The Truth About BetterHelp, Life Coaches, & Positive Affirmations | Dr. Ali Mattu
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- Опубліковано 1 чер 2024
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00:00 Intro
01:09 Social Media Doctors
07:16 When To Start Talking About Therapy
11:30 Triggering Language
22:57 Medical Turf Wars
49:00 Thought's Don't Matter
56:19 Life Coaches / School Curriculums
1:14:24 Affirmations / Manifestations / Ice Baths
1:26:20 Punishment
1:38:00 BetterHelp
1:58:14 Hacks / Meyers-Briggs / Astrology
2:10:35 The Quesadilla Story
2:25:35 Doctors As President / Pokemon Go
2:33:44 Perks Of Being A Psychologist
Rebooting psychotherapy: pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26162...
Mental health for all by involving all: • Mental Health for All ...
81 words episode of This American Life: www.thisamericanlife.org/204/...
BetterHelp: www.thecut.com/article/mental...
Kaiser mental health strike: www.kqed.org/news/11929713/ka...
Myers Briggs: • Why the Myers-Briggs t...
Follow Dr. Ali Mattu, clinical psychologist from Columbia University and UA-camr, here:
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Instagram: / alimattu
Twitter: / alimattu
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Thanks for having me on Dr. Mike and for continuing to make mental health part of the conversation 🙌🏽
You were a great guest, Dr. Mattu! I hope you and Mike do some collaborations in the future.
Thank you very much Dr. Ali 😊
Nice 👍
Your voice is so soothing. Keep doing what you do doc!
This was a great listen.
BetterHelp is the company that listed professionals who were not actually a part of their system. I have a friend who is a Psy.D who found their name listed even though they have no association with BetterHelp. It's because of that, plus the ethical questions on seeing patients out-of-state and treatment of their professionals, that makes me very on edge about their system.
Also, I know you only said it briefly, but thank you for also mentioning the burnout in professionals. My husband is a licensed clinician who got burned out from a therapy non-profit and moved to focus on research instead of therapy. There was a time when he even thought about leaving psychology as a whole because of everything.
I appreciated what Dr. Ali said about mental health and criminality - “it may not be their fault but it’s still their responsibility”. That’s the most balanced compassionate and realistic take on the issue I’ve heard.
Though the "legal insanity" basically target people in psychosis, it can also be people with severe intellectual disorders. Those who don't have full grasp of the situation they were in and the consequence of the act or omission they did (or didn't') and this state of mind is not something you caused yourself, like drinking a lot of alcohol or "methed" yourself up by own free will. I used to work in a orthopedic surgeons clinic. A fair deal of patients were severely mentally ill injured themselves while trying to get away from an imagined danger, falling down from ladders, running out in traffic etc. A person in such state could probably hurt an innocent bystander thinking it's someone after them.
MEH. no one lets ME a WOMAN get away with ANYTHING!!!
Yes! I feel the same way. ❤ I'm glad he was able to phrase it in a simple way for people to understand too.
there was a lot of missed opportunity to offer a counter to traditional criminal sentencing as they were circling that theme
blah blah@@Staci1994
Really glad he acknowledged the people who aren’t “severe” enough for treatment but are still suffering.
Yeah the amount of quality of life lost in this category is enormous
Omg that was me 😢
This seems to be sadly worldwide right now, and it's frustrating- but at the same time i respect that even in private and public care - people are overworked, and not awlays paid enough to deal with the backlog, and honestly -- I did get a diagnosis finally, which is helping me understand myself better, but also teh frustration that I keep getting shuffled to a life coach that sort of tries to sachedule me rather than dealing with hte problems i actually need help with - but that the life coach knows and i know they can't FIX or smooth off the things i really need to - because i'm not "severe nough"
I specifically didn't seek help for my depression until I was out of highschool, because I didn't want to be diagnosed as "a moody teenager".
Turns out, I had a helluva a lot to be "moody" about...
YES, YES, YES!
“No permanent solutions to temporary feelings”. As someone who has struggled for years with suicidal ideation, that’s the only “affirmation” I use.
That concept got me through the worst of my struggle with postpartum depression. I'm doing a lot better now
Whatever helps you get through! Keep fighting the good fight ❤
I use this too shall pass as a 60 yr old ive seen, been, experienced so much ive learned in the moment its so real so traumatizing so hurtful sooo much pain that ot passes not immediately but it gets bearable somw days its why fight so hard why bother its the same ending no matter the route i take eventually it does change it does get easier because i find new tools with out prescriptions
I really prefer your podcast interviews with medical experts over the ones with celebrities. Celebrities' medical stories can help illustrate a medical topic, but I find the experts much more interesting and I learn more from them. Either way, you always do a great job of informing people and of distinguishing between fact and opinion.
I like watching and listening to the experts more too. It's nice getting a variety of different people tho too.
YES!!! Definitely
Agree Except Steve-o he was fantastic.
Hey Doctor Mike,
Just wanna say that, as an adult on the autism spectrum myself (diagnosed high functioning Asperger's), it doesn't matter if you refer to someone with autism as "a person with autism" or "an autistic person", as long as you refer to them with respect. In my experience with people having similar diagnoses, they don't care about the verbiage, they just want to be respected. Anyone who gives you a hard time about a subject like this is virtue signaling, imo.
As someone also diagnosed with Asperger's, I've been greatly influenced by the Stoics to not allow words to control me. I see way too many people these days take offense at the most trivial things, like how someone refers to them. I say this with a lot of love: you will be so much happier when your self-worth isn't dependent on peoples' approval of you. I'm not saying this is easy, it's like a muscle that needs continued use, but trust me your Future Self will thank you for it. ❤
I also have High Functioning Autism, and although I prefer that term, the ones you mention are also one I'm good with. The respect is key.
@@DonaldAMisc that's a great way to look at that aspect. Your inner problems are just that, yours. Lashing out and taking them out on others is never the solution. This applies to everyone, not just those with a diagnosed condition. Your diagnosis is but one facet of who you are, but it also is part of who you are. Who you are is objective and external. It isn't defined in your mind. Detaching your feelings from who you are goes a long way to helping you get a handle on the hurdles of your life.
Concur as someone on the spectrum. I truly don't care how someone refers to us. As long as it's not used to deride. We are autistic. It's a classification to us, not a 'label'
Im autistic and I have to disagree. I think it matters if you say person with autstim or autistic person, matters to the person. I identify as an autistic person, and I don't think that's virtue signaling AT ALL
Hi Mike! I'm a adult female who is autistic and have adhd. If you say "with autism" or "has autism" or "autistic" it really doesn't matter. I've seen you talk about autism on your channel before and sticking up for the autism community many times so you have absolutely nothing to worry about when it comes to this. There will always be those who feel the need to complain because no matter how hard you try you cannot please everyone!
I prefer "autistic", but that is MY preference.
As much as i'd like for autistic to be the standard and I do think the thought behind the other terms have ableist roots, I'm not going on a witch hunt after those who say it differently.
Like you said, Dr. Mike has stood up for us before.
He doesn't deserve to be harrased bcs of terminology. Specially since not even we can agree on what's the right way to say it.
How the hell is the man supposed to know what to say??
I prefer "I am Autistic" because I have autism is pathologizing autistic people. I have autism means that I have a disease a disorder or I am broken. I am none of that. I have a brain type that is autistic/ADHD. Therefore I don't have autism, I am autistic. I am a 59-year-old female adult and I am AuDHD or AutieHD.
I think Spectral has a nice ring to it (derived from Spectrum from ASD) 😊
Of course that's something normies would never use due to its existing connotations, but hey, normal isn't something that really concerns me.
I prefer autistic, but use interchangeably in conversation autistic and with autism. The issue arises when someone only uses with autism because all the pfl and autism speaks "autism is a disease" and "autism is the monster in your house" talk that helped paint for a very long time that you should never want to be autistic and you shouldn't identify with this thing, you should want to distance it and want it gone.
But when someone uses them interchangeably, it stops the triggering from all the Applied Behaviour Abuse.
@@RiverWoods111I have blonde hair and blue eyes therefore I'm a blue eyed blonde. Whether or not something is pathological should not depend on sentence structure.
Glad to see credible doctors talking about this.
I'm a CBT trained therapist and I was never taught to tell people that their thoughts are irrational. In fact I tell my clients that CBT isn't about telling you your thoughts are wrong as there is likely actual truth and reasoning for your thoughts, its about considering other alternative ways of thinking about a situation that may be equally true or more true. It is about widening the lens of your perspective and considering alternative and weighing them out.
In my training (uni) I sadly often came across more experienced therapists trying to teach cbt and labeling thoughts as wrong or not based on facts or logic. When I learned by myself to take on the exact approach you described, I got accused of not knowing what cbt mindset is about. I'm glad I don't have theirs mindset even though that meant they gave me a lower assessment. In practice I often see people who previously had cbt with someone and their complaints actually worsened, cause it wasn't approached properly.
my background is technically in quackery, but this is my experience working with people as well.
any concept of reality or objectivity is as far as the mind itself is concerned, a mental construct on the same level as any other mental constructs.
one can infer information through experience and 3xp3rimentation, but that is a secondary function of the mind as far as i can reason: the main functions being reactive, instinctual, learned habits and assumptions made from the subjective experiences the mind has had .
the mind itself, only fundamentally relates to itself, and nothing 3lse.
it can sort and catogerize information, but to the mind, 3v3rything is fundamentally just information and sensations.. mental processes. the mental processes of the mind aren't inherently rational either. reasoning and deduction is a higher brain function and not the root tendencies.
so if we forget this nature of the mind and psyche, then the way we interact and aid others will be limited .
the first layer of gaining depth may be that we look beyond our personal bias and act professionally
the second may be that we look beyond the bias and limitations of our culture and society
the third may be to look beyond our own idea of objectivity and reject the notion that our sensory experiences and concepts are anything else than activity occuring in the mind.
knowing that the mind build on itself and it's own self-reflec5ion and sees all 8nfo4mation through the lenses of it's own previous assumptions, thq5 all information 8s tainted by this previous 3xp3ri3nc3, and acknowledging that deductiv3 reasoning is a learned skill, then imo, it becomes 3qsi34 to help people.
one has to meet the patient where they are. one cannot 3xp3ct them to have the same capabilities and view of the world as 9neself.
and one should not compare the view of world of a patient to the general populace either, other than for the sake of assessing functional ability.
inherently, the mind is unique, and when working with people it is important 5hat we work with the mind itself, the psyche, the experiential body that constitutes an individual conscious experience of life.
in many ways, behavioural studies (the methodology of researching the mind, not the field of study or it's treatments) are practical, but they leave a lot to be desired and had a fallibility of making rash assumptions which may ignore some of the forementioned points.
i am happy you are taking a more objective approach. my teacher taught me similarly. you have to meet people where they are. if you put your own mental limitations on them, even rational and we'll intentioned..
maybe that leads to ignoring a fact you were unaware of, or erroneously judging something incorrectly
but at the very least, it will severely limit ones ability as a therapist to understand the perspective of the patient and work with them and their mental development from their starting point.
if you 3xpec5 your patient to adapt to you and your own views, then you will only be able to help those who are able to adapt to you.
if this becomes a case where the patient has a fundamentally differing view of reality,
-then seeing the patient only through the lense of realistic reasoning will prevent you from understanding and connecting with their actual development and needs. ie: where you might otherwise have known more in terms of what the patient needed in order to develop deductive reasoning skills, one ends up setting a requirement for the patient to pass in order to receive the treatment, and in some cases, the patient may lack the ability-learned skills to do so.. hence it becomes important to focus on developing the skills that the patient actually needs in order to become more we'll adjusted and healthy.
I love this outlook
I agree. A GP diagnosed my apparent sleep disorder as actually being depression, and recommended Dr Aaron Becks book Feeling Good back in the early 1980s. Just doing a few of the exercises routinely was life transforming. I turned around the repetitive destructive thoughts that I hadn't even known I was having, and this led to positive changes in behavior, mood, and sleep. Thoughts do matter.
Such a refreshing take on CBT. Ive been so frustrated with therapists treating my depression with "just think better." Obsessions? "Oh, those are irrational, think rationally." Like wow thanks, how did i not think of that...
Like, "wow! You surely must think I'm dumb to not realise that the carpets are not going to eat my feet!" Doc, I *know*
It can be bad with doctors as well, even GPs suggest something's being "genetic". The reson I was depressed is not because I inherited any defect gene from my bipolar mother, my depression may be to some degree be hereditary, or maybe I was conditioned to become a depressed halfsociopath from tiptoeing around a person with a psychiatric diagnose in the family, and already from very early childhood adapting to needs of a person with a dysfunctional mind. But it's not genetic.
The legal "insanity" is not about whether a person is deranged but if you can cognitively understand the situation of you're in and a consequence of an action or omission (leaving a toddler in a hot car) you do.
What is typically a person in "psychosis". A very low intellectual development likely would be relevant in some type of crimes. But a 25 year old at an intellectual level of a 5 year old could likely be groomed to criminal acts at sometimes but would not likely be found guilty of fraud but they should not be allowed to be able to sign contracts but needing a legal guardian.
Yes! THANK you! I have ADHD. I’m constantly told to basically talk myself out of task paralysis, for instance, by thinking about the result the previous time I’ve done that task or a similar one. I ALREADY remember how good it felt to complete a task, how easy it was to complete the last time so there was no point in putting it off… Like, do you not understand what ADHD is!? MY. BRAIN. DOESN’T. DO. WHAT. I. ASK. IT. TO!
Greetings. I might be outside my domain here, but I also hate to see people suffer needlessly. I'm a coach with some psych training; I'm not a licensed therapist. That all being said, have your therapist(s) asked you about chronic or complex trauma in your life? For example, have you read through the ACEs profile (Adverse Childhood Experiences)?
Wishing you wellness!
I could not afford a psychiatrist appointment when I was under insured, so my primary doc saw me for the better part of a year touching base and helping me find a medication that work. When something worked or didn’t, she would sit with me and look at medicines that she thought would work and weighed pros and cons. Plus, she gave me encouragement to keep fighting and stick with her to get a solution that works. We eventually found a medication that worked, but the time spent building that relationship and rapport made me realize to approach all my medical concerns like that. So grateful for her.
Sounds like you had an excellent Doctor. You are very lucky!! Hope you have been feeling better. I just stumbled across this video.
@@journeylvr She thankfully is still my primary care doctor, which is why I love Dr. Mike's videos since he promotes the benefits of consistent primary care
Hi Dr Mike, you should have LegalEagle on your podcast! You could talk about the insanity defense, maybe the legal specifics of Roe being overturned alongside the medical side, I would love to see a full conversation between a medical and legal expert (I know y’all have done a few vids before, but would love a full podcast episode!)
Seconded!
Yes!!
I think NatalieLawyerChick would be a better choice as she is a public defender.
Yeah Legal Eagle would be helpful on this topic. I once had a partner try to get away with terrible behavior using the insanity card. He gone lol.
He did, didn't he? I seem to remember they debate which was harder, medical school or law school.
Not even Half way through this Podcast but I can already say EVERYONE needs to watch this and really hear what is being said!
❤ Absolutely ❤
I had to share
Just another perspective on Better Help. I'm american but live overseas in a country where access to a therapist is a 6 month waiting list if you're loosely thinking of self harm. I simply burned out from managing my T1D and needed to talk to someone. Over 14 months wait because I "wasn't an emergency". Even getting in somewhere private with self pay was well over 6-12 months wait because my issues weren't a priority. So Better Help may be imperfect but it meant I didn't have to keep stewing in my own head while ignoring anything having to do with numbers that wasn't diabetes related (taxes, company administration, marketing statistics, etc) because I literally didn't have the spoons. PLUS I didn't need to have insurance in the US. So I do think it has a place.
I understand that struggle with T1D. I let it go for a while cause I stopped caring, almost died with a sugar of 1200. Still struggle controlling it now and have some issues starting that I cannot let get worse. I aint even 30 yet. Close though.
Try looking into other country's solutions for this. In Romania we have online platforms where big clinics provide access to licenced therapists. The cost is signifficantly lower than in western Europe or US. And you can find English speaking therapists of course.
Thank you.
I am too lazy to write all the benefits of BH for me. But there sure are several.
I am also not in the US, so I wonder if it is related 😅
The ethical situation he did not get specific on was "data mining the therapy session". Also they pay therapists like they were not specialists, and they are. Shenanigans like only paying for 45 min sessions, requiring 24 hr access by text message, etc. It's very poor. But data mining in the therapy session just makes it a hard no.
I understand the accessibility standpoint. But BH has a lot of ethical and safety issues. Mickey Atkins has a good video outlining all of it. It has come out that BH collects sensitive data from their patients that they promise to keep safe, and sells it to other companies. They use the lack of accessibility to therapy as a way to make a lot of money while exploiting people, and while pretending to want to help. Therapists get paid a shockingly low amount for their services, and although less relevant if your personal experience has been positive, there are many stories of people encountering awful therapists if they were actual therapists at all. I can imagine it's extremely frustrating to need a service and not be able to access it, but BH should be boycotted in my opinion. A similar platform could work, but unfortunately with all these shady things I doubt BH specifically has good intentions.
I didn't realize how hungry I've been for civil, quiet discourse. My head is spinning while I weep with joy! Great video.
He was already doing well being a guest of doctor Mike, but he won me over when he said: "tell stories about our scars, not our wounds"! Beautiful line! I appreciate it so much! We need to chose carefully the people to share and process our wounds! ❤
As a trained clinical psychologist i would recommend this episode to everyone who doesn't understand what therapy truly is and the system we work in. Amazing podcast. Love from Spain ❤
Just curious do you agree with what he said about affirmations and positive thoughts? To me it seems like positive self talk and affirmations can solve a lot of negative beliefs
@@tremaynetyler947 do you mean when he says thoughts don't matter? And the affirmation being "helping you into not having a problem"?
(I'm also a psychologist, I mean it doesn't matter in regards to the response but just wanted to clarify). The dr was pretty on point in regards to whether a positive thought helps you or not. While in some cases it can help you it can also be something that only works as a temporary solution to an underlying situation.
Obviously the issue here is that it will probably require being conscientiously aware of your own situation or have a second pair of eyes that can help you understand any other underlying situation that you can potentially have a blindspot to.
Remember, not everything works for everyone, and not every method is effective for everything or everyone, so this will depend on the professional to determine if they have the tools to help others or if it requires a referral to another professional with a different set of tools available to them.
I appreciate how Dr. Mike kind of pushes his questions to get an answer. He isn't afraid to ask hard questions and have people explain things even if they are uncomfortable things, but he does it in a kind way. We really need that in conversations generally, but especially in medicine.
I also appreciate that he's fine with the details. No pat and easy answers. And yes, we've not done well by our mental health systems. Reagan closed a bunch of county catchment facilities, which weren't great, God knows, but were something. We were supposed to follow up by creating smaller, neighborhood-centered facilities, but of course that never happened. States that saw the value spent the money as much as possible, but a lot of poorer states didn't. So there's little intervention in those areas.
One of my very best friends is a (now retired) minister, and I am an atheist. At one point early in our friendship, I told her I appreciated her not proselytizing me. She said, that’s easy; ministering is my job, and I’m off the clock right now. More people would be happier if, like Dr Ali and my friend, people would pay more attention to occasionally turning off their profession and just being people. Great talk, by the way!
I just had the ability to make friends with some atheists recently and their explanation to me about it was stemming from trying to fight racism because they felt religion helped create and fuel racism. Having faith my entire life helped me understand them more and appreciate their efforts to try and help end racism.
@lillybarnett4027 yeah, I'm Christian myself and considering how much taking over territory stealing and enslaving was marketed to the masses as evangelizing. To the point the mind set that physical punishment and killing was justified into "we brought them to Jesus and if they are ungrateful then Jesus will have to deal with them himself"
@@lillybarnett4027 I find the history of racism and religion in America very interesting because very, very religious people were on both sides.
My saying is always, "This is what works for me, but every person needs something that is personalized. What works for me may not work for you."
This is the most real I’ve ever seen Dr Mike 😳 like, he has dropped the “character” of Dr Mike and you can see the critical thinking and self awareness that got him where he is today. He isn’t naturally “corny”, he chooses to believe that positive outcomes are always possible because that openness could make the world a better place. He chooses hope.
This conversation may not get the most views:) but as a psychology grad student it was so fascinating to listen to. I kept getting excited to look at the progress bar and see that I still had more video to watch! I really love the tone of this conversation, and it might now be possible with every guest because I think Mike had really great chemistry with this gentleman:) but I absolutely love the “two high best friends just talk about all the world’s problems” vibe that this episode had! 😂
I love the talk about language. I'm blonde, I have blond hair, I'm autistic, I have autism, I'm blind, I have blindness, it's all the same to me. Adjectives describe, they don't limit. Even as a non-content creator I get anxious about being yelled at saying the "wrong" thing. If it matters to someone I'm happy to use their preferred language to describe them. How they ask matters more than what they ask imo
I don't have autism but I have severely debilitating ADHD and I have a long list of diagnosed and undiagnosed health issues.
For me, labels are incredibly important firstly for validation but also understanding myself. I think knowing labels having to do with others and being even a little bit educated on those labels allows me to be understanding and accommodating and respectful of others.
To me, labels don't always mean identiy as if identifying as something excuses you from something or being complacent in not trying to improve etc. Labels are descriptors and facts.
I identify as someone with severe ADHD, someone with hearing loss, someone with chronic pain and mobility issues, as someone with IBS and a Christian.
I also have many other labels but these are the biggest things that have influence over my life. But just because I identify myself as a Christian does not excuse me from judging others, just because I identify as having severe ADHD doesn't mean I don't try or that I don't actively try to improve. Just because I have chronic pain does not mean I am content with staying in pain- I want to get better!
Etc...
Being a survivor of a three times suicide attempts and suffering from PTSD, depression and panic disorder I want to say thank you for talking about how much mental health can affect your life!
Doctor Mike, you are a great interviewer. Thoughtful questions and allowing interviewees to fully answer questions and vice versa. Most people don't allow full answers because they are just waiting for their turn to speak or they are obviously trying to control the narrative. It's so refreshing to see this format evolve after so much negative social media
As someone with OCD, affirmations and “pulling myself up by the boot straps” just caused different compulsions. I started to create what we’d call good habits that just turned into compulsions just as terrifying as any other compulsion.
It’s interesting how I kind of learned how to overcome some things in my generalized anxiety disorder after I learned how to socialize dogs by creating positive experiences for them with certain stimuli. I learned that for me, overcoming certain anxiety triggering situations, I had to resocialize by brain by proactively creating positive associations with things that trigger my anxiety.
i like this. can you please elaborate by giving an example that worked for you?
That's kind of similar to exposure therapy!
Behavior science in action. Very cool❤
What I loved most about this conversation is that it doesn't have a single yes or no answer and still it gives so many relatable answers. There are no definitive answer to what's what in mental health because there are so many of us and approaching it with deep conversations like this seems helpful. Thanks again, Dr. Mike!
As someone diagnosed with Asperger's, I've been greatly influenced by the Stoics to not allow words to control me. I see way too many people these days take offense at the most trivial things, like how someone refers to them. I say this with a lot of love: you will be so much happier when your self-worth isn't dependent on peoples' approval of you. I'm not saying this is easy, it's like a muscle that needs continued use, but trust me your Future Self will thank you for it. ❤
It depends on the circumstances though. Strangers sure. Your parents? Whole different story. Or if those people are invalidating your existence to the point where they actively make laws to deny it.
@@technicaldifficulties368Your parents and to a degree legislators are the folk you hope most would care for you. Lots of folk are finding out it's not a very deep caring in their experience. Shame to see
@@technicaldifficulties368 Basically, you can't detach hard enough to make other people's insanity disappear.
As an LCSW I loved everything about this episode! So refreshing to hear sanity on mental health on the inter webs. At least until you got to the thoughts don’t matter to an EMDR therapist 😂
I'm an Occupational Therapy student and Dr. Ali's point to creating developmental milestones related to mental health is CRITICAL and something that I have thought about for years. This inspired my topic for my capstone project before officially becoming an OT and I could not be more excited
I used to want to be an Occupational therapist. That was my dream job long ago. Good luck! I hope he gives you some helpful answers. Do you have a facility type in mind?
I'm a masters level psychologist in Kansas and one of my struggles in working in community mental health is that scope and experience are a hard box to stay inside. We take all of the clients because we are the county mental health option. I may not have expertise in schizophrenia for example, but someone has to see these people and they may not have the resources to go to someone more specifically training.
I'm a Better Help therapist (LCSW). I enjoy it and take pride in my work, and have been able to help many that either don't have access or are too anxious to see someone face to face. I know it's not for everyone, and I have encouraged some to transition to a face to face person when more attention and specialty is needed.
And like everything, I know I am not the right therapist for everyone, and at times others on that platform may be much better. I do try my best to tailor everything to the individual, and ensure they're safe and receive the treatment they need.
I do wish we had the option to go down to every other week instead of weekly as only current option.
May I ask a question since you work at BetterHelp, I was paying for my friend to see a therapist through that company and it was quite affordable however every time she connected with someone they would leave and start their own practice and she would be left again without a therapist. So disheartening for her and frustrating for me. What is the deal? Is it a place for new therapists to cull patients from or what’s the deal?
@@swals05able we're hired as contractors by them-- getting 1099's instead of w2's. I can see how many people would use at least the idea to be applied towards starting their own business. There are some that stay on long term, others only as part time or temporary. I've been asked before how long I expected to be around by new patients before and I do answer honestly, which for me is I will be available for the next 6-12 months minimum, perhaps longer, based on current patients and outside work. I encourage her to be up front in asking this, as I don't know many therapists (hopefully none!) that would take offense to this question.
You're probably saving lives. Bravo
My son’s best friend is on the autism spectrum as is his younger brother. Friend is very high on the spectrum, graduated high school & college with honors. His brother is very low on spectrum, non verbal, can follow simple instructions with lots of patience & compassion, will never be able to live on his own. Their sister, younger brother’s twin, is not on the spectrum, going to college, working part time. Strange how far the range can be for siblings
Son’s friend is his brother’s caretaker. Friend takes his brother places , plays video games with him. Brother really enjoys going with Friend & Son when Son takes his dog to dog park
I had a very interesting discussion with my youngest sister, who unlike me and the rest of my siblings is not on the spectrum. Something that came up is the possibolity that she has internalized some autistic behaviour because she was raised with autistic people as her primary social contacts growing up. Might have been, in effect, raised autistic.
@@jordanetherington1922i’ve thought this! while me, my brother and younger sister all have autism at different levels, my twin sister doesn’t. but she definitely has some kinda learned behaviours from growing up it’s us, even tho she isn’t on the spectrum, it’s crazy
16:35 I remember when I reached out for a bipolar diagnosis and went through work with my primary doctor and then psychologist…it was so freeing. I could finally understand why I behaved the way I did and handled things the way I did for the previous ten years. It wasn’t an excuse or a way of explaining it away, but it made me less hard on myself and more self aware. Basic CBT and the right medications really helped me move forward. Also, having doctors that listened/heard me was irreplaceable.
This is what people don’t understand… that putting a name on it doesn’t mean you’re going to stop trying in life because now you have an excuse. It means you’ll know what it is that you’re fighting and can start attacking that instead of yourself.
I found Dr.Ali a few years ago when my anxiety was at its absolute worst - I couldn’t drive , I couldn’t go into stores , my world was very small . I truly felt it would never improve , this was my life now . I found his videos and his explanations of anxiety , panic attacks etc made me feel so seen , understood & explained how I had been feeling in a way that made me realize other people have felt this way , it’s not impossible to overcome . A couple years later of Therapy, trying different anti anxiety medications and exposure therapy: Now I’m driving , seeing friends and family in other cities , going where I like . My world has expanded & feels like thriving instead of just barely surviving . Thank you Dr.Ali !
Im autistic and have adhd.
I was diagnosed very late on, and I think it was bcs it was outside of the specialties of my doctors.
I was told it was anxiety and depression my whole life. Got put on a lot of meds that either didn't do anything or just left me in a zombie like state. adhd did come up, but since I had good grades they all just told me I couldn't possibly have it.
It took years before my doctors just straight up told me they didn't know how to help me anymore and i got sent to those who could.
If I still had my first therapists and psychiatrists, Id still be thinking I'm a failed weirdo who didn't try hard enough.
same boat. so now what?
I remember the therapist I saw for panic attacks… I told him all the things that were causing me stress and instead of connecting the dots he clearly felt I was doing it all to myself and kept recommending I buy “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.” Like dude, if a coffee table book could have cured PANIC ATTACKS I wouldn’t be paying you… I ended up self-diagnosing because I finally connected those dots myself.
I had the same experience where I would cry everyday doing my homework, because I couldn’t focus or retain information like my friends could, but because I got good grades it was never looked into. My Dad and Brother also had ADHD so they only knew what it looked like in men and figured since I didn’t have issues with aggression and impulse control I was fine.
@@tylerhernandezxxxin sorry you went through that. My daughter (15) was recently diagnosed with ADHD. Her dad was diagnosed in his childhood but you're right, it presents differently in girls. At least with her it did.
@@lisarodriguez6966 sadly largely to the fact that girls are Forced to "behave" from young age
I’m 39 going on 40 & I didn’t know I had anxiety or PTSD till I was 31. My gf and I both go to a counselor individually and together & our relationship has never been better. We have learned our triggers & how to love each other even more, how to not accidentally trigger each others traumas. How to support each others when our triggers are activated.
2:04:27 I'm not a psychologist but this sounds a lot like what I tell other people on how to communicate effectively, if you want someone to understand you then you have to speak to them in their language. That doesn't just mean the literal language they speak, though that helps too lol, but its about the beliefs they hold, the slang they use, the stories they tell themselves, the metaphors they use, context they are steeped in, and just understanding the perspective they have. So I appreciate this being repeated here, its validating and encouraging to hear
I have been struggling with agoraphobia since 2021. I am also a psych grad student (PhD) and I have been struggling all these years that this is just me now and separating myself from the diagnosis. I am also a mother, an animal lover, a motorcycle rider. When something stops you in your tracks when it comes to altering your life by so much, it is hard to not just think, "well this is just me now. this is who I am, it will never change." This specific illness isn't talked about enough but I appreciate that perspective. It made me rethink a lot. Thank you both.
I struggled/struggle with this as well. Progress is possible, but I know what you mean about it becoming your identity. It was so consuming. For what it’s worth, I read a book called Un-Agoraphobic by Hal Matthews that really helped me.
I really enjoyed this conversation. As someone with agoraphobia and anxiety, it is always helpful in a way just to hear it mentioned and know that I’m not alone with my issues. As someone with no income or insurance, a lot of these problems you’ve discussed cut very close to home. After a lifetime of self reflection and self education, I know it’s very important to have professional people putting accurate information out there to help combat the mountains of misinformation, so thank you both for doing that.
Having kids: Just Like you have to take a test to get your drivers license. Parents need to be taught the basics before having kids. I thought parents would know basic things , but then I realized they don't causing alot of problems down the line🤧 .True stuff here.
there's no way you could enforce that without dystopia level government overreach
@bobowon5450 maybe mandatory training but no licensure. Less of a system of automatically taking away kids at birth or something dystopian but. Kids deserve better.
I am a teacher by trade but currently stay at home mom. It's tough but following conversations like this is so helpful to my life and mind. I have no relationship to the medical field but i am here for learning. Thank you for what you do! Both of you are so polite and professional!
The best therapist I ever had was a social worker, he only possessed a master's degree. He maneuvered me through my EMDR therapy and changed my life.
I'm really glad they talked about treating outside your scope. I had a therapist abandon me, stating that I needed a higher level of care that she couldn't provide. She didn't even directly refer me to anyone. She essentially gave me a 2-weeks notice then dropped me. I continue to question the ethics of this
As a therapist who did my training in residential OCD treatment, thank you for mentioning ERP! The wrong type of therapy for someone with OCD can actually make the OCD worse. I really wish there was more education and training on OCD out there.
Its great how doctor mike spends time to make videos just for the sake of his subscribers! Love from India!❤
I truly wish I had a doctor like you throughout the worst throes of my mental and physical illness. The level of care, humility, and empathy is sadly rare in the profession.
Dr Mattu says that "thoughts do not matter", but then later talks about "labels" and how people internalize an identity, and the things become true (a self-fulfilling prophecy). That is exactly what thoughts do, and why so many people try affirmations and practice being conscious of their thoughts while trying to redirect them. What you focus on becomes what you believe to be true, because that is what you have thought about over and over.
Anyone else addicted these podcasts?
I appreciate the long, mostly untrimmed podcasts! It's really nice when a podcast is a true conversation.
I would say too that seeing a psychiatrist at least once if you have been diagnosed with depression is important. My doctor was treating me for depression for years. After a particularly bad episode the first psychiatrist that I came across told me he felt I was bipolar. Later I found out that my doctor knew I was bipolar but had never put me on the meds that would help, instead giving me SSRIs and never told me that I should go to a psychiatrist . Bipolar tends to get worse the longer it’s not treated. I was 61 when I was finally diagnosed and the right meds have made such a difference.
I WISH more therapists offered DBT in the moment. Definitely conflicted as to how to do so and maintain a sustainable and healthy work life balance, but, I think it can and should be done. Same with CBT.
I absolutely love the fact that Dr. Mike really talks about mental health. He puts the huge emphasis on it. I'm glad he brought this gentleman along and I found him and now I'm following him as well. I think in today's society mental health is not talked about enough and it starts talking about it in areas where people have access to it. This was a great conversation ❤️
This was such a great conversation. I love how you two were able to give each other a little healthy pushback and ask each other challenging questions while also maintaining a productive conversation bolstered with mutual respect. This was so satisfying to listen to.
My BetterHelp therapist changed my life. I can manage my anxiety now, it does not control me.
I have used Better Help and it was a life saver. I am thankful it was an option when I needed help. And would encourage any to keep it as an option.
This is the best episode thus far. Y'all took on some very heavy subjects. I don't feel like many are discussed as in depth as they should be. You still kept things entertaining and thought provoking. The best part from my perspective was both doctors being very upfront about mental health issues not being something that are black and white. I also appreciate that there wasn't a lot of posturing on either doctors part about their expertise. They both know what they know, while acknowledging that they don't know everything. That's integrity and I appreciate it.
Regarding symptoms that do and don't get picked up (adhd vs depression): I became depressed starting somewhere in highschool and was diagnosed after a long struggle with university. It took 10 more years before I thought, "Boy, all these adhd shorts on UA-cam are kind of ringing a bell!", talked to my psychologist, after a few tries he referred me to a psychiatrist, who after a few sessions said: "oh yeah, you definitely have adhd!" Finding out that I have adhd at 32 helped me put years of disappointment with myself into perspective. I don't know if I would have become so depressed if someone had diagnosed me with adhd when I was a child. Although a lot of depressing stuff still happened, so I probably would have 😅 but I think I would have hated myself less
I’m “only” an hour into this and already probably my favorite of the podcast episodes. So much to mull over here!! Thanks for leaving space for the nuance.
I'm only 15 minutes in, but Dr. Mattu is so well-spoken and thoughtful, he was great at explaining deeper concepts that we don't think about everyday
1:04:47 Dr. Mike and Dr. Ali, I’m currently a graduate student earning my PhD in school psychology is this is research I am working on! Finding ways to infuse mental health access/education in the k-12 setting is such an important topic. I have been a part of researching several pilot programs that do just that. It may take another couple years for more peer review to come about from possible programs, but I am hopeful with what I have been seeing and reading!
Hi Bethany🌹🌹
Where are you from
Yes it needs to be talked about in schools more. They have mental health classes at the high schools where I live. There is also many school based mental health where LPC associates meet with the students for mental health. Research on this topic would be very interesting.
im just abt to go into my last semester of my psych bachelor. this timing is perfect .
Only like 40 minutes in and I had to comment… I’m a therapist and I work at a community agency - so I see basically everything. Finding and accessing care is SUCH a problem sometimes. There aren’t even specialists (like trauma, grief, addiction) and there also aren’t even general therapists like me - it’s ridiculous! Insurance runs the show for MH and it’s sad and such a barrier to most people.
Even though I live in Canada and our health care is paid through our taxes, we have a two tier mental health care system. If you can buy services, good for you. If not, get in line with everyone else. Teens who have already attempted to end their lives face a year wait to access services.
I think an important note with identity or person first language is to ask the people affected - it's far more common in the autistic community to prefer 'autistic' than 'person with autism', while the opposite is true for, say family members of autistic people. This is also often true for the disabled community.
Thanks for all the topics! I will say - I just finished BetterHelp. I wasn't sure I needed it, wife said I should try and I did. It was pretty solid from my individual experience, however 4-5 weeks in my therapist said that It didn't seem like I needed the therapy and seemed mentally and emotionally healthy. He had gone over my initial concerns and I said I was good with the review and discussion. This is obviously a single person with a single therapist on the site so loooots of salt. But wanted to share.
One thing to watch out for is a lot of guys have alexithymia which is sort of a color blindless for their internal emotions. So, other guys might find themselves in the same boat, but really have stuff brewing under the surface that the therapist can't see because the patient doesn't even know it's there.
I love the idea of identifying milestones of mental health in the person’s annual or routine check-up (or at school’s per semester or annually… maybe just like you would get an end of semester test, maybe get a end of semester mental health test/survey/interview). You could see how certain areas change, develop, resolve, appear or get worse. This should definitely be a thing.
That is basically how it’s done in most of the reshab homes I’ve worked in.
As far as I’m aware, most counseling environments will do this also, as not doing so would allocate for ineffective treatment.
I am a life coach using the Enneagram personality system to support people with their mental health journey. I think it's a pity that many psychologists/therapists don't realise how useful a system like this can be. Granted, many psychologists/therapists do use it with great success with their clients. The whole point of a system like this is NOT to put you in a 'type box', but to show you the personality box you're stuck in and help you to FREE yourself from old patterns and traits that are not healthy and helpful. I think it's ironic and a shame that he speaks about misinformation and ignorance, not understanding that systems like the Enneagram is an incredible tool to assist people in supporting and assisting their mental, emotional and even physical health. Like any system/tool/discipline (psychology) included, there will be people who misuse it. It should be evaluated on a personal basis, not be subjected to blanket statements.
honestly talking about how great dbt it is wanted to run around celebrating like my bpd was so uncontrolled and mismanaged and nothing was seeming to help outside of lightly numbing myself with medication. dbt changed everything it was so so helpful to managing myself, being independent, learning why and how things were happening just life changing
Is the reality.. it hurts but is the truth.
I can imagine that helping children in schools or facilities may be difficult when parents are part of the problem. Great content!
This is mu first time encountering Dr. Ali and i pray its not the last. This dude is all the energy
That’s such an interesting take on the DO degree and patient reactions. I get a lot of new patients coming to me saying “I’m so glad you’re a DO. I want a more homeopathic doctor.” Oh no. I’m not a naturopath. I’m a real doctor. There’s a lot of rhetoric out there somewhere saying that DOs don’t do real, actual scientific medicine, apparently. My residency was also dual MD/DO, and I don’t utilize OMT in my practice for billing and malpractice issues, and that has angered several patients, as recently as yesterday.
I just whisper-screamed "EXACTLY!!" during the affirmations/manifestations part like some repressed frustrations just escaped my soul. So, thank you both.
I loved this podcast! I'd love to see more like this where you talk with other health professionals about different issues.
I've learned I'm autistic two years ago, at my 30's. Regarding how to address us, as others also wrote here, I think we should respect each person's preferred way (just as pronouns!). It's such an important aspect of our lives, whether we take it as an identity or as something we "have", it still has that same importance. It's something that (might) has helped us get the resources we needed, that helped us understand so many things out of life. If I were to meet someone that I know is on the spectrum (and the subject just comes up), then I would just ask them, "do you prefer autistic/aspergers/person vs. identity first?". I don't think it's disrespectful and in many ocasions it's going to be out on it's own (like: "oh, so you know I'm autistic and..."). And that's your hint.
I would be delighted to see a podcast with you and an autistic activist talking in a respectful manner about this! There's so much controversy and kind of "hate" (so to say) even inside the community (and I think it's because there are so many different radical positions, and luckly some not so radical or not radical at all). I think it could be kind of a start for healing some of the generational trauma that's obviously out there.
In regards of the "mental health milestones", I think we should be careful. I don't think it's a bad idea itself but developmental milestones have taken us to a system that punishes difference. For example, neurodivergents not being accepted into regular schools or, if accepted, being blamed for all the difficulties that arises. There are schools that when an autistic student is bullied constantly or can't make friends, teachers call the autistic parents to tell them this person school is not a good fit for the kid, instead of trying to integrate the group and actually call out the bully :/
It's scary to imagine what would happen if we say that "every person should meet this or that milestone by this or that age". We are in a society that's still very discriminatory towards difference and tends to turn everything into a pathology as if it were the most undesired thing.
I do think the conversation should take place, schools should have into its agenda normalizing mental health. ESI (integral sex education, I'm a Spanish speaker) is a great place to take it into account. ESI is not just about teaching what comes with reproduction, it's also about teaching how gender is perceived in society, how to respect the other person despite what a society might impose, how to relate to others, whether it's a romantic relationship or not. That's a good S.ED
If we use this spaces to teach emotional intelligence, besides the obvious S.ED when needed, how much an improvement we could have in regards of mental health (and in general as a society!)
Edit: regarding how to name us in videos, I think you could just choose one and explain why you're using it. Or maybe even you could interexchange them (in the same video use with autism and autistic). If it's a video about someone who's actually on the spectrum you could see beforehand how they've called themselves, and if there's no data and you would prefer not to choose between identity vs person first, you could just say autism spectrum.
2:04:52 Not Dr. Mike talking about his moon and sun sign. 😊 I study astrology and I appreciate the respect of you guys speaking about astrology.
I'm at 02:26 and already have something to say...
Dr.s. as someone who suspects having ADHD it's really difficult to verify what's true and what's false. I always take social media health care information with a grain of salt. That's why, I'm so glad you addressed this subject with ADHD specifically as and example because, I'm just putting stuff aside to verify the data with books later. I don't believe most of what I see. Doesn't take away the fact that seeing people struggle with stuff I struggle too, is comforting.
Thank you for talking about all of that!
I’m a licensed clinical social worker and therapist and I have had so many thoughts while listening! But really, I just appreciate this conversation.
One point about betterhelp I’d like to add is that their compensation for their therapists is very poor. They would be better compensated if they joined a group practice.
Well now I'm following Dr. Ali❤
Thanks Dr. Mike.
I consider myself an Independent Mental Health Peer Advocate for 25 years. I didn't see Parity, physical vs mental, back then , i still don't see it.
A Brain injury is like all other organs. I don't believe people are feeding themselves the proper nutrition. Lots O'Love from Alaska 💜🦅💜
This is one of the best modern mental health conversations I have seen on the internet.
when i tutored in college there were so many women who minimized their own value because they lived under that thumb their whole lives. yes i wrote a positive affirmation on an index card for them. back then we called it encouragement... my first class in college was Engish Literature. after a paper that i wrote, my english professor told me that i was 'scholarship material.' mind u, i didnt believe it for a second [at the time] but i was so excited that she thought so lol. it was uplifting. i danced up and down my hallway shouting, 'i'm scholarship material' and laughing. she was right. in time i got a Pell grant and graduated nursing school cum laude. thank you Professor Carol Bachman, god rest ur soul.
The data leaks and taking advantage of betterhelp users, and worse that they do but try to push it under the rug also is deeply worrying
🦋🙌I will to listen your podcast for speaking English because I'm learn English now
My language arabic so if you want learn Arabic I can help you😇
Have nice day and stay happy and healthy 🙌🦋🇩🇿
From my experience, I agree with Dr. Ali's point about finding someone with actual experience in your condition, because there are plenty of mental health professionals who feel like all you did was waste money to see someone who can't actually help you, or who give you counterproductive advice and treatment that you wouldn't have taken had you known there was someone else who actually understood your condition
The part about CBT really explained why I don't find it too useful, I can change my thought all I want, my thoughts can be all positive, but then I get frustrated about the pure physical experiences that I cannot change that's actually causing me the negative thoughts
I was told if the experience you are having is due to your situation, for example an external factor like bullying is causing your mental health problem, then CBT isn't the solution. You need to get out of the situation first then see what your mental state is to see what therapy is likely to work.
Yes, it needs to be taught in school along with nutrition and finance.
The thing with finance, capitalism wants you to be unwise with credit.
@@coinsilver3Finance is a required high school credit in the USA
@@coinsilver3 The thing about credit and finance is that it involves calculus, which most people will ignore even when it's taught.
I have listened to this 3x now during my commute and each time something new stands out to me. These conversations are so important ♥️
The scars vs wounds thing is so true. Whrn I transitioned at 20 (over a couple decades ago) one of thd only jobs I could get was at an LGBT youth center (they were not very trans competent) as a public speaker educating people on trans.
When friends asked what i did for work i said "I justify my existence to other ppl for $".
Even sex work was more empowering.
I would be so thrilled if he brought on Jonathan Decker from Cinema Therapy. I think Jono would be a great guest to continue this discussion about mental health/psychology in the digital space, social media and content creation.
Long form content, lets go!!! Stoked for this analysis
Thanks for the ERP shout out! And acknowledging the challenges with people treating folks with OCD out of their area of competence! This is such a huge problem for folks who benefit from a specific type of treatment!
i will credit this for a lot of great information. missing is the gap between traditional healthcare and therapy as too often health care providers position therapy to fill the void a healthcare provider isnt able to fill.
sometimes healthcare providers are negligent and use the you 'need therapy card' to avoid any sort of self awareness in their actions in response to patient statements/concerns sometimes to point of gaslighting the patient. i experienced this with a few consecutive providers b/c less obvious allergic reaction to medication binder that i discovered later - therapy is not appropriate treatment for medical negligence or allergic reactions.
For a couping mechanism, try to remember a song of Sheryl Crow, "If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad, if it makes you happy then why the hell are you so sad" you know if its also not hurting others but thats not as rhythmical.
All the legit guys are getting together.
Great topic and great conversation. Thank you Dr. Mike for choosing this topic and thank Dr. Ali for his insite.
49:09 Someone once said If your brain keeps thinking about something don't ignore it ,explore it. I had a few odd simple thoughts that I ignored then they demanded my attention, so I explored them best thing I ever did🤗. I believe thoughts matter!!!🎉
On the mushroom thing: I have a coworker that does this on purpose to mess with people. She knows it's not true, but she's downright serious in the delivery. Every. Single. Time. And I have no shame in calling her out since we are both pharmacists. She did know better, she just didn't like mushrooms and loves messing with the techs.
Thank you both! I felt, I waited too long to get my daughter into see someone but late is better then never. Unfortunately, I did not know the importance of mental health in children and did not get her into see someone when my ex and I went through our divorce; the dissolution of our family took its toll on all of us. When she was living with her dad in another state and started cutting was one of the worst things that I have ever dealt with and I was trying to schedule appointments for someone that lived 1200 miles away, she moved back home so I could manage her care. The problem still continues with insurance issues and not being allowed to see someone that specializes in each aspect of your needs. She has medical based anxiety, hypochondria, and depression seeing someone for her everyday needs and someone for more targeted care is not covered. It is not a one size fits all treatment and that is how insurance sees mental health care, in my opinion.
I love your videos keep up the hard work.
Just watched the video. I love that you put that subject on the table. I think it is as important as our physical health. We struggle in Canada and its free so I can't imagine in the US.... We need to heal this generation before we can profit on the next one... Thanks Dr. Mike & Dr. Ali !
YAAAASSS!!!! School-based DBT!✊️
"Not my fault, but it is my responsibility" 👊