My son was murdered almost 4 years ago. Shot dead in cold blood while visiting NYC for the first time. Just sitting on the porch of an Airbnb minding his own business. The anger and rage and severe depression have nearly broken me and my wife. It’s been really terrible. One thing I was told to do was WALK. I have walked so much. And while I walk, I pray. And while I pray, I remind myself that I am not in charge, God is. I ask for Grace,understanding and healing. It is coming. Slowly, but it is coming. As mentioned here, when I feel a memory if I’m able to, I try to think about it confront it. I tried ignoring it. But you have to relive the trauma to process. I don’t suppose I’ll ever be totally OK, but trauma is a total monster.
EMDR is a really great treatment for trauma. Yoga and meditation (along with prayer) saved me when I lost 3 close family members within the span of 5 years. Praying for you and your wife.
god bless you. there’s no such thing as a normal or reasonable response to what you’ve been thru . only a non linear and unpredictable response. work slowly to understand what you’ve been thru and work from there
A pastor once told me that forgiveness of others relieves ourselves from hatred in our hearts, but it doesn’t mean we need to trust them again. Not one of us is perfect.
9 years ago my wife left, divorced and married another man. 4 kids. I’ve never been right since. I was generally a content healthy bio, social, spiritual, relational person. Now, I despise people genuinely asking me how I am doing. I’m not doing well and I haven’t been doing well for 10 years. Complex trauma is for real. I feel like the women in the bible with the issue of the blood. The harder I try to heal and the more I spend, the worse it gets. Please help me heal Jesus.
Forgive yourself for the suffering you have endured so far, forgive your ex for the decisions she made that effected you in a negative way and look for all the beauty in your life and keep working towards what will help your life.
"Complex" PTSD does not exist, it is not a disorder in the DSM and was explicitly created as a term for people who *do* *not* have PTSD but want to. In order to "have" "complex" PTSD you literally have to *rule* *out* actual PTSD.
@@Khoros-Mythos What on earth are you yapping about? Why would anyone "want to" have ptsd? Cptsd and ptsd can co-exist, they are just labels. The DSM is just a book written by people, just because some diagnosis isn't there doesn't mean it isn't real. How old are you dude?
@@Khoros-Mythosnot only were you incapable to doing a quick good search, but you also attack and belittle others. Try to be more kind. PTSD is usually caused from a singular traumatic event like witnessing a death. while C-PTSD is caused when someone experiences trauma again and again over a prolonged period of time.
My girlfriend Jasmine just sent this to me. I know im a good man but I struggle with things just like anyone else. I want to be a better person and I am trying.
You got this! We all struggle, we’ve all been traumatized, you are not alone. The worst trick our minds play on us is making us think we are alone in our trauma. Trauma, hardship is a part of life. Find people who love you, and find community that cares for each other. It’s a journey.
Got you in my prayers man I’m on the same page found out my girls pregnant and I just wanna be the best person I can be for them wishing you peace and prosperity from Canada
I send videos to my bf & he doesn’t even watch them most of the time… I know I deserve better but at the same time I think “if I was being a good gf, he would”…🤦♀️..
Surrendering my life to God, Complete sobriety, and practicing Celibacy & therapy saved my life. I had to turn my back on life as I knew it and walk a whole new path. I allowed Christ to do a New Thing in my life. It was the best decision I have ever made.
When I was 14yrs I watched my mum walk down an airplane ramp going back to Wales 🏴…. I was supposed to follow after the school year (all bollocks and lies) My father then thought that it was best if he bought a townhouse for me to live in alone (age14yrs) while he lived with my “stepmother” and raised her two children who happened to be the same age as me….stepbrother was 9 days older than me…stepsister was 1 year younger than me)….. I had to do everything…cook for myself…do my own laundry…get myself to school (the only thing that saved me was that I was smart and I liked school knowing I was going to university)…. The trauma left just from those experiences are profound (and there was more trauma…more obstacles put in my way)…. I’m 18 months sober age 61 and this will NEVER go away…. the hurt lessens….but it will always influence my life and choices
You sound like you're on the right path. I too was thrust into.adulthood overnight. It's a miracle that I'm here today. Welcome to the rest of your life! We are basically the same age, you and I. The whole world has really changed, hasn't it...?
Oh baby, I hope one day it gets better for you. Trust me I get it but at the end of the day we go through a lot of different emotions /feelings and the crap sometimes just suck! So we have to find ourselves a new normal even if means just appreciating the simple things in life. Sending love dear from Dallas you keep pushing through❤
Tim Fletcher is great! I’ve worked my ass off for 6 years on CPTSD, trying everything and finally have more or less healed…it’s really difficult but so worth it!
I love, ❤️ Tim Fletcher. I took his program in 2021. If you want to find a sophisticated, and loving experience, a safe place, take his courses. There is support, after you finish ! It’s amazing. Thank you Tim, for helping me.
I've been following Tim's channel since 2021 when I began to understand my own childhood trauma. Along with my amazing therapist and his wisdom I'm feeling "normal" for the first time in my 64 years on the planet. I can't say enough about how his teachings have helped me get my life back.
I cannot say how excited I was to see that he is a guest. I’ve listened to his series many times and it is the best most comprehensive info I’ve come across for healing, and understanding.
I've been working with hypnotists for years doing exactly this. I am so much better. Now I am working on my relationships directly. Forgiveness and grief have been the stuck points. This has been an incredibly rewarding process.
That shows me, a total stranger, what a great Mother she was. You just told a billion people about her on youtube. Imagine telling her childhood self, that THAT many people would know about her. Wild right? But it’s true. I’m sorry for your loss. I love my mom, and I know you do.
That fucking sucks man. I can’t imagine. One day I’ll have to deal with losing my parents too, it’s scary. Let me know how your healing goes, praying for you
This was an enormously positive episode that I could see being life changing for a great number of people. Y'all covered some stuff that took me a decade to gather from all over and piece together for myself.
This is great, thanks for giving him a platform. I've been in C-PTSD treatment for 12 years and everything he said rings true. Pete Walkers book "From Surviving to Thriving" is a great reference as well.
I feel Theo. I know exactly how he feels. I have complex PTSD & it has literally worn my ass out and on SO many levels! It's one busy ass disorder. Have your ass sitting up there in a Texas sized tired.
I am so glad Tim talked about forgiveness as not the first thing to jump to in a trauma state. I have struggled with the frustration of not being able to adequately forgive family members for childhood abuse and neglect. I feel bad for not being able to forgive and move on and I feel bad that I even call them abusers. I feel like it is harsh and so I start to justify and make light of everything and so I go in and out of loving them and resenting or hating them, all depending on if I am triggered or not. My life has been extremely hard because of them yet I am conflicted because they are also all I have. Something in me feels guilty when I voice how bad things really were and still and so I am always on the fence of forgiving and moving on and having a deep resentment and anger towards them. I am a Christian and that also confuses me because I know I should forgive but I live with the effects of CPTSD everyday that they caused and it feels like a prison. in some ways I am worse. I so need help!
Oh my GOSH, thank you for this!❤ This little clip gave me more "meat" about compassionate inquiry, forgiveness and healing than I found in years of therapy. Maybe that past work helped prime the pump- IDK. But this is EXACTLY what my what my soul needed today.
Recovering from cptsd. Now teach dramatic arts therapy - hits all 5 areas required for healing and growth - Agree to heal we must treat the whole person.
Tim Fletcher and his videos are the breakthrough ive been hoping for! I cant believe he's not bigger! Learning self awareness and re-learning how to trust is the key to personal development.
I had a very traumatic child hood and early years followed by more trauma and rough years self medicated with drugs and alcohol since the age of 12 . Finally spent 90 days inpatient and got some help in my 30’s remd therapy helped me but I fell off the wagon again a ways after my only daughter punched her own ticket. and am now going through a nasty divorce 3 sons … I am now back in therapy in my early 40’s . Cptsd sucks and requires constant upkeep to not fall back into old patterns.
Speaking to my hurt , sad and pissed-off 17 year old rebel helped me get through so many situations. He doesn't want to mature....I am not harsh with him but loving. It takes time. "The magical child within you" I found this great small book in the late 80's. Author Bruce Davis PHD. I even learned to grab control of my panic attacks by comforting and internally speaking with my inner child. I grew up in an unpredictable crazy family and control was a big issue....My mother was so bipolar at a time when it was called Manic Depressive......so intense and mean. Angry. And a father that enabled her craziness.....
I have a hard time loving myself, it’s almost impossible to. I was broken up with recently and I had plans to move across the country for work. He was factored into my plans and now I feel paralyzed. I don’t know if I can leave anymore because my mental state is so awful. I know my worth isn’t tied to a man, but I’ve been praying for a good man and every single time I’m let down and left feeling worse and worse. I can’t help but feel like I’m the problem. My mother passed many years ago but she wasn’t the greatest (she had her own trauma from an awful childhood). When im in a great relationship, I feel great. But when that relationship is struggling or it ends- I’m left feeling absolutely devastated & depressed. I need to find out why these feelings come up every time.
I’m sorry your going through this dear. Please trust and believe your not alone. My daughter is going through something similar with dating. You put your all in just to de disappointed. It’s not fair that y’all have to put up with this. Just know that there will come a day that you will find peace for yourself and when you do find it that special person will find you. Always remember your the prize and whenever you walk down the street or around town. Hold your head up with confidence and love yourself!!!!others will feel your presence and wish they had it. Sending love ❤️ from Dallas. Everything will be okay baby trust me!
I wish I had heard this information 10 years ago. I was raised in a dysfunctional Christian family. I still struggle. My late mother suffered from a personality disorder. But no one knew this back then. After I did some research during COVID, I discovered she struggled with BPD. Because of this, family life was very difficult during my developmental years. I grew up hating myself. I still struggle.🤔
I had done that exercise of talking to my inner child to heal shame. I’m measuring my HVR for a while now, and it raised 30% after that. I can tell it truly works
Theo thank you so much. I really appreciate you having the courage to confront the mental health issues that most of us have but, never confront. Love what your doing, keep it up and I wish you the best on your journey. Thank you, this help me feel human.
If I talk about my trauma or I’m honest about my trauma it makes people not believe me or I’m “ annoying “. I experienced domestic violence by my ex who was a police officer and I swear he had every one turn on me , and he took my children for things I never did. And I have no shame saying. This isolation and everything I love taken no family not a support system I don’t know how I ll ever heal. Because how can you all by yourself.
Self-love and re-parenting, the two biggest endeavors with regards to healing from a crappy childhood, and even parental narcissistic abuse that extends into the childs adulthood (Infantilization). Getting clean from drugs (including the drug alcohol) and not jerking your noodle are two very big steps in the right direction. Stay in touch with your original volition. Print it out, put it on the wall, and reiterate it to yourself everyday, what you are doing, and why you are doing it. Dont let that nasty little demon voice win. Do not meditate on your negative inner dialogue, and dont beat yourself if you do. Just remember to drop it when you catch yourself in that old habit. The more you catch yourself, and say to yourself "aha, there it is again" and drop it, the less it will appear. Over time, you will radically change for the better. Lose sympathy with your negative mind, what it comes up with, is not the truth. Study how to meditate, and then do it daily. Improve your diet, less sugar and refined carbs. Watch less negative BS online. Cut out toxic people you have allowed into your life, that includes family.
Instead of cutting family out of your life, perhaps you’ll be able to heal and cope in a healthier manner? Emotional pain is rough. 😅Compassion for “toxic” people is a sign of inner strength. Pray for us all. 🙏
@@rhondasmith7413 Thank you for conveying how little you understand. Read your Bible, it says not to tolerate narcissists and remove yourself from their sphere of influence, even if it is family.
even if you were never overtly told you were unwanted, a child knows/feels/understands/intuits there's a difference between being tolerated and being cherished... grief and rage rape me my soul is tortured and tormented and haunted and raped I'm lonely as all hell I've been raped all my life MY VOICE HAS BEEN SILENCED MY WHOLE DAMN LIFE. MY BEAUTIFUL SACRED MIRACULOUS VOICE. MY VOICE IS MY MAGICAL GIFT OF TRANSMUTATION! that being said, all my life... I have given people access to me in ways that I should not have EVER granted them access now, I want to scream at the top of my lungs: FUCK OFF!! YOU DO NOT GET TO HAVE ACCESS TO ME IN THAT WAY!! THE DOOR IS NOT OPEN!! YOU MAY NOT COME IN!! ACCESS DENIED!! I've been programmed my whole life to be silent, conditioned to have no boundaries... I MUST REMEMBER: one very crucial detail in life... the reason I am even capable of desiring is because the GODsource-LIFEforce within me has already created it for me and is telling I already have the thing I'm desiring... to desire is to have. it was manifesting me before I could even desire it. this is so crucial. I must take advantage of this knowledge...
TY TIM- SO IMPORTANT @ 9:45 ish in - Theo asked about “Forgiveness” and one key thing you said IS ABOUT THE BRAIN!! When doing all the therapeutic work w/ Trauma Therapy- the further you get into it, the Limbic system in our brains will not react the same way as before- the wounds/triggers won’t be there as they were BEFORE. So many people don’t know about ALL THE BRAIN STUFF- THE NEURO SCIENCE- IN TRAUMA AND TRAUMA WORK/THERAPY. And you don’t have to be a brain surgeon to learn this stuff guys, you can learn it! And really, you HAVE to &/or be open & willing to learn about it for Complex Trauma and any therapeutic work for it. ❤️❤️
I cannot get past what he has done and It doesn't take much and my anxiety is through the roof. What seams like a small comment or or movie or me leaving the house for days on vacation and I'm triggered, upset and crying. We go to counceler, he truly wants to fix him and our relationship. Counceler has helped us get along, teach him to communicate and our roles in the home plus he us compassionate with me. All the therapists wants to talk about is how to get us to get along. Nobody wants to help me with my trama, I'm told to take deep breaths when I get upset, deep breaths! They are pushing forgiveness but nobody wants to actually help me.
Ive already made peace with my past, it wasn’t really that bad. What I would like to shake is the habit that I’ve used for 40 years. I would love to learn how to ride that bike!
That's the best thing I ever heard about forgiveness! ❤❤❤❤ Evenly quote the Bible forgive your enemies. But the contradiction is Jesus also says stand up and defeat the devil.?
Insinuating that a psych is there to cure is hilarious. Figure out a way to remove yourself from big pharma brother, and you’ll find health is finally possible with that therapists.
Generally, any (bigger than normal) emotional or physical response that you have to a situation. Sometimes it makes sense (someone says something that reminds you of something bad that happened to you), but sometimes it doesn’t make as much sense why we get triggered. It’s really important people understand that what “triggered” really is - is a physiological response in the nervous system that activates us to that “fight/flight/freeze” state.
Say for example a particular song comes on, a song that makes you feel real uncomfortable and you have to turn it off every time because of the feeling it gives you but you don’t know why - That kind of thing, trauma behind that could be something like you were abused as a child and that song was playing in the background - That song is the trigger for the trauma you didn’t realise matched with it - That’s my understanding of it anyway
For me, it’s when I can tell that I’m having a “fight, flight, or freeze” response to something. When I get triggered, I notice that I’ll get physically tense, I can’t complete tasks that need to get done because I’m mentally stuck in whatever moment in the past I’m brought back to from that trigger, I can become extremely reserved, and sometimes I’ll have mental dialogues or imaginary conversations going on in my head where I’m raging over trying to defend myself to someone who caused a certain part of severe trauma for me. That’s at least what it’s like for me, personally.
@@RandyJanee Feel you on that as well, at least being able to acknowledge that is a good foundation to have, and then trying to work through it albeit not easy, definitely worth it. “We’ve all got our own Vietnam”
My son was murdered almost 4 years ago. Shot dead in cold blood while visiting NYC for the first time. Just sitting on the porch of an Airbnb minding his own business.
The anger and rage and severe depression have nearly broken me and my wife. It’s been really terrible.
One thing I was told to do was WALK. I have walked so much. And while I walk, I pray. And while I pray, I remind myself that I am not in charge, God is. I ask for Grace,understanding and healing. It is coming. Slowly, but it is coming.
As mentioned here, when I feel a memory if I’m able to, I try to think about it confront it. I tried ignoring it. But you have to relive the trauma to process. I don’t suppose I’ll ever be totally OK, but trauma is a total monster.
So sorry for your loss.
EMDR is a really great treatment for trauma. Yoga and meditation (along with prayer) saved me when I lost 3 close family members within the span of 5 years. Praying for you and your wife.
I’m so sorry 😢
god bless you. there’s no such thing as a normal or reasonable response to what you’ve been thru . only a non linear and unpredictable response. work slowly to understand what you’ve been thru and work from there
“The seed in your heart shall blossom…”
A pastor once told me that forgiveness of others relieves ourselves from hatred in our hearts, but it doesn’t mean we need to trust them again. Not one of us is perfect.
9 years ago my wife left, divorced and married another man. 4 kids. I’ve never been right since. I was generally a content healthy bio, social, spiritual, relational person. Now, I despise people genuinely asking me how I am doing. I’m not doing well and I haven’t been doing well for 10 years. Complex trauma is for real. I feel like the women in the bible with the issue of the blood. The harder I try to heal and the more I spend, the worse it gets. Please help me heal Jesus.
First its okay to feel that way. Have u been in therapy?
Forgive yourself for the suffering you have endured so far, forgive your ex for the decisions she made that effected you in a negative way and look for all the beauty in your life and keep working towards what will help your life.
I'm sorry brother. You are not alone.
Same here. It took 10 years it find myself again. I’m glad she’s gone now. Been missing the life I wanted to live.
I feel that. Almost like I’m just a constant state of angry and not give a shit. I just don’t care about anything anymore. 4 years now.
This guest is a genius. This has to be taught in schools.
He has an amazing yt channel but I agree we need this to be normal in our society so we can evolve.
Prayer was the best therapist I ever found. I had complex ptsd and made it to the other side 100% because of God
Amen
"Complex" PTSD does not exist, it is not a disorder in the DSM and was explicitly created as a term for people who *do* *not* have PTSD but want to. In order to "have" "complex" PTSD you literally have to *rule* *out* actual PTSD.
@@Khoros-Mythos What on earth are you yapping about? Why would anyone "want to" have ptsd? Cptsd and ptsd can co-exist, they are just labels. The DSM is just a book written by people, just because some diagnosis isn't there doesn't mean it isn't real. How old are you dude?
@@Khoros-Mythosah that’s really nuts! You might be on the wrong channel. Good lord. Who cares about the dms when you are sick !
@@Khoros-Mythosnot only were you incapable to doing a quick good search, but you also attack and belittle others. Try to be more kind.
PTSD is usually caused from a singular traumatic event like witnessing a death. while C-PTSD is caused when someone experiences trauma again and again over a prolonged period of time.
Helping others and working a homestead taking care of goats, chickens, pigs. Moved to the mountains to escape the city.
My homestead is here
@dragonrider9051 @eobbobsjobs8455 well done to you both, and your magnificent beards
Hell yes brothers!!
I wish I could. I need to get away from hurtful, angry people. They seen to be everywhere. I just one to be one with nature, everyday.
My girlfriend Jasmine just sent this to me. I know im a good man but I struggle with things just like anyone else. I want to be a better person and I am trying.
You’re not tryin, you’re actively doing.
You can do it brother, be honest with yourself and your actions. I’ll pray for you, much love Jesus loves you no matter what.
You got this! We all struggle, we’ve all been traumatized, you are not alone. The worst trick our minds play on us is making us think we are alone in our trauma.
Trauma, hardship is a part of life. Find people who love you, and find community that cares for each other. It’s a journey.
Got you in my prayers man I’m on the same page found out my girls pregnant and I just wanna be the best person I can be for them wishing you peace and prosperity from Canada
I send videos to my bf & he doesn’t even watch them most of the time… I know I deserve better but at the same time I think “if I was being a good gf, he would”…🤦♀️..
Ever since this came out, I listen to it almost twice a day.
That makes so much sense.
Surrendering my life to God, Complete sobriety, and practicing Celibacy & therapy saved my life. I had to turn my back on life as I knew it and walk a whole new path. I allowed Christ to do a New Thing in my life. It was the best decision I have ever made.
I believe after trying so many things , this is the answer. Complete surrender to Christ
so you're saying you've been a 304 all your life?
Amen 🎊 🙏🏽
You go girl I'm proud of you won't ever meet you in this life but we'll see each other in the life to come my sister in Christ
When I was 14yrs I watched my mum walk down an airplane ramp going back to Wales 🏴…. I was supposed to follow after the school year (all bollocks and lies) My father then thought that it was best if he bought a townhouse for me to live in alone (age14yrs) while he lived with my “stepmother” and raised her two children who happened to be the same age as me….stepbrother was 9 days older than me…stepsister was 1 year younger than me)….. I had to do everything…cook for myself…do my own laundry…get myself to school (the only thing that saved me was that I was smart and I liked school knowing I was going to university)…. The trauma left just from those experiences are profound (and there was more trauma…more obstacles put in my way)…. I’m 18 months sober age 61 and this will NEVER go away…. the hurt lessens….but it will always influence my life and choices
You sound like you're on the right path. I too was thrust into.adulthood overnight. It's a miracle that I'm here today. Welcome to the rest of your life! We are basically the same age, you and I. The whole world has really changed, hasn't it...?
@@RobertaFierro-mc1ub indeed it has…. Thank you fellow traveler…!!!
Thank you for sharing. Hope you gain peace 🙏🏼
Thank you for sharing ! That's so moving... from France 🇨🇵🙌🏾🙌🏾
I'm sorry you were treated that way, your father failed and betrayed you. You didn't deserve any of that ❤
I don't believe i can ever be healthy enough for a romantic relationship. Just getting to the end of my life, without killing myself, will do.
Relatable
Felt. I'm right there aswell, we got this.
I’m sorry for your pain.
Oh baby, I hope one day it gets better for you. Trust me I get it but at the end of the day we go through a lot of different emotions /feelings and the crap sometimes just suck! So we have to find ourselves a new normal even if means just appreciating the simple things in life. Sending love dear from Dallas you keep pushing through❤
Damn. Never give up though
Tim Fletcher is great! I’ve worked my ass off for 6 years on CPTSD, trying everything and finally have more or less healed…it’s really difficult but so worth it!
How
@mattng4707 Check out the book "Complex PTSD Surviving to Thriving by Peter Walker"
Its a great resource for trauma
Try reading “from surviving to thriving”. There is a workbook too. Good stuff
I love, ❤️ Tim Fletcher. I took his program in 2021. If you want to find a sophisticated, and loving experience, a safe place, take his courses. There is support, after you finish ! It’s amazing. Thank you Tim, for helping me.
Thank you. I didn’t think to look to see if he had any offerings. Definitely interested
Do you mean on-line programs or on-site?
@@catw5294 there is both !
@@catw5294 hello he offers both.
I took lift that was online.
@@catw5294hi I took the Lift on-line program.
I think we all have the inner child inside of us.
Probably
Yep!! And even that lil fucker needs help ❤
PAUSE 😂
True. Some people have a very wounded one, others have a relatively nurtured one, some have an extremely fragmented one, to name a few
@@jaymysterio4197 mine is messed up
It's a reminder that rebuilding trust in relationships can lay a strong foundation for long-term healing and growth 💖.
I've been following Tim's channel since 2021 when I began to understand my own childhood trauma. Along with my amazing therapist and his wisdom I'm feeling "normal" for the first time in my 64 years on the planet. I can't say enough about how his teachings have helped me get my life back.
This man is a treasure, for sure. He sets the standard for love, compassion and understanding.
@@Sunmoonstars976 He taught me compassion for myself and that's where my healing really took root.
I cannot say how excited I was to see that he is a guest. I’ve listened to his series many times and it is the best most comprehensive info I’ve come across for healing, and understanding.
Exactly my thoughts, same here!
I've been working with hypnotists for years doing exactly this. I am so much better. Now I am working on my relationships directly. Forgiveness and grief have been the stuck points. This has been an incredibly rewarding process.
My mom passed in 2018 from Lupus and a CVA. I can accept what happened knowing she's free from pain, but I'll still hurt everyday.
That shows me, a total stranger, what a great Mother she was. You just told a billion people about her on youtube. Imagine telling her childhood self, that THAT many people would know about her. Wild right? But it’s true. I’m sorry for your loss. I love my mom, and I know you do.
That fucking sucks man. I can’t imagine. One day I’ll have to deal with losing my parents too, it’s scary. Let me know how your healing goes, praying for you
This was an enormously positive episode that I could see being life changing for a great number of people. Y'all covered some stuff that took me a decade to gather from all over and piece together for myself.
This is great, thanks for giving him a platform. I've been in C-PTSD treatment for 12 years and everything he said rings true. Pete Walkers book "From Surviving to Thriving" is a great reference as well.
I love that Theo is having such a wide variety of guests.
"well that person is a politician" 😭😭
I dont think some people realize the double joke he made there 😂
@@dejax9 I had to look at the comments before i said anything haha'
I feel Theo. I know exactly how he feels. I have complex PTSD & it has literally worn my ass out and on SO many levels! It's one busy ass disorder. Have your ass sitting up there in a Texas sized tired.
I am so glad Tim talked about forgiveness as not the first thing to jump to in a trauma state. I have struggled with the frustration of not being able to adequately forgive family members for childhood abuse and neglect. I feel bad for not being able to forgive and move on and I feel bad that I even call them abusers. I feel like it is harsh and so I start to justify and make light of everything and so I go in and out of loving them and resenting or hating them, all depending on if I am triggered or not. My life has been extremely hard because of them yet I am conflicted because they are also all I have. Something in me feels guilty when I voice how bad things really were and still and so I am always on the fence of forgiving and moving on and having a deep resentment and anger towards them. I am a Christian and that also confuses me because I know I should forgive but I live with the effects of CPTSD everyday that they caused and it feels like a prison. in some ways I am worse. I so need help!
Oh my GOSH, thank you for this!❤ This little clip gave me more "meat" about compassionate inquiry, forgiveness and healing than I found in years of therapy. Maybe that past work helped prime the pump- IDK. But this is EXACTLY what my what my soul needed today.
What's wrong with therapy !?? First of my life today. I'm 38. And what a desappointement ! What can be done instead ? 🫣
This guy nails it. I’m glad Theo had him on
Omg! Tim Fletcher! His videos have helped me so much.
Recovering from cptsd.
Now teach dramatic arts therapy - hits all 5 areas required for healing and growth -
Agree to heal we must treat the whole person.
Thank you for having him on. He is a profound teacher. Kudos to you both.
Your videos are seriously cool, keep 'em coming!
Tim Fletcher and his videos are the breakthrough ive been hoping for! I cant believe he's not bigger! Learning self awareness and re-learning how to trust is the key to personal development.
I had a very traumatic child hood and early years followed by more trauma and rough years self medicated with drugs and alcohol since the age of 12 . Finally spent 90 days inpatient and got some help in my 30’s remd therapy helped me but I fell off the wagon again a ways after my only daughter punched her own ticket. and am now going through a nasty divorce 3 sons … I am now back in therapy in my early 40’s . Cptsd sucks and requires constant upkeep to not fall back into old patterns.
I pray for you to have strength and courage to continue on the path. It’s not an easy road but not an impossible one.
Hearing Theo talk about feeling the addiction creep in: 5:02 relate so much to that. I think acknowledging it is what makes it torturous sometimes
This whole video was worth it for the last 40 seconds - takes time to relearn the shit you were fed as a child.
Speaking to my hurt , sad and pissed-off 17 year old rebel helped me get through so many situations. He doesn't want to mature....I am not harsh with him but loving. It takes time. "The magical child within you" I found this great small book in the late 80's. Author Bruce Davis PHD. I even learned to grab control of my panic attacks by comforting and internally speaking with my inner child. I grew up in an unpredictable crazy family and control was a big issue....My mother was so bipolar at a time when it was called Manic Depressive......so intense and mean. Angry. And a father that enabled her craziness.....
I have a hard time loving myself, it’s almost impossible to. I was broken up with recently and I had plans to move across the country for work. He was factored into my plans and now I feel paralyzed. I don’t know if I can leave anymore because my mental state is so awful. I know my worth isn’t tied to a man, but I’ve been praying for a good man and every single time I’m let down and left feeling worse and worse. I can’t help but feel like I’m the problem. My mother passed many years ago but she wasn’t the greatest (she had her own trauma from an awful childhood).
When im in a great relationship, I feel great. But when that relationship is struggling or it ends- I’m left feeling absolutely devastated & depressed. I need to find out why these feelings come up every time.
I’m sorry your going through this dear. Please trust and believe your not alone. My daughter is going through something similar with dating. You put your all in just to de disappointed. It’s not fair that y’all have to put up with this. Just know that there will come a day that you will find peace for yourself and when you do find it that special person will find you. Always remember your the prize and whenever you walk down the street or around town. Hold your head up with confidence and love yourself!!!!others will feel your presence and wish they had it. Sending love ❤️ from Dallas. Everything will be okay baby trust me!
I respect you for acknowledging it could be you. This sounds like attachment rather than love.
Absolutely perfect response about forgiveness.
Have a great day anyone who reads this 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉❤
Same to you!
I’ll rip a pack to that! Thanks brother!
@Solitary-Birds ty
@@pvillelde ty
Thanks you too!!
Tim is the man
Theo is Adorable.
I wish I had heard this information 10 years ago. I was raised in a dysfunctional Christian family. I still struggle. My late mother suffered from a personality disorder. But no one knew this back then. After I did some research during COVID, I discovered she struggled with BPD. Because of this, family life was very difficult during my developmental years. I grew up hating myself. I still struggle.🤔
LOVE TIM FLETCHER !! Omg so unexpected to see him as a guest here ❤
I am so thankful for this man!! Thank you Mr. Fletcher and than you Theo for having him on your show
my fav part is the paper he had which clearly shows he works harder for everything then many think
I had done that exercise of talking to my inner child to heal shame. I’m measuring my HVR for a while now, and it raised 30% after that. I can tell it truly works
If Theo gets better, he won't be funny anymore.
But he would be happier, so it would be worth it.
Theo thank you so much. I really appreciate you having the courage to confront the mental health issues that most of us have but, never confront. Love what your doing, keep it up and I wish you the best on your journey. Thank you, this help me feel human.
1:27 Theo utilizing his imaginary footstool
Thank you for pointing that out! 😂
😂
That politician joke was genius
I'm so grateful for you ,since I came across you .someone finally gets me
Watch this pastor often, super insightful stuff, scrolled down after his video and was surprised to see this! Good job 👍
Two of my favourite people ❤
this is the most insane crossover I did not see coming.
You must not know much about Theo then.
@@stacytw79seriously! Theos range of guests is insane!
If I talk about my trauma or I’m honest about my trauma it makes people not believe me or I’m “ annoying “.
I experienced domestic violence by my ex who was a police officer and I swear he had every one turn on me , and he took my children for things I never did. And I have no shame saying. This isolation and everything I love taken no family not a support system I don’t know how I ll ever heal. Because how can you all by yourself.
Self-love and re-parenting, the two biggest endeavors with regards to healing from a crappy childhood, and even parental narcissistic abuse that extends into the childs adulthood (Infantilization).
Getting clean from drugs (including the drug alcohol) and not jerking your noodle are two very big steps in the right direction. Stay in touch with your original volition. Print it out, put it on the wall, and reiterate it to yourself everyday, what you are doing, and why you are doing it. Dont let that nasty little demon voice win. Do not meditate on your negative inner dialogue, and dont beat yourself if you do. Just remember to drop it when you catch yourself in that old habit. The more you catch yourself, and say to yourself "aha, there it is again" and drop it, the less it will appear. Over time, you will radically change for the better. Lose sympathy with your negative mind, what it comes up with, is not the truth. Study how to meditate, and then do it daily. Improve your diet, less sugar and refined carbs. Watch less negative BS online. Cut out toxic people you have allowed into your life, that includes family.
Instead of cutting family out of your life, perhaps you’ll be able to heal and cope in a healthier manner? Emotional pain is rough. 😅Compassion for “toxic” people is a sign of inner strength. Pray for us all. 🙏
@@rhondasmith7413 Thank you for conveying how little you understand.
Read your Bible, it says not to tolerate narcissists and remove yourself from their sphere of influence, even if it is family.
@@HeartFeltGesture Do you have a specific Bible verse reference to support your statement?
Everything I needed to hear in one video. Thank you.
The How old do I feel part got me good
Yeah I’m gonna need this whole podcast not just a clip
even if you were never overtly told you were unwanted,
a child knows/feels/understands/intuits there's a difference
between being tolerated and being cherished...
grief and rage rape me
my soul is tortured and tormented
and haunted and raped
I'm lonely as all hell
I've been raped all my life
MY VOICE HAS BEEN SILENCED
MY WHOLE DAMN LIFE.
MY BEAUTIFUL SACRED MIRACULOUS VOICE.
MY VOICE IS MY MAGICAL GIFT OF TRANSMUTATION!
that being said,
all my life...
I have given people access to me
in ways that I should not have EVER
granted them access
now,
I want to scream
at the top of my lungs:
FUCK OFF!!
YOU DO NOT GET TO HAVE ACCESS TO ME IN THAT WAY!!
THE DOOR IS NOT OPEN!!
YOU MAY NOT COME IN!!
ACCESS DENIED!!
I've been programmed my whole life to be silent,
conditioned to have no boundaries...
I MUST REMEMBER:
one very crucial detail in life...
the reason I am even capable of desiring
is because the GODsource-LIFEforce within me
has already created it for me and is telling I already have the thing I'm desiring...
to desire is to have.
it was manifesting me before I could even desire it. this is so crucial.
I must take advantage of this knowledge...
Thanks for sharing
TY TIM- SO IMPORTANT @ 9:45 ish in - Theo asked about “Forgiveness” and one key thing you said IS ABOUT THE BRAIN!!
When doing all the therapeutic work w/ Trauma Therapy- the further you get into it, the Limbic system in our brains will not react the same way as before- the wounds/triggers won’t be there as they were BEFORE.
So many people don’t know about ALL THE BRAIN STUFF- THE NEURO SCIENCE- IN TRAUMA AND TRAUMA WORK/THERAPY.
And you don’t have to be a brain surgeon to learn this stuff guys, you can learn it! And really, you HAVE to &/or be open & willing to learn about it for Complex Trauma and any therapeutic work for it.
❤️❤️
❤ thank you so much for speaking about this
You look good girl, got IG?
Just ran across your comment and Girl!! You look a lot like Carrie Underwood!
Really loved this guys. Thank u❤
Theo is good man like really good. His questions are amazing
I cannot get past what he has done and It doesn't take much and my anxiety is through the roof. What seams like a small comment or or movie or me leaving the house for days on vacation and I'm triggered, upset and crying. We go to counceler, he truly wants to fix him and our relationship. Counceler has helped us get along, teach him to communicate and our roles in the home plus he us compassionate with me. All the therapists wants to talk about is how to get us to get along. Nobody wants to help me with my trama, I'm told to take deep breaths when I get upset, deep breaths! They are pushing forgiveness but nobody wants to actually help me.
Forgiveness of others will help relieve the pain. It doesn’t mean you have to trust. Not one of us is perfect.
This is really fucking spectacular! Worded so perfectly, so relevant, thank you.
I fear things that haven't even happened! I feel like I'm constantly on alert
Great discussion, Theo
When I see pix of myself makes me cry
Ive already made peace with my past, it wasn’t really that bad. What I would like to shake is the habit that I’ve used for 40 years. I would love to learn how to ride that bike!
God is great
Thanks Theo
Theo, you should get Professor Sam Vaknin on the show!!!!
This is very good!
for years i trying to find help but nothing seems to work and i hate all those therapists they all are shit
This podcast is my therapist
Just got out of rehab I was on meth 40 days straight u DETOX first 2 or 3 days then u go see therapists and counselors to get to root of issue
No one ever mentions revenge as opposed to forgiveness
That's the best thing I ever heard about forgiveness! ❤❤❤❤ Evenly quote the Bible forgive your enemies. But the contradiction is Jesus also says stand up and defeat the devil.?
Only after you forgive yourself you will be hable to forgive others.
For me, cats are the answer for unlimited love. Good luck y’all.
❤️🌴🐈🐈🐈🌴🏴☠️
Cats are evil 😂
Hey im with ya on that one. Limitless love forever!
Maybe you giving, cant imagine any receiving.
My cat my best friend. 🐈🐈🐈💕🤩💛💛💛
Real shit
i go to therapy so the therapy becomes better. i see a shrink, not a therapist because a therapist is not there to cure, they are support
Insinuating that a psych is there to cure is hilarious. Figure out a way to remove yourself from big pharma brother, and you’ll find health is finally possible with that therapists.
Braindead psy
I can 2nd that. None of them can heal ya bro but youd be better on relying on doctors to numb the issues.
This is an interesting POV That i can relate with, but in many ways the opposite.
What’s with the deer in a headlight look with Theo ?
What does he mean by a trigger though? I can see how logically it fits in, but not picture anything practical?
Generally, any (bigger than normal) emotional or physical response that you have to a situation. Sometimes it makes sense (someone says something that reminds you of something bad that happened to you), but sometimes it doesn’t make as much sense why we get triggered. It’s really important people understand that what “triggered” really is - is a physiological response in the nervous system that activates us to that “fight/flight/freeze” state.
Love theo big fan since the early days with joey diaz
Everything I know is all I know and that's all I know.
We do demonstrate summoning only.
How to know or be aware of the triggers of the trauma that you aren't aware of?
Say for example a particular song comes on, a song that makes you feel real uncomfortable and you have to turn it off every time because of the feeling it gives you but you don’t know why - That kind of thing, trauma behind that could be something like you were abused as a child and that song was playing in the background - That song is the trigger for the trauma you didn’t realise matched with it - That’s my understanding of it anyway
Ty ❤@@danbrown9
For me, it’s when I can tell that I’m having a “fight, flight, or freeze” response to something. When I get triggered, I notice that I’ll get physically tense, I can’t complete tasks that need to get done because I’m mentally stuck in whatever moment in the past I’m brought back to from that trigger, I can become extremely reserved, and sometimes I’ll have mental dialogues or imaginary conversations going on in my head where I’m raging over trying to defend myself to someone who caused a certain part of severe trauma for me. That’s at least what it’s like for me, personally.
@@RandyJaneewow it’s like you described exactly what happens in my head when I’m emotion triggered
@@RandyJanee Feel you on that as well, at least being able to acknowledge that is a good foundation to have, and then trying to work through it albeit not easy, definitely worth it. “We’ve all got our own Vietnam”
Well that person is a politician 😂😂😂
I need coping skills
We all have different personalities living inside of us? Don't know about that.
That person is a politician 😊
Where do I get one of those bikes?
Wacky Action Bike!
What if your inner child likes to break windows?
Well, they need some therapy.
❤
@@stacytw79 I thought I was shadow banned. You actually saw my comment?
locate the trauma with the Theta brainwave, Theta Healing x
Unfortunately we are apart of the percentage that they don’t talk about