The problem with this philosophy now is that many women expect it. In times past women did more to serve their husbands. It was more of a "happy spouse happy house" philosophy.
Isn't the husband serving the wife by making sure he's protecting her? Making sure he's providing for her financially among other things? That is the problem with our society too many women want the benefits of being a wife.. but don't want to give that same treatment back to the man..@@jscullyandmulderx25
Same tbh. I let too many women (I had a type -- 'unavailable') tell me I was 'needy' for wanting the relationship to go both ways, not just me there for them when they needed me, and them ignoring me when they felt like it. Finally talked to a few friends about it, and they all said, 'uh, those sound like reasonable things to ask for in a relationship'. Then I had a couple relationships afterwards that I broke off pretty early, because I wasn't used to women actually supporting me and showing they cared for me -- it felt so off that I thought there must be something wrong with them. Thankfully I got over that, too, and I'm starting to feel more comfortable with healthy relationships, both romantic and platonic.
I believe your channel is going to blow up real soon. Really good topics and well delivered. Thank you for putting this out there and sharing of your gift💪
When I was newlywed, I constantly heard different variations of this and it never quite made sense to me. I'm Mexican American and although I'm born and raised here in the US, it wasn't until I started dating my now American husband, that I started to see these relationship differences and ideas. One of the ideas being this saying. I don't recall ever hearing a Spanish equivalent of it. Since marriage, I've really been trying to learn more about the male experience to better understand what life looks like for my husband. With that said I feel out of place here lolol just sneaking around in this space haha
I told this to my ex and she told me it was a red flag for believing that mutual happiness within and without the relationship should matter. Needless to say again, she's now an ex.
Coming from a man that was married, and applied this saying to my day to day. I got divorced, lost my identity, and had to do a bunch of self development to not be a people pleaser. We are all beautiful and unique, men are suppose to be the leader of their home. I think adapting this mindset in your marriage or relationship, will only lead you down a road of less sex, no independence, and a life with zero boundaries. Just my opinion a woman loves a man’s masculine energy, and if you’re not providing that sooner or later another man will provide that energy that she’s missing. Heard it her first. 🤷🏻♂️
Great advice. I did most of the mistakes he talks about and it did lead to a dead marriage and then I started to rebel and he nearly ended the marriage but I held strong and fast and now it’s shifting in the direction of a good marriage but it’s painstakingly slow and really hard but I’m not giving up.
This is hilarious and true. I’ve thought that if you wanted to truly make a woman happy you’d have to make the relational equivalent of a Hadron Collider.
I as a woman disagree with the quote.. not every woman is created equally. Some women make a lifestyle out of behaving entitled and running all over the place with this quote.
Relationships are hard. You can't make someone else happy. You can only try. And if you try your best and she doesn't appreciate your efforts, you know where you stand. My motto: No wife, no strife! 😊
The concept of putting us on a pedestal with us looking down on them really hit home. Also the man having a vision of what a relationship looks like - OMG my husband should watch this with me. ANd now 29 years later he blames me for not following his visions/ dreams. Is it too late to revisit our goals and plans??
I could be wrong, but it sounds like you became aware of this before him, but you liked being on the pedestal for 29 years so much that you didn't say anything.
Every adult is responsible for their own happiness. Regarding what I want from the relationahip with my wife: peace and quiet. I don’t need much, is that wrong?
U can’t make a woman happy. Just think of the carrot on a stick dangling in front of the horse. It’s designed to keep u constantly working towards that carrot (happiness).
I'm caught in a loop with my wife where I screwed up and now feel endlessly guilty and I'm struggling to find clarity, my needs separate from her's or ours. Do you have any men's groups starting soon? My men's group fell apart during covid and I'm looking for support.
Hey Matt, thanks for the comment. You can join the ManTalks Alliiance. We have hundreds of men from around the world, weekly community calls, and you get your own small team that meets up weekly. Plus, I bring in special guest resources on various topics like sex, money, relationships, business, etc. We are opening the doors again in a week or two. Check it out: mantalks.com/alliance/
lol, there are some females that you can never make happy because they are /////////// in the head so do what makes you happy and go with that, if she does not reciprocate with equal feelings then time to leave or live with what you got and find you happiness elsewhere, when i was with my ex i spent more time away from home than at home because there was no reason for me to be with her other than sex, once that stopped and the situation was right i said bye and left, nothing worse than being with someone and feeling alone, better to be alone and not have the drama, at my age now, my next female will just be a room mate and that will be the understanding right from the start because i want the female energy and perspective around me but without the so called relationship obligations that deprive you of being who you are. trying to find happiness making a female happy is a fffffffffffff joke, also, if they are not doing things for you to make you feel wanted then its a waste of time even being with them, took me toooooooo long to figure that one out and it only hurt me not her.
Women thrive on emotions and love drama. Perpetually change your look and don’t be boring. Keep your options open. Learn to say “No!” Be a man. That’s what they crave.
When I was first married I said to my then husband, If you love someone you put their needs equal to or above your own. I learned this from a college Professor, who was in his 80’s and had been happily married for 60 ish years. My husband scoffed at my opinion. 39 years later I divorced him. Too late for me but others may learn from my experience. Open communication and respect for your partner, I still think that Professor was spot on.
It's true though. You can't have a normal relationship without woman demanding to be treated like that. They get into relationships looking down on you.
The problem with this philosophy now is that many women expect it. In times past women did more to serve their husbands. It was more of a "happy spouse happy house" philosophy.
To serve there husband's.? Really.
@@jscullyandmulderx25 why not? Shouldn't spouses serve one another?
Isn't the husband serving the wife by making sure he's protecting her? Making sure he's providing for her financially among other things? That is the problem with our society too many women want the benefits of being a wife.. but don't want to give that same treatment back to the man..@@jscullyandmulderx25
I used to focus so hard on not being 'needy', I disregarded all my needs.
When I realised these were different things, it was profound.
Well said. Powerful share. I know that the other men who read this will gain a lot from it.
Same tbh. I let too many women (I had a type -- 'unavailable') tell me I was 'needy' for wanting the relationship to go both ways, not just me there for them when they needed me, and them ignoring me when they felt like it. Finally talked to a few friends about it, and they all said, 'uh, those sound like reasonable things to ask for in a relationship'. Then I had a couple relationships afterwards that I broke off pretty early, because I wasn't used to women actually supporting me and showing they cared for me -- it felt so off that I thought there must be something wrong with them. Thankfully I got over that, too, and I'm starting to feel more comfortable with healthy relationships, both romantic and platonic.
We are not responsible for her happiness!!!!!!
Hi Thunder, you are absolutely correct.
None of us are responisble for other adults happiness.
@@rpersen right you are! I was blamed for her unhappiness hence why she left.
For unclear reasons, I have always intrinsically rejected this concept. However, I was never able to apply this rejection in practice.
I believe your channel is going to blow up real soon. Really good topics and well delivered. Thank you for putting this out there and sharing of your gift💪
When I was newlywed, I constantly heard different variations of this and it never quite made sense to me. I'm Mexican American and although I'm born and raised here in the US, it wasn't until I started dating my now American husband, that I started to see these relationship differences and ideas. One of the ideas being this saying. I don't recall ever hearing a Spanish equivalent of it.
Since marriage, I've really been trying to learn more about the male experience to better understand what life looks like for my husband.
With that said I feel out of place here lolol just sneaking around in this space haha
I always flip this on them and correct it to "Happy spouse, happy house" which means both people need to work to keep each other happy.
I told this to my ex and she told me it was a red flag for believing that mutual happiness within and without the relationship should matter. Needless to say again, she's now an ex.
@@kryogenica4759 the fact that she said that is a red flag. The irony…
Coming from a man that was married, and applied this saying to my day to day. I got divorced, lost my identity, and had to do a bunch of self development to not be a people pleaser. We are all beautiful and unique, men are suppose to be the leader of their home. I think adapting this mindset in your marriage or relationship, will only lead you down a road of less sex, no independence, and a life with zero boundaries. Just my opinion a woman loves a man’s masculine energy, and if you’re not providing that sooner or later another man will provide that energy that she’s missing. Heard it her first. 🤷🏻♂️
"Happy Wife Happpy Life", is not a saying or a motto. It's an Ultimatum...
Being responsible for someone else's happeniness is absurd. Every man pays for 5ex.
"Getting your needs met" can lead to an abuse accusation.
Women know that when they get married they have the Church and the State on their side.
Happy wife Crappy life. Get a side chic. Happy side Happy ride
Only works or true if she is happy in herself; without external influence.
Great advice. I did most of the mistakes he talks about and it did lead to a dead marriage and then I started to rebel and he nearly ended the marriage but I held strong and fast and now it’s shifting in the direction of a good marriage but it’s painstakingly slow and really hard but I’m not giving up.
I always say: "Happy wife, stagnant life!"
Happy wife, happy lie😂😂😂😂
I'm glad I had this drilled into me very early.
No man can make his wife happy, that's on her!
Great video and thanks!
Happy wife is like cold fusion.
This is hilarious and true. I’ve thought that if you wanted to truly make a woman happy you’d have to make the relational equivalent of a Hadron Collider.
I as a woman disagree with the quote.. not every woman is created equally. Some women make a lifestyle out of behaving entitled and running all over the place with this quote.
Relationships are hard. You can't make someone else happy. You can only try. And if you try your best and she doesn't appreciate your efforts, you know where you stand.
My motto: No wife, no strife! 😊
Happy couple happy life😁
The concept of putting us on a pedestal with us looking down on them really hit home.
Also the man having a vision of what a relationship looks like - OMG my husband should watch
this with me. ANd now 29 years later he blames me for not following his visions/ dreams. Is
it too late to revisit our goals and plans??
I could be wrong, but it sounds like you became aware of this before him, but you liked being on the pedestal for 29 years so much that you didn't say anything.
Every adult is responsible for their own happiness. Regarding what I want from the relationahip with my wife: peace and quiet. I don’t need much, is that wrong?
U can’t make a woman happy. Just think of the carrot on a stick dangling in front of the horse. It’s designed to keep u constantly working towards that carrot (happiness).
I'm caught in a loop with my wife where I screwed up and now feel endlessly guilty and I'm struggling to find clarity, my needs separate from her's or ours. Do you have any men's groups starting soon? My men's group fell apart during covid and I'm looking for support.
Hey Matt, thanks for the comment. You can join the ManTalks Alliiance. We have hundreds of men from around the world, weekly community calls, and you get your own small team that meets up weekly. Plus, I bring in special guest resources on various topics like sex, money, relationships, business, etc. We are opening the doors again in a week or two. Check it out: mantalks.com/alliance/
How did you screw up?
@@giafach He got married lol
I feel sorry for married men.
Please pray for us bro
lol, there are some females that you can never make happy because they are /////////// in the head so do what makes you happy and go with that, if she does not reciprocate with equal feelings then time to leave or live with what you got and find you happiness elsewhere, when i was with my ex i spent more time away from home than at home because there was no reason for me to be with her other than sex, once that stopped and the situation was right i said bye and left, nothing worse than being with someone and feeling alone, better to be alone and not have the drama, at my age now, my next female will just be a room mate and that will be the understanding right from the start because i want the female energy and perspective around me but without the so called relationship obligations that deprive you of being who you are.
trying to find happiness making a female happy is a fffffffffffff joke, also, if they are not doing things for you to make you feel wanted then its a waste of time even being with them, took me toooooooo long to figure that one out and it only hurt me not her.
Only weak men say happy wife happy life. What makes me happy is my money.
I reserve it to happy life, happy wife. If you are happy, then that will flow over into the relationship.
I just want my dog.
Happy Spouce, Happy House.
It is a disaster for a happy man to meet an unhappy woman who will make him miserable.
Both my marriages were as you speak, struck a nerve, both ended in divorce.72 yrs old, had enough.
The evangelical church is exceptionally bad at pitching this model of marriage
NO SPOUSE, HAPPY HOUSE!
See Proverbs 21:19.
Bingo. So true.
Happy life is the lie
Women thrive on emotions and love drama. Perpetually change your look and don’t be boring. Keep your options open. Learn to say “No!” Be a man. That’s what they crave.
Happy wife, happy life....
For your wife. You just misinterpreted the quote.
When I was first married I said to my then husband, If you love someone you put their needs equal to or above your own. I learned this from a college Professor, who was in his 80’s and had been happily married for 60 ish years. My husband scoffed at my opinion. 39 years later I divorced him. Too late for me but others may learn from my experience. Open communication and respect for your partner, I still think that Professor was spot on.
This is what mothers do...🤣🤣🤣
It's true though. You can't have a normal relationship without woman demanding to be treated like that. They get into relationships looking down on you.