Daddy Issues: What Women Actually Needed From Their Fathers
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Hi alexander
My father p+assed away at early age
and Now my Y+ounger S+ister is behaving like that Girls who describe that go away with any B+OY thay give her any Little Attention to Her, Hiding from Us, Secretly talking to some Person on Watsapp,
We do B+eat her for that
But still what to do with her?
A lot has been said about daddy issues of both sexes in recent years (Jordan Peterson comes to mind). What do you know about mommy issues? Are they distinct from daddy issues and are the differences easy to spot?
alexander could you do a piece on fatherless boys too?
What you're saying is so vital and should be heard all over Western society. But we live in a world where family courts and women have completely boxed out the role of men calling it irrelevant and toxic. I would love to be this archetype father figure to a little girl and even to a little boy but it's too dangerous for men to have these things in the world that we live in. I've heard too many stories of women divorcing their husbands and the men losing custody of their children and committing suicide and losing half if not all their money and going to jail because they couldn't pay child support due to complications or circumstances that family Court could give two craps about. And those are just the moderately bad Case scenarios.
What you say about the archetypes we form as children, that's another place where feminists attack us. They try to shame men for thinking that women ought to be compassionate or nurturing, and shame women for relying on men for protection and insight. They want to make everyone the same as themselves because it fulfills their narcissism. They constantly use self-doubt against people who would otherwise be self confident because they know that those people who are better adjusted are also more likely to question themselves.
This really opens my eyes a lot. Fathers teach sons how to be men and the mother validate the boys efforts on their masculinity. Mothers teach their daughters how to be women and the father validate the daughters efforts on their femininity.
Perfectly said
Spot on. Moreover, it's a mother's job to provide nurture and care and it's a father's job to discipline them. Both genders have their duty, when one parent is missing it's going to create problems for a child.
That is one rare occurrence of a comment I'll remember my whole life. Thank you for saying it so aptly.
Not a problem. I hope this really helps everyone who seeks to balance their homes or reverse tramas.
well said
How do you expect a woman, who in hers 20s had multiple failed relationships, made bad choices in men, listened to false liberation movement to have one nighters to be in hollowed state of empowerment and never having a long lasting relationship, to in her 30s become of mature mind, make good choices in men and cultivate a long-lasting n happy relationship. You don't. You reap what you sow.
That behaviour imprinted her and she can't bond with a partner in the long run.
jai shree Ram🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
Not to mention that child custody biasness has contributed a lot to women growing up with such low qualities. The law forces a society into believing that 'it's ok to be without father' and then complain that men are not taking responsibilities, thereby making women coming up with "strong and independent" bullshit until it's too late for them to realize that they actually need a man when realistically a man doesn't want her at her 40s.
@@mn1856 That's not our problem. They decided to take that path.
@@CosminPerisan that's true actually. Feminist crying for privileges in the name of women empowerment, marching for unnecessary rights, shouting in media and their cheap tactics has led the policy makers, beurocrates and judges tilt in their sides blindly ignoring that these unwanted privileges one day will destroy the same people for whom it was created. So yeah these women reap what they sow. Moreover, identity politics based on gender(an outcome of these feminist movements) has also forced the political parties to support them for votebanks.
My daughter is 8 years old, very attached to her mother. I'm playful and tender with her, always present.....and sometimes over-protective. She is my only child so since I have no previous experience about raising kids I hope I'm doing a good job as a father. Alex is so right.....girls need a strong father figure in order to feel safe, loved and balanced.
from some other lifecoach i'm following says, a daughter, a woman needs to have and see the unmoveable rock/mountain in her father, lovers etc they just want to be understood and to be listen to, we guys often are trying to fix things but that's not what the want mostly, they want us to listen to them, ask what's wrong, how'd that made them feel etc, they are looking for this safety in us men,
Tjolo... Wow! Eight is the most important age generally, I mean for father and daughter. Glad you're there. And it sounds like you're doing OK. Show her kindness, humility and that she matters to you. It doesn't matter much what else you get wrong. Her mother will correct her girlish tricks.
@@bartdegryse9345 Yet we hear many women say (of their partners) "He is my rock."
Do not ever let her mother embarass you in front of her. Or let her win arguments she shouldn't.
@@duderanch18237 Parents should avoid arguments in front of their children. Guys, if your partner actually disparages you in front of the children, pull a face, and later tell her in private that this must never happen again. All adults must understand that it is a terrible cruelty to a child to hear criticisms of either of its parents.
We, as people need both parents. One that teaches us and the other one that validates us.
ua-cam.com/video/aV4tMvr7xZY/v-deo.html
@Dan Swildens you will usually find out that they split into separate roles mimicking the natural order, without having to think about it.
@Dan Swildens Those kids can't make healthy relationships with kids of the opposite gender
@@rayhr1
From what I've seen, there is always a more dominant role in the relationship. That sort of mimicks a Hetero relationship.
That's why I love my Parents, My father taught me Discipline while my Mother gave me love.
After this video i cried my eyes out . I’m 50 and my father was(is) an agressieve narcist . I became a masculin women and married a submissive man . My Mother was weak and i linked femininety to weakness. My whole life i wanted to be a man . I’v seen a lot of therapist but none of them taught me this . I wish a could get an understanding cuddle now . Thank you Alexander .
🫂
youll get one. we'll all get one !
Hugs to you. From a dad doing his best with his daughters.
I'm so sorry you went through this. So many hugs.
Sad state of affairs when our parents, school, psychologists, media all fail us and we have to turn to some young guy with a UA-cam channel to make sense of things. My experience is different from yours, but the sense of this channel making sense of things is familiar. I wish you the best!
I'm 14 turning 15 in a month. I will try to remember this as I become a Father.
A 14 years old watching this. Proud of you.
@@robinsongalvan1017 thanks, man. I just think a lot about the future, and find interest in certain type of videos such as this one. I hope everything is going well for you, and your family.
You are lucky to come in contact with this kind of information so early. I'm 44 and was sleepwalking for most of my life. Not any more...
Good luck finding a traditional wife in future.
@@aniketjaiswal3147 Weather he finds one or not is less important than knowing which ones to avoid.
I noticed most of the girls who go to my school and are confident with a lot of friends have very good close bonds to they're father's
Wow, that actually clicked. And it goes the other way with girls/women that don't have a father figure are usually closed off or hang out with people of poor influence.
My Dad had four marriages and my stepfather was an alcoholic who cheated on his wife to be with my mother (who was just as guilty) Thank God for my maternal grandfather who was my father figure who validated me without any pretence, he passed in 2017 and miss him everyday, but I still have my trust issues.
ua-cam.com/video/aV4tMvr7xZY/v-deo.html
Growing up with Grandparents is very blessed, children not only grow healthy but also wisely.
Even parents may not have grandparents' life experience and wisdom. 🙏
In my last LTR, we were sitting in a restaurant and a couple tables over, was a father daughter couple. I'm guessing the daughter was about 9-10. The banter between them was sweet and reminded me of dates like that I had with my own daughter!
I smiled at my GF, "Aren't father daughter dates great?" She told me she'd never been on one. Her father was in the home but he barely acknowledged her. They lived with her grandparents who owned a country store. As a little girl (3-4), she'd get dressed up and go to work with her grandma in the store. She'd sit on an old fashioned pickle barrel and strangers would comment how cute she was and buy her candy and treats. At the end of the day, she'd find her father sitting in his chair watching TV and drinking a beer. She'd try and get his attention, but the most she'd get is a request to get him another beer.
Our relationships, well, all of her relationships were marked by a lack of emotional involvement on her part. She showed signs of covert Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It's strange to think that a 4 year old her made a choice to separate from her emotions in a way that negatively affected her ability to connect with other people for the rest of her life.
To this day, I feel so sad for her. At times she'd accidentally let her guard down, there is a lovely person in there but never for more than a momentary glimpse.
Cool that you have so much empathy. Good short story.
Interesting perspective!
did u try to help her find her true self or did u let her go?
@@jasicjan I have years training in counseling and more years in advanced negotiation and listening techniques. If anyone had the tools to help her, I feel it was in me... It's heartbreaking to realize there is nothing you can do. Narcissists don't want help. They will turn it on you every single time.
I hope you at least gave her a real hug and held her for the moment.
Alexander Grace is definitely one of the most empathetic and insightful dudes in the RP space. An excellent synthesis of info that usually only gets superficial or flippant treatment elsewhere.
As a daughter I will never forget when my father called me ugly and hit me. Nothing can fix this broken confidence after that even if a thousand people tell me that I am not ugly.
What he does and says is a reflection of his character... he's the ugly one and his lashing out is a sign of his weakness
I felt that in my heart 💔😔
I'm 40 yrs old and my childhood still hunts me.
My father was never my protector.
Compensation cannot heal the wound. You have to accept the hurt and let it heal.
_All of your wounds can be healed with compassion, curiosity, and acceptance._
I would be the same way probably. Having a daughter would be a nightmare
You should take over your mind and free yourself from that mental dependency. You can't let a person take the dignity out of you, even though it's your own parents. Remember you are belong to God and created by God The Almighty. You are precious in His eyes and no human being, who are broken person themselves can ever steal your dignity and confidence of who you truly are.
I understand my ex more through this video than I did through 6 years of dating her
Not growing up with a father and having a mom that "does it all" makes u hardened but when u get in a relationship with a manly guy that makes you feel SAFE you realize "I don't have to do it all" plus you start to expect that protection and provision from each guy.
@._. true.
Yes, there is a lot of discussion about fatherhood in the manosphere, it just focuses more on divorce and on how it influences men and boys, but it is acknowledged that it's a self-perpetuating cycle because daughters of single mothers are more likely to become single mothers themselves. The issues are legal. If you are barred from visiting the child most of the time, it doesn't matter how willing you are to contribute to their development. And if you're morally and financially destroyed by the courts, it's very hard to remain a good father.
ua-cam.com/video/aV4tMvr7xZY/v-deo.html
Or her own mother literally chases the father away with psychotic abuse and then blamed him in his absence for all of their woes.
I am somewhat afraid, yet curious, to see how women who chose non-cooperative "co-parenting" deal with their kids, as they agreed the biological fathers do not intervene in their children's education, and how will these children behave when growing up to adults, and about polyamory partners, I do not even imagine what things could get out of there.
@@oscaraurelio8869 put simply, the children grow up as unbalanced, brainwashed individuals who spend most of their 20's and 30's unravelling the fact that their mothers were abusing them through parental alienation. It's pretty much precisely as Alexander explains it.
Men who have strong caring mothers can have problems being feminine, overbearing, aggressive, selfish, lazy, or greedy states of their psyche.
I think they could definitely be successful people in the eyes of society but may be self obsessed in their self and goals.
A girl who is raised with a strong caring mother may have a fully developed sense of femininity but is probably prone to promiscuity depending on the mother and both of their attractiveness or have psychological biases towards men. While it's more likely for them to have flings, rebel, or have a skewed sense of reality, values, and responsibilities.
Single father's against boys and girls also have detriments and positives that I could probably write for ages about as well.
But let's just try to be better people but realize why someone might be a huge douchebag, that still doesn't justify their douchyness but it does shed a light on it.
classical, as classic as a men just leaving for no reason or beatin' child and wife for no reason too.
@@oscaraurelio8869 Very interesting insight, man.
I've been trying to foresee what could result in this co-parenting concept? What pros or cons could come out of it for both men & w0men. And I believe you're right. There is no investment in the other partner. It's all done for a sake of having "my own kid", not really acknowledging your partner in the equation. No deep consideration on his/her wants/needs. So, I guess it could open a huge pandora box of disagreements for how to raise this child.
Any thoughts how this could be actually a good path to take? (After all- it's a marriage-free path)
there are ZERO public figures out there who would take that risk as alexander is taking by openly discussing these topics. ALEXANDER TRUE HERO!
I think parents of children need to watch this too. It really opened my eyes to what's socially the norm now.
There is also hamza but ok
@@totallynotdio1311 link brother?
@@alltaken0 just search up ,,hamza ahmed" in the youtube search bar
How do you expect a father to be in his child's life when most mothers wants to make a point to be a single mother. A mother can raise a child but father raises an adult. Look at abundance of cases of promiscuity, teen pregnancy, child abuse, criminal affiliations, drop outs all from broken homes. It make important obligation on part of women to select the right kind of men so he can in her life, their childs life and together raise the child in the right way.
The current society is against family. It is part of civilisation and abundance in resources. The only way i see it is to be good to good people. And if a women doesn't desire you she isn't worth your time. Learn the psychology to keep a women to desire you. Basically become a pimp but use the power for good instead of creating another generation of bastards and degenerates. There is a heavy weight on the shoulders of men if you are willing to take it. Leave people who live life liberally to the dust. Play the game but straighten it out into a conservative way.
Ive seen you comment on more video's. Be the light!
agreed, when he mentioned that it is the fathers responsibility to be present in their daughters lives I thought he really glossed over the fact that modern women seem to believe removing the father from the child's life is a good thing to do.
Teach your daughters not to Lie would be a huge step forward for humanity!
I'm going to try to instill a masculine level of personal responsibility. I'm wondering if I can, but I'll try
Bruh, its in their nature to do that. That’s why as a man u need to hold her accountable for that behavior.
She cannot control it, you just have to accept the fact that females and males think differently and it's okay for them to be hypergamous. It's God will, so do not interfere.
They don’t realize they are lying.
@@cecilrhodes2153 It "feels" like truth.
My father has anger issues that stemmed from his father because of PTSD from war and he resented him and his parenting, which was harsh. My dad is the funniest guy and played with my brother and I constantly when we were young and he is very caring, but I was terrified of him when he was angry. It could be about anything like a leak or someone breaking something, in response I constantly apologize and I start to get upset because he should be more understanding, everyone makes mistakes. My brother is now starting to have anger issues and I believe it stems from a lack of control, when I don't feel in control I sense I'm becoming like them and I immediately stop and reflect; but my family embraces it and explodes. My boyfriend is the total opposite, and that's one reason I adore him. When things go wrong he is calm and immediately see's what's happening, and if he does get angry I understand his feelings, and he puts me in my place if I'm starting to get upset, which makes me ashamed he shouldn't deal with this. I think I am suffering from this lack of control but therapy is very helpful and has helped me see that I had no father figure to help me control my emotions. Hopefully my brother and father will attend therapy with me too to help us understand each other. Love your patreon btw
No self control. Emotional instability
Hey Alex, I have to call you out on a major error and attitude presentation here. I work in the family law field, and can tell you that by far the main reason girls don't have a Dad in their life, is divorce, the financial incentives in child support to seize primary parenting, and the bias to give custody to women.
Dead beat dad's are incredibly rare, and the drunk and dincompetent men are also not so many, compared to the many Father's who want to see their kids and are denied access.
And it is scary notable that younger men now lack masculine traits to present and pass on to their sons or their daughters. Many young men now see no real role for them in the family, and so become much more observers or just leave easily.
We are destroying families, quickly and completely. And, I feel this is not an exaggeration, this is at the peril of our species.
How do you manage a work/life balance?
I would hate to go to work everyday and see families being destroyed and ripped apart by divorce.
Not our species, just western world, don't worry islam is here to put family in the center again. Since we abandoned Christianity, we abandoned our civilisation to anything else that want to come in. Nature hate the void, and the strongest moral system out there and growing is islam.
@@jojostalino1377 honestly as a Muslim I'll say, Christianity is only dead in the west. Middle eastern Christian's are pious and religious and haven't lost their values. You ask a lebanese average Christian dude hell say he goes to church on sunday the same way most of us go to mosque on Friday. It's the western world that is messed up
I was once close friends with a woman whom practiced family law - One evening after a few glasses of Wine, she told me straight up “never get married, men get screwed.”
Financially speaking, Corporate America and Government are also primary beneficiaries in the breakup of the family.
Anyone here notice how Corporations now try to play this whole “we’re family” bs?
Anyone notice how big DADDY government tries to pull the “we’re all in this together” bs
Funny that we are fine breaking up the American family, but when it comes to the border crisis, all of a sudden big DADDY government “cares” 🤣
i agree he should have said something about this. im actually part of that scenario but i just...kinda just assumed that it was too obvious to point out since he said at the start ''totally absent fathers''. you can put one and 2 together and assume that includes toxic divorces where women get all. maybe he talks about it in the toxic mother vid and he subconsciously didnt want to be redundant in this case
If she loves her father, she will love you, if she loves her mother she will love herself
That makes a lot of sense. I love my father and I really love my boyfriend, but I don't love my mother so much and I struggle with self-esteem and confidence
@@TemporalBarrage Appreciate the honestly
The best way to love someone is to spend time with them the purpose of learning about them. Good luck! Also Sometimes we can’t love someone for their past but have every bit of ability to guide & write a future with them.
@Alvik Orlov it’s hard to elaborate since it’s a simple concept. Can you ask a more specific question or share what you don’t understand about this idea? Would love to learn more but I don’t think I can simplify it further
well then
@Suzi Williamson she needs therapy lol!
This is why I have a problem with people making fun of or complaining about people’s behavior yes as adults we have to now be responsible for our actions and our choices but sometimes we didn’t get there on our own someone has created that monster.
This has to be one of the most thoughtful videos anywhere on the internet.
I was watching the video and thinking you should make another about men having problems the way parents rised them. Now I see another reason to join your patreon community! Another great video, tremendous job Alexander!
Women iv known... Women A.. She had 6 siblings said her Dad was strict but when she got older she understood why with so many kids. She had respect for him as she got older.... She had massive respect for me...
Women B.... I hated my Dad my last 3 boyfriends were a nightmare and it was their fault the relationship ended. I dated her I was told im the man of her dreams then she started kind of hating me so then I joined the list of men she hated..
Women C... My Dad left me my boyfriends left me.. I dated her and she was so insecure it was a joke. I could not even do over time at work without it being who is she etc so I ended up leaving her..
My view is find out how women think of their Dad and really look for Daddy issues as they are a nightmare. and see if history repeats with her as so many women do not learn from their mistakes..
Right bc it’s women’s fault that they’re dads left them
Yes absent fathers are really a big issue in some girl's young stage
In absence of a Good Dad,
She will fling onto any person who person who shows the least amount of attention and she won't know how a healthy relationship should be b\w a Husband & Wife
It's kinda Sad Really😒🙄
And who pushed those fathers out?
1. Courts
2. Moms
Nobody fucks over young women like the last generation of women. Never fails.
They'll give the younger girls bad advice just so they don't have to be jealous. Misery loves company.
@WhalesTasteGreat
Not true. A large amount of fathers leave out of their own will. Many others decide for themselves to remain emotionally absent or abusive. But obviously that is too large a pill for you to swallow.
@@elizabethzacharias1757 Bollox, the stats show the vast, vast majority of home-breakers are women, who then block access.
Class in session folks, take notes✍🏾💯
My daughter is only months old. I had a bad experience in my youth.
Basically, being the father I had to miss. That's my mission in life. I want to create the whole, loving and supportive family I never had.
To do this I have kept my eyes open for good role models. I think I'm well educated to do it now. Not because I think I know it all. But because I trust my ability to recognize what works and what needs to adapt.
It's going really well. You said in one of your videos that if you tell a man. Just take the day, spend it being happy. A lot just can't do it.
That's like a regular Thursday for me! A family is so damn rewarding!
In this state of mind alone, the future you are about to project is a light of hope for humanity ! I wish all you the best brother.
Having a daughter is going to be very troubling for you but trust in yourself that you'll instill the values of a good man and wish and hope she attuned to that love and seeks it out.
She will be influenced by a world that caters to those who are impossibly beautiful and diabolical. Instill a value of a good friend of her as well to not be guided into what is popular to be accepted but realizing what is good and should be accepted.
She may have a rough time dealing with people and children of this coming generation who are so out of tune but make the necessary steps you can and should for that.
I apologise because, I don't mean to tell you how to raise your child, but it seems like you're going out of your way to learn so Id thought you could do some good with kind words for affirmations of your improving.
@@Jamsessionroom1337 I'm aware I'm going to have to support her in standing firm under fire and have to be a very strong and resilient person against the pressure that's on myself. This is the best example, my own actions. My wife is well equipped to deal with groups of women, I'm good at showing her how to be your own person. And let that be the criteria you select others by.
My taughts on this are. There's 7 billion people on the planet, and you need about 50 people to have a rich social life. That's such a tiny ammount, anybody can find like minded people. And with that base.
Who cares what people you are not interested in attracting, find attractive? It's irrelevant.
Lots more, but I think it gives a idea where I stand
My mom left me at 6 m.o., daddy was my whole world. So I looked for a partner who had my dad's wonderful qualities. Great insights in this video!
Must been great man
I'm a single Dad, my daughter's 13 and an only child, and she just came out as gay. Her basis is that she's never really found men attractive, but she's found 2 women attractive. She says she's struggled with it for 3 years. She said nothing has changed, she just wanted me to know. It's been a weird week.
Reverse thing happening in your case. I feel you, man. I have a daughter who about yo turn 15 this year but i am still married. I don't know for how much longer though...
Porn can turn your brain gay
I had a similar experience. I found it hard not to think I had failed her somehow, however silly that appears to me now in hindsight.
This is not the case, in fact this has become very common among young ladies these days, for reasons I don't care to speculate about here.
All you need to do is make sure she knows you love her and are proud of her if she takes pride in herself.
Every father wishes the best for his kids, may her future relationships be healthy ones, my friend.
Were you super stick and never let he have a little boyfriend when she was younger
I'm not a clinical psychologist, but work in clinic and am on my way toward a medical degree. What you have described is not uncommon. From my anecdotal experience in seeing many patient's and hearing their life histories, I'm guessing your daughter likely has self esteem issues which have been validated/exacerbated by boys in her class and comforted by female friends. There is also this aspect of social media and news that gets kids thinking about their sexual preferences much earlier. The entire subject of transgender people has been brought up in a wide variety of schools, and is part of some schools sexual health curriculum which can leaves some kids wondering "what am I actually attracted to". The best outcomes I have seen are not with overly supportive parents , but with parents that are able to talk, but overall ambivalent. Who your daughter is 'attracted' too really shouldn't matter to you, and when parents try to "lock the door" on subjects like this, their children just "climb out the window" so to speak. What speaks more volumes about her saying she is attracted to women is that she is saying she has 'struggled' with it. If she feels ashamed for being attracted to someone that type of stress over a long period of time can manifest as a wide variety of mood/personality and psychosomatic issues that haunt her down the line. Teenage years are awkward for most parents, hang in there.
I am glad I stumbled to you when I did, you always give a clear and reasonable explaniation of the dynamics between females and males and it´s soothing to finally approach the topics you discuss in an actual constructive way.
You´re the only one that does this, other manosphere channels always fuel the fire and if one isn´t carful enough, it will make you irredeemably resentful.
Thank you.
I noticed I was slowing heading down that road of resentment and frustration with women as a whole. I knew it could happen and so I kept a watchful eye.
My brothers also helped. They didn't do anything directly.
Its just when I started repeating what I'd been consuming they'd point out the flaws.
I'm glad I found this channel. This is the type of content I was looking for
I would only date a woman Who respect and love his father (parents in general)
Even though I know you'd make an exception for a particularly beautiful one, a beautiful girl that attunes to your sense of attraction.
I'd say it's a good value to remember for the rest of us that only seek women for relationships. That inner workings and what makes them themselves is more important than attractive physical qualities.
Only saying this because, When I was young I was so shallow and missed a lot of red flags in myself and others.
when i was with my gf/ex now sadly, i' always scanned and see how my gf acted with her parents etc, how she talked and did things with her father, i'd knew from those 2years with her, the father wasn't that bad, he knew his stuff but, i'd knew the mother was always in charge of the household etc, i'd saw the kinda same pattern in my gf, even when i was in my masculinity, it was not always a pleasant time with her, she was also much in her masuclinity side aswell since she learned from the mother, ooh well, it's over a year since the break, life goes one, but i was fun acknowledging the relationship to learn from it,
I grew up with the absence of a father and always practiced feminity from my mother despite being a male. The other side of masculinity was taught half from my head of the house, grandmother. All along I followed and keeled to femininity as to obey the masculine grandma and follow her commands as she please without objection in order to void conflicts even when I know it is inequitable and prejudiced. Here I am at 24yo and went through 2 female acquaintance linking their major source of relationship issue. Now I realized my lack of masculinity was the cause. The first girl was interested in me but her high endowed masculinity forces control and authority over me was brutal, my masculinity was not strong enough hence I ghosted her. The second girl, tomboyish, was always seeking independence and embracing personal freedom free from family dependance. However she was able to open up and practice her feminity on me as time pass. Because I decided to take the initiative to show her my masculinity and let her develop the other side, feminity. Here's the crazy part where Doctor Grace hits the nail on the head, these both girls grew up under the roof of their grandmother and have little to no contact with their father while the tomboy had bad experience with hers. It shows these 2 girls had their character developed around the lack or the abusive part of masculinity. Hance, their adverse counter to act non femininely but rather the opposite where healthy masculine men like me that is slowly practicing find it hard to partake interest to such specimen.
I was able to puzzle this up because of the observation of the ghosted girl and the other, tomboyish , pure masculine conversation to ask about her insecurities directly face to face as mean to wanted to know her more. She opened up femininely and positively to my surprise.
When the Father is present: He's too controlling & abu$ive.
When the Father is absent: He's never around, he only gives me things. He doesn't know or understand me
My ex went back to Poland when our daughter was 3 months old. And since then (now she is 10) I met them maybe 20 times. And I always had to go there apart maybe a couple of times when the baby was still under 2yo. It's so sad and selfish that the mother decided that she had to grow in that way :( She didn't also find another man there, so my daughter will grow with all the "missing father" symptoms, thanks to that.
Meanwhile many women insist they can fill both rolls when raising a child.
Not imposibble but unlikely and requires massive dedication.
@@kemalkorkmaz2049 no, it's biologically impossible
@@SaneInsaneSanity I have a very decent friend who were raised by a single mom. They are both great.
@@kemalkorkmaz2049 they might both be great, but that doesn't mean that the mom filled both roles
@@SaneInsaneSanity Not necessarily but at least we can say that she did not fail at all.
Some women grow up with good strong fathers, but choose to still do silly things/bad choices in her youthful days. I’d say it’s also got to do with how spoiled she is by her father. Coz with that spoiled mindset she thinks she can get away with anything.
Spoiling a kid, female or not, is bad parenting. The truth is most men make poor parents. Providers? Maybe. Parents? no.
Croe Sus true
The opportunity to be a great father is sometimes stolen from the father by the mother
Especially since divorce was pushed hard since 1960s.
Yeah. I didn't understand why he left out the most likely reason why girls grow up without their fathers - the family courts.
This is so true
@@jaydamalley3398 and the welfare state don't forget that
You steal it from yourself by marrying a woman completely unsuitable of being a mother and giving her children..
I've lived the same problems with my dad and I didn't realize the problems that caused me in my relationships with men, until I started searching for information. I thought I had a good relationship with him because he was a present father but actually he was an emotional absent. I didn't feel seen or loved by him as a child, only I did when I would talk to him about things he was interested in. As you said, is really hard to live a life without a father's love for a girl, but when you start to work on yourself everyday to become the person you wanna be, things get better. Is a long way and a lot of effort but for me was important to have a healthy relationship with men and I've seen how this changes affected me in a positive way. Is important to pay attention to old patterns and try to leave them behind
you're the rare ones mentioning fathers accountability in the manosphere and it is good
This is by far the BESTEST video out there on girls with Daddy Issues. I've seen people trying to drag viewers on why you should not date and stay away from daddy issues chicks bla bla ..For heaven's sake that's not the point! We are not suppose to hate these women, we are suppose to understand and decide based on it. let the adult partner decide what's best for him, AND more than anything else a girl with daddy issues may be a genuinely nice person deserving of love, probably more than many other chicks without daddy issues. We can choose to be the person we are or going to be. I like how informative and psychologically relevant this video is, moreso with a compassionate discussion. Very Underrated video!!
As a single father who raised two daughters by myself this is some of the best advice I've ever heard. Luckily I learned it when they were young. Now I couldn't be prouder of the young women my daughters have become.
I raised 4 girls. I can tell you for a fact that; if they feel that they can always fall back on a supportive parent, they will extend themselves much farther. If you give them total freedom, they become VERY independent. They want to stay that way. They get a job and earn their own money. Just let them know that; if they fall, you will catch them and, put them back on their feet.
Easily my favorite lesson from this intelligent and insightful young man.
This is a great video. The best part though is that you are being completely serious while shooting in a blanket fort. STRONG!
Her reaction: "Why are you worried about it?"
My reaction... "true.. let her choose her detrimental life. BUT Don't complain about your bad decisions and Don't expect me to pay for them."
The system in the U.S. is designed to encourage women to leave men and put them on child support. It literally encourages this behavior. So I disagree with your comment about the men's role in being there for their daughters. Most men want to be in their children's lives, however many of us are denied this because of a system strategically set up and designed to remove us from the family unit. I can confidently say that most women in the U.S. who are single mothers, choose to be. Keep up the good work. You really make a difference.
Oh I'm flattered I'm among these 5% female audience, waiting to get my first job to join the 20% on Patreon
@._. Yes it's Arabic, I'm from Egypt
How did you know?
Me from algeria
@@softhero9364 يا أهلا ويا سهلا
The older I get, the more clearly I see how much the absence of fathers (largely due to divorce court/family law) is destroying society. Besides all the issue mentioned, it's become clear to me that mothers help you be a kid, but fathers are the ones who help boys and girls develop into mature adults. Without a healthy father figure, psychological and emotional maturity never happens in many cases. This goes for both males and females.
I shed a tear towards the end of this and related to it so heavily it’s sad.
As a father of an adult female I’ve watched her struggle, I’ve cried for her and tried to do the right thing. This is multigenerational stuff that blinded me to my failings. Thank you. This is at the core of the meaning of life, why we are here and in preparation to someday become “human beings” God willing.
This video hits close to home. Helps open my eyes, like many of your videos. I can tell so much of what you’re saying is true, as I see it played out in the lives of my family, and in my daughter’s mother. Share this video with as many people as you can.
*How is your relationship like with your father?*
- A "wise" man.
This is the first question I am going to ask on any date I ever go on
Drill drill drill for answers
The less stable her relationship from the most important men in her life,the more attention she needs from multiple men and the faster she gets bored in a stable relationship cause she is not used to it.
The most trustfull relationships for me ,where always with Girls with a carefull father.
ALWAYS
It is my belief that the absence of a girl’s father during her formative years can lead to borderline personality disorder. This presents with a fear of abandonment which is worsened by promiscuous behavior, substance abuse and alcoholism.
Thanks for helping me to better understand the women in my life, and for helping me to maintain healthy relationships with them.
For a young man you are really quite wise, Alexander.
You and your channel are one of the best things in my life, man. Thank you very much for all the answers that you gave me and other people!
This is the most articulate way of explaining this topic that I've ever heard.
This type of knowledge will change people's families for generations.
Yet they will never teach this in school
My ex's dad worked his ass off on the railroads, in very dangerous conditions. She never went without anything, and she ended up being "feminine" without any of the traits other than looks. She was and still is without any life skills because dad and mom pampered all aspects of her life. Father's just seem to just be the latest scape-goat here. Her mother was the true problem when it came to raising a proper woman(she didn't), and her mother before. All the men in her family just work hard and keep going while the women steer themselves and others the off the road into the the "wall" of life.
yep, if you're mom never lifted a finger what message does it send to the daughter. They fully expect to look good get a husband and get taken care off. lol 🤣 I couldn't the idea makes me tense 😬
By my experience, men hate and dont want self sufficient women. Or maybe just my looks are not sufficient.
A lot has been said about daddy issues of both sexes in recent years (Jordan Peterson comes to mind). What do we know about mommy issues?
I don't know anything
Alex iv discovered u there lately and I must say u are helping me understand my chaotic childhood to put it mildly and the impact both my dysfunctional parents had on my phycology growing up , iv been lost in understanding parental Dynamics all of my life , your content which is so to point it's scary and seriously refreshing in my understanding the Dynamics from both sides , how it affects both genders in children and the consequences of truma on phycology because the home dynamic simply was not right and very disfunctional , the impact on children growing into adulthood , future relationship s ect , salute to u my friend for opening my mind with such fantastic insight from u , much love from Australia 💌🤙
You really feel about this subject I can tell, and as a father of a daughter of 9 i teared up a few times. Its really a beautiful dynamic!
That drawing in the thumbnail is fantastic! One of the most complicated single-continuous line illustrations I've ever seen
Dude, I don’t know where you come up with this stuff, but you’re a legend man. Awesome video as always! As a 19 year old in college you help me out so much and I just wanted to say thank you. I’ve been watching you for about a year now and wanted to thank you for your courage to make these in today’s social climate
We don't even need a generation of PERFECT fathers. As Winnicott said, they just need to be GOOD ENOUGH.
I once spoke to a girl online who was sweet at first and then as i got to know her through our daily conversations , i found out that she did the traditional masculine role in her family by taking care of her mother , earning the bread and providing for the family. I tried to empathise with her and told her how hard it must be to be in her place. She called me a "misogynistic patriarchal male" and blocked me. Women lack awareness. Just remembered this story when watching this video.
Ahh me and my dad are super close, he made a lot of mistakes but he always loved me and my brother and is this here for me today at 21. I do think girls need BOTH a father and mother figure :/ for balance.
Your videos get better and more articulate as time goes on
Awesome stuff!
Fantastic video, Alexander! This is so important. It's actually a "camouflaged" dating question very early on about her relationship with her father and mother. So many women I've dated had terrible, not caring fathers. The woman I'm dating had a terrible, mean father but her mother was wonderful. I'm having open conversations with my gf to understand what happened to her growing up and understanding how we are open with each other now.
VERY well said! I couldn't agree more with this video!More people of/from ALL aspects of life, both men and women, young and old, need to watch and really listen to and understand more of your videos, because if all of the info that you discuss in your many various videos was MUCH more widespread knowledge among the generations, especially the younger ones, and definitely among both sexes, then this world would be a MUCH better, more enjoyable place to interact, for both men AND women, especially socially and romantically!
Alexander, YOU are specifically one of the BEST that I've ever found at comprehending AND explaining all of this kind of stuff to the world, and you are also probably the only one I've seen so far who I might actually consider paying for their Patreon subscription sometime... Maybe, as I'm barely able to pay my rent each month as it is rn, but maybe in the future I might, if I can become more financially abundant somehow... I can't afford ANY recurring payments for anything rn, other than my cellphone and my car insurance, which are both needed for work... I don't even have internet or pay TV service at my house, I only have data on my phone, and that's how I'm typing this comment out rn actually...
In any case, thank you SO MUCH for all of the great info that you provide for free here on UA-cam also, as I know in this modern world there's not much thanks or true appreciation of value being offered by the mass majority. As a society we've all just become mostly a bunch of "takers" who only think about themselves, but there are still a few of us who at least realize true value when they see it, and are greatful for it!
Keep up your great work, as you are obviously a man on a mission to make this world a better place! Thank you so much for that!
This is very true a girl raised without a father is one that is damaged beyond repair indeed, the world needs more fathers that actually care about their children and spend time with them so we can have more healthy men and women
Every time I see some left-wing protest rally with lots of loud, angry women, the first thing that leaps to mind is "daddy issues".
Stop using women's bad behaviour and blaming it on men. The fault ALWAYS seems to be the man's problem. People need to be accountable for their actions PERIOD Both women and men.
Don't ignore the daddy issues. My ex wife is oddly attached to her dad as an adult, when he was beyond abusive to her and her family. Her jezebel sister uses men for resources and secretly hates her father, but he has money at this point in his life. Their mother still acts like a 23 year old. That woman did a number on me and baby trapped me. I love my son and I have a lot of work to do to make sure he grows up to be the best man he can be.
SO glad you mentioned Religious Women with good Father/Daughter bonding. One of my dearest friends in the world was raised that way and she stands out so much against the backdrop of broken Women covered in tattoos with terrible attitudes.
13:20
My relationship with my mother: lacking
My relationship with my father: lacking
My romantic relationships: lacking
It all makes sense now
Thing is you're also now an adult, you can't blame your parents anymore for what you're lacking, it's you who can also through discipline, knowledge, and dilegence cultivate proper feminine and masculine values.
Regardless of your sexual orientation whichever partner you find can be vetted towards a positive or negative role.
How they treat you will determine your feminine values.
How you choose to learn about yourself and carry yourself will determine your masculine values.
@@warlock479 I've been working on myself and physically I consider myself a high 8.5-9/10. But mentally I guess I'm just not good enough at forming relationships with people and now I'm starting to understand it boils down to my lacking relationship with my parents. I also do blame my terrible luck with not being able to meet enough people, and not being able to get anything out of the ones I do meet. But I'll keep learning and I know one day it'll work out for sure. With absolute certainty.
@@Jamsessionroom1337 Absolutely. I blame no one but myself. And I'll keep on learning and improving until I make it
Fun fact: Studies have shown the both men and women tend to date people similar to their parents (aka men date women like their mothers and women date men like their fathers)
Alexander saving the internet one video at a time.
I was looking for this video long time ago.
Now, everything (without any doubt) makes sense.
You're preaching wisdom that we do not teach the children any longer. I watch these videos and hear what you are saying and I wonder what it means to our society that men and women have grown up without the benefit of learning these fundamental things that older people take for granted. So much has changed in the last two generations and it is scary to see how subtle and unnoticed or misunderstood the changes have been.
Kinda random question Alex: Have you ever thought of writing a book about things you talk about in this channel? I see you're very articulate and have in depth knowledge.
P.s- Really enjoy your content so thank you.
At last, my only daughter will turn 15 this year, so far i've bitten the bullets and crash the storms just in order to be there for her despite anything her mother do to me. She seems grown quite well and can acknowledge my male existence as model for her. Pardon me dear daughter, however it breaks my heart, for i am about to leave your mum, soon. Just know well that i will be there for you, forever.
Typing this make me shed a tear. Lord, forgive me... Forgive me.
What makes you want to leave her?
Try to stay in her life and be a good father towards her
@@christinatambua9473 My fault. II only found out she's toxic and low quality after marriage, still we had started rather well but unfortunately those aspects only grow stronger in the late years. I managed to survive for 16 years though. I think i had enough. I really hate failure but I suppose I have paid my due for now.
I will fulfiil the rest of my responsibility as a father in a different role. Soon.
@@Inhalepens Thankyou. That's the only thing in my heart for now, brother. As long as I breath.
You are a coward a cowardly man,you are destroying your daughters life for your self,shame on you,shame on you for choosing a "bad girl"and ignoring all the good wo,em as a mother of your kids,at least try To have a conversation with her mother,if you can't communicate with her,then you are just a lazy irresponsible coward who wants a way out,your daughter will remember this for life,she'll likely have terrible relationships because the first man in her life broke her enact and betrayed her before anyone else,you ,sir,are a part of the problem,fix things before it's too late
I dated a woman for 3.5 years who had amazing parents, a loving mother, a child psychologist father. I don't know what was in her past, but in our relationship she was super masculine and did not have any sense of femininity, and a very compromised sense of self. It made the relationship very hard, as she was always testing me and trying to be "more masculine" than I was, which eventually brought the whole thing crashing down, as understanding as I tried to be. Keep in mind that femininity is not 100% up to a girl's parents - she also has to accept it, and this is becoming harder for women today since society is pushing them to "measure up" to men and be masculine / face the world. In my experience, they hate taking on a masculine role, but feel shamed by other women and society if they don't.
This may be one of the most important, and most needed videos on UA-cam.
Please make more videos like this.
I'm doing the best that I possibly can with my daughter (and my son of course).. Believe it or not, I take nuggets of wisdom from my YT mentors, such as yourself, and incorporate them into my parenting. I love digging deep into psychological problems like this.. thanks for covering this vital topic.
You absolutely nailed this one! There are exceptions like everything else but so true for most.
Don't blame men that are forced into being so called deadbeat dad's, have you considered that most of the mother's in this situations either intentionally deny father's access to their children or in many cases didn't choose the right man to begin with.
Sure there are some bad father's out there but it's time we make bad mother's more accountable!
Forced? That is way overplayed my dude. Allot of men have sex with the wrong women because all they can think with is with their d*cks instead of their heads. Men need to start being more responsible with sexuality and not sticking their d*ck in crazy and specially not without a condom.
That's victim mentality. Both men and women must own up to the disaster that the West currently is.
@@Nebelung13 But you're forgetting that currently 100% of the blame is placed on "deadbeat" dads
@@Ash_Wen-li currently? Everyone in the comments blames the mother, go to any conservative video about this topic and they will all blame the mother, I think it's mostly 50% 50%
This Video Is Probably The Best Most Beautiful Educational Video You Have Ever Done! Gold. Thank You! 🙌🏻🙏🏻
Just broke up with a girl with daddy issues it hurts so bad but i saw future problems. Crazy next day your video comes out after I have ended the relationship
I (guy) come from a really healthy family, with all of us still living together.
Yet, the most toxic relations I ever had in my life were with the fatherless girls, possibly they were sociopaths.
The damage was too much to deal with and now I just stay clear from anyone who does not have healthy relations with their parents.
Ironically, having a daughter, pushed me towards improving myself as a man.
From my observations this is so accurate and the depth of analysis is refreshing.
Alex - This is why the breakup of the family is a GENIUS move from a strategy standpoint if you’re trying to takeover a country without boots on the ground. It’s the long approach.
Would you mind adding closed caption for the deaf and those who can't listen in public for future videos?
This is so true. Why she has masculine energy most of the time and she feels entitled for me to pay the bills, take care of the house, make her constant compliments, and not doing anything in return.
15:17 that explained everything I observed after breaking up with my former gf. I hooked up with some girls and every girl who sleeps around just wanted to please me but at the same time they explained to me that they will never need a man and they just want to focus on their career.
I went into this trying to understand what a former friend of mine may have been going through.
I understand what you have explained about Daddy issues but I am not sure about my former friend's view now
See, when we first met she always said she was attracted to her father more then mother. But as we got older her good side towards him was slowly becoming more spiteful and wanted to blame her father for everything that didn't go exactly how she wanted/planned for it.
I even asked her "why are you with him still if he treats you like this?" She never answered me but it's like her major concerns were ruining his life and spitting him every turn.
I am honestly glad I burnt bridges with her.