What DATING MISTAKES Do Each of the 16 Personalities Make?

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  • Опубліковано 7 вер 2024
  • Taking a look at common dating mistakes that each of the 16 Myers-Briggs Personality Types make.
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    The 16 Personalities of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator are INFJ, INTJ, INFP, ISFP, INTP, ISTP, ISFJ, ISTJ, ENFP, ENTP, ESTP, ESFP, ENTJ, ESTJ, ENFJ, ESFJ
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,3 тис.

  • @ellybean7354
    @ellybean7354 2 роки тому +3421

    Me who’s never dated: Hmmm, yes, very relatable and accurate

    • @trinaq
      @trinaq 2 роки тому +46

      Agreed, since my SE is so low, I struggle with being in the moment and overthinking, which is probably why I've never gotten far with dating.

    • @scabbarae
      @scabbarae 2 роки тому +57

      INTJs unite!

    • @Quetzalcoatl-Dragon_97
      @Quetzalcoatl-Dragon_97 2 роки тому +12

      I wish I'd never dated anyone.

    • @fairyfellermasterstroke
      @fairyfellermasterstroke 2 роки тому +17

      I mean, it actually is, I can see myself acting that way in all areas in life. Too much me, me, gonna be the best version of me, nevermind, I fucked up, let's isolate forever... oh, damn, how does one become the best version of themselves while isolating forever 😭
      Well, at least I manage to be pretty chill around friends 🤔 and the people my best friend introduced me to a few days ago also seem pretty chill
      My biggest dilemma is how to start talking to people I've met but never talked to before - that is my classmates
      Like when I see people interact I feel like I'm not human enough, it's like, as a normal human being I should already know a lot about this area of life, and normal people usually invest their time in that area of life and it's too late for me to start that too, cause people usually start getting 'human' experience more early on in life so if I went out there everyone would just wonder what's wrong with me, but now that I think about it, if there was something so really, really wrong with me, then people would kinda come and help me (as annoying as it sounds, everyone needs to start at some level), but if it wasn't then that would mean I'm able to handle stuff by myself and I could just keep going and it would be better then me just lying around...
      Ok, that was personal, just felt like I had to talk to myself, cause when I try to write a diary in my own language I've got no idea what to say (another thing that doesn't feel very human like, how come it's easier to express myself in a foreign language, like there's just more fitting words and none of them sound cringe in english)
      Bye
      Edit: Also, can someone tell me how do you make text sound not so fast

    • @heet69690
      @heet69690 2 роки тому +9

      Same bro and I am 16!

  • @MelodicQuest
    @MelodicQuest 2 роки тому +2000

    Frank to the other personalities: "Here's some things you don't realize you're doing"
    Frank to INFPs & ISFPs: "You know what you did."

  • @lunakondo7050
    @lunakondo7050 2 роки тому +609

    INFP here, and on top of the ridiculously high standards I set for myself in general, the biggest mistake I made in my first and only relationship (so far) was to idealize the person and the relationship itself... even though I knew through constant introspection that things were not as "perfect" as I had wished they were.
    All in all though, it was an interesting way to learn more about myself and my patterns! If I ever meet someone again, I have to remind myself to be less conflict avoidant and have the courage to talk about the "bad" and the "ugly" too, not just the "good".
    (and to let go if needed, instead of clinging to the image I have of my partner!)
    Or, you know, keep on loving my adored fictional characters! 😂😅

    • @desiree8329
      @desiree8329 2 роки тому +47

      THIS! When I saw the title, I thought our mistake would be that we idealize our partner too much, with the 'rose-colored glasses' and all. But I do hold myself up to high standards too...gotta keep up with the fictionalized fantasy version of myself, ya know!

    • @NoopyP
      @NoopyP 2 роки тому +9

      omg are we the same person

    • @yordvandamme
      @yordvandamme 2 роки тому +21

      My most beloved ex is an INFP... They were always so hard on themselves, refusing to do anything about it, complaining when I gave advice on it, feeling worse when I let it hurt me. But whenever I tried to leave, I was too special and important! Couldn't leave, couldn't stay, couldn't fix anything about the relationship either. Commitment to either being in or out of a relationship was impossible.

    • @jaironracsothesilentninjas9562
      @jaironracsothesilentninjas9562 2 роки тому +5

      YES I get you so much

    • @danika9411
      @danika9411 2 роки тому +3

      ENFP, but I second that 😂

  • @antomalave
    @antomalave 2 роки тому +800

    1:58 - estp & esfp - you don’t date with intent
    3:20 - enfj & esfj - you’re too focused on what the other person wants
    4:49 - entj & estj - you’ve got a saviour complex
    6:03 - isfj & istj - you’re most likely to overlook red flags
    7:33 - enfp & entp - you’re avoiding commitment
    9:14 - intp & istp - you look too cool and disinterested/ you’re not very open about your feelings
    11:08 - infp & isfp - you are too critical of yourself
    13:19 - infj & intj - you don’t search hard enough

    • @ancelgeorge547
      @ancelgeorge547 2 роки тому +9

    • @ballarichakraborty8031
      @ballarichakraborty8031 2 роки тому +15

      I am estj and i actually have this problem.I usually attracted to the insecure and broken people. Idk why 😶

    • @nightmarefury9308
      @nightmarefury9308 2 роки тому +9

      @@ballarichakraborty8031Bro I'm INTJ and relate to both you guys and my type. Weakness and dependency attracts me 😶...has always attracted me.

    • @ballarichakraborty8031
      @ballarichakraborty8031 2 роки тому +7

      @@nightmarefury9308 I think we are in trouble because i am telling you this things doesn't ends well 😂

    • @nikkinorman4254
      @nikkinorman4254 2 роки тому +3

      Enfj so sad but true, it's about what WE Want.. not them... I really needed to hear this 😭

  • @amiroarrr
    @amiroarrr 2 роки тому +273

    I am an INFJ who met my INTJ partner online 8 years ago. Without ever meeting (since we were living on opposite ends of the world), we intuitively decided that we are meant for each other. After 5 years of long distance to save some cash, we got married. With our powers combined, we won the dating game by "planning a bunch" HAHAHA. Sometimes, you can get lucky :)

    • @alexeysaranchev6118
      @alexeysaranchev6118 2 роки тому +31

      Sounds like a love story I'd watch a movie about.

    • @manny7945
      @manny7945 2 роки тому +17

      I want this sooo baaad as an INFJ

    • @ClubRipley
      @ClubRipley 2 роки тому

      Same situation with the difference that because of external reasons we broke up after 3 years, a couple of months before I finally moved to Germany T.T

    • @momijigari_
      @momijigari_ 2 роки тому +1

      As an INFJ I've always found myself too easy going with an INTJ in terms of love, although sometimes it's hard when the feeling vs thinking thing strikes but yeah, I think it could happen and it's so beautiful, and from my experience the most precious thing I've ever had with someone were always with INTJs

    • @rayhan354
      @rayhan354 2 роки тому

      I wonder if I could do the same thing (or even better) as an ISFP

  • @adelina-805
    @adelina-805 2 роки тому +568

    As an INTJ I totally agreed on “not searching hard enough”, and just expecting the perfect person to appear out of nowhere, but I also struggle with being overly critical with people; If I can’t imagine myself being with them long term I just deem it as being a waste of our time to pursue. When I see flaws in people I find myself working out the future issues and relationship problems in my head and then just deciding that the relationship would be too much of a headache to bother with anyway. I think INTJs tend to have unrealistically high expectations and aren’t willing to do the monotonous dirty work of relationships.
    Unless you’re LITERALLY PERFECT, I think I’d prefer to be alone.

    • @IzzyKawaiichi
      @IzzyKawaiichi 2 роки тому +79

      Yeah, but I wouldn't want someone perfect either because then I'd feel like I'm not good enough for them... It's an impossible scale.

    • @alessandrasilva4086
      @alessandrasilva4086 2 роки тому +45

      As an INTJ I totally agree, I have really high standards for others and for myself, and the process of dating and getting to know people who don't suit my ideal of future is painful. And I hate physical contact

    • @evrosidwa2801
      @evrosidwa2801 2 роки тому +10

      @@IzzyKawaiichi Maybe they are good at everything except one thing that you are good at and you are okay with helping them out with this one thing.

    • @kaydenbreak4283
      @kaydenbreak4283 2 роки тому +1

      Totally true and agree 💯

    • @IzzyKawaiichi
      @IzzyKawaiichi 2 роки тому +8

      @@evrosidwa2801 That's not a bad theory, except the only things I'm really good at are English and common sense, and if they don't speak English and don't have common sense, it ain't gonna work. I mean, I would try to learn their language... but my family won't, and I'd prefer to have someone who can communicate with them not only in general but especially in case of emergencies. But common sense... you either have it or you don't.

  • @darknight0147
    @darknight0147 2 роки тому +213

    It hurts how accurate the INFP/ISFP section was. As an INFP, I’ve literally felt like I did such a bad job on a date that I felt guilty and sabotaged my chances even more by reaching out to apologize to the person I took on the date.

    • @wallearne2445
      @wallearne2445 2 роки тому +20

      ye i feel you . remeber don't worry, be happy. smiling makes you attractive.

    • @mewos838
      @mewos838 2 роки тому +3

      🥲🤧 relatable

    • @PalestineTruth
      @PalestineTruth 2 роки тому +11

      It's okay bro just remember we're all little creatures compared to this whole huge universe 🌌

    • @mimiloriya5436
      @mimiloriya5436 2 роки тому +1

      but I would totally do that TT

    • @theonlyoneash
      @theonlyoneash Рік тому +1

      Hun 😭😭😭😭😭😭

  • @ceilinh6004
    @ceilinh6004 2 роки тому +134

    I actively worked to cultivate my "Don't even think about asking me out" vibe through high school.
    It worked.
    -INTP

    • @edi0157
      @edi0157 2 роки тому +7

      I didnt and still nobody approached me (well, I mean there was a girl that talked to me but she 100% never had that kind of intent), ah well. Why actively try to repel people though, surely the small chance that you meet somebody you like is worth not kicking away and it isnt like many people take a chance on talking to us nerds anyway?-ISTJ

    • @ceilinh6004
      @ceilinh6004 2 роки тому +12

      @@edi0157 I went to high school with the same people that I hated in elementary school. I knew none of them were worth dating.
      I eventually married a fellow INTP that I met at university. We were both each other's first date.

    • @edi0157
      @edi0157 2 роки тому +1

      @@ceilinh6004 ah fair enough then. I I wish I could meet another introvert thinker (maybe not ISTP, those adventures scare me) to fall in love with too (at least that is what my imagination says...) but tbh she would need to materialise in my bedroom so we could actually meet lol. Also I am in a really self-doubting phase right now (in university myself) so it probably wouldnt work anyway

    • @andreaplatz_yt4086
      @andreaplatz_yt4086 2 роки тому

      Same. Although the person that liked me, wich I found very confusing at the time, told me that with an ending frase of 'You probably don't like me but I think you should know'.
      Curiously enough, we eventually ended up separating. Some people told me it was because I don't hug/kiss/hold hands 24/7, even though I specifically told them to ask me if they want affection.

    • @privatepo5876
      @privatepo5876 2 роки тому

      Ah the reason why I can’t meet my compatible soul mate - ENTJ

  • @pablozanoto5801
    @pablozanoto5801 2 роки тому +324

    I'm an INFP who has never dated but who had "admirers", so to speak. And I related to the message. I was thinking for a long time about why someone would like me, because it didn't make sense to me. Even more a guy and a girl, that is, two people. I thought it was impossible one, let alone two. Unfortunately I had to reject them (indirectly) because I don't feel that kind of love. In the end, the guy never spoke to me again, but the girl is my best friend now. I don't know why I wrote this, it's not important to anyone, but here it is. Thanks for the possible attention.

    • @allisonlargo7605
      @allisonlargo7605 2 роки тому +42

      Even in your comment you get nervous about writing and second-guess it 😆 My daughter is an INFP and always gets so freaked out when people show her attention, but secretly it is what she craves the most. I loved your comment and think it is not weird at all that you shared. That is what the comment section is for. (Do not feel weird about this reply 🤣)

    • @moradkof1
      @moradkof1 2 роки тому +12

      Im an infp too and im stil single even tho i have 34yo now, and somehow i feel related to your comment

    • @nechego_delat
      @nechego_delat 2 роки тому +22

      This is the most INFP thing I've ever read. Do you struggle to accept complements too?

    • @princesserika9899
      @princesserika9899 2 роки тому +16

      @@allisonlargo7605 I also feel weirded out and shocked when people give me attention, it's like you're trying to be modest and in denial about it or like say that you don't deserve it but you know that you're moved by it

    • @It_is_Okay_to_be_Sad
      @It_is_Okay_to_be_Sad 2 роки тому +13

      I am an INFP tooo... And understand you... I also wrote a whole ass comment about my perception of love and how I have not discovered myself or the meaning of love. But I thought I was kinda oversharing and nobody cares anyways so I deleted it 😅

  • @jinxxtea5441
    @jinxxtea5441 2 роки тому +96

    The fact that I’m an INTP in a relationship w a ENFP seems like the most unlikely couple due to the fact that ENFPs get cold feet easily due to the fear of commitment and INTPs come off as uninterested lmao but perhaps it makes sense bc ENFP is chasing INTP their whole relationship to get their attention in every way possible bc it prolly doesn’t feel like INTP wants commitment in the first place, so I guess that fear kinda goes out the window, right? Moral of the story is - if you have a crippling fear of commitment just date an INTP/ISTP, you’ll be too preoccupied with worrying they’re not interested (when they are interested) to even focus on the fact that you’re terrified of commitment, lmaooo.

    • @ceilinh6004
      @ceilinh6004 2 роки тому +16

      That doesn't seem weird to me. In my experience, INTPs and ENFPs get along very well. I'm an INTP, and one of my top favourite people is an ENFP.

    • @al738knyh
      @al738knyh 2 роки тому +12

      I'm ENFP, and honestly INTP's are great friends. I have INTP friends and they always make me feel so safe for some reason. Like they make me feel solid (?) if it makes sense.

    • @elizaveta2407
      @elizaveta2407 2 роки тому +2

      lol that's brilliant!

    • @kalduayam1060
      @kalduayam1060 2 роки тому +2

      I'm intp and my friend is enfp and the whole commitment thing is really out the window, haha! we're very much just vibing and chilling all the time it's somehow fun

    • @Maryam-forbia
      @Maryam-forbia Рік тому

      @@ceilinh6004 Agreed!I am an ENFP and I really get along well with INTPs...but not in the context the comment writer made ,as an ENFP 6w7 such behavior and fear would overwhelm me to the degree of hating the person that never apprpaches me first or even try to show me that they care

  • @imagination.junkyard
    @imagination.junkyard 2 роки тому +98

    I've always said I wish I could hand someone a dating resume, get one back, and decide whether or not to date them... FJ hitting the nail on the head here. - an INTJ

    • @chandramaswain6150
      @chandramaswain6150 2 роки тому +14

      Dating resume! Omg that's such a cool thing! Dating experience, strengths, weaknesses, skills definitely, objective for dating at all. Oh this has such potential. It's to the point and it would consume such little time. Absolutely love this idea. *Totally going to imagine a world where this would be the norm, instead of actually going out and meeting real people which involves unpredictable variables* - fellow INTJ.

    • @phoquenahol7245
      @phoquenahol7245 2 роки тому +7

      Dating contracts would be great too.
      -INTJ

    • @saion2390
      @saion2390 2 роки тому +6

      As an INFJ I'd like that too, these finding person business is too taxing for me 🙃

    • @isaymamamoo9469
      @isaymamamoo9469 2 роки тому +1

      Omg I have thought of that before. I was discussing with my mother how there should be check boxes that indicate whether someone has had past trauma/cheated in a relationship on dating apps. That way, we'll be saving much more time 😂

  • @Discordia5
    @Discordia5 2 роки тому +244

    INFP here. I definitely relate to the "Why do they even like me?" part. Although, the opposite sex always seems to like my self-depreciating sense of humor. I can't recall ever having a "bad" date, but that perfectionism stuff does make me crazy nervous beforehand.

  • @themorrigan7702
    @themorrigan7702 2 роки тому +34

    INTJ- Spot on, I just want my soulmate. No wasting my time with dating drama. No on and off bullshit. I want a long term relationship and I want to die in that relationship. That's it. It gets so bad that I make spreadsheets, memos and surveys on maintaining connections, sexual preferences and general preferences. I also made lists of pros and cons for a person I fell in love with. I analysed everything about him to see if I could work a long-term plan with him for my future. I realize I need to relax a bit. I tried it. I went on a date. The second date bailed and the first was also trash. Other guys I talked to started getting ridiculous because they were either flaky, or toxic. I decided that it was a waste of my time and I deleted my profile. It was really hard because I spent money so I didn't have to waste my time swiping for matches. It was all just a waste of time for me. I much prefer going out and forming a genuine connection, although I don't go out much. It's hard. It's really hard.

    • @crow1628
      @crow1628 2 роки тому +3

      Good luck

    • @sash8099
      @sash8099 2 роки тому +4

      Find a NT type or an Enfp.

  • @sugarmagnolia33
    @sugarmagnolia33 2 роки тому +278

    I'm sorry about your loss Frank! Losing a pet is so hard.
    As an ENTP this was so accurate. I want marriage in theory but am terrified of commitment when it actually comes down to it. And I say this as I haven't texted back my crush in like 4 days because I'm anxious about setting up the next date and starting to wonder if we are even compatible. Even though we have great chemistry and I like him! Why am I like this!?!? 😅

    • @flm8580
      @flm8580 2 роки тому +21

      Same. Entp here ignoring my crush's texts and wondering if we're even compatible even tho we're insanely attracted to each other.💀

    • @Brothisisprivate
      @Brothisisprivate 2 роки тому +14

      GIRL !! You’ll never know if she/he’s good for you if you avoid her/him !
      Just jump and you’ll see
      You’ll never come to a conclusion if you stay in your thoughts
      So just ask for another date and you’ll see (- A fellow ENTP)

    • @Brothisisprivate
      @Brothisisprivate 2 роки тому +5

      @@flm8580 same for you, you’ll never know if your crush is good for you if you stay in your thoughts
      The more you see your crush the more you’ll know if he/she’s good for u

    • @al738knyh
      @al738knyh 2 роки тому +9

      This is NE Dom curse for sure! I'm Enfp and I've been struggling with this my whole life. I like a guy, he likes me back, I lose interest. I'm just so scared of commitment. I wanna get married but still it makes me so stressed to even think about it.

    • @revolutionfrommahbed4246
      @revolutionfrommahbed4246 2 роки тому +6

      Hmmm - I generally don’t text back because deep down I know the person I’m avoiding isn’t really that compatible... (Chemistry alone does not equal compatibility 🤷🏼‍♀️) Remember - we pick up on behavior patterns, hidden ticks etc. like nobody’s business. I generally start avoiding guys when I can tell they like me more than I like them - but I don’t want to literally tell them that 🤦🏼‍♀️. When I find someone who is truly compatible, I’m pretty dogged in my response/pursuit. So I think - yes - there’s definitely an element of “Uhg - commitment...” but it’s paired with an uncanny level of discernment at very early stages of engagement with other people. A key reason we refrain from committing is because deep down - we don’t see a future with the person in the first couple dates and where most people would say - “Give it a little time - get to know him/her better...” We can usually say - “Eh - I know enough already 🤣🤣🤣”

  • @cintron3d
    @cintron3d 2 роки тому +25

    INFJ: I went to the mall today, saw a pretty girl and considered saying hello. Then decided that before I even attempt meeting anyone I should spend the next two to three years perfecting myself. Getting in better shape, organizing my apartment, maybe try to buy a house.... Then I figured she's probably too vain or shallow for me and we wouldn't work out anyway so I should just go home and play video games instead.
    Then I see this video and... yeah, I probably needed to hear this.

  • @jacksauce
    @jacksauce 2 роки тому +108

    I’m ENFP and I feel like the biggest challenge I’ve had with dating is getting way too emotionally invested in a person despite barely knowing them. I really care about others, but sometimes I let my ambitions of “starting a happy family with my soul mate” get in the way of actually making sure that a girl and I are fully compatible.

    • @delll372
      @delll372 2 роки тому +12

      spot on. i hope y'all enfp will analyze you two's compatibility more. so that you'll have a smoother happy relationship dynamic

    • @jacksauce
      @jacksauce 2 роки тому +8

      @@delll372 Yeah my relationship with my ex gf was a prime example of this. I said I love you on the third day of knowing her and just a few months in I was talking about what it would look like if we were married and how it would work out. Big mistake looking back🤦🏼‍♂️

    • @Smillasp
      @Smillasp 2 роки тому +6

      @@jacksauce that impulsive enfp-thing, when it comes to love, gets better with age. We love and we learn (sometimes the hard way when it comes to feelings) but we learn! AND we never stop love!! 🤗

    • @lordlevi2749
      @lordlevi2749 2 роки тому

      Idk what u mean babe ! Lol

    • @andreagil547
      @andreagil547 2 роки тому +1

      Another ENFP here agrees

  • @NoobyNuisance
    @NoobyNuisance 2 роки тому +126

    YES! As an INFP, I had to take a break from dating to focus on liking myself more! And now I'm dating again, but I'm over critical about them not liking me back (even though they do). Like "they're talking to so many people, why would they wanna spend time with me?"

    • @NoobyNuisance
      @NoobyNuisance 2 роки тому +14

      The main person I'm dating right now is an ENFJ, and they drive 45 minutes to see me since I don't drive. After watching this, I'm like "huh, good thing I was gonna ask for our next date to be in their town."

    • @erinb9647
      @erinb9647 2 роки тому +3

      Bc they love you 💕💕

    • @avril.227
      @avril.227 2 роки тому +1

      🌸Trust your instincts 🌼

  • @K-Mariposa
    @K-Mariposa 2 роки тому +103

    😂 nailed it Re INFJ.
    I definitely would prefer to instantly meet my soul mate with minimal effort… “one enchanted evening…” style.
    The very thought of doing the research (as you describe it), dating apps and meeting lots of people, makes me retreat to “Yeah. I’m good. Alone and happy to be so!” Even funnier - I actually do have a PhD. So when you said that I lol’d.
    Because there’s research, and then there’s research… 😂

  • @Chealder
    @Chealder 2 роки тому +161

    As an INFP I've learnt to be less self-critical by often asking myself: How would I react if someone else told me this? Would I be as hard to them as I am to myself? I find it easier to be mild to others, and this question has helped me to be mild to myself.
    Also, since most INFPs often feel out of place in society and seem "special", telling yourself you are no better and no worse than others might help too. I have felt that way, partly because it was emphasized during my youth that I was "different". They might've had good intentions, but it turned out damaging me because it felt even harder to connect with my peers.
    We all have strong and weak sides, they just might be on different levels.

    • @coping.nonessentials
      @coping.nonessentials 2 роки тому +7

      Preach 🙌

    • @Ali-MJ
      @Ali-MJ 2 роки тому +13

      Oh my gosh! This is absolutely true! It's like a cage of self-love and self development, but getting you away of some important parts of development.
      How should an INFP/ISFP stop non-stoply thinking special and disconnected from society?!

    • @avril.227
      @avril.227 2 роки тому +10

      Yes! The obvious “your different and weird” growing up is spot on. There is a lid for every pot. Loved your solutions.

    • @Chealder
      @Chealder 2 роки тому +8

      @@Ali-MJ Well, I'm no psychotherapist but I can tell you what has helped me.
      At first I needed to recognise the problem. In my memories, I went back to the situation where someone told me I was special. Then I'd visualise myself stepping in as an adult and telling myself how I should view myself in a healthy way. (In general, I try to decide what a healthy way is by following the advice I'd give someone else with the same problem). If necessary, I'd forgive the person telling me otherwise.
      I've also looked for what is unique in other people and just observe and enjoy it from afar. Then learnt to enjoy it from a closer perspective, in a friendship.
      If appropriate, I'd tell the other person what I enjoy in him/her. This helped me realise other people or no better, no worse than I am and puts me on the same level as they are.
      I've learnt to see myself as part of a group by participating in it. I've found a sport group I feel very comfortable with and I've learnt to enjoy the small talk and the light-hearted humor: It pulls me out of my deep and sometimes moody Fi mind. If I go there with the right expectations, I don't mind having no deep conversations with everyone (which are interesting to have but tiring as well).
      Since I learnt more about the MBTI and really recognise myself as an INFP, I'm focussing on strengthening my Te and Se.
      Te by often thinking 'what would I say if someone else told me this?' and Se by leanring to enjoy the moment, i.e. when I eat my foods, during sports, going outside and taking everything in, etc.
      Long post, sorry, but I hope you can pick a few cherries that'll help you out!

    • @lucilegounon6470
      @lucilegounon6470 2 роки тому +5

      @@Chealder what would I say if someone else told me this + being more present in the moment : specifically the two things I've been working on the most in therapy for a while ! :) Helps a lot! (From an infp)

  • @annmarie_
    @annmarie_ 2 роки тому +67

    Yeah, I'll never do the whole dating profile thing. I leave it up to fate. It's all about happenstance! ~INFJ

    • @loisk3093
      @loisk3093 2 роки тому +18

      Like I just want the perfect person to teleport into my living room

  • @galinayepanchina6443
    @galinayepanchina6443 2 роки тому +76

    As an INFP, I found your description of ISFP/INFP matched my everyday life. I always overanalyse any and all situations, from meeting complete strangers, to talking to close family.

    • @wintertontoday
      @wintertontoday 2 роки тому +7

      Fellow INFP here. One solution i've found for this naturally, is to become so damn busy, that there is zero time for the brain to overanalyze too much anymore. 😅 (Not sure which is worse though!)

    • @kkingzlayer
      @kkingzlayer Місяць тому

      istp. definitly this is so true

  • @ReincarnatedStargazer
    @ReincarnatedStargazer 2 роки тому +74

    INFJ here. Can't count how many times I've thought, "I should go into the dating profile branding business". Not only did I focus on grammar, photo quality and overall language used in profiles -- I also judged people , a lot, based on how their profiles were narrated. I used to say, "Packaging is the key to finding a compatible partner." -- with total disregard for the type of gift in the package. I also was that kid who enjoyed looking through the Christams edition of the Sears Magazine, cover-to- cover, more than Christmas itself. So, if I'm honest, I enjoy my head in the clouds a bit more than my feet on the ground. I also enjoy my excel budgets and bullet journals. Suffice to say, I'm still single.

    • @recoveringsoul755
      @recoveringsoul755 2 роки тому +2

      I love those catalogs, Sears, JC Penney, Montgomery Ward's, whatever was in business. Siblings and i would have so much fun looking at those and writing down what we wanted, narrowing it down.

    • @suki5048
      @suki5048 2 роки тому

      Seriously same!

  • @daniellelarsen9767
    @daniellelarsen9767 2 роки тому +47

    I’m an ENFP married to an ENTP and the structure thing is so real. I think we got together partially because of our laid back, schedule-hating-ness. So now we’re that couple that has the reputation of “They’ll definitely be late-if they show up at all.” But it’s never that we intend to be late, we just debate up to the last minute “Should we really go to this thing that we have committed to go to every week? Should we really go today?” We’re so sorry.

    • @andreaplatz_yt4086
      @andreaplatz_yt4086 2 роки тому +5

      As an INTP, I have to say I have the same problem about 'should I go or should I not?'. Always end up 5 mins late.

  • @matiabilic2377
    @matiabilic2377 2 роки тому +97

    This was Robin Hood level accuracy and precision... As an INTJ, I would love to hand my date a short questionnaire but that sounds frowned upon in dating world. And splitting my focus to two or more men at once sounds as easily manageable as unified field theory...

    • @jamesbell7696
      @jamesbell7696 2 роки тому +15

      Also INTJ, and I can't stand the messaging back and forth that's expected in online dating. Meet me for coffee or wine just once and I will know whether there's potential for more. Frank's right. I really don't want to do all the other "work" that's typical of dating.

    • @onlyfansagency
      @onlyfansagency 2 роки тому +4

      @@jamesbell7696 I dislike reality tv shows, but I do find an odd thrill watching Married at First Sight. "Specialists use scientific matchmaking methods to determine each couple, who will not have met or had contact with each other until the wedding day."

    • @IzzyKawaiichi
      @IzzyKawaiichi 2 роки тому +3

      @@onlyfansagency My mom loves that show too, but look at their statistics-- Science or no, they sure don't have many successful matches.

    • @andreaplatz_yt4086
      @andreaplatz_yt4086 2 роки тому

      As an INTP, I have to say I'd be so happy if someone does that lol.

  • @rachellel.4021
    @rachellel.4021 2 роки тому +122

    yes! as an INFP I absolutely can't imagine dating because I'd rather focus on achieving my personal goals first lol. I view dating as something that would just take up too much of my time 😅

    • @It_is_Okay_to_be_Sad
      @It_is_Okay_to_be_Sad 2 роки тому +5

      Same girl same 😁

    • @Jaxan-dq2jy
      @Jaxan-dq2jy 2 роки тому +3

      I am infj and I very agree
      I swear I have this thought in my mind that I'm an infp in denial

    • @kasiako355
      @kasiako355 2 роки тому +4

      As a fellow INFP, I'll give you a nice advice ;) Confronting yourself with the outer world lets you grow a lot as a person:) It gives you new perspectives, broaden your horizons, and gives you new pieces of puzzles, which you can make a good use of in your inner world :) If you choose not to interact with the outside, in making and managing relationships, in communicate with others, you loose a whole lot of important factors and valuable life lessons which could help with your self growth

    • @delll372
      @delll372 2 роки тому +5

      my partner is INFP so i can understand that perspective. but I'm just saying you can still achieve those things while dating, you still can be more awesome, grow and get closer to your dream while in the journey of dating. if anything the right partner will be your cheerleader 🤗 and be the best support system so you can achieve it sooner/better 🥰

    • @zerbstablackthunder3514
      @zerbstablackthunder3514 2 роки тому +1

      😂 Don't reveal that. Now, we're officially hopeless romantics.

  • @sunset4ever29
    @sunset4ever29 2 роки тому +25

    As an INFP, I remember (this was a long time ago), either talking too much or not talking enough. It felt like a mirror on myself and then cringing afterward and wondering how to avoid this person. One hint for people still dating, do not talk about future plans too soon, or the person thinks you are including THEM in your dreams of the future and it scares them. Also focus on what the person is revealing and ask subtle questions about them at the time, instead of thinking later that you should have asked them more about themselves. Frank nailed it about INFP's, we expect a lot of ourselves and always think we didn't do enough.

  • @limaindiasiestaalpha
    @limaindiasiestaalpha 2 роки тому +72

    You're right about INTPs and ISTPs. I'm an ENTP who got an INTP boyfriend and I did all the hitting. "Luckily" my inferior Si lets me tend to overinterpret cues of interest from others so I picked up on him looking at me a bit more than the rest and that was enough encouragement for me.
    Btw I probably only committed to him because he is even harder to catch than I am and we're not even officially committed after half a year

    • @helenwood8482
      @helenwood8482 2 роки тому +7

      ENTPs and INFPs seem to know the INTP code better than most. The INTPs I have known have always seemed enigmatic to others, but they are an open book to me (INFP) and my ENTP brother had a lot of INTP friends.

    • @limaindiasiestaalpha
      @limaindiasiestaalpha 2 роки тому +3

      @@helenwood8482 oh yes, my INTP bf also seems highly intrigued by INFPs! I find that surprising, since INFPs are so feelings based while INTPs are all about logic (at least they'd like to be)

    • @andreaplatz_yt4086
      @andreaplatz_yt4086 2 роки тому

      @@limaindiasiestaalpha. As a fellow INTP, I have to say that I don't know anything about love or feelings in general but yeah, I can recite the 100 digits of pi and I still get straight A's withought studying even for a day. Everything I know, or seem to know, about feelings is from the research I've done online lol.

    • @limaindiasiestaalpha
      @limaindiasiestaalpha 2 роки тому

      @@andreaplatz_yt4086 to be fair I should say that I don't understand love either and I often don't know how I even feel. And my INTP also doesn't understand feelings, but he keeps saying that he would like to plant his personality inside a robot that is able to think but not feel...

  • @eynta2
    @eynta2 2 роки тому +187

    Spot on! My husband is ESTP. I'm ENFJ. We met online 23 years ago. We didn't really even date. He just asked me if we should get married and we hadn't even met in person. Being the accommodating person I am I said sure! 😆
    Were we crazy? Probably. Did it work? Yep!
    Best decision we've ever made.

    • @TwerkingJelly
      @TwerkingJelly 2 роки тому +20

      Lmao😂👍

    • @pablozanoto5801
      @pablozanoto5801 2 роки тому +20

      Happy for you two! 💛

    • @dominika1348
      @dominika1348 2 роки тому +19

      But for how long did you talk to him before you decided to get married?

    • @Carolina-cm6nu
      @Carolina-cm6nu 2 роки тому +15

      That is amazing and insane at the same time but wow congrats you guys!!

    • @Pokayy
      @Pokayy 2 роки тому +12

      Wow my parents are estp and enfj (i forced them to take the test) but in their case they fight everyday! Bcz of that I always thought these types don’t work out together but you opened my mind, I hope you guys have a great life

  • @adrianniarouley
    @adrianniarouley 2 роки тому +39

    As an INTJ, I laughed a little bit too hard at how accurate my problem is / was 🤣 (married, and put in very minimal research-but it’s continuing to work out)

  • @ellybean7354
    @ellybean7354 2 роки тому +54

    My guess for INFP: putting their partner on a pedestal/having idealized and unrealistic expectations of their partner.

    • @ellybean7354
      @ellybean7354 2 роки тому +14

      awww. After seeing Frank's segment on us makes me feel like even this guess was too self critical.

    • @Multitudes_
      @Multitudes_ 2 роки тому +12

      As an INFP who's been on the receiving end of another INFP's affections, boy have I been subjected to that. And it certainly didn't aid in my own 'Am I good enough?' worries.
      I can't deny that I have a bit of this tendency myself, but I've always tried to temper it with a dose of realism and willingness to accept imperfections.

    • @guybeauregard
      @guybeauregard 2 роки тому +3

      From my experience (on the receiving end of this process): yes accurate.

    • @andreaplatz_yt4086
      @andreaplatz_yt4086 2 роки тому

      @@Multitudes_. I have had the same worries, but Instead I was INTP and so were they. I wasn't sure if they were actually interested and if I was doing something wrong. The video is spot on.

  • @trinaq
    @trinaq 2 роки тому +104

    As an INFJ, I tend to overthink and overanalyse every conversation and interaction to no end.

    • @DoubleOhSilver
      @DoubleOhSilver 2 роки тому +5

      As they're happening too

    • @sofiapellizzari9690
      @sofiapellizzari9690 2 роки тому +6

      when he said "you gotta throw that out the window" my heart disintegrated

    • @i3ignorantidelweb43
      @i3ignorantidelweb43 2 роки тому +6

      As INTJ I’ve never had a date because I have so low Se that no one ever asked me. I never asked someone because I be like “mhh it’s not gonna work a lifetime”

    • @StephanieJeanne
      @StephanieJeanne 2 роки тому +2

      Yes, same here.

    • @edi0157
      @edi0157 2 роки тому

      ISTJ here, less so if they are my friends but especially when I dont know them that well, damn. And I havent had a date either, INTJ....I have never asked anyone because I never had a crush on anyone because I need to talk to people in order to see if I like them and I barely do that lol

  • @Daemonenkoenigin13
    @Daemonenkoenigin13 2 роки тому +67

    INFJ here, doing the mistakes of an ENFJ/ESFJ & INFJ/INTJ. I fall very hard way too fast and tend to give up my identity in order for the other person to like me. You can be hella sure that that's what I'm working on to change right now!! 😂
    Also congratulations on 1 Million! Called it a few months ago, hehe. You deserve it!

    • @nikkinorman4254
      @nikkinorman4254 2 роки тому +1

      I just noticed I would do that too and it sucks WHY AM I BUILT LIKE THIS LMAO I'M A ENFJ... Like I think I fall in love because I can already see a future with them and I sometimes can be TOO kind to a point where I change, you best believe I'm working on that and setting boundaries when it comes to my self-worth. Ain't no simping for me!

  • @kylesavage4525
    @kylesavage4525 2 роки тому +159

    Video Request: What misconceptions about themselves does each of the 16 personalities have?

    • @lifu._
      @lifu._ 2 роки тому +27

      That's a good video idea because I've always wondered that.

    • @FrankJames
      @FrankJames  2 роки тому +79

      good idea!

  • @miljanagolubovic7940
    @miljanagolubovic7940 2 роки тому +28

    entp here! When my boyfriend proposed to me after 7 years of dating, I was petrified. I didn't realize that we had "made it that far" and it took me another 5 years after that to finally agree to the wedding. I guess we are serious now 🤷

  • @lynnes1864
    @lynnes1864 2 роки тому +53

    This is interesting because yes, INTP is accurate. I've been told I'm hard to read and lacking in vulnerability (working on it). But I'm also a little bit like the INTJ. I don't want to go on a lot of bad dates to find who I'm looking for! If I can weed out the incompatibles, I will. But I think I can be open minded without sacrificing on things that really are deal breakers.

    • @ceilinh6004
      @ceilinh6004 2 роки тому +10

      I'm an INTP too, and can relate to a degree. I know I'm hard to read, but I also have never been interested in casual dating. I've never wanted to date anyone I couldn't see myself marrying. In the end, I married the first person I ever dated, and he (another INTP) did the same.

    • @delll372
      @delll372 2 роки тому +4

      you're right, dont sacrifice your core values. try to fish in the right pond, the circle/type of group you clicks with, or whatever type of pool you think "the brain you're interested in" most likely is there, open your self to talks in that crowd.

    • @phatcat3705
      @phatcat3705 2 роки тому +3

      I'm an INTP, and same here about the bad dates part. I'm extremely picky (for good reason, as I'm from a dysfunctional background and don't want to risk continuing the cycle), as well as very private and non-expressive, so I tend to come across as anti-social, and been called "cold-hearted" before. I don't want to have a marriage like my parents', but I also don't want to be like my uncle and sister, spending a good portion of their lives going from one bad relationship to the next searching for Mrs/Mr Right and still getting nowhere. I think that what you see is what you get, so when I see anything I don't like, I walk away. This always happens subconsciously, though, like I don't deliberately do this. I just get disinterested when something comes up that I find a deal-breaker (e.g., the other wanting children, while I'm adamant about NO), because I don't believe in dating someone you don't see yourself marrying (and staying married. WELL-married. Long-term). But then again, we'll never know until we put ourselves out there.

    • @andreaplatz_yt4086
      @andreaplatz_yt4086 2 роки тому

      @@ceilinh6004. Damn, same happened to me except the marriage part. We eneded up seperating (Both of us were INTP aswell). Reason was that I wasn't as affectionate as the person wanted me to be.

  • @Dom-Tom-Tom
    @Dom-Tom-Tom 2 роки тому +48

    Dating someone seems to me quite boring and stressful. Having a drink, going to the cinema, planning a few more dates, etc... It feels like a standardised meeting to me, or even a job interview. When I like someone, I prefer doing more spontaneous and original activities with them, without these "dating rules". It's not a problem of commitment in my schedule timetable, it's just that it's awkward 😄 - ENFP

    • @wintertontoday
      @wintertontoday 2 роки тому +5

      Agreed - INFP. But a nice romantic dinner somewhere, like Lady and the Tramp, is nice maybe when you are better acquainted and less nervous.

    • @avril.227
      @avril.227 2 роки тому +1

      Sounds like an activity date or group date might be more your speed. (INFJ)

    • @nikkinorman4254
      @nikkinorman4254 2 роки тому

      Ya same I just like to have fun, I don't like all the conventional stuff -ENFJ

    • @Dom-Tom-Tom
      @Dom-Tom-Tom 2 роки тому +4

      @@avril.227 I don't like group activities, and I definitively love having deep conversations 🙂 When I say "spontaneously", I don't mean it has to be fun. I mean I want to get to know the person without any pressure or standards, whereas in this process of dating, there are kind of implicit rules and norms. I think dating partners are more likely to act in a stereotyped way, to do conventional activities and to respect implicit norms that don't necessarily match their values and personality when they are in an officially dating process than when they are just... getting to know each other. I don't know if it's clear, sorry, I am struggling a bit with the language 🤭

    • @zerbstablackthunder3514
      @zerbstablackthunder3514 2 роки тому +2

      This is why we are not just going to date for the sake of dating. It has to be personal and actually an additional happiness in our life.
      -INFP

  • @heaterdawg
    @heaterdawg 2 роки тому +15

    You are dead on about ISTPs. I am currently dating one, and he was so hard to read at first. We even joked about his facial expression never changing despite how he was feeling. 😄

  • @julianbailey2749
    @julianbailey2749 2 роки тому +17

    Viewpoint from an older ISTP. I was not very good with experimenting with my feelings and disliked getting social things wrong as a young person, so I was way behind with relationships until I got into my 20's and even then it was very hit and miss. Older me looks back at a few good relationship opportunities that I totally blew as I didn't have the confidence to say what I wanted. Now in my late 40's and I am much more open with close friends but still find strangers difficult to deal with and that issue may make me act rather neutrally to people that I don't know well. In a work situation it is a bit different as I expect to be respected for my abilities and not questioned (too much) and I expect the same of other people, that creates a much easier starting point for a working discussion.
    TL;DR our inferior Fe makes us feel really bad if we make other people feel bad, which makes us rather not trigger strong emotions in others at all. This makes us late in close personal relationship development and even when developed we will be cautious in our emotional approach to other people.

  • @sherrylui5052
    @sherrylui5052 2 роки тому +29

    The lack of facial expression is so true for this INTP here… Every time I thought I was smiling for the camera, it would turn out in the photo as if I was quietly judging the camera. (No I wasn’t judging you camera)

    • @josephmangara9687
      @josephmangara9687 2 роки тому +3

      This is so accurate 😂😂 I went to a class dinner last month and I could almost swear I was smiling in every group photo. Turns I wasn't smiling in any of them and everyone else was

    • @freregregoire2685
      @freregregoire2685 2 роки тому +11

      INTP here, and looking at the photos, I have learned pretty well to smile at the camera. But apparently my face is like a lamp that goes on and off: some other people have commented that when I am actually talking with other people, I have a friendly face, but when not, I look quite forbidding, and the switch between the two looks is noticeable...
      So I guess if my engagement to the other person falters, I will give "bored now" vibes very quickly (but I don't really want to be too hype either, and besides it is taxing in energy).

    • @edi0157
      @edi0157 2 роки тому +3

      ISTJ here, I cant smile either and I know it. Just take the photo, stop forcing me to smile, I am doing my best already

    • @sherrylui5052
      @sherrylui5052 2 роки тому +4

      @@freregregoire2685 I get similar feedback from time to time. Probably because I have higher energy level when engaged in conversations that catch my attention, and I will somewhat mimic the gestures of people I am talking with. It can be very energy-consuming though to override the default neutral face (may seem bored to others, but I am not really feeling bored, just immersed in my own thoughts) when I am not interested in what’s happening around me, as the override requires both mental and physical efforts.

    • @andreaplatz_yt4086
      @andreaplatz_yt4086 2 роки тому

      So true tho. My mom always called me a Zombie and said 'You are too cold-hearted'. Guess she picked it up too lol.

  • @SayItAintTso
    @SayItAintTso 2 роки тому +50

    God the INFP part was accurate. I’m only now learning to stop internalizing everything. A bad date used to be enough to make me suicidal. Now I just have to tell myself: Even the most popular and attractive people have been rejected at some point. Bad dates are necessary to make room for good ones.

    • @ryeofoatmeal
      @ryeofoatmeal 2 роки тому +9

      woah love your quote at the end :D

  • @PaleGhost69
    @PaleGhost69 2 роки тому +163

    INTJ here. The problem with "dating research" is that most people suck.

    • @boba.1207
      @boba.1207 2 роки тому +37

      INTJ here and i cannot tell you how much i agree

    • @McDonalds_xingqiu
      @McDonalds_xingqiu 2 роки тому +13

      ​@@boba.1207 INFJ and you guys are overreacting lol

    • @mymy-pc6zq
      @mymy-pc6zq 2 роки тому +4

      ISFJ and I agree with INFJ

    • @deegibb6368
      @deegibb6368 2 роки тому

      INTJ and the INFJ & ISFJ in this comment proves the OP right. Y'all suck.

    • @boba.1207
      @boba.1207 2 роки тому +19

      @@McDonalds_xingqiu Most people only want the status. They expect you to put in all the effort while giving absolutely ✨nothing ✨in return.

  • @boodledemic6430
    @boodledemic6430 2 роки тому +10

    3:42 as an INFJ with an ENFJ bf I can understand this very well - I have to ask him often “yes but what do you actually want?” and he’s like “whatever you want is fine with me” and it’s like his only goal is to make me happy and then I feel like I’m letting him down because he has to change his ways to fit my needs which make him unhappy in the long run but he’s happy now because I’m happy 🙃 or something. _NFJs are complicated man

  • @angel_cat
    @angel_cat 2 роки тому +20

    The pep talk for ISFP/INFP is really helpful. I'm not dating anyone but have been overthinking all the moments I was even in the line of sight of my crush this last few months. I wish I can stop being overly self-critical and be able to just be myself. I don't want to exude negativity. 🥺❤️

  • @CorvidQueen319
    @CorvidQueen319 Рік тому +6

    As an INFJ-T, I'm proud to say I did the research work! I met my ENFJ-A husband and we both clicked really well. We're similar enough where we don't fight over silly things, but different enough to balance each other out.

  • @boomboom1258
    @boomboom1258 2 роки тому +41

    INFP here. I really appreciate FJ saying that most people don't hold me to the high standards as I'd hold myself to - which helps me feel a lil better because I always feel like an impostor even with my bf and I would ask him for explanations for why he likes me at the first place. I guess I'm just too critical on myself to be perfect like my freaking ideals. 😐😐

    • @ryeofoatmeal
      @ryeofoatmeal 2 роки тому +4

      right!! I had multiple people confess to me they like me, back in the days. and the first thing pops in my head was 'why do you like me tho??' 😬🤣

  • @yawnrong
    @yawnrong 2 роки тому +9

    Im an istp/intp, and i got flashbacks to my school picture book photos when u said that sometimes i think that i look like im smiling but im actually not. I thought i was smiling so much while taking the school photo but then once i actually check the photo, my face looks like “: |”

  • @IcyVee523
    @IcyVee523 2 роки тому +13

    As an INFP, hearing you say “If you’re so concerned about improving yourself that you just can’t stop all this critical self talk, then maybe it’s a sign that you should actually work on some stuff.” Is the most encouraging and motivating thing that anyone say to me! I will not accept anything less than perfect anymore. If it means that I will work my ass off to achieve it, then so be it!

    • @N0L.
      @N0L. 3 місяці тому

      Omg I don't know if you're still around to see my response, but DON'T CHASE PERFECTION. Actually this is exactly what FJ was trying to imply in this video. Perfection isn't a goal we should keep for ourselves, because it's the core reason why we INFPs are so so soooo self critical. Working on yourself, in my pov, would be to embrace more what we do well, instead on focusing on fixing what we do "wrong". I think by nurturing the great things we do and care about allows us to just take a step back and stop self torturing with that endless loop of self improvement journey that can be more draining than anything if not controlled, for it not to take the whole space in our life, making us more miserable.
      Yeah. Do what you love, learn how to love yourself doing what you love, and I think the rest might follow step by step.
      God bless you beyond your prayers

  • @TubeThings
    @TubeThings 2 роки тому +21

    Lol what if you’re bored AND interested!?
    Yeah, I’m INTP and my husband is ISTP and this pretty much describes our first few dates. …I have no idea how we figured it out and got together! Haha

    • @Wolvish
      @Wolvish Рік тому

      Go on more active than talkative dates? Less food more crafts(or something)?

  • @Unluckq
    @Unluckq 2 роки тому +10

    Frank to intjs- "Go out there and talk to people!"
    Me: sir did you not see the first letter of my mbti

  • @MariaMedina-lj4kt
    @MariaMedina-lj4kt 2 роки тому +10

    INFJ here, and yes. I'm actually in a more advanced stage, cause I just quit dating altogether years ago. I just don't have the energy it takes to meet people, make a bunch of small talk and try to figure out who's worth it and who's not. From my experience, it's mostly a waste of time (and energy).

  • @PilarBada
    @PilarBada 2 роки тому +5

    I'm ENFJ omg I felt my brain violated of how truthful this felt. Thank you!

  • @helgaioannidis9365
    @helgaioannidis9365 2 роки тому +12

    Happily married INFP here. I'm glad my mother gave me good advice about relationships. Where I grew up we didn't date. I feel like I just kind of ended up in long time relationships without realising what was happening,was always just living the moment and suddenly I was married with kids 😂
    My mums advice was "don't think, feel". Best advice ever!!!

  • @MsTreefox
    @MsTreefox 2 роки тому +6

    Damnnnn...I'm ENTJ I feel called out, but it's a good thing for me to hear. I grew up in a household where I was always the problem solver/care taker. I definitely struggle with fixer-uppers and being there too much for others. I'm so over it haha!

  • @nurainiarsad7395
    @nurainiarsad7395 2 роки тому +14

    I think maybe INTJs (or at least this one) finds the sheer drudgery of dating a huge drain. Because we’re used to the effort for nearly everything else in life to be a matter of aiming better and then hitting your first shot (or close enough). So not only is the high failure rate of the process a pain in and of itself, the contrast to the rest of our life where we don’t have to put up with that, makes it worse. There’s a lot more guaranteed interesting things we could be doing, which makes risking time on a person that may or may not be fun an unpersuasive proposition, even though we know that it you extrapolate this behaviour to the long term, logically it damages our chances of finding a partner. I wonder how many of us get partnered through our own efforts, or through the efforts of types more tolerant of the process and then find us!

  • @annelisewilliams03
    @annelisewilliams03 2 роки тому +24

    As an ENFP I feel like my problem is I assume people can keep up with my chaotic mind and/or they're too slow to understand my higher level of thinking 😌

    • @writtensecretly1651
      @writtensecretly1651 2 роки тому +7

      Totally agree! People often said I was too much. And I over analysed allot because I thought that was a genuine problem in my dating life. Turns out its just personality. That stuff don't change 😂

  • @jimspelman8538
    @jimspelman8538 2 роки тому +10

    Hilariously timely video. As a classic INFP, I have been beating myself over a woman I WANT to date and haven't even met in person yet (building good friendship through social media). I am already thinking of all the reasons she won't like me. I am now mentally slapping myself and yelling at myself to "Stop it!"

  • @kathrynjones8717
    @kathrynjones8717 Рік тому +7

    From an ESFJ - I can even see that in many of my friendships. I love my friends but I honestly can't remember the last time we did something i truly wanted to do without them seeming a little bored. I usually just let everyone else choose and I enjoy myself when others are having fun! However, I can see how that can backfire in the dating world.

  • @MoonSun00
    @MoonSun00 2 роки тому +15

    As an INFP, I've never ever felt like I can relate to anything until I heard this!
    I am too self-critical, and that's for a good reason! Even though I've never been on a date before, you can count on me to ask myself when the time comes, "Why? Why me? What does he see in me?" But now at the moment, I don't have to worry about that because I already know why I'm still single 😥

    • @gamerdweebentertainment1616
      @gamerdweebentertainment1616 2 роки тому +1

      oof... that gamer tag though, should be a breeze actually :)

    • @ryeofoatmeal
      @ryeofoatmeal 2 роки тому +1

      I'm too self critical bcos I'm afraid if I ended up with the wrong person. and i date to marry. I don't wanna waste my time here. so i thought being high standard would eliminate the possibilities of bad things happening - infp 😐

  • @hazelmclardy8450
    @hazelmclardy8450 Рік тому +3

    You are so accurate for the INFP! 😂 After dates I question normal things to a point where I'm sure I'm embarrassed because I said something stupid or shared too much enthusiasm. In a relationship, I even took on alllll the blame even though it turned out to be an emotionally abusive one towards me lol. Thanks for the ✨ self-awareness therapy ✨

  • @arachnid33
    @arachnid33 2 роки тому +22

    Haha as an INFJ this is me. I literally googled “how to hack online dating.” A few days ago. Going through matches and having the same small talk conversation starters with a whole bunch of people I don’t even know just sounds painful. I need a way to get to the point of it all.

    • @kristianjensen5877
      @kristianjensen5877 2 роки тому +6

      If I was actively dating as an INFJ I'd try this:
      Ditch the dating apps and meet people in real life.
      Ex. speed dating or single mixers in the local area is a bajillion percent more efficient than using dating apps because it gives an opportunity to talk to a bunch of people in a short amount of time and "download" their energy/vibe using our INFJness to determine whether it'd be a potentially good match.
      People can easily hide their personality and idiosyncrasies in texts, but most people can't in real life, so less time is wasted trying to figure out what their motives and demeanor are etc.
      If that's not an option, avoid having small talk text conversation starters and show the weird INFJness of our personality as soon as possible.
      Talk about that weird thing we like. You know the one. The one with Schroedingers Cats dressed up as super heroes and villains at the same time.
      If they're in, they're in. If they're out, we've just saved a whole bunch of time and effort trying to appear "normal" and interested in small talk.

    • @edi0157
      @edi0157 2 роки тому +2

      All of us introverts suffer with small talk not only you INFJs, ISTJ here and it would be nice if we could skip that. And meeting so many people sounds draining and scary indeed...I have never Googled that though:))

    • @Missmagazinebura
      @Missmagazinebura 2 роки тому

      The guys come up to me . I’m too introverted to come up to guys

    • @edi0157
      @edi0157 2 роки тому +1

      @@Missmagazinebura So are us guys, guess we are doomed then

    • @Missmagazinebura
      @Missmagazinebura 2 роки тому

      @@edi0157 lol 😂 make a joke. I’ll laugh

  • @khiroe
    @khiroe 2 роки тому +5

    Wow. I didn't expect this video to be so accurate.
    INFP: I always had this "I can't have someone if I don't become a better person" stigma, that's why my first relationship was only at age 26 (all my friends started dating in high school).
    ESTJ: LOL that's my mom bossing my dad around like "it's my obligation to fix you". My dad is ENFP btw, so there's a lot of "chaos" (Ne) for her to "fix".

  • @RinaKim6
    @RinaKim6 2 роки тому +9

    Yeah, the advices for INFJ are like "no way!", texting with several people? I feel overwhelmed texting just with one, I can't with two, is too much work for me, I like to live in peace without people demanding my attention xD

  • @alchenerd
    @alchenerd 2 роки тому +6

    FJ: "IXTPs you should show your interest in the person more"
    My mind immediately jumps to Patrick Star "I love you" scene

  • @tracyzimmerman7912
    @tracyzimmerman7912 2 роки тому +15

    This is all well and good... however some people have had traumatic childhoods. This screws you up in relationships period.
    I'm an INFP and I just wanted to point that out.

  • @scabbarae
    @scabbarae 2 роки тому +10

    Me, an INTJ:
    "Oh yeah, sure, I'm gonna give up this easy life of doing whatever the hell I want 24/7 and go through the motions of a relationship with someone who'll probably just dump me anyway. Yep. Sounds legit."

  • @brigard_brick1952
    @brigard_brick1952 2 роки тому +33

    Calling INFJ now as trauma bonding or going too deep too fast😭
    Edit: that calculated assessment and prediction was very INTJ of me and I was, in fact, wrong☹️.

    • @dancenshout2002
      @dancenshout2002 2 роки тому +2

      was the guy in "How I met your mother" wasn't he convinced everyone he met would be the one? and yet... he still went out and tried. Maybe that is a secret...day dream and plan, but still place one foot infront of the other.

  • @taste.my.wrath.396
    @taste.my.wrath.396 2 роки тому +21

    I'm an ISFJ and I never dated before and I'm actually not planning this now, but I feel like this advice can be used in general not only in dating. ( you're rocking this hairstyle Frank )

    • @yuiitodoro7791
      @yuiitodoro7791 2 роки тому

      I am an isfj too , and never dated anyone . Hi there☺👋

  • @MC怨霊
    @MC怨霊 2 роки тому +10

    As an INTJ who never had a relationships, I find this very accurate

    • @simonz7972
      @simonz7972 2 роки тому

      Our time will come!

    • @MC怨霊
      @MC怨霊 2 роки тому

      @@simonz7972 i hope

  • @tanikaradia
    @tanikaradia 2 роки тому +23

    FJ! You are the only UA-camr whose sponsorship I never miss and enjoy a lot 👍😂
    Keep growing 💖

  • @victoriae725
    @victoriae725 2 роки тому +22

    FJ: 16 Personalities DATING MISTAKES
    Me, an ENTP: It's going to be commitment issues, isn't it?
    FJ: ENTP/ENFP, commitment!
    Me: Goddamn it. I already knew that.

    • @Brothisisprivate
      @Brothisisprivate 2 роки тому

      💀💀💀 Brkzjfla that’s literally what i said (ENTP)

    • @al738knyh
      @al738knyh 2 роки тому

      Literally I knew before even clicking on the video as an ENFP. I always say it, it's ne dom curse.

  • @AnaPaula-kt1oi
    @AnaPaula-kt1oi 2 роки тому +6

    I'm not an enfp/entp but I only got over my fear of commitment when I discovered the type of person I really like. And this is not something simple, maybe you have already met him/her but never noticed. In order to maintain a relationship, romantic and sexual attraction is necessary. Very intelligent people cannot feel long-lasting romantic attraction to less intelligent people. Usually what keeps a relationship between an intelligent and a less intelligent person is sexual attraction alone, which is not enough to make a relationship last.

  • @thespacemanfil
    @thespacemanfil 2 роки тому +6

    Thanks for making me realise I've been screwing up with sending vibes to my crush for the past two years. I don't think I have a chance anymore.
    - INTP

  • @anastasialenkova-molchalin5874
    @anastasialenkova-molchalin5874 2 роки тому +9

    I'm an INTP and I've never had a date. I wonder why...

  • @reynoldscf95
    @reynoldscf95 2 роки тому +4

    INFJ here.... such wow. i did the research. i downloaded the app. i messaged 1 person... and now i'm waiting for the universe to send me the right person bc the action i did take was quite difficult. xD

  • @thelostgirl101
    @thelostgirl101 2 роки тому +9

    As an INTJ I've officially gone on 1 date in 22 years, lol.

  • @Jooney91
    @Jooney91 2 роки тому +4

    I laughed through whole INFJ/INTJ part because you completely called me out lol. Everything you said was on point, even your "oh boy".
    Btw. Frank you seem to have more silver hair. Looks good on you 😉

  • @laurenaspreyart
    @laurenaspreyart 2 роки тому +15

    The problem I have with dating apps (not that I’ve ever used them) is that messaging several people sounds like being a player. I wouldn’t want to send anyone the wrong signal or get their hopes up only to betray them and pick someone else. It might be the quickest way to narrow down the options, and I’m sure it’s a common strategy anyway, but I’d feel so guilty for doing that.

    • @onlyfansagency
      @onlyfansagency 2 роки тому

      Everyone expects that.

    • @dancenshout2002
      @dancenshout2002 2 роки тому +1

      Eyes wide open. there are sharks swimming everywhere. you will meet honest souls and some that are game playing...but you stay true and open minded, wear a thick skin to not be easily offended and should have some fun... just making a new friend...no pressure... and remember they were not created to solve all of your woes, nor are you there ti fix or improve what god made them... you can't pay for their past pain...and can't give them the moon..but what you can do is dance and laugh and enjoy getting to know a new friend. Time and troubles will show if they stay or if they go...trust isn't built overnight... but with give and take through stormy weather you can find out who is worthy and who is just passing by...

    • @evanmcfee5139
      @evanmcfee5139 2 роки тому

      Being open and honest about your intentions will help alleviate that. You don't owe anything to anyone you're not committed to.

    • @Missmagazinebura
      @Missmagazinebura 2 роки тому +1

      I need to see them In person . I don’t use dating apps

  • @robinlinn142
    @robinlinn142 2 роки тому +4

    I'm an older INFP and my partner is an INFJ. I find myself frequently wanting to ask him what he sees in me and he very kindly holds up a mirror of how hard I am on myself.
    When I was young I had to learn to not project so much negativity, and basically I learned to use more of my Ne. So, fellow INFP's, tap into your Ne social super power!

  • @amasmit2
    @amasmit2 2 роки тому +16

    Omg!! Just came back after a while and noticed you’re on a million Subs!! Congrats Frank 🎉🎉 (I don’t know if you’ve already celebrated with a video or something but I just wanted to put my two cents in 😊😊🥳)

  • @keen96
    @keen96 2 роки тому +2

    INTP here; the very last bit hit me hard lol. According to me, I'm the most upbeat dude around, always laughing, smiling, and spreading that joy around but just in the past month I've been told by 4 different people that they thought I was too serious and that they were scared of me when they met me ;-;

    • @kalduayam1060
      @kalduayam1060 2 роки тому

      really!🤣 I'm so funny but maybe that's just in my head😂

  • @ima.ekenes
    @ima.ekenes 2 роки тому +3

    As an INFJ who found my soulmate when I was 15, I have always feel so lucky that I found him even before I had gotten to a point where I had startet to worry/plan.
    I just watched this episode to see "what I missed"…and I guess I kind of knew! 😝
    It took us 9 years to get married though, I think your INFP analysis was pretty spot on. 😁

  • @allisonlargo7605
    @allisonlargo7605 2 роки тому +5

    I am an ENFP married for 10yrs, I still second guess my decision after 3 kids and all these years 🤣 I married someone from a different culture and we live between 2 different countries. He is an ISFJ that I don't understand in almost every aspect of his personality, and so many people asked me why I married someone so different - if I married anyone else I would have them figured out and then I would have been BORED. Enfps just need to find someone exotic & mysterious and they will be fine for a long time 🤣

    • @Borboleta1212
      @Borboleta1212 Рік тому

      I’m an INFP and I dig that exotic and mysterious comment 😂 me too sister 😅

  • @vangothengirl
    @vangothengirl 2 роки тому +10

    "INFJ and INTJ..*loud echoing* OH BOY!" 😂 I typically skip over to my time stamp and my husband's personality, but I watched through all of it knowing damn well mine was probably gonna sting. Luckily, I found it funny and took your advice a few years earlier (Time Traveller? 🤔). Online dating is a no go, I've tried it...not for me. I have met people online and it just never works out 🤷 However, meeting people in real life has always have had a much higher chance of working out for me personally. This is for both romantic and platonic relationships. With that being said, it can also be exhausting and scary. If I have random spurts of extroversion, it works out very nicely. In fact, it was how I remet my husband (I didn't realize we met years before) and opened doors to meeting his family that I fit in with really well and his friends. I've learnt more from my husband in the short few years we've known each other than I have for about 16 years of school and just learning from other people and things in my entire life prior to him. Who knew that a bunch of my thinking patterns was such a train wreck and needed more challenging that I never really got? Oh yes, I did really hate it for awhile, but it was needed. I have very much pissed off my INTP partner too. It's really hard facing things that we've been trying to avoid all of our lives. We do compliment each other very well, and those around us can see that a mile away. INFJ and INTP's aren't called the golden pair for nothing 💛

    • @onlyfansagency
      @onlyfansagency 2 роки тому

      Don't skip to timestamps on any creator's videos you like first time around. Just mute them first time around so watch time is 100 percent for them.

    • @vangothengirl
      @vangothengirl 2 роки тому

      @@onlyfansagency Interesting. Is it because it supports the content creator or is this a personal opinion? I'm curious 🤔

  • @LanguageLover
    @LanguageLover 2 роки тому +1

    Most of your stuff is more funny stuff, but this really helped me (ENTP here). The line with "now we have to coordinate our schedules" had me laughing, it's something I think about a lot. So thanks - you've made me understand a bit more about myself.

  • @Green_guy0
    @Green_guy0 2 роки тому +4

    Well not necesary just for dating, I have no friends and thanks to this video I was able to know the cause, I'm ISTP and all the people I've talked to, have not interacted with me again :( but now I know what I was doing bad :) thanks

  • @sylviaowega3839
    @sylviaowega3839 2 роки тому +6

    For me as an INTP, I would find dating often so painful. With male ESFJ’s they would also have walls around them, carry lots of baggage and often try to fix me and ESTJ guys would spend too much time trying to fix me.

    • @kalduayam1060
      @kalduayam1060 2 роки тому +2

      agreed! it's like we're some kind of going wrong as a woman😂🙄 like bruh why'd you want me to change today's world is not like yesterday women can be anything we want

  • @millicentnankivell9184
    @millicentnankivell9184 2 роки тому +4

    INFP dating is basically the same as INFP doing anything else.
    I mean, that’s me every time I submit an assignment at university (but I typically get distinctions and high distinctions)…
    It’s me at the end of a work day in relation to how well I did at work …
    It’s me every time I hear FJ say ‘stay cool and attractive’ …

  • @canyoufeelzeschadenfreude2363
    @canyoufeelzeschadenfreude2363 2 роки тому +6

    Dating seems to be so boring. When I start thinking about dating, I think of all the time I'm going to be wasting focusing on strangers when I could be doing something really fun. Not to mention that dating is basically a job that generates more work because if I start a relationship with someone, I have to think about maintaining the relationship, less time to do what I want, and extra problems. Not to mention that relationships are a casual way for you to start a life-changing project that can have countless consequences, including an exponential increase in suffering if we have kids and screw up. So why should I go after someone, in a boring process, which can bring even more boring consequences that can be permanent if I mess up? If I happen to find someone I love, it would be a different story. But if that doesn't happen that's fine, in the meantime, as long as I'm alive I can do things that make me happy.

  • @giovanim9338
    @giovanim9338 2 роки тому +3

    INTJ here. Spot-on explanation, sir!
    If I cannot foresee a desirable AND likely result, I don't bother investing because I know what's gonna happen (even when theorizing); unlike Se-dom, I don't date without intent, and blind dating (meaning dating random people) is a waste of resources - I'll spend money, time and mental energy on a random person just to check who they are - morals, principles, skills, goals, all by MBTI analysis and red flag check? I'd rather have a nap and focus on my work, since it's good for something.
    My conclusion is an Ni phrase: "Don't bother picking up a fruitless struggle."

  • @vlad5042
    @vlad5042 Рік тому +1

    i have this thing i do where im like "once everything in my life is absolutely perfect and ive found my identity and i like myself and have a lot of confidence and a hot body ill be ready to start looking for people to go on dates with." so far it hasnt been working out for me

  • @rbxq
    @rbxq 2 роки тому +4

    INTP here.
    i would say the appearing disinterested part applies to more than just romantic relationships, for me at least.
    i have quite a few friends who ask me like every single time i see them if it's okay with me if they talk to me. i assume i dont appear interested in talking to them.

    • @kalduayam1060
      @kalduayam1060 2 роки тому +1

      I know!! close friends often tell people that's my face isn't 'like that when I'm way more engaged in conversation' not to mention 'you should smile more', and, oh, my favorite 'your stickers in chatting apps are cute and expressive,not like the real you' 🤣🤣🤣

  • @purplemaze7733
    @purplemaze7733 2 роки тому +6

    Damn Frank, that's a whole lot of information within a 15 minute video. My brain is confizzled indeed.

  • @timefliesaway999
    @timefliesaway999 2 роки тому +4

    I’ve never dated (romantically/sexually), but I’m like a whole mix of ISFJ/ISTJ, ENTP/ENFP, INTP/ISTP and ISFP/INFP. Maybe that’s why. Although, for the last one, I tend to have high standard towards other people, and not really me.

  • @Emilymay93446
    @Emilymay93446 2 роки тому +2

    As an isfp, I realized this from my past relationships. It’s been a long trek but one I’ll never regret. Thanks for the lovely reminders 🙌🏼

  • @elifc.1567
    @elifc.1567 2 роки тому +24

    As an ISFJ, I did the not-jumping-to-the-conclusion part before and yes, the flag bit me in the bum. And now, as soon as I see it, I jump into the conclusion and run away. Guess both ways are on the edge and need to find somewhere in between. But the gut thing is really essential.

  • @tasnimjasia2369
    @tasnimjasia2369 2 роки тому +4

    Me as an INFJ what u said that's totally the reality..then now after seeing this video I discover I've Enfj/Entj self-sacrifice issue & Enfp commitment issue.. and realize that I started to fear commitment coz I know once I do then without realizing I will try to care/help the other person too much that will lead to self-sacrificing..

  • @yatoyato836
    @yatoyato836 2 роки тому +3

    I'm an ENTJ and this is so damn accurate. At some point of my relationship i even realized that my partner's problems became more important to me than mine. Another thing to discover was that my partner didn't actually want me to fix his life. I knew what he had to do step by step to improve his life and to solve most of his problems, but he never acted as i suggested. So we broke up since he was too dumb. (Yeah im kidding the core of the story is true tho)

  • @superstylemeblog
    @superstylemeblog 2 роки тому +2

    Speaking of Fixer Upper- Magnolia Network has a show called The Retro Plant Shop where it’s Joanna and her sister opening a plant store and I could not stop thinking about Myers-Briggs the whole time watching it! If you want to see how an ISFP and INFP are different, watch this show.

  • @twitzmixx8374
    @twitzmixx8374 2 роки тому +3

    12:47 Thank you so much for this advice Frank! This was heartwarming and really punched me in face, made me realize world isn't as harsh as I think it is. Although yes, the world is very very very harsh.
    -INFP

  •  2 роки тому +4

    I did not expect the ISTJ red flag thing and it's so so true... I tend to stay in one situation because who knows if I'll find another? I have a really hard time letting people and relationships go so... I'm working on that.
    your hair is looking very nice btw :)

    • @edi0157
      @edi0157 2 роки тому +2

      Is it? I have never dated myself but I related a lot to the INTJ/INFJ, INFP/ISFP and INTP/ISTP parts

    •  2 роки тому

      @@edi0157 same for the IxTP part 😂

    • @FlamingCockatiel
      @FlamingCockatiel 2 роки тому +1

      Well, so many people say that you shouldn't judge (i.e. condemn) or have prejudice, so why are so many people so quick to decide at once or after one date whether it's not going to work out?

    • @edi0157
      @edi0157 2 роки тому

      @@FlamingCockatiel that is a great point too, obviously depends on what has happened exactly as well