Thank you ladies. It always amazes me how generation upon generation of dysfunction is passed down. Kudos to the cycle breakers. It comes at a cost but worth it.
Thank you so much for what you have shared! I wish there had been somewhere or someone for me to turn to for help when I was a child but those options were not available to me at that time. I've sure learned a lot in the last year.
Thank you Mary Toolan for your hard work. This is what has happened in my life. I have been recovering & trying to develop my sense of self for nine years. You can imagine the frustration & pain.
Walking empty at 5:46 is: Schizoid empty core When child has no contact with reality, no contact with other people - the child feels estranged from his own life. The child has no self, no functioning self. He has identity disturbance. He has fragmented self. Self states. Pseudo-identities. He doesn't have central core. There is emptiness instead of core, we call this the schizoid empty core. This child feels he doesn't exist. When you don't exist, you can't have life, you can't own your life. Unable to inhabit his own life. This child become adult who retreats into familiar modes of infancy and remains fixated there. Leads to concept of inner child. Child like element inside us. IFS Model. Construct of inner child to induce healing. Sam Vaknin
@10:00 I know I am not bad now but because I no longer do, it no longer matches the family view and that now is the problem. It's sad to see this extended to other unknowing family members. You have to be bad so they can justify how they treat you. Going no contact is simply many times the only way with your new (and more accurate) view of one's self. Good video.
I think children in toxic families also tend to 'choose' to believe they are bad, because they need to maintain attachment, through maintaining the belief that their parent is good. We literally cannot afford to think otherwise, when we rely on them for our very survival. How on earth can I be safe, and cared for, if I truly accept that my mum was bad? It is tragic, but it 'easier' for us to shoulder the idea of ourselves as bad, rather than our parent. We also live with the shame of having done this, and so it's vital to address this as we move out of the abuse and into our recovery.
![It’s okay to hate your parents [TABOO]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Ne2ELyGC5DM/mqdefault.jpg)
32 years olld and still living in this situation and hate it here, no way out since I am too broke to afford to move out.
it hurts me everyday.:(
Gosh I appreciate these videos so much. So much rings true. So many emotions. Thank you so much for helping me and others heal 🙏
Thank you ladies. It always amazes me how generation upon generation of dysfunction is passed down. Kudos to the cycle breakers. It comes at a cost but worth it.
You 2 are awesome 😊🔥🦋
Thank you so much for what you have shared! I wish there had been somewhere or someone for me to turn to for help when I was a child but those options were not available to me at that time. I've sure learned a lot in the last year.
3:04 The egg has content-fresh and vital vs rotten and stagnant.
Thank you. Amazing video.
No sense of self and designated as the “scapegoat”. Still
Thank you Mary Toolan for your hard work. This is what has happened in my life. I have been recovering & trying to develop my sense of self for nine years. You can imagine the frustration & pain.
I wish you would give examples of what happened instead of all the vague stories.
I recently found out my parents married in six weeks … my mother is a narcissist. Nightmare growing up with a mother who can’t love.
Walking empty at 5:46 is:
Schizoid empty core
When child has no contact with reality, no contact with other people - the child feels estranged from his own life. The child has no self, no functioning self. He has identity disturbance. He has fragmented self. Self states. Pseudo-identities.
He doesn't have central core. There is emptiness instead of core, we call this the schizoid empty core. This child feels he doesn't exist. When you don't exist, you can't have life, you can't own your life. Unable to inhabit his own life. This child become adult who retreats into familiar modes of infancy and remains fixated there. Leads to concept of inner child. Child like element inside us. IFS Model. Construct of inner child to induce healing. Sam Vaknin
Get your ticket for the Cycle Breakers Summit here: toolanm.krtra.com/t/3MnDkzto5WYf
@10:00 I know I am not bad now but because I no longer do, it no longer matches the family view and that now is the problem. It's sad to see this extended to other unknowing family members. You have to be bad so they can justify how they treat you. Going no contact is simply many times the only way with your new (and more accurate) view of one's self. Good video.
I think children in toxic families also tend to 'choose' to believe they are bad, because they need to maintain attachment, through maintaining the belief that their parent is good. We literally cannot afford to think otherwise, when we rely on them for our very survival. How on earth can I be safe, and cared for, if I truly accept that my mum was bad? It is tragic, but it 'easier' for us to shoulder the idea of ourselves as bad, rather than our parent. We also live with the shame of having done this, and so it's vital to address this as we move out of the abuse and into our recovery.