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Well I thought what the heck. Every time I’ve taken test = INFJ but I thought let me try this one maybe I won’t be this time, it’s from Frank let’s see…yep. INFJ again. Acceptance is the answer😂
Timestamps! ✨ 2:52 ESFP and ESTP 4:25 ISTJ and ISFJ 5:25 ENTJ and ESTJ 6:57 ISTP and INTP 8:37 ENFJ and ESFJ 10:10 ISFP and INFP 11:47 ENTP and ENFP 13:31 INTJ and INFJ
When you're a stressed INTP with an assignment due in a few hours but you still feel the need for it to be grammatically correct, factually sound, well researched, and somehow 3 pages more than the page requirement.
The worst thing when INFPs are stressed is to postpone every problem for later and not to deal with it in real time. It creates a huge amount of problems to solve later and a big stress that the things aren't done. We love to sabotege ourselves, aren't we? 😆
@@J-Stediford06 no, I don't think that's typical for an INFP, because they're not attached to material goods,so they're good with staying on a budget. They can manage living with nearly nothing. It's more about chores when it comes to INFPs. Or to answering letters, going to job interviews, applying for something on time, stuff like that.
@@J-Stediford06 lol I don't know about MASSIVE debt but I'll grant that my credit report is a TJ's nightmare. Working on sorting that out.... very slowly. Not a type of problem I personally lose sleep over.
I’m an INFJ that’s been stressed lately and I decide to spend Sunday getting my life back in order by taking care of all the tasks that piled up. I felt attacked when he mentioned we let everyday tasks pile up because I’m currently folding laundry Ive needed to do for 3 weeks 😂 and responding to all the friends I ignored. 😅
I have three different assignments given to me one or two weeks ago for school that I need to finish by Monday (I have not started.) So I totally agree lol
@@strawbsh0rtcak3 :/ do it now? Trust me when you get started once doing assignment, it'll become interesting and interesting. If you have 1 assignments for 1 week (6 days and take 1 day break) then do 1/3 per day. Try organizing too.
As an INFJ, I can totally agree, I was going through a lot of stress and I was just "escaping" reality and trying to get back in control. It was a cycle of planning, doing and not doing what I was supposed to do.
Exactly! And right now my current stressor is figuring my EXACT career/education goals (aka, which bachelor's will be best for my masters, which masters will be best for which licensing/job, if I should get my PhD or not- which school is best for my bachelors/masters- and all of that planning so far in advanced is helpful to an extent, but it is causing unnecessary stress when i should keep my main focus on one goal at a time. It's been making me put off schooling in general. But then I definitely notice I lack doing my chores, and just regular tasks at work like catching up on my email and turning in monthly work. The hands on things just become more draining for me.
As an INFP this sounds very familiar. Especially the part about not being able to do anything because you feel overwhelmed. The smallest things realy become obstacles. Thanks for putting it into words so clearly
Yes, I struggle with this too, especially when I feel overwhelmed at work. I need to keep reminding myself to actually think and do things step by step and slowly everything will make sense even though it feels wrong. Most of the time it just feels wrong, but then when I actually get through the majority of the task, I find myself realising, no actually this part here validates/confirms what I was originally worried that I would get wrong/result in bad consequences (aka I was right all along but just could not see it). It's just getting started and persevering are the hardest things to do when I'm stressed. Even sending an email feels like too much because I'm worried that someone might incorrectly interpret my email and get mad at me, even though that's very unlikely to happen. I end up wasting soooo much time stressing about simple tasks when my mind is overwhelmed. I usually try to explain what I'm trying to do and my logic/reasoning to someone else to make sure that I stay on track and give myself some reassurance.
As an INFP with 4 kids (very close in age) I’ve found myself forced to rely more often on my inferior TE and it has been very rewarding. When I feel overwhelmed now (still happens easily), I’ve trained myself to just get something -anything- done. It jump starts me out of overwhelm. Maybe you can give it a try too!
Yup. As an infp as well, if I’m under too much stress, I get overwhelmed and shut down. I’m physically unable to focus or function correctly, and everything makes me cry 🥲
As an INFP, this was spot on. I always isolate myself when I'm stressed, first to think and see how I feel and then (maybe) talk to others about it! hahah Thanks Frank!
The last month has been extremely stressful to me and I've found myself shutting down during that. Definitely helps to just go and spend time with others just to get out of your own head for a bit.
@@Clarisonic2 Spot on for me. I have to feel like I can trust someone to impart advice without judging me for how I process situations, before going to them for advice. Otherwise, it's me and my intuition, man. 😅
As an INTJ, you were so accurate that you made me cry. I didn't realise how much my real life has been messed up; I only spend time studying for high school. I quit my hobbies, stopped interacting with family, ignored friends; basically a mess. I will try to improve. Edit: Guys, I'm fine. It will take some time, but I'm sure I will be back on track. Thank you for your kind words 😊 Edit 2: I found some solutions, and I think they are working. I find it easier to sleep day by day. Edit 3: College Update. I ended up not getting into my dream university (IIT Delhi), but instead ended up in my dad's dream university (BITS Pilani), when he was my age! I am pursuing the degree I had always aimed for, and have a fresh outlook in life. I am socializing (a thing hard for me), restarting my hobbies, and trying out new ones! Have re-engaged contacts with friends in last couple of months, and overall my family too is more lively after the end of my high-school phase. Spent the entire last month just chilling with family and friends.
(ENTP) When I learned my weak-point I started actively training myself to spot S types. A few friends here and there. I pick them first when I am selecting teams. XSXJs are a bit of a God-Send to me. Given how our two types are both Ns you may try the exact same.
I wish you the best of luck in this, I know school is important, but it's good to step back and just chill for a minute and to do things that make you happy rather than focusing in on one thing, I really don't understand Ni at all so that might not be easy for you as it is for others, but either way I hope you find a good balance and can happier healthier future
INTJ-Same here...my life fell apart from stress several years ago and hasn't been the same since. Still trying to have some happiness and joy, but...it's fleeting. Depression is my life now. I tried to get out of it by spending time with my family, but you know how it is... You can be around people and still feel alone. I isolate myself when I get tired of interacting...feeling alone eventually yet again. It's always one or the other...no happy medium. Just don't have any answers for life anymore seems like.
@@joshpatrick8809 I'm really sorry you're going through that, and I hope things get better for you You said you went through a stressful time, did you ever talk to anyone about that? I understand that it's hard to talk about stuff, but I heard it can help, and talking things through doesn't make you weak or anything, but I get that maybe that other ppl won't understand and a lot of the time they don't Another thing is, how has your diet and sleep? It probably won't solve everything, but your diet and how many calories you consume can have a huge affect on your mood and mental well being Do you know why you feel alone?
Spot on for me as an INFJ... I overplan as a comfort mechanism, trying to feel comforted by knowing the future is secured for me. It's my first year of university, so I'm stressed about school and money. I plan for the future, but not for the present moment. It's a burden and a gift. Future looks promising but the present moment is a mess lmao
as an ENFP this is very accurate there were so many times where I failed a semester in collage because I was under stress and ended up learning about billion other topics, binging ted talks and random theories and starting creative projects, coming up with genius theories and ideas instead of doing what needs to be done, then I use " actually im an independent learner and uni is just restricting my creativity" as an excuse
I'm an INFJ with this same habit. When I was in college I struggled to stay on task because there were so many interesting things to study, other than the assignment.
As an ENFP who is currently on stress leave right now...this is spot on! My brain is all over the place and instead of actually doing the things I want to do (like baking), I'm looking up piping tips that I don't have and it's been 3 hours and I haven't done a thing...sigh...
Well, good luck! I'm also an ENFP and just baked brownies; even though they're not the best, they're food! Just do it if you want to! We all need to stop overthinking sometimes.
ENTP here. When I’m under stress I either disappear to try to rework my life in my mind until I finally just pray over the whole mess or get very upset at everyone I perceive to be causing the stress until I finally just pray over the whole mess.
My husband (ENFP) does things like this too. He spends hours researching things that aren't relevant or realistic for the situation at hand. If we need to plan an upcoming trip to somewhere a few hours away, he'll instead plan a hypothetical trip to a foreign country (which we could never possibly afford to visit), down to where he'd like to stay and which restaurants he'd like to try. I'm an ISTJ, so it is baffling and infinitely frustrating to me, but now I understand better.
@@benoni83 To tell you the truth, I would have to say both yes and no, it matters when we have something to work on in it but doesn't when we don't. As an INTJ yourself and a fellow Ni dom, I am sure you already know that.
You make some really good points about the INTJ, INFJ personalities. I've recently committed to overthinking less. Practicing stoicism has helped. Overthinking used to rule my life, it made nothing better and I did not like the person I was. So I just stopped- as much as one can. And instead I'm choosing to have faith in my talent and intuition to get me through tough situations in the moment, rather than thinking them- and myself- to death.
I just realized I do this A LOT (INTJ). I tend to detach myself when under pressure, I ignore everyone and everything around me; someone could be yelling at me and I wouldn’t hear them. It’s not a nice feeling, let me tell you, it feels like I’m no longer in control of my body, like it’s moving on its own or like it’s in autopilot
This is so helpful!! I'm an INTJ, and I just moved into a new state. I have no friends, no job, NO CAR. "Stressed" ain't even the word right now. But I've been saying to myself: "This problem is just like any other problem that I've solved. It's no biggie." But I totally feel unmotivated to do anything. Te is dead, and Se, she wants cake, pie, and chocolate. At least now I see why I feel/think the way I do and can take practical steps moving forward. Thx FJ.
INTP here. You nailed it. And of course, because we can't make perfection on a deadline we end up procrastinating and pretending the problem doesn't exist. And then we realize that it's really too late to reach perfection, but a rushed job is better than nothing. So a flurry of activity and we end up turning in something that is actually decent, somehow. Usually. Maybe? Sometimes really good. Or nothing. Because anything is too hard at this point. 44 minutes left...
My mind jumps to "Of course there is too much noise, cant see details, cant see time, what immediate sense of feeling are you using to judge me. Will people see me stand here "doing nothing, being lazy" or will every detail clear the moment and every neuron needed to fire to get it right the first time. Lets find out shall we!"
As an Intj I just ignore whatever is stressing me out and just start organizing my plans. Well maybe my life is crashing rn but I have a plan to follow for the next 20 years.
Mmhm. In theory I should be able to ignore whatever complicated emotions I'm feeling in order to more efficiently get stuff done but then because I am ignoring all my complicated emotions I lose the ability to function.
@@Tagtot In theory, but there is another outcome. When I was a child, I had a short fuse. My temper would control me. Now, my temper can explode, and I can function reasonably while still being enraged. Emotions are not a weakness. They can, at times, be a disadvantage but they can also be a massive advantage. The secret you CAN get to the point to where they don't control you. Being able to suppress your emotions is not always the healthy pick. There ARE times... when you do need to, but it is a balance. Sometimes you need to feel them and work through them. For example, a nurse sees a child in pain. She feels sympathy and WANTS to make him better. That is a benefit. Now if she loses it to her sympathy, she is unproductive, but we still want to feel connected. That same thing that could hurt her productivity can also be the thing that makes her the best at her job. On the other hand... no kid wants to get a shot. And yet, look what happened to children during the last Polo outbreak. At that point she needs to suppress the feelings and do something she knows will hurt him to avoid something far worse for him. Those complicated emotions can become your strength if you can learn to use them in a healthy way, and sometimes yes... you need to suppress them, but do not rush for the later.
Im an INFJ, and I've noticed that the Ni/Se comes into play in an interesting way when I'm stressed. I'll try to figure out ways forward constantly, and I might not be able to deal with other people as well - that's very true - but at the same time, I'll often overindulge in sensory things, maybe as a way to find some semblance control. So I'll buy a bunch of ice cream, or listen to loud music, just to sort of "drown out" the stress, because if I can't do anything about it, it's out of my control, and I want to control at least _Something_ so Junk Food it is!
(ENTP) If I get too stressed my brain will skip right past my "TI" and go straight into my "FE" translating to the same emotion every single time. Rage. I find rage to be strangely soothing for stress because at that point I don't have my normal distractions. No need to "find" motivation. It is much better now that I am older and can control my temper. I totally get the part where he explained my brain gets more "random" though. It makes me wonder how our brains cycle through the cognitive functions when it is overwhelmed. I think the fact I don't eat too much or other sensory activities comes from my SI function instead of your type's SE function.
I need something to chew on immediately after a lot of stress. And loud, fast bass music in headphones (important) is very relaxing, I immediately concentrate and can solve problems quickly and productively. You can also release Fe-demon and yell at the source of stress (this wastes my resource, I do not do this, although it is bad, because the person does not understand that he did shit, because I leave him and everything looks ..normal Istp
Yeah, food, watch shows that make me feel good, dancing with loud music, also cleaning like my life depended on it... really, all the SE activities that make me feel in control. I literally have the thought, "I know I shouldn't eat this (unhealthy) thing, but I am my own master!". All while trying not to think.
For the introverted intuition types, (I’m an INTJ) our strategy, if we come up with one in a timely manner, ends up working pretty well when everyone else is freaking out. On some occasions, I have been able to literally detach from emotion and concern while I come up with a decent solution… only for all of the stress to come slamming back into me once everything is over. Can any INTJ’s or INFJ’s relate?
As an ISTP, I do not immediately realize that I am under stress. Then emotions come and I don’t understand where they come from, it kind of accumulates and explodes. Or like a delayed wave. After I found out that I was an ISTP, I understood what was going on. My advice: pay close attention to your emotional health, no need to save, no need to protect other people, basically 98% of people are complete crap who cannot be held responsible for their words and actions (sorry lol). Therefore ...... do not waste time on them, do not protect, beware of manipulators (bad infj, for example), the most productive state is relaxed concentration (in the flow).
As an INTP, I can totally relate. Also, there's no need to apologize for simply stating the truth. Although, I wouldn't say they're *complete* crap. Maybe just 90% crap lol
I’m an ENFJ and I just started laughing so hard when it got to the part where you mentioned making everyone else stressed! Even when I don’t mean to sometimes, I know I’m just projecting my feelings of stress onto others and it’s funny how you so accurately pointed that out! 😂 Great job Frank and love your vids!
Agreed, as an ENFJ, when the people around me are stressed I’d do everything I can to help and even feel stressed myself so you best bet I’m hoping for the same energy.
Im ENFJ too and yeh. I will immediately press my friends when theyre stressed and wont stop until theyre ok so i expect them to do the same thing for me. But when they ask me whats wrong ill say im ok and theyll just leave me be.
My daughter is ENFJ & I am INFJ- I was literally thinking last night why are we oil & water, why does she put me in a state of constant panic, as she has just pulled me into stress that day putting me into a loop & I get stuck and can’t pull out of it then as I am thinking about it she brings up some random symptom that she googled saying it is either this life threatening genetic disease or diabetes & we have to go to ER. Sending into even more stress🥺
You're absolutely right I'm an INFJ but when I'm stressed especially when approaching exam season things fall apart I don't even bother keeping my space all that neat as I usually do and heck I go offline and have to remind myself to keep contact with my family.
I'm an INFJ and I've been working in a government office for almost 3 years now. I know the work is very repetitive, I don't even like desk jobs. Pay is somewhat good but I'm not really happy just sitting there. My anxiety got worse when my girlfriend told me that I should try taking risks putting up a business rather than staying in my job lol. I get her, but it's really not that easy when you're living in a 3rd world country. When I was in college, I really wanted to take psychology or any courses in the medical field but my parents forced me to get engineering (my dad's an engineer). Just 2 years in, I shifted to another course. I told them I'm not happy and I wanted to pursue psychology. My mom told me "well that's good but you'll have a hard time looking for jobs when you graduate. Why don't you try accounting". So I did. I did it because a lot of times that I tried to give my opinion on just about anything, she would attack me personally saying stuff like "oh you think you know better if you trust your intuition more than my advice based on my experiences now, do you. Let's see if you can handle it in the real world." Sorry for the rant. It's barely a quarter of all problems that I bottled up inside but somehow it feels good letting it out. Like what Butcher says to Hughie in The Boys, my whole life is a compromise 🥲
ENTP here, Frank you were spot on with the Ne dom types. When I am under extreme stress the first things to "go" are: my daily routines like sleep and eating schedules, keeping my room clean, self care (beyond the most like bare minimum hygiene), forgetting to pay bills on time, etc. It's not so much that I'm consciously like, "f*** my credit card bills and skincare routine!" but more that those things feel SO overwhelming when I have "bigger fish to fry," ie whatever problem(s) I'm dealing with. And the thought of approaching them feels Herculean, even though logically I know they are not that difficult, so I get in this toxic cycle of avoidance. Through discipline + self-work, I've been able to incorporate healthy routine into my life, which is something I'm proud of and know is really is good for me. BUT under stress...it's like all my progress goes out the window and I'm back at square 1!
Wow, as an INTJ, this was spot on. When I am stressed, i just focus on work and everything else around me gets forgotten. Wasn't expectong that to be so accurate.
INTJ here. You 💯% nailed it. I’m in my fifties and although was able to handle stressors easily when younger, with age, you end up with more obligations and more serious stress (and also single now so no partner to help out or motivate me). For the first time I’m dealing with the repercussions of this right now as I methodically work through organizing and cleaning my chaotic mess of a home that I’ve been ignoring for months. Proud to say I’ve been doing pretty good, taking baby steps every day (had to put up a calendar to mark off the days to keep me focused on it).
As an INFP when I'm stressed or anxious things that I do everyday really becomes an obligation in such a way that I just ignore and go do anything to process or minimize my strong feelings and then do my stuff... The only problem it's when my tasks accumalate and I can't put off any further XD Great video FJ, accurate as always! (If my explanation aren't clear by any mistakes, please feel free to correct me. I'm learning english and I need to improve my vocabulary. Ty
Your explanation was very clear! I'm also an INFP and totally related to everything you said! Your English is great, I didn't even notice mistakes until you mentioned you were learning. And they're tiny, so don't stress about it! You spell things a lot better than many native English speakers! 😂 Have a nice day!
As an infp as well, I relate very much. Once the tasks accumulate to the point where you have to do something about it, it usually takes a few mental breakdowns to get through it lol
As an autistic INFJ, this happens a lot. I try to solve this one small problem or do this one task but I use all my energy and time just for that and everything else that's actually important too spirals out of control because the whole focus is on one thing and nothing else. Happens to me even with eating, writing a simple note down or looking something up. I need to prepare for it, make sure I have everything ready and haven't forgotten anything, check several times just to be sure and then do the thing after going through all the possible options in my mind many many times and afterwards I need to recharge and then the next thing pops up.
@Lunits I'm also still going through the diagnosis assessment and hope I'll get the diagnosis soon...Good luck with yours! /gen I mean I got a longletter from my therapist where she says she thinks I'm autistic and explains it a bit more why she thinks so, so in case I won't get a "professional" diagnosis I can still at least show someone that if it's important. Because self diagnosis is obviously valid if you've done your research and all, but a lot of people wouldn't believe it. I mean even with an official diagnosis it's difficult...but the most important thing is that we know that it's true, so we can get to know ourselves better and learn that there's some things we can work on and that others will always be difficult, no matter how much we try, like the stress thing. Sure I could try to widen the focus on two things and get those done, but I'd still not be able to focus on anything else and maybe need more breaks and now I think I'm starting to get too deep into it and if I won't stop writing now I'll probably never stop. I have no idea if this still makes any sense...
I’m an infj and possibly autistic? I have to have everything organized at times before I can relieve the stress. My problem solving skills kick in when I’m relieving other peoples stress. My personal stress is on the floor of my messy bedroom which I d just as soon ignore and help others or sort rocks
I am an INFJ and while it is true, that I tend to build a whole ideal world system around my problems, like writing to-do lists, making weekly and monthly plans, integrating productivity hacks galore and useless stuff like that instead of doing anything, I also ESTP it, and start to do the most random stuff, like laundry, sorting through my closet, selling the sorted stuff online and then cleaning my doors and windowframes... very productive, very much ignoring the real problem. What I literally never do when stressed out is let others know about it. If all I could talk about how much I hate my life right now, I don't pick up the phone.
As an INFJ I tuned in and out whilst you were talking about INFJ’s because I was thinking about the times the things you said had happened to me, then I was laughing, then I was thinking about your scenario and how you probably don’t know who you are because you’ve been embodying all of our personalities…and then I was thinking how you would handle that stressing situation or thought? Loool Yh i know it’s a lot! And it all happened the course of your talk about INFJ’s
INTJ here and you nailed that. When I’m not stressed, my physical world runs like a well-oiled machine. But when I get really stressed, it gets more and more chaotic and I’ll freeze up and retreat into planning mode. I know this about myself though so will force myself to do at least ONE thing in the physical each day, even if just a little thing like washing 2 dishes. Once I get some momentum I feel better and can begin to recover. But man it’s like dragging myself through molasses to do anything at all when things get too far out of control.
As an INFP growing up in a very stressful, unhealthy family, there was kind of an endless cycle of needing to escape/withdraw/tend to my feelings, neglecting Te stuff, causing problems for my family because of that, their hostility and pressures toward me increasing as a result, me getting more stressed, repeat. Having a low-stress life now, and having my major Fi stuff relatively sorted out by this point, I don't have the need to spend such a disproportionate amount of time and energy tending to Fi, so it is easier to be more balanced and productive.
I'm an INFJ and my best friend is an INTJ. We deal with problems and things almost the same. The only major difference between us I think is he is more comfortable speaking up or letting people know what's on his mind. He can also easily call out people and point out things that need to be changed or improve. When we talk, we usually agree on everything haha. The only difference is I find it hard to share it to others unless I'm sure that they also agree or that they will not be hurt in any way. When my best friend is stressed, he would usually lock himself in his room (we lived together when we were still in uni). I also do the same. We would watch series together and just talk or eat. He is now in Malta and I miss him every day. Such a rare thing to find a friend like that. Someone who understands me and I understand as well. I also noticed that I get along with INTJ and INTP. Maybe because they help me understand my thoughts better and affirm my opinions about thinhs. ☺️
INFJ was too accurate 😅😂 love that you mentioned ''very organised but it's in this abstract realm'' lol, it feels appropriate that a video about handling stress would come out on my birthday 😂 this last week has been ridiculous in places lol ...I've been relying on my systems a lot 🙈
As an INFJ, my number one method for dealing with stress is to literally dive into an RPG for days, only coming out to take care of the bare basics like food, water, bathroom, and work. Whole time I'm doing it, the back of my mind is trying to process and come up with how to "make it fit." I feel called out, Frank.
As an ISTP, I have to admit that I’m insufferable when I’m stressed. I get overly annoyed with everything people do and I feel a physiological need to LET THEM KNOW IT. I start being a hater for literally no reason, just straight up wake up and choose violence. I create conflict compulsively and end up hurting everyone around me. I only realize how mean and unreasonable I was being after isolating myself for sometime.
That sounds like my father. He's usually very calm but when stressed he'd suddenly get pissed at every single small thing. He'd yell and be very unreasonable. I withdraw from him and give him some alone time. When he's calm and has sorted out his problems, he comes to me to apologize and cuddles me :D To compensate for what he did, he becomes more affectionate than usual. I'm an INFJ. When I'm stressed... I'm the most annoying person in the world for sensors (both of my parents are sensors so I feel bad for them XD). During that time, I'm ALWAYS in my head to the point I neglect my studies,chores, taking care of my health, family and overindulge in sensory things (such as junk food, loud music and dance). I overthink (and think that I'm making progress) and ignore acting on that problem. It annoys me too. I get out of this state when I finally act on the problem that's stressing me out.
istp- yes i definitely understand, its rlly scary that this happens to me often, like i would hurt my mom or ppl i love w my words without even realizing it, and only after some time i realize what i've done, it happens alot that now im scared to apologize cuz ik ill do it again, its hard but im trying my best, hopefully ill get better at this asap
@Sora Uzumaki The fact that you're (1) acknowledging your behavior, and (2) feel remorse is a good sign. ISTPs are highly efficient people. So I have no doubt that you'll self-correct and improve. But you'll need to humble yourself and apologize. Admit to the ppl you've hurt that you're working on this flaw and are grateful for their patience. Even ask them what you could have done better. YOU GOT THIS.--INTJ
As an INFP I totally agree, I feel overwhelmed in stress situations and I cant have To do lists, because it makes me anxious all the time. Amazing video
There is a solution Have a open and closed to do list The open one are things you should do but aren't as important and you'll never be able to finish the open list The closed one are things you have to do and make it as small as possible
I tested ISFP on 16personalities but INTJ on Cloverleaf, and was confused as to why this could be. But I think Frank just nailed why I could be an INTJ at the end of the video, as well as pointing out a serious weakness I think will actually help me a lot. Amazing, thank you
As an INTJ, I created an excellent list of places to do internships, wrote great application letters for all of them, and I missed the deadlines while doing all this lol
As an Intp, I don't see myself at all in what he said. I'm actually doing the opposite. When I'm stressed, I doubt everything and I'm really easy to convince. I will also try to find distractions and one of them might be focusing on friends.
I see. Ofc everyone is different. I'm an infj. When I'm under stress I overindulge in sensory pleasures. What Frank said resonated with me but that's not all :)
Great commercial for Cloverleaf! 😂 Yeah, as an INFJ I get too mentical, and ignore the physical realm during stress. But, eventually I come back to reality. Thanks for not being too pedantic in your explanations!😸✌️
I'm an infp and when I'm stressed there're thousands of things flying through my mind which need to be done, like "I have to wash the floors, do groceries, make dinner" and so on, endlessly, until I feel like it's all too much and I'll never be able to do all of this bc it's so tiring and difficult and... Ordinary. Ordinary things are hard to cope with bc they're repetitive all the time and I have like a "straining" feeling in my chest when I have such thoughts. Idk how to explain it, at such times even washing the floors is a big deal, I constantly think: "I have to do it properly and NOW, how am I supposed to have my own home and family and my husband will leave me if I don't do it the right way and then my children will think less of me and my future home will be dirty and it's so hard and I'll screw my entire life" etc. And then I'd glance at my favourite fantasy book by chance and start replaying the story in my head all the while standing with a dripping brush in the middle of the room, having forgotten my previous concern because who cares about ordinary things? They're so boring anyway🤭
INTP - yes, and for me it is not a bad reaction, I will try to explain, Frank! Normally I find it hard to act, I like to think and consider all options for a long time and I am eager to hear other peoples' opinions in order to have more data to process and analyze. In a stressful situation (and I don't mean a long-term situation when I am likely to be paralysed, I mean immediate danger/crisis) I act. I aways know instantly what is the best solution and I want to act accordingly at once, not to analyse more as usual. (Sometimes the solution is best just because it is there and I need to act quickly and use what I've got). So when I am with a group of people and they question my solution and they want to waste precious time on further discussion I am frustrated and yes I may say it's dumb or simply that it doesn't make sense, it's wrong. In the end if they don't agree, whenever possible I will part ways with the group and use my solution instead of trying to convince anyone. If I cannot part ways, well, I may be very confrontational, much more than usual. If it is not a group problem I would push others away as you said, bc they are wasting my time making me listen to their advise when for once I want to act not think. But in this case maybe I wouldn't say it's dumb, I would say don't talk to me right now
I'm the same way about people questioning my opinion on something when stressed "my God you are an idiot why tf would you think that would work" then I end up trying to leave or end up not helping out much with the idea the other person suggested but I help a little because if I don't I feel useless (istp)
I agree with you, especially when doing team work, when im under stress, it's a nightmare. I can't accept other ppl's opinion/idea just becuz i think it's dumb idea (I can't tolerate when im under stress basically) and since I'm an introvert, it's kinda hard to explain my idea to ppl so i always ended up doing the idea on my own then I'll explain it to them :v
Your videos are always so accurate. As an ISTJ (that fluxes between istj & istp) I feel so seen. I always become extremely cold to people when I feel upset and tend to unintentionally hurt their feelings when I’m just being honest
ENFP here! I had too many situations where I refused to see the simplest solution. it always brought me to the point where I over complicated things and got stressed even more because my solution was too complex and didn’t solve anything anyway. And after my OUT of the box solution didn’t work I would choose to surrender and choose the simple one (no matter how much I didn’t want to). I failed so many times with my overcomplicated ideas, wasted so much more time and nerves with them, that it made me learn to lessen the pressure on myself and on a necessity to act out of the box. I accepted that a simple solution can be considered “creative” as well. THAT made my life so much easier ever since, I swear!
INFJ- stress is 3 ways for me. 1 i either use it as fuel to be motivated to get what is stressing me out done. 2 i either stop stressing because its not worth it 3 i can stop thinking about going threw scenarios on how to fix the stress 10 billion different ways and get stressed i do not control fixing it. This shuts me down and i become very very lazy / ghost
As an ENFJ, I can kind of relate..but usually I don't go around and tell them my problem right away (for the deep prob). Bcs I don't want to burden anyone but sometimes I just can't hold it and burst. My stress won't go away until I tell my friends (as u said, for them to solve it or help me out idk 😭) but sometimes it's stressing me out that I'm stressing ppl too 😭😂
As an INTJ, I’ve also noticed I’ll unhealthily indulge in my inferior function Extraverted Sensing when I’m stressed. I’ll go on food/drug/music/TV binges, using the sensory experiences to escape from reality (and live in Introverted Intuition realm) than actually looking around me and solving the problem.
Frank, how do you always manage to describe me perfectly? I thought I was an INFP, and my room and closet are both a huge mess... and my bathroom 😂 As well as everything else you mentioned! I look forward to you coming out with these videos every single week, thank you! ~ INFJ
Omg being an ENFJ I can totally relate. During stressful situations I do tend to make others super stressed out because I tell then about it, but then people get stressed bcs of me and then I feel guilty and get stressed even more. It’s a vicious cycle, that’s why I learn to avoid stress before this happens. :D
I can see a huge difference in two types of situations with me (INFJ): For daily stressful situations that Frank mentioned in the video, I will act exactly like that. I will show at least three notes on my computer and cellphone to organize and plan things for the next weeks, but I will delay starting things over till the last minute. But for highly stressful situations like real danger, that type of moment something inside your head presses the crisis button, red alert AAAAAAOOOOOOO siren, it feels like my Ni gives hand to Se under the order of a fakeTe. I will be cold and logical as an iceberg and will take a sequence of actions without even thinking, just by guts, and will keep in this mood until the danger passes away. I said that I'm a lot like Zenitsu when he sleeps and be really pragmatic. I will be in mood 1 complaining about how terrible it is until the stress reaches an unbearable level and I enter into this mood 2, just like him
Isfp here! And that whole bit about how we handle stress is ME literally *right now.* I am stressed out right now and I deal with anxiety and bouts of depression. Being around other people is the last thing I wanna do. I wish I could take leave from work (the major cause of my stress) to decompress and focus on my interests. I love my job, but it’s chaotic right now (I’m probably catastrophising it but it’s too much for me) I feel like I’m balancing a lot at work and not giving enough productive attention to my personal life.
As an ENFJ, I definitively agree with what he said about how ENFJs show soo much emotion and stress other people out in order to get help or advice in a stressful situation. I hate to feel like I’m on the spot, and I have to find a solution super fast. Once I get someone else’s opinion, then I can relax and deal with the situation more comfortably. -Picture the scene in Tangled when Rapunzel is freaking out about leaving the tower.🤣
As a typically stressed out student ENFP, I turn on long playlists of music I have never listened to before to satisfy my NE while actually getting whatever it was done. It has been really helping me focus without the excuse of I'm bored so I'm going to do something else instead.
I’ve changed over the years. I started as an INTJ, then INTP, and now I’m definitely EN-something-something. Probably FP, but I don’t feel like I can say with certainty. So I’m never really sure which person to relate to, but the good news is that I’ve had a crazy life and probably wouldn’t relate to anyone anyway.
I'm an ENTJ, and I can confirm that when I get stressed about *anything* I will start snapping at *everybody* who I think ought to be doing something different than what they are doing at the moment, irregardless of whether they are connected to my stressor. This often leads to hurt feelings on their parts, not least because I have the assertiveness and verbal skills to be an unintentional bully.
In different situations I have handled stress differently. As a kid, the usual way was to supress it and solve it on my own without mentioning it to people around me all the meanwhile paying attention to what needs to be done in order for me to actually be helpful. Nowadays, it varies. Since my mom has been ill ever since I was 8, I have cultivated fears related to her situation that have kept my mind on a leash. Having to face the worst outcome according to my previous state of mind, I am starting to consider different elements and why we tend to circumvent difficult topics in regards to health and death. In order to handle stress, the dominant and inferior function need to start collaborating to the best of their abilities. My dad handles the situation by constantly leaving the house for a walk and thinking about things in such state. I usually need to "receive" information from different sources in regards to different topics, then go for a walk and process all that calmly on my own.
I came here to have a good time, but honestly I'm feeling attacked right now. I was ready to comment (based on the title) we, INTP's, just don't handle stress. But you proved you know more about me than my own family.
INFJ here, hearing how I handle stress made me feel stressed 😂 I have so much going on that I juggle at once that 100% the smaller things like cleaning up my room gets set to the lowest priority, even hanging out with friends if I don’t feel I have the time for it, which makes me stressed cause I feel like I should have the time but then I feel too selfish if I take that time for myself and not spend time with friends, it’s a whole cycle 😢
I really liked the explanations vs the usual acting out. I do love the acting out, but this felt like a nice lesson that made sense. I 100% identified with mine :)
ENTP here. Last time I lost a job I was in panic mode for 2 weeks completely focused on creatively coming up with all the worst cases that could happen, especially conflicts with other people I depended on. Studying a semester to buy time to find my next job ended up being a good idea, but otherwise things turned out pretty good.
(ENTP) fortune favors the bold. Not sure why but our weak suit seams to benefit us almost as much as our strong suit. I too got annoyed, hit a low point. Decided it was time to change... ended up in a much better job for it. Lesser mortals seem to actually... suffer from their weak suits. (Halfway joking there)
@@HerKnightable well, scaring myself into a panic over things that hadnt yet become a problem is not something I would call an advantage haha. But I might be misunderstanding you too.
@@KarlOlofsson It is SO easy to get into a groove, but things have a way of working out if you can find the opportunity that no one else can see. Notice that I said it benefits us... not that it is fun for us. The point I described was realizing that I had spent ten years working for a dead-end job that was by people above me attempting to sabotage it and punished upward mobility by randomly firing middle management. That was a decade I realized was wasted. To SEIZE the opportunity I had to work in a factory doing the same mindless task for three years thanks to Covid, and then had to gamble it all away on a chance that was not a guarantee when everyone around me kinda thought I was wrong. Then, after spending an entire summer being rejected on applications I got the job I wanted and now make more than ever. Again.... it DID benefit me. It sucked... but was worth it.
@@KarlOlofsson I was not in control. I made things up as I went. It is the ENTJs who it actually went according to plan. I moved forward with the confidence that I am awesome. (ENTP-A)
Oh my, you just explained me very well, being an Intj, I definitely am I intj, yet sometimes I think I am a intp because I am so controlled in my mental universe as well as hobbies and daily schedules with absolutely no leeway, yet when it comes to stuff like just doing the laundry, or other small tasks I don’t even bother with them when under stress.
Oh the ISFP bit was so on point for my (ISFP) recent struggle dealing with stress at work. Ended up quitting because that's what felt right despite how logical it would be not to do that lol The ISFP trap of jumping to follow what feels right even if it's a terrible idea wins every time with me, especially once it gets stressful.
As INTJ... Yeah this is true. Thank you for the tip FJ. Next time I think I could help myself become less stress or deal with it if I focus on reality a bit.
I was like "nah the way I handle stress has changed so much, Frank won't get me this time" and then he hits me with the procrastination card and I'm like crap he got me😭
This was very informative! Spot on about INFP (me) and INTJ (my husband). Personally when I get very stressed about something that I’m not confident about or feel powerless about, I avoid it and hope it disappears. Of course that doesn’t solve anything! But if I feel confident or like I can handle it, I tackle it. But the story of my life is having a ton of ideas or feeling like I have a thousand things that I need to be tending to, so I feel overwhelmed and therefore don’t focus on anything really… or I’m scattered and don’t finish things. It’s like I need a life coach who can help me focus 😆
All true. I'm an isfp and my husband is an estj. This always makes for interesting/frustrating times when we are stressed. He will all of a sudden be on me about everything "we" need to do. I'm like , "are you kidding me, now I'm more stressed and overwhelmed, leave me alone to think. " we've been married more than 15 years, so at least we know what to expect and how to handle it now.
Finally, thanks to all Frank James' videos, I now get to understand I'm actually an ESTJ and not an ISTJ, unlike what I've been thinking for tne years since my first MBTI test Thanks a lot Frank.That helps a lot to understand how (why) I function.
As an infj, when i feel ashamed of something i did i try to think about someone who did the same shameful thing i did so i feel less lonely and ashamed
I was INFJ, read a lot of stoic philosophy which offers advice for control and stress handling... it changed me. Nowadays every test says i'm INTJ ...interesting that you put them both in the same category, because i can see an enormous difference
I think he already made a video about it or at least brushed it... not sure if it was a recent video or YT algrithm recommending an old video or was that someone else... not the only channel that does 16 personalities.
That nugget of info about how Infjs + Intjs are different in organisation than other judging types was veryy clarifying! The way they are mentally, spiritually organised but can let the material surroundings fall to chaos at times due to inferior Se 😶
ISFJ here - totally agree! I love to dig in deep in processes to understand hows and whys, and when the kaka hits the oscillating fan, I just go into overdrive of "Make a plan, stick to the plan - always deliver!" (Thank you "Storks") That stability really helps me cope with the stress, but I get so stuck in a rut. My extroverted intuition is already weak, so when I'm seriously burnt out, I cannot even think up any brilliant ideas to get us out of the mess we're in. I'm just maintaining what we've done in the past and am blinded to the next phase. I didn't understand that until watching this video, so thank you for the illumination, FJ! :)
i'm an enfp too and rarely stress! could be our general optimism and go with the flow mindsets, closest thing to stress that i'd say i get is getting overwhelmed with details, unwelcome Si overload i bet
As an INFP that used to be an INFJ I feel as though INFPs are more concerned about being morally right and care more about everyones (including their own) emotions while INFJs care more about understanding and planning the situation so that it doesn’t get out of hand but not doing considering the reality that not everything will go to plan also they to care so much about others in their life that they forget to do every-day simple thing I used to be a lot more concerned about other people, so much so that I would lose my sense of self and would just focus on pleasing others (a people pleaser) but now as an INFPI feel a lot more connected to myself, I can understand my emotions so much that I can control my conscious in a healthy, internal way.
Great video !!! I’m an ENFJ and I found the Fe dom section so relatable and insightful. I never realised that I feel so insecure about decisions because I feel like I should be able to rely on my Ti. But Fe wants that external validation because it doesn’t think it can trust it’s own Ti judgement. I also feel like I have to work stuff out on my own because I feel like I should be able to use my inferior function but I guess I can’t lol. You think you’ve learnt everything about cognitive functions and then you learn something new. Thank you !!
@@belavera994 Same here as an infj. I've been trapped in an awful situation going on for over 3 years now. I feel so alone and miserably depressed. You're not alone. I feel like this world society wasn't built for an infj at all. They want followers instead.
You know, I always imagined Ni doms to be super unorganized (not in the mind, but in the physical plane) since they have demon Se 😂 I didn't register that they're J types and J types are said to be orderly and stuff
@@justins3810 It should be worth noting... every type kinda feels like it doesn't mesh well with their type. Some hate how chaotic themes seem. Feelers feel like the world is driven by cold logic. Logic feels like there is WAY too much emotion driving things. Ironically, they are all needed or the world would collapse. Really, the whole "J" type being organized only applies well for the extroverts for the most part. You guys just judge yourself a wee bit too hard. On the other-hand, my type (ENTP) is the one who knows by nature society cannot be built for people who who's instincts are to tear it down or defy it. 😂
I like all your vids, but this is FANTASTIC, and absolutely spot in, at least for myself as an INTJ, and also describing my ISTJ hubby. Will be rewatching!!
As an ISFP I do isolate myself to think, but not only about my feelings. About what's the most logical option too. And when I'm stressed out I kinda turn off the feelings, trying to be the most objective in the situation as I can. But I hate when someone is giving me their opinions about it, suggesting solutions, when they're not me, they're not in my situation and I just HAVE TO do it my own way. So yeah, kinda accurate. Oh, and I'm telling about my problems to friends, but when it doesn't bother me so much anymore
Yeah that's so ISFP. Doesn't matter how good, logical, and well-informed someone's advice is, if it's not what feels right to us we're just never gonna take that advice lol
"...will feel pressured by those to-dos in such a way they might be ignore them or put them off until they become a huge problem." Yes. Perfectly describe why my life start to falling apart. Great video as always Frank!
Its okay FJ, as an ISTP, I understand your Charlie reference, probably the only one time I will understand a reference considering I don't follow memes. And if you're wondering...yes I bit people when I was younger too.
Haha I used to throw stuff at people when I was a kid, like a girl sitting in the same sandbox as me assumes she can play with one of my cars just because I'm not currently playing with it, nope that gets you sand thrown in your face!
Dear Frank, I'm an ENTJ. I speak on behalf of all ENTJs to say that, while we appreciate all of your content, the fact that you don't timestamp each type in the video is maddening, as I have no choice but to watch all your content to get to the parts that are relevant to me. Do what you will with this information, but know you're causing stress to the ENTJs because we can't be efficient in this regard. Cheers, Your local ENTJ
My mom is an ESTJ, and this describes her to a T. In fact, stressing out like this is her normal mode. And spot on mentioning that these types tend to bring their stresses home with them, because she does exactly that. :p She always thinks she needs to do EVERYTHING (nobody asks her to), and that it's up to her alone to ever get things done because she wants things done a certain way. Relaxing doesn't exist in her vocabulary. We have to walk on eggshells around her.
That second part about doing everything herself sounds like my mom (ESFJ). Also bringing the stress home. And she gets emotional when we tell her to take a break. -ESTJ For me, I take on all the work of the group project when other people don't care about deadlines or the stuff they send me is wrong or missing a lot. I am not risking a bad grade because of someone else. And I get pretty grumpy with those people when they slag of while I pull a week of all-nighters. Don't talk to me in that time. Offer me some food and drinks and leave me alone. 👍🏻
My mom is ESTJ too and exactly like your mom. I’m INTP so she’s like pushing me the hell to do stuff in reality. @@Me-meow77 My sister is INFJ and with my ESTJ mother they always fight. It’s total chaos when INFJ trying to fix feeling problems to ESTJ.
@@Me-meow77 Excluding our relations with the ESTJ, we’re kind of chill I guess. We have our own world, because we’re sort of misfits lol. Among the feeling types I guess INFJs are quite comfortable to be around for an INTP. I guess she helps develop my inferior Fe, I have no idea what help I did to her though. Maybe she’s relieved she’s not as weird as I am.
As always, so true it's a little creepy. As an INTP, whenever I'm stressed I'll completely reject everything anyone else has to say, and then I'll catch myself and wonder why I did that when in all honesty they were also being perfectly logical so I probably should have been more open-minded yadda yadda. And this only gets worse as my stress level goes up. Interestingly, after the incident I'll often switch to my Fe and just vent to whichever friend I think of first. (Yes, this INTP has friends. Shocking.) I asked them to say if I was being annoying and so far they haven't complained, but they could just be lying to spare my feelings. :(
OMG you are spot on for ENTJ! My stress doesn't go away unless I take things off of my list. If a person is being wishy washy and holding me up, I get pissed at them. This includes people holding up my plans which is why I take charge in planning things. I've gotten " better" by not relying on people for some things (I did put better in quotes🤣) or by having a solid game plan.
(ENTP) my brain shows me how to manipulate most circumstances, but in my experience, I have come to start keeping "S" types... particularly the XSXJ types in my circles because while they rarely have much interesting to add for me; they tend to pull through when I need them most.
@@cottoncandy1860 And that is why I love types like yours. It might be difficult to get most of the sensor types to see the world of possibility in my mind's eyes but when you have no dwarves to call upon in hard times a good ESTJ is pretty much the same thing just less obvious.
This is so true! I'm INTJ and i make a lot of projections to many different situations to see how can i handle the current situation in the best way i conclude possible even circumvent it if necessary as i try so hard not to accumulate my tasks and work at all, but unfortunately this is mostly at the expense of my personal relationships or mental peace and serenity. Health gets thrown out of the window immediately (sleeping, eating, looking after my body.. etc)
same, i feel like i focus on mostly only 1-2 *mayb* 3 things a day, everything else gets sent to the *future me will take care of this* folder, then one day i wake up in the middle of a house fire and im thinking how the hell did that happen, o right its been 7 months since i even looked at anything besides my monitor or bed pillow
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I’d Be So Stoked if You Tested Me On Your Show Using CLOVERLEAF Since There Was Some On-Line “Controversy" About My Type. Have Your People Call My People. 😎
Thank you! Finally I could figure out if I’m an Esfp or Enfp, or something COMPLETLY different!!
I actually signed up yesterday because I heard about it in one of your other videos, thanks!
Frank, your channel is increasing slower than before.Isn't it? Or maybe the one who used to spread it and share it to any communities, no longer here.
Well I thought what the heck. Every time I’ve taken test = INFJ but I thought let me try this one maybe I won’t be this time, it’s from Frank let’s see…yep. INFJ again. Acceptance is the answer😂
Timestamps! ✨
2:52 ESFP and ESTP
4:25 ISTJ and ISFJ
5:25 ENTJ and ESTJ
6:57 ISTP and INTP
8:37 ENFJ and ESFJ
10:10 ISFP and INFP
11:47 ENTP and ENFP
13:31 INTJ and INFJ
Thank you, Mari!
Thank youu
Thank you so much :>
~ENTP
Tyyy
Ty
INTJ
When you're a stressed INTP with an assignment due in a few hours but you still feel the need for it to be grammatically correct, factually sound, well researched, and somehow 3 pages more than the page requirement.
Intp here. Literally the same thing is happening with me...I keep on re-reading it again and again thinking I must have done something wrong
Oh, this hit hard.
I'm an ENTJ, but that hits harder than most stuff does.
The worst thing when INFPs are stressed is to postpone every problem for later and not to deal with it in real time. It creates a huge amount of problems to solve later and a big stress that the things aren't done. We love to sabotege ourselves, aren't we? 😆
Sounds like the type of person to use a credit card and build up MASSIVE debt
Yes, we are 😅
@@J-Stediford06 I don't know, personally I have never done that, I'm really careful with my money
@@J-Stediford06 no, I don't think that's typical for an INFP, because they're not attached to material goods,so they're good with staying on a budget. They can manage living with nearly nothing.
It's more about chores when it comes to INFPs. Or to answering letters, going to job interviews, applying for something on time, stuff like that.
@@J-Stediford06 lol I don't know about MASSIVE debt but I'll grant that my credit report is a TJ's nightmare. Working on sorting that out.... very slowly. Not a type of problem I personally lose sleep over.
I’m an INFJ that’s been stressed lately and I decide to spend Sunday getting my life back in order by taking care of all the tasks that piled up. I felt attacked when he mentioned we let everyday tasks pile up because I’m currently folding laundry Ive needed to do for 3 weeks 😂 and responding to all the friends I ignored. 😅
fuck I need to do that I just deleted all social for like 2 months I'm sorry people I ignored
I have three different assignments given to me one or two weeks ago for school that I need to finish by Monday (I have not started.) So I totally agree lol
@@strawbsh0rtcak3 :/ do it now? Trust me when you get started once doing assignment, it'll become interesting and interesting.
If you have 1 assignments for 1 week (6 days and take 1 day break) then do 1/3 per day. Try organizing too.
How relatable 😂
Ditto. I’m right there with you.
As an INFJ, I can totally agree, I was going through a lot of stress and I was just "escaping" reality and trying to get back in control. It was a cycle of planning, doing and not doing what I was supposed to do.
Exactly! And right now my current stressor is figuring my EXACT career/education goals (aka, which bachelor's will be best for my masters, which masters will be best for which licensing/job, if I should get my PhD or not- which school is best for my bachelors/masters- and all of that planning so far in advanced is helpful to an extent, but it is causing unnecessary stress when i should keep my main focus on one goal at a time. It's been making me put off schooling in general. But then I definitely notice I lack doing my chores, and just regular tasks at work like catching up on my email and turning in monthly work. The hands on things just become more draining for me.
Wait, do I have ADHD and anxiety, or am I just an INFJ...? 🤔
Or does ADHD and anxiety, mixed with introversion, lead to INFJ behavior?
@@tigermuffin7892 😐😐😐
@@Kul_Games lol what, am I taking things to seriously? 😅
As an INFP this sounds very familiar. Especially the part about not being able to do anything because you feel overwhelmed. The smallest things realy become obstacles. Thanks for putting it into words so clearly
Yes, I struggle with this too, especially when I feel overwhelmed at work. I need to keep reminding myself to actually think and do things step by step and slowly everything will make sense even though it feels wrong. Most of the time it just feels wrong, but then when I actually get through the majority of the task, I find myself realising, no actually this part here validates/confirms what I was originally worried that I would get wrong/result in bad consequences (aka I was right all along but just could not see it). It's just getting started and persevering are the hardest things to do when I'm stressed. Even sending an email feels like too much because I'm worried that someone might incorrectly interpret my email and get mad at me, even though that's very unlikely to happen. I end up wasting soooo much time stressing about simple tasks when my mind is overwhelmed. I usually try to explain what I'm trying to do and my logic/reasoning to someone else to make sure that I stay on track and give myself some reassurance.
As an INFP with 4 kids (very close in age) I’ve found myself forced to rely more often on my inferior TE and it has been very rewarding. When I feel overwhelmed now (still happens easily), I’ve trained myself to just get something -anything- done. It jump starts me out of overwhelm. Maybe you can give it a try too!
Yes!
Yup. I could compile a list of shit I need to do, but it's really scary. I'm actually afraid of failing.
Yup. As an infp as well, if I’m under too much stress, I get overwhelmed and shut down. I’m physically unable to focus or function correctly, and everything makes me cry 🥲
As an INFP, this was spot on. I always isolate myself when I'm stressed, first to think and see how I feel and then (maybe) talk to others about it! hahah Thanks Frank!
I'm an INFP as well!
The last month has been extremely stressful to me and I've found myself shutting down during that. Definitely helps to just go and spend time with others just to get out of your own head for a bit.
@@Clarisonic2 Spot on for me. I have to feel like I can trust someone to impart advice without judging me for how I process situations, before going to them for advice. Otherwise, it's me and my intuition, man. 😅
We are siblings. I need people to be silent and not touch me as I am working out how I feel.
Istp here, just to say Arthur Dias great profile pic
As an INTJ, you were so accurate that you made me cry. I didn't realise how much my real life has been messed up; I only spend time studying for high school. I quit my hobbies, stopped interacting with family, ignored friends; basically a mess. I will try to improve.
Edit: Guys, I'm fine. It will take some time, but I'm sure I will be back on track. Thank you for your kind words 😊
Edit 2: I found some solutions, and I think they are working. I find it easier to sleep day by day.
Edit 3: College Update. I ended up not getting into my dream university (IIT Delhi), but instead ended up in my dad's dream university (BITS Pilani), when he was my age! I am pursuing the degree I had always aimed for, and have a fresh outlook in life. I am socializing (a thing hard for me), restarting my hobbies, and trying out new ones! Have re-engaged contacts with friends in last couple of months, and overall my family too is more lively after the end of my high-school phase. Spent the entire last month just chilling with family and friends.
I can relate 🙂 - INTJ
(ENTP) When I learned my weak-point I started actively training myself to spot S types. A few friends here and there. I pick them first when I am selecting teams. XSXJs are a bit of a God-Send to me. Given how our two types are both Ns you may try the exact same.
I wish you the best of luck in this, I know school is important, but it's good to step back and just chill for a minute and to do things that make you happy rather than focusing in on one thing, I really don't understand Ni at all so that might not be easy for you as it is for others, but either way I hope you find a good balance and can happier healthier future
INTJ-Same here...my life fell apart from stress several years ago and hasn't been the same since. Still trying to have some happiness and joy, but...it's fleeting. Depression is my life now. I tried to get out of it by spending time with my family, but you know how it is...
You can be around people and still feel alone. I isolate myself when I get tired of interacting...feeling alone eventually yet again. It's always one or the other...no happy medium.
Just don't have any answers for life anymore seems like.
@@joshpatrick8809 I'm really sorry you're going through that, and I hope things get better for you
You said you went through a stressful time, did you ever talk to anyone about that? I understand that it's hard to talk about stuff, but I heard it can help, and talking things through doesn't make you weak or anything, but I get that maybe that other ppl won't understand and a lot of the time they don't
Another thing is, how has your diet and sleep?
It probably won't solve everything, but your diet and how many calories you consume can have a huge affect on your mood and mental well being
Do you know why you feel alone?
Spot on for me as an INFJ... I overplan as a comfort mechanism, trying to feel comforted by knowing the future is secured for me. It's my first year of university, so I'm stressed about school and money. I plan for the future, but not for the present moment. It's a burden and a gift. Future looks promising but the present moment is a mess lmao
Maybe I am a controlling bastard 🤔
What do I need to do now? Is a question I should probably ask more
as an ENFP this is very accurate there were so many times where I failed a semester in collage because I was under stress and ended up learning about billion other topics, binging ted talks and random theories and starting creative projects, coming up with genius theories and ideas instead of doing what needs to be done, then I use " actually im an independent learner and uni is just restricting my creativity" as an excuse
💯!
Oh.. Now I understand why I can't work in and on my business..
Samee omg I am ENFP too people thought I was crazy:")
I'm an INFJ with this same habit. When I was in college I struggled to stay on task because there were so many interesting things to study, other than the assignment.
That’s me right now!!
How did you get out there?
As an ENFP who is currently on stress leave right now...this is spot on! My brain is all over the place and instead of actually doing the things I want to do (like baking), I'm looking up piping tips that I don't have and it's been 3 hours and I haven't done a thing...sigh...
Well, good luck! I'm also an ENFP and just baked brownies; even though they're not the best, they're food! Just do it if you want to! We all need to stop overthinking sometimes.
ENTP here. When I’m under stress I either disappear to try to rework my life in my mind until I finally just pray over the whole mess or get very upset at everyone I perceive to be causing the stress until I finally just pray over the whole mess.
I’m watching this video, in part, to escape more into my head. Spot on, Frank!
My husband (ENFP) does things like this too. He spends hours researching things that aren't relevant or realistic for the situation at hand. If we need to plan an upcoming trip to somewhere a few hours away, he'll instead plan a hypothetical trip to a foreign country (which we could never possibly afford to visit), down to where he'd like to stay and which restaurants he'd like to try. I'm an ISTJ, so it is baffling and infinitely frustrating to me, but now I understand better.
@@letfreedomring7330 wow exact opposites you two!
Dude, as an INFJ yourself, you know how we operate, and that was truly spot on, and yes, we can forget the world even exists.
Does the world even matter, tho? - INTJ
@@benoni83 To tell you the truth, I would have to say both yes and no, it matters when we have something to work on in it but doesn't when we don't. As an INTJ yourself and a fellow Ni dom, I am sure you already know that.
You make some really good points about the INTJ, INFJ personalities. I've recently committed to overthinking less. Practicing stoicism has helped. Overthinking used to rule my life, it made nothing better and I did not like the person I was. So I just stopped- as much as one can. And instead I'm choosing to have faith in my talent and intuition to get me through tough situations in the moment, rather than thinking them- and myself- to death.
Hello, I'm an intj who relied on stoicism for almost a decade. It's detrimental. When it's actually time to have feelings it's a huge problem
I don’t think so at all. He is a self- loathing INFJ.
I just realized I do this A LOT (INTJ). I tend to detach myself when under pressure, I ignore everyone and everything around me; someone could be yelling at me and I wouldn’t hear them. It’s not a nice feeling, let me tell you, it feels like I’m no longer in control of my body, like it’s moving on its own or like it’s in autopilot
This is so helpful!! I'm an INTJ, and I just moved into a new state. I have no friends, no job, NO CAR. "Stressed" ain't even the word right now. But I've been saying to myself: "This problem is just like any other problem that I've solved. It's no biggie." But I totally feel unmotivated to do anything. Te is dead, and Se, she wants cake, pie, and chocolate. At least now I see why I feel/think the way I do and can take practical steps moving forward. Thx FJ.
INTP here. You nailed it. And of course, because we can't make perfection on a deadline we end up procrastinating and pretending the problem doesn't exist. And then we realize that it's really too late to reach perfection, but a rushed job is better than nothing. So a flurry of activity and we end up turning in something that is actually decent, somehow. Usually. Maybe? Sometimes really good. Or nothing. Because anything is too hard at this point.
44 minutes left...
My mind jumps to "Of course there is too much noise, cant see details, cant see time, what immediate sense of feeling are you using to judge me. Will people see me stand here "doing nothing, being lazy" or will every detail clear the moment and every neuron needed to fire to get it right the first time. Lets find out shall we!"
As an ISTP the same thing happens with me
As an Intj I just ignore whatever is stressing me out and just start organizing my plans. Well maybe my life is crashing rn but I have a plan to follow for the next 20 years.
(ENTP) my life crashed like five years ago. Hit a low point, and I had to rebuild. Fortunately, things will get better.
Mmhm. In theory I should be able to ignore whatever complicated emotions I'm feeling in order to more efficiently get stuff done but then because I am ignoring all my complicated emotions I lose the ability to function.
@@Tagtot In theory, but there is another outcome. When I was a child, I had a short fuse. My temper would control me. Now, my temper can explode, and I can function reasonably while still being enraged. Emotions are not a weakness. They can, at times, be a disadvantage but they can also be a massive advantage. The secret you CAN get to the point to where they don't control you. Being able to suppress your emotions is not always the healthy pick. There ARE times... when you do need to, but it is a balance. Sometimes you need to feel them and work through them. For example, a nurse sees a child in pain. She feels sympathy and WANTS to make him better. That is a benefit. Now if she loses it to her sympathy, she is unproductive, but we still want to feel connected. That same thing that could hurt her productivity can also be the thing that makes her the best at her job. On the other hand... no kid wants to get a shot. And yet, look what happened to children during the last Polo outbreak. At that point she needs to suppress the feelings and do something she knows will hurt him to avoid something far worse for him. Those complicated emotions can become your strength if you can learn to use them in a healthy way, and sometimes yes... you need to suppress them, but do not rush for the later.
Im an INFJ, and I've noticed that the Ni/Se comes into play in an interesting way when I'm stressed.
I'll try to figure out ways forward constantly, and I might not be able to deal with other people as well - that's very true - but at the same time, I'll often overindulge in sensory things, maybe as a way to find some semblance control. So I'll buy a bunch of ice cream, or listen to loud music, just to sort of "drown out" the stress, because if I can't do anything about it, it's out of my control, and I want to control at least _Something_ so Junk Food it is!
(ENTP) If I get too stressed my brain will skip right past my "TI" and go straight into my "FE" translating to the same emotion every single time. Rage. I find rage to be strangely soothing for stress because at that point I don't have my normal distractions. No need to "find" motivation. It is much better now that I am older and can control my temper. I totally get the part where he explained my brain gets more "random" though. It makes me wonder how our brains cycle through the cognitive functions when it is overwhelmed. I think the fact I don't eat too much or other sensory activities comes from my SI function instead of your type's SE function.
Yesss this is so relatable! - INFJ
I need something to chew on immediately after a lot of stress. And loud, fast bass music in headphones (important) is very relaxing, I immediately concentrate and can solve problems quickly and productively. You can also release Fe-demon and yell at the source of stress (this wastes my resource, I do not do this, although it is bad, because the person does not understand that he did shit, because I leave him and everything looks ..normal
Istp
For me, it's food and UA-cam. So here I am. 😆
Yeah, food, watch shows that make me feel good, dancing with loud music, also cleaning like my life depended on it... really, all the SE activities that make me feel in control. I literally have the thought, "I know I shouldn't eat this (unhealthy) thing, but I am my own master!". All while trying not to think.
For the introverted intuition types, (I’m an INTJ) our strategy, if we come up with one in a timely manner, ends up working pretty well when everyone else is freaking out. On some occasions, I have been able to literally detach from emotion and concern while I come up with a decent solution… only for all of the stress to come slamming back into me once everything is over. Can any INTJ’s or INFJ’s relate?
As an ISTP, I do not immediately realize that I am under stress. Then emotions come and I don’t understand where they come from, it kind of accumulates and explodes. Or like a delayed wave. After I found out that I was an ISTP, I understood what was going on. My advice: pay close attention to your emotional health, no need to save, no need to protect other people, basically 98% of people are complete crap who cannot be held responsible for their words and actions (sorry lol). Therefore ...... do not waste time on them, do not protect, beware of manipulators (bad infj, for example), the most productive state is relaxed concentration (in the flow).
Classic istp.
(ENTP) We only work under pressure.
Not entirely true... but...
Thanks for putting that so correctly together. Greetings from a fellow ISTP
As an INTP, I can totally relate.
Also, there's no need to apologize for simply stating the truth. Although, I wouldn't say they're *complete* crap. Maybe just 90% crap lol
True facts
A fellow istp
I’m an ENFJ and I just started laughing so hard when it got to the part where you mentioned making everyone else stressed! Even when I don’t mean to sometimes, I know I’m just projecting my feelings of stress onto others and it’s funny how you so accurately pointed that out! 😂 Great job Frank and love your vids!
Agreed, as an ENFJ, when the people around me are stressed I’d do everything I can to help and even feel stressed myself so you best bet I’m hoping for the same energy.
@StarLily Frank just does that, right? he knows about you more than you know about yourself... 😂
Im ENFJ too and yeh. I will immediately press my friends when theyre stressed and wont stop until theyre ok so i expect them to do the same thing for me. But when they ask me whats wrong ill say im ok and theyll just leave me be.
My daughter is ENFJ & I am INFJ- I was literally thinking last night why are we oil & water, why does she put me in a state of constant panic, as she has just pulled me into stress that day putting me into a loop & I get stuck and can’t pull out of it then as I am thinking about it she brings up some random symptom that she googled saying it is either this life threatening genetic disease or diabetes & we have to go to ER. Sending into even more stress🥺
I'm an ENFJ too! yeah this is relatableee
You're absolutely right I'm an INFJ but when I'm stressed especially when approaching exam season things fall apart I don't even bother keeping my space all that neat as I usually do and heck I go offline and have to remind myself to keep contact with my family.
I'm an INFJ and I've been working in a government office for almost 3 years now. I know the work is very repetitive, I don't even like desk jobs. Pay is somewhat good but I'm not really happy just sitting there. My anxiety got worse when my girlfriend told me that I should try taking risks putting up a business rather than staying in my job lol. I get her, but it's really not that easy when you're living in a 3rd world country. When I was in college, I really wanted to take psychology or any courses in the medical field but my parents forced me to get engineering (my dad's an engineer). Just 2 years in, I shifted to another course. I told them I'm not happy and I wanted to pursue psychology. My mom told me "well that's good but you'll have a hard time looking for jobs when you graduate. Why don't you try accounting". So I did. I did it because a lot of times that I tried to give my opinion on just about anything, she would attack me personally saying stuff like "oh you think you know better if you trust your intuition more than my advice based on my experiences now, do you. Let's see if you can handle it in the real world."
Sorry for the rant. It's barely a quarter of all problems that I bottled up inside but somehow it feels good letting it out. Like what Butcher says to Hughie in The Boys, my whole life is a compromise 🥲
ENTP here, Frank you were spot on with the Ne dom types. When I am under extreme stress the first things to "go" are: my daily routines like sleep and eating schedules, keeping my room clean, self care (beyond the most like bare minimum hygiene), forgetting to pay bills on time, etc.
It's not so much that I'm consciously like, "f*** my credit card bills and skincare routine!" but more that those things feel SO overwhelming when I have "bigger fish to fry," ie whatever problem(s) I'm dealing with. And the thought of approaching them feels Herculean, even though logically I know they are not that difficult, so I get in this toxic cycle of avoidance.
Through discipline + self-work, I've been able to incorporate healthy routine into my life, which is something I'm proud of and know is really is good for me. BUT under stress...it's like all my progress goes out the window and I'm back at square 1!
Same!
Enfp.
Gosh ENFP here and you literally described my own life
Amen. Been there...doing that!
Wow, as an INTJ, this was spot on. When I am stressed, i just focus on work and everything else around me gets forgotten. Wasn't expectong that to be so accurate.
INTJ here. You 💯% nailed it. I’m in my fifties and although was able to handle stressors easily when younger, with age, you end up with more obligations and more serious stress (and also single now so no partner to help out or motivate me). For the first time I’m dealing with the repercussions of this right now as I methodically work through organizing and cleaning my chaotic mess of a home that I’ve been ignoring for months. Proud to say I’ve been doing pretty good, taking baby steps every day (had to put up a calendar to mark off the days to keep me focused on it).
Well... Frank just explained in under 2 minutes what my therapist and I needed over a month to figure out together. 😅 (ISFP)
As an INFP when I'm stressed or anxious things that I do everyday really becomes an obligation in such a way that I just ignore and go do anything to process or minimize my strong feelings and then do my stuff...
The only problem it's when my tasks accumalate and I can't put off any further XD Great video FJ, accurate as always!
(If my explanation aren't clear by any mistakes, please feel free to correct me. I'm learning english and I need to improve my vocabulary. Ty
Agreed, I wrote almost the same comment :)
Your explanation was very clear! I'm also an INFP and totally related to everything you said! Your English is great, I didn't even notice mistakes until you mentioned you were learning. And they're tiny, so don't stress about it! You spell things a lot better than many native English speakers! 😂 Have a nice day!
@@lailanitukuafu Thank youuuuu, I'm so happy to hear it! Actually, happy to read it XD
Hear ya, exactly!
As an infp as well, I relate very much. Once the tasks accumulate to the point where you have to do something about it, it usually takes a few mental breakdowns to get through it lol
As an INTJ, it’s excessively hard for us to really show that we’re stressed, and yeah we really do overthink about what’s actually stressing us.
As an autistic INFJ, this happens a lot. I try to solve this one small problem or do this one task but I use all my energy and time just for that and everything else that's actually important too spirals out of control because the whole focus is on one thing and nothing else.
Happens to me even with eating, writing a simple note down or looking something up. I need to prepare for it, make sure I have everything ready and haven't forgotten anything, check several times just to be sure and then do the thing after going through all the possible options in my mind many many times and afterwards I need to recharge and then the next thing pops up.
@Lunits I'm also still going through the diagnosis assessment and hope I'll get the diagnosis soon...Good luck with yours! /gen
I mean I got a longletter from my therapist where she says she thinks I'm autistic and explains it a bit more why she thinks so, so in case I won't get a "professional" diagnosis I can still at least show someone that if it's important. Because self diagnosis is obviously valid if you've done your research and all, but a lot of people wouldn't believe it. I mean even with an official diagnosis it's difficult...but the most important thing is that we know that it's true, so we can get to know ourselves better and learn that there's some things we can work on and that others will always be difficult, no matter how much we try, like the stress thing.
Sure I could try to widen the focus on two things and get those done, but I'd still not be able to focus on anything else and maybe need more breaks and now I think I'm starting to get too deep into it and if I won't stop writing now I'll probably never stop.
I have no idea if this still makes any sense...
I’m an infj and possibly autistic? I have to have everything organized at times before I can relieve the stress. My problem solving skills kick in when I’m relieving other peoples stress. My personal stress is on the floor of my messy bedroom which I d just as soon ignore and help others or sort rocks
I am an INFJ and while it is true, that I tend to build a whole ideal world system around my problems, like writing to-do lists, making weekly and monthly plans, integrating productivity hacks galore and useless stuff like that instead of doing anything, I also ESTP it, and start to do the most random stuff, like laundry, sorting through my closet, selling the sorted stuff online and then cleaning my doors and windowframes... very productive, very much ignoring the real problem. What I literally never do when stressed out is let others know about it. If all I could talk about how much I hate my life right now, I don't pick up the phone.
woW well explained
As an INFJ I tuned in and out whilst you were talking about INFJ’s because I was thinking about the times the things you said had happened to me, then I was laughing, then I was thinking about your scenario and how you probably don’t know who you are because you’ve been embodying all of our personalities…and then I was thinking how you would handle that stressing situation or thought? Loool Yh i know it’s a lot! And it all happened the course of your talk about INFJ’s
INTJ here and you nailed that. When I’m not stressed, my physical world runs like a well-oiled machine. But when I get really stressed, it gets more and more chaotic and I’ll freeze up and retreat into planning mode. I know this about myself though so will force myself to do at least ONE thing in the physical each day, even if just a little thing like washing 2 dishes. Once I get some momentum I feel better and can begin to recover. But man it’s like dragging myself through molasses to do anything at all when things get too far out of control.
Echo that. I am there right now, stuck in that lake of molasses.
-fellow INTJ
As an INFP growing up in a very stressful, unhealthy family, there was kind of an endless cycle of needing to escape/withdraw/tend to my feelings, neglecting Te stuff, causing problems for my family because of that, their hostility and pressures toward me increasing as a result, me getting more stressed, repeat.
Having a low-stress life now, and having my major Fi stuff relatively sorted out by this point, I don't have the need to spend such a disproportionate amount of time and energy tending to Fi, so it is easier to be more balanced and productive.
Relatable!
How do the kids say it…?! #LIFE_GOALS
I'm an INFJ and my best friend is an INTJ. We deal with problems and things almost the same. The only major difference between us I think is he is more comfortable speaking up or letting people know what's on his mind. He can also easily call out people and point out things that need to be changed or improve. When we talk, we usually agree on everything haha. The only difference is I find it hard to share it to others unless I'm sure that they also agree or that they will not be hurt in any way. When my best friend is stressed, he would usually lock himself in his room (we lived together when we were still in uni). I also do the same. We would watch series together and just talk or eat.
He is now in Malta and I miss him every day. Such a rare thing to find a friend like that. Someone who understands me and I understand as well.
I also noticed that I get along with INTJ and INTP. Maybe because they help me understand my thoughts better and affirm my opinions about thinhs. ☺️
INFJ was too accurate 😅😂 love that you mentioned ''very organised but it's in this abstract realm'' lol, it feels appropriate that a video about handling stress would come out on my birthday 😂 this last week has been ridiculous in places lol ...I've been relying on my systems a lot 🙈
As an INFJ, my number one method for dealing with stress is to literally dive into an RPG for days, only coming out to take care of the bare basics like food, water, bathroom, and work. Whole time I'm doing it, the back of my mind is trying to process and come up with how to "make it fit." I feel called out, Frank.
As an ISTP, I have to admit that I’m insufferable when I’m stressed. I get overly annoyed with everything people do and I feel a physiological need to LET THEM KNOW IT. I start being a hater for literally no reason, just straight up wake up and choose violence. I create conflict compulsively and end up hurting everyone around me. I only realize how mean and unreasonable I was being after isolating myself for sometime.
That sounds like my father. He's usually very calm but when stressed he'd suddenly get pissed at every single small thing. He'd yell and be very unreasonable. I withdraw from him and give him some alone time. When he's calm and has sorted out his problems, he comes to me to apologize and cuddles me :D To compensate for what he did, he becomes more affectionate than usual.
I'm an INFJ. When I'm stressed... I'm the most annoying person in the world for sensors (both of my parents are sensors so I feel bad for them XD). During that time, I'm ALWAYS in my head to the point I neglect my studies,chores, taking care of my health, family and overindulge in sensory things (such as junk food, loud music and dance). I overthink (and think that I'm making progress) and ignore acting on that problem. It annoys me too.
I get out of this state when I finally act on the problem that's stressing me out.
istp- yes i definitely understand, its rlly scary that this happens to me often, like i would hurt my mom or ppl i love w my words without even realizing it, and only after some time i realize what i've done, it happens alot that now im scared to apologize cuz ik ill do it again, its hard but im trying my best, hopefully ill get better at this asap
This sounds a lot like my brother (INTP) >__< Ti-dom way of getting stressed
That's why I'm afraid of ISTP
@Sora Uzumaki The fact that you're (1) acknowledging your behavior, and (2) feel remorse is a good sign. ISTPs are highly efficient people. So I have no doubt that you'll self-correct and improve. But you'll need to humble yourself and apologize. Admit to the ppl you've hurt that you're working on this flaw and are grateful for their patience. Even ask them what you could have done better. YOU GOT THIS.--INTJ
As an INFP I totally agree, I feel overwhelmed in stress situations and I cant have To do lists, because it makes me anxious all the time. Amazing video
There is a solution
Have a open and closed to do list
The open one are things you should do but aren't as important and you'll never be able to finish the open list
The closed one are things you have to do and make it as small as possible
@@Jaxan-dq2jy I will try it, thanks for advice
Same
I tested ISFP on 16personalities but INTJ on Cloverleaf, and was confused as to why this could be. But I think Frank just nailed why I could be an INTJ at the end of the video, as well as pointing out a serious weakness I think will actually help me a lot. Amazing, thank you
I just found the video on personality families, cool! Apparently sfp and ntj are "related"!
As an INTJ, I created an excellent list of places to do internships, wrote great application letters for all of them, and I missed the deadlines while doing all this lol
This has happened with me too like always. I wrote an entire application and then realized deadline is over...😂
@@vendingmachine25 and so there is nothing to stress about 😅
SAME😂😂😂💔
As an ENTJ student currently under a lot of stress, this basically described me right now.
As an Intp, I don't see myself at all in what he said. I'm actually doing the opposite. When I'm stressed, I doubt everything and I'm really easy to convince. I will also try to find distractions and one of them might be focusing on friends.
He brought up the inner circle part. Where they are called upon to validate. Cannot say for sure, but there may be something there.
I see. Ofc everyone is different. I'm an infj. When I'm under stress I overindulge in sensory pleasures. What Frank said resonated with me but that's not all :)
Great commercial for Cloverleaf! 😂 Yeah, as an INFJ I get too mentical, and ignore the physical realm during stress. But, eventually I come back to reality. Thanks for not being too pedantic in your explanations!😸✌️
Frank James does the best commercials. Thanks for checking out Cloverleaf.
I'm an infp and when I'm stressed there're thousands of things flying through my mind which need to be done, like "I have to wash the floors, do groceries, make dinner" and so on, endlessly, until I feel like it's all too much and I'll never be able to do all of this bc it's so tiring and difficult and... Ordinary. Ordinary things are hard to cope with bc they're repetitive all the time and I have like a "straining" feeling in my chest when I have such thoughts. Idk how to explain it, at such times even washing the floors is a big deal, I constantly think: "I have to do it properly and NOW, how am I supposed to have my own home and family and my husband will leave me if I don't do it the right way and then my children will think less of me and my future home will be dirty and it's so hard and I'll screw my entire life" etc. And then I'd glance at my favourite fantasy book by chance and start replaying the story in my head all the while standing with a dripping brush in the middle of the room, having forgotten my previous concern because who cares about ordinary things? They're so boring anyway🤭
INTP - yes, and for me it is not a bad reaction, I will try to explain, Frank! Normally I find it hard to act, I like to think and consider all options for a long time and I am eager to hear other peoples' opinions in order to have more data to process and analyze. In a stressful situation (and I don't mean a long-term situation when I am likely to be paralysed, I mean immediate danger/crisis) I act. I aways know instantly what is the best solution and I want to act accordingly at once, not to analyse more as usual. (Sometimes the solution is best just because it is there and I need to act quickly and use what I've got). So when I am with a group of people and they question my solution and they want to waste precious time on further discussion I am frustrated and yes I may say it's dumb or simply that it doesn't make sense, it's wrong. In the end if they don't agree, whenever possible I will part ways with the group and use my solution instead of trying to convince anyone. If I cannot part ways, well, I may be very confrontational, much more than usual. If it is not a group problem I would push others away as you said, bc they are wasting my time making me listen to their advise when for once I want to act not think. But in this case maybe I wouldn't say it's dumb, I would say don't talk to me right now
I'm the same way about people questioning my opinion on something when stressed "my God you are an idiot why tf would you think that would work" then I end up trying to leave or end up not helping out much with the idea the other person suggested but I help a little because if I don't I feel useless (istp)
I agree with you, especially when doing team work, when im under stress, it's a nightmare. I can't accept other ppl's opinion/idea just becuz i think it's dumb idea (I can't tolerate when im under stress basically) and since I'm an introvert, it's kinda hard to explain my idea to ppl so i always ended up doing the idea on my own then I'll explain it to them :v
I love how 99% of INTP comments are the size of the Bible
As an istp- i'm not reading allat 😂
@@turtleqqqq well, a mans gotta elaborate
Your videos are always so accurate. As an ISTJ (that fluxes between istj & istp) I feel so seen. I always become extremely cold to people when I feel upset and tend to unintentionally hurt their feelings when I’m just being honest
Spot on (INFP). I'm actually planning on going to therapy for stress management, it's too incapacitating.
ENFP here! I had too many situations where I refused to see the simplest solution. it always brought me to the point where I over complicated things and got stressed even more because my solution was too complex and didn’t solve anything anyway. And after my OUT of the box solution didn’t work I would choose to surrender and choose the simple one (no matter how much I didn’t want to). I failed so many times with my overcomplicated ideas, wasted so much more time and nerves with them, that it made me learn to lessen the pressure on myself and on a necessity to act out of the box. I accepted that a simple solution can be considered “creative” as well. THAT made my life so much easier ever since, I swear!
INFJ- stress is 3 ways for me. 1 i either use it as fuel to be motivated to get what is stressing me out done. 2 i either stop stressing because its not worth it 3 i can stop thinking about going threw scenarios on how to fix the stress 10 billion different ways and get stressed i do not control fixing it. This shuts me down and i become very very lazy / ghost
As an ENFJ, I can kind of relate..but usually I don't go around and tell them my problem right away (for the deep prob). Bcs I don't want to burden anyone but sometimes I just can't hold it and burst. My stress won't go away until I tell my friends (as u said, for them to solve it or help me out idk 😭) but sometimes it's stressing me out that I'm stressing ppl too 😭😂
As an INTJ, I’ve also noticed I’ll unhealthily indulge in my inferior function Extraverted Sensing when I’m stressed. I’ll go on food/drug/music/TV binges, using the sensory experiences to escape from reality (and live in Introverted Intuition realm) than actually looking around me and solving the problem.
I'm such an accurate INTJ. Everything was right about how I handle such situations lol. I laughed a lot.
This is a phenomenal explanation of every type. I have observed this happen to at least one person in nearly every pair you mentioned.
Frank, how do you always manage to describe me perfectly? I thought I was an INFP, and my room and closet are both a huge mess... and my bathroom 😂 As well as everything else you mentioned! I look forward to you coming out with these videos every single week, thank you! ~ INFJ
As an ENFP currently under stress, can confirm this is so true. I have even once tried to Lucid Dream in order to study while dreaming😹
Omg being an ENFJ I can totally relate. During stressful situations I do tend to make others super stressed out because I tell then about it, but then people get stressed bcs of me and then I feel guilty and get stressed even more. It’s a vicious cycle, that’s why I learn to avoid stress before this happens. :D
I can see a huge difference in two types of situations with me (INFJ):
For daily stressful situations that Frank mentioned in the video, I will act exactly like that. I will show at least three notes on my computer and cellphone to organize and plan things for the next weeks, but I will delay starting things over till the last minute.
But for highly stressful situations like real danger, that type of moment something inside your head presses the crisis button, red alert AAAAAAOOOOOOO siren, it feels like my Ni gives hand to Se under the order of a fakeTe. I will be cold and logical as an iceberg and will take a sequence of actions without even thinking, just by guts, and will keep in this mood until the danger passes away.
I said that I'm a lot like Zenitsu when he sleeps and be really pragmatic. I will be in mood 1 complaining about how terrible it is until the stress reaches an unbearable level and I enter into this mood 2, just like him
Isfp here! And that whole bit about how we handle stress is ME literally *right now.* I am stressed out right now and I deal with anxiety and bouts of depression. Being around other people is the last thing I wanna do. I wish I could take leave from work (the major cause of my stress) to decompress and focus on my interests. I love my job, but it’s chaotic right now (I’m probably catastrophising it but it’s too much for me) I feel like I’m balancing a lot at work and not giving enough productive attention to my personal life.
I was dealing with a stressful friendship situation tonight, so I really needed this video. Thankyou so much Frank. ❤️
As an ENFJ, I definitively agree with what he said about how ENFJs show soo much emotion and stress other people out in order to get help or advice in a stressful situation. I hate to feel like I’m on the spot, and I have to find a solution super fast. Once I get someone else’s opinion, then I can relax and deal with the situation more comfortably. -Picture the scene in Tangled when Rapunzel is freaking out about leaving the tower.🤣
As a typically stressed out student ENFP, I turn on long playlists of music I have never listened to before to satisfy my NE while actually getting whatever it was done. It has been really helping me focus without the excuse of I'm bored so I'm going to do something else instead.
I’ve changed over the years. I started as an INTJ, then INTP, and now I’m definitely EN-something-something. Probably FP, but I don’t feel like I can say with certainty. So I’m never really sure which person to relate to, but the good news is that I’ve had a crazy life and probably wouldn’t relate to anyone anyway.
I'm an ENTJ, and I can confirm that when I get stressed about *anything* I will start snapping at *everybody* who I think ought to be doing something different than what they are doing at the moment, irregardless of whether they are connected to my stressor. This often leads to hurt feelings on their parts, not least because I have the assertiveness and verbal skills to be an unintentional bully.
In different situations I have handled stress differently. As a kid, the usual way was to supress it and solve it on my own without mentioning it to people around me all the meanwhile paying attention to what needs to be done in order for me to actually be helpful. Nowadays, it varies. Since my mom has been ill ever since I was 8, I have cultivated fears related to her situation that have kept my mind on a leash. Having to face the worst outcome according to my previous state of mind, I am starting to consider different elements and why we tend to circumvent difficult topics in regards to health and death. In order to handle stress, the dominant and inferior function need to start collaborating to the best of their abilities. My dad handles the situation by constantly leaving the house for a walk and thinking about things in such state. I usually need to "receive" information from different sources in regards to different topics, then go for a walk and process all that calmly on my own.
I came here to have a good time, but honestly I'm feeling attacked right now. I was ready to comment (based on the title) we, INTP's, just don't handle stress. But you proved you know more about me than my own family.
INFJ here, hearing how I handle stress made me feel stressed 😂 I have so much going on that I juggle at once that 100% the smaller things like cleaning up my room gets set to the lowest priority, even hanging out with friends if I don’t feel I have the time for it, which makes me stressed cause I feel like I should have the time but then I feel too selfish if I take that time for myself and not spend time with friends, it’s a whole cycle 😢
I really liked the explanations vs the usual acting out. I do love the acting out, but this felt like a nice lesson that made sense. I 100% identified with mine :)
ENTP here. Last time I lost a job I was in panic mode for 2 weeks completely focused on creatively coming up with all the worst cases that could happen, especially conflicts with other people I depended on. Studying a semester to buy time to find my next job ended up being a good idea, but otherwise things turned out pretty good.
(ENTP) fortune favors the bold. Not sure why but our weak suit seams to benefit us almost as much as our strong suit. I too got annoyed, hit a low point. Decided it was time to change... ended up in a much better job for it. Lesser mortals seem to actually... suffer from their weak suits. (Halfway joking there)
@@HerKnightable well, scaring myself into a panic over things that hadnt yet become a problem is not something I would call an advantage haha. But I might be misunderstanding you too.
@@KarlOlofsson It is SO easy to get into a groove, but things have a way of working out if you can find the opportunity that no one else can see. Notice that I said it benefits us... not that it is fun for us. The point I described was realizing that I had spent ten years working for a dead-end job that was by people above me attempting to sabotage it and punished upward mobility by randomly firing middle management. That was a decade I realized was wasted. To SEIZE the opportunity I had to work in a factory doing the same mindless task for three years thanks to Covid, and then had to gamble it all away on a chance that was not a guarantee when everyone around me kinda thought I was wrong. Then, after spending an entire summer being rejected on applications I got the job I wanted and now make more than ever. Again.... it DID benefit me. It sucked... but was worth it.
@@HerKnightable a key difference is that you were in control, I wasn't ;)
@@KarlOlofsson I was not in control. I made things up as I went. It is the ENTJs who it actually went according to plan. I moved forward with the confidence that I am awesome. (ENTP-A)
Oh my, you just explained me very well, being an Intj, I definitely am I intj, yet sometimes I think I am a intp because I am so controlled in my mental universe as well as hobbies and daily schedules with absolutely no leeway, yet when it comes to stuff like just doing the laundry, or other small tasks I don’t even bother with them when under stress.
Oh the ISFP bit was so on point for my (ISFP) recent struggle dealing with stress at work. Ended up quitting because that's what felt right despite how logical it would be not to do that lol The ISFP trap of jumping to follow what feels right even if it's a terrible idea wins every time with me, especially once it gets stressful.
This sounds familiar. I quit my job during an extremely stressful exam season. 😅
As INTJ... Yeah this is true. Thank you for the tip FJ. Next time I think I could help myself become less stress or deal with it if I focus on reality a bit.
I was like "nah the way I handle stress has changed so much, Frank won't get me this time" and then he hits me with the procrastination card and I'm like crap he got me😭
This was very informative! Spot on about INFP (me) and INTJ (my husband). Personally when I get very stressed about something that I’m not confident about or feel powerless about, I avoid it and hope it disappears. Of course that doesn’t solve anything! But if I feel confident or like I can handle it, I tackle it. But the story of my life is having a ton of ideas or feeling like I have a thousand things that I need to be tending to, so I feel overwhelmed and therefore don’t focus on anything really… or I’m scattered and don’t finish things. It’s like I need a life coach who can help me focus 😆
the new word "menticle" should be added to the vocabulary, I LOVED IT!
All true. I'm an isfp and my husband is an estj. This always makes for interesting/frustrating times when we are stressed. He will all of a sudden be on me about everything "we" need to do. I'm like , "are you kidding me, now I'm more stressed and overwhelmed, leave me alone to think. " we've been married more than 15 years, so at least we know what to expect and how to handle it now.
As an INTP, this is so accurate it's legit terrifying.
Finally, thanks to all Frank James' videos, I now get to understand I'm actually an ESTJ and not an ISTJ, unlike what I've been thinking for tne years since my first MBTI test
Thanks a lot Frank.That helps a lot to understand how (why) I function.
As an infj, when i feel ashamed of something i did i try to think about someone who did the same shameful thing i did so i feel less lonely and ashamed
True I do the same
@@Missmagazinebura lmao i thought i was the only one doing that
I was INFJ, read a lot of stoic philosophy which offers advice for control and stress handling... it changed me.
Nowadays every test says i'm INTJ
...interesting that you put them both in the same category, because i can see an enormous difference
YES, I’VE BEEN CURIOUS ABOUT THIS TOPIC, THANK YOUUU
I think he already made a video about it or at least brushed it... not sure if it was a recent video or YT algrithm recommending an old video or was that someone else... not the only channel that does 16 personalities.
That nugget of info about how Infjs + Intjs are different in organisation than other judging types was veryy clarifying! The way they are mentally, spiritually organised but can let the material surroundings fall to chaos at times due to inferior Se 😶
11:47 As an ENTP, this helped a lot. Thanks for helping me understand myself a little more :)
Hi fellow Ne-Ti-Fe-Si!
@@samantha2254 Hi, I was actually just trying to remember the cognitive functions, thanks 🥲
ISFJ here - totally agree! I love to dig in deep in processes to understand hows and whys, and when the kaka hits the oscillating fan, I just go into overdrive of "Make a plan, stick to the plan - always deliver!" (Thank you "Storks") That stability really helps me cope with the stress, but I get so stuck in a rut. My extroverted intuition is already weak, so when I'm seriously burnt out, I cannot even think up any brilliant ideas to get us out of the mess we're in. I'm just maintaining what we've done in the past and am blinded to the next phase. I didn't understand that until watching this video, so thank you for the illumination, FJ! :)
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Facts
As an ENFP, I cannot confirm this, as I seem to (almost) never experience stress. I dunno if its healthy or not but it sure makes life easier!
i'm an enfp too and rarely stress! could be our general optimism and go with the flow mindsets, closest thing to stress that i'd say i get is getting overwhelmed with details, unwelcome Si overload i bet
As an INFP that used to be an INFJ I feel as though INFPs are more concerned about being morally right and care more about everyones (including their own) emotions while INFJs care more about understanding and planning the situation so that it doesn’t get out of hand but not doing considering the reality that not everything will go to plan also they to care so much about others in their life that they forget to do every-day simple thing
I used to be a lot more concerned about other people, so much so that I would lose my sense of self and would just focus on pleasing others (a people pleaser) but now as an INFPI feel a lot more connected to myself, I can understand my emotions so much that I can control my conscious in a healthy, internal way.
My closet is a mess, my brain knows where everything is. Once closet is organized, everything is lost.
Great video !!! I’m an ENFJ and I found the Fe dom section so relatable and insightful. I never realised that I feel so insecure about decisions because I feel like I should be able to rely on my Ti. But Fe wants that external validation because it doesn’t think it can trust it’s own Ti judgement. I also feel like I have to work stuff out on my own because I feel like I should be able to use my inferior function but I guess I can’t lol. You think you’ve learnt everything about cognitive functions and then you learn something new. Thank you !!
14:47 As an INFJ who was mistyped as both INFP and INTP, I can confirm I refused to believe I was a J because I am too messy.
I'm an INFJ too and my life's a mess atm🙈😅
@@belavera994 Same here as an infj. I've been trapped in an awful situation going on for over 3 years now. I feel so alone and miserably depressed. You're not alone. I feel like this world society wasn't built for an infj at all. They want followers instead.
You know, I always imagined Ni doms to be super unorganized (not in the mind, but in the physical plane) since they have demon Se 😂
I didn't register that they're J types and J types are said to be orderly and stuff
@@justins3810 It should be worth noting... every type kinda feels like it doesn't mesh well with their type. Some hate how chaotic themes seem. Feelers feel like the world is driven by cold logic. Logic feels like there is WAY too much emotion driving things. Ironically, they are all needed or the world would collapse. Really, the whole "J" type being organized only applies well for the extroverts for the most part. You guys just judge yourself a wee bit too hard.
On the other-hand, my type (ENTP) is the one who knows by nature society cannot be built for people who who's instincts are to tear it down or defy it. 😂
@@HerKnightable why is that funny?
I like all your vids, but this is FANTASTIC, and absolutely spot in, at least for myself as an INTJ, and also describing my ISTJ hubby. Will be rewatching!!
As an ISFP I do isolate myself to think, but not only about my feelings. About what's the most logical option too. And when I'm stressed out I kinda turn off the feelings, trying to be the most objective in the situation as I can. But I hate when someone is giving me their opinions about it, suggesting solutions, when they're not me, they're not in my situation and I just HAVE TO do it my own way. So yeah, kinda accurate. Oh, and I'm telling about my problems to friends, but when it doesn't bother me so much anymore
Yeah that's so ISFP. Doesn't matter how good, logical, and well-informed someone's advice is, if it's not what feels right to us we're just never gonna take that advice lol
@@jijitters fr💀🤣
"...will feel pressured by those to-dos in such a way they might be ignore them or put them off until they become a huge problem." Yes. Perfectly describe why my life start to falling apart.
Great video as always Frank!
Its okay FJ, as an ISTP, I understand your Charlie reference, probably the only one time I will understand a reference considering I don't follow memes.
And if you're wondering...yes I bit people when I was younger too.
Haha I used to throw stuff at people when I was a kid, like a girl sitting in the same sandbox as me assumes she can play with one of my cars just because I'm not currently playing with it, nope that gets you sand thrown in your face!
Dear Frank,
I'm an ENTJ. I speak on behalf of all ENTJs to say that, while we appreciate all of your content, the fact that you don't timestamp each type in the video is maddening, as I have no choice but to watch all your content to get to the parts that are relevant to me. Do what you will with this information, but know you're causing stress to the ENTJs because we can't be efficient in this regard.
Cheers,
Your local ENTJ
My mom is an ESTJ, and this describes her to a T. In fact, stressing out like this is her normal mode. And spot on mentioning that these types tend to bring their stresses home with them, because she does exactly that. :p She always thinks she needs to do EVERYTHING (nobody asks her to), and that it's up to her alone to ever get things done because she wants things done a certain way. Relaxing doesn't exist in her vocabulary. We have to walk on eggshells around her.
My brother is an Estj ... yeah very similar to that
We always fight (I'm an infj )
What's your personality type?
That second part about doing everything herself sounds like my mom (ESFJ). Also bringing the stress home. And she gets emotional when we tell her to take a break.
-ESTJ
For me, I take on all the work of the group project when other people don't care about deadlines or the stuff they send me is wrong or missing a lot. I am not risking a bad grade because of someone else. And I get pretty grumpy with those people when they slag of while I pull a week of all-nighters.
Don't talk to me in that time. Offer me some food and drinks and leave me alone. 👍🏻
My mom is ESTJ too and exactly like your mom. I’m INTP so she’s like pushing me the hell to do stuff in reality.
@@Me-meow77 My sister is INFJ and with my ESTJ mother they always fight. It’s total chaos when INFJ trying to fix feeling problems to ESTJ.
@@kunogi09midori
Lol yeah so true
Are you close to your infj sister tho ?
I never been close to intp so i wonder how it's like
@@Me-meow77 Excluding our relations with the ESTJ, we’re kind of chill I guess. We have our own world, because we’re sort of misfits lol. Among the feeling types I guess INFJs are quite comfortable to be around for an INTP. I guess she helps develop my inferior Fe, I have no idea what help I did to her though. Maybe she’s relieved she’s not as weird as I am.
As an INTJ, WOW, okay, this explains ALOT. Honestly, Frank, i can't thank u enough for this. Its very helpful.
As always, so true it's a little creepy. As an INTP, whenever I'm stressed I'll completely reject everything anyone else has to say, and then I'll catch myself and wonder why I did that when in all honesty they were also being perfectly logical so I probably should have been more open-minded yadda yadda. And this only gets worse as my stress level goes up.
Interestingly, after the incident I'll often switch to my Fe and just vent to whichever friend I think of first. (Yes, this INTP has friends. Shocking.) I asked them to say if I was being annoying and so far they haven't complained, but they could just be lying to spare my feelings. :(
OMG you are spot on for ENTJ! My stress doesn't go away unless I take things off of my list. If a person is being wishy washy and holding me up, I get pissed at them. This includes people holding up my plans which is why I take charge in planning things. I've gotten " better" by not relying on people for some things (I did put better in quotes🤣) or by having a solid game plan.
Same! - ENTJ
(ENTP) my brain shows me how to manipulate most circumstances, but in my experience, I have come to start keeping "S" types... particularly the XSXJ types in my circles because while they rarely have much interesting to add for me; they tend to pull through when I need them most.
@@HerKnightable Stressful weak is coming up? Can't leave my company/friends hanging... If it needs to be done, it gets done.
-ESTJ
@@cottoncandy1860 And that is why I love types like yours. It might be difficult to get most of the sensor types to see the world of possibility in my mind's eyes but when you have no dwarves to call upon in hard times a good ESTJ is pretty much the same thing just less obvious.
@@HerKnightable Thank you. I try to get your world, but it gets so tiring after a long talk of what could be....😅
This is so true! I'm INTJ and i make a lot of projections to many different situations to see how can i handle the current situation in the best way i conclude possible even circumvent it if necessary as i try so hard not to accumulate my tasks and work at all, but unfortunately this is mostly at the expense of my personal relationships or mental peace and serenity. Health gets thrown out of the window immediately (sleeping, eating, looking after my body.. etc)
same, i feel like i focus on mostly only 1-2 *mayb* 3 things a day, everything else gets sent to the *future me will take care of this* folder, then one day i wake up in the middle of a house fire and im thinking how the hell did that happen, o right its been 7 months since i even looked at anything besides my monitor or bed pillow