@@n.c.pictures damn that's true. I literally have no idea what's going on with the government 100% of the time. Don't get me started on the feckin bridges man...
Once, the fire alarm went off, and after the school was allowed back inside, they told the boys to stay behind. Apparently it had been set off by someone vaping in the men’s restroom. All the dudes were muttering and smirking like what usually happens when we’re to blame for causing trouble. The euphoria I got from that was hilarious. I was like FUCK YEAH we’re in trouble. Fuck yeah I use the men’s. Fuck yeah I’m under suspicion
Idk why the feeling of getting in trouble at school makes me feel so masc. like I should probably be nervous cause my Asian parents would not be happy with but also like, I feel so excited???
@@jaybek7707 yeah it probably has to do with the fact that people who are afab are expected to be well behaved while guys are expected to get into trouble. it's kinda problematic that it happens but I cant change my childhood lmao
perfect description. removing these sexist attitudes for normal human behaviours and not classing them as masculine/feminine would alleviate so much pain. I really feel for trans people experiencing both misogyny and misandry and having these awful complex triggers, it seems like it’s worse if you’re in the USA as there is a more scrutiny and fixation on gendered appearance.
i get dysphoric whenever a youtuber or tiktokker i watch says what percentage of their viewers are what genders and they have a higher percentage of female viewers
This reminds me that there was a time when my mom and I were the same height (and we both talk a lot with our hands) and my brother was just the wrong height. For months we were constantly elbowing/hitting him in the face
I'm a (straight?) cis guy who clicked on this out of curiosity, and I completely forgot about this entire chapter of my life, but I was mistaken for a girl a lot when I was a little kid (big eyes, long curly hair) and some of these resonate with me like crazy. For years I would hyperfixate on not crossing my legs or putting more weight on one leg than the other, and not knowing a ton about fishing/cars/sports still bothers me. Some other weird ones were being barefoot, singing, those t-shirts with the sleeves that have the stripe and the shoulders that puff out like the shoulders on a princess dress, chapstick cause it made my lips look shiny, and wearing a long shirt under a sweater cause I got scared that it looked like a skirt. Crazy stuff man. If you relate to any of those lmk lol.
nah dude cuz fucking same but im a gay trans guy 😭😭😭😭 reading these comments has been so interesting, especially seein so many different cis guys-just like you-being honest n sayin that they worry about the same things!! it makes me incredibly sad first of all, becuz like,,, damn were /all/ dealing with these things that shouldnt be gendered but /are/, and it just wouldnt be a problem in the first place if our world didnt revolve around gender n such so heavily n aggressively,,, but i also just,, this is like ,, a level both cis /and/ trans men can stand on, and obviously we both struggle with it,,, one of the best ways to understanding and accepting other ppl different from yourself is having the same troubles, the same weaknesses, the same soft spots, yknow?? its like a trigger for empathy, and /some/ part of you has become open to listening, whether you know it or not,,,, maybe some day this will become a talking point that /all/ men can connect over, no matter their agab, and perhaps in result, reduce transphobia,,, idk, just thinkin out loud lol
@@aidenx1397 all men try and be "manlier" at some point in their lives. It's coded into society, and maybe someday that'll change and anyone who doesn't feel like they're meeting that quota will be able to rest easy. Until then, 100% agree dude, we gotta just be open about this stuff. It would be so much easier to grow up as a cis boy, and I can imagine a whole hell of a lot easier to transition if there weren't as many requirements that had to be met to be seen as a "real man" whatever that may be.
As a bio-anthropologist, my job is literally to tell archaeologists info about skeletons, sexing skeletons is super hard. Even if you have the most 'female' pelvic opening there is like a 1 in 4 chance that we'll sex it wrong. The reason you always hear those stories about skeletons of warriors being sexed as male and then re-sexed as female is we actually suck at our jobs. It's easier to tell what your diet was like in childhood then to sex a skeleton, especially without a pelvis. I had a prof who did a study where he compared chromosomally typed skeletal remains with the same remain skeletally sexed and it was like 25-35% incorrect.
did a sexing lab in an archaeology class and the euphoria I felt after getting all of them wrong and being told that that was completely expected skdjslkdkj
I’m trans & on the autistic spectrum and a lot of the time my brain just refuses to gender things so gives me relief from my dysphoria. When other people gender things it usually really confuses me
My ex girlfriend was non binary and did the same thing. I am have ptsd and to feel more comfortable just gendering everything as female (like plants, all my plants are hers) and she got soooo confused when I told her about my plant that wasnt doing well and saying something like "oh, Hanna isnt doing well, I think I need to put her somewhere with less sun" and she was just like "??? What?"
@@myrkflinn4331 I mean we’re all different that’s why it’s a spectrum. I’ve also experienced people writing off my being trans because of my autism but those types are a minority
I feel dysphoric if my hands are above my waist. If I'm holding a cup or my dog's leash, I'm like "Men don't hold things????" Also sitting down, and my thighs look bigger.
I don't know if it'll help, but just imagine some '70s or '80s office worker guy or boss, undoubtedly they will be holding a coffee mug on a Monday with a tie over a very boring and bland but professional shirt I could not think of a more traditionally masculine thing
Also dw! They get it wrong at least 30% of the time anyway with ancient skeletons, there's practically no way to tell and they usually do it based on stereotypes
I'm going to have my pronouns, gender, name, and the fact I'm trans etched into my fucking bones when I'm buried, just so future archeologists can't miss the hint
@Caro Lin it would be more accurate to say people assigned female at birth can have biological babies and people assigned male at birth can't, because many women actually can't give birth and many men can
I am a GNC trans man so it's hard to relate to most of these (pretty happy about my body except for my actual female parts) but I totally felt the "having my chest be referred to as female terms" Never call my chest boobs, tits, breasts, whatever else. It's so gross to me and I'm sure many trans men hate that. It also words for my lower area as well. I don't even like referring to it at all, just pretend I am a Ken doll down there.
As a GNC trans man, after some months of hrt I almost have no dysphoria, but I now do when girls ask me to go with them to the girl's bathroom. Like, not even if the men's bathroom is full and I just get to the girl's bathroom. Only when I am asked for it
I'm fine with most "gendered" terms for chest and genitals because my partner liberally uses them as well (cis amab). He'll just randomly go "our tits look bomb today" and I'm suddenly just..."fUCK YEAH THEY DO"
Whenever I’m watching criminal minds and they’re describing a teenage girl’s rooms like “teenage girls tend to have brighter decorations and stuffed toys on their beds. Teenage boys don’t.” And im like, wait, I have stuffed toys on my bed... but I’m a teenage boy... goddamnit. I’m too feminine... fuck. Gets me every time.
Teenage boys tend to not do it because of shame (collective bullying, their friends would mock them for it when they're visiting and playing video games in their room) but there are cis guys who DGAF enough for various reasons and persist in it anyway. Some of them because that bullying doesn't work on them, some of them because they are in some nerdy subculture where guys in general aren't ashamed of fun plushies (e.g. nerdy webcomic fans, pokemon fans, anime fans, germ plushie collectors, bronies, etc) Edit: to clarify, when I said anime fans I don't mean body pillows, I mean actual plush figures of various characters and mascots.
Not dysphoria, but a euphoria trigger. I'm MtF, and despite having no large changes in weight, and never weighing more than 60 kg: I've developed stretch marks on my sides and back, and my mind just associates stretch marks with being feminine ig, so I just feel so nice knowing that they're there.
as a trans guy with stretch marks on my lower regions I’ll happy hand mine over to you 😫 it’s not so much the stretch marks themselves but where they are located on my body that makes me ANGERY 😤
wait me too i was just think about this last night like wtf would i do they would just keep calling me a woman the whole time i was dead and few people would ever know
As a transfemme one of my weird euphoria triggers is jean pockets, men’s pockets don’t tend to have cutesy designs and stuff while women’s pockets do (at least sometimes). I remember the first pair of women’s jeans I wore had a heart design on the pockets and I couldn’t stop smiling for like ten minutes after I first put them on.
Ooooh, that sounds like something I would like! So far I've just been wearing skirts because skirts are much more forgiving in their sizing, and I've been buying online because I'm too chicken to go to a store and try stuff on. But eventually I should get myself some women's jeans. I like things with cutesy feminine designs!
I think it's interesting that you like women's pockets because for a lot of women they're such a bother I'm a trans guy and as soon as I got my first pair of men's jeans I was like "Woah, so this is how the other side lives???!!"
There is nothing more infuriating than being a trans male with a twin brother. I compare everything about us, he's taller, has a deep ass voice, it fucking fucks with me so bad
As a trans woman, I get dysphoric from doing the yard work and working on my car. I was an Army mechanic and we had female soldiers in our unit but it just makes me feel like my neighbors are watching me and being like, "yup that's a man right there." I also know plenty of cis women into cars and obviously they do their own yardwork lol.
@@anthonnyvaquedano792 Yeah like you know for a fact that growing ANY muscle takes weeks of rigorous excercise and diet but the thought still lingers there.
I don't want to be insensitive, but there's always going to be people that will judge from afar (no matter if you're trans or not). Others will literally not care or notice anything wrong. I remember this woman walking down the street and I casually thought "wow she's dressed nice and she's really pretty and tall". My mom next to me in the car nudged towards her and said smth like "See that? That's a man." and I was more appalled that my mom would say that than at the trans woman (I assume). I was speechless from my mom being so judgemental and transphobic. So don't worry, you don't want to have those kinds of people in your life anyways. Keep being you and keep your head held high and people will see your confidence before anything else!
I get this, but the other way around. Im a trans man and it gives me soooo much dysphoria to do those things cuz I was never taught how so I feel like I constantly look like I have no idea what I’m trying to do. And in our society, men are supposed to know how to do that. It makes me feel better that I can chock it up to me being gay lmao but my boyfriend is like THE handy-man so I don’t really need to know how to do anything 💁🏻♂️😂
I am a trans man and I get what you are saying I hate washing dishes when we have people over cause I know they are going to say what beautiful and good daughter you have ahskbasbabsj
AGAIN there is no masc or fem way to write. My grandpa writes like a victorian queen and my grandma writes chicken scratch. Don’t worry about that fam 😤
My handwriting is considered of atypical messy guy or person band I've sent cis dudes write like beautifully legendary but they behave like peasants. It's indeed stupid to gender writing
Oh my goodness, this is the most relatable video I have EVER seen. My weirdest dysphoria trigger is probably hugs. The way the person kinda presses up against your chest and usually has like an arm near your hips... ughh. I literally either refuse hugs or just hold myself as far away from my arm as physically possible and then the other person just thinks I hate them or am an anti social freak... which I mean I am..
Hugs dont seem so weird as a dysphoria trigger, when you are pressed against someones chest you get to feel to much about what the other person has or does not have. When i got hugged before i got super aware some people were very flat (i envied them) and i was not (made me sad af). Im now flat and i still dont like being hugged tho
Weird things I get/used to get dysphoric about: -preferring tea over coffee -the month I’m born in -being studious -the toppings I put on my sandwich -being around my girl friends (feeling like I’m one of them) -being around my guy friends (not feeling like I’m one of them enough) -being a vegetarian -the type of music listen to -being punctual -being gay -the way I hold my phone -the way my desk looks
When something I, a gay trans man, like is memed as being a way to identify lesbians - "If you like Hozier you're probably a lesbian" that kind of thing
I feel you so bad my man- I was talking to my lesbian friend and she was like “lmao wearing a flannel is the epitome of lesbian culture” *me, looking down at my flannel* “ahahah never thought about it like that”
I tend to avoid feminine female characters but I avoid overly masculine male characters as well lol. The super macho muscles and tree trunk necks set off my dysphoria just as much
uhghhh same. So fucking annoying because I want there to be more female representation in games, but whenever there is any I'm like hahah not for me though not allowed.
Pregnancy and baby related ads trigger my dysphoria for the exact opposite reason, cause I can’t give birth and those ads always makes me unbelievably sad.
im assuming you're nonbinary but i get this same dysphoria as a trans man. the "lady's stuff" will fit me better and it ALWAYS LOOKS NICER AND FITS MY STYLE but i feel wrong if i dont buy the "mens' stuff". i wish there was a neutral option too.
@@xollefi7418 I'm actually so shocked at this comment, I always felt like the "for her" section is a cheaper made, higher priced, pink colored whatever compared to the "for him" section. I mean its either that or the only difference is the color or design. Honestly most gendered products are all trash and are completely non binary products 😂
people can fit their hands in their mouths?? oh dear i cant at all and i have tiny tiny hands. i have a jaw condition but like that makes me realize more how bad it is
Ha I can fit my hand in my mouth too! I never attached it to gender stuff but once I took a picture of my fist in my mouth in dark lighting and it looked like an entire toast
this video has made me realise how being trans affects a person so much more than I previously realised. like, I knew it was a massive deal and everything but this just sounds so exhausting.
I agree, I'm cis and have a couple of trans friends, I thought dysphoria meant they felt disconnected from their bodies and that causes them frustration, anxiety and other issues. I had no idea it was that broad and that my friends could be overthinking every gender stereotype they fit or don't want to fit. Now I understand why it's so important to use the correct words with them (with all of you, in general). Now I wonder if cis people on social media (and a couple of celebrities too) who are trying to degender stereotypical stuff, like guys wearing dresses and skirts and painting their nails or girls letting their body hair grow, could help trans people with their social dysphoria 🤔. Idk, it's something that I've been thinking, hope it makes sense and doesn't sound like some cis savior shit. Any feedback is welcomed
@Locust Hypnosis For me it's like, that very much helps, but the dysphoria comes more from "the outside people" (for lack of better terms, those who don't understand why wearing skirts and growing your hair should be normalized). So seeing these celebrities bring awareness on them doing this and it doesn't effect their gender at all, helps me in a way to expose the neutrality to others and help them understand. Main idea: Obviously it is great to see that representation for me as mirror, but it is also great to have representation as a window - for those not in my position to see through and understand people like me.
I have autism, and for some reason I lift my pinky when I drink tea, water, milk, coffee, or anything else. It makes the dysphoria brain go crazy, even though my cis dad, uncle, and grandpa all do it too
One time I was sitting in my bedroom and my brain was like "is this a boys bedroom? You have posters and shit on ur walls that's not a boys bedroom!!" Literally what tf does that mean brain.
@@nikolasslead6582 not a problem for me, my room is never clean. But apparently being a nerd and expressing my nerdiness with posters and banners is somehow not masculine to my brain???
I got some stuff from family form when I was younger and pre transition and some is more girly and I got stuffed animal s still. When a dude once shared he loved animals ( cis dude adult age) I felt a bit better lol and he actually cuddles them
I hate my room man, my house is super old so my bedroom is pink and has flowers all over the walls and ceiling, it looks ok but it's the kind of room you'd expect from a grandma, also got curtains with a floral pattern. My saving grace are some painting that look badass and a gothic style closet, plus all my stuff, but it doesn't really help with the color issues.
@@ke9147 what do you mean? If a trans guy is gay, he’s into men. If a cis guy is gay, he’s into men. In both cases they are gay men. It’s not that complicated.
Same thing happened with me and my ex Turned out she completely disregarded the fact that I was a trans guy so that she could fulfill whatever weird fantasy she had-
Wearing a binder actually makes me dysphoric,,, I’d rather pretend they’re not there than have something pushing up against me all day. Plus I’m not flat enough with a binder so then I get extra upset, like “wow even a binder won’t make me look masculine enough” so I just don’t wear one. Can’t wait until I can get enough money for surgery 😔
Glad I’m not the only one. My dysphoria is more social than physical. I occasionally have bursts of physical dysphoria however, like when I’m on my period or having something pressing on my chest
Oh mood, I'm nonbinary and I've given up with binders. It hurts worse when I get "ma'am"-ed in a binder than it does when I'm not binding, if I'm gonna get mistaken for female anyway I might as well be comfortable :T
Honestly, the “being around lots of women” one is relatable. It just feels like I only have female friends because they just see me as one of the girls, and whether or not that’s the case, it hurts. Could also be why, despite my bisexuality, I’m more interested in getting a boyfriend than a girlfriend.
my birthname is a month. so i get dysphoria for an entire month, just being constantly reminded of my birthname. i also get dysphoria from wearing binders, oddly enough, cause i can feel the material against my chest, and im afraid people will look at me in my binder and be like "yeah, youre still a woman, no matter how hard you try to hide your body."
I think my oddest dysphoria trigger is being mlm. I’m Bi and lean more towards men and I’m constantly having to convince myself that finding men attractive isn’t a feminine thing.
Use the cis-het logic against the dysphoria. Men are supposed to be manly, what's more manly than loving another man? If a man loves another man that's so manly. (Warning may have adverse side-effects, cis-het ideas are strange and dangerous)
Things that don’t fail to make me feel dysphoric: my family (specifically my mom) making uncomfortable jokes towards my body, poking my chest, and making sex jokes 🙂 Gotta love living with conservative “Christian” parents
Oh dear lord I get that My dad in particular makes a lot of comments about my female-ness that wouldn't be the same if he saw me as his son. Ex. Insisting on being chivalrous, constantly talking about me being "married off", threatening to kill any boy who looks at me, etc. But my brother (also trans) sometimes punches me in the chest, which hurts but is excellent for erasing chest dysphoria.
Your dog MOST LIKELY still knows you're you. You probably smell roughly the same. Like, a dog recognizes someone after they go through puberty and you basically went through a second puberty. So, I would guess that she knows you're you.
Dogs are really smart and love their humans so much. I'm super confident that they still recognise the same person, especially if they saw them during their transition. Maybe if someone the whole transition away from them and then came back a lot different, it would be a little more confusing for them, but I think even then they'd probably still know who they are.
Yeah I'm sure she knows, after all dogs definitely still recognise people that get hormonal changes, like they still recognise people during and after pregnancy, they still recognise people after menopause, they recognise children that go through puberty, they recognise each other if they get neutered and so on. Your dog probably noticed the change, probably didn't really understand why you started smelling slightly different but also probably didn't care since you were clearly ok (also the change would have been gradual and I'm sure that helped in her adjusting)
Hey as a trans masc person with a brother, I don't hate him. He started puberty before me and his voice dropped and I got upset, ofc. But he is the most supportive little brother. But now I am on T and catching up :) 5 months now! He is still supportive and does shit like "let me check leg hair" just smacks my leg and goes "man!"
I have 5 brothers- I don't hate a single one cause I'm trans-masc and they're cis, I always felt (even when I was egg) that I was just one of the boys and that always gave me SOO much gender-euphoria even if I didn't know why 🤔
i grew up with an older sister, i used to think that i would never start the same puberty as her and just suddenly hit puberty with testosterone. when my chest started growing she pointed it out to me and ever since i've never looked at my body with the same hope and happiness i used to as a kid. now i have severe chest dysphoria and have to wait many years before i can actually transition (no i'm not a kid just not of legal age and considering the fact that i'll have to save up for it it will take a while) and living in a family that IS seen as having mostly girls when my mom mentions having a "girls night" i either feel left out because i'm not a girl but then remember that she still sees me as one and most likely is adding me to the night which gives me even worse dysphoria.
I was riding a horse. And I didn’t have a binder on. And my dysphoria sacks were bouncing up and down like an anime girl’s. and my boss commented on how I was becoming a woman. And I just got really sick to my stomach
Oh jeez that would suck- Any time I do activity or even walking and i'm not wearing something underneath i'm aware of them bouncing all over the place and it makes me so uncomfortable, also dysphoria sacks is very accurate
@@alexmackrell1385 she’s a girl but yeah, it’s in the past so I don’t really care. she was looking at my posture while I was riding, but it came off as weird and made me, 🪑uncomfy🪑
7:15 I'm a trans woman and I have a sister who's almost exactly 2 years older than me. While we were growing up I was literally looking at the puberty that I wanted to have but never got, at least not until I started HRT 4 and a half years ago. I should mention that although I was jealous of my sister growing up I do still love her and we're very close as adults.
My dead-name is a name of a month, and every year I have to live through everyone saying my dead-name all the time, referring to the month. It gives me a small heart attack every damn time.
Yeah, as a ciswoman my voice goes higher when talking to strangers/ on the phone. I think it's just what humans do... Or maybe it's the anxiety of the situation. I don't know. But it just happens. All the time.
Many men do the same (myself included). My theory is that it's to do with unconsciously trying to sound more actively invested in the conversation while being more aware of your inflection. Like how when you're being lazy and unbothered you tend to speak in a lower register. I kinda feel I come across as rude or cross when I just deadpan my voice on the phone. Does anyone know if there's an actual explanation for this?? I'm curious now.
i worked at build a bear for almost two years and by the end the “talking to small children” on top of the standard customer service voice, i sounded like fucking minnie mouse so i feel this
I'm a gay cis guy and 1. all of these things made me question the masculinity of my own behavior (it's not just trans guys that worry about their masculine images! for real), and 2. It made me think about things i say and do that might inadvertently trigger dysphoria in trans people around me. It's important to think about this stuff, so thanks 💙
Tbh, I don’t personally put on lotion for my legs because they don’t feel particularly dry and with all the hair it feels a tad unpleasant-but it was a post-shower ritual for my ex cis boyfriend. He was hairy as anything as well, and very much the “bro” type.
Same and as FTM... For me, also clean shaven legs too and any product that as a sweet smell cos it's always associated with females purely. And the flowery sweet smell I mean here
Glad the umbrella one is in here. There’s this viral tweet that goes “I wish I was a girl so I could use an umbrella” and I know it’s stupid but I always think about it
Once I had an umbrealla with me, but I walked through the rain with it in my hand, because 1) other guys had no umbrealla; 2) it was green and with birds. Nobody asked me about that, but I know it looked really weird
That doesn't make sense. I'm in college level science and that has never been told to me. I think your teacher is just bad at science. Sort of like when a teacher thinks trans people don't exist.
The weirdest part of all of this to me is as trans female a ton of this stuff from trans males resonates with me from when I was hiding. Stuff like get your hand off your hip and stand up straight you look like a girl or stop waving your hands around while you’re talking you look like a girl. Weird is being in a men’s restroom and having to sit down to do the business that everybody has to do sitting down and then not wanting to pee until I can stand up and turn around and do it that way because otherwise it might sound like I’m a girl. Dysphoria be like double edged sword with candle burning at both ends
@Earl Jones I wasn’t born male or female. All the exterior bits look male, but I have internal female parts that changed my hormones. If you’re just talking about physical sex of a person then I’m either neither or both. Nobody will ever know who I am better than I do anyway, so isn’t it silly to chase definitions?
@Earl Jones i’m not clear why you’re saying it’s not accurate. What I just said is that I am physically intersex. I identify as trans female because externally I appear male even though it’s more complicated than that medically. If I were to jump back to your original statement I would have to say how does that relate to me in this context.
@Earl Jones for one thing you don’t know that this is true. How could you know unless they say and I didn’t say until the point came up. For another I never said they were connected. My point is that saying if you’re born a female you’re female you’re male then your male whatever you’re born is what you are is irrelevant. In other words saying what you said in your original comment and knowing that you’re correct in saying that in this context would require you to give somebody a physical exam. When you consider that this is obviously true it puts one in the position where you have to recognize that one cannot practically be dogmatic about this issue.
7:18 i'm an only child but most of my closest friends are cis guys and knowing them since around/before the start of puberty, hearing their voices drop n shit really gets to me :")
In my English class this year we are covering the book where my mom named me after the main character. This is gonna be real fun having to see my deadname every day because she's literally the main character.
omg yes, I was also named after a book character and I want to read the series bc I know it's rly good but like I also don't want to see my deadname every sentence. I thought about choosing the male love interest's name but it has kind of an ugly sound and doesn't fit me, and also would get shorted to an extremely common name which I don't like so.
ohhhh my god. the mention of water bottles triggering dysphoria unlocked this weird ass memory. at primary school (so like 4-11 yrs), all the boys would tilt their water bottles to the side as they drank from them (like rather than it going straight in front of their noses it would cover one eye) and it made me so self-conscious about how i drank water in an un-masculine way so i altered my drinking habits to do it in the “boy” way. i changed how i drank w a t e r !! wtf??
Bruh what fr this made me anti-feminist back in like 2015 when that was "cool" and i was well on the alt-right pipeline because I thought feminism and social justice was all like TERF shit and just for girls 😭😭 wish I'd just realised it was dysphoria and found trans spaces first but I was too busy being an edgelord lol. Even now when people talk about misogyny specifically I have to peace out because it gives major dysphoria
As a straight guy this video is interesting to me bc all of the triggers are either weirdly specific things that nobody would really notice or something that is only really exclusive to a stereotypical man, which admittedly must be annoying in areas where these stereotypes are more heavily enforced societally
funnily enough, the thing that helped my voice dysphoria was learning other languages! For instance, in japanese, men have a higher pitch than in enligsh, so I keep my english pitch when speaking japanese to make myself feel more masculine :)
I have no clue if this makes this better or worse, I thought if anything not eating enough would be a "female" thing because as a presenting fem who's skinny, I get so many comments about my body and how girls should be skinny and that bs. I mean that's just a whole lot of issues combined in one :/ I hope your dysphoria realizes how dumb it is, you're hella valid
12:50 I have a gender neutral compliment that I got from my band director. *Snazzy* He always says we look snazzy in our band uniforms before concerts as a little way to boost confidence.
I have two younger brothers. I started T one week and one day ago. I was born in 2003. My eldest younger brother, is just now a freshman. Watching them BOTH grow taller than me, deeper voices and beards has been hell, and its been harder on me in terms of getting bigendered, because before puberty hits, we've all looked very androgynous - even feminine (we dont usually cut our hair, i was the only boy of the family to do so lol) so normally no one would say anything, but now that im inches shorter, and several pitches higher, its become hard. Im glad im on T when i am. Its taken me years and years, but soon i will be able to say i am adult man, with a name that feels like ive known it a million lifetimes before. Its bad, but its getting better. besides, all 3 of my brothers have always been supportive, and my family doesnt enforce gender roles and never really has. Both I and my oldest younger brother dressed up in princess dressed. But we were more prone to play matchbox cars together. And we didnt have much money, so i wore hand-me-downs from my older brother all the time. I wouldnt have traded the experience for the world at the end of it all, because i know they are there for me. And we are brothers. I wonder, if it has been painful for them too.
i feel you man ): as the 5’5 older brother watching my younger brother grow to 5’10 has been painful to say the least…especially when extended family always comments on how big he’s gotten but doesn’t have anything to say about me 😞 we will make it through
I'm the eldest of two younger brothers, (my baby bro is like 4 rn) my middle bro started high-school and is 14 and you're right when it's pain. I feel so envious and jealous especially since I won't be able to take hormones till I'm independent from my family which could take ages
Ftm here, I'll trade your habit of sitting with legs apart for my habit of sitting with my legs together and contorting them into the weirdest, most hypermobile shape possible
Honestly this is such a dumb societal thing bc having a more typically 'female' shaped pelvis probably makes it more comfortable to sit with your legs apart, if anything
Things that make me dysphoric: -Liking girls/Being perceived as a lesbian -Liking guys/Being perceived as a straight woman -Liking people for their personality/Just being fucking pan and thinking a personality is hotter than a body. Like, do I need to be a douche to love myself?
As an NB, mine is definitely flying. It's because where I live the government hasn't caught up with NB existing, so all the tickets have Mr./Miss/Ms./Mrs. prominently before the name.
Same bro 🥲🤚 I got two older brothers (whom I hate) one of em kinda looks like me and although he’s ugly fodjdobi I still feel as though that could’ve been me :0 and the other one has a deep as voice and as someone with the highest and most feminine sounding voice- it just kinda sucks ig idk but hang in there losjdoddjdp Lmaooooo
Saaammmmeee. My little brother is kind of a 'phobe, so he always gives me weird looks when I try not to sound feminine. I frking hate it because, around him, I can't even be myself. I feel like I have to play straight/cis just to keep him comfortable around me.
I also have an older brother. He normally doesn't trigger my dysphoria except when he walks around shirtless. Then my brain goes fuck, I could have had that. The same goes for his height. He's relatively short by men's standards, but he's still taller than me
I used to be taller than my younger brother for years, then he’s suddenly become like too damn tall and my 5’4 ass is constantly wearing my 3 inch heels to try and combat it but I’m still too short and I scream
During a heated argument, my father mimicked my "feminine" gestures and voice, which gets higher pitched when I'm upset. It has scarred me, and I still get dysphoric over this mere thought. Weirder one, writing a word in all caps makes me feel dysphoric. Thanks for posting this video. It helped, in a way.
@Gamer I’m so sorry to hear that, that’s awful. Don’t feel like you have to change yourself to prove her wrong though; that was just a bitch move from her :(
Man that really sucks. I'm cis and don't experience dysphoria, but I do often feel ashamed of exhibiting "feminine" behaviour because of assholes like your dad. I changed my laugh, the cadence of my speech, the way I gesture, walk and hold myself because of it when I was going through puberty.
im enby and being reminded of the fact that i have a physical form makes me soooo uncomfortable, not to sure if it's dysphoria or not Edit : i have since found out that i am a trans man but i do still feel like this sometimes
your dog knows it's still you, I'd guess. I'm faceblind (dogs presumably lack the human facial recognition software) and recognize people by body language and so on, and someone transitioning wouldn't make me not recognize them.
This is so interesting so many things that are gendered without realizing it. I’m a cis female engaged to a cis male and I look pretty feminine and he looks extremely masculine but we have the opposite kind of personality’s. I’m stern and loud, he’s soft and quiet, I drink espresso, he drinks fruit smoothies, I’m a fighter, he’s a lover, I’m pretty unemotional, he’s sensitive, I drink whiskey he drinks fruity cocktails, I watch action movies and he loves romantic comedies, He was in band and I did martial arts and man does the list go on. A lot of people mix up our drink orders and shit because of the “unspoken gender rules”. Then to just throw another wrench in “normal gender” stuff we both like cars and ballet, we go straight from the dance studio to the auto parts store. Some days we are building cars and fixing up houses and other days we are facemasking and doing pedicures.
This is just precious! Like a huge FU to the norms. I bet it must be infuriating at times and maybe even awkward in some situations. But I'd just take such pride in proving people wrong with their expectations! If not out loud, at least quietly by myself. It feels so bad to think how many people postpone happiness and pleasure just because some invisible rule tells us it's not okay to enjoy certain things.
Most of these sound exactly like the "am I masculine enough" anxiety I go through (the way I hold cups, moving my arms too much, being too expressive in emails, how I sit/cross legs, how I stand). I'm a cis man.
I'm cis, but I really struggled with identifying as a "Man" for a long time after puberty, it felt like that was a word that described people who had jobs and wives and cars, and not incidentally also looked like they were advertising for Gilette. Oddly I never felt concerned about whether I was *acting* manly enough and I even - I swear without thinking at all deeply about it - bought women's clothes (tasteful, rustic or weird rather than Womensy I guess) a few times for parties (years later though, I am slightly annoyed I never tried drag lol). I wonder now if I'd have come to identify as nonbinary if the option had come up - as it is, I just kinda buried it.
my weird dysphoria triggers: wearing an apron, having stuffed animals, art, how I sit/sleep, how I hold hands with my gf I have 4 younger brothers. they're all going through (or have gone through) the right puberty the 1st time. it's hard
I wear an apron at work and it used to bother me. I saw something on TV with a cook...he was wearing an apron. I kinda had a weird 'bing' moment where my brain said 'aprons are not feminine...they mean you cook' and now...I even wear an apron when I cook at home, and yes, I probably look a little funny but hey! It keeps sauce off my clothes while I make supper.
@@OhioWolf94 the apron dysphoria is not because I think only women wear aprons. it's because my hips/waist/chest are getting accentuated (or at least I think they are)
@@percygladwell1511 Ah, I guess I feel ya on that end. At work it tends to be 98F to 110F in our kitchen so I dont think anyone notices anything else hahaha. (the joys of baking lol)
So many of these are so relatable. I'm pre-op and even pre HRT but I got clocked as male at my new job, and now I'm hyper aware of all my mannerisms (pun intended) and if I'm acting like an actual guy on a crew of all men.
one of mine is being called handsome, because I think of handsome as a square and masculine man, and when people call me it I either feel like I’m being treated like a little boy or like people are trying too hard to validate me because I don’t actually pass
There’s a song I love that I sing along to like every day in my car... but one line is “I’m a controversial lady” and I physically cannot get the whole line out
9:57 I once forgot to put my name on my paper and the teacher was asking whose it was. “It looks like a girls handwriting” You could tell she felt so bad 😂
I felt really broken when guy from my courses, who is younger than me, became higher with voice much deeper than mine. I joked about his voice cracking, but it was just too painful to accept. I feel bad about this jealousy, because all my cis friends are good persons and they deserve to look like greek gods, but I just can't stop crying, huh
Hits so fck hard, it feels like I watch them move, but have to stay still myself. Many ppl mention how ur teen years and young adulthood r meant to be so great, but I always feel like it's just being wasted and I'm missing out. It feels like years r passing by drastically fast.
When I write in my journal, I say “dear book” instead of “dear diary” bc that shit makes me so dysphoric ik that’s kinda weird Edit: (thx so much for the likes & comments guys! y’all r funny lmao)
13:47 no because my dad deadass says only women and children should use umbrellas. now it’s an inside joke between me and my sister, if we do anything masculine we say “i’m a manly man i don’t need an umbrella or anything”
As a nonbinary person, sometimes things just feel gendered even if they aren’t at all and it’s wild. It’s more names though, because I’m still looking for name suggestions, and someone will say a name that’s meant to be gender neutral, and I’ll feel like ‘no that name’s male or female not neither’ Edit: So turns out I’m just a dude and my name’s Teddy now :)
I really struggled with my name (I'm nonbinary as well) eventually I just went for the simplest name I could find that I consider to be a gender neutral version of my birth name (my preferred name is Ell)
Ok but is it just me or do names like Blake, Drew, Alex, Brooklyn and Hunter feel STRICTLY male, and the names Riley, Bailey, Taylor, Avery and Jordan are STRICTLY female???? Like I get ridiculously pissed off when they're recommended so I just said screw it, my name's Plague 🙄🤌
When I was picking my name, I realised that Spencer from iCarly and Spencer from Pretty Little Liars were different genders but they were both my favourite character so I was like YOINK that's my name now 😳
It’s so interesting to hear the different things that make people dysphoric. For me, most of my dysphoria dissipated when I came out as nonbinary. Although passing as male when I’m nonbinary came with a bunch more dysphoria associated with the fact that the vast majority of people read me as male and don’t even question it, even when I’m actively wearing a they/them pin.
I plan to get to a they/them pin. People constantly read me as female because of my body. Loose fitting clothes isn’t physically comfortable on me, but I don’t wear extremely tight things either. I want a binder so badly, but I’m afraid because I have asthma. 😞 I legitimately want to scream at people when they use gendered pronouns for me...but I silently just die inside and begin to question myself as a non-binary person. I wish people saw us as who we are and not just our parts.
for me it's weird cause I'm an enby but I'm also masc leaning. so I wanna look masc enough so that I look kinda like a boy but I wanna look fem enough so people get confused when they see me (but I never wanna be perceived as a girl). I get euphoria from nail polish and earrings, both of which are considered "fem", but it somehow makes me feel more masculine. for clothes I'm fine with fem bottoms but I hate fem tops. Tge clothes in question also have to never hug my body. the clothes also have to be in a dark palette or it makes me dysphoric. also I'm fine with putting my hair in a bun or in pigtails, but not in a ponytail(which somehow feels more fem than pigtails??). I love makeup but it has to absolutely be dark. piercings in general give me euphoria but they have to be simple rings/studs (I cant stand decorated/cutesy ones unless they're earrings). every shirt I wear has to be boxy and hide most of my arms. I cant wear those stupid fitness clothes that are made out of that weird material. I have so many things that give me euphoria and dysphoria and ngl it's kinda hellish tryna figure it out
@@hideakisorachi3953 omg! I'm so similar to you! I'm very comfortable with fem bottoms (but very specific ones), but not so much for the fem tops(also very specific, must be loose). I absolutely have to have short short hair, I love coloured clothes, and no makeup at all. I enjoy jewelry, but only if it's simple, not too femimnin. It's very complicated! It's actually reasuring to see someone else having a disphoria as complicated as mine.
My brother is 6yo and seeing his very boyish childhood and having toys and having friends who are boys makes me irrationally jealous. I don't hate him, but sometimes I feel like I don't want to be around him or hear about his day because it makes me feel bad or like I missed out on childhood experiences I should've/wished I had
the deadname part is so true though. i feel so awkward even talking about fictional characters that have my deadname bc my dysphoria thinks that the person im talking to will ~ psychically sense ~ that the name is connected to me somehow- or in the case of talking to people who know my deadname, that they'll comment on it. thank god it's not a super common name at least.
There's a podcast series and a indie videogame coming out that I want to get into, but they both have my deadname in the title and I can't bring myself to consume that content.
yes! and I make myself even more dysphoric by whispering myself: why did you even react to it? *deadname* is not ur name, no connections. u shouldnt feel anything bout it, u dont know that name.
I feel awkward talking about real people whose real name happens to be the same as my sister’s deadname. And it’s a very common name!!! Luckily most people with that name use a nickname that my sister never did, but the full name is just awkward to say.
It's funny, I can wear tank tops, but it all depends on the cut/fit and the color. I have two identical ones that are completely the same except for color. The black one makes me extremely euphoric, the white one gives me dysphoria.
i'd love to see a version of this for weird euphoria things. for example when i burp, like hella loud, it's disgusting but i'm still like... :) im so cool now :)
“yeah my weird dysphoria trigger is _______”
my dysphoria: *WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN*
SAME
ikr
Mood-
and the teachers were like “write that down”
SAMEEEE
To all the trans people feeling self conscious about talking with your hands: simply move to Italy, we all talk like that, we got your back!
Let's goooo
Tbh I think that's the only reason I never had an issue with that specific trigger. My whole family does it so it's not gendered at all in my head
Or Latinoamérica
No, please don't. Politics suck. The roads suck as well. Especially the bridges.
@@n.c.pictures damn that's true. I literally have no idea what's going on with the government 100% of the time.
Don't get me started on the feckin bridges man...
Once, the fire alarm went off, and after the school was allowed back inside, they told the boys to stay behind. Apparently it had been set off by someone vaping in the men’s restroom. All the dudes were muttering and smirking like what usually happens when we’re to blame for causing trouble.
The euphoria I got from that was hilarious. I was like FUCK YEAH we’re in trouble. Fuck yeah I use the men’s. Fuck yeah I’m under suspicion
Idk why the feeling of getting in trouble at school makes me feel so masc. like I should probably be nervous cause my Asian parents would not be happy with but also like, I feel so excited???
FUCK YEAH! I'm the prime suspect! Fuck Yeah! I'm getting charged! fuck yeah. I'm being arrested! Oh fuck.
Dude yeah. Must be that whole “Boys Will Be Boys”
@@jaybek7707 yeah it probably has to do with the fact that people who are afab are expected to be well behaved while guys are expected to get into trouble. it's kinda problematic that it happens but I cant change my childhood lmao
Oooh nooo this is sexist? And men can go to jail for being angry? 😱 What an eye opening statement.
i swear sometimes dysphoria is just spicy sexism 💀
literally the perfect description
💀💀💀 this is so funny I definitely have this spicy sexism against myself…”self-spicy-sexism” 🤡
@Aram🇵🇭 hahaha that's a yikes
@@whatthefucklmaoWhen I got my first job at a convenience store, they gave me a job in the kitchen. It made me feel pretty dysphoric at first 😂
perfect description. removing these sexist attitudes for normal human behaviours and not classing them as masculine/feminine would alleviate so much pain. I really feel for trans people experiencing both misogyny and misandry and having these awful complex triggers, it seems like it’s worse if you’re in the USA as there is a more scrutiny and fixation on gendered appearance.
i get dysphoric whenever a youtuber or tiktokker i watch says what percentage of their viewers are what genders and they have a higher percentage of female viewers
this!!!!!!
SAME
but why is it *true*
MOOD
Omg same. I'm basically anything with statistics on characteristics and behavior. Or getting an ad that's female related.
Dysphoria is like that one r/arethestraightsok guy who's like "MEN, IF YOU DON'T HAVE A BEARD, YOU'RE A WOMAN"
Well you're definitely not wrong and I like this perspective
dysphoria is just the straight jock friend that you don't know why you keep hanging out with
FR
I herd one topics voice 😂
This is 100% accurate and how I see it
just so everyone here knows, my (cis) dad moves his hands so much when he talks he smacked me on accident one time
this is so fucking funny😭😭
So do I but that's because I'm latina lol
This reminds me that there was a time when my mom and I were the same height (and we both talk a lot with our hands) and my brother was just the wrong height. For months we were constantly elbowing/hitting him in the face
I feel bad for laughing at this
Thats happened to me too 😂
I'm a (straight?) cis guy who clicked on this out of curiosity, and I completely forgot about this entire chapter of my life, but I was mistaken for a girl a lot when I was a little kid (big eyes, long curly hair) and some of these resonate with me like crazy. For years I would hyperfixate on not crossing my legs or putting more weight on one leg than the other, and not knowing a ton about fishing/cars/sports still bothers me. Some other weird ones were being barefoot, singing, those t-shirts with the sleeves that have the stripe and the shoulders that puff out like the shoulders on a princess dress, chapstick cause it made my lips look shiny, and wearing a long shirt under a sweater cause I got scared that it looked like a skirt. Crazy stuff man. If you relate to any of those lmk lol.
nah dude cuz fucking same but im a gay trans guy 😭😭😭😭 reading these comments has been so interesting, especially seein so many different cis guys-just like you-being honest n sayin that they worry about the same things!! it makes me incredibly sad first of all, becuz like,,, damn were /all/ dealing with these things that shouldnt be gendered but /are/, and it just wouldnt be a problem in the first place if our world didnt revolve around gender n such so heavily n aggressively,,, but i also just,, this is like ,, a level both cis /and/ trans men can stand on, and obviously we both struggle with it,,, one of the best ways to understanding and accepting other ppl different from yourself is having the same troubles, the same weaknesses, the same soft spots, yknow?? its like a trigger for empathy, and /some/ part of you has become open to listening, whether you know it or not,,,, maybe some day this will become a talking point that /all/ men can connect over, no matter their agab, and perhaps in result, reduce transphobia,,, idk, just thinkin out loud lol
@@aidenx1397 all men try and be "manlier" at some point in their lives. It's coded into society, and maybe someday that'll change and anyone who doesn't feel like they're meeting that quota will be able to rest easy. Until then, 100% agree dude, we gotta just be open about this stuff. It would be so much easier to grow up as a cis boy, and I can imagine a whole hell of a lot easier to transition if there weren't as many requirements that had to be met to be seen as a "real man" whatever that may be.
totally relate
Don't bother learning about fishing. It's cruel to the fish, and being mean to animals is, like, the lamest thing you can do regardless of gender.
just goes to show, theres nothing more manily than being insecure about your manliness
As a bio-anthropologist, my job is literally to tell archaeologists info about skeletons, sexing skeletons is super hard. Even if you have the most 'female' pelvic opening there is like a 1 in 4 chance that we'll sex it wrong. The reason you always hear those stories about skeletons of warriors being sexed as male and then re-sexed as female is we actually suck at our jobs. It's easier to tell what your diet was like in childhood then to sex a skeleton, especially without a pelvis. I had a prof who did a study where he compared chromosomally typed skeletal remains with the same remain skeletally sexed and it was like 25-35% incorrect.
Thank you, this is reassuring to hear. Because after reading that comment I was developing a new fear I never even knew I could have 😭
But according to transphobes it is 100% accurate.
I'm not trans but this makes me happy. Terfs always try to use this argument.
Person- is this skeleton male or female?
Other person- why is it in your basement?
did a sexing lab in an archaeology class and the euphoria I felt after getting all of them wrong and being told that that was completely expected skdjslkdkj
“Speaking of hips. Yours are so wide. Because you’re a woman” the looking at the camera during that made me feel under attack ngl
SAME 😟
I’m trans & on the autistic spectrum and a lot of the time my brain just refuses to gender things so gives me relief from my dysphoria. When other people gender things it usually really confuses me
My ex girlfriend was non binary and did the same thing. I am have ptsd and to feel more comfortable just gendering everything as female (like plants, all my plants are hers) and she got soooo confused when I told her about my plant that wasnt doing well and saying something like "oh, Hanna isnt doing well, I think I need to put her somewhere with less sun" and she was just like "??? What?"
haha, relatable. At those cleaning ones I was just "well, I just feel autistic when I obsessively clean"
I also got autism and idk... Sometimes I over gender and sometimes not at all. When not, I'm usually in a good mood
@@myrkflinn4331 I mean we’re all different that’s why it’s a spectrum. I’ve also experienced people writing off my being trans because of my autism but those types are a minority
mood
I feel dysphoric if my hands are above my waist. If I'm holding a cup or my dog's leash, I'm like "Men don't hold things????"
Also sitting down, and my thighs look bigger.
oooff yeah thighs are a big one for me and it also triggers my body dysmorphia for some extra fun
I don't know if it'll help, but just imagine some '70s or '80s office worker guy or boss, undoubtedly they will be holding a coffee mug on a Monday with a tie over a very boring and bland but professional shirt
I could not think of a more traditionally masculine thing
big thighs look good on everyone don't worry bro
this is so so real and “men don’t hold things????” is killing me
"Men don't hold things" lmao
I get that
that skeleton one about archaeologists digging up my skeleton is part of why i'm being cremated lmao good luck gendering dust
Transphobes would probably try to come up with a way to gender dust like "This one is fine and powdery, It must be female!" lmao
Well imma call that a vibe
Also dw! They get it wrong at least 30% of the time anyway with ancient skeletons, there's practically no way to tell and they usually do it based on stereotypes
Tis a Phoenix who hasn’t revived yet
I'm going to have my pronouns, gender, name, and the fact I'm trans etched into my fucking bones when I'm buried, just so future archeologists can't miss the hint
“Speaking of hips, yours are so wide, because you’re a woman” nooo that one hurt oof
The audacity
“Look at that high-waisted man, he got feminine hips”
@Earl Jones Out of all the reasons, I don’t think hips are the main one lmao
@Earl Jones I was trying to play the straight man
@Caro Lin it would be more accurate to say people assigned female at birth can have biological babies and people assigned male at birth can't, because many women actually can't give birth and many men can
Mine is colored socks. If they aren’t black, my brain goes, “wow those are some real FEMALE LOOKIN FEET”
I feel this so much. Like “green socks? Nah fam stay with white or black socks”
Same, which dont help bc nearly all my socks that still fit me have some patterns, not even necessarly feminine but STILL
s a m e
tip to help - check out the socks of male guest stars on late night shows. many of those dudes wear super colourful socks with their dark suits
THIS IS THE ONE
I am a GNC trans man so it's hard to relate to most of these (pretty happy about my body except for my actual female parts) but I totally felt the "having my chest be referred to as female terms"
Never call my chest boobs, tits, breasts, whatever else. It's so gross to me and I'm sure many trans men hate that. It also words for my lower area as well. I don't even like referring to it at all, just pretend I am a Ken doll down there.
SAME
Same
As a GNC trans man, after some months of hrt I almost have no dysphoria, but I now do when girls ask me to go with them to the girl's bathroom. Like, not even if the men's bathroom is full and I just get to the girl's bathroom. Only when I am asked for it
@@tiredcatman7381 wow does hrt really do that for you? I can’t wait to start that sounds amazing
I'm fine with most "gendered" terms for chest and genitals because my partner liberally uses them as well (cis amab). He'll just randomly go "our tits look bomb today" and I'm suddenly just..."fUCK YEAH THEY DO"
Whenever I’m watching criminal minds and they’re describing a teenage girl’s rooms like “teenage girls tend to have brighter decorations and stuffed toys on their beds. Teenage boys don’t.” And im like, wait, I have stuffed toys on my bed... but I’m a teenage boy... goddamnit. I’m too feminine... fuck. Gets me every time.
bro criminal mids' "gender studies" with the writing and shit makes me soo dysphoric but i love the show sm and it sucka
Its not even "teenage boys don't tend to have these" it's just "they don't".
Teenage boys tend to not do it because of shame (collective bullying, their friends would mock them for it when they're visiting and playing video games in their room) but there are cis guys who DGAF enough for various reasons and persist in it anyway. Some of them because that bullying doesn't work on them, some of them because they are in some nerdy subculture where guys in general aren't ashamed of fun plushies (e.g. nerdy webcomic fans, pokemon fans, anime fans, germ plushie collectors, bronies, etc)
Edit: to clarify, when I said anime fans I don't mean body pillows, I mean actual plush figures of various characters and mascots.
EVERYONE DESERVES PLUSHIES. THAT'S IT.
Sounds like a shit show to me
Hands moving when you talk? You are not feminine, my man, you are Italian and you don't know it yet.
Love from Italy
MatPat would agree
🤌
True
Why am I amused by this?
Agreed compare
If you get pee dysphoria just grunt loudly so people assume you are having a manly bowel movement
Very manly
sigma grindset
🤢
big brain- just hold it forever and ever, unless you are at home alone
true, everyone knows girls don't poop, there's nothing more manly
Not dysphoria, but a euphoria trigger. I'm MtF, and despite having no large changes in weight, and never weighing more than 60 kg: I've developed stretch marks on my sides and back, and my mind just associates stretch marks with being feminine ig, so I just feel so nice knowing that they're there.
as a trans guy with stretch marks on my lower regions I’ll happy hand mine over to you 😫 it’s not so much the stretch marks themselves but where they are located on my body that makes me ANGERY 😤
@@masonthejar8890 I'm so sorry! I'll happily take them!
I've never heard someone associate stretch marks with something positive, that's so sweet!
I'm a pre-T ftm highschooler on the swim team, pretty self-explanatory
Ouch that... ouch
Oww
felt, i had to quit swimming
@@carmesan_cheez Damn
I quit at the end of eighth grade to avoid having to go through that now I'm physically unfit
One of my weird dysphoria triggers is feeling cold, shivering, etc.
Fellas, is it gay to maintain homeostasis?
Same! And I'm not that cold generally, I'm usually underdressed compared to most people but I often get cold feet or cold hands and I hate it
@@gferraro2916 that hard...im happy this doesnt trigger any dysphoria in me(?)...because my feets are always cold
YO SAME 🤣 i'm like "ugh if i was cis i wouldnt feel cold rn 😤😤 "
No homeo
Shit maybe
weird trigger: thinking about dying before i transition fully and having to die in this body and looking like this on my funeral.
Mate, literally same! I rather be cremated so my damn body doesn't get found out by archaeologists and misgender my skeleton
And before I get my legal name change so my grave would say the wrong name for the rest of eternity
wait me too i was just think about this last night like wtf would i do they would just keep calling me a woman the whole time i was dead and few people would ever know
I swear to god, if my family buries me in a dress.
Me too
As a transfemme one of my weird euphoria triggers is jean pockets, men’s pockets don’t tend to have cutesy designs and stuff while women’s pockets do (at least sometimes). I remember the first pair of women’s jeans I wore had a heart design on the pockets and I couldn’t stop smiling for like ten minutes after I first put them on.
Rip pocket square footage
@@will928 lmao trans masc here, first pair of mens pants I spent a solid hour going around showing off my “big manly pockets”
Ooooh, that sounds like something I would like! So far I've just been wearing skirts because skirts are much more forgiving in their sizing, and I've been buying online because I'm too chicken to go to a store and try stuff on. But eventually I should get myself some women's jeans. I like things with cutesy feminine designs!
@@iluvlittenanimations2.010 sAME BECAUSE THEY'RE SO BIG
I CAN FIT A WHOLE ASS PAPERBACK NOVEL IN THEREEEEEE
I think it's interesting that you like women's pockets because for a lot of women they're such a bother
I'm a trans guy and as soon as I got my first pair of men's jeans I was like "Woah, so this is how the other side lives???!!"
There is nothing more infuriating than being a trans male with a twin brother. I compare everything about us, he's taller, has a deep ass voice, it fucking fucks with me so bad
I am very sorry about that my very manly man
Can totally relate dude.
bro i just commented almost the same thing :0 i’m a triplet tho (one brother) . trans multiples represent
@Earl Jones thats not how it works please do not "give advice" about a topic you do not understand and relate to.
@Earl Jones I never thought of that. Thanks.
As a trans woman, I get dysphoric from doing the yard work and working on my car. I was an Army mechanic and we had female soldiers in our unit but it just makes me feel like my neighbors are watching me and being like, "yup that's a man right there." I also know plenty of cis women into cars and obviously they do their own yardwork lol.
I get dysphoric when i have to do hard work i feel like my arms are gonna grown and gonna be big like men
@@anthonnyvaquedano792 Yeah like you know for a fact that growing ANY muscle takes weeks of rigorous excercise and diet but the thought still lingers there.
I don't want to be insensitive, but there's always going to be people that will judge from afar (no matter if you're trans or not). Others will literally not care or notice anything wrong. I remember this woman walking down the street and I casually thought "wow she's dressed nice and she's really pretty and tall". My mom next to me in the car nudged towards her and said smth like "See that? That's a man." and I was more appalled that my mom would say that than at the trans woman (I assume). I was speechless from my mom being so judgemental and transphobic. So don't worry, you don't want to have those kinds of people in your life anyways. Keep being you and keep your head held high and people will see your confidence before anything else!
I get this, but the other way around. Im a trans man and it gives me soooo much dysphoria to do those things cuz I was never taught how so I feel like I constantly look like I have no idea what I’m trying to do. And in our society, men are supposed to know how to do that. It makes me feel better that I can chock it up to me being gay lmao but my boyfriend is like THE handy-man so I don’t really need to know how to do anything 💁🏻♂️😂
I am a trans man and I get what you are saying I hate washing dishes when we have people over cause I know they are going to say what beautiful and good daughter you have ahskbasbabsj
AGAIN there is no masc or fem way to write. My grandpa writes like a victorian queen and my grandma writes chicken scratch. Don’t worry about that fam 😤
My handwriting is considered of atypical messy guy or person band I've sent cis dudes write like beautifully legendary but they behave like peasants. It's indeed stupid to gender writing
I love the way u described this lol
What is it about "Chicken scratch" that just cracks me up. Im just sitting here giggling for no good reason 🤣
I also write like a chicken and I'm a cis girl
Chicken scratch is oddly accurate. Like I know exactly what you mean 😅
Oh my goodness, this is the most relatable video I have EVER seen. My weirdest dysphoria trigger is probably hugs. The way the person kinda presses up against your chest and usually has like an arm near your hips... ughh. I literally either refuse hugs or just hold myself as far away from my arm as physically possible and then the other person just thinks I hate them or am an anti social freak... which I mean I am..
Hugs dont seem so weird as a dysphoria trigger, when you are pressed against someones chest you get to feel to much about what the other person has or does not have. When i got hugged before i got super aware some people were very flat (i envied them) and i was not (made me sad af). Im now flat and i still dont like being hugged tho
Weird things I get/used to get dysphoric about:
-preferring tea over coffee
-the month I’m born in
-being studious
-the toppings I put on my sandwich
-being around my girl friends (feeling like I’m one of them)
-being around my guy friends (not feeling like I’m one of them enough)
-being a vegetarian
-the type of music listen to
-being punctual
-being gay
-the way I hold my phone
-the way my desk looks
Yup I agree with like 95% of these
YES YES YES ME TOO PRETTY MCUH
STOP CALLING ME OUT, JUST @ ME NEXT TIME 🙄🤌
Oh mY GOD being vegan or vegetarian IS SO FEMININE for absolutely nO FUCKING REASON
April ?
When something I, a gay trans man, like is memed as being a way to identify lesbians - "If you like Hozier you're probably a lesbian" that kind of thing
@Earl Jones Keep it to yourself and get off my comment
I feel you so bad my man- I was talking to my lesbian friend and she was like “lmao wearing a flannel is the epitome of lesbian culture”
*me, looking down at my flannel* “ahahah never thought about it like that”
I FEEL THIS! I'm a GayAce trans man and someone said "Liking flannels means you're a lesbian." And like...I just like flannels????? I'm still a man-
s a m e
@Earl Jones ever heard of lesbians smart guy
I didnt think I had any weird triggers and then I remembered I'm physically incapable of being comfortable playing female characters in video games
same 💀
I tend to avoid feminine female characters but I avoid overly masculine male characters as well lol. The super macho muscles and tree trunk necks set off my dysphoria just as much
SAME
uhghhh same. So fucking annoying because I want there to be more female representation in games, but whenever there is any I'm like hahah not for me though not allowed.
Dudeeeee me too
Pregnancy and baby related ads trigger my dysphoria for the exact opposite reason, cause I can’t give birth and those ads always makes me unbelievably sad.
the "for him" and "for her" sections on any kind of retail website
im assuming you're nonbinary but i get this same dysphoria as a trans man. the "lady's stuff" will fit me better and it ALWAYS LOOKS NICER AND FITS MY STYLE but i feel wrong if i dont buy the "mens' stuff". i wish there was a neutral option too.
@@xollefi7418 we should get a section called "the stuff"
@@xollefi7418 I'm actually so shocked at this comment, I always felt like the "for her" section is a cheaper made, higher priced, pink colored whatever compared to the "for him" section. I mean its either that or the only difference is the color or design.
Honestly most gendered products are all trash and are completely non binary products 😂
Well, women's clothing is shaped differently because of a woman's shape
new section: for everyone. it’s just gender neutral clothes where everyone can wear them (if it’s their clothes size)
Every time I sing "man, I feel like a woman," I commit the extreme sin of lying to Shania Twain
its just a jam but its also dysphoric but also can't help singing to it but also uuuuh that's not true
I *hate* hearing that startup tune when my sister plays it. My mom loves it too, but I absolutely cannot handle the dysphoria when I hear it coming.
perpetrating acts of dishonesty against shania twain = ultimate dysphoria trigger 4 me
"all females have a freckle on their wrist"
me (a trans girl): *checks wrist and see freckle*
also me: *simultanious shocked pikachu face and smile*
This genuinely made me smile
This made me smile 😊
AW
This is the nicest thing I've read in along time
pain
i'm transmale and i got a freckle on each wrist haha
aha
Weirdest Dysphoria for me:
Me, a MtF always being asked to carry heavy things because I used to be a football player, and wrestler.
Not a dysphoria trigger, but a weird EUphoria trigger: I figured out that I can fit my fist in my mouth, which makes my manhands not feel so big
A trans guy here. I tried and i can’t
Thank you for a random big man hand euphoria moment.
people can fit their hands in their mouths?? oh dear i cant at all and i have tiny tiny hands. i have a jaw condition but like that makes me realize more how bad it is
Ha I can fit my hand in my mouth too! I never attached it to gender stuff but once I took a picture of my fist in my mouth in dark lighting and it looked like an entire toast
@@sniegsnieg OMG SAME
i can’t even fit part of my fist in. Nb euphoria ty :)
“I didn’t think about that”
“but now I will” 👁👁
Fr why am I doing this to myself 😭
this video has made me realise how being trans affects a person so much more than I previously realised. like, I knew it was a massive deal and everything but this just sounds so exhausting.
It really is exhausting, hehe
i think sometimes even we forget how exhausting it is to just not be accepted as the gender we are.
I agree, I'm cis and have a couple of trans friends, I thought dysphoria meant they felt disconnected from their bodies and that causes them frustration, anxiety and other issues. I had no idea it was that broad and that my friends could be overthinking every gender stereotype they fit or don't want to fit. Now I understand why it's so important to use the correct words with them (with all of you, in general).
Now I wonder if cis people on social media (and a couple of celebrities too) who are trying to degender stereotypical stuff, like guys wearing dresses and skirts and painting their nails or girls letting their body hair grow, could help trans people with their social dysphoria 🤔. Idk, it's something that I've been thinking, hope it makes sense and doesn't sound like some cis savior shit. Any feedback is welcomed
It is.
@Locust Hypnosis For me it's like, that very much helps, but the dysphoria comes more from "the outside people" (for lack of better terms, those who don't understand why wearing skirts and growing your hair should be normalized). So seeing these celebrities bring awareness on them doing this and it doesn't effect their gender at all, helps me in a way to expose the neutrality to others and help them understand.
Main idea:
Obviously it is great to see that representation for me as mirror, but it is also great to have representation as a window - for those not in my position to see through and understand people like me.
I have autism, and for some reason I lift my pinky when I drink tea, water, milk, coffee, or anything else. It makes the dysphoria brain go crazy, even though my cis dad, uncle, and grandpa all do it too
i do the pinky thing too!! i never thought of it as a girl thing, just a fancy thing lmao
One time I was sitting in my bedroom and my brain was like "is this a boys bedroom? You have posters and shit on ur walls that's not a boys bedroom!!" Literally what tf does that mean brain.
I get dysphoric over my room being clean........ -_-
@@nikolasslead6582 not a problem for me, my room is never clean. But apparently being a nerd and expressing my nerdiness with posters and banners is somehow not masculine to my brain???
I got some stuff from family form when I was younger and pre transition and some is more girly and I got stuffed animal s still. When a dude once shared he loved animals ( cis dude adult age) I felt a bit better lol and he actually cuddles them
@@myrkflinn4331 oh my god that actually helps a lot I've collected plushies from cons I've been to and stuff and that makes me dysphoric sometimes.
I hate my room man, my house is super old so my bedroom is pink and has flowers all over the walls and ceiling, it looks ok but it's the kind of room you'd expect from a grandma, also got curtains with a floral pattern. My saving grace are some painting that look badass and a gothic style closet, plus all my stuff, but it doesn't really help with the color issues.
i get dysphoric when I'm the first guy someone has dated bc they "usually are into girls".
AS A GAY TRANS MAN, THE WAY THAT GAVE ME A PHYSICAL REACTION.
Samee it makes me uncomfortable and im nombinary
Honest question, what if the guy is gay?
@@ke9147 what do you mean? If a trans guy is gay, he’s into men. If a cis guy is gay, he’s into men. In both cases they are gay men. It’s not that complicated.
Same thing happened with me and my ex
Turned out she completely disregarded the fact that I was a trans guy so that she could fulfill whatever weird fantasy she had-
Wearing a binder actually makes me dysphoric,,, I’d rather pretend they’re not there than have something pushing up against me all day. Plus I’m not flat enough with a binder so then I get extra upset, like “wow even a binder won’t make me look masculine enough” so I just don’t wear one. Can’t wait until I can get enough money for surgery 😔
Glad I’m not the only one. My dysphoria is more social than physical. I occasionally have bursts of physical dysphoria however, like when I’m on my period or having something pressing on my chest
@@august1837 same same. Mainly bc I'm nonbinary and more of a femboy anyways
Same dude
SAME WTH
Oh mood, I'm nonbinary and I've given up with binders. It hurts worse when I get "ma'am"-ed in a binder than it does when I'm not binding, if I'm gonna get mistaken for female anyway I might as well be comfortable :T
Honestly, the “being around lots of women” one is relatable. It just feels like I only have female friends because they just see me as one of the girls, and whether or not that’s the case, it hurts. Could also be why, despite my bisexuality, I’m more interested in getting a boyfriend than a girlfriend.
my birthname is a month. so i get dysphoria for an entire month, just being constantly reminded of my birthname.
i also get dysphoria from wearing binders, oddly enough, cause i can feel the material against my chest, and im afraid people will look at me in my binder and be like "yeah, youre still a woman, no matter how hard you try to hide your body."
My dead name is very close to being Christmas.... So I feel your pain. I'm glad that shit is over now until hopefully November.
my dead name basically means heaven
im not religious at all so its kinda funny to me
my dead name is another word for a season, its rarely used but when it is i just want to throw a toaster into a bath
My dead name is a famous place/landmark, it sucks seeing it in news articles and such
@@wondering.why. oh that sucks so much ass
weirdest dysphoria trigger i own: having lips
weird dysphoria trigger: having eyes
Weirdest dysphoria trigger: breathing a certain way
weird dysphoria trigger: having legs of a normal "softness"
@@Cecil_Arjun ohmygosh yessss
@@Chicagomom311 🤣🤣 felt
I think my oddest dysphoria trigger is being mlm. I’m Bi and lean more towards men and I’m constantly having to convince myself that finding men attractive isn’t a feminine thing.
Use the cis-het logic against the dysphoria. Men are supposed to be manly, what's more manly than loving another man? If a man loves another man that's so manly. (Warning may have adverse side-effects, cis-het ideas are strange and dangerous)
I mean, you are what you eat so don't worry about it.
Same
@@mme.veronica735 thats actually a cool way to think about it
it's not Masculine either.
Things that don’t fail to make me feel dysphoric: my family (specifically my mom) making uncomfortable jokes towards my body, poking my chest, and making sex jokes 🙂
Gotta love living with conservative “Christian” parents
Oh dear lord I get that
My dad in particular makes a lot of comments about my female-ness that wouldn't be the same if he saw me as his son. Ex. Insisting on being chivalrous, constantly talking about me being "married off", threatening to kill any boy who looks at me, etc.
But my brother (also trans) sometimes punches me in the chest, which hurts but is excellent for erasing chest dysphoria.
I hear you. My conservative Christian mom is always calling me a beautiful lady. GRRRRRR
Your dog MOST LIKELY still knows you're you. You probably smell roughly the same. Like, a dog recognizes someone after they go through puberty and you basically went through a second puberty. So, I would guess that she knows you're you.
Dogs are really smart and love their humans so much. I'm super confident that they still recognise the same person, especially if they saw them during their transition. Maybe if someone the whole transition away from them and then came back a lot different, it would be a little more confusing for them, but I think even then they'd probably still know who they are.
Agreed, my cat still knows I'm me after T, and I have had her since before I knew what trans was
I have cats too. I think they just don't notice the difference 🤔
@@novawilde1371 Well my dog is blind so.....
I’m starting T on Monday and now I’m worried he won’t recognize me 😰
Yeah I'm sure she knows, after all dogs definitely still recognise people that get hormonal changes, like they still recognise people during and after pregnancy, they still recognise people after menopause, they recognise children that go through puberty, they recognise each other if they get neutered and so on. Your dog probably noticed the change, probably didn't really understand why you started smelling slightly different but also probably didn't care since you were clearly ok (also the change would have been gradual and I'm sure that helped in her adjusting)
Hey as a trans masc person with a brother, I don't hate him.
He started puberty before me and his voice dropped and I got upset, ofc.
But he is the most supportive little brother. But now I am on T and catching up :) 5 months now!
He is still supportive and does shit like "let me check leg hair" just smacks my leg and goes "man!"
You have the greatest little brother
I have 5 brothers- I don't hate a single one cause I'm trans-masc and they're cis, I always felt (even when I was egg) that I was just one of the boys and that always gave me SOO much gender-euphoria even if I didn't know why 🤔
i grew up with an older sister, i used to think that i would never start the same puberty as her and just suddenly hit puberty with testosterone. when my chest started growing she pointed it out to me and ever since i've never looked at my body with the same hope and happiness i used to as a kid. now i have severe chest dysphoria and have to wait many years before i can actually transition (no i'm not a kid just not of legal age and considering the fact that i'll have to save up for it it will take a while)
and living in a family that IS seen as having mostly girls when my mom mentions having a "girls night" i either feel left out because i'm not a girl but then remember that she still sees me as one and most likely is adding me to the night which gives me even worse dysphoria.
I’m a cisgender girl and I never shave my legs. My brother calls me an “ape” for it. Glad your brother is… more kind to you. XD
Now THAT is chaotic sibling energy!
I was riding a horse. And I didn’t have a binder on. And my dysphoria sacks were bouncing up and down like an anime girl’s. and my boss commented on how I was becoming a woman. And I just got really sick to my stomach
Oh jeez that would suck- Any time I do activity or even walking and i'm not wearing something underneath i'm aware of them bouncing all over the place and it makes me so uncomfortable, also dysphoria sacks is very accurate
@@alexmackrell1385 yeah, like bruhhhhhhh why do they have to be so bouncy?
Also, why was my boss looking at my oonga boongas
@@lizzardbob6561 I agree, he shouldn't be looking at them anyway jeez, that would make anyone uncomfortable
@@alexmackrell1385 she’s a girl but yeah, it’s in the past so I don’t really care. she was looking at my posture while I was riding, but it came off as weird and made me,
🪑uncomfy🪑
7:15 I'm a trans woman and I have a sister who's almost exactly 2 years older than me. While we were growing up I was literally looking at the puberty that I wanted to have but never got, at least not until I started HRT 4 and a half years ago. I should mention that although I was jealous of my sister growing up I do still love her and we're very close as adults.
My dead-name is a name of a month, and every year I have to live through everyone saying my dead-name all the time, referring to the month. It gives me a small heart attack every damn time.
That must suck! Also Felix is a sick name btw
@@jw844 Thanks! I could never decide on a name until I saw Felix on a list of baby names, and right away felt like it fit me so well.
@@felix7937 I love the name Felix so much, it’s always been one of my favorites along with Arthur.
Bruhhh
Less, but my deadname is a flower and anytime the flower is referenced a little part of me dies.
Hot take: r/arethestraightsok is just cis people talking about their weird dysphoria triggers.
I love it
Omg
HOLY SHIT 🤣
That makes almost TOO much sense, actually🧐
WAIT-
I'm cis, but suddenly high-pitched "polite voice" is such a mood
Yeah, as a ciswoman my voice goes higher when talking to strangers/ on the phone. I think it's just what humans do... Or maybe it's the anxiety of the situation. I don't know. But it just happens. All the time.
Many men do the same (myself included). My theory is that it's to do with unconsciously trying to sound more actively invested in the conversation while being more aware of your inflection. Like how when you're being lazy and unbothered you tend to speak in a lower register. I kinda feel I come across as rude or cross when I just deadpan my voice on the phone.
Does anyone know if there's an actual explanation for this?? I'm curious now.
i worked at build a bear for almost two years and by the end the “talking to small children” on top of the standard customer service voice, i sounded like fucking minnie mouse so i feel this
I blame being a kind hearted punk for that. But I am also sorta non binary 🤷🏻♀
both of these things are also a mood
I'm a gay cis guy and 1. all of these things made me question the masculinity of my own behavior (it's not just trans guys that worry about their masculine images! for real), and 2. It made me think about things i say and do that might inadvertently trigger dysphoria in trans people around me. It's important to think about this stuff, so thanks 💙
❤️
Thank you for thinking about us
I said this on Twitter lmao but putting lotion on my legs ✊😔
YES, yes oh my god. I'm so glad I can't justify it to myself anymore because I have gorilla legs now.
Tbh, I don’t personally put on lotion for my legs because they don’t feel particularly dry and with all the hair it feels a tad unpleasant-but it was a post-shower ritual for my ex cis boyfriend. He was hairy as anything as well, and very much the “bro” type.
Same and as FTM... For me, also clean shaven legs too and any product that as a sweet smell cos it's always associated with females purely. And the flowery sweet smell I mean here
SAME
ME TOO
Your dog knows it’s you. They’re smart enough, rely on smell more than sight, and your dog loves you
And if your dog was with you through your transition it probably just thought you grew up to be a man!
@@kadables1823 this makes me so happy
Glad the umbrella one is in here. There’s this viral tweet that goes “I wish I was a girl so I could use an umbrella” and I know it’s stupid but I always think about it
Move to Vancouver canada, you can’t survive without an umbrella here
Dude umbrellas have always gotten me😂
Someone once said that “girls do a little happy dance when they eat something” and I knew that I did that so now I get dysphoric about it.
UMBRELLA MAKES SENSE!! EVERY CIS GUY I KNOW WHEN ITS RAINING IS LIKE “NO I DONT HAVE AN UMBRELLA IM NOT GAY/A GIRL” LIKE WH A T
As someone who gets sick very easily I can't understand not having an umbrella. Like what??
fellas, is it gay to stay dry
Once I had an umbrealla with me, but I walked through the rain with it in my hand, because 1) other guys had no umbrealla; 2) it was green and with birds. Nobody asked me about that, but I know it looked really weird
My heartbeat makes me dysphoric because once in science the teacher said that women’s hearts beat faster
OOF yeah any gender things ever mentioned in a science class hit different (i'm a biostatistician now, because... i hate myself?)
That doesn't make sense. I'm in college level science and that has never been told to me. I think your teacher is just bad at science. Sort of like when a teacher thinks trans people don't exist.
That's not true, it's that your heartbeat tends to be faster the smaller you are. Has nothing to do with sex. So don't worry!
The weirdest part of all of this to me is as trans female a ton of this stuff from trans males resonates with me from when I was hiding. Stuff like get your hand off your hip and stand up straight you look like a girl or stop waving your hands around while you’re talking you look like a girl. Weird is being in a men’s restroom and having to sit down to do the business that everybody has to do sitting down and then not wanting to pee until I can stand up and turn around and do it that way because otherwise it might sound like I’m a girl.
Dysphoria be like double edged sword with candle burning at both ends
Truly, its a catch 22
@Earl Jones I wasn’t born male or female. All the exterior bits look male, but I have internal female parts that changed my hormones. If you’re just talking about physical sex of a person then I’m either neither or both. Nobody will ever know who I am better than I do anyway, so isn’t it silly to chase definitions?
@Earl Jones how can that be silly? It’s technically accurate.
@Earl Jones i’m not clear why you’re saying it’s not accurate. What I just said is that I am physically intersex. I identify as trans female because externally I appear male even though it’s more complicated than that medically. If I were to jump back to your original statement I would have to say how does that relate to me in this context.
@Earl Jones for one thing you don’t know that this is true. How could you know unless they say and I didn’t say until the point came up. For another I never said they were connected. My point is that saying if you’re born a female you’re female you’re male then your male whatever you’re born is what you are is irrelevant. In other words saying what you said in your original comment and knowing that you’re correct in saying that in this context would require you to give somebody a physical exam. When you consider that this is obviously true it puts one in the position where you have to recognize that one cannot practically be dogmatic about this issue.
7:18 i'm an only child but most of my closest friends are cis guys and knowing them since around/before the start of puberty, hearing their voices drop n shit really gets to me :")
In my English class this year we are covering the book where my mom named me after the main character. This is gonna be real fun having to see my deadname every day because she's literally the main character.
Saaaammmmeeee. What I did is I deadass just picked the male leads name but I’m still closeted but problem solved I guess??
my deadnames a president who blew up shit so like euphoria points cuz its a dude but i want to know wtf my parents were thinking naming me that-
Six months later ... hope that worked out for you. That was a really good post, anyway.
omg yes, I was also named after a book character and I want to read the series bc I know it's rly good but like I also don't want to see my deadname every sentence. I thought about choosing the male love interest's name but it has kind of an ugly sound and doesn't fit me, and also would get shorted to an extremely common name which I don't like so.
My middle name is from the gilmore girls, I get it man, but my first name is one of those neutral names
ohhhh my god. the mention of water bottles triggering dysphoria unlocked this weird ass memory.
at primary school (so like 4-11 yrs), all the boys would tilt their water bottles to the side as they drank from them (like rather than it going straight in front of their noses it would cover one eye) and it made me so self-conscious about how i drank water in an un-masculine way so i altered my drinking habits to do it in the “boy” way.
i changed how i drank w a t e r !! wtf??
off topic, but i love your profile pic :D
@@vriannewojtowicz8408 ayyyyyy thanks :D
I support feminism but I can’t call myself a feminist because of how much dysphoria it gives me oof.
Fr fr i get that im a feminist but i fear people are going to assume im a girl if i comment on that stuff
WHY IS THIS-- UGH ITS TRUE 😭
Bruh what fr this made me anti-feminist back in like 2015 when that was "cool" and i was well on the alt-right pipeline because I thought feminism and social justice was all like TERF shit and just for girls 😭😭 wish I'd just realised it was dysphoria and found trans spaces first but I was too busy being an edgelord lol. Even now when people talk about misogyny specifically I have to peace out because it gives major dysphoria
As a straight guy this video is interesting to me bc all of the triggers are either weirdly specific things that nobody would really notice or something that is only really exclusive to a stereotypical man, which admittedly must be annoying in areas where these stereotypes are more heavily enforced societally
funnily enough, the thing that helped my voice dysphoria was learning other languages! For instance, in japanese, men have a higher pitch than in enligsh, so I keep my english pitch when speaking japanese to make myself feel more masculine :)
holy fuck you’re a genius that gave me so much gender euphoria
@@sleepieste ty so much, and I'm happy my little trick brings you joy :)
Another transgender ftm language nerd I see? Bro for me it’s speaking and learning very gendered languages and gendering myself correctly.
@@lifeisinteresting3577 for me as a NB person, I like ASL because there’s very little gendering in that language
I’m learning Polish and whenever I speak it my voice automatically drops like a ton of octaves
Here's a weird one of mine: Not being hungry or eating slowly just gives me intense dysphoria
Why’s that?
@@gracev8762 Honestly idk, probably because cis guys are typically more hungry? It has to do with strength I guess
@@partly_disconnected ohh haha that’s understandable, although I doubt anyone else would notice or care lol
I have no clue if this makes this better or worse, I thought if anything not eating enough would be a "female" thing because as a presenting fem who's skinny, I get so many comments about my body and how girls should be skinny and that bs.
I mean that's just a whole lot of issues combined in one :/ I hope your dysphoria realizes how dumb it is, you're hella valid
Me, a trans person who struggles to eat at all:
hehehe...heh...
12:50
I have a gender neutral compliment that I got from my band director.
*Snazzy*
He always says we look snazzy in our band uniforms before concerts as a little way to boost confidence.
I love the word snazzy
i personally like swag
I have two younger brothers. I started T one week and one day ago. I was born in 2003. My eldest younger brother, is just now a freshman. Watching them BOTH grow taller than me, deeper voices and beards has been hell, and its been harder on me in terms of getting bigendered, because before puberty hits, we've all looked very androgynous - even feminine (we dont usually cut our hair, i was the only boy of the family to do so lol) so normally no one would say anything, but now that im inches shorter, and several pitches higher, its become hard. Im glad im on T when i am. Its taken me years and years, but soon i will be able to say i am adult man, with a name that feels like ive known it a million lifetimes before. Its bad, but its getting better. besides, all 3 of my brothers have always been supportive, and my family doesnt enforce gender roles and never really has. Both I and my oldest younger brother dressed up in princess dressed. But we were more prone to play matchbox cars together. And we didnt have much money, so i wore hand-me-downs from my older brother all the time. I wouldnt have traded the experience for the world at the end of it all, because i know they are there for me. And we are brothers. I wonder, if it has been painful for them too.
i feel you man ): as the 5’5 older brother watching my younger brother grow to 5’10 has been painful to say the least…especially when extended family always comments on how big he’s gotten but doesn’t have anything to say about me 😞 we will make it through
I'm the eldest of two younger brothers, (my baby bro is like 4 rn) my middle bro started high-school and is 14 and you're right when it's pain. I feel so envious and jealous especially since I won't be able to take hormones till I'm independent from my family which could take ages
Trans femme here: Sitting with my legs apart. Feel like I'm "manspreading"
oh god the OPPOSITE, nb here, sitting with my legs together (like when i’m taking a shit)
Yo I did this before I knew I was trans and looking back it made me feel so powerful
Ftm here, I'll trade your habit of sitting with legs apart for my habit of sitting with my legs together and contorting them into the weirdest, most hypermobile shape possible
100% feel you on that omg!!!!
Honestly this is such a dumb societal thing bc having a more typically 'female' shaped pelvis probably makes it more comfortable to sit with your legs apart, if anything
Things that make me dysphoric:
-Liking girls/Being perceived as a lesbian
-Liking guys/Being perceived as a straight woman
-Liking people for their personality/Just being fucking pan and thinking a personality is hotter than a body. Like, do I need to be a douche to love myself?
Same here I am bi and I prefer guys more and I hate people perceiving me as a girl when I talk about that because heteronormativity
This is a mood oh my god I thought I was the only one
being bi and trans is a _headache_
Im glad im ace
I thought I was the only one that was dysphoric about that
**screams in pan/transfem pain**
EXACTLY! Why don’t people in my life understand that! Sushejaus dkfosnshzusnsja. **more pain.**
Pov: "having a freckle on your wrist'' - everyone looks at their wrists😂
I have freckles all over my arms😭✋
NOOOOOO NOT THAT I REMEMBER BEING SO UPSET
I did that.
don't call me out like this 😂
Found none on mine 😂
As an NB, mine is definitely flying. It's because where I live the government hasn't caught up with NB existing, so all the tickets have Mr./Miss/Ms./Mrs. prominently before the name.
As a trans guy with an older brother i can confirm it's terrible, i see what i could've looked like and i compare our features all the time 😭
Same bro 🥲🤚 I got two older brothers (whom I hate) one of em kinda looks like me and although he’s ugly fodjdobi I still feel as though that could’ve been me :0 and the other one has a deep as voice and as someone with the highest and most feminine sounding voice- it just kinda sucks ig idk but hang in there losjdoddjdp Lmaooooo
Saaammmmeee. My little brother is kind of a 'phobe, so he always gives me weird looks when I try not to sound feminine. I frking hate it because, around him, I can't even be myself. I feel like I have to play straight/cis just to keep him comfortable around me.
@@victormorris5872 this.
I also have an older brother. He normally doesn't trigger my dysphoria except when he walks around shirtless. Then my brain goes fuck, I could have had that. The same goes for his height. He's relatively short by men's standards, but he's still taller than me
I used to be taller than my younger brother for years, then he’s suddenly become like too damn tall and my 5’4 ass is constantly wearing my 3 inch heels to try and combat it but I’m still too short and I scream
During a heated argument, my father mimicked my "feminine" gestures and voice, which gets higher pitched when I'm upset. It has scarred me, and I still get dysphoric over this mere thought.
Weirder one, writing a word in all caps makes me feel dysphoric.
Thanks for posting this video. It helped, in a way.
My family used to mock me and call me Minnie Mouse when I got mad. So, now that character makes me dysphoric! :(
@@arnhood I feel you...
@Gamer I’m so sorry to hear that, that’s awful. Don’t feel like you have to change yourself to prove her wrong though; that was just a bitch move from her :(
@Gamer how would she know what is motherly? Her making you upset on purpose sounds kind of abusive and not like a good mother
Man that really sucks. I'm cis and don't experience dysphoria, but I do often feel ashamed of exhibiting "feminine" behaviour because of assholes like your dad. I changed my laugh, the cadence of my speech, the way I gesture, walk and hold myself because of it when I was going through puberty.
im enby and being reminded of the fact that i have a physical form makes me soooo uncomfortable, not to sure if it's dysphoria or not
Edit : i have since found out that i am a trans man but i do still feel like this sometimes
I’m enby too and I relate. I want to be seen as an amorphous blob.
@@dan-anhh.8841 exactly!!
Same here, though I still have yet to decide on a gender
your dog knows it's still you, I'd guess. I'm faceblind (dogs presumably lack the human facial recognition software) and recognize people by body language and so on, and someone transitioning wouldn't make me not recognize them.
@@SpecialBlanket i just woke up and this was the best way to start my day, thank you
"watching softball" - ah yes, the "lol why don't you just admit you're a lesbian?" Flavor of dysphoria.
This is so interesting so many things that are gendered without realizing it. I’m a cis female engaged to a cis male and I look pretty feminine and he looks extremely masculine but we have the opposite kind of personality’s. I’m stern and loud, he’s soft and quiet, I drink espresso, he drinks fruit smoothies, I’m a fighter, he’s a lover, I’m pretty unemotional, he’s sensitive, I drink whiskey he drinks fruity cocktails, I watch action movies and he loves romantic comedies, He was in band and I did martial arts and man does the list go on. A lot of people mix up our drink orders and shit because of the “unspoken gender rules”. Then to just throw another wrench in “normal gender” stuff we both like cars and ballet, we go straight from the dance studio to the auto parts store. Some days we are building cars and fixing up houses and other days we are facemasking and doing pedicures.
This is just precious! Like a huge FU to the norms. I bet it must be infuriating at times and maybe even awkward in some situations. But I'd just take such pride in proving people wrong with their expectations! If not out loud, at least quietly by myself. It feels so bad to think how many people postpone happiness and pleasure just because some invisible rule tells us it's not okay to enjoy certain things.
This is wholesome, I hope you're both happy and together forever 💖💖💖
You sound like such a cute couple
This is so precious 🥺
This gives me all the happy feels. The straights really ARE okay sometimes. 💕
Most of these sound exactly like the "am I masculine enough" anxiety I go through (the way I hold cups, moving my arms too much, being too expressive in emails, how I sit/cross legs, how I stand). I'm a cis man.
I'm cis, but I really struggled with identifying as a "Man" for a long time after puberty, it felt like that was a word that described people who had jobs and wives and cars, and not incidentally also looked like they were advertising for Gilette. Oddly I never felt concerned about whether I was *acting* manly enough and I even - I swear without thinking at all deeply about it - bought women's clothes (tasteful, rustic or weird rather than Womensy I guess) a few times for parties (years later though, I am slightly annoyed I never tried drag lol). I wonder now if I'd have come to identify as nonbinary if the option had come up - as it is, I just kinda buried it.
@@storageheater you should really look into that more !
@@miadeadinelectrical7526
Yeah, I’ve felt the same way in the past.
Nothing wrong with being in touch with your feminine side
my weird dysphoria triggers: wearing an apron, having stuffed animals, art, how I sit/sleep, how I hold hands with my gf
I have 4 younger brothers. they're all going through (or have gone through) the right puberty the 1st time. it's hard
umbrella dude, I feel you!
I wear an apron at work and it used to bother me. I saw something on TV with a cook...he was wearing an apron. I kinda had a weird 'bing' moment where my brain said 'aprons are not feminine...they mean you cook' and now...I even wear an apron when I cook at home, and yes, I probably look a little funny but hey! It keeps sauce off my clothes while I make supper.
Even before I knew I was trans, I never even liked touching an apron because it's what my sisters would use to cook when my brothers never did.
@@OhioWolf94 the apron dysphoria is not because I think only women wear aprons. it's because my hips/waist/chest are getting accentuated (or at least I think they are)
@@percygladwell1511 Ah, I guess I feel ya on that end. At work it tends to be 98F to 110F in our kitchen so I dont think anyone notices anything else hahaha. (the joys of baking lol)
So many of these are so relatable. I'm pre-op and even pre HRT but I got clocked as male at my new job, and now I'm hyper aware of all my mannerisms (pun intended) and if I'm acting like an actual guy on a crew of all men.
one of mine is being called handsome, because I think of handsome as a square and masculine man, and when people call me it I either feel like I’m being treated like a little boy or like people are trying too hard to validate me because I don’t actually pass
also that whole “did you know that men and women have different centers of gravity??!!” pain
@@justanotheranimationchanne5725 idk where my center of gravity is, and for the sake of my health, imma keep it that way.
@@justanotheranimationchanne5725 I have scoliosis so my center of gravity is all over the place.
Guess that explains why I'm enby lol.
God that hit me in the feels.
I KNOW RIGHT?? also whenever someone tries to pull the center of mass thing on me i fail anyways because i’m ✨built terribly anyways✨
that lyrics from the demi lovato song “heart attack” where she says “you make me wanna act like a girl” like i physically cannot finish the phrase
THIS dude i just....can not sing along to that part
SERIOUSLY CERTAIN SONGS GIVE ME MAJOR DYSPHORIA-
There’s a song I love that I sing along to like every day in my car... but one line is “I’m a controversial lady” and I physically cannot get the whole line out
Deadass. I love the song but the part comes on and I'm there like: :/.
PLEASE I CANT EVEN THINK ABT IT WITHOUT GOING CRAZY
whenever i bump my hip against the counter or somethin, wearing those little ankle socks
omg socks yes
Oh my god you are not psychoanalyzing my love of high socks rn hshdhdhd
baguette IM SO SORRY
holy cow I hate ankle socks
9:57 I once forgot to put my name on my paper and the teacher was asking whose it was. “It looks like a girls handwriting” You could tell she felt so bad 😂
The hair, the bod. Ty is a demigod
You’re welcome
i love this
What can I say except You’re welcome
My disphoria trigger is seeing all the guys at my school going through male puberty (specifically voice drop) and I'm still in the wrong body
Yoo same some of the guys in my same class have really deep voices and I'm just over here sounding real nasally like I always have a cold
I felt really broken when guy from my courses, who is younger than me, became higher with voice much deeper than mine. I joked about his voice cracking, but it was just too painful to accept. I feel bad about this jealousy, because all my cis friends are good persons and they deserve to look like greek gods, but I just can't stop crying, huh
yeah 😔
Sameee. My friends are getting deeper voices and I feel left out
Hits so fck hard, it feels like I watch them move, but have to stay still myself. Many ppl mention how ur teen years and young adulthood r meant to be so great, but I always feel like it's just being wasted and I'm missing out. It feels like years r passing by drastically fast.
When I write in my journal, I say “dear book” instead of “dear diary” bc that shit makes me so dysphoric ik that’s kinda weird
Edit: (thx so much for the likes & comments guys! y’all r funny lmao)
I just write the date. hehe
“Dear book” is fucking hilarious thank you for that
"dear book" sounds nice I'm gonna be using that from now on lol
When I was keeping a journal, I named the book Turtle and would write, "hi turtle"
Never had a diary simply because my only my sisters had them.
13:47
no because my dad deadass says only women and children should use umbrellas. now it’s an inside joke between me and my sister, if we do anything masculine we say “i’m a manly man i don’t need an umbrella or anything”
As a nonbinary person, sometimes things just feel gendered even if they aren’t at all and it’s wild. It’s more names though, because I’m still looking for name suggestions, and someone will say a name that’s meant to be gender neutral, and I’ll feel like ‘no that name’s male or female not neither’
Edit: So turns out I’m just a dude and my name’s Teddy now :)
I really struggled with my name (I'm nonbinary as well) eventually I just went for the simplest name I could find that I consider to be a gender neutral version of my birth name (my preferred name is Ell)
Ok but is it just me or do names like Blake, Drew, Alex, Brooklyn and Hunter feel STRICTLY male, and the names Riley, Bailey, Taylor, Avery and Jordan are STRICTLY female????
Like I get ridiculously pissed off when they're recommended so I just said screw it, my name's Plague 🙄🤌
i see Alex as neutral because of minecraft Alex and Jordan as also neutral because of captainsparklez,,,i like minecraft okay
When I was picking my name, I realised that Spencer from iCarly and Spencer from Pretty Little Liars were different genders but they were both my favourite character so I was like YOINK that's my name now 😳
Well my name is max which works for both girls and boys. But some people go by sock, brick, rox etc
lisenting to a lot of male singers and not being able to sing like them cause my voice isn't deep enough
THIS
SAME
Yeahh it just sounds like ur trying to harmonise with them but in a much higher pitch :(
You are enough, diversity is the most beautiful thing on humans🤍
This
It’s so interesting to hear the different things that make people dysphoric. For me, most of my dysphoria dissipated when I came out as nonbinary. Although passing as male when I’m nonbinary came with a bunch more dysphoria associated with the fact that the vast majority of people read me as male and don’t even question it, even when I’m actively wearing a they/them pin.
I plan to get to a they/them pin. People constantly read me as female because of my body. Loose fitting clothes isn’t physically comfortable on me, but I don’t wear extremely tight things either. I want a binder so badly, but I’m afraid because I have asthma. 😞 I legitimately want to scream at people when they use gendered pronouns for me...but I silently just die inside and begin to question myself as a non-binary person. I wish people saw us as who we are and not just our parts.
@@Phoenixrisn6287 stay strong! i hope you can get that pin soon
for me it's weird cause I'm an enby but I'm also masc leaning. so I wanna look masc enough so that I look kinda like a boy but I wanna look fem enough so people get confused when they see me (but I never wanna be perceived as a girl). I get euphoria from nail polish and earrings, both of which are considered "fem", but it somehow makes me feel more masculine. for clothes I'm fine with fem bottoms but I hate fem tops. Tge clothes in question also have to never hug my body. the clothes also have to be in a dark palette or it makes me dysphoric. also I'm fine with putting my hair in a bun or in pigtails, but not in a ponytail(which somehow feels more fem than pigtails??). I love makeup but it has to absolutely be dark. piercings in general give me euphoria but they have to be simple rings/studs (I cant stand decorated/cutesy ones unless they're earrings). every shirt I wear has to be boxy and hide most of my arms. I cant wear those stupid fitness clothes that are made out of that weird material. I have so many things that give me euphoria and dysphoria and ngl it's kinda hellish tryna figure it out
@Earl Jones thanks! 🥰
@@hideakisorachi3953 omg! I'm so similar to you! I'm very comfortable with fem bottoms (but very specific ones), but not so much for the fem tops(also very specific, must be loose). I absolutely have to have short short hair, I love coloured clothes, and no makeup at all. I enjoy jewelry, but only if it's simple, not too femimnin. It's very complicated! It's actually reasuring to see someone else having a disphoria as complicated as mine.
My brother is 6yo and seeing his very boyish childhood and having toys and having friends who are boys makes me irrationally jealous. I don't hate him, but sometimes I feel like I don't want to be around him or hear about his day because it makes me feel bad or like I missed out on childhood experiences I should've/wished I had
the deadname part is so true though. i feel so awkward even talking about fictional characters that have my deadname bc my dysphoria thinks that the person im talking to will ~ psychically sense ~ that the name is connected to me somehow- or in the case of talking to people who know my deadname, that they'll comment on it. thank god it's not a super common name at least.
There's a podcast series and a indie videogame coming out that I want to get into, but they both have my deadname in the title and I can't bring myself to consume that content.
God yeah, my deadname is uncommon but *just* established enough to pop up once in a blue moon and spook the shit out of me
yes! and I make myself even more dysphoric by whispering myself: why did you even react to it? *deadname* is not ur name, no connections. u shouldnt feel anything bout it, u dont know that name.
I feel awkward talking about real people whose real name happens to be the same as my sister’s deadname. And it’s a very common name!!! Luckily most people with that name use a nickname that my sister never did, but the full name is just awkward to say.
One of the few people who actually looks attractive in a mullet
My exact thoughts. It's straight up a Billy Ray style mullet and it somehow really suits him?
Tank tops give me so much dysphoria, also worrying about how im standing and my height. My skinny arms, tiny hands, my facial features...my shoulders
It's funny, I can wear tank tops, but it all depends on the cut/fit and the color. I have two identical ones that are completely the same except for color. The black one makes me extremely euphoric, the white one gives me dysphoria.
i'd love to see a version of this for weird euphoria things. for example when i burp, like hella loud, it's disgusting but i'm still like... :) im so cool now :)
DUDE SAMEEE and also when i’m like sweaty sometimes i’m like “oh yeah i’m a real man 😎😎💪”
@@sleepyjester meeeeEEEEEE like literally just being gross is gender euphoria. mayhaps because... MEN.... are gross :) lmao