Getting a Restraining Order… Against your Mother

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  • Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
  • FYI: All my content comes with a trigger warning.
    “She is forbidden to call me, send me messages and if she arrives within 200 meters, I can call the police”.
    In this video, I interview Bella from Brazil where she shares her story of prolonged psychological abuse and captivity at the hands of her parents and how she successfully obtained a restraining order against her mother.
    Bella’s legal team referenced one of my UA-cam Videos “Proof your parents know they’re abusing you” as part of the case evidence. • Proof your parents KNO...
    My other video mentioned here is “How I cut the parents and siblings out of my life” can be viewed here: • How I cut the parents ...
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 29

  • @DeniseConde-u6h
    @DeniseConde-u6h 8 місяців тому +4

    This is a beautiful attribute to all the family scapegoats. I too went zero contact 4 years ago and had my attorney send my mother a letter to cease all her attempts at communication with me and my children while using my oldest sister (flying monkey) to reach out as well. This letter was enough to make her stop. If she hadn’t, I would’ve used the full force of the law to get a restraining order as well. Congratulations Bella!! Much love and healing to you and your family! ❤

  • @michaelsager5688
    @michaelsager5688 8 місяців тому +5

    It's wonderful to see one of us speak up and be heard! This video makes me so happy! Bella is such a courageous person. Thank you so much Bella for sharing your story with us!

  • @dianepetzold1523
    @dianepetzold1523 8 місяців тому +13

    What a gift to the world that Bella shares her story and Mary you are so kind. I think so many people will feel less alone hearing this, I know I do. Big hugs to both of you

  • @RationalNon-conformist
    @RationalNon-conformist 7 місяців тому +2

    Be so safe and stay away from these monsters. I am now installing cameras around our home, an alarm system, we also have a dog, and a weapon for protection. I’ve noticed how strong scapegoats are, strong and Brave! Stay safe, move if you have to, and keep your children safe from these kind of monsters. Great Job Bella!

  • @_ross5800
    @_ross5800 Місяць тому +2

    So happy for this wonderful woman, she's truly an inspiration.

  • @GGVanilla
    @GGVanilla 7 місяців тому +1

    This was so powerful. I listened to it yesterday and I’m still thinking about it. Bella is a wonderful soul.

  • @NM-gy6tx
    @NM-gy6tx 7 місяців тому +2

    This is what narcissists are like. Really lovely to the outside world but to the daughters (and sometimes the husband) utterly vile. My mother was a narcissist she died last September. I've been watching your videos and can relate to so many things. Interestingly on the day of my mother's funeral (and for a few weeks prior to this I'd been thinking "should I go?") I had the worst cold and almost couldn't go! But I did. I'm still not free as I still have a toxic family and husband but things are better. Somewhat better. Not completely better.. but better. Thanks for sharing your story xx

  • @melliecrann-gaoth4789
    @melliecrann-gaoth4789 3 місяці тому +2

    Brave Bella- well done. Mary you are helping so much

  • @maryfowles807
    @maryfowles807 8 місяців тому

    This was triggering because it reminded me of the relentless isolation and mind games I also experienced. I hope she’s doing ok now.

  • @LeiraHP
    @LeiraHP 7 місяців тому

    They r the ones who start to destroy u in every way & then say u dont deserve or u cant have good thgs because u r destroy, but they say it like that destruction was always there in u & u can never get out of it because u r flawed, because they were the ones whom made this state came to u. They were the ones who destroyed u & then they blame u for the job they did,like it came from u. & they will tell u more, than u could not really fix it or at least not much because it is within u that is defective; but is actually themselves destroying u from beginning non stop, no living an area of ur life free of their actions of destruction, so that u can never shape yourself into anything good, because they will came after any attempt u do for ur well-being, & undermine it.

  • @MaryFaulkner-r3k
    @MaryFaulkner-r3k 4 місяці тому +1

    She has been markled or a markler

  • @AngolOnlineMagyarorszag
    @AngolOnlineMagyarorszag Місяць тому

    It was a really helpful and moving story, however, I missed hearing Mary say ANY comforting words, any responses of sympathy throughout. Very strange. I’m really sorry for what this lady had to go through and I think she needs reactions like that instead of the “yes and could you”s and “exactly”s. Show more compassion towards your fellow sufferers please. You come trough as cold and very detached from feelings or emotions. And no it’s not mean or trolling or anything. I want to see your feelings are felt and not killed forever due to narcissistic abuse.

    • @HomeFromFarAway
      @HomeFromFarAway 29 днів тому +1

      She sounded supportive to me. Not condescending or trying to "make bella feel better" but in this case I don't think that was what either woman was interested in. It was about accurately conveying Bella's experience, not about doing therapy or consoling her

  • @MaryFaulkner-r3k
    @MaryFaulkner-r3k 8 місяців тому

    Both are psychologists!
    Both have fierce problems with their families
    Hmm

    • @infplife1637
      @infplife1637 4 місяці тому +1

      Mary is not a psychologist. What does Hmm mean?

    • @MaryFaulkner-r3k
      @MaryFaulkner-r3k 4 місяці тому

      @@infplife1637 oh
      What is Mary then?

  • @MD-vb1hq
    @MD-vb1hq 8 місяців тому +14

    Sending so much peace to Bella.
    I secretly moved across the country, and they still found me. I was granted a restraining order against my mother and father when he showed up, pounding on my door until the police came. It was the most peaceful year of my life. Since it has expired, my mother mails cards, sends "gifts" through delivery by my local grocers, and sent my cousin to my door to tell me he moved nearby. Thankfully, getting away from them only makes me stronger.

    • @RationalNon-conformist
      @RationalNon-conformist 7 місяців тому +1

      Unfortunately, if you rent, you would have to change your legal name to be able to remain private. If you own your own home, before purchase, you would need to hire a lawyer to purchase the home under an LLC or trust, and even then, you would need to use a different name, or, use a private mailing company to mail you things. It’s very tricky. I moved across the country too and I’m worried they will find me.

    • @oppressednolonger1497
      @oppressednolonger1497 5 місяців тому

      holy bleep. I had one of my birth-bearers come close to doing similar but seems put off by the idea of having a keen sense of my rights and the law. Luckily. what a bloody psycho to continue to send things to you when you have ended it, including a flying monkey to a GROWN ADULT. stay safe. get cameras, start a neighbourhood watch if you can. Just wow. We truly ought to lobby to include psychopathic parents under their very own special category and fight to get it into the DSMV to keep people safe from these vile predators

  • @elizabethdarley8646
    @elizabethdarley8646 8 місяців тому +6

    Excellent, thank you, Mary.
    At the inaudible part at 41'27'' Bella says " The flying monks" and I think she means the Flying Monkeys which is a term I recognise from the adults who were raised by people with narcissistic behaviour and that these parents use flying monkeys to assist them to continue the violence to the scapegoat.
    Best wishes,
    Bess in Yorkshire

    • @elizabethdarley8646
      @elizabethdarley8646 8 місяців тому +2

      PS Mary, do you see evidence of the so called authorities in the UK making positive supportive and justworthy progress for Childhood Family Scapegoats today please?

  • @fuzbugg
    @fuzbugg 8 місяців тому +5

    It was really beautiful and inspiring to listen to someone who took very serious action against abuse that many people don't take seriously but of course is deadly. a wonderful role model for standing up for yourself.

  • @DevonExplorer
    @DevonExplorer 8 місяців тому +6

    That was such an amazing interview and a big thank you to Bella for sharing her story. That last bit of advice is brilliant. Thank you, Mary. :)

  • @Erehtolleh1
    @Erehtolleh1 8 місяців тому +5

    Congratulations to Bella!!! Thank you so much for sharing!!!! (At minute 41:27 she says "the flying monkeys")

  • @thebeboshow4421
    @thebeboshow4421 8 місяців тому +6

    Best wishes for your future Bella! Thank you

  • @alexacarenati
    @alexacarenati 8 місяців тому +3

    Amazin piece of psychohistory. I just wish things didnt have to go that far before the soiety noticing, reporting and taking action. This story has endded up with a restraining order only because it was so obviosu and extreme (within the 'psychological ' torture category). What about the majority of mure subtle and hugely perverted abuses that only go unnoticed because the parents are artists of covert abuse and manipulation? This mother's ability to mistreat while going unnoticed was quite poor, but most of the psychological abuses are committed insuch a subltle and strategic way, that they are nearly impossible to prove.
    Thank you so much for this vide, it gives me optimism.

    • @HomeFromFarAway
      @HomeFromFarAway 29 днів тому

      I agree. I also wish this option was available for men and in other countries. I think the burden of proof should be reasonable to prevent some of the more toxic members of families from using the law against a scapegoat, but it definitely needs more availability and awareness

  • @mimiglimmer
    @mimiglimmer 8 місяців тому +2

    A heartfelt thank you to you Bella for your courage to share your story and stand up to the abuse. And thank you, Mary for creating this platform to share and expose the darkness and evil for what it is. Peace and blessings to you both!