Do Not Hesitate, Show No Mercy

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  • Опубліковано 3 лют 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1 тис.

  • @citizencreeps7086
    @citizencreeps7086 3 місяці тому +7469

    To be fair Darth Academius is absolute banger of a Sith name

    • @GAarcher
      @GAarcher 3 місяці тому +645

      *Darth Doctorateus*

    • @LordOfGilneas
      @LordOfGilneas 3 місяці тому +60

      Agreed!

    • @zegpath81
      @zegpath81 3 місяці тому +21

      Fr

    • @brettwood1351
      @brettwood1351 3 місяці тому +308

      Darth Thesis works better than I'd have thought too.

    • @Smashboozer
      @Smashboozer 3 місяці тому +74

      Darth Jedi Diploma with Some College

  • @georgehouliaras7239
    @georgehouliaras7239 3 місяці тому +4301

    -Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father's Thesis.
    -He told me enough. He told me you deleted it.
    -No, Luke. I WROTE the Thesis.

    • @hcook1023
      @hcook1023 3 місяці тому +568

      I would actually love to see a sequel series with Luke following his father's academic devastation

    • @andrewponder3855
      @andrewponder3855 3 місяці тому +663

      "No... that's not true... that'd be *plagiarism!"*
      "Search yo- no, Luke. I'm telling you that I am your father."
      "I bet you tell everyone that, *Vader!"*

    • @dm121984
      @dm121984 3 місяці тому +311

      ​@@andrewponder3855"look, just because Vader is Dutch for father doesn't mean I'm everyone's daddy. I just happen to be your dad" - Darth Thesis
      "... what language is 'Dutch'?" - Luke Skywalker

    • @blankymcblankface
      @blankymcblankface 3 місяці тому +238

      ⁠@@dm121984”It’s not a language the Jedi would teach you.”

    • @choboibigly6565
      @choboibigly6565 3 місяці тому +43

      @@andrewponder3855 Certified chef after cooking that up, holy shit

  • @hilarityinshoes273
    @hilarityinshoes273 3 місяці тому +4256

    It’s honestly adorable how much Anakin loves Padme. And it’s EXTREMELY impressive that she has survived hundreds of Anakin’s thesis presentations.

    • @lisboah
      @lisboah 3 місяці тому +518

      They were made for each other.

    • @farofaespacial3154
      @farofaespacial3154 3 місяці тому +379

      That's because they're made for each other. They combine perfectly on all aspects of life, even in Anakin's thesis.

    • @thelakeman2538
      @thelakeman2538 3 місяці тому +519

      It is said that she even pointed out many flaws in the thesis, leading to Anakin making many revisions.

    • @LiberalismRules
      @LiberalismRules 3 місяці тому +229

      Makes sense, Padme was very always very smart and knows a ton about politics and philosophy

    • @worndown8280
      @worndown8280 3 місяці тому

      Padme is just in it for the deep and aggressive "negotiations" post academic debate.

  • @VestinVestin
    @VestinVestin 3 місяці тому +4548

    I'm beginning to suspect Chancellor Palpatine isn't arguing in good faith...

    • @menorak
      @menorak 3 місяці тому +171

      Preposterous!

    • @videocrowsnest5251
      @videocrowsnest5251 3 місяці тому +112

      I mean, something does seem a bit off here. But I can't quite put my finger on it.

    • @Selene-ex1jz
      @Selene-ex1jz 3 місяці тому +135

      @@videocrowsnest5251 Don't you mean put your fingies on it?!

    • @DissociatedWomenIncorporated
      @DissociatedWomenIncorporated 3 місяці тому +27

      What have you got against this sweet old man!?

    • @theone-tg4ey
      @theone-tg4ey 3 місяці тому +1

      this

  • @deltahalo241
    @deltahalo241 3 місяці тому +3977

    Palpatine accidentaly ushers in a golden age of academia as it turns out the Younglings really take to Anakin's thesis

    • @olliveraira6122
      @olliveraira6122 3 місяці тому +216

      I would love this to be the next episode!!!

    • @theone-tg4ey
      @theone-tg4ey 3 місяці тому +57

      very based

    • @ultimaterecoil1136
      @ultimaterecoil1136 3 місяці тому +194

      This could even be the reason the empire functions better then the republic did.

    • @TheDimensionDweller
      @TheDimensionDweller 3 місяці тому +42

      Good Ending

    • @AmandaFessler
      @AmandaFessler 3 місяці тому +108

      @@ultimaterecoil1136 The Inquisitors end up as masters - not quite on the level of doctors - of the thesis. And the galaxy is better for it

  • @lisboah
    @lisboah 3 місяці тому +3827

    "I am technically prophesied to kill you"
    "That's one interpretation of bringing balance to the Force"
    "I was talking about the Rule of Two doctrine founded by Darth Bane. So, in a way, whether I choose the Light side path or the Dark side path, I will end up killing you in the future"
    "... Oh..."

    • @WastedPotential17
      @WastedPotential17 3 місяці тому +643

      Perfect (and ironic) logic from Darth Dichotomy

    • @KingOfSciliy
      @KingOfSciliy 3 місяці тому +412

      "But, Da . . . Anakin. Have you considered MY thesis on the nature of the prophecy; balance means both sides, Light and Dark, must be equal in measure. With you upon my scale, the light side outweighs us. There must be only two left on the Light side for there to be balance."
      "Or, what if we just did a massive recruitment spree?"
      "What?"
      "We put out large posters and messages across the galaxy; "The Force Needs You, to sign up for the dark side and bring balance"

    • @GayleColson
      @GayleColson 3 місяці тому +137

      Let me guess: Anakin sits all the Jedi down and reads them his thesis. Then the whole Jedi Order commits mass suicide.

    • @azers8298
      @azers8298 3 місяці тому +93

      @@GayleColsonNot only the men…but the women, and the children !

    • @Umbra_Ursus
      @Umbra_Ursus 3 місяці тому +82

      To be fair, nobody really seems to listen to Bane, anyway. Between Vosa, Ventress, the various Inquisitors, odd cases like Grievous or that Lego force-clone, and probably a dozen cases I'm unaware of... Darth Bane must be rolling over in his grave, honestly.

  • @GarchompandGible
    @GarchompandGible 3 місяці тому +2880

    "I've noticed I tell many great knee slappers, but you have yet to laugh."
    Gold

    • @GAarcher
      @GAarcher 3 місяці тому +29

      *Dicth? Stop making languages*

    • @TheGuardDuck
      @TheGuardDuck 3 місяці тому +10

      This who video is gold! I haven't laughed this hard in years!

    • @Nedmac
      @Nedmac 3 місяці тому +16

      The absolute seriousness and unflinchingness with which he called them knee slappers was so great.

    • @Theology.101
      @Theology.101 3 місяці тому +15

      “… it hurts my feelings a little bit”

    • @alfredomaclaughlin1185
      @alfredomaclaughlin1185 3 місяці тому +8

      That's what I'm gonna tell my kids when they don't react to my Dad jokes

  • @thefreshkingofbel1179
    @thefreshkingofbel1179 3 місяці тому +2244

    Would be hilarious if the kids, unlike the older jedi actually really like anakins thesis and decide to join him on his scientific persuit

    • @venthier3093
      @venthier3093 3 місяці тому +280

      That's what the Inquisition is for, the grand inquisitor really fits in this role with his pursuit of knowledge.
      They even met for the 1st time in the archives

    • @Random_dud31
      @Random_dud31 3 місяці тому +141

      I have a feeling the kids will criticize his thesis and point out the major issues with Ani Thesis.
      And Ani will get angry and pull out his lightsaber because he cannot refute the Kids points

    • @justsomejerseydevilwithint4606
      @justsomejerseydevilwithint4606 3 місяці тому

      ABSOLUTELY! They overthrow both Jedi and Sith, bringing balance to the force with academic expertise. They thoroughly and RIGOROUSLY examine every single thought exercise ever brought up,using the lessons learned for dominance both in combat and scholarly endeavors. They hail TToDPtW and Dr. Anakin Skywalker as the birth of this new age, for in the examination of the Dichotomy, True Balance has been brought to the galaxy. More and more people join the Order of Dichotomy, reformed with great wisdom and endless scholarly discussion. Every new idea they come across, the Doctors and other scholars of the Order of Dichotomy thoroughly explore every aspect, application, and implications that can be thought of from these ideas. Someone brings up solar panels being used in space, so they put into place Dyson Spheres in uninhabited systems, or systems without planets,using them as massive farmworlds and factory worlds, calling them "Life Stars" for where once was a useless system and a star burning away at nothing until its death, now, they can bring life to the galaxy. Everyone absolutely HATES this generation of scholars at first, with their potentially lethal rants, but slowly, a cultural shift towards scholarly insight spreads across the galaxy, an Empire that ensures peace, freedom, justice, and security for all its citizens.

    • @memeinatorun-official144
      @memeinatorun-official144 3 місяці тому +71

      @@Random_dud31false, anakin would gain an army of like minded yappers

    • @pierrickpenard-dumont889
      @pierrickpenard-dumont889 3 місяці тому +38

      Star Wars : Revenge of the Academicians

  • @quipildor7
    @quipildor7 3 місяці тому +1375

    I love that Palpatine is slowly learning how to actually manipulate Anakin and get him to do what Palpatine wants.

    • @mayke3280
      @mayke3280 3 місяці тому +138

      Going off script is a pathway to many abilities...

    • @thebiggestcauldron
      @thebiggestcauldron 3 місяці тому +78

      @@mayke3280 Abilities some might call... _lighty fingies_ .

    • @GameModder
      @GameModder 3 місяці тому +36

      Yeah and fall to the dark side in this version looks more plausible than in the movie

    • @peterjohansson1828
      @peterjohansson1828 11 днів тому +2

      Sure but you just KNOW it'll back fire when anakin starts reciting his thesis to him when he helps luke overthrow the empire.

  • @Xylos144
    @Xylos144 3 місяці тому +1224

    "A Kreiaian reading of the prophecy"
    Now hold on, go back, I want to hear what he has to say.

    • @cc0767
      @cc0767 3 місяці тому +152

      I think the pessimistic approach outlined in the subtitles makes sense. The "prophecy" only exists to shield jedi from criticism, it creates a clear balance between dark and light but nobody actually knows what it does, so everyone can use it for their purpose.

    • @Barwasser
      @Barwasser 3 місяці тому +91

      I am also interested. Kreia certainly had some good insight into force-related issues.
      To this day, "The Philosophy of Kreia: A Critical Examination of Star Wars" is one of my favorite Star Wars videos on UA-cam.

    • @nicholasgutierrez9940
      @nicholasgutierrez9940 3 місяці тому +23

      Look up philosophy of Kreia. It’s like 3 -2hr long videos

    • @Chest3rTheSquirrel
      @Chest3rTheSquirrel 3 місяці тому +12

      @@cc0767 yeah i can 100% hear this in kreias voice

    • @diablominero
      @diablominero Місяць тому +11

      As I understand it, Kreia believed that the Force drives cyclic battle between Jedi and Sith, creating and destroying balance repeatedly at tremendous human cost. At one point she tried to destroy the Force to make it stop, but later she developed a combination of Jedi and Sith philosophy, which she believed would allow its practitioners to resist participating in the cyclic Jedi/Sith war.
      I think Anakin is claiming that the prophecy functions to distract the Jedi from the cyclicality of their situation. If they believe that the Chosen One will bring balance forever, they won't try hard enough to escape from their war, and human costs will keep piling up.

  • @dr.virus1295
    @dr.virus1295 3 місяці тому +1917

    Anakin: I have brought knowledge, brilliance & enlightenment to my new empire!
    Obi-Wan: Your new empire?
    Anakin: Don't make me lecture you.

    • @mustafayigit8529
      @mustafayigit8529 3 місяці тому +146

      Obi-wan:Anakin my alligence is to the religion to the temple
      Anakin:İf you are not with science, Then you are my enemy
      Obi-wan:Only an atheist deals in science, I will do what ı must

    • @brettwood1351
      @brettwood1351 3 місяці тому +154

      @@mustafayigit8529 Anakin: This is a common misconception, but a great many early scientific discoveries were made under the auspices of various religions. The Bomer monks alone advanced the understanding of neurosurgery and cybernetics greatly in the process of figuring out how to put their brains in jars.

    • @AzguardMike
      @AzguardMike 3 місяці тому +30

      Jedism vs Scientologist

    • @breadtoast1036
      @breadtoast1036 3 місяці тому +26

      @@brettwood1351 shut up anakin

    • @Pin-Din7
      @Pin-Din7 3 місяці тому +14

      *starts lecturing him*
      Obi-Wan: so this is why Master Windu jumped out of the window. Fortunately I've been going thru this for much of your life Anakin. Plus, you can't lecture the lecture master.

  • @funbricks1
    @funbricks1 3 місяці тому +1072

    "ANAKIN, ANAKIN, NO!" - Qui Gonn's ghost watching Anakin tell thousands of Younglings the thesis, with the very interesting side tangent

    • @andylam2265
      @andylam2265 3 місяці тому +74

      3 or 4 times back to back

    • @user-ev3fq9hw7v
      @user-ev3fq9hw7v 3 місяці тому +17

      @@andylam2265 On this day Palpy didn’t realize how fraked he was XD

    • @benl2140
      @benl2140 3 місяці тому +17

      Unfortunately, Obi-Wan wasn't there to translate, so Anakin had no idea what he was saying.

    • @Yglorba
      @Yglorba 3 місяці тому +10

      The real question is whether Obi Wan and Yoda are going to survive viewing the security tapes of this thesis reading.

    • @lemonlupinreuben5362
      @lemonlupinreuben5362 3 місяці тому +6

      To be fair, they shouldn't have built the nursery on a cliff with a window facing the edge

  • @frenzalrhomb6919
    @frenzalrhomb6919 3 місяці тому +977

    "Have you ever heard the story of "Darth Kneeslap the Thesis?"
    "It's not a story the Jedi EVER want to hear about again!"

    • @marcel2837
      @marcel2837 3 місяці тому +79

      "And no sith either, by the way"

    • @frenzalrhomb6919
      @frenzalrhomb6919 3 місяці тому +17

      @@marcel2837
      Indeed.

    • @parkminjae8994
      @parkminjae8994 3 місяці тому +8

      @@marcel2837if extended, no sentient beings

  • @victormirandakoepke8352
    @victormirandakoepke8352 3 місяці тому +1089

    I really love the Padme and Anakin relationship in this alternative timeline
    With Padme being willing to listen and engage Anakin on his Thesis as well as calling him Daddy

    • @thelakeman2538
      @thelakeman2538 3 місяці тому +51

      Isn't he like 5 years or so younger than her, and given how they looked like when they first met, it'd make more sense for the reverse to be the case.

    • @prognosis-22
      @prognosis-22 3 місяці тому +79

      I know right? I'm not looking forward to find out how their relationship ends in this version. i couldn't give a damn about them in the real movies. But knowing this channel, good chance they don't have a falling out and it's just force choking kink gone wrong.

    • @gamechimp
      @gamechimp 3 місяці тому +45

      ​@@thelakeman2538they call each other Mummy and Daddy because they already knew Padme was pregnant.

    • @jyotirani8187
      @jyotirani8187 3 місяці тому +34

      To be fair, she probably called him Daddy in the original timeline too.

    • @RedTHedge
      @RedTHedge 3 місяці тому +7

      ​@@thelakeman2538 Given how they looked like as kids she looked 3 or 4 years older than him tbh

  • @smugsneasel
    @smugsneasel 3 місяці тому +638

    Wait, no hold on. Go back to Darth Academus. That one rules!

    • @yama123numbercauseytdemand4
      @yama123numbercauseytdemand4 3 місяці тому

      I thank you meant: ,,That one teaches!''

    • @Skullair313
      @Skullair313 14 годин тому

      *DR.* Darth Academius. He has worked hard for his title and deserves to use it.

  • @RealMicsta
    @RealMicsta 3 місяці тому +195

    2:39 This is the part where I realized that the betrayal at Mustafar HAS TO BE Anakin discovering Padme had earplugs in any time Anakin recited his thesis so that she could stay alive.

    • @sdm47
      @sdm47 3 місяці тому +34

      Or better yet they’re just having one of their debates but because anakin’s dark side now he ends up choking her just like in the movie but he’s like “shit this isn’t usually when happens when I do that”

  • @arbknight12
    @arbknight12 3 місяці тому +443

    Anakin: “You used lightning fingies.”
    Sidious: “Seriously Anakin. Smart or dumb. Pick one.”

    • @Smashboozer
      @Smashboozer 3 місяці тому +25

      ¿Por qué no ambos?

    • @Arualiaa
      @Arualiaa 3 місяці тому +40

      He’s smart! He just says “fingies” because that’s what his mother would call them when he was a child, and by remembering her like this, in a way, it’s like he’s carrying a piece of her with him. Really wholesome stuff he tells Padmé during their political debate.

    • @Excalibaard
      @Excalibaard 3 місяці тому +22

      The intellect required to shoot lightning from your fingies is insignificant compared to the intellect required to write a thesis on The Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise.
      Henceforth, lightning fingies is an appropriate description, despite the juxtaposition of words attributed to vaguely defined terms such as 'smart' or 'dumb' resulting in the dichotomy in Anakin's level of verbal expression.

    • @Tsinibor
      @Tsinibor 3 місяці тому +9

      I love the quirky intellectual trope though.

    • @SuperCountDooku
      @SuperCountDooku 3 місяці тому +8

      His use of the phrase “lightning fingies” represents the dichotomous relationship he has within his own mind, and points to the duality of how Anakin grew up. For he was but a child when Master Windu set him on the path of academic pursuit in TToDPtW studies. A child who had the academic ability to understand complex concepts about the nature of the force, but is unable to learn how to properly pronounce “fingers”

  • @legrandliseurtri7495
    @legrandliseurtri7495 3 місяці тому +414

    2:45 ''She has the thesis to my heart'' This is adorable.

  • @Doctor4077
    @Doctor4077 3 місяці тому +517

    *Fast forward to the A New Hope*
    Vader: the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant to the power of the three hour thesis of The Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise, written by the brilliant Dr. Anakin Skywalker.

    • @brettwood1351
      @brettwood1351 3 місяці тому +111

      Tarkin: Vader, we want fear of this Battlestation to cow the galaxy into submission. Not suicide.

    • @VestinVestin
      @VestinVestin 3 місяці тому +49

      _"Just a thought, but perhaps instead of blabbing about your Mickey Mouse degree you could focus on finding the stolen data tapes or locating the Rebels' hidden fortress?"_

    • @Doctor4077
      @Doctor4077 3 місяці тому +73

      @@VestinVestin “I find your lack of faith on Dr. Skywaker’s thesis disturbing. Perhaps you need a reminder of its genius. You see, referring to the tale of Dark Plagueis the wise-“

    • @RowanDrake47
      @RowanDrake47 3 місяці тому +37

      Two hours, not three. Two and a half with the interesting side tangent.

    • @Doctor4077
      @Doctor4077 3 місяці тому +41

      @@RowanDrake47 that was the original version. He added 30 more minutes with that part about the interpretation about the chosen one prophesy in a later edition.

  • @rboss5919
    @rboss5919 3 місяці тому +453

    Yoda: Not by blasters but by thesis these Jedi were killed.

    • @VestinVestin
      @VestinVestin 3 місяці тому +57

      Obi-Wan: "Who? Who could have done this?"
      Yoda: "Fucking kidding me you have got to be..."

  • @alltheclovers532
    @alltheclovers532 3 місяці тому +197

    When Vader thinks his children died in child birth he’s going to go on and on about the irony of his name and how it symbolises his dicotomy of his cybernetic existence.

  • @Gruntness5
    @Gruntness5 3 місяці тому +348

    Love that it took Palpatine this long to finally break down and just enable anakins thesis obsession to manipulate him 😂

    • @Death2all546
      @Death2all546 3 місяці тому +41

      Perhaps it’s because he finally understands, after experiencing it for himself, just how dangerous his thesis truly is.

    • @jotheunissen9274
      @jotheunissen9274 3 місяці тому +22

      @@Death2all546 More dangerous than the Death Star
      Palps should just build a planet sized megaphone for Anakin to spread his thesis

    • @Pihsrosnec
      @Pihsrosnec 3 місяці тому +4

      ​@@jotheunissen9274luckily for the universe, sound doesn't travel in a vacuum

    • @jotheunissen9274
      @jotheunissen9274 3 місяці тому +5

      @@Pihsrosnec It truly is a dichotomy to speak yet not be heard

    • @epicphantom589
      @epicphantom589 28 днів тому +1

      @@Pihsrosnec Tell that to Star Wars logic

  • @deasttttt
    @deasttttt 3 місяці тому +383

    To be fair Darth Dichotomy sums him up pretty neatly

  • @Klokinator
    @Klokinator 3 місяці тому +395

    Younglings: "Master Skywalker! What is this all about?"
    Anakin: *Ignites lightsaber*
    Younglings: "Gasp! Here's here to kill us!"
    Anakin: "Now that my blade made of light has been activated, there should be sufficient illumination for you all to gather around and peruse the contents of this scroll I've written. You see, it's a thesis I wrote which discusses the dichotomy of Darth Plagueis the Wise. And-"
    Younglings: "This is so much worse!"

    • @craytherlaygaming2852
      @craytherlaygaming2852 3 місяці тому +75

      That one youngling: "Um Acktually! the tragedy of darth plagius the wise was first leaked through damasque holdings, under the lable of 'fuck that apprentice of mine, and his shitty speeches'. And was used as a propoganda piece against chancellor palpatine shortly after his rise to power, one can summarize through the depiction of the apprentice as a violent sociopath. That it was meant to discredit him, however when you look at the subtext it highlights the insecurities of both individuals and as a result the inherint flaw in the ideology of the sith. And how the ruel of two as a concept itself is doomed to fail due to it's unsustainability as a ideology which fails to consider sentient error as a fact of existence. Through the story itself which is originally written by the apprentice in question, we can gleam that the apprentice considered himself superior to others. But also how he constantly overlooks the fact that people in general don't wish the harm of others, and surrounds himself with similarly minded people, cutting him off from potential allies that might be able to fill in blindspots his own ideology created, such as the fact that by perusing power above all else. He's actively creating more enemies and by hiding his true nature he's alienating himself from all those he does surround himself with making the risk of betrayal that much greater."

    • @dm121984
      @dm121984 3 місяці тому +56

      ​@@craytherlaygaming2852"..." - Darth Vader
      "..." - that youngling
      "I have found my own apprentice" - Darth Vader.

    • @raxtuss1212
      @raxtuss1212 3 місяці тому +21

      ​@@craytherlaygaming2852
      Bro, you cooked. Actually, Im promoting you to Chef due to your cooking exceeding expectations of exceeding expectations

    • @nathanielweller25
      @nathanielweller25 3 місяці тому +1

      ​@dm121984 they'll probably call him teet sucker Skywalker while he tries to tell them his thesis, which will lead to him killing them or they get like the other jedi and jump on to his lightsaber willingly

  • @beeorsomething2230
    @beeorsomething2230 3 місяці тому +269

    love how padme is so obsessed with anakin that she's managed to listen to the thesis hundreds of times it's so cute
    keep making these man they're hilarious

  • @RandoGrunt
    @RandoGrunt 3 місяці тому +431

    "Kreiaian Reading"
    Influence Gained: Kreia.

    • @warlordofbritannia
      @warlordofbritannia 3 місяці тому +76

      Influence Lost: Kreia

    • @GZilla311
      @GZilla311 3 місяці тому +11

      @@warlordofbritanniaChris Avellone Gained: Kreia

    • @r3dp9
      @r3dp9 3 місяці тому +36

      My personal interpretation, supported by Kreia herself, is that her argument doesn't exist to provide guidance.
      It's purpose is to be acknowledged, then refuted and overcome.

    • @samueldimmock694
      @samueldimmock694 3 місяці тому +22

      ​@@r3dp9"Everything I tell you is a lie."
      Though to be fair, I'm not convinced she was sane enough to fully distinguish reality from her own lies, which might explain why she didn't even try to do the things she was training the player to do.

    • @josiaharaki7310
      @josiaharaki7310 3 місяці тому

      Wasn't that Vergre, not Kreia?​@@samueldimmock694

  • @tainoman7905
    @tainoman7905 3 місяці тому +229

    Palpatine is a great improviser for weaponizing a thesis against space wizards

  • @sharemation5339
    @sharemation5339 3 місяці тому +179

    I read it! Not just to woman, but to children too!

  • @B4rry16
    @B4rry16 3 місяці тому +347

    This is emblematic of the dichotomy inherent to the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise

    • @GAarcher
      @GAarcher 3 місяці тому +27

      *this is emblematic of the dichotomy inherent to *TToDPtW*

  • @erdberkuchentv
    @erdberkuchentv 3 місяці тому +104

    0:11 darth cuddles 💀

  • @megaman37456
    @megaman37456 3 місяці тому +103

    How to make the ending perfect: Make it that Anakin spreading his thesis actually worked 100% as Palpatine described only to lead to Palpatine losing the last shred of sanity he had left.

    • @Fancysaurus
      @Fancysaurus 3 місяці тому +21

      Ironic, he granted his own desire for immortality only to begin wishing for death.

    • @dm121984
      @dm121984 3 місяці тому +8

      "Unlimited (academic) POWER!!!" - Darth Lost It

    • @stylishmusic4012
      @stylishmusic4012 25 днів тому

      @@Fancysaurus I am sensing another thesis in your words

  • @jervisjavier
    @jervisjavier 3 місяці тому +146

    Imagine if he finally becomes Vader.
    Dr. Vader discussing his dissertation to Imperial Moffs, Tarkin and Emperor Palpatine

    • @oriontaylor
      @oriontaylor 3 місяці тому +49

      Tarkin would have sabotaged the Death Star reactor himself just to have it stop.

    • @c99kfm
      @c99kfm 3 місяці тому +22

      @@oriontaylor ...and of course, Anakin's tie fighter getting knocked out by the Falcon is what loosens Anakin's control over his (literally) captive audience long enough for Tarkin to press the button. Corresponding, funnily enough, with that utterly useless mosquito-sized blast by that X-wing.

    • @jsb6975.ah.crapbaskets
      @jsb6975.ah.crapbaskets 3 місяці тому +8

      And then Tarkin just has the Death Star self-destruct.

    • @davidelwood5819
      @davidelwood5819 3 місяці тому +10

      I find your lack of appreciation for my thesis disturbing

    • @jacksonscott3667
      @jacksonscott3667 3 місяці тому +2

      Admiral Motti: *comatose after 2.5 hours of prolonged thesis exposure*
      Tarkin: “Enough of this. Vader, release him.”

  • @arielcahn7728
    @arielcahn7728 3 місяці тому +69

    "She has the Thesis to my heart." is actually so cute though. Anakin's love for Padme surpasses even parody it seems.

  • @danielanderson69
    @danielanderson69 3 місяці тому +193

    I buckled at "please no" thanks my main man

    • @danielanderson69
      @danielanderson69 3 місяці тому +38

      Also I hope you're proud "fingies" has become part of my regular vocabulary

    • @andygamer1764
      @andygamer1764 3 місяці тому +6

      Now that you mentioned, it is part of mine too and am esl
      Lmao

    • @gamechimp
      @gamechimp 3 місяці тому +1

      *Woman

  • @MCSPARTAN501
    @MCSPARTAN501 3 місяці тому +47

    1:11 Palpatine was painfully aware that he wouldn't survive another 30 minutes of a philosophical lecture by Anakin

  • @danewillis263
    @danewillis263 Місяць тому +6

    In fairness, you used lightning fingies.”
    “Good lord, I traded Dooku for this.”

  • @rijaws
    @rijaws 3 місяці тому +86

    'Kreia'ian reading of the prophecy. I see what you did there.

  • @fischlnseele6715
    @fischlnseele6715 3 місяці тому +95

    I doubt that he’ll need Order 66 in this timeline.

    • @frenzalrhomb6919
      @frenzalrhomb6919 3 місяці тому +8

      I think that's kinda the point! lol

    • @GaussianEntity
      @GaussianEntity 3 місяці тому +14

      Order 66 will just be the clones capturing the Jedi to have them listen to the full thesis and these Jedi choosing to die in the same way Mace Windu did

    • @buddermonger2000
      @buddermonger2000 3 місяці тому +3

      Proposed that the clones were actually asked by the Jedi to kill them when Anakin broadcast it on all of their communicators

  • @Sandman10032
    @Sandman10032 3 місяці тому +32

    I’m not sure what’s more impressive, Padme’s ability to listen to Anakin’s thesis or Anakin’s knowledge of languages that don’t exist. So far this only extends to romantic/Germanic language however

  • @kabob0077
    @kabob0077 3 місяці тому +27

    1:11 I love the Kreiaian school of thought, it is nice to see Anakin does too.

  • @FlyingTooFast
    @FlyingTooFast 3 місяці тому +164

    Darth Lectures

  • @Blusterberry
    @Blusterberry 3 місяці тому +26

    Vader to younglings: "However, I submit that the use of dichotomy is not simply a deliberate narrative choices done by the unknown apprentice, with some minor additions by later authors, perhaps attempting to shift the purpose of the narrative in subsequent retellings, but rather an intrinsic part of the Sith identity that the legend was designed to communicate. The Sith being, by definition, defined by - "
    Obi-Wan: "I can't watch anymore."

    • @VestinVestin
      @VestinVestin 3 місяці тому +9

      Yoda: _"NOT to listen to the security recordings DID I NOT TELL YOU!?"_

    • @davidwuhrer6704
      @davidwuhrer6704 3 місяці тому +1

      ​@VestinVestin Yoda has something to hide.
      Besides his ketamine stash, I mean .

    • @hybridtheory7081
      @hybridtheory7081 3 місяці тому +2

      ​@@davidwuhrer6704And the used needles under his seat.

  • @fyraltari1889
    @fyraltari1889 3 місяці тому +38

    "A Kreiaian reading of the Prophecy" killed me.

    • @GZilla311
      @GZilla311 3 місяці тому +8

      It eventually killed her, too.

  • @arnavkaple3140
    @arnavkaple3140 3 місяці тому +61

    Can you make a video with Count Dooku and Mace Windu speaking to eachother on Geonosis and argue with each other in Attack of the Clones and make it hilarious how they interact? It would be really cool to see these iconic characters interact further.

    • @sealsaregood5146
      @sealsaregood5146  3 місяці тому +35

      I'll put it on the agenda

    • @buddermonger2000
      @buddermonger2000 3 місяці тому +2

      ​@sealsaregood5146 i think what would also be funny is for order 66 to be just Anakin going on the communicator and addressing all of the Jedi with his thesis, thus the clones kill the Jedi out of mercy explicitly requested.
      Anakin doesn't need Mustafar and is put in the suit to mask his identity after the galaxy is outraged at hearing his thesis.
      A drug induced coma and a lack of communicator spare Yoda and Obi-Wan respectively.

    • @arnavkaple3140
      @arnavkaple3140 3 місяці тому

      @@buddermonger2000 Most excellent idea ever. The creator should consider making it.

    • @arnavkaple3140
      @arnavkaple3140 3 місяці тому

      @@buddermonger2000 Also he will reach his full potential since he does not go to Mustafar. Mace says that you lose all your limbs if you go to Mustafar and when you say in your idea that Anakin doesn't go to Mustafar it means he reaches his full potential.

  • @agustingomez1575
    @agustingomez1575 3 місяці тому +50

    Darth Plagueis the Wiser. 😂

  • @marcogonzalez9673
    @marcogonzalez9673 3 місяці тому +22

    2:18 "yeah, I'm not gonna do that" was my favorite part

    • @davidbakke9293
      @davidbakke9293 3 місяці тому +2

      I always wondered how ROTS would’ve played out if Anakin hesitated to kill the Jedi, but then our image of Darth Vader being ruthless would make less sense

  • @shyguygaming5397
    @shyguygaming5397 3 місяці тому +8

    There were Jedi who were actually enamored and impressed with the scholarly and deep ideas Anakin expressed in his thesis. They became his acolytes and they agreed to study under him to satiate their curiosity and because of their curiosity, they called themselves “The Inquisitors.”

  • @Ili-v4z
    @Ili-v4z 3 місяці тому +29

    The real reason why Kreia was kicked out by both sith and jedi - her thesis on the Force

  • @buddermonger2000
    @buddermonger2000 3 місяці тому +25

    Anakin's thesis is simply broadcast around the whole galaxy to each Jedi and thus the clones are not responsible for order 66 as it was a direct request by each Jedi to avoid listening to it more. The reason Obi-Wan survives is due to not having a communicator, and Yoda being in a drug induced coma again, and thus unable to process it.
    Due to the public backlash, Anakin is titled "Darth Vader" to the galaxy and given his armor as a cover up.

    • @samueldimmock694
      @samueldimmock694 3 місяці тому +7

      The experience of hearing Anakin's thesis while in a drug-induced coma, while not enough to send Yoda out the window, was enough to make him permanently swear off all drugs. Once fully sober, he reveals the full measure of his Force power, perhaps the greatest the galaxy has ever known, and sets out to fulfill the responsibilities he abandoned long ago, starting by defeating Darth Sidious once and for all. Unfortunately, the centuries of heavy drug use have ravaged his body and mind, and he rapidly grows tired and loses the ability to focus. Driven into exile by the shame of his defeat, he retreats to a swamp planet, and after long years of exile, the loneliness and depression cause a relapse as he begins to consume strange herbs and mushrooms he finds in the swamp.

    • @seekerofalice9787
      @seekerofalice9787 2 місяці тому +1

      No, assuming Obi-Wan is similar to his 'thesis Anakin' legends version, he honed Anakin's skill in the art of scholarly and philosophical debate. The coming battle at Mustafar may well be a defense of Obi-Wans latest published article detailing how the rise of the Sith is incompatible with the prophecy of the Chosen One, only for Anakin to bring up his own paper on the subject and winning; thus leading to his subsequent injuries as Obi-Wan seeks to soothe the burn to his pride by giving Anakin a much more literal burn.

    • @buddermonger2000
      @buddermonger2000 2 місяці тому

      @@seekerofalice9787 a bold assumption

  • @LiberalismRules
    @LiberalismRules 3 місяці тому +74

    Notice how Anakins prediction came true, the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise is a tool for the apprentice to turn their own apprentice to the dark side. The apprentice here is using Anakins love for his thesis on the tragedy to turn him to the dark side

  • @michaeledmunds7056
    @michaeledmunds7056 3 місяці тому +8

    "Where is Padme?"
    "It seems, in your academic passion, your thesis killed her."

  • @theabarguy
    @theabarguy 3 місяці тому +48

    What if Anakin was smart: well, in that case Palpatine is even smarter! "Reading Thesis 3 times, back to back" is a stroke of genius.

  • @partyjams
    @partyjams 3 місяці тому +51

    you've heard of kill them with kindness. but never kill them with knowledge

  • @voryndagothDL
    @voryndagothDL 3 місяці тому +21

    "Tyranus- wait I used that one already" LMAO

  • @HasturBeta
    @HasturBeta 3 місяці тому +25

    The way you do those "WTF" moments of silence just kill me every time.

  • @hcook1023
    @hcook1023 3 місяці тому +19

    The rebellion starts from Darth Vader giving his thesis on a galaxy wide broadcast, then is gaslite by Palpatine into thinking the war is an disagreement between academic ideologies

  • @AtomicArtumas
    @AtomicArtumas 3 місяці тому +16

    Y'know, I kind of want this to end up backfiring on Palpatine. Where Anakin does actually somehow spawn a new generation of academics. And there's now thousands of people going around, accidentally causing people to commit suicide by reading them their thesis.

  • @samcarpenter7104
    @samcarpenter7104 3 місяці тому +50

    I just realized that you for shadowed the name "Darth Icky" all the way back in episode 4 of the series "Dooku Reveals All"

    • @ianmacdo
      @ianmacdo 3 місяці тому +8

      its from a real interview with george lucas, when the game designers asked him for some more darth names.

  • @aurenkleige
    @aurenkleige 3 місяці тому +41

    The Jedi are no match for Anakin's Thesis. This is going to be a bloodbath.

  • @Doge-rv3vd
    @Doge-rv3vd 3 місяці тому +10

    "Kreian school of thought" is underrated, I love the little details in this that flesh out the depraved world that Darth Academius inhabits

  • @hspderis6685
    @hspderis6685 3 місяці тому +26

    I knew Anakin would be DARTH THESIS 😂

  • @jerzyksudak945
    @jerzyksudak945 3 місяці тому +45

    Vader: "I find your lack of faith disturbing" ( Force choke)
    Admiral Motti: "Harder Daddy"
    Vader : "Wtf how the hell you know what my name means?"
    Admiral Motti : " Wait your name actualy means Daddy ? I said that in the heat of the moment."
    Vader: ...
    Admiral Motti:....
    Admiral Tarkin: " Dad. I mean Vader put him down so we could continue with our plan against rebels."

  • @lelouchvibritannia7809
    @lelouchvibritannia7809 3 місяці тому +37

    Now remake the Mustafar Battle
    But this time, both Obi Wan and Anakin are lecturing each other instead of just Obi Wan

  • @terrified057t4
    @terrified057t4 3 місяці тому +24

    now have yoda and obi wan return to coruscant only to find recordings of anakin explaining his thesis and defending against those who went insane 4 hours ago XD

  • @raynmanshorts9275
    @raynmanshorts9275 3 місяці тому +4

    "She has the thesis to my heart" is actually kind of beautiful.

  • @queenophiuca4999
    @queenophiuca4999 3 місяці тому +12

    This Palpatine is more clever than the original

  • @Gelph
    @Gelph 3 місяці тому +24

    “A kreiaian readin”. I love how many little jokes like this that most casual fans will not understand or even register as a joke he slips in.

    • @mustacheman529
      @mustacheman529 3 місяці тому

      What is it a reference to?

    • @Vladislav888
      @Vladislav888 3 місяці тому +5

      @@mustacheman529 Kreia from KotOR2

    • @mustacheman529
      @mustacheman529 3 місяці тому

      @@Vladislav888 Ah, thank you. I never played KOTOR2, since I couldn't get into KOTOR1.

  • @triplecatnip7413
    @triplecatnip7413 2 місяці тому +3

    Anakin bullying Sidious is hilarious

  • @lyricsghost2547
    @lyricsghost2547 3 місяці тому +13

    Can't wait for Luke to be a genius who wants to achieve his - allegedly - deceased father's academic prowess after hearing it from Obi-Wan. And for Leia to fall in love with Han just because, by following his irresponsible lifestyle, she can finally distance herself from a family full of insufferable learned people.

  • @jedinxf7
    @jedinxf7 3 місяці тому +9

    well frankly a Kreiaian reading of these prophecy is actually worth hearing, she's always fascinating

  • @shadowslayer205
    @shadowslayer205 3 місяці тому +10

    "The core thesis of the work is a Kreiaian reading..."
    The best part is someone did make an almost 2 hour thesis video on Kreia's philosophy.

    • @mewsiul
      @mewsiul 24 дні тому

      Give us the link! I, for one, would love to see it!

    • @shadowslayer205
      @shadowslayer205 24 дні тому

      @@mewsiul Search "The Philosophy of Darth Kreia" and it should be the first result.

    • @Vladislav888
      @Vladislav888 14 днів тому

      @@mewsiul ua-cam.com/video/-Z0S0Z8lUTg/v-deo.html

    • @Vladislav888
      @Vladislav888 14 днів тому

      @@mewsiul Search "The Philosophy of Kreia: A Critical Examination of Star Wars"

    • @darthnihilusthebestsith
      @darthnihilusthebestsith 5 днів тому

      Now you have the moral obligationto share such precious work with all of us

  • @waylander-su7og
    @waylander-su7og 3 місяці тому +8

    As the father of future schools of literary analysis through his thesis Darth Vader is an entirely appropriate title, kudos to Palpatine's naming sense.

  • @MI6-l4n
    @MI6-l4n 3 місяці тому +6

    "I've noticed I tell many great knee slappers..... but you have yet to laugh" nearly killed me

  • @akhilldhilipkumarkalaiyara1601
    @akhilldhilipkumarkalaiyara1601 Місяць тому +1

    its actually so wholesome that Padme actually listened to Anakains thesis

  • @Rahhelthethird
    @Rahhelthethird 3 місяці тому +22

    0:24 Whoa, gotten pretty close to plagiarism, Ani! They might’ve revoked your doctor title for that.

  • @matiasosella3867
    @matiasosella3867 3 місяці тому +11

    0:06 I love how you can see all the Darth names Palpatine is thinking of at the top right.

  • @CJusticeHappen21
    @CJusticeHappen21 3 місяці тому +6

    " I've noticed I tell many great knee slappers, but you have yet to laugh."
    Too relatable.

  • @gabrielcanejo187
    @gabrielcanejo187 3 місяці тому +14

    Darth Academius for Sure! That one Just Rocks!

  • @Stick-a-fork-in-Gmorks-tort
    @Stick-a-fork-in-Gmorks-tort 3 місяці тому +8

    Darth Pontificus The Methodological.

  • @josephtempleton
    @josephtempleton 3 місяці тому +8

    A “Kreiaian” reading of the prophecy got us KOTOR 2 fans

  • @Yng_Roshi
    @Yng_Roshi 3 місяці тому +23

    PADME HAS HEARD ANAKIN'S THESIS HUNDREDS OF TIMES!!?

    • @zperk13
      @zperk13 3 місяці тому +5

      IS SHE OK?!?!

    • @MCSPARTAN501
      @MCSPARTAN501 3 місяці тому +4

      Probably as a bedtime story

    • @solomonmatthews7921
      @solomonmatthews7921 3 місяці тому +5

      How do you think she lost the will to live?

    • @sahilbhosale5754
      @sahilbhosale5754 3 місяці тому +5

      @@solomonmatthews7921 inbefore she loses the will to leave cause she can no longer hear that thesis...

  • @traior246
    @traior246 29 днів тому +1

    "Well in fairness, you used lighting fingies."
    "They're most unnatural."

  • @redc7146
    @redc7146 3 місяці тому +10

    Darth Academius is a 100/10 title

  • @skoaldipper125
    @skoaldipper125 3 місяці тому +6

    Great now I want to hear Anakin’s take on the Chosen One prophecy!

  • @Talvos
    @Talvos 3 місяці тому +17

    oh wow- so the movie deaths for the younglings was actually censored from the true carnage of the thesis presentation

  • @elouenandril6671
    @elouenandril6671 3 місяці тому +6

    don't worry Darth Academius, i slapped MY knee!

  • @tahjkuemmerle
    @tahjkuemmerle 3 місяці тому +23

    1:40 "feeligns"

  • @CygnusLaboratorys2056
    @CygnusLaboratorys2056 3 місяці тому +7

    Anakin saying Darth Plagueis The *_Wiser_* as his sith name is crazy xD

  • @Ne1vaan
    @Ne1vaan 3 місяці тому +34

    Darth Academus goes extremely hard tbh and fits the characterization. Also would fit Palps figuring out how to weaponize Anakin by stroking his ego.

  • @bewilderbeestie
    @bewilderbeestie 3 місяці тому +19

    Palpatine really is evil. Killing the Jedi is one thing, but this --- this is just _wrong._

  • @CubemasterXD
    @CubemasterXD 3 місяці тому +13

    Order 66 was just him ordering all the windows and the clones strategically set them up near cliffs etc so the Jedi had windows to jump out of in face of Anakin's thesis (and interesting side tanget)
    it all makes sense

  • @ancapftw9113
    @ancapftw9113 3 місяці тому +2

    Obiwan looking at the hologram an hour later: "by the Force, why didn't he just cut them down with his lightsaber!"

  • @ianhammock4564
    @ianhammock4564 3 місяці тому +5

    2:45 "She has the Thesis to my heart" is a really sweet, if somewhat corny, thing to say.

    • @thiccchungo1041
      @thiccchungo1041 3 місяці тому

      Which makes it super interesting character

  • @ProjectDT88
    @ProjectDT88 3 місяці тому +7

    The Thesis is mightier than the Saber

  • @condor07uk
    @condor07uk 3 місяці тому +6

    no wonder Padme lost the "will to live" in the end, that explains it all

  • @JayTobas
    @JayTobas 3 місяці тому +13

    I was literally just binging this series

  • @laerbear6760
    @laerbear6760 3 місяці тому +4

    Palpatine turned into Sauron

  • @MrDj232
    @MrDj232 3 місяці тому +7

    Jedi are always throwing themselves out of windows.

  • @sagaswp
    @sagaswp 3 місяці тому +25

    A guy named Daddy choking women...you know something, that just might work!

  • @larspeterthomsen9798
    @larspeterthomsen9798 3 місяці тому +4

    4:12 "with Padme already calling me..."
    😂