Why do some women wait decades for an ADHD diagnosis? - BBC News
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- Опубліковано 23 сер 2024
- Gender bias is leaving many women with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) undiagnosed, leading psychologists are warning.
The stereotype that ADHD affects only "naughty boys" means it is estimated tens of thousands of women in the UK are unaware they have the condition, and are not receiving the help they need.
Another factor leading to slow diagnosis is the fact that symptoms of ADHD in women tend to be more subtle than in men, meaning signs can be missed.
These women have shared their stories of their struggle to be diagnosed.
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“I didn’t like me then, but I’m quite fond of me now.” Wow.
That part😢 I need that so bad
❤
That’s called, “finally understanding”
I got diagnosed in December 2020, at the age of 20. Every school report evidenced the fact that I struggled with ADHD growing up. I sobbed when I was diagnosed. All the failures I had suffered while comments such as “intelligent but doesn’t focus enough” festered in my mind. I’m so chaotic, but definitely predominantly inattentive. We need to break this hyperactive-boy ADHD stereotype.
Edit: I wrote this 3 years ago. I don't believe that every single individual that suspects ADHD, has ADHD. The hyperactive boy stereotype has certainly been broken. I stopped using my stimulant medication and try not to think about my ADHD - even though it of course permeates every facet of my life. The replies are heartwarming, but those that downplay the disorder as a "medicalised misbehaviour" are strange and unwarranted.
I'm 28. Was diagnosed as a kid and only found out recently. Glad your getting help!
@@duncanbug That must’ve been very strange for you, I’m happy you now know. Thank you!
Looking back it should have been so obvious! I’m the same age as @Rinelight . Every single school report I had as far back as primary school had a paragraph about how capable I was and a paragraph about how “Graham does not use his time wisely, fails to complete class work on time, etc. Etc. Etc.” I almost never got in trouble for misbehaving but every time I remember getting shouted at or scolded in school was for being “too slow”, or for “daydreaming”. But once they peg you as lazy and you’re not disrupting the class, no one stops to think “hmm, maybe this clear pattern throughout this child’s entire school life could be a problem.”
It’s an scandal how many people like us were never identified. Very glad to hear that you both found some answers. Best of luck.
Was this in India?
@@yukiedits2106 No, this is in the U.K.
It wasn’t until my daughters struggled and I read work by Sari Solden that the light went on. But in Germany noone would touch a 50-ish woman. I had to fly to the US & drive through a snowstorm with the flu, to get to a clinic specializing in adult ADHD. A cost no man would have to endure. I was a classic case. Returning with diagnosis in hand opened doors for my daughters. Dismissed & treated as stupid by the school system. They were diagnosed within weeks. It transformed their lives, they went from depressed & failing to excelling within weeks. Tucking in my 9 yr old shortly after this - she told me, “Mommy, I don’t have to be afraid anymore.” Honestly, it broke my heart to think she had been living in such fear. I am enraged and sometimes grief stricken when I think how I have struggled for decades & what I have lost. Some refer to us as a lost generation of women.
How were they able to help you daughter? Medication, therapy, diet?
My little brother was diagnosed but when my mom asked about me, the doc told her that “girls don’t get ADHD.”
You know more than a doctor ?
@@ormancadam6453 unfortunately doctors aren't trained to spot adhd that's why have to get referred to a psychologist generally the same way doctors are not also experts on eyes or teeth or funnily enough brains....
@@ormancadam6453 It sounds like it wouldn’t be very difficult to know more about ADHD than that doctor.
@@ormancadam6453 funnily enough, doctors aren’t all knowing. They’re as human as you or I, they only know what they know. And if they were taught something that’s actually false, they won’t assume so until they figure it out for themselves. UNstrangely enough, it’s highly likely that very few doctors have adhd themselves, considering to qualify requires enormous ability to focus and study. So yeah. In this instance, they possibly do know more than the doctor. I suggest you knock the idea out of your skull that any person is infallible… people in positions of authority are just people. In positions of authority.
What an idiot 🤦 some psychiatrist when i was 22, told me that "i don't believe on ADHD" is it legall to say something like that? It's like doctor saying i don't believe on heart disease
I was undiagnosed until I was 25 and I’m a male. My symptoms were overlooked cause I can honestly say not a soul in school or at home ever paid any attention to me. It’s been such a huge relief. It’s caused me to go into some deep holes. Drug abuse, suicidal tendencies, psychosis, and I never understood what was wrong with me.
We're you a quiet person in school and life?
You’re not alone. I’m a 56 year old female, and I still haven’t got the right diagnosis 🥺
@@debrajessen7975 I dont have an official diagnosis either. Though I recognise the traits to make me convinced that is the reason for why i do the things i do... or dont depending on the point of view. Also being born in '67 means that i have developed routines and workarounds to get by, at least in many ways. Filling forms can be a problem, taking weeks and months to fill them in, and then when i do they take minutes. Maybe medication would help, though at the moment i dont know how easy it will be to get an official diagnosis where i live now (which is mostly due to procrastination).
@@stewartkingsley I don’t think you can blame your procrastination alone. I’ve been going for psychiatric help for years. It seems many don’t have the time to listen and will quickly give you a diagnosis that isn’t right. In 22 years I can still count on one hand how many psychiatrists have really listened to me. Especially when they make a diagnosis and start you on meds. I think it is so important that they listen how the meds are affecting you, if they are helping at all, and if not stop or at least admit they have made a wrong diagnosis. Should you seek it, I hope you find the help you need. I have reached my limit now, and will like you, go back to my own coping methods.
"Having a head that's constantly full of noise" is something I absolutely agree with. I struggle to hold onto the things I need to do in the now and NEED to remember later, feeling like I'm holding it in a tight fist and I'm moments away from losing my grip regardless. It also mixes badly with my anxiety. It's miserable. I'm trying to get tested so I can get some meds and therapy to work on it, but it's so frustrating to live with. It feels like I'm having to sooth a cranky, clingy, and loud toddler as I try to do actual work. It's miserable, and it's making it so difficult to live life how I need to, as well as how I _want_ to.
Thanks for sharing. Do you mind me asking how you’re doing now?
@@human777 Thank you for reading and thinking of me! :) I've sustained, but I'm still looking for professional help. Mainly, I'm trying to find a therapist. I sometimes try Adderal and trying to find meds that work for me, but I still need help managing these thoughts, my ADHD and anxiety alike. I also want to go back to school, but I know I can't unless I get these things reined in. Crossing my fingers that I'll be able to get that help started sooner rather than later!
This description is spot on, it really does feel like you have a peice missing at all times, and I've known that I have had adhd since early childhood! Medication is a great tool but I recently discovered that aerobic exercise has the same effect except much stronger and lasts all day with no sleepiness when it wears off. The results for me were like everything you hope the medication will fix. I swear. Its like you mind slows down and can actually help you get along easier in general. Tons of great research into it so I would definitely check that out! Hope your doing better!
The weird thing is when someone asks are you ok and you know you should be ok 👍
Recently diagnosed. My mum came in to me the other day to tell me about a segment on the BBC she saw about Adult ADHD and was telling me how much the women here reminded her of me. It felt so reassuring to hear that these things are finally getting talked about and that the people around me can understand it a bit more.
I was diagnosed with ADHD at 5 and it's still a struggle to get people to believe me that it's more than just depression
No one cares. They have their own worries.
@@jabbadabbajew6035 edgy
@@smoogie865 Thanks Brah.
I was diagnosed at age 58. this has just about ruined my life. how could they not see all of the indicators and why was my behavior always interpreted as anger or defiance. So many counselors, years of going to various doctors with random stress/anxiety symptoms. you tell people and they tell you you need to learn to focus. you explain to your boss and all they want is to get rid of you
diagnosed in my 60s- now 74. l'd was seeing someone for depression and anxiety. No medication helps at all and I struggle to find a psychiatrist that is well educated about ADHD that also takes Medicare.
Current guy called my issues with wild emotions and tears as my "melodrama."
Same. I’m also 59 and only aware that I am adhd because of my own research online. My life is chaotic I struggle with basic tasks I was d w depression 5 years ago which was great to get on antidepressants because it helped me stop self medicating w other things long enough to research adhd.
Yep, and the anger others had toward me like when I l9cked keys in running car back in day, or the security guards at venice museum almost arresting me cause I HAD to touch that marble statue. 59 years old but indicators were there in teens. I was the ditzy blonde was all. Adhd didn't come up til nurse cowrkers started urging me to check into it. Negative from professionals though. What a disservice uh?
And coworkers dumb as rocks in better status cause they show up on the dot and appear more "calm"
This is making me cry.
I am on the waiting list to be evaluated for ADHD at age 38 (USA). My parents suspected it before me, in my adult years. My children are supportive. My son more than likely has it, I knew from Kindergarten, but I listened to the words of others and never got him tested. My daughter has asked to be evaluated as well, and I am starting to see she may be like me in her presentation, if she indeed has it. My SO said it makes a lot of sense, asked how he could help, and apologized for chastising me for things I couldn't help.
I'm blessed to have a (mostly) supportive network.
I saw a statistic that if mom or dad has ADHD there’s 40-50% chance their kids will
How do you know if small kids have it or they are just normal Kids that don’t listen and act up. My son is 4 and daughter is 5
Waiting list??? How do we get diagnosed????
@@Psalm0091 I wonder. Why a waiting list?
I've been on the waiting list for an ADHD assessment in the UK for several years and I'm still waiting. But at least I got taken seriously and put on the waiting list. This same issue with females getting diagnosed applies to AUTISM too. Awareness really needs to be raised and assessments granted for ADULT FEMALES WWITH UNDIAGNOSED AUTISM!!
I was told last week, at the age of 46, there are NO SERVICES in the NHS for adult ADHD assessments. I was told to deal with it or go private. At £700+ i cant afford it.
@@maboulton2355 there definitely is, did your gp tell you this? if they wont refer you see another gp, I got put on the waiting list last week
I had a friend, who's a psychologist, give me a formal test, which I scored highly on, and then take it to my GP to finally be put on a list... I'll be waiting 3 years I think
@@edenfraser I was told this, too, that there was no pathway for adult adhd on the NHS, by the mental health team at the hospital, as my GP referred me.
Please give up they won't help you i waited years and they cancelled on me and never got back. Don't believe that just because you're on the waiting list its okay it is not. My mental health deteriorated and no one gave a shit. In the end i was forced to pay for a private assessment and I'm still waiting for everyone to get their shit together to do a shared care plan with private and nhs. Don't waste more years i promise you it's not worth it don't gamble months and years like i did.
I kept saying it feels like my thoughts are going a million miles an hour to my gp. Diagnosed anxiety. No medication helped. I recently came clean about what I thought were personality downfalls to my psychiatrist and she said I was textbook ADHD. It's insane to think I was diagnosed at 24. Thank goodness for the awareness that's been being spread all over. Now, I feel like I can be a normal member of society, instead of a pariah.
Yeah! I thought that was interesting was that what I thought were aspects of my personality turned out to be ADHD symptoms
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was about 10. The word "chaos" could not be any more accurate to how it feels
I've always thought of myself as living in the eye of the storm. That's my home I've always felt and I've never felt safe being me.
I remember several years ago I suffered from severe depression and mental disorder. I was addicted to illicit pills, alcohol, and smoking until I was recommended for psilocybin mushroom treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly I'm 8 years clean now. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against anxiety and depression.
I remember several years ago I suffered from severe depression and mental disorder. I was addicted to illicit pills, alcohol, and smoking until I was recommended for psilocybin mushroom treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly I'm 8 years clean now. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against anxiety and depression.
Can you help me with a reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. It is very hard to get a reliable source here in New Zealand. Really need!
Yes, Sporeville. I had the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and addiction... Mushrooms definitely made a huge difference to why I'm clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He's 59 & has many mental health issues plus probably CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD knows if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on Instagram?
I'm male, 52 and undiagnosed. Something needs to change for children, women and men. Life has always been a struggle. I have struggled with depression, anxiety and my sense of identity all my life. I have been treated for depression and anxiety for 18 years, and nothing has changed. I've had two mental breakdowns in 5 years. I'm pretty sure I will have more. I've been waiting for 3 years to get a diagnosis... Still waiting 😥
That sounds really tough. Do you have a support group? There's good online ones. For adhd, ADDA is really good. Kind people with good tips.
This sounds like me 😢
Don’t give up.. I’m scared to tell my psychiatrist that I realize nothing has changed for me either except I realize I have every trait of this despite always believing it was my depression and anxiety combo.. we deserve the chance to be treated for this💯
Have you always been a quiet person? Find a psychiatrist or a personal doctor that will help you out.
I was diagnosed when I was 41, after we adopting two kids with ADHD. I noticed we did a lot of the same things, and I started to put the pieces together from there. I feel lucky that I had a therapist who took me seriously and who recommended I get tested for it. Six months later, I was diagnosed with ADHD. It made me understand why I think the way I do. It's been life changing, and its helped me heal the little girl in me who always believed she wasn't smart enough, or good enough. I now know I am an intelligent, strong woman who just thinks differently, and I have grown to love myself for who I am.
Getting adhd diagnosis changed my life even with it being later on. I always knew it but finally hearing it confirmed allowed me to accept it. Since diagnosis I started medication and it’s been a game changer emotionally, physically and professionally. I identified it in myself which is frustrating but in the end made me proud that I took control and eventually got the support and recognition I deserved. I just hope that those younger than me get the support earlier and teachers and practitioners are trained to identify early on in life to allow them to reach their full potential.
Good to know that you’re successfully managing it now. Please what medications you take and what lifestyle changes have worked for you? Thanks
I'm way too adhd-symptomatic to persist consistently enough to get a diagnosis.
I completely understand this, but this is the only thing you really need to fight for with a potentially huge change to the quality of your life. I’m on Xaggatin XL stimulants after fighting for a diagnosis for 11 months, and for medication for over a year.
The struggle to get assessed and treated is the cruelest thing. ADHD makes you put things off and struggle with boring complicated stuff, and then it’s a nightmare to figure out what you have to do and where you have to go to get assessed. Undiagnosed ADHD makes you doubt yourself and put yourself down and feel stupid, and then people turn around and tell you your ridiculous for thinking you might have it. ADHD can make waiting unbearable, and then you get put on multi-year-long waiting lists to see a psychiatrist!
Absolutely the same for me.....
@@emmawelsh5336 Amen to that! It's comforting & surprising to hear others who struggle with basic life skills as I do.
I bet you’re full of shit.
It’s not that we are waiting years to be diagnosed; it’s that we never knew enough about ADHD to even consider that was the root of our problems. I was diagnosed just last year at 45, having to go private as the doctor wouldn’t refer me and when the mental health nurse referred me psychiatry told her they wouldn’t diagnose me because I didn’t have it. They had never once had any dealings with me so how they could come to that conclusion is beyond me.
I fully agree with what has been said before. I'm 33, diagnosed at 32. Waited 1 year for a diagnosis, everything suddently made sense after I had realized I was affected.
The wait for the diagnosis was so very hard. Medication greatly helps. While the prejudice and this whole system is stacked up against women like me, I consider myself lucky to have found out.
There's further issues though. I'm a teacher. In Germany, teachers are not hired as state employees if there is some medical issue for which the state believes it might hinder the candidate to work up to pension age. Depression is one of that. Had I been misdiagnosed with that, or correctly diagnosed earlier (because there is a heightened risk for depression in people with ADHD), I might have been rejected. Teacher training here (both university and practical training) is started when 18, I finished at 27. The training is one-way and highly specialized, no other employment options than becoming a teacher or trying to get some classes accepted in one of your subjects in order to shorten your way to a second degree. That's 9 full years to get to the point of being hired before your diagnosis can be used to reject you, or only give you lower-paid / non-permanent positions.
Therefore, I am weirdly glad I haven't been diagnosed at 25 or earlier. It could have destroyed everything I've achieved. We need to stop treating with any psychological issue like this.
The system you talked about doesn’t make sense at all. Everybody can suffer from depression or any other mental health issues. If anything, this just makes people hesitant or even worse, avoidant to get the help they need. Society doesn’t suffer from depression or ADHD patients but from people who have traumas, personality disorders and don’t ever get diagnosed. I’m sure it must have been hard to study this extensively all these years with ADHD. Props to you!
@@laurau-w8 well said, hopefully the situation continues to improve.
In the US it is against the law to discriminate against someone that has adhd.
@@allfacts19What they meant is that teachers want to become Beamte in Germany, meaning state employees. They get extremely good benefits, but since they can't be fired anymore, unless they do something really bad, the state has to be careful whom to hire. If it's fair to exclude people with manageable ADHD is beyond me. There are other professions that make you be able to become a state employee, like being a soldier or a police officers I think, and they have the same requirements afaik. So it's not like someone specifically said that you can't be a teacher with ADHD, but more like you can't become a Beamter in general.
I just diagnosed last month and I'm male 29. If it's 'inattentive type ADHD, which is my case makes it hard for getting recognized. I'm still on shock and every single thing make me different from others in my entire life make sense now.
Thb, the name have to be changed to 'executive function disorder' or 'selective attention disorder' because, I could focus on some stuff for hours and hours without even thinking about anything else.
Hey there! I wanted to offer you 2 coaching sessions for free. I also have ADHD and I've found some methods and tricks to deal with it as well as lots of readings on the subject. I am now training to become an ADHD coach. I'd be more than happy to help you with what I've learned from my personal experience as well as the research. Send me a message if you're interested!
I'm the same as you in that I can focus for hours and hours on something I enjoy. How long did you have to wait to get diagnosed?
I am autistic and have ADHD but got falsly diagnosed with depression. Because depression is female in our world full of prejudices. The antidepressants sedated my lively mind to the point that I only wanted to die. Now I am free of all drugs and happy with my beautiful and creative mind of mine.
Knowledge about myself/yourself being different is key and powerfull and makes the world a better/ more colourful place.
Depression in females is world full of prejudices yet men commit suicide more wonder what that is about.
Mel on: this is because society doesnt allow feelings in boys/men.
Upbringing and education tells boys not to cry when they feel sad or have any other emotion. Men always have to be tough and show the world how strong they are. Everything is show business nowadays.
But boys/men are also humans and have the same feelings as women have. Not being able to express your feelings or not having someone to talk to can lead to severe frustration and suicidal thoughts/actions.
This works for both sexes. We are not that different from each other as society would let us think.
@@lampad4549 Most men are reluctant to seek help for their mental health struggles. Society socializes them to be that way. Even though it obviously harms them.
It's not that we wait for decades ,we are either misdiagnosed or not believed.
I was diagnosed 2 days ago. Motherhood broke the wheels off for me too. But everything they’re saying is true. I’ve been told depression and anxiety and while I did possess some of those symptoms in and at different times of my life I knew that wasn’t it. I finally feel at peace but also sad of all the things that have came to pass due to my adhd
I'm 36 and I mostly have ADD.
I really struggled to pay attention to the teachers in school. When they were giving instructions to the class, my mind would wander, and when I finally snapped back; everyone would be working and I wouldn't have a clue what to do. It usually ended with me not having produced any work and the teacher pulling me to the front of the class to scream at me. To say this situation was stressful was an understatement. Everytime the teacher started giving instructions, I would be internally screaming at myself to stay focused. Listen to what they're saying. I would be panicking like crazy. But, it just seemed completely out of my control and my mind would inevitably wander. I hated it. Because I was shouted at every single time, my classmates started bullying me as well. I always felt like something was wrong with me. Led me to have a very deep depression and self hatred. Having a diagnosis finally allowed me to overcome depression, after suffering for years.
Would just like to add, that as an adult my ADD symptoms are practically non-existent. Definitely not completely gone, but I'm more than capable of staying focused to instructions now. But, the treatment I received as a kid, carried with me into adulthood, and I hated myself regardless of the improvement. It's crazy how such mistreatment as a child, can severely affect your adult life.
Hey how are you? I also can't focus on anything since 15 years and can't say this to anyone
My life in duplication
I just got diagnosed last week, after years in therapy. At first, the psychiatrist diagnosed me with Bipolar. I took the meds, and it affect me horribly. Switch therapist, got diagnosed with depression & anxiety. It took 2 years for my therapist to diagnosed me with ADHD. I feel such intense relief when I heard it, because it explained everything. We trully need more study in adult ADHD women.
Same! For me, getting slapped with that bipolar crap was the hardest diagnosis to shake off, got it at 12 after some therapist talked to me for maybe 10 minutes. Still so pissed about 3 decades wasted on therapists, psychiatrists, counselors, who never once mentioned ADHD as a -possibility-. JFC.
US here. Just diagnosed at age 60! Third day on the lowest dose of Adderall (5mg twice a day), and the quiet it produces in my head is VERY weird.
I'm 47. I've always felt different and never listened to, for decades until now. After a year of waiting for an appointment. I have been diagnosed with ADHD. I start meds soon & although I'm afraid of change, I hope I'll finally like me & who I am.
I suspect I may have adhd. I was never hyperactive as a kid, I was the very well-behaved girl who did her homework on her own and was obedient to parents and teachers... if you contrast that to my "naughty and hyper active" brother, I was totally normal. He was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 6 years old, and he received the therapy he needed. They never even suspected about me.
But with time, I've come to the realization that I struggle with lots of things in my daily life. I look put together from the outside because I was taught that way, but in reality, I feel my brain is so SCATTERED. I'm so forgetful I have to put on alarms for EVERYTHING (take a shower, do the dishes, feed the cats, time to eat, get out of the house, study, send a project) because If I don't put on an alarm I will forget about those things. Time passes me by so quickly when I'm distracted on things of my interest. I'm also inattentive of my my surroundings, I've walked out of the house with my clothes inside out so many times, I leave the fire on when I finish cooking, I lose everything constantly... I want to be on the moment and pay attention to the things that are happening around me, but either my head is in the clouds or I'm hyper focused on a certain thing that has all my attention. People will be talking to me, and I'm not aware, or I find it physically hard to concentrate. It is like a camera lense in automatic that is trying to focus on many things. Even when my brother is the one with the official diagnosis I'm the one that is known as the clueless of the family, they say I don't loose my head because it's attached to my body.
And now that I've started to work, I find it so hard to start and finish my projects. I feel lazy, unproductive and unmotivated... but then I look around and so many people seem to achieve things so easily and I don't work like that. Ivetold my mom about this but she dismissed it saying I can't have adhd because I'm not hyperactive and I wasn't a problematic child like my brother when he was a kid. I'm questioning if I have a problem or I'm just shitty at life.
This is exactly how I've felt for years. I was recently diagnosed with inattentive type ADHD.
@@Ilikefrogs.. And me also. Tough part is I'm a senior citizen trying to survive in a world I don't understand & probably will never get tested due to financial resources & confusion about insurance behavioral issues re: coverage & approval.
You should look into the subtypes of ADHD. Like you, I was not the hyperactive kid in class. In fact, I’m constantly daydreaming. When I’m asked questions, I tend to miss the entire question and failed miserably in listening tests because every time I tried to listen, I still end up missing the entire conversation.
I did my homework but if the homework requires me working consistently everyday, I would have trouble completing it. I will wait until the very last minute before I attempt to complete it. There was also a period where I managed to forget to take my homework home and despite being whipped everyday for my forgetfulness, I still managed to forget it the next day. My school report card said that I had trouble remembering to bring my recorder to my music classes, and that my folders were very unorganized.
I was later diagnosed two years ago at the age of 35. Although my diagnosis ended up being the combined subtype, majority of my symptoms fall under the inattentive subtle. Which I guess explains why nobody ever noticed that I had ADHD. People just said I was lazy and forgetful.
This is exactly how I feel. First, I am calm and reserved. But i don't bother to cook because if I leave the kitchen I might forget. I use the alarm most times. My brain is clouded, inability to focus....i have not been diagnosed but I strongly think it's inattentive type of Adhd after doing my research on why I lose focus, and bring forgetful often.
You sound just like me 🥺 I haven't spoken to a health-care professional about it but I really want to but I'm scared
When that lady said you know it's something but you don't know what it is .... that's me everyday x
Shame the majority of men in these comments seem only interested in shouting over and mocking disabled women. Kinda says a lot about their insecurities. I hope they get the help they need instead of blaming women for everything
@Frank L pipe down? Really? With men like you quite openly showing how sexist and insecure they are, i don't need to know how s mans mind works because you're making it blatantly obvious 👍 why do men feel the need to shout over women constantly? Why do they feel the need to divert attention back to themselves? It's childish .
@Frank L youre literally on a video about women's health struggles. And still you feel entitled to tells us to pipe down. The audacity 😂
@Frank L the men i am talking about are trash talking women . Specifically disabled women. You were obviously triggered by my comment .Go trash talk with men on a video about disabled men.
They're mocking disabled women . Why go out of your way to do that knowing women don't enjoy it? You have no respect for women , clearly .
@Frank L why do you feel entitled enough to tell women to shut up about women's health? Why do you hate women? Does womens health not matter? Go troll somewhere else .Its sad and im kinda starting to feel sorry for you. Go preach your sexist bs elsewhere child 😂
@Frank L way to do exactly what she was talking about guy.
Can we repose this as -
Why do our health services fail women?
(Why do they fail people of colour too? Why is the research and treatment still so lacking?)
The current implies women fail to advocate for themselves, that they wait..
This is not on the medical staff who help and treat their patients, they are grand. If all the data for decades was based on white men, including crash test dummies for car accidents etc. They arent the default. We cant have a default person. When you have senior staff trained 30 years ago with books from 20 years prior and teachers even older who then pass some attitudes down it is an issue. There have been massive changes to this in recent decades, and of course senior staff are able to keep up to date with changes and new information.
👏👏👏👏👏
I just got diagnosed today and the amount of grief that came with getting it so many emotions
How long did it take? I’m going to contact my doctor this week and tell them my concerns and symptoms
@@annisa8863 what did they say?
I would cry doing my homework every night. No matter how much I wanted to be a good student and would try so hard I would fall short. This leads girls to believe “there must be something wrong with me.”
My son got ignored because he wasn’t boisterous and never got referred because the schools were happy for him to sit in the corner in his own world because he wasn’t smashing up the class or being violent.
When we would question the teachers as to why he wasn’t learning anything we were told it was because we were crap parents.
Despite the fact the teachers including the head teacher explained they don’t know what a child with SEND issues looks like.
Teachers also consider this to be an ‘educational issue’ and basically cause child neglect because they can’t comprehend that is a medical/physical condition which means should have referred to a grown up like a medical professional for assessment.
My son was and is let down by the ‘school system’
Hi dear ,looks like your dear son is autistic, go to an naturopathic doctor, GP's don't know how to treat autism, he needs to go on a wheat,gluten free diet ,sugar free diet and take black seed oil regultto kill the parasites he has got , because he of childhood jabs .he can have erythritol, stevia and other sugar substitutes (but not chemical sweeteners) .
I was diagnosed a few months ago at the age of 37. I was evaluated while in school however the doctors said I was “fine” and didn’t need treatment; they saw me masking my symptoms - I was surviving not thriving. I had to fight for a diagnosis and I can’t help but wonder what if…what if I’d been treated as a child, could I have avoided some poor outcomes. I’d be lying if I said I’m not furious with the time wasted.
I've been self-assessing for many years, always with the same results. However, I could not bring myself to being labeled and medicated. The stigma of this especially being a black woman, was too much to consider. Meanwhile, I struggled with EVERYTHING! Parenting, relationships, finances and just managing basic life but I had to keep it together. I couldn't look like I felt and I never shared any of it with anyone until now. I thought I was managing my life and compensating in different ways but menopause has put the breaks on my facade. I cannot continue like this. I found a PA with expertise in mental health and we begin the work next week. I'm open to medication now (at 55) more than ever before.
I’ve been there, still there actually, but I hope you’re ok and finding some help and relief 😅❤️🤗
I so relate to Sheelagh. I was 60 when diagnosed. I feel relief and regret all at the same time
this me!!! I was diagnosed at 19. I had literally been in therapy for a year or two as a young elementary school kid...i teachers telling my parents i was things like "intelligent but very disorganized" and "intelligent but doesnt pay attention" etc. Eventually in high school i had disability accommodations for standardized tests but ADHD had NEVER!! and i mean NEVER been a consideration by any of the therapists i'd been seeing for YEARS as a child and ages 13-19. It was because i was a girl. I'm inattentive and mostly hyperactive
This is incredibly useful to know, even if I think I only have mild ADHD.
67 and just diagnosed myself. All those years of desperation, forgetting, losing things, breaking things and not being organised. 40 years of non-medicated depression and anxiety, when all the psychologists, psychiatrists, ignored my traits. One psych thought I had PTSD which I'm pretty sure I do have, but ADHD on top of that made for a very chaotic life.
It’s heartbreaking that you have suffered your entire life with this disorder, and no understanding what was going on. I’m right behind you at 52. I am glad I was finally diagnosed. I am now learning so much about it and hope I can learn some skills to cope better.
i relate, esp about quacks not listening.
I’ve got the clumsy bump into things as well, just gave myself a bruise walking up my own hallway - definitely selling my bike now!
My gf has adhd it's hard to handle her sometimes but still ❤❤😊
Aww. We can be a lot to handle, but also incredibly fun & funny. Curious if you've found YT channel "How to ADHD"? There's quite a few vids about managing relationships between "brains" & "hearts" (ADHDs & The Non ADHDs who love us) & just a helpful channel all around.
Best wishes to you & your love.
I have inattentive ADHD. I was diagnosed more than 10 years ago. I didn’t like the treatment offered of amphetamine drugs. I asked how long I would need to be on them and The ADHD DR just replied “how long is a piece of string.” I didn’t like and feel comfortable with taking drugs with no end date. As I was told the drugs help with the symptoms of ADHD and does not cure it.
I still struggle with ADHD at times. But manage to cope and manage it through self compassion exercises when I get stressed with coping with it.
Great to hear than your managing well. It’s so frustrating the way providers can be so black and white; either they see drugs as the only option and dismiss other ways of coping, or they see wanting to try medication as suspect and refuse to look into it. Everyone has to fit their little box.
The medication works differently in those with ADHD brains than with neurotypical ones. In normal people, the stimulants will "rev" you up, but in ADHD people the stimulants "relax" their minds so they are able to accomplish basic life duties that everybody else does without thinking or effort.
@@athens31415 your comment has no relation to the original commenter. They don’t want to take the drug indefinitely, they didn’t ask about its effect in people with the disorder vs people without.
I always said my mother & 1 of my kids have this but I keep getting told my daughter has anxiety & depression no matter how many times I take her to docs x
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My therapist just mentioned this today, second time seeing her, I thought ADHD was for people who couldn’t get anything done but she pointed out my hyperactivity and hyperfocus to be signs….im blown away and also happy that my brain is understood some where
Isn’t it incredibly hard to get an adhd diagnosis as an adult full stop? I’ve known many lads who have a lot of symptoms and it always gets parred of as depression or as an anxiety disorder
Especially before 2016, many (maybe 90% of psychiatrists) are not trained in adult ADHD. The NHS only recognised adult ADHD in 2008 because GPs realised that children with ADHD will become adults with ADHD, they need to keep their medication etc. Gradually , maybe around the middle of last decade, adults who were not diagnosed with ADHD, were able to get a diagnosis of ADHD.
I think the maximum percentage of adults with ADHD diagnosed is 7% - 8%, it might be less than that small figure.
There is a postcode lottery . In some areas there are no ADHD service. the autism act means that nearly everywhere adults with autism can get a diagnosis. The waiting time for an ADHD diagnosis is 4 years - 7 years, maybe longer exasperated by Covid. If there is a service, only medication is generally provided, even for children.
Only a third of children are diagnosed with ADHD. The NHS, started providing childhood diagnoses in 2000.
Yup it’s seen as a disorder only children can have which is not true.
If it's been difficult for men, you can guarantee it's been more difficult for women.
It’s getting easier. You have to demonstrate lifelong symptoms - though some of the wiser docs will work with you and try prescriptions to see if you get relief. I am in Germany & it’s nearly impossible. I had to fly back to the US to get a diagnosis.
Yeah, but the media only cares about women's issues.
All of these women's stories are so important to hear. I'm about to turn 40 and believe I have ADHD. I've been waiting a year for an assessment and I'll probably wait another year at least. But at least this kind of information is out there to help me understand, process and do what I can to help myself. Thank you to everyone involved in this 🙏❤️
I disagree. I am aged 43. I received a diagnosis of ADHD in August 2020, aged 41 in Birmingham. I have dyspraxia, ADHD and Aspergers traits. Age 9, I attended an assessment there was evidence of dyspraxia, ADHD and Aspergers traits. I had a nervous breakdown to get my ADHD detected in February 2020. I was told, my ADHD was missed because I was well behaved in school, intelligent and driven. I got a 3rd from
Birmingham University aged 20. I have a postgraduate qualification in 2000. I have a poor work history. My mother was concerned about my coordination. I learned I had dyspraxia aged 23. I received a diagnosis of dyspraxia, aged 33 privately, the GP would not accept the report. I asked for an Aspergers assessment. One GP, would not allow me to have an assessment citing cost. Another GP, found a loophole closed the next year.I had a 10 minute chat with a psychiatrist he said Asperger’s traits not a problem, showing symptoms of dyspraxia and ADHD, practically useless. If I did not get diagnosed with Aspergers traits, I would not have got diagnosed with ADHD or dyspraxia.
I was told I had severe anxiety, moderate depression, mood disorder.
The system for neurodiversity / mental health is very poor . Being a female friend is a major factor, but also being intelligent, driven, non - white are other factors. I have no doubt less females are diagnosed with ADHD and autism.
When the older two females grew up, few children ( boys and girls) were diagnosed with ADHD. I
It's interesting reading others experiences. I got diagnosed an mine causes me to appear smart but lazy. It's hard to do anything requiring concentration and makes me like I don't care. ADHD for some makes us appear like the "so much potential" student.
Hey there , I'm 41 and have been on the NHS waiting list for years for an ADHD assessment. I've also realised since then that I'm definately dyspraxic and probably have aspergers too. I also had a breakdown 10 years ago which affected my health and I've never recovered, I have the most bizzarre hormonal problem where my menstrual cycle makes me mentally and physically ill all month long and no one can figure out why. I'm desperate to get a diagnosis for ADHD, Dyspraxia and Autism because not having the diagnosis affects the help and support I can get from the state. I'm thinking of having a dyspraxia assessment with an OT who said she can also assess me for sensory processing disorder an reccommend to my GP if she thinks I have Aspergers that I need to be screened for it. But reading your report of how the doctors refused your diagnosis worries me, I didn't know that they could do that at all. I was flat out refused any psychological help or assessment by my GP for the following - PTSD, PMDD, Autism spectrum and dyspraxia. I had a breakdown on the phone and left that surgery. I now have a new doctor but I'm terrified of approaching him so I've been given a referral for a mental health advocate by the charity Mind. I'm praying that I will be taken seriously, I feel desperate. Do you have any advice for me as I go through this process? I'm so g,ad that you finally got your diagnosis and I hope it has helped you to live life to the full ❤
@@amierising2188 dyspraxia is almost impossible to diagnose if not in educating, very difficult to get diagnosed on the NHS. Try genius with in . You can get an ASD ASSESSMENT on the NHS. The autism act makes adult diagnosis mandatory. Probably have to wait 1 year . Maybe find a psychiatrist who diagnoses ASD/ASD traits and ADHD !
Good luck !
@@amierising2188 take someone with you to the ADHD assessment with you. Go through your medical records, school reports, a parent should show evidence from childhood.
It can be faster to go privately, but if you are treated with medication, the GPs do not always accept the share care plan to get the NHS to pay,. If you are having an assessment for ADHD privately or on the NHS, the psychiatrist should screen for having an ASD. The psychiatrist will say you do not have an ASD, you are on the autistic spectrum but the main issues are ADHD, you have major issues caused by ASD etc . The NHS psychiatrist should talk about ADHD, ASD, ASD traits. If going privately, you should find a psychiatrist who understands ADHD and ASD. The psychiatrist will screen for anxiety, depression, my mood disorder, borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder etc . Whether the psychiatrist treats other psychiatric conditions is another matter ? Good luck ! Dr Helen Read, online London based, maybe suitable !
How long was the waiting list for birmingham?
Good BBC, need more such clips of people with ADHD, urgently
I’m 35, just got diagnosed. It’s honestly a big relief
Cheers and all support to these women for speaking publicly, thank you. So happy for you three that you obtained a proper diagnosis.
Its not because of sex, its due to the different types of ADHD. Boys also have inattentive type ADHD and do not get diagnosed. Its not helpful to make it about bias. Its about education.
Thank you
I thought I might have it since I was 14 when I found out about it. Told my therapist at the time and was completely dismissed. I was very ashamed of even thinking I could have it, like it was an excuse, but I was struggling so much and told my suspicion to the next 2 therapists I went to (btw, I changed therapists for completely unrelated issues). Also dismissed. My lastest therapist was the only one that took it seriously and directed me to pursue it further with a psychiatrist. That process was also very difficult and, honestly, humiliating. He simply didn't want to believe me. Said that it was a serious thing and people that REALLY have ADHD could barely finish school or go into university. He finally accepted to test me but was also dismissive through the entire thing. After my dad corroborated my claims and pointed things from my childhood, he had to admit it was undeniable. Got diagnosed at 21 and that's pretty early, I would say, compared to a lot of people.
Just the mental stress of trying to get professionals to even consider the possibility was exhausting! I understand that they're hesitant since ADHD has gotten a lot of attention in social media but still, why is it so hard to just listen and take us seriously?
Diagnosed at 42! Thanks to social media, that explained what ADHD really is.
It took a year and a half for an ADHD diagnosis. And it wasn't tailored to someone with undiagnosed ADHD. I had to chase up different NHS departments, at one point I had an appointment over the phone and they neglected to write in my next appointment so it just never happened. That set me back another 6 months. After I'd gotten my diagnosis I've started medication but haven't been referred on to anything like therapy or any other support networks dispite other issues. The uk mental health framework is a mess.
I’m having the same problem it so frustrating isn’t it! Glad you got there in the end. X
Yeah. I’m having difficulty accessing support for anxiety, OCD, and PTSD (I was recently told my needs were ‘too complex’ for one program so they rejected me). The NHS system for mental health is a total fractured shambles and people are being harmed by the delays ☹️
@@KatharineOsborne we have exactly the same! CPTSD, OCD. We have the same story hope you get the support you need. X
It's like this in the US too unfortunately.
Yeah I've been having to wait more than 2 years now emailed em and all I got was an automatic reply saying it was going to be in "the multiple of years" and that everyone else is experiencing the same thing and so there's no point in me calling..
I'm 55 and currently sitting with the DIVA form. I've struggled my entire life. I can't go on like this any more I'm absolutely exhausted.
Same here love 😢 Just turned 55 and menopause just exacerbated everything. I cannot hide anymore!
I'm a 23yr old woman and my GP refused to refer me/couldn't get anywhere with the NHS so I went to a private specialist clinic that researches ADHD earlier this year, which is where I got my diagnosis.
However I've had to return to NHS to ask for treatment but cuz my diagnosis was made privately/not made by the NHS I've been waitlisted to be potentially diagnosed a second time.
Something really needs to be done to scrap the stereotype, as it costed me a lot of gaslighting and people refusing to fill out forms when I was taking my assessment with the private clinic, "You can't have ADHD cuz you're lazy, you're moody and when it comes to sleep you take ages in bed" is what people told me. Even I didn't recognise I had the disorder, I believed I was a normal person who was just never good enough.
The subject of me potentially having ADHD first came up when I was in secondary school, me and my school friends laughed cuz we thought it was a load of rubbish cuz I don't fit the stereotype.
Second time was when my mum found an article about how it affects women, she wanted me to read it. I kept putting it off cuz I wasn't interested but when I did she asked me what I thought about the symptoms---to which I said "There weren't any symptoms in that article" and she answered back with "Yes there were, and it's as if this article is describing you", I got mad and shouted "No mum, I don't have ADHD!!" at her (Well those words of mine aged like fine wine 😂)
After describing myself to friends and strangers and them telling me "Sounds like you have ADHD" was when I finally started to think "Okay, maybe I do have ADHD" and sought assessment
Im 23 and a male currently getting assessed for ADHD through my university. the symptoms and my experiences with them all made sense when on my 3rd year university placement of my secondary school music teaching course, when i was talking to students with ADHD and i was like... 'Hmmm the things these students said sound exactly like me and what i was like in school and even now...' I went through primary, secondary school, college and 2 years of university and have been struggling constantly through each unless they are subjects i really enjoy, and even in those i sometime struggle with being unable to focus unless my brain wants me to, holding attention and hyperactivity (Pacing around, fidgeting, interrupting others, impatience, etc). I hyper-focused through all my exams in school, college and university, barely handed in essays on time. I forget to eat and drink, take risks all the time, impulse spending which i cant really control, its a nightmare lol Struggling a lot more with university essays as they are more sticking to the point rather than college ones which i passed with straight A's and were on topics of our choice. My GP thinks that because i have played musical instruments since i was 7 years old (of which i now play 9 of them due to switching from one to another lol) that the symptoms are a lot less apparent and have affected me a bit less than had i not played musical instruments. there has been plenty of neuromusical research about Music improving executive function which ADHD impacts, and its almost like music has made some of the symptoms less apparent. my GP put me on an urgent waiting list 5 weeks ago and it should be in the next couple weeks i'm getting my assessment :)
I have never been diagnosed with ADAH. I am 76 and found school a nightmare. I was always “different” and could not figure out why it was so difficult. One of my parents while I was teaching told me-“you do have ADAH you know.” I just scoffed not believing it. I now accept that is what I have. The one ADAH habit that drives me nuts is interrupting others. I try so hard but often find that I have blurted out once again. My son called me about two months and told me that they had had my grandson tested. Mom, he said X is just like you. It sure explains alot. My husband was so patient with me while he was alive. That poor man put up with so much. He was the one who told me that I was just as smart as anyone else but I learned in a much different way. I miss that voice of reason so much
I am not sure if any one here could give advice on this, but I'm just really panicky because I am getting an appointment with a paediatrician soon (I'm 15 almost 16) for an ADHD assessment, and they are questioning my parents. I have been thinking I have ADHD since i was 11, but i was too scared to bring it up to my parents because 1) i lied about my school life a lot because i did not want my mom to worry (i had barely any friends because everyone found me annoying) and 2) my parents are a bit.. ablest, and they view it as helping me if they make sure i DONT get diagnosed. There are emails from my past teachers talking about how disruptive i was (extremely hyper, talking too much, ''not hearing instructions'' ect , but my mother is not going to let me show them to the paediatrician and i don't know what to do because i feel kind of screwed because i really want help I'm not sure if this is possible but i feel like as I'm getting older and school is getting harder the symptoms are getting a lot worse??? also, even then, i feel like mom isn't remembering a lot of things correctly because she always used to tell me ''do you ever get tired of talking so much'' (i remember her saying this a lot because it always hurt my feelings) and now she's like ''you have never talked too much in your life'' like what do i even do is it possible to get diagnosed at this point
At your doctor’s appointment, ask your pediatrician if you can speak with them privately. Your pediatrician *will* then have your mom step out of the room, as your pediatrician is here for your best interests, not your mom’s interests. Bring the emails/evidence you have, either as screenshots or saved pdf’s on your phone, or on a USB stick. Talk candidly with your doctor about your concerns. Doctors usually have a questionnaire to evaluate patients for possible ADHD. Good luck, and I hope you find relief soon!
@@Moosielbou Thank u so much i will try to bring proof and hopefully my mom wont have to be in the room with me, i hope i can get diagnosed and get treated, thanks for your advice
@@Moosielbou I logged onto this account after a long time and looked at my yt data to see my past comments and I am going to update because it has a happy ending:
okay so i ended up being diagnosed with adhd, (YAYYYYYY) at first my parents were very angry and didnt beleive it but now they are a lot more accpeting and they let me use the medication which helps a lot :) and now I also have a friend who has adhd so we relate a lot
@@chubbydoggoonlinear2589 idk if you’ll see this but I’m so happy for you and this gives me hope
I have it too. I have the ADHD with hyper vigilance! I embrace it now instead of apologising for who I am!
Boys are also “allowed” to be more wild and hyper. Its “expected”. But when a girl does it… shes a menace.
This is me. But I'm currently being assessed for autism as that runs in the family.
I’m on the same path but I’m the first diagnosed in my family… just watching all my elders start to realise..
Male, 42.
Not only women get missed.
@House Rules looking at your other comments it’s plain to see something is up here, but we don’t need any more conspiracy BULLSHIT thanks.
If this really is the case then the entire UK medical system would need to be revamped. Since the UK is so sensitive to everybody's feelings I doubt this is really true. I don't doubt that she had a hard time getting diagnosed but I don't think the whole entire medical system is prejudiced against naming women with this issue. People in the UK love to blame others and not themselves
I've been waiting since Jan 2019 for my medical diagnosis on the NHS - I'm in law school and really struggling...
I've decided to go private- if you're blessed with money, I think this is the best choice.
@@aliciaf4744 If you do not have anything sincerely helpful to say, why comment at all? Did it make you feel good about yourself?
@@michelleroselilley4637 My intentions were sincere, but I admit that the comment isn’t written very well. Some people are genuinely unaware that the option is out there, or if they are, are hesitant about spending a large amount of money when a free diagnosis is an option. I personally think that it’s worth spending money for a speedy diagnosis, if that money is available. That is all I meant, and I apologise if my comment screamed ‘privilege blindness’.
@@aliciaf4744 No hard feelings. We are in this together 💜
I want to try get diagnosed but the possibility of having to wait years scares me
I'm a woman, I think I have ADHD and I want to go to a psychiatrist to find out if I really do have it but I'm scared of them not being considerate to what I'm saying. I've been trying to make my life work but it's simply a mess. My boss is calling my attention and he gave me a paper to sign to state that I'm aware that I'm getting late at work everyday and he talked to me about it lots of times and I'm not getting better and I'm scared of getting fired. I didn't told my mom and my dad because I don't want to feel incapable and I don't want to bother them but I already feel like a failure. I told this to my boss the other day and I cried in front of him and I said that I think I have ADHD and that I don't do it on purpose, I mean, I don't do bad things and get my work done late because I want to and he said that I could count on him but now he wants to make sure that I'm doing my job. I understand him but at the same time I feel like I suck at everything I do with my life, It's like a prison that I can't get out. I'm also in a bad relationship and I think that I'll never be able to have my own family because there's something wrong with me and Men doesn't like me. Is like I'm meant to be alone because I'm never understood by anyone. I never graduated in college, I don't like when people laugh at me for being clumsy and distracted I feel like I'm a failure and that I won't ever be able to take care of myself. I do lots of stuff to prove people from my family that I'm worthy and that I'm valuable. I'm very tired. I feel like nothing in my life works and i feel tired of doing so much but not getting nothing out of it. Even though I'm scared of a doctor judging me and not trusting what I say I know I have to do it and try and find out once and for all if I have adhd. I just want to have hope that I can make my life work.
I have worked with women in the military that have suffered from this. They are some of the best soldiers I have ran with in combat 🖤💜
It's really common in the military. The adrenaline of combat triggers chemicals in our brain that causes "hyperfocus" which ADHDers possess.
Didn't work for me and the Air Force with self-directed correspondence courses that you have to take to promote. This is the very first time I've told anyone why I really left the military
It's only partially accurate to say that ADHD presents differently in women, because it presents differently in each individual. There is too much focus on hyperactivity and behavioural problems, and almost no focus on the so called inattentive type or ADD, where there is more internalizing symptoms such as anxiety and depression. Potentially all people who experience more internalising than externalising symptoms are less likely to be diagnosed, but women are more likely to experience internalising symptoms and ADHD is stereotypically a male disorder. Why is it even called attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and not something like mild dysexecutive syndrome with emotion dysregulation?
I've just been diagnosed at 49 - I'm 50 in a few days. My GP has been fantastic (I have multiple medical issues) and completed the assessment form with me. I'm now waiting to see a psychiatrist. I've suffered all my life and it's affected every relationship, every job. I knew I was different and had hyperactivity as a child. Better late than never...
I understand that feeling relief after officially being diagnosed. You really feel better afterwards because you are validated that you have a super power !
59 years old when finally diagnosed. Cried like a baby when doctor told me that I had textbook , raging diagnosis of hyperactivity attention deficit disorder. All the negative feedback for locking keys in cars, losing everything, fidgeting, random, impulsive behavior and interrupting conversations. It's been a workplace nightmare of being picked on, one place after another . After coworkers figured out I wasn't stupid or found my compensating humor really funny(to distract from what a mess my station looks like though I know what Im doing). All the years of shrinks for anxiety, depression, substance use I got diagnosed with adhd. 59 years old. That's sad to me. Others so hard on me but noone more than myself. I'm my own advocate now. I don't bully myself or let anyone else. Finally with most of my working days behind me. What I could have done. Not done yet though. Doing some certifications, applying for better jobs, I'm not dead yet
Gosh this is so heartbreaking.
It’s heartbreaking because women are constantly dismissed, even by female doctors.
So dismissed.
This is patriachy .
@@sisfantasto7004 yeah, and once you finally have a label for your troubles, doctors ask why you tolerated it for so long…
They’re just accustomed to the hysterical, hypochondriac woman, versus the brave man speaking up.
In all fairness, men get dismissed too
So are men. They knew I had issues when I was 10. It took another 37 years and countless doctors and specialists, all sought out by me not referred by them, to get help properly. This is not a gender issue broadly, but perhaps one involving the immediate identification in youth, which is becoming more common in boys but not as much in girls.
@@lowellthomson1958 I had thought it’s not just women being dismissed.
But women are treated as hysterical hypochondriacs.
And then you have doctors that stop looking because they labelled your issue.
Jayne Grant, the hypochondriac and hysterical woman is everywhere. In 90% of medical advertisment for example.
45 now. I knew I had it when I was a young child. I was just labelled as a naughty. Throughout the years you learn to lives with it.
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Naughty kids have always existed
Self-diagnosed at 60 after a decade of being completely unable to focus on anything as I watched my 50 years of life slowly fall apart in front of my eyes.
Clinically diagnosed at age 61 years. Suddenly, the playback of my entire life made sense. I cried with relief, sadness, and hope all together.
yes, yes, yes. I found out at 58 and it all makes sense now
The title is irritating, I have been asking therapists for years for neuropsych testing..I've been on a wait list since last October.. it's not that I wanted to wait!! It's that the industry pushes back. I'm 64..still waiting for an official diagnosis.
OMG my situation!!! 47, and they won't take me seriously. "Let's up your antidepressants".
Wait? We wait for getting diagnosed?? No no no, we are IGNORED, DISMISSED and GASLIT
Seriously, how often did I have to self-diagnose because doctors did not listen, and when I did finally someone who would listen, my self-diagnosis was actually correct.
The medical world needs a huuuuuuge update to this bs!
I’m awaiting a ADHD diagnosis, whilst getting a dyslexia assessment, ADHD symptoms were noticed by the educational psychologist. This was back in the beginning of the year and I’m still waiting 🙄
Maybe you need to follow this up. Sometimes they actually loose your notes or just forget...
Lol my daughter has servere learning disabilities autism and epilepsy. She was properly diagnosed at 14 .... she was 2 when we started the ball rolling.
I've been in cmht services for 2 years now and I have light and noise sensitivities and everytime the psychiatrist writes personality traits. It can be very frustrating sometimes. Waiting to see the psychologist for over a year now
Yes the system is stuffed. I'm waiting for an autism diagnosis and have been waiting 2 years. I've moved house and thus CCGs and so go right back to the bottom of the list.
Because of medical sexism
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Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Watching this video at Xmas 22 I suddenly realised I had adhd. I had absolutely no idea before.
I got diagnosed in Feb. For me, it is the single best thing that has happened to me.
My mind wanders constantly, all school reports say I was a day dreamer and I’d just stare into space 😂
I’m glad this is being hi-lighted and taken seriously… thank you for doing this. 💕
I’m 71 and I’ve been waiting 5 years for an assessment
42 over here .. it’s been hell but I’m hopeful for once in awhile.
This is so true, unfortunately women are underdiagnosed everywhere in the world and there is still a stigma around Adhd it makes you also stop yourself from wanting to tell family or friends.
We don’t WAIT. We were told it was a male thing. We learnt to mask. We were surviving being criticised constantly for being lazy and inattentive and having excruciating low self esteem.
I have just loved every person I've seen named Twiggy. ❤
I am a female with ADHD, diagnosed earlier this year at the age of 36. Fun fact: my symptoms were never subtle, never. I am a hot mess. But still, without directly pointing doctors in this direction nothing was done about it for decades. I finally had enough and went to a private psychologist specialized in ADHD (Germany, you normally would not pay for that yourself).
for years i was reassured that i was just doing too much,,,that i had a lot on my mind ...or just need to slow down and get organized
That's awful. Telling a person with ADHD to get organized should be considered hate speech. I feel physically ill every time someone neurotypical tells me that.
Diagnosed aged 10. Now at 27, I am finallt beginning to understand how it impacts my life
Help the poor people 😢Help the poor people 😢
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She is right. I am a female, and I always had the boy type as they say of ADHD and it’s really hard to deal with.
There are also different types of ADHD.
Yes there is. But all fall under the general ADHD umbrella...
Yep and having it in Childhood, it can still remain into adulthood.
I've only just been diagnosed this year and I'm now 22. My parents tried to have me tested when I was little but the doctors wouldn't agree to it because I was well behaved in school
Got mine at 27, here in america and my mom still acts like I don't have it.
I have struggled with terrible memory, impulsive behavior, identity issues, social anxiety etc. for most of my life. Now that I am beginning to see I struggle with adhd mixed with anxiety & depression (although more anxiety) I hope I can find a pace that allows me to fully realize my dreams without giving up every time things get hard. I want to live life like a ‘normal person’ which I consider everyone else except me.
So much push for meds. Not every person with ADHD needs meds. Some just need a change of environment. Our society expects us to “perform” in a certain way. Like sit on your tush all day long in school without moving to “learn”. Those with ADHD can learn very large amounts quickly while moving, doing, and being outside in nature. Society is training us to work “for” someone else to accomplish their goal. Stay in line, sit, be quiet, listen, obey, arrive right on time. “And if you have trouble with that? Get meds!”School systems train us then push us to go to college to get a “career” working beneath someone. Then we get a “job” with a boss expecting us to be inside all day repeating this same oppressing pattern as adults. “Still having issues? More meds!”
Ever think that maybe the problem is NOT you? Not everyone was created to live this way. Those with ADHD are highly creative and cover so much ground given the right environment. Set yourself free from the “system”. Get off that merry-go-round taking you nowhere. Get out into nature, into the country. Grow food. Get some animals. Start something uniquely your own. And don’t give a darn what society says about you. You only have one life, live!
Good luck with that when cost of living is so high middle class will be wiped out in next decades.
We are all fkd.
i have inattentive adhd and i was born a woman and I’m so goddamn lucky. my assessment started in mid June and i was diagnosed two months later. I feel so awful for all these people, being in the dark for *decades*