When something I, a gay trans man, like is memed as being a way to identify lesbians - "If you like Hozier you're probably a lesbian" that kind of thing
I feel you so bad my man- I was talking to my lesbian friend and she was like “lmao wearing a flannel is the epitome of lesbian culture” *me, looking down at my flannel* “ahahah never thought about it like that”
my birthname is a month. so i get dysphoria for an entire month, just being constantly reminded of my birthname. i also get dysphoria from wearing binders, oddly enough, cause i can feel the material against my chest, and im afraid people will look at me in my binder and be like "yeah, youre still a woman, no matter how hard you try to hide your body."
I think my oddest dysphoria trigger is being mlm. I’m Bi and lean more towards men and I’m constantly having to convince myself that finding men attractive isn’t a feminine thing.
Use the cis-het logic against the dysphoria. Men are supposed to be manly, what's more manly than loving another man? If a man loves another man that's so manly. (Warning may have adverse side-effects, cis-het ideas are strange and dangerous)
I feel dysphoric if my hands are above my waist. If I'm holding a cup or my dog's leash, I'm like "Men don't hold things????" Also sitting down, and my thighs look bigger.
I don't know if it'll help, but just imagine some '70s or '80s office worker guy or boss, undoubtedly they will be holding a coffee mug on a Monday with a tie over a very boring and bland but professional shirt I could not think of a more traditionally masculine thing
Yeah, as a ciswoman my voice goes higher when talking to strangers/ on the phone. I think it's just what humans do... Or maybe it's the anxiety of the situation. I don't know. But it just happens. All the time.
Many men do the same (myself included). My theory is that it's to do with unconsciously trying to sound more actively invested in the conversation while being more aware of your inflection. Like how when you're being lazy and unbothered you tend to speak in a lower register. I kinda feel I come across as rude or cross when I just deadpan my voice on the phone. Does anyone know if there's an actual explanation for this?? I'm curious now.
i worked at build a bear for almost two years and by the end the “talking to small children” on top of the standard customer service voice, i sounded like fucking minnie mouse so i feel this
One time I was sitting in my bedroom and my brain was like "is this a boys bedroom? You have posters and shit on ur walls that's not a boys bedroom!!" Literally what tf does that mean brain.
@@nikolasslead6582 not a problem for me, my room is never clean. But apparently being a nerd and expressing my nerdiness with posters and banners is somehow not masculine to my brain???
I got some stuff from family form when I was younger and pre transition and some is more girly and I got stuffed animal s still. When a dude once shared he loved animals ( cis dude adult age) I felt a bit better lol and he actually cuddles them
I hate my room man, my house is super old so my bedroom is pink and has flowers all over the walls and ceiling, it looks ok but it's the kind of room you'd expect from a grandma, also got curtains with a floral pattern. My saving grace are some painting that look badass and a gothic style closet, plus all my stuff, but it doesn't really help with the color issues.
My dead-name is a name of a month, and every year I have to live through everyone saying my dead-name all the time, referring to the month. It gives me a small heart attack every damn time.
As a transfemme one of my weird euphoria triggers is jean pockets, men’s pockets don’t tend to have cutesy designs and stuff while women’s pockets do (at least sometimes). I remember the first pair of women’s jeans I wore had a heart design on the pockets and I couldn’t stop smiling for like ten minutes after I first put them on.
Ooooh, that sounds like something I would like! So far I've just been wearing skirts because skirts are much more forgiving in their sizing, and I've been buying online because I'm too chicken to go to a store and try stuff on. But eventually I should get myself some women's jeans. I like things with cutesy feminine designs!
I think it's interesting that you like women's pockets because for a lot of women they're such a bother I'm a trans guy and as soon as I got my first pair of men's jeans I was like "Woah, so this is how the other side lives???!!"
When I write in my journal, I say “dear book” instead of “dear diary” bc that shit makes me so dysphoric ik that’s kinda weird Edit: (thx so much for the likes & comments guys! y’all r funny lmao)
I have no clue if this makes this better or worse, I thought if anything not eating enough would be a "female" thing because as a presenting fem who's skinny, I get so many comments about my body and how girls should be skinny and that bs. I mean that's just a whole lot of issues combined in one :/ I hope your dysphoria realizes how dumb it is, you're hella valid
I am a GNC trans man so it's hard to relate to most of these (pretty happy about my body except for my actual female parts) but I totally felt the "having my chest be referred to as female terms" Never call my chest boobs, tits, breasts, whatever else. It's so gross to me and I'm sure many trans men hate that. It also words for my lower area as well. I don't even like referring to it at all, just pretend I am a Ken doll down there.
As a GNC trans man, after some months of hrt I almost have no dysphoria, but I now do when girls ask me to go with them to the girl's bathroom. Like, not even if the men's bathroom is full and I just get to the girl's bathroom. Only when I am asked for it
I'm fine with most "gendered" terms for chest and genitals because my partner liberally uses them as well (cis amab). He'll just randomly go "our tits look bomb today" and I'm suddenly just..."fUCK YEAH THEY DO"
In my English class this year we are covering the book where my mom named me after the main character. This is gonna be real fun having to see my deadname every day because she's literally the main character.
omg yes, I was also named after a book character and I want to read the series bc I know it's rly good but like I also don't want to see my deadname every sentence. I thought about choosing the male love interest's name but it has kind of an ugly sound and doesn't fit me, and also would get shorted to an extremely common name which I don't like so.
That doesn't make sense. I'm in college level science and that has never been told to me. I think your teacher is just bad at science. Sort of like when a teacher thinks trans people don't exist.
Not dysphoria, but a euphoria trigger. I'm MtF, and despite having no large changes in weight, and never weighing more than 60 kg: I've developed stretch marks on my sides and back, and my mind just associates stretch marks with being feminine ig, so I just feel so nice knowing that they're there.
as a trans guy with stretch marks on my lower regions I’ll happy hand mine over to you 😫 it’s not so much the stretch marks themselves but where they are located on my body that makes me ANGERY 😤
Bruh what fr this made me anti-feminist back in like 2015 when that was "cool" and i was well on the alt-right pipeline because I thought feminism and social justice was all like TERF shit and just for girls 😭😭 wish I'd just realised it was dysphoria and found trans spaces first but I was too busy being an edgelord lol. Even now when people talk about misogyny specifically I have to peace out because it gives major dysphoria
During a heated argument, my father mimicked my "feminine" gestures and voice, which gets higher pitched when I'm upset. It has scarred me, and I still get dysphoric over this mere thought. Weirder one, writing a word in all caps makes me feel dysphoric. Thanks for posting this video. It helped, in a way.
@Gamer I’m so sorry to hear that, that’s awful. Don’t feel like you have to change yourself to prove her wrong though; that was just a bitch move from her :(
Man that really sucks. I'm cis and don't experience dysphoria, but I do often feel ashamed of exhibiting "feminine" behaviour because of assholes like your dad. I changed my laugh, the cadence of my speech, the way I gesture, walk and hold myself because of it when I was going through puberty.
I saw a similar comment to this earlier, so your definitely not alone! I'm not enby, I'm cis, but that honestly bothers me too. Like why can't in that instance the word "they" or like "their" be used instead. Like it even using less letters/symbols when "they" is fully spelled out vs. when "she/he" is fully spelled out
Oh my goodness, this is the most relatable video I have EVER seen. My weirdest dysphoria trigger is probably hugs. The way the person kinda presses up against your chest and usually has like an arm near your hips... ughh. I literally either refuse hugs or just hold myself as far away from my arm as physically possible and then the other person just thinks I hate them or am an anti social freak... which I mean I am..
Hugs dont seem so weird as a dysphoria trigger, when you are pressed against someones chest you get to feel to much about what the other person has or does not have. When i got hugged before i got super aware some people were very flat (i envied them) and i was not (made me sad af). Im now flat and i still dont like being hugged tho
There’s a song I love that I sing along to like every day in my car... but one line is “I’m a controversial lady” and I physically cannot get the whole line out
Same bro 🥲🤚 I got two older brothers (whom I hate) one of em kinda looks like me and although he’s ugly fodjdobi I still feel as though that could’ve been me :0 and the other one has a deep as voice and as someone with the highest and most feminine sounding voice- it just kinda sucks ig idk but hang in there losjdoddjdp Lmaooooo
Saaammmmeee. My little brother is kind of a 'phobe, so he always gives me weird looks when I try not to sound feminine. I frking hate it because, around him, I can't even be myself. I feel like I have to play straight/cis just to keep him comfortable around me.
I also have an older brother. He normally doesn't trigger my dysphoria except when he walks around shirtless. Then my brain goes fuck, I could have had that. The same goes for his height. He's relatively short by men's standards, but he's still taller than me
I used to be taller than my younger brother for years, then he’s suddenly become like too damn tall and my 5’4 ass is constantly wearing my 3 inch heels to try and combat it but I’m still too short and I scream
ohhhh my god. the mention of water bottles triggering dysphoria unlocked this weird ass memory. at primary school (so like 4-11 yrs), all the boys would tilt their water bottles to the side as they drank from them (like rather than it going straight in front of their noses it would cover one eye) and it made me so self-conscious about how i drank water in an un-masculine way so i altered my drinking habits to do it in the “boy” way. i changed how i drank w a t e r !! wtf??
Pregnancy and baby related ads trigger my dysphoria for the exact opposite reason, cause I can’t give birth and those ads always makes me unbelievably sad.
Most of these sound exactly like the "am I masculine enough" anxiety I go through (the way I hold cups, moving my arms too much, being too expressive in emails, how I sit/cross legs, how I stand). I'm a cis man.
I'm cis, but I really struggled with identifying as a "Man" for a long time after puberty, it felt like that was a word that described people who had jobs and wives and cars, and not incidentally also looked like they were advertising for Gilette. Oddly I never felt concerned about whether I was *acting* manly enough and I even - I swear without thinking at all deeply about it - bought women's clothes (tasteful, rustic or weird rather than Womensy I guess) a few times for parties (years later though, I am slightly annoyed I never tried drag lol). I wonder now if I'd have come to identify as nonbinary if the option had come up - as it is, I just kinda buried it.
12:50 I have a gender neutral compliment that I got from my band director. *Snazzy* He always says we look snazzy in our band uniforms before concerts as a little way to boost confidence.
I have autism, and for some reason I lift my pinky when I drink tea, water, milk, coffee, or anything else. It makes the dysphoria brain go crazy, even though my cis dad, uncle, and grandpa all do it too
“Girls have freckles in their wrist and that gives me dysphoria” AMAB enbie here. My wrist has a freckle on it and I had an actual dopamine rush of euphoria. Does that make it like the Uno reverse card of weird gender euphoria triggers?
Once I had an umbrealla with me, but I walked through the rain with it in my hand, because 1) other guys had no umbrealla; 2) it was green and with birds. Nobody asked me about that, but I know it looked really weird
This is so interesting so many things that are gendered without realizing it. I’m a cis female engaged to a cis male and I look pretty feminine and he looks extremely masculine but we have the opposite kind of personality’s. I’m stern and loud, he’s soft and quiet, I drink espresso, he drinks fruit smoothies, I’m a fighter, he’s a lover, I’m pretty unemotional, he’s sensitive, I drink whiskey he drinks fruity cocktails, I watch action movies and he loves romantic comedies, He was in band and I did martial arts and man does the list go on. A lot of people mix up our drink orders and shit because of the “unspoken gender rules”. Then to just throw another wrench in “normal gender” stuff we both like cars and ballet, we go straight from the dance studio to the auto parts store. Some days we are building cars and fixing up houses and other days we are facemasking and doing pedicures.
This is just precious! Like a huge FU to the norms. I bet it must be infuriating at times and maybe even awkward in some situations. But I'd just take such pride in proving people wrong with their expectations! If not out loud, at least quietly by myself. It feels so bad to think how many people postpone happiness and pleasure just because some invisible rule tells us it's not okay to enjoy certain things.
Things that don’t fail to make me feel dysphoric: my family (specifically my mom) making uncomfortable jokes towards my body, poking my chest, and making sex jokes 🙂 Gotta love living with conservative “Christian” parents
Oh dear lord I get that My dad in particular makes a lot of comments about my female-ness that wouldn't be the same if he saw me as his son. Ex. Insisting on being chivalrous, constantly talking about me being "married off", threatening to kill any boy who looks at me, etc. But my brother (also trans) sometimes punches me in the chest, which hurts but is excellent for erasing chest dysphoria.
one of mine is being called handsome, because I think of handsome as a square and masculine man, and when people call me it I either feel like I’m being treated like a little boy or like people are trying too hard to validate me because I don’t actually pass
As a nonbinary person, sometimes things just feel gendered even if they aren’t at all and it’s wild. It’s more names though, because I’m still looking for name suggestions, and someone will say a name that’s meant to be gender neutral, and I’ll feel like ‘no that name’s male or female not neither’ Edit: So turns out I’m just a dude and my name’s Teddy now :)
I really struggled with my name (I'm nonbinary as well) eventually I just went for the simplest name I could find that I consider to be a gender neutral version of my birth name (my preferred name is Ell)
Ok but is it just me or do names like Blake, Drew, Alex, Brooklyn and Hunter feel STRICTLY male, and the names Riley, Bailey, Taylor, Avery and Jordan are STRICTLY female???? Like I get ridiculously pissed off when they're recommended so I just said screw it, my name's Plague 🙄🤌
When I was picking my name, I realised that Spencer from iCarly and Spencer from Pretty Little Liars were different genders but they were both my favourite character so I was like YOINK that's my name now 😳
*me, a cis writter who is creating their first trans character and is trying to understand dysphoria watching this video* ✍️dysphoria✍️is✍️like✍️that✍️friend✍️that✍️has✍️the✍️one✍️story✍️ that✍️they✍️always✍️want✍️to✍️tell✍️... edit (after a year): guys... turns out... not as cis as i thought... ANYWAYS the book is going great! Lmao, that was a fun ride:)
as a little bit of a tip or as a request, idk take it as you will i guess but i don't mean it in a rude or malicious way lol, but please if it's not the central part of the story or it's something unrelated to it try not to mention being trans as much, one of the biggest misconceptions in art/literature is concieving trans characters as if they are only described by being trans, and never had any other interests or experiences outside of it. Please, add more substance to their character and give them some hobbies and stories that don't have to do with dysphoria or being trans in itself, we are way more than just trans people. That's my little humble opinion, hope your writing goes well!!
I'm a gay cis guy and 1. all of these things made me question the masculinity of my own behavior (it's not just trans guys that worry about their masculine images! for real), and 2. It made me think about things i say and do that might inadvertently trigger dysphoria in trans people around me. It's important to think about this stuff, so thanks 💙
my weird dysphoria triggers: wearing an apron, having stuffed animals, art, how I sit/sleep, how I hold hands with my gf I have 4 younger brothers. they're all going through (or have gone through) the right puberty the 1st time. it's hard
I wear an apron at work and it used to bother me. I saw something on TV with a cook...he was wearing an apron. I kinda had a weird 'bing' moment where my brain said 'aprons are not feminine...they mean you cook' and now...I even wear an apron when I cook at home, and yes, I probably look a little funny but hey! It keeps sauce off my clothes while I make supper.
@@OhioWolf94 the apron dysphoria is not because I think only women wear aprons. it's because my hips/waist/chest are getting accentuated (or at least I think they are)
@@percygladwell1511 Ah, I guess I feel ya on that end. At work it tends to be 98F to 110F in our kitchen so I dont think anyone notices anything else hahaha. (the joys of baking lol)
The opposite of this tho... The weirdest thing that gives me gender euphoria, is the fact that I have HEART ISSUES???? because I heard men are more likely to have issues with their heart than women so I'm just like "fuck yeeeeeeah"
It's funny, I can wear tank tops, but it all depends on the cut/fit and the color. I have two identical ones that are completely the same except for color. The black one makes me extremely euphoric, the white one gives me dysphoria.
Honestly, the “being around lots of women” one is relatable. It just feels like I only have female friends because they just see me as one of the girls, and whether or not that’s the case, it hurts. Could also be why, despite my bisexuality, I’m more interested in getting a boyfriend than a girlfriend.
I think that watching UA-camrs with a mostly female audience really messes with me. Dysphoria stops me from watching content that I enjoy because I feel like watching said content makes me too feminine.
This!! I watch a pretty popular youtuber with a mostly female audience, and in a recent video she mentioned that no men watch her video killed me a little inside :,,)
@@content6907 man ngl sometimes Mark makes me feel dysphoric because he gives me major gender envy. but watching channels with mainly feminine audiences ruins me because they mess up the ads I get. I stopped watching Brad Mondo for awhile (almost a year) then went back cause I started coloring other people's hairs again. Now all my ads are Loreal makeup, skin care, and perfume for women. I noticed this is from Brad's videos because if I can't skip or report, I'll close the video and retry to get an ad I can do that with. 10 times IN A ROW, I got Loreal ads doing that. And I cannot report them for being repetitive because they were all different products from the same company. Like pls give me gaming or sport ads not baby and makeup.
I wish youtubers wouldn't bring up their analytics like that tbh even though to them it probably doesn't mean anything. on the other hand I do like it when a youtuber mentions they've got a predominantly male audience I'm like yay one of the boys :)
I'm nonbinary so whenever I dress anyway feminine, I get the feeling that I'm not nonbinary enough/at all. I love wearing skirts and dresses because I find them comfortable, but dysphoria is always around the corner to hit me
here's a tip for dresses: wear jumpers, hoodies or big t-shirts over (or under if you want, though i prefer over) your dress and have shorts/cropped trousers/skinny jeans underneath. it keeps the comfort but you can also wear clothes that help your dysphoria if you have any other clothing that makes you feel more comfortable, layer that too! i wear thick, fluffy socks and my favourite hat but i'm sure you have some clothes of your own
I find that wearing bike shorts underneath really helps, also I wear skirts with baggy tops. If you think about it wearing a skirt may actually help to cover your hips more then wearing shorts or pants so keeping that in mind may help
@@lhannam5489 YES absolutely I’m also nb and wearing shorts under dresses feels Iike I’m sneaking being androgynous like haha you thought I was fem presenting but LOOK, POCKETS! MWAHAHAHAHA
7:15 I'm a trans woman and I have a sister who's almost exactly 2 years older than me. While we were growing up I was literally looking at the puberty that I wanted to have but never got, at least not until I started HRT 4 and a half years ago. I should mention that although I was jealous of my sister growing up I do still love her and we're very close as adults.
It’s so interesting to hear the different things that make people dysphoric. For me, most of my dysphoria dissipated when I came out as nonbinary. Although passing as male when I’m nonbinary came with a bunch more dysphoria associated with the fact that the vast majority of people read me as male and don’t even question it, even when I’m actively wearing a they/them pin.
I plan to get to a they/them pin. People constantly read me as female because of my body. Loose fitting clothes isn’t physically comfortable on me, but I don’t wear extremely tight things either. I want a binder so badly, but I’m afraid because I have asthma. 😞 I legitimately want to scream at people when they use gendered pronouns for me...but I silently just die inside and begin to question myself as a non-binary person. I wish people saw us as who we are and not just our parts.
for me it's weird cause I'm an enby but I'm also masc leaning. so I wanna look masc enough so that I look kinda like a boy but I wanna look fem enough so people get confused when they see me (but I never wanna be perceived as a girl). I get euphoria from nail polish and earrings, both of which are considered "fem", but it somehow makes me feel more masculine. for clothes I'm fine with fem bottoms but I hate fem tops. Tge clothes in question also have to never hug my body. the clothes also have to be in a dark palette or it makes me dysphoric. also I'm fine with putting my hair in a bun or in pigtails, but not in a ponytail(which somehow feels more fem than pigtails??). I love makeup but it has to absolutely be dark. piercings in general give me euphoria but they have to be simple rings/studs (I cant stand decorated/cutesy ones unless they're earrings). every shirt I wear has to be boxy and hide most of my arms. I cant wear those stupid fitness clothes that are made out of that weird material. I have so many things that give me euphoria and dysphoria and ngl it's kinda hellish tryna figure it out
@@hideakisorachi3953 omg! I'm so similar to you! I'm very comfortable with fem bottoms (but very specific ones), but not so much for the fem tops(also very specific, must be loose). I absolutely have to have short short hair, I love coloured clothes, and no makeup at all. I enjoy jewelry, but only if it's simple, not too femimnin. It's very complicated! It's actually reasuring to see someone else having a disphoria as complicated as mine.
Seatbelts oh my god. And bags that have long handles you're meant to put over your shoulder on the opposite side. Anything that goes between That Area fucks me up
Seing a piano makes me dysphoric. I once had music teacher tell me I had feminine hands with long, slender fingers perfect for playing piano and it seems to have messed with my brain
the deadname part is so true though. i feel so awkward even talking about fictional characters that have my deadname bc my dysphoria thinks that the person im talking to will ~ psychically sense ~ that the name is connected to me somehow- or in the case of talking to people who know my deadname, that they'll comment on it. thank god it's not a super common name at least.
There's a podcast series and a indie videogame coming out that I want to get into, but they both have my deadname in the title and I can't bring myself to consume that content.
yes! and I make myself even more dysphoric by whispering myself: why did you even react to it? *deadname* is not ur name, no connections. u shouldnt feel anything bout it, u dont know that name.
I feel awkward talking about real people whose real name happens to be the same as my sister’s deadname. And it’s a very common name!!! Luckily most people with that name use a nickname that my sister never did, but the full name is just awkward to say.
i'd love to see a version of this for weird euphoria things. for example when i burp, like hella loud, it's disgusting but i'm still like... :) im so cool now :)
Weird gender euphoria: sharp lighting from multiple angles. I think something about it makes my face and body look more angular which I associate with masculinity, whereas one diffuse light source tends to smooth things out
@@evaerhardt1317 ooooh some shampoos have that.... am i really about to start putting shampoo in my eyebrows and inevitably in my eyes just to get them thicker?.... yes, yes i am
Period products* I've had to fix the labels on so many dispensers and bins for those as a custodian it's not even funny. Like, they bothered to buy new locks for the gender neutral bathrooms but couldn't be bothered to change a sticker?
I have two younger brothers. I started T one week and one day ago. I was born in 2003. My eldest younger brother, is just now a freshman. Watching them BOTH grow taller than me, deeper voices and beards has been hell, and its been harder on me in terms of getting bigendered, because before puberty hits, we've all looked very androgynous - even feminine (we dont usually cut our hair, i was the only boy of the family to do so lol) so normally no one would say anything, but now that im inches shorter, and several pitches higher, its become hard. Im glad im on T when i am. Its taken me years and years, but soon i will be able to say i am adult man, with a name that feels like ive known it a million lifetimes before. Its bad, but its getting better. besides, all 3 of my brothers have always been supportive, and my family doesnt enforce gender roles and never really has. Both I and my oldest younger brother dressed up in princess dressed. But we were more prone to play matchbox cars together. And we didnt have much money, so i wore hand-me-downs from my older brother all the time. I wouldnt have traded the experience for the world at the end of it all, because i know they are there for me. And we are brothers. I wonder, if it has been painful for them too.
i feel you man ): as the 5’5 older brother watching my younger brother grow to 5’10 has been painful to say the least…especially when extended family always comments on how big he’s gotten but doesn’t have anything to say about me 😞 we will make it through
I'm the eldest of two younger brothers, (my baby bro is like 4 rn) my middle bro started high-school and is 14 and you're right when it's pain. I feel so envious and jealous especially since I won't be able to take hormones till I'm independent from my family which could take ages
As a cis gay man I just want to say 1) Ty you’re gorgeous (do me, you hunk) and 2) so many of these things worry cis men too (is my voice deep enough/do I walk like a man/do I talk with my hands/etc?). As one gets OLDER one starts to realise that external standards of behaviour and external measures of masculinity are irrelevant. It is only you who can decide and judge who you are. Certainly, the trans men I have had affairs/encounters with have been men...whatever their behaviours/transitional status has been. Your concern about manliness is not a uniquely trans thing, but a wider problem with our society’s stuff about masculinity, I think. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much. Seeing a gay dude compliment a trans dude feels...affirming? Gives me hope? Anyway. Thank you for the assurance that worrying about being masculine enough is not just a trans experience.
The cleanliness ones really highlight how as an entire society we have to be willing to keep our space clean& Stop looking to women to 'keep house.' Cleaning has been pointlessly gendered by the patriarchy when it is a basic ADL (activity of daily living)
One time a gas station attendant put air in my truck's tires instead of letting me do it and my brain immediately was like its because he thinks you're a woman
The hand movements, gesticulating (lol) is something I immediately associate with my Greek ex bf. Idk Mediterranean cultures gesticulate A LOT while speaking and he was one of the most macho dudes I knew. So idk what other people are on but I read it as pretty masculine 🤷🏻♀️
It's actually more about the person and how they present themselves. I for instance as an INFP(mbti personality type) use too much of my hand to transfer my message because I'm not very good at speaking and use mostly body language.And I've seen many other infps do this too and aside from all of this mbti stuff, body language is just a way of better communication and you should be proud of doing that!
Can confirm, like here in Italy we talk with our hands a lot (yeah, that stereotype came from somewhere) and I've never heard anyone consider gesticulating a feminine trait (like maybe flapping your hands a certain way could be seen as "girly" or "gay", but just gesticulating in general is something 90% of the population does)
@@gferraro2916 "gay" /="girly". Gay men are men, if you didn't know. Speaking of cultures, Roman empire and Ancient Greece praised male homosexuality, and they were hella masculine. Also there are plenty of heterosexual dudes who are girly.
@@Wasp239 they said or, and I feel like the quotes they used implied that these aren't beliefs they hold about the gestures themselves? You are coming across quite combative right off the bat. I'm sure G Ferraro doesn't need their cultural history explained to them either. Idk I think you're just taking quite an uncharitable interpretation of a comment that was directly addressing the concerns Ty raised about what he thought hand gestures came across as.
I use my hands a lot when I talk. My first language was sign language, so I don't have a problem with the fact that I do it (I actually have to do it to remember some words, and I can't explain something unless I'm actively showing you what's happening through gestures-it's cool bc people have said that they understand when I explain things way better than when other people explain them the same way verbally, but it sucks to try and talk on the phone or through text), and when people comment on it, I just throw that fact at them and move on with my life.
Rosie Reschke Usually when there’s wind, it presses my shirt against my body and you can tell I’m wearing a binder, and often you can see a bit of a lump
Reminder: your gender identity is valid. There are many ways to express your gender . No one else is focusing on every aspect of your apperance. Dysphoria is tough, the replies are a safe space if u need it
As an NB, mine is definitely flying. It's because where I live the government hasn't caught up with NB existing, so all the tickets have Mr./Miss/Ms./Mrs. prominently before the name.
Idk who you are, I just stumbled apon this video, but you give me like "your cool brother who goes to college and came over to visit over the weekend and hangs out with you, tells you college stories like that one time when his buddy Ricky decided to put a mento in his mouth and wash it down with soda. Also this is all set in like the 80's or something (idk I think it's the checkered wall and flamingo) " vibes. Ya know?
Im non-binary. Things letting me feel disphoric: How to use Smileys/Emoticons. Not drinking beer (or any drinks with alcohol), not doing drungs. Breestfeeding. When someone is sexist and I feel personally attacked. Liking Burgundry/wine red.
oh god the feeling personally attacked thing yes. like, don't call me a woman i'll cringe so hard internally, but i still get so angry when people are sexist arseholes
When someone is being sexist and I'm getting so mad about it because I feel personally attacked until I realise that if I say something I would be doing women's work and that could be offensive but at the same time everyone thinks I'm a woman so they're attacking me, but they're not. So complicated, lots of dysphoria.
My brother is 6yo and seeing his very boyish childhood and having toys and having friends who are boys makes me irrationally jealous. I don't hate him, but sometimes I feel like I don't want to be around him or hear about his day because it makes me feel bad or like I missed out on childhood experiences I should've/wished I had
Is this another way of how genders are hurting us? I'm thinking maybe if we didn't have all these "girl things" or "boys things" it would be a lot easier. Also, why do we need to be so distinctive between a binary concept?
sleeping positions, my brain always goes: this is how females sleep, now be hyperaware of your body another one i get is that i hate feeling my binder because then i'm more aware of my chest because its pressing on it. my brain hates me
Oh, nonono, don't sleep with your binder on! It can be potentially hurtful for you, please take care :"( I hope your dysphoria gets better, sending all good vibes!✨
So many of these are so relatable. I'm pre-op and even pre HRT but I got clocked as male at my new job, and now I'm hyper aware of all my mannerisms (pun intended) and if I'm acting like an actual guy on a crew of all men.
im non-binary, but i have the worst luck and my body is super fem, and i only realized recently, so a little while ago i tried to wear a skirt cause i thought "hey, im non-binary, and skirts are fun" well, i looked in the mirror and had my first full on disphoric panic attack, so i made a blanket fort and cried
A safe zone blanket fort. I've got to use that sometimes I feel you though. I'm FTM and I hate skirts with a passion. I'd always try to put myself in situations to not wear one
A strange dysphoria trigger I get is thinking I don’t have enough dysphoria? It’s weird but this video helped me so much- though having a lot of dysphoria doesn’t seem good, it just confirms that I do truly know who I am
Me too. The first time I read up on the definition of disphoria as causing "intense distress" I was like, "No! I don't feel distress that's a feminine emotion." Then I fell into a slump since I didn't feel "distress" and therefore couldn't really be trans.
@@daychild_ dysphoria does not have to kill you to make you valid. you are valid as a trans person, no matter if you feel a lot of dysphoria or just a little, other people do not get to determine if you are trans enough. you also dont have to suffer every single day to be considered real, i know this casts a lot of self doubt if you feel like you dont suffer enough,but you dont have to suffer to prove anything. Cis people are the kind of people that will demand that trans people suffer everyday and deal with so much hate, just to be seen as real and somehow deserving of it. Trans people like me (and others in the community) will welcome you with open arms, we dont see you as fake nor attention seeking. You will always be welcome in our community. social dysphoria sucks a lot (i have that one) - as i am always seen as feminine and i am just nonbinary and do want to be seen as neutral. I kinda went on a rant, but this is what i needed (and i received from older trans people), validation and acceptance. Some of them sent up stuff similar to what i said to you and it helped me a lot when i was doubting myself. So im returning the kindness i received, spreading along words that may help you as well.
I'm a cis male and the walking one still hits me hard sometimes like, I'm walking and I find myself thinking "Stop swaying your hips so much, my dude," and I just feel really weird for the next few minutes or until I get where I need to be.
7:18 i'm an only child but most of my closest friends are cis guys and knowing them since around/before the start of puberty, hearing their voices drop n shit really gets to me :")
my weirdest trigger is the fact that I have small ear canals.... One day my doctor said, "You have small ear canals," and I've latched on to that for some reason
I can't use the plates with flowers on them .... all the other dudes in my house use them and don't even think about it but I have to get the stripey one.
As a child before I knew about me being trans I only ate from the blue plate of the breakfast set. I even made a fuss at family dinners about it. Now I realize why and it is still a running Gag in my family.🙈
We have cups in purple, blue and pink and purple and blue are my parents fav colours so they generally use them and whenever my parents make me a glass of water in a pink cup I get dysphoric. My father used to do it all the time but I think he picked up on it because I made an effort to always give it to him if I was making drinks.
The length of my fingernails was never an issue for me, but from my perspective there are two types of fingernails. Some have nails that lay on top of the finger and others have nails that are more embedded in the finger. Having embedded nails always made me disphoric. It has nothing to do with gender or sex but it makes my disphoria go boom.😵
My guitar professor is tall masc guy but because he plays classical guitar his fingernails are LITERALLY a half an inch long and so well upkept that it made ME dysphoric for not manicuring my nails? Like I trim and file them now, thought they're still short. He looks so professional and I wanna be taken seriously like he is ig? 😂
My two cis brothers take so little care of their nails (cut to shape once a while and that's it, just let them grow to the point where it's getting harder to do stuff) that they are _always_ longer than mine, a cis girl actively trying to grow my nails longer. It's almost like the structure is way stronger and doesn't bother them, they don't need to worry breaking their nails like I do. So I've always been jealous to them about well growing strong nails, it's a quite a guy thing for me. Don't know if that's anything worth saying but just for a different viewpoint maybe. I do know it's hugely individual how the nails grow and has rarely any gendered logic to that. I know there are girls who have flat and almost sideways growing nails, and boys with the most perfect c-curve and almond shaped smileline. How they are cut (are they cut to the shortest possible lenght or is there some white part left there), contact with water, diet and things like dry/moisturized cuticles affect how the nail grows. It's a puzzle.
As a straight guy this video is interesting to me bc all of the triggers are either weirdly specific things that nobody would really notice or something that is only really exclusive to a stereotypical man, which admittedly must be annoying in areas where these stereotypes are more heavily enforced societally
Okay, so the getting kicked in the balls things; SAME! I feel like that has the same energy as trans girls being jealous of cis girls having their periods even though it can be excruciating
The brother thing is so relatable. I have a brother who is about my age and seeing him develop and becoming more masculine and looking more like a man every year fucking kills me. He is 17 and I’m 16
@Earl Jones They’re selfish because they’re dysphoric...? Lol. Why’re you rapid firing replying to people’s comments on this video just to be a dick to people. Fucking weird.
this !!! i totally get it. im 18 and my brother is 15. watching him have mood swings, yell, get acne, all of that, makes me SO jealous. like, i know that i should also be having that happen, but it isnt and it f's with me a lot. i 100000% feel for you.
My brothers always been tall and broad and I was always the opposite. Doesnt bother me anymore but being known as the small one used to kill me while he got praised for being tall and strong.
@@spencerfry6395 yeah, I get that. My brother is like 10cm taller than me, he is short for being a guy (I think he is 5’6 or 5’5 idk) and I’m 5’2 :) life can be amazing lol
13:47 no because my dad deadass says only women and children should use umbrellas. now it’s an inside joke between me and my sister, if we do anything masculine we say “i’m a manly man i don’t need an umbrella or anything”
Someone once told me it must have been my hat when I corrected them when they misgendered me. Never wore that hat. Can cis people stop making excuses for misgendering people.
I had a similar experience. Some lady at school knew I was trans and first complimented me on how much I looked like a guy, but then added how the fact that I had dyed hair might be the only thing that could give it away. I went back to my natural hair color as soon as I could lmao
It's weird, but what helped me with my "cleaning dysphoria" was thinking about characters like Schmidt from New Girl or Monk who were very much clean, very men, and very much themselves without (too much) criticism from others. In a lot of ways, they were actually praised for their cleanliness!
ik what you mean about wanting to be a nice and considerate person and also being masculine. i try to remind myself that all the guys i have the most respect for care more about being a good person than their pride tho
When you're peeing the most anyone thinks is "Is that guy sitting to pee?" I only really use restrooms at the bar so I'm guessing they just think I'm really drunk. Edit: there is most likely no one questioning if you are trans.
Honestly you'd be surprised how many cis men like to pee sitting but only don't because there's a stigma. There are so many that do it but will never admit to it.
As an agender person, I find it so sad that people feel uncomfortable with themselves because they don't conform to arbitrary gender roles. I wish all the gender dysphoric folks out there luck with accepting themselves and their body.
I tend to fluctuate between agender and trans masc, in my sense of self, and I do definitely act like a guy, dress like a guy, and I'm on T because it makes me feel "right" in my head and body. But that being said, when I'm in an agender sense of self, that's where I have the most comfort with myself because I'm like eh, it's a body 🤷
sup fellow agender person. im still on the journey of acceptance, but your words made me smile a little. i like about 95% of my body now, th only thing that bothers me is nipples
Sup agender folks. My brain is just out to get me. Bathrooms are bad and public changing rooms are worse, and my brain is weird about pockets and shoes and v necks are so bad. And this isn’t even gendered stuff what the fuck
Can we talk about euphoria triggers next? Mine is watching a video about dysphoria triggers and relating to all of them, makes me feel like a valid trans
My god, same. Also no show socks? I know they are supposed to be the most comfortable for running cross country but like.... nope, I can't gotta be tall.
I have a bunch of weird dysphoria triggers • going to the dollar store with my grandfather. • looking at makeup with my mother • just, sitting in the shower for too long sometimes • being in my dad’s garage where he fixes cars Honestly this list could go on for days
I have nephews and it makes me so dysphoric. Little boys doing boy stuff makes me jealous and little girls doing girls stuff makes me weridly sick. I originally had only nieces and people said they were so like me and I agreed they sorta looked like me as a kid but like them doing girly stuff and wearing dresses was so repulsive to me I did not like the comparison. Now I have nephews and now I suddenly understand why I felt that because when I see the nephews I am upset in a different way where I see similarities in us but I see them getting accepted and encouraged and compared to my dad who I always got on with better but died when I was 5. It makes me sorta wanna cry about my childhood.
@Earl Jones I mean jealousy is bad but I don't try and punish the children or deprive them of something so I'm not sure about selfish. Perhaps you mean self-absorbed? That is definitely true. There's no good reason for me to project myself into children instead of just appreciating them being happy.
Dude I get that so hard, like just watching little kids being little kids and knowing that no matter how hard you try you wont get what they have. I have a younger bother and watching him grow up has been good because I love him but hurts so much seeing how differently he is treated everyday and just knowing that I never got the same childhood he did
@Earl Jones I mean yes we all should be more grateful for what we have I agree. But you can say sth like that to literally any complaint. "Oh you have -insert disease- oh be fucking thankful you don't have cancer". Its sorta dumb. But also yes complaining constantly is also really dumb. It's all about not getting caught up in it.
@Earl Jones unfortunately I was a little girl that did exclusively boy stuff by nature and got in trouble because of it. I never did little girl stuff ever. So I dunno how you explain that with your theory.
i havent watch trans related content and a while and I forgot how relatable this is and like how there's so many people who feel the same things that I do that I feel bad about
When something I, a gay trans man, like is memed as being a way to identify lesbians - "If you like Hozier you're probably a lesbian" that kind of thing
@Earl Jones Keep it to yourself and get off my comment
I feel you so bad my man- I was talking to my lesbian friend and she was like “lmao wearing a flannel is the epitome of lesbian culture”
*me, looking down at my flannel* “ahahah never thought about it like that”
I FEEL THIS! I'm a GayAce trans man and someone said "Liking flannels means you're a lesbian." And like...I just like flannels????? I'm still a man-
s a m e
@Earl Jones ever heard of lesbians smart guy
my birthname is a month. so i get dysphoria for an entire month, just being constantly reminded of my birthname.
i also get dysphoria from wearing binders, oddly enough, cause i can feel the material against my chest, and im afraid people will look at me in my binder and be like "yeah, youre still a woman, no matter how hard you try to hide your body."
My dead name is very close to being Christmas.... So I feel your pain. I'm glad that shit is over now until hopefully November.
my dead name basically means heaven
im not religious at all so its kinda funny to me
my dead name is another word for a season, its rarely used but when it is i just want to throw a toaster into a bath
My dead name is a famous place/landmark, it sucks seeing it in news articles and such
@@wondering.why. oh that sucks so much ass
I think my oddest dysphoria trigger is being mlm. I’m Bi and lean more towards men and I’m constantly having to convince myself that finding men attractive isn’t a feminine thing.
Use the cis-het logic against the dysphoria. Men are supposed to be manly, what's more manly than loving another man? If a man loves another man that's so manly. (Warning may have adverse side-effects, cis-het ideas are strange and dangerous)
I mean, you are what you eat so don't worry about it.
Same
@@mme.veronica735 thats actually a cool way to think about it
it's not Masculine either.
I feel dysphoric if my hands are above my waist. If I'm holding a cup or my dog's leash, I'm like "Men don't hold things????"
Also sitting down, and my thighs look bigger.
oooff yeah thighs are a big one for me and it also triggers my body dysmorphia for some extra fun
I don't know if it'll help, but just imagine some '70s or '80s office worker guy or boss, undoubtedly they will be holding a coffee mug on a Monday with a tie over a very boring and bland but professional shirt
I could not think of a more traditionally masculine thing
big thighs look good on everyone don't worry bro
this is so so real and “men don’t hold things????” is killing me
"Men don't hold things" lmao
I get that
I'm cis, but suddenly high-pitched "polite voice" is such a mood
Yeah, as a ciswoman my voice goes higher when talking to strangers/ on the phone. I think it's just what humans do... Or maybe it's the anxiety of the situation. I don't know. But it just happens. All the time.
Many men do the same (myself included). My theory is that it's to do with unconsciously trying to sound more actively invested in the conversation while being more aware of your inflection. Like how when you're being lazy and unbothered you tend to speak in a lower register. I kinda feel I come across as rude or cross when I just deadpan my voice on the phone.
Does anyone know if there's an actual explanation for this?? I'm curious now.
i worked at build a bear for almost two years and by the end the “talking to small children” on top of the standard customer service voice, i sounded like fucking minnie mouse so i feel this
I blame being a kind hearted punk for that. But I am also sorta non binary 🤷🏻♀
both of these things are also a mood
One time I was sitting in my bedroom and my brain was like "is this a boys bedroom? You have posters and shit on ur walls that's not a boys bedroom!!" Literally what tf does that mean brain.
I get dysphoric over my room being clean........ -_-
@@nikolasslead6582 not a problem for me, my room is never clean. But apparently being a nerd and expressing my nerdiness with posters and banners is somehow not masculine to my brain???
I got some stuff from family form when I was younger and pre transition and some is more girly and I got stuffed animal s still. When a dude once shared he loved animals ( cis dude adult age) I felt a bit better lol and he actually cuddles them
@@myrkflinn4331 oh my god that actually helps a lot I've collected plushies from cons I've been to and stuff and that makes me dysphoric sometimes.
I hate my room man, my house is super old so my bedroom is pink and has flowers all over the walls and ceiling, it looks ok but it's the kind of room you'd expect from a grandma, also got curtains with a floral pattern. My saving grace are some painting that look badass and a gothic style closet, plus all my stuff, but it doesn't really help with the color issues.
My dead-name is a name of a month, and every year I have to live through everyone saying my dead-name all the time, referring to the month. It gives me a small heart attack every damn time.
That must suck! Also Felix is a sick name btw
@@jw844 Thanks! I could never decide on a name until I saw Felix on a list of baby names, and right away felt like it fit me so well.
@@felix7937 I love the name Felix so much, it’s always been one of my favorites along with Arthur.
Bruhhh
Less, but my deadname is a flower and anytime the flower is referenced a little part of me dies.
As a transfemme one of my weird euphoria triggers is jean pockets, men’s pockets don’t tend to have cutesy designs and stuff while women’s pockets do (at least sometimes). I remember the first pair of women’s jeans I wore had a heart design on the pockets and I couldn’t stop smiling for like ten minutes after I first put them on.
Rip pocket square footage
@@will928 lmao trans masc here, first pair of mens pants I spent a solid hour going around showing off my “big manly pockets”
Ooooh, that sounds like something I would like! So far I've just been wearing skirts because skirts are much more forgiving in their sizing, and I've been buying online because I'm too chicken to go to a store and try stuff on. But eventually I should get myself some women's jeans. I like things with cutesy feminine designs!
@@iluvlittenanimations2.010 sAME BECAUSE THEY'RE SO BIG
I CAN FIT A WHOLE ASS PAPERBACK NOVEL IN THEREEEEEE
I think it's interesting that you like women's pockets because for a lot of women they're such a bother
I'm a trans guy and as soon as I got my first pair of men's jeans I was like "Woah, so this is how the other side lives???!!"
When I write in my journal, I say “dear book” instead of “dear diary” bc that shit makes me so dysphoric ik that’s kinda weird
Edit: (thx so much for the likes & comments guys! y’all r funny lmao)
I just write the date. hehe
“Dear book” is fucking hilarious thank you for that
"dear book" sounds nice I'm gonna be using that from now on lol
When I was keeping a journal, I named the book Turtle and would write, "hi turtle"
Never had a diary simply because my only my sisters had them.
Here's a weird one of mine: Not being hungry or eating slowly just gives me intense dysphoria
Why’s that?
@@gracev8762 Honestly idk, probably because cis guys are typically more hungry? It has to do with strength I guess
@@partly_disconnected ohh haha that’s understandable, although I doubt anyone else would notice or care lol
I have no clue if this makes this better or worse, I thought if anything not eating enough would be a "female" thing because as a presenting fem who's skinny, I get so many comments about my body and how girls should be skinny and that bs.
I mean that's just a whole lot of issues combined in one :/ I hope your dysphoria realizes how dumb it is, you're hella valid
Me, a trans person who struggles to eat at all:
hehehe...heh...
lisenting to a lot of male singers and not being able to sing like them cause my voice isn't deep enough
THIS
SAME
Yeahh it just sounds like ur trying to harmonise with them but in a much higher pitch :(
You are enough, diversity is the most beautiful thing on humans🤍
This
I am a GNC trans man so it's hard to relate to most of these (pretty happy about my body except for my actual female parts) but I totally felt the "having my chest be referred to as female terms"
Never call my chest boobs, tits, breasts, whatever else. It's so gross to me and I'm sure many trans men hate that. It also words for my lower area as well. I don't even like referring to it at all, just pretend I am a Ken doll down there.
SAME
Same
As a GNC trans man, after some months of hrt I almost have no dysphoria, but I now do when girls ask me to go with them to the girl's bathroom. Like, not even if the men's bathroom is full and I just get to the girl's bathroom. Only when I am asked for it
@@tiredcatman7381 wow does hrt really do that for you? I can’t wait to start that sounds amazing
I'm fine with most "gendered" terms for chest and genitals because my partner liberally uses them as well (cis amab). He'll just randomly go "our tits look bomb today" and I'm suddenly just..."fUCK YEAH THEY DO"
In my English class this year we are covering the book where my mom named me after the main character. This is gonna be real fun having to see my deadname every day because she's literally the main character.
Saaaammmmeeee. What I did is I deadass just picked the male leads name but I’m still closeted but problem solved I guess??
my deadnames a president who blew up shit so like euphoria points cuz its a dude but i want to know wtf my parents were thinking naming me that-
Six months later ... hope that worked out for you. That was a really good post, anyway.
omg yes, I was also named after a book character and I want to read the series bc I know it's rly good but like I also don't want to see my deadname every sentence. I thought about choosing the male love interest's name but it has kind of an ugly sound and doesn't fit me, and also would get shorted to an extremely common name which I don't like so.
My middle name is from the gilmore girls, I get it man, but my first name is one of those neutral names
My heartbeat makes me dysphoric because once in science the teacher said that women’s hearts beat faster
OOF yeah any gender things ever mentioned in a science class hit different (i'm a biostatistician now, because... i hate myself?)
That doesn't make sense. I'm in college level science and that has never been told to me. I think your teacher is just bad at science. Sort of like when a teacher thinks trans people don't exist.
That's not true, it's that your heartbeat tends to be faster the smaller you are. Has nothing to do with sex. So don't worry!
whenever i bump my hip against the counter or somethin, wearing those little ankle socks
omg socks yes
Oh my god you are not psychoanalyzing my love of high socks rn hshdhdhd
baguette IM SO SORRY
holy cow I hate ankle socks
Not dysphoria, but a euphoria trigger. I'm MtF, and despite having no large changes in weight, and never weighing more than 60 kg: I've developed stretch marks on my sides and back, and my mind just associates stretch marks with being feminine ig, so I just feel so nice knowing that they're there.
as a trans guy with stretch marks on my lower regions I’ll happy hand mine over to you 😫 it’s not so much the stretch marks themselves but where they are located on my body that makes me ANGERY 😤
@@masonthejar8890 I'm so sorry! I'll happily take them!
I've never heard someone associate stretch marks with something positive, that's so sweet!
I support feminism but I can’t call myself a feminist because of how much dysphoria it gives me oof.
Fr fr i get that im a feminist but i fear people are going to assume im a girl if i comment on that stuff
WHY IS THIS-- UGH ITS TRUE 😭
Bruh what fr this made me anti-feminist back in like 2015 when that was "cool" and i was well on the alt-right pipeline because I thought feminism and social justice was all like TERF shit and just for girls 😭😭 wish I'd just realised it was dysphoria and found trans spaces first but I was too busy being an edgelord lol. Even now when people talk about misogyny specifically I have to peace out because it gives major dysphoria
During a heated argument, my father mimicked my "feminine" gestures and voice, which gets higher pitched when I'm upset. It has scarred me, and I still get dysphoric over this mere thought.
Weirder one, writing a word in all caps makes me feel dysphoric.
Thanks for posting this video. It helped, in a way.
My family used to mock me and call me Minnie Mouse when I got mad. So, now that character makes me dysphoric! :(
@@arnhood I feel you...
@Gamer I’m so sorry to hear that, that’s awful. Don’t feel like you have to change yourself to prove her wrong though; that was just a bitch move from her :(
@Gamer how would she know what is motherly? Her making you upset on purpose sounds kind of abusive and not like a good mother
Man that really sucks. I'm cis and don't experience dysphoria, but I do often feel ashamed of exhibiting "feminine" behaviour because of assholes like your dad. I changed my laugh, the cadence of my speech, the way I gesture, walk and hold myself because of it when I was going through puberty.
sometimes calling people she/her triggers my dysphoria or for just a second I feel like I've misgendered that person
SAME!! i thought i was the only one xD
I saw a similar comment to this earlier, so your definitely not alone! I'm not enby, I'm cis, but that honestly bothers me too. Like why can't in that instance the word "they" or like "their" be used instead. Like it even using less letters/symbols when "they" is fully spelled out vs. when "she/he" is fully spelled out
WTF same
Dude saaaaaaaaame
SAME! Anytime I use she/her for anything or even hear it, it hurts my soul
Oh my goodness, this is the most relatable video I have EVER seen. My weirdest dysphoria trigger is probably hugs. The way the person kinda presses up against your chest and usually has like an arm near your hips... ughh. I literally either refuse hugs or just hold myself as far away from my arm as physically possible and then the other person just thinks I hate them or am an anti social freak... which I mean I am..
Hugs dont seem so weird as a dysphoria trigger, when you are pressed against someones chest you get to feel to much about what the other person has or does not have. When i got hugged before i got super aware some people were very flat (i envied them) and i was not (made me sad af). Im now flat and i still dont like being hugged tho
that lyrics from the demi lovato song “heart attack” where she says “you make me wanna act like a girl” like i physically cannot finish the phrase
THIS dude i just....can not sing along to that part
SERIOUSLY CERTAIN SONGS GIVE ME MAJOR DYSPHORIA-
There’s a song I love that I sing along to like every day in my car... but one line is “I’m a controversial lady” and I physically cannot get the whole line out
Deadass. I love the song but the part comes on and I'm there like: :/.
PLEASE I CANT EVEN THINK ABT IT WITHOUT GOING CRAZY
As a trans guy with an older brother i can confirm it's terrible, i see what i could've looked like and i compare our features all the time 😭
Same bro 🥲🤚 I got two older brothers (whom I hate) one of em kinda looks like me and although he’s ugly fodjdobi I still feel as though that could’ve been me :0 and the other one has a deep as voice and as someone with the highest and most feminine sounding voice- it just kinda sucks ig idk but hang in there losjdoddjdp Lmaooooo
Saaammmmeee. My little brother is kind of a 'phobe, so he always gives me weird looks when I try not to sound feminine. I frking hate it because, around him, I can't even be myself. I feel like I have to play straight/cis just to keep him comfortable around me.
@@victormorris5872 this.
I also have an older brother. He normally doesn't trigger my dysphoria except when he walks around shirtless. Then my brain goes fuck, I could have had that. The same goes for his height. He's relatively short by men's standards, but he's still taller than me
I used to be taller than my younger brother for years, then he’s suddenly become like too damn tall and my 5’4 ass is constantly wearing my 3 inch heels to try and combat it but I’m still too short and I scream
ohhhh my god. the mention of water bottles triggering dysphoria unlocked this weird ass memory.
at primary school (so like 4-11 yrs), all the boys would tilt their water bottles to the side as they drank from them (like rather than it going straight in front of their noses it would cover one eye) and it made me so self-conscious about how i drank water in an un-masculine way so i altered my drinking habits to do it in the “boy” way.
i changed how i drank w a t e r !! wtf??
off topic, but i love your profile pic :D
@@vriannewojtowicz8408 ayyyyyy thanks :D
Pregnancy and baby related ads trigger my dysphoria for the exact opposite reason, cause I can’t give birth and those ads always makes me unbelievably sad.
Most of these sound exactly like the "am I masculine enough" anxiety I go through (the way I hold cups, moving my arms too much, being too expressive in emails, how I sit/cross legs, how I stand). I'm a cis man.
I'm cis, but I really struggled with identifying as a "Man" for a long time after puberty, it felt like that was a word that described people who had jobs and wives and cars, and not incidentally also looked like they were advertising for Gilette. Oddly I never felt concerned about whether I was *acting* manly enough and I even - I swear without thinking at all deeply about it - bought women's clothes (tasteful, rustic or weird rather than Womensy I guess) a few times for parties (years later though, I am slightly annoyed I never tried drag lol). I wonder now if I'd have come to identify as nonbinary if the option had come up - as it is, I just kinda buried it.
@@storageheater you should really look into that more !
@@miadeadinelectrical7526
Yeah, I’ve felt the same way in the past.
Nothing wrong with being in touch with your feminine side
Your dog knows it’s you. They’re smart enough, rely on smell more than sight, and your dog loves you
And if your dog was with you through your transition it probably just thought you grew up to be a man!
@@kadables1823 this makes me so happy
12:50
I have a gender neutral compliment that I got from my band director.
*Snazzy*
He always says we look snazzy in our band uniforms before concerts as a little way to boost confidence.
I love the word snazzy
i personally like swag
I have autism, and for some reason I lift my pinky when I drink tea, water, milk, coffee, or anything else. It makes the dysphoria brain go crazy, even though my cis dad, uncle, and grandpa all do it too
i do the pinky thing too!! i never thought of it as a girl thing, just a fancy thing lmao
“Girls have freckles in their wrist and that gives me dysphoria”
AMAB enbie here. My wrist has a freckle on it and I had an actual dopamine rush of euphoria. Does that make it like the Uno reverse card of weird gender euphoria triggers?
same here
I have tics and AMAB people are more likely to have them so when I remember that I'm like "Yes, I am boi" jjsjakakka.
@@jamieisnotokay3298 i appreciate that cool fact i have tics too and did not know that. that makes me happy, thank you
What is amab enby? Just curious..
@@stacefaceee9976 Somebody who was assigned male at birth but transitioned to be non binary :)
UMBRELLA MAKES SENSE!! EVERY CIS GUY I KNOW WHEN ITS RAINING IS LIKE “NO I DONT HAVE AN UMBRELLA IM NOT GAY/A GIRL” LIKE WH A T
As someone who gets sick very easily I can't understand not having an umbrella. Like what??
fellas, is it gay to stay dry
Once I had an umbrealla with me, but I walked through the rain with it in my hand, because 1) other guys had no umbrealla; 2) it was green and with birds. Nobody asked me about that, but I know it looked really weird
This is so interesting so many things that are gendered without realizing it. I’m a cis female engaged to a cis male and I look pretty feminine and he looks extremely masculine but we have the opposite kind of personality’s. I’m stern and loud, he’s soft and quiet, I drink espresso, he drinks fruit smoothies, I’m a fighter, he’s a lover, I’m pretty unemotional, he’s sensitive, I drink whiskey he drinks fruity cocktails, I watch action movies and he loves romantic comedies, He was in band and I did martial arts and man does the list go on. A lot of people mix up our drink orders and shit because of the “unspoken gender rules”. Then to just throw another wrench in “normal gender” stuff we both like cars and ballet, we go straight from the dance studio to the auto parts store. Some days we are building cars and fixing up houses and other days we are facemasking and doing pedicures.
This is just precious! Like a huge FU to the norms. I bet it must be infuriating at times and maybe even awkward in some situations. But I'd just take such pride in proving people wrong with their expectations! If not out loud, at least quietly by myself. It feels so bad to think how many people postpone happiness and pleasure just because some invisible rule tells us it's not okay to enjoy certain things.
This is wholesome, I hope you're both happy and together forever 💖💖💖
You sound like such a cute couple
This is so precious 🥺
This gives me all the happy feels. The straights really ARE okay sometimes. 💕
Things that don’t fail to make me feel dysphoric: my family (specifically my mom) making uncomfortable jokes towards my body, poking my chest, and making sex jokes 🙂
Gotta love living with conservative “Christian” parents
Oh dear lord I get that
My dad in particular makes a lot of comments about my female-ness that wouldn't be the same if he saw me as his son. Ex. Insisting on being chivalrous, constantly talking about me being "married off", threatening to kill any boy who looks at me, etc.
But my brother (also trans) sometimes punches me in the chest, which hurts but is excellent for erasing chest dysphoria.
I hear you. My conservative Christian mom is always calling me a beautiful lady. GRRRRRR
one of mine is being called handsome, because I think of handsome as a square and masculine man, and when people call me it I either feel like I’m being treated like a little boy or like people are trying too hard to validate me because I don’t actually pass
also that whole “did you know that men and women have different centers of gravity??!!” pain
@@justanotheranimationchanne5725 idk where my center of gravity is, and for the sake of my health, imma keep it that way.
@@justanotheranimationchanne5725 I have scoliosis so my center of gravity is all over the place.
Guess that explains why I'm enby lol.
God that hit me in the feels.
I KNOW RIGHT?? also whenever someone tries to pull the center of mass thing on me i fail anyways because i’m ✨built terribly anyways✨
As a nonbinary person, sometimes things just feel gendered even if they aren’t at all and it’s wild. It’s more names though, because I’m still looking for name suggestions, and someone will say a name that’s meant to be gender neutral, and I’ll feel like ‘no that name’s male or female not neither’
Edit: So turns out I’m just a dude and my name’s Teddy now :)
I really struggled with my name (I'm nonbinary as well) eventually I just went for the simplest name I could find that I consider to be a gender neutral version of my birth name (my preferred name is Ell)
Ok but is it just me or do names like Blake, Drew, Alex, Brooklyn and Hunter feel STRICTLY male, and the names Riley, Bailey, Taylor, Avery and Jordan are STRICTLY female????
Like I get ridiculously pissed off when they're recommended so I just said screw it, my name's Plague 🙄🤌
i see Alex as neutral because of minecraft Alex and Jordan as also neutral because of captainsparklez,,,i like minecraft okay
When I was picking my name, I realised that Spencer from iCarly and Spencer from Pretty Little Liars were different genders but they were both my favourite character so I was like YOINK that's my name now 😳
Well my name is max which works for both girls and boys. But some people go by sock, brick, rox etc
*me, a cis writter who is creating their first trans character and is trying to understand dysphoria watching this video*
✍️dysphoria✍️is✍️like✍️that✍️friend✍️that✍️has✍️the✍️one✍️story✍️ that✍️they✍️always✍️want✍️to✍️tell✍️...
edit (after a year): guys... turns out... not as cis as i thought... ANYWAYS the book is going great! Lmao, that was a fun ride:)
I just wanna say that it's super cool that you're making a trans character and I appreciate it :)
I agree with Toby and it means a lot that you're putting in the effort to understand what its like being trans so you can write a more accurate story!
yesss same!! I just want to make sure my character is accurate because there's never too much good representation :]
as a little bit of a tip or as a request, idk take it as you will i guess but i don't mean it in a rude or malicious way lol, but please if it's not the central part of the story or it's something unrelated to it try not to mention being trans as much, one of the biggest misconceptions in art/literature is concieving trans characters as if they are only described by being trans, and never had any other interests or experiences outside of it. Please, add more substance to their character and give them some hobbies and stories that don't have to do with dysphoria or being trans in itself, we are way more than just trans people. That's my little humble opinion, hope your writing goes well!!
You should send a link to purchase the book when its done hahah
I'm a gay cis guy and 1. all of these things made me question the masculinity of my own behavior (it's not just trans guys that worry about their masculine images! for real), and 2. It made me think about things i say and do that might inadvertently trigger dysphoria in trans people around me. It's important to think about this stuff, so thanks 💙
❤️
Thank you for thinking about us
my weird dysphoria triggers: wearing an apron, having stuffed animals, art, how I sit/sleep, how I hold hands with my gf
I have 4 younger brothers. they're all going through (or have gone through) the right puberty the 1st time. it's hard
umbrella dude, I feel you!
I wear an apron at work and it used to bother me. I saw something on TV with a cook...he was wearing an apron. I kinda had a weird 'bing' moment where my brain said 'aprons are not feminine...they mean you cook' and now...I even wear an apron when I cook at home, and yes, I probably look a little funny but hey! It keeps sauce off my clothes while I make supper.
Even before I knew I was trans, I never even liked touching an apron because it's what my sisters would use to cook when my brothers never did.
@@OhioWolf94 the apron dysphoria is not because I think only women wear aprons. it's because my hips/waist/chest are getting accentuated (or at least I think they are)
@@percygladwell1511 Ah, I guess I feel ya on that end. At work it tends to be 98F to 110F in our kitchen so I dont think anyone notices anything else hahaha. (the joys of baking lol)
The opposite of this tho... The weirdest thing that gives me gender euphoria, is the fact that I have HEART ISSUES???? because I heard men are more likely to have issues with their heart than women so I'm just like "fuck yeeeeeeah"
That's hilarious (not that you have heart issues, it is just such a funny thing to get euphoria over)
I feel the same way but with being colorblind
@@boopydoopy9156 That's certainly interesting
Moooood
LMAOOOO
Tank tops give me so much dysphoria, also worrying about how im standing and my height. My skinny arms, tiny hands, my facial features...my shoulders
It's funny, I can wear tank tops, but it all depends on the cut/fit and the color. I have two identical ones that are completely the same except for color. The black one makes me extremely euphoric, the white one gives me dysphoria.
Honestly, the “being around lots of women” one is relatable. It just feels like I only have female friends because they just see me as one of the girls, and whether or not that’s the case, it hurts. Could also be why, despite my bisexuality, I’m more interested in getting a boyfriend than a girlfriend.
I think that watching UA-camrs with a mostly female audience really messes with me. Dysphoria stops me from watching content that I enjoy because I feel like watching said content makes me too feminine.
Same.
This!! I watch a pretty popular youtuber with a mostly female audience, and in a recent video she mentioned that no men watch her video
killed me a little inside :,,)
Yeah. I stopped watching markiplier for a while because it made me dysphoric before I realized that everyone watches markiplier
@@content6907 man ngl sometimes Mark makes me feel dysphoric because he gives me major gender envy.
but watching channels with mainly feminine audiences ruins me because they mess up the ads I get. I stopped watching Brad Mondo for awhile (almost a year) then went back cause I started coloring other people's hairs again. Now all my ads are Loreal makeup, skin care, and perfume for women. I noticed this is from Brad's videos because if I can't skip or report, I'll close the video and retry to get an ad I can do that with. 10 times IN A ROW, I got Loreal ads doing that. And I cannot report them for being repetitive because they were all different products from the same company. Like pls give me gaming or sport ads not baby and makeup.
I wish youtubers wouldn't bring up their analytics like that tbh even though to them it probably doesn't mean anything. on the other hand I do like it when a youtuber mentions they've got a predominantly male audience I'm like yay one of the boys :)
I'm nonbinary so whenever I dress anyway feminine, I get the feeling that I'm not nonbinary enough/at all. I love wearing skirts and dresses because I find them comfortable, but dysphoria is always around the corner to hit me
here's a tip for dresses: wear jumpers, hoodies or big t-shirts over (or under if you want, though i prefer over) your dress and have shorts/cropped trousers/skinny jeans underneath.
it keeps the comfort but you can also wear clothes that help your dysphoria
if you have any other clothing that makes you feel more comfortable, layer that too! i wear thick, fluffy socks and my favourite hat but i'm sure you have some clothes of your own
I find that wearing bike shorts underneath really helps, also I wear skirts with baggy tops. If you think about it wearing a skirt may actually help to cover your hips more then wearing shorts or pants so keeping that in mind may help
@@lhannam5489 YES absolutely I’m also nb and wearing shorts under dresses feels
Iike I’m sneaking being androgynous like haha you thought I was fem presenting but LOOK, POCKETS! MWAHAHAHAHA
Same. I don’t have any unisex/men’s clothes.
Ur valid
The hair, the bod. Ty is a demigod
You’re welcome
i love this
What can I say except You’re welcome
7:15 I'm a trans woman and I have a sister who's almost exactly 2 years older than me. While we were growing up I was literally looking at the puberty that I wanted to have but never got, at least not until I started HRT 4 and a half years ago. I should mention that although I was jealous of my sister growing up I do still love her and we're very close as adults.
I’m pre T, ftm, closeted, and hearing anyone talk about being trans in any way makes me dysphoric.
I'm sorry. I hope you will be able to start your transition soon.
I'm right there with you bud, with no way to pass. But we can do this together, we'll both be able to be our selves
It’s so interesting to hear the different things that make people dysphoric. For me, most of my dysphoria dissipated when I came out as nonbinary. Although passing as male when I’m nonbinary came with a bunch more dysphoria associated with the fact that the vast majority of people read me as male and don’t even question it, even when I’m actively wearing a they/them pin.
I plan to get to a they/them pin. People constantly read me as female because of my body. Loose fitting clothes isn’t physically comfortable on me, but I don’t wear extremely tight things either. I want a binder so badly, but I’m afraid because I have asthma. 😞 I legitimately want to scream at people when they use gendered pronouns for me...but I silently just die inside and begin to question myself as a non-binary person. I wish people saw us as who we are and not just our parts.
@@Phoenixrisn6287 stay strong! i hope you can get that pin soon
for me it's weird cause I'm an enby but I'm also masc leaning. so I wanna look masc enough so that I look kinda like a boy but I wanna look fem enough so people get confused when they see me (but I never wanna be perceived as a girl). I get euphoria from nail polish and earrings, both of which are considered "fem", but it somehow makes me feel more masculine. for clothes I'm fine with fem bottoms but I hate fem tops. Tge clothes in question also have to never hug my body. the clothes also have to be in a dark palette or it makes me dysphoric. also I'm fine with putting my hair in a bun or in pigtails, but not in a ponytail(which somehow feels more fem than pigtails??). I love makeup but it has to absolutely be dark. piercings in general give me euphoria but they have to be simple rings/studs (I cant stand decorated/cutesy ones unless they're earrings). every shirt I wear has to be boxy and hide most of my arms. I cant wear those stupid fitness clothes that are made out of that weird material. I have so many things that give me euphoria and dysphoria and ngl it's kinda hellish tryna figure it out
@Earl Jones thanks! 🥰
@@hideakisorachi3953 omg! I'm so similar to you! I'm very comfortable with fem bottoms (but very specific ones), but not so much for the fem tops(also very specific, must be loose). I absolutely have to have short short hair, I love coloured clothes, and no makeup at all. I enjoy jewelry, but only if it's simple, not too femimnin. It's very complicated! It's actually reasuring to see someone else having a disphoria as complicated as mine.
Seatbelts oh my god. And bags that have long handles you're meant to put over your shoulder on the opposite side. Anything that goes between That Area fucks me up
That’s a crossbody bag
DUDE the breast floss thing some bags do and like seatbelts is the worst thing
Fddfggh sameeee
That makes some cis guys uncomfy too, my brothers refuse to do it bc they thought it made them gay,,, y’all prob just on that toxic masculinity
@@bug4377 no? They have dysphoria not toxic masculinity lol
Weirdest Dysphoria for me:
Me, a MtF always being asked to carry heavy things because I used to be a football player, and wrestler.
shoutout to me from like a year ago for being dysphoric about: pulling my weight in group projects
felt this so hard
Ummm. Is that a masculine or a feminine thing?
@@JulesThePsion i processed it as feminine somehow???????? like it's literally just doing schoolwork i don't. i have no idea why my brain did that
Seing a piano makes me dysphoric. I once had music teacher tell me I had feminine hands with long, slender fingers perfect for playing piano and it seems to have messed with my brain
oooooooh not the piano fingerssss :(
Dear god, hearing that gives me chills- I don’t feel dysphoric to that but I would 100% be if I was told that
the deadname part is so true though. i feel so awkward even talking about fictional characters that have my deadname bc my dysphoria thinks that the person im talking to will ~ psychically sense ~ that the name is connected to me somehow- or in the case of talking to people who know my deadname, that they'll comment on it. thank god it's not a super common name at least.
There's a podcast series and a indie videogame coming out that I want to get into, but they both have my deadname in the title and I can't bring myself to consume that content.
God yeah, my deadname is uncommon but *just* established enough to pop up once in a blue moon and spook the shit out of me
yes! and I make myself even more dysphoric by whispering myself: why did you even react to it? *deadname* is not ur name, no connections. u shouldnt feel anything bout it, u dont know that name.
I feel awkward talking about real people whose real name happens to be the same as my sister’s deadname. And it’s a very common name!!! Luckily most people with that name use a nickname that my sister never did, but the full name is just awkward to say.
i'd love to see a version of this for weird euphoria things. for example when i burp, like hella loud, it's disgusting but i'm still like... :) im so cool now :)
DUDE SAMEEE and also when i’m like sweaty sometimes i’m like “oh yeah i’m a real man 😎😎💪”
@@sleepyjester meeeeEEEEEE like literally just being gross is gender euphoria. mayhaps because... MEN.... are gross :) lmao
Weird gender euphoria: sharp lighting from multiple angles. I think something about it makes my face and body look more angular which I associate with masculinity, whereas one diffuse light source tends to smooth things out
I hate sharp lighting from multiple angles. Soft light is just 😩👌 But then again I am mtf so it figures.
Off topic, but nice name.
I feel dysphoric about my eyebrows
EYEBROWS
castor oil can make them really thick !!
same. i didn't really have any until i was 15. and i have literally no body hair
same.
@@evaerhardt1317 ooooh some shampoos have that.... am i really about to start putting shampoo in my eyebrows and inevitably in my eyes just to get them thicker?.... yes, yes i am
I don't think that's weird, mine are too sparse for my liking
Mine is hearing ‘women’s sanitary products’ and I’m a trans guy
Period products*
I've had to fix the labels on so many dispensers and bins for those as a custodian it's not even funny. Like, they bothered to buy new locks for the gender neutral bathrooms but couldn't be bothered to change a sticker?
"feminine hygiene"🤮🤮🤮
Masculine hygiene products 😍😍
ahhh same thing here
I have two younger brothers. I started T one week and one day ago. I was born in 2003. My eldest younger brother, is just now a freshman. Watching them BOTH grow taller than me, deeper voices and beards has been hell, and its been harder on me in terms of getting bigendered, because before puberty hits, we've all looked very androgynous - even feminine (we dont usually cut our hair, i was the only boy of the family to do so lol) so normally no one would say anything, but now that im inches shorter, and several pitches higher, its become hard. Im glad im on T when i am. Its taken me years and years, but soon i will be able to say i am adult man, with a name that feels like ive known it a million lifetimes before. Its bad, but its getting better. besides, all 3 of my brothers have always been supportive, and my family doesnt enforce gender roles and never really has. Both I and my oldest younger brother dressed up in princess dressed. But we were more prone to play matchbox cars together. And we didnt have much money, so i wore hand-me-downs from my older brother all the time. I wouldnt have traded the experience for the world at the end of it all, because i know they are there for me. And we are brothers. I wonder, if it has been painful for them too.
i feel you man ): as the 5’5 older brother watching my younger brother grow to 5’10 has been painful to say the least…especially when extended family always comments on how big he’s gotten but doesn’t have anything to say about me 😞 we will make it through
I'm the eldest of two younger brothers, (my baby bro is like 4 rn) my middle bro started high-school and is 14 and you're right when it's pain. I feel so envious and jealous especially since I won't be able to take hormones till I'm independent from my family which could take ages
As a cis gay man I just want to say 1) Ty you’re gorgeous (do me, you hunk) and 2) so many of these things worry cis men too (is my voice deep enough/do I walk like a man/do I talk with my hands/etc?). As one gets OLDER one starts to realise that external standards of behaviour and external measures of masculinity are irrelevant. It is only you who can decide and judge who you are.
Certainly, the trans men I have had affairs/encounters with have been men...whatever their behaviours/transitional status has been. Your concern about manliness is not a uniquely trans thing, but a wider problem with our society’s stuff about masculinity, I think.
❤️❤️❤️
Reading this gave me euphoria over dysphoria lmao wtf (thank you 💪)
@@randomaccount1673 ♥️
Thank you so much. Seeing a gay dude compliment a trans dude feels...affirming? Gives me hope? Anyway. Thank you for the assurance that worrying about being masculine enough is not just a trans experience.
The cleanliness ones really highlight how as an entire society we have to be willing to keep our space clean& Stop looking to women to 'keep house.'
Cleaning has been pointlessly gendered by the patriarchy when it is a basic ADL (activity of daily living)
@@randomaccount1673 Love the Dead Kennedys PFP!
One of the few people who actually looks attractive in a mullet
My exact thoughts. It's straight up a Billy Ray style mullet and it somehow really suits him?
One time a gas station attendant put air in my truck's tires instead of letting me do it and my brain immediately was like its because he thinks you're a woman
Someone once said that “girls do a little happy dance when they eat something” and I knew that I did that so now I get dysphoric about it.
The hand movements, gesticulating (lol) is something I immediately associate with my Greek ex bf. Idk Mediterranean cultures gesticulate A LOT while speaking and he was one of the most macho dudes I knew. So idk what other people are on but I read it as pretty masculine 🤷🏻♀️
It's actually more about the person and how they present themselves. I for instance as an INFP(mbti personality type) use too much of my hand to transfer my message because I'm not very good at speaking and use mostly body language.And I've seen many other infps do this too and aside from all of this mbti stuff, body language is just a way of better communication and you should be proud of doing that!
Can confirm, like here in Italy we talk with our hands a lot (yeah, that stereotype came from somewhere) and I've never heard anyone consider gesticulating a feminine trait (like maybe flapping your hands a certain way could be seen as "girly" or "gay", but just gesticulating in general is something 90% of the population does)
@@gferraro2916 "gay" /="girly". Gay men are men, if you didn't know. Speaking of cultures, Roman empire and Ancient Greece praised male homosexuality, and they were hella masculine. Also there are plenty of heterosexual dudes who are girly.
@@Wasp239 they said or, and I feel like the quotes they used implied that these aren't beliefs they hold about the gestures themselves? You are coming across quite combative right off the bat. I'm sure G Ferraro doesn't need their cultural history explained to them either. Idk I think you're just taking quite an uncharitable interpretation of a comment that was directly addressing the concerns Ty raised about what he thought hand gestures came across as.
I use my hands a lot when I talk. My first language was sign language, so I don't have a problem with the fact that I do it (I actually have to do it to remember some words, and I can't explain something unless I'm actively showing you what's happening through gestures-it's cool bc people have said that they understand when I explain things way better than when other people explain them the same way verbally, but it sucks to try and talk on the phone or through text), and when people comment on it, I just throw that fact at them and move on with my life.
Wind is a binder-wearer's worst nightmare
Yes.
Big YES
this oh my god even after top surgery i still panic for a sec when a gust of wind blows in my direction
Oh really? Why? I’m sorry not trying to be rude, I just never would’ve thought of that
Rosie Reschke
Usually when there’s wind, it presses my shirt against my body and you can tell I’m wearing a binder, and often you can see a bit of a lump
Reminder: your gender identity is valid. There are many ways to express your gender . No one else is focusing on every aspect of your apperance. Dysphoria is tough, the replies are a safe space if u need it
As an NB, mine is definitely flying. It's because where I live the government hasn't caught up with NB existing, so all the tickets have Mr./Miss/Ms./Mrs. prominently before the name.
Idk who you are, I just stumbled apon this video, but you give me like "your cool brother who goes to college and came over to visit over the weekend and hangs out with you, tells you college stories like that one time when his buddy Ricky decided to put a mento in his mouth and wash it down with soda. Also this is all set in like the 80's or something (idk I think it's the checkered wall and flamingo) " vibes. Ya know?
Im non-binary. Things letting me feel disphoric:
How to use Smileys/Emoticons.
Not drinking beer (or any drinks with alcohol), not doing drungs.
Breestfeeding.
When someone is sexist and I feel personally attacked.
Liking Burgundry/wine red.
oh god the feeling personally attacked thing yes. like, don't call me a woman i'll cringe so hard internally, but i still get so angry when people are sexist arseholes
When someone is being sexist and I'm getting so mad about it because I feel personally attacked until I realise that if I say something I would be doing women's work and that could be offensive but at the same time everyone thinks I'm a woman so they're attacking me, but they're not. So complicated, lots of dysphoria.
using umbrellas is feminine to me too. . . so i do it every time i can, i even carry an umbrella around when it's not raining sometimes
(NOT OPEN OBVIOUSLY)
LOLLLL
Up your game to sun parasols too, their fun and twirly as fhuk
@@blackmarya NOTED
ishei 👌noice! great UV protection too 💖⛱💖
My brother is 6yo and seeing his very boyish childhood and having toys and having friends who are boys makes me irrationally jealous. I don't hate him, but sometimes I feel like I don't want to be around him or hear about his day because it makes me feel bad or like I missed out on childhood experiences I should've/wished I had
Is this another way of how genders are hurting us? I'm thinking maybe if we didn't have all these "girl things" or "boys things" it would be a lot easier. Also, why do we need to be so distinctive between a binary concept?
Talking about chicken breasts lowkey makes me dysphoric. Lol
Same. Xd
i thought that was just me lmaoo
ME TOO
I think it’s the word “breasts” that makes us dysphoric
FUCK SAME now someone knows the shame of asking for "breast" at the dinner table
sleeping positions, my brain always goes: this is how females sleep, now be hyperaware of your body
another one i get is that i hate feeling my binder because then i'm more aware of my chest because its pressing on it. my brain hates me
OMG the sleeping thing is horrible!! I"m always thinking that I sleep in a certian position that is girly!
Oh, nonono, don't sleep with your binder on! It can be potentially hurtful for you, please take care :"( I hope your dysphoria gets better, sending all good vibes!✨
@@cassgarsa1341 i dont think he sleeps with his binder on. They were two separate things
Oh, I'm sorry then, I got it wrong. Thanks for telling me :3
me trying to sleep:
my brain: lmao you sleep on your side which is the girl pose
So many of these are so relatable. I'm pre-op and even pre HRT but I got clocked as male at my new job, and now I'm hyper aware of all my mannerisms (pun intended) and if I'm acting like an actual guy on a crew of all men.
im non-binary, but i have the worst luck and my body is super fem, and i only realized recently, so a little while ago i tried to wear a skirt cause i thought "hey, im non-binary, and skirts are fun" well, i looked in the mirror and had my first full on disphoric panic attack, so i made a blanket fort and cried
it will be fine!!!🤕
A safe zone blanket fort. I've got to use that sometimes
I feel you though. I'm FTM and I hate skirts with a passion. I'd always try to put myself in situations to not wear one
A strange dysphoria trigger I get is thinking I don’t have enough dysphoria? It’s weird but this video helped me so much- though having a lot of dysphoria doesn’t seem good, it just confirms that I do truly know who I am
Me too. The first time I read up on the definition of disphoria as causing "intense distress" I was like, "No! I don't feel distress that's a feminine emotion."
Then I fell into a slump since I didn't feel "distress" and therefore couldn't really be trans.
What might help you is to focus on gender euphoria instead, what makes you happy. Often times we don´t even realize what´s making us miserable
Sameee I’m pretty sure I only experience mild social dysphoria and it just makes me feel like some sort of attention seeking faker 😭
@@daychild_ dysphoria does not have to kill you to make you valid.
you are valid as a trans person, no matter if you feel a lot of dysphoria or just a little, other people do not get to determine if you are trans enough. you also dont have to suffer every single day to be considered real, i know this casts a lot of self doubt if you feel like you dont suffer enough,but you dont have to suffer to prove anything. Cis people are the kind of people that will demand that trans people suffer everyday and deal with so much hate, just to be seen as real and somehow deserving of it. Trans people like me (and others in the community) will welcome you with open arms, we dont see you as fake nor attention seeking. You will always be welcome in our community.
social dysphoria sucks a lot (i have that one) - as i am always seen as feminine and i am just nonbinary and do want to be seen as neutral.
I kinda went on a rant, but this is what i needed (and i received from older trans people), validation and acceptance. Some of them sent up stuff similar to what i said to you and it helped me a lot when i was doubting myself. So im returning the kindness i received, spreading along words that may help you as well.
@@arielruby13 thanks so much :D
I'm a cis male and the walking one still hits me hard sometimes like, I'm walking and I find myself thinking "Stop swaying your hips so much, my dude," and I just feel really weird for the next few minutes or until I get where I need to be.
7:18 i'm an only child but most of my closest friends are cis guys and knowing them since around/before the start of puberty, hearing their voices drop n shit really gets to me :")
my weirdest trigger is the fact that I have small ear canals.... One day my doctor said, "You have small ear canals," and I've latched on to that for some reason
My cis dude partner has a giant head that makes hat shopping a nightmare, basso profundo voice, 6 ft, aaand the tiniest ear canals known to medicine.
I cant eat out of a pink bowl. We have this set if bowls in my house and theres two pink and two blue, I cant use the pink ones
There's this ONE (1) flowery plate that we have and I go extremely out of my way every time to not use it 😭😭😭
I can't use the plates with flowers on them .... all the other dudes in my house use them and don't even think about it but I have to get the stripey one.
As a child before I knew about me being trans I only ate from the blue plate of the breakfast set. I even made a fuss at family dinners about it. Now I realize why and it is still a running Gag in my family.🙈
We have cups in purple, blue and pink and purple and blue are my parents fav colours so they generally use them and whenever my parents make me a glass of water in a pink cup I get dysphoric. My father used to do it all the time but I think he picked up on it because I made an effort to always give it to him if I was making drinks.
Stop are you me
Mine is when my fingernails are “too long.” Not even just looking at them, also touching things and picking things up when they’re in the way
The length of my fingernails was never an issue for me, but from my perspective there are two types of fingernails. Some have nails that lay on top of the finger and others have nails that are more embedded in the finger. Having embedded nails always made me disphoric. It has nothing to do with gender or sex but it makes my disphoria go boom.😵
My guitar professor is tall masc guy but because he plays classical guitar his fingernails are LITERALLY a half an inch long and so well upkept that it made ME dysphoric for not manicuring my nails? Like I trim and file them now, thought they're still short. He looks so professional and I wanna be taken seriously like he is ig? 😂
My two cis brothers take so little care of their nails (cut to shape once a while and that's it, just let them grow to the point where it's getting harder to do stuff) that they are _always_ longer than mine, a cis girl actively trying to grow my nails longer. It's almost like the structure is way stronger and doesn't bother them, they don't need to worry breaking their nails like I do. So I've always been jealous to them about well growing strong nails, it's a quite a guy thing for me. Don't know if that's anything worth saying but just for a different viewpoint maybe. I do know it's hugely individual how the nails grow and has rarely any gendered logic to that. I know there are girls who have flat and almost sideways growing nails, and boys with the most perfect c-curve and almond shaped smileline. How they are cut (are they cut to the shortest possible lenght or is there some white part left there), contact with water, diet and things like dry/moisturized cuticles affect how the nail grows. It's a puzzle.
exact opposite for me, when my fingernails are too short i kinda get a bit dysphoric
As a straight guy this video is interesting to me bc all of the triggers are either weirdly specific things that nobody would really notice or something that is only really exclusive to a stereotypical man, which admittedly must be annoying in areas where these stereotypes are more heavily enforced societally
Okay, so the getting kicked in the balls things; SAME! I feel like that has the same energy as trans girls being jealous of cis girls having their periods even though it can be excruciating
Fuck getting kicked in the balls bro. You don’t want that!😂 it’s a pain like no other. Hard to describe
Yes, getting kicked in the balls is extremely painful. But, I know exactly what you mean, because I would absolutely choose to get periods if I could.
The brother thing is so relatable. I have a brother who is about my age and seeing him develop and becoming more masculine and looking more like a man every year fucking kills me. He is 17 and I’m 16
same but with my cousin, we were born in the same year but he looksso much older smh
@Earl Jones They’re selfish because they’re dysphoric...? Lol. Why’re you rapid firing replying to people’s comments on this video just to be a dick to people. Fucking weird.
this !!! i totally get it. im 18 and my brother is 15. watching him have mood swings, yell, get acne, all of that, makes me SO jealous. like, i know that i should also be having that happen, but it isnt and it f's with me a lot. i 100000% feel for you.
My brothers always been tall and broad and I was always the opposite. Doesnt bother me anymore but being known as the small one used to kill me while he got praised for being tall and strong.
@@spencerfry6395 yeah, I get that. My brother is like 10cm taller than me, he is short for being a guy (I think he is 5’6 or 5’5 idk) and I’m 5’2 :) life can be amazing lol
i gave two brothers close to my age and my dysphoria gets worse every time i see one of them shirtless because im so jealous
13:47
no because my dad deadass says only women and children should use umbrellas. now it’s an inside joke between me and my sister, if we do anything masculine we say “i’m a manly man i don’t need an umbrella or anything”
Someone once told me it must have been my hat when I corrected them when they misgendered me. Never wore that hat. Can cis people stop making excuses for misgendering people.
I had a similar experience. Some lady at school knew I was trans and first complimented me on how much I looked like a guy, but then added how the fact that I had dyed hair might be the only thing that could give it away. I went back to my natural hair color as soon as I could lmao
Yeah! Like, just apologize, get it right next time, and move on.
It's weird, but what helped me with my "cleaning dysphoria" was thinking about characters like Schmidt from New Girl or Monk who were very much clean, very men, and very much themselves without (too much) criticism from others. In a lot of ways, they were actually praised for their cleanliness!
And mr clean :D
Late comment but Levi from Attack on Titan
Oh I just think about Levi Ackerman whenever I have to clean lol
ik what you mean about wanting to be a nice and considerate person and also being masculine. i try to remind myself that all the guys i have the most respect for care more about being a good person than their pride tho
"watching softball" - ah yes, the "lol why don't you just admit you're a lesbian?" Flavor of dysphoria.
When you're peeing the most anyone thinks is "Is that guy sitting to pee?" I only really use restrooms at the bar so I'm guessing they just think I'm really drunk.
Edit: there is most likely no one questioning if you are trans.
Also I've known some cis men who just prefer sitting. It's not common, but it's not unheard of.
Also it is possible for afab folk to learn how to pee standing up.
@@objectreborn.artsewing I’m cis bisexual dude and I sit and piss sometimes lol
Honestly you'd be surprised how many cis men like to pee sitting but only don't because there's a stigma. There are so many that do it but will never admit to it.
As an agender person, I find it so sad that people feel uncomfortable with themselves because they don't conform to arbitrary gender roles. I wish all the gender dysphoric folks out there luck with accepting themselves and their body.
I tend to fluctuate between agender and trans masc, in my sense of self, and I do definitely act like a guy, dress like a guy, and I'm on T because it makes me feel "right" in my head and body. But that being said, when I'm in an agender sense of self, that's where I have the most comfort with myself because I'm like eh, it's a body 🤷
sup fellow agender person. im still on the journey of acceptance, but your words made me smile a little. i like about 95% of my body now, th only thing that bothers me is nipples
Sup agender folks. My brain is just out to get me. Bathrooms are bad and public changing rooms are worse, and my brain is weird about pockets and shoes and v necks are so bad. And this isn’t even gendered stuff what the fuck
I identify as a man, born with a male body, but honestly I think the whole gender thing is very overrated.
When I finally don’t get disphoria for a moment
It gives me disphoria
I feel this. Everytime i feel confident my brain just goes "trender"
Can we talk about euphoria triggers next? Mine is watching a video about dysphoria triggers and relating to all of them, makes me feel like a valid trans
SAME, basically me all throughout the vid 😭✨
Oooooo. I wanna see that too!
Ok but hear me out: the back of my knees
i get dysphoric when i wear ankle socks. like i have to wear socks that atleast go the middle of my calf😭
what the fuck me too
My god, same. Also no show socks? I know they are supposed to be the most comfortable for running cross country but like.... nope, I can't gotta be tall.
Yup
YEEES
my cis brother had a whole ankle sock phase so I used to wear them to feel more masculine lmao
4:28 I'm a cis man and you're "high" voice is literally lower than my speaking tone. You're all good man.
It's always wild clicking on transmasc videos and watching some handsome lumberjack dude worry he's not manly enough. Y'all are doing great!
I have a bunch of weird dysphoria triggers
• going to the dollar store with my grandfather.
• looking at makeup with my mother
• just, sitting in the shower for too long sometimes
• being in my dad’s garage where he fixes cars
Honestly this list could go on for days
The shower one I feel......so much. I love taking long hot showers but not THAT long yaknow
in case it makes you feel better my very masculine (cis) brother spends upwards of an hour in the shower whenever he gets a chance
I have nephews and it makes me so dysphoric. Little boys doing boy stuff makes me jealous and little girls doing girls stuff makes me weridly sick. I originally had only nieces and people said they were so like me and I agreed they sorta looked like me as a kid but like them doing girly stuff and wearing dresses was so repulsive to me I did not like the comparison. Now I have nephews and now I suddenly understand why I felt that because when I see the nephews I am upset in a different way where I see similarities in us but I see them getting accepted and encouraged and compared to my dad who I always got on with better but died when I was 5. It makes me sorta wanna cry about my childhood.
@Earl Jones I mean jealousy is bad but I don't try and punish the children or deprive them of something so I'm not sure about selfish. Perhaps you mean self-absorbed? That is definitely true. There's no good reason for me to project myself into children instead of just appreciating them being happy.
Dude I get that so hard, like just watching little kids being little kids and knowing that no matter how hard you try you wont get what they have. I have a younger bother and watching him grow up has been good because I love him but hurts so much seeing how differently he is treated everyday and just knowing that I never got the same childhood he did
also @Earl Jones all you comment in here is negative bullshit, get a life dude and leave us alone.
@Earl Jones I mean yes we all should be more grateful for what we have I agree. But you can say sth like that to literally any complaint. "Oh you have -insert disease- oh be fucking thankful you don't have cancer". Its sorta dumb. But also yes complaining constantly is also really dumb. It's all about not getting caught up in it.
@Earl Jones unfortunately I was a little girl that did exclusively boy stuff by nature and got in trouble because of it. I never did little girl stuff ever. So I dunno how you explain that with your theory.
ive never heard someone else say that using an umbrella makes them dysphoric im glad im not alone on that one
You should get one of those camouflage ones
Been that way my whole life for me lmao people thought I was crazy😂
i havent watch trans related content and a while and I forgot how relatable this is and like how there's so many people who feel the same things that I do that I feel bad about