My Intense First Therapy Session with my Mom
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- Опубліковано 10 бер 2021
- Firstable, thank you so much to Beth for the warm guidance on display in this video. My mom and I are truly grateful to have taken our first steps in therapy together. I can’t express what it means to me that my mom agreed to seek help with me. It was scary, sad, extremely painful, but most importantly, healing. And to our Fam who’ve reached out with support over the past weeks: we love you with all our hearts. Thank you for believing in us, hunnay! #Therapy
For more information on Beth: www.bethkadlec.com
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Kin Original Series. - Навчання та стиль
Have you ever gone to therapy with your family?
ive been in and out of therapy myself since i was 12. I had a traumatic childhood and have anxiety & depression & border line personality disorder. So for me i need to learn to cope with all my emotions. As a family we are open with our feelings and solving issues with eachother. My brother and sister see their own therapists dealing with their lives. Therapy is a such a helpful outlet!!!!
No but would love to start
Never went to therapy. But this is an eye opener. Thank you for sharing Jeannie 🤗
Nope. Im trying to suggest my mom to go to therapy for herself, hopefully then we can go together (shes like Mama Mai- doesnt want to spend money lol)
My sister and i want to go to therapy together.
This episode was a lot of unpacking. How ur mom makes u feel, my mom makes me feel. I dont know if we will ever go to therapy and fix our issues. Hopefully we can
I sorta went to a therapy with my mother. Sort of, meaning it was more of like a spiritual therapy because I’m telling you only God could of heeled and fix me and my mothers relationship, haha. It was that bad but I am so thankful for it because now as an adult I get to hug and kiss my mom and be vulnerable with her. It was something I wish I could do as a child but we were both so hot temper so it was crazy. But yeah I am so happy to see you guys took this step and it looks like it’s going in the right direction.
I feel like Mamma Mai needs to first go for therapy on her own, with a Vietnam therapist with whom she can speak her own language with. Because I feel like there's a lot that she needs to unpack, and language (English) is a barrier, so she could be struggling to share her true and deep thoughts/feelings/emotions thoroughly. Having a session where she can open up in her own language could take us a step forward.
That would be Amazing! But I get the feeling it might be hard finding a Vietnamese therapist who is right fit for Mama Mai. I think this is where god comes into the picture because there’s definitely a language barrier for Mamma Mai.
That would be great but honestly she may not go until she sees how this helps in my experience my grandmother would've never just gone to therapy I had to hold her accountable and make her feel like it was for me for her to try it. She still won't go alone but sometimes our sessions are really just her sessions which I'm fine with.
I was thinking the same thing
@@jasminevaliente94 I hear you, but I think if someone just slowly explains to her everything in her own language, the conversation might be slightly different. The expression will be different. Even if it's not with a therapist per say.
I was thinking the same
Mama Mi, FORGIVE!!....forgive yourself and LOVE your daughter. And its FREE!!!
Unfortunately there are a lot of moms who truly will never love their daughters due to many reasons.
I think she’s trying but based on her trauma, she never was taught how to love. I’m praying for both of them.
Its always easier said than done
Forgiveness is the best gift ever!
Jeannie is manipulative and toxic
I think that Mama Mai was raised in such a way that her voice was never heard and this has been ingrained in her. It's not that she doesn't want to understand Jennie, she can't. It's the way her mind functions. She also feels like her daughter doesn't understand her. They are both seeking to be understood.
Mama Mai: raised in a culture where emotions are not considered as much. Parents are not supposed to be challenged and certainly not infront of other people.
She feels violated and helpless. She feels bad for not understanding her daughter so well so she blames herself. She feels as though she's a bad person.
Jennie: Has had exposure to other ways of thinking. Her mom's behavior is deeply affecting her coz her mom is the one person she is mostly close to and proud of. She yearns for that validation, understanding and acceptance from her mom. But she is not fully aware that her mom cannot give to her something she doesn't have.
Her mom was never validated or accepted by her parents/father. So all of these are foreign concepts to her.
I feel like both Jennie and Mama Mai need healing. Mama Mai especially.
Sometimes we think the effects of abuse are shortlived but that's not true. Mama Mai is still affected by her past life of abuse.
I appreciate their transparency coz it's also helping us make sense of the things we are also facing
From everything I've seen I read on this topic, you have given the perfect summation in my opinion, this is 💯❤
yes right on!. my parents are vietnamese and as a child I literally always yell b/c I feel like no one is listening. I got that from my dad. asian parents (the older generation) do not know american things aka mental health is important
This is perfection. 15 min in and fully understood that.
Mama Mai doesn't know how express her feelings because growing up she wasn't allowed to, hence, she doesn't allow her daughter to express her feelings also. She is a good woman but she is hurting as much as Jeannie. This world of feelings and affirmations is very new to her.
She feels helpless especially since many people will see this, which completely demolishes her concept of motherhood; being respected, regardless.
And all these comments may be worsening her feelings of helplessness and feeling like a bad person. Coz she doesn't understand this the way we do.
So it's the world against her.
So let's be sensitive to her as much as we are sensitive to Jeannie
Phenomenal analysis indeed.!!
"Change is a process, not an event " WOW that’s REAL!!!
In child development, I learned to ask “What made you mad?” Instead of “Why are you mad?”. “Why” makes it feel like the person is accusing me for feeling a certain way. The “What” way is trying to understand my feelings.
I love this!
never thought of it like that.. i always try to be conscious of how I say things when I talk to my toddler, so will keep this in mind.
Wow so insightful I'll keep that in mind thanks ❤🙏
Thank you! I am using this with my husband and kids!!
Yes, that totally makes sense, I will abide to that. Thank U 😊🙏🏼
The therapist needs to get ready for a busy year. She’s amazing.
She’s most likely not open to new clients. She’s phenomenal!
Mamma Mai is impossible like got dammit your her mother ... fuuuuuck
I think Mama Mai needs to realize that statement “you’re not my daughter” holds so much power. Jeannie is an adult and living her life, but she will ALWAYS need her Mama. They both have so much trauma they need to work through separately and then begin to be able to understand why certain things affects them in a certain way. When y’all said “I love you” at the end it made my heart so happy. I praying that through this therapy you guys are able to mend your relationship and work through all your problems and have a better relationship than you had before ♥️
I cringe every time she says it and want to cry. It’s such a hurtful thing to say.
I've heard my parents say that a lot growing up it's like whenever i have an opinion about what they did wrong they would think that i am just being rude. Which i am not. It's just how my parents grew up. It's sad i cannot imagine how their parents treated them growing up.
I don't think she meant it I'm that sense she should have said your a tough strong minded woman who could stand up for yourself even against me
@@autumnloverjenn8859
She said what she said.
She meant what she said.
Her actions are congruent with her words.
21:40“ she didn’t actually say anything about you” ...silence.... “ oh” shit literally gave me CHILLS
I feel like Mama Mai needs to go to therapy on her own, one on one with a counselor/therapist first before trying to go to therapy with her daughter. Based on what I’ve heard, it sounds like she has a lot of deep rooted issues from her past with her father (understandably so), that she can’t seem to let go of. Each time Jeannie tries to explain her feelings, Mama Mai finds a way to make it about herself and focuses solely on how Jeannie made HER feel. She’s not even trying to understand her daughter’s point of view. What’s crazy is, I definitely believe the way Jeannie feels about her voice being unheard and her feelings being uncared about are the same feelings Mama Mai felt growing up with her own abusive father.. there’s so much healing to be done. Praying for the both of you to come out of this stronger and closer with a healthier relationship and a better understanding for one another. 🙏🏼❤️
Sounds a lot like how my mom is too. Though she never talks about her relationship with her own parents. Except from what I can see she and my grandmother are sooooo alike which is why they don’t get along!
Agree with you! My fam too, and it’s crazy how you see kids end up if when they have more than one, there would be one who end up to be exactly like the parent or exactly the opposite, one chooses to not be like the parents in any way possible, and the other can’t help but to become like their parents
I agree!!!!
@@glamuraiteam9851 yes I agree. Trigger is happening in our country literally and that why we are so divided period. People get so trigger and offend bases on past upbringing. That unfortunately carries into current relationships 😕.
If I was Jeannie needs to break completely free from that nut job. She’s not looking for help, she wants the total lime light. Jennie run away and block her, she will not change ever
Unfortunately this type of family dynamic is common in many asian households. There is a level of respect younger individuals must uphold when dealing with their elders. Sadly therapy is still frowned upon by older generations but I do believe that it plays a HUGE role in addressing generational healing. Kudos to you & Mama Mai for being down to undergo therapy!🤍
Agree with you 1000%
Fact 🥲
Not just asians
@@avamiller1245 was gonna say that too. My mom won't even go... My dad was reluctant.
In the African American community as well. Speaking our thoughts and feelings is seen as "talking back".
Those of us here berating Mama Mai and saying Jeannie should cut her off should take a second look at what’s happening here. Mama Mai is a broken woman with so many bleeding wounds from her own relationship with her parents. She’s carrying too much baggage and so it’s not that she’s toxic with her daughter. She just can’t give what she doesn’t have. Until she heals from her own situation with her parents, she will never be able to give Jeannie what she’s looking for or need from a mother.
You hit the nail on the head. My parenting wasnt the best because i never healed from my own childhood trauma.
Exactly! As the expression goes, “hurt people hurt people”. And for anyone reading who may not get it... the first hurt is an adjective as in “a hurt person” and the second hurt is a verb as in “hurting people”. A rewrite would be “a hurt person hurts other people”. She never resolved her own shit, never learned the emotional tools to communicate better, and passed all of that down to her own daughter.
Everyone has issues. You don't get to destroy people. Think of it as an addict. You don't let them destroy you. You tell them that the cost of being in your life is to be healthy. You can be compassionate without letting people allow yourself to be dragged down
I totally agree and one thing that should be remembered is Jeanie was afforded advantages her mother did not receive. Someone mentioned Jeanie lives in a mansion and she does but her mother did not at Jeanie's age. Jeanie/Jay can afford therapy her mother always kept it real that she is cheap and I think that stems from her upbring. My mom (rest in peace) was abused as a child and the fact that I worked in a hospital and had the resources my mother did not at my age helped me understand and have compassion for my mom. I pray Jeanie and Momma Mai let God walk with them through this journey. God bless!
@@peachesandpoets 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Oooof.....”She actually didn’t say anything about you.” “Oh....” THAT is the core of this relationship issue. Beth is so good. This is beautiful. Best to you and Mama Mai. The work is starting!! ❤️💔👊🏼
Omg that part got me like oooofff too. And i came to realization that not just Mama Mai, many people and even myself at times we felt so much that we feels like what they SAID is interpreted by us in a different way just because we felt that way. So when Beth was like she didn't say that was like oh shit ya Jennie didn't say that even though that's how Mama Mai felt. I think if anyone could be calm enough to just listen to exactly what someone say instead of feeling attack by interpreting the word differently, then many argument would have not go side ways because when you interprete what someone say differently it just makes the person who interprete it feels very attack
Ooooooooof lol
I learned A LOT with this session... Jeannie is paying the bill for thousands of viewers... I hope there is more therapy sessions 😌❤️🇨🇦
Totally agreed.
Uff
I feel the same way! My mom and I have a similar dynamic. Thank you Jeannie... For sharing with us... For being open and vulnerable. You definitely helped somebody.
Yessss
Couldn't have said it better. I learned so much 💛
“You can always cut me off at any time” - I think that line is a breakthrough in of itself. Mama’s reaction to cut ties only worsens Jeannie’s thoughts regarding feeling unimportant and unheard. Knowing someone is willing to leave instead of just validating your right to your own feelings can never give participants in the relationship a sense of stability, comfort, and safety. I love how Mama said “I hear you” near the end. That’s such a great start to breaking the cycle.
It's a first step in the right direction for both of us ❤️
@@HelloHunnay I’m glad and sending both of you only love and positive vibes ❤️
I can’t even express how eye-opening it was to witness this. Jeannie is amazing for being vulnerable, not only about high points in life but also the low ones. These past two episodes has shed light on many important issues that so many people can relate to. In particular, I feel like this is applicable to Asian culture and some of our upbringings. Also, physically showing how therapy can unveil emotions and improve relationships brings light to how amazing therapy can be.
Exactly! Dismantling the taboo around therapy by showing how a real session may look like. Less mystery in the process, more transparency. Hopefully this will encourage more people to seek counseling
Jeannie would do anything to cling to any scabs of love from her mom. Her mom needs to appreciate how good her daughter is before she loses or give her sickness.
Mama said she's embarrassed. I feel like to her, that is the worst feeling. Shame. Her father shamed her in front of the whole community. Please take into account how she was raised. She doesn't want her daughter to shame her. It makes her feel small, embarrassed. Much love to all. I know it's hard. Breath.
Bingo! Shame is at the root of this entire ordeal
I feel that too.
Yes !
Yes! Feeling shame and small are deep rooted issues
no the root of this is mama mai, DOESNT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HER ACTIONS, SHE HAS ZERO AWARENESS. it’s like u can’t even get through to her, she’s not even listening to the therapist, she lets her talk then says smthn out of left field again her own feelings. i’m with jeannie 10000% on this. it’s NOT JEANNIES FAULT, her mother doesn’t take accountability for ANYTHING SHE DOES.!!
Jeannie is truly going to be the best mama ever. She will break the cycle. Healthy boundaries makes the best family.
Yes she has so much wisdom to pass down ! I’m so glad she finally said aloud that she wants to be a mommy on her podcast. I almost cried lol
@@raayden6125 She has a ton of person al insight, God Bless her.
@@raayden6125 omg where can I find the podcast plis reply
@@deborahmurphy4750 It’s called Listen Hunnay on Podcasts if you got an IPhone
I agree. And this only the beginning. We have to tear down these patterns in the family.
Jeanie doesnt trust her mom with her feelings and requires boundaries and a new dynamic because her mom didn’t believe Jeanie when she told her about abuse she suffered when she was young. Her asking for respect from her mom in the way that she has, is what developed from that. Jeanie is protecting herself from ever being hurt and rejected by her mom again.
I’m literally crying - watching the pain in mama Mai and Jeannie just breaks my heart. We all have some pain in our lives, some more than others. But love is the answer and forgiveness is freedom
Same. I was balling
This therapist came THROUGH, Hunnay! The way she guides through this is amazing 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Beth is AMAZING.
I need this therapist in my life!
My therapist is very similar and she changed my life 🙏💕
“Change is a process not an event”
I’m only 7 minutes in but bawling already because that hit very close.
This was another one HARD to watch....but that ONE line...HIT HARD....we don't change over night...
You are not alone😥 This hit really close.
I'm a therapist and it just gives me so much pride in my profession when I see good therapy in action. Wounds begin to heal and hearts begin to open!
Jeanne was getting molested by a family member keeping them while she worked they didn't speak in 8yeas Jeanne told her she didn't believe her iam glad they trying she needs to be at that wedding they got let the past go Jeanne still angry about her childhood she put her through college came to la worked hard I think that's why she didn't want children with Freddie the way she was treated as a child scared she might be like her mother love yall Jeanne and mama I think she think Jeanne going foret about her cause she have j I glad they doing this
Yes 🙌🏾🙌🏾
I was in tears when Mama explained why/how she fights w/Jeanne it's not Jeanne it's Mamas past if she doesn't deal with that she'll have a difficult time redirecting her disappointed/anger/hurt. And that she's blaming herself is heartbreaking, but in that Mama must respect others wishes and boundaries.
Mama Mai, is a Narcissist.
I kind of wish that Jeannie had found an Asian therapist maybe an even vietnamese one because they could understand the culture better and Mama Mai could even express herself better speaking in vietnamese. Idk. Just my opinion.
Yes! That would have been better. A Vietnamese American who understands the “respect your elders” culture and so that mamma mai could actually say the things she wanted in depth
yes. I so agree with you. This will get lost in translation.
Agreed
You guys are all do correct. Someone who understands the subtle nuances of not only the Asian culture but specifically the Vietnamese culture.
Yes
Bottom line as an outsider: Mama Mai needs her own therapy to heal her toxic behavior that has affected her children. In the meantime, she needs to treat her children like the adults they are, which means she doesn’t need to be in their business, she doesn’t need to gauge her being older equates to her being better. And to recognize Jeannie behaves that way cause of her but it’s an excuse to want Jeannie to not be around (wedding etc) so she won’t be like her. The best way is to see changed behavior.
Lastly, they’re both repeating the scenario which includes layers of their issues, but Mama Mai is 100% wrong. She wanted Jeannie to speak up to outsiders, but not to family whose disrespectful. Mama Mai is inconsistent. Mama Mai believes it’s her way or the high way, even if it’s based off her childhood trauma, that’s the reality. I can say this because I have a Mom that behaves this way and I had to separate myself for my own peace of mind and sanity. ❤️
I agree. It was triggering to see how MM expects Jeannie to calmly discuss the issue privately, while openly defying Jeannie's wishes after being asked 3X to not invite randoms. MM wants to be respected, listened to and doted on while not giving the same back, which is extremely selfish, no matter how they want to sugar-coat it. Being better than her father is an accomplishment, but not the yard stick she should be measuring success with.
It’s so interesting how they both excuse actions because of “cultural reasons.” But isn’t that also just how your family raised you? So isn’t it just family pathology? I think Mama Mai needs to let go of some cultural beliefs about superiority based on age. I GUARANTEE that Mama Mai’s father did the same to her and she hated it.
I agreed too.i honestly believe that Mama Mai’s toxic behaviors is deeper than see thinks . She thinks the solution to her stubbornness is just cutting people out of her life. The bad cycle is just going to continue you unless acknowledge & understand it.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@@xxo8888 Jeannie has tolerated her behavior for too long so blame Jeannie tf
Girl I’m over here crying just hearing your mom say sorry to you, my mom is the same as your mom and I know it’s rare for their generation to take accountability for their actions
"Its not always I'm angry at you or angry at something you did. Its I have anger inside of me and this situation triggered it" woah
As African, we can't even say stop when our parents are wrong. Just imagine.
Caribbean parents the same. We have no voice
Hmmm my bible teach me how parents and children should relate to each other. So obviously that is showing us that kids are humans too with feelings periodttt
I hear you sis! I tried it and my mom told me I was becoming Americanized 😂🤣
It's like we have no voice - I'm a grown woman who is still afraid to tell my elders how I feel about their behavior towards me and correct them
Here we are the Russians! Same! Parents are over you..
I think your mom needs a therapist that speaks Vietnamese because that is the language of her heart and culture. For a counselor to be able to communicate with her and her being able to freely express herself will probably assist her in making the connections for her to understand more things.
Definitely a language and cultural barrier
Exactly
Totally agree
For sure. This therapist was great but would have been just amazing mama Mai could be understood and validated, heard and communicated in another level , and the same to Jeannie
I totally agree with you. It's not that Beth isn't great, because she's seems very good at what she does. However, she needs to be able to speak freely and not have to try and translate her feelings.
I feel like momma Mai might need therapy just by herself too... there is a lot going on there ... she needs to heal
Yeah! To my understanding, Mama Mai had a terrible childhood due to her abusive father. However, instead of being victims, she needs to grow and learn from it. Carrying on the same cycle of treating her own kids in a similar way, won't help her heal, it'll only make her even more hurt.
Jeannie is right! She needs to break that cycle so history doesn't repeat itself with future generations. What goes around comes around!
@@amylee8969 yeah you are right... most of us would have just cut ties and moved on.. I like that Jeannie loves her mom so much that she is willing to stay and work things out... after everything that happened... you can see she truly forgave her mom... that’s what true forgiveness looks like
The therapist is doing a good job getting to the heart of things. They are both fighting the past. They think it is about the COVID thing but they are both SUPER triggered. They both need individual counciling on the past trauma and how it shows up in every situation. Good job to Jeannie for seeing that it is a pattern. Thank you both for this! So brave and beautiful.
I felt it when Jeanie said, people would make her uncomfortable, she’ll speak up and they don’t stop. You’re really feel numb or unheard and it’s a tough feeling to escape.
Same 😔
She Is Miley In Last Song and Papa Leif Hetland's Spiritual Child! #lastsongmovie #ChristopherRobin #WinnieThePooh #GlobalMissionAwareness #PeachtreeGeorgia
This therapist out here moving mini mountains...
Jeanine feeling these issues from her past having her guards up. That's a stress in itself. I'm glad she recognized she needed help and is actively seeking it. And Mamma Mai noticing there's a trend needing to be stopped. Or a cycle needing to be broken. That's a step up 👍🏾.
It's such a process but we need these type of situations to happen in order for us to grow. How else we gonna learn if there is no conflict? Gotta spark this dialogue. It's very needed. Great session.
I just want to say...not that I'm an expert or this is my experience and I know stuff. I understand the Covid quarantine. But I think the thing that some people forget is that the mental part of this virus is a part of it. I work in long-term care and the mental stress of being cut off from people is way worse than you can imagine when you see it firsthand. So for mama she probably is thinking well these people are here for them I want people here for me. I'm not going anywhere I'm not doing anything. I miss being able to do this that have people that I want to be around be around me for me. I feel like that's what that was yes this is your event but what about me? You have your own life you go do your own thing and I'm just here. I'm not saying it's right I'm just saying I get it. And I also get what she saying she feels like because she is an angry person her being around them at the wedding can become toxic and she doesn't want that. And not to mention not only did she get yelled at in front of people it was specifically THOSE people. S you yell at me in front of the new "mom/girlfriend" and it makes me look bad. Like she's a better mom a better wife/girlfriend or a better person so it wasn't just oh you embarrass me cuz you yelled at me you it was because you yelled at me specifically in front of these people. Had it been the two sons and the neighbor probably wouldn't have been a big deal but because it was those people. And that really hurt her deeper than she would probably let (HER PRIDE) any of them actually know because it results in her dealing with her own feelings of inadequacy which is why she can't just let it go. So rather than having to deal with the embarrassment of that of people looking at her of people talking about her and whispering in the corner and whatever she just doesn't want to be around any of them. But I watched that video again and she did actually say she was wrong for bringing people in whatever so I don't understand why the argument continued I guess we all don't accept apologies unless they're in a form that we expect. If a husband does something wrong and the wife comes home and there's a dozen roses on the table he's apologized but that may not be what she wants maybe she wants him to sit down and look her in her face and say I'm sorry I made the mistake of a b and c I apologize to you for that because that's what she expects.
Some people will never understand how hard it is for first generation immigrant parents to grasp these ideas and self-reflective ideas. Although Mama Mai didn’t do a 180 in just one therapy session, we all gotta remember she has patterns of her own that needs to be undone. 40+ years of patterns. I can totally relate to Jeannie and I just hope they can one day see eye to eye 💜
Now I see why Jeannie doesn’t want to have kids.
I was thinking the same thing...
I just commented this. I think, she thinks she’s passing along a curse.
Honestly! Mama Mai is being extremely ridiculous and I see why Jeannie had to let her go years ago for a long time.
She wants to stop a cycle of abuse and doesn’t want it to repeat if she have kids.
I was thinking the SAME THING 🥺
Yes! Change is a process, not an event. Wow just wow. I love that
It is!
Yeah I loved that line too
This was soooo healthy to do. So proud of you both for showing up
Thank you. I'm really glad we were able to do this too
@@HelloHunnay I'm so happy y'all to went two therapy I'm praying for y'all two
Very healthy!
Two beautiful damaged Souls trying hard to Hold on to each other through their pain. Praying that Love will conquer ALL.
Yes ❤️❤️
Beautifully put. They seem like genuine people.
I hate to see Jeanie cry omg whenever she cries you can just feel the pain coming from her soul. I hope they mend things for themselves as well as Jay loosing his mother.
I saw a therapist on my own and she taught me how to talk to my husband using "I" language instead of "You" language. Instead of saying "you did this and you hurt me" you say instead," I felt hurt when.......". It actually worked but you have to work hard at it because it's difficult to do it consistently. It's so easy to fall back into old patterns where you each point out what the other is doing wrong instead of how you actually feel about the situation.
Yes! I used the same approach with my husband and it worked. It stopped the argument/discussion from escalating like it usually would.
This is really hard to watch because I relate wholeheartedly to Jeannie and I can't stop crying. I truly feel every word she says and I wish I had the courage to express that to my dad like she is with Mama Mai. Thank you Jeannie for sharing this ❤
I'm glad that this is relatable to so many of you because it's good to know we're not alone ❤️
@@HelloHunnay I watched this the whole video it's something I needed to see you and Mama Mai squashing the family beef hopefully it's squashed and there won't be anymore fights.
I'm happy for you both, but i cried watching it episode. Mama mai thinks if she pushes jennie away she won't be like her. I felt so 😥 sad she thinks that way.
But I think mama mai u need to deal with what happens to you and your dad too, so u can let go of your hurt and i think your behavior to your daughter / kids will be better too.
@@sharonpdailey4399 see mama mai brought her friends when they weren't welcome. She's a straight up narcissist. I haven't seen this but watch mama mai try and get sympathy. To fool the therapist.
Omg same I was about to ugly cry 😢
This was truly everything. Will be sitting my South Asian parents down and sharing this with them. Not just for the sake of awareness but also to show them how incredibly effective therapy is. Thank you for this, on behalf of every child, working to break generational curses. Beautiful.
God I hate when I try to explain my feelings and all of a sudden those stupid tears take over and I can’t even talk anymore
Ya usually it comes from holding in too much that when you do finally speak out there is just a lot of feelings built up that pours out and it’s hard to stop at that point. Talking about what hurts you at the moment instead of after years or months helps from releasing a tsunami of pent up emotions.
This therapist has helped them immensely. Good job, Beth.
I love that the therapist kept you on the actual issue. And made sure you both heard each other
I feel like they need a therapist who understands the cultural background.
That's actually what I meant to comment too..
Yea. Unfortunately mama Mai is a bi product of her culture and it hurts her relationship with jenanie. Jeannie may have been raised to an extend. Vietnamese but she's also Amerocan. Jeannie identity is Amerocan. And they don't do things like how they do back in Vietnam culture. I hop she can change but...who knows...
Always. I think that’s a key ingredient in any therapy. Unless the therapist is a super human.
Agreed! She doesn’t understand the nuance of the minority culture they come from. Because, the lack of accountability from minority parents to their children is a common thread.
I think they need a therapist that speaks Vietnamese because there’s a clear language barrier and Mama Mai may be able to express herself better in her native language
I come from a Haitian household so I completely understand the parent/child dynamics of first gen Americans and immigrant parents. I have empathy for mama mai, her reaction/feelings are cultural. It’s clear that she loves her daughter. She can’t be expected to think in an evolved way just because she’s living in the U.S.-she was raised differently. Evolving takes time, it can be a bumpy road. I commend her for cooperating and agreeing to therapy. I understand Jeannie as well. Happy to see them mending their relationship.
Glad to see an understanding comments 👏👏versus all the comments bashing Mama Mai who don't take into realistic consideration the cultural background . Apparently folks can't imagine being born in a while different time period and culture 😞
Mama mai is a good person but needs therapy for herself. She has to heal her trauma. I have faith that she will
True 👍✔
True 👍✔
I think the therapist did a great job in a difficult situation.
That counsellor is so amazing, it makes me look up career paths in couple and relationship counselling after witnessing her impact
Saaame
Hurt people, hurt people. Mama Mai has to resolve her pain before she can learn to behave differently. Did her father physically abuse her? As I said before, she has a problem with Jeannie's independence...she said it. Praying for you all.
He beat her during his gambling losses. He beat his wife. He hit Mai with a hammer on her leg until she couldn't walk and had to be hospitalized. Also, he told Mai he did not want to see her unless she aborted Jeannie during her pregnancy.
@@georgina4874 wow, yeah that's terrible& it's no wonder why mama mai is so damaged. Abuse takes a toll
I think it would be more helpful to have either a translater or a Vietnamese therapist so that mama mai can actually express herself better. It seems that she cannot really express what she wants to say that is why she might be repeating herself often and not actually understanding the questions.
I applaud that you guys publicize this with the intention to start conversations among families that may be experiencing similar issues. It can be really hard to authentically flush out the issues you both have on camera.
Yes. Especially Asian families
I was shook when the therapist said “ ông ngoại” in a perfect Vietnamese accent 😳
Beth's calmness is everything🥺
At 21:17, Momma Mai's "Oh." at the revelation that Jeannie was talking about her own feelings and not Momma Mai rang through my SOUL!!!! I now realize that I have a problem LISTENING to what people are ACTUALLY saying, as opposed to my interpretation of what I think they said. This will stay with me forever. Jeannie and Momma Mai, thank you for being so transparent. Your willingness to be vulnerable is going to help SO many other people in the world.
This was tense but necessary. Jeanie's feelings trigger Mama Mai's guilty. No one wants to be reminded of the hurt they cause someone everyday. Plus Mama Mai loves to be happy and anything that interrupts that bothers her. So it seems like she will do whatever it takes to stay in her happy place But Mama Mai has a lot of rehealed and unresolved trauma to unpack
Honestly, this is my mum too. She left us for the last 17 years .... she will do what ever it takes to just stay in a happy place - she almost always plays victim and is quite delusional tbh. 🤷🏻♀️😑
@@FarinaMyrtleRenato wow. that is terrible. 17 years is long time. I know people have their reasons, but on the other end of those reasons are hurt people who deserve answers...so sad 😔
I truly appreciate that you guys are sharing this with the world, you’re helping so many people! Thank you 💕
There is so much here emotionally. I commend you for living this out in front of the world. You aren't just a mirror of one another, you are mirroring the emotional trauma of so many mothers and daughters. Prayers for you both.
Based off of what I saw in the last episode I prejudged and thought “There is no way therapy will get Mama Mai to see the other perspective she clearly is a veryyy stubborn person”. As is my father. But this just showed there is absolutely hope to turn things around for the better! She started with a defensive look and ended with a smile! Gives me hope for my situation thank you 🙏
Sadly, this is how most parents, especially mothers, are. They are raised to believe that vulnerability is weakness, and that they have to remain “strong” and “hard” in order to survive life. The fact that Mama Mai agreed to therapy is a huge deal, and it’s commendable! I really do hope and pray that you two continue to grow closer together with the great amount of love that you two clearly have for each other 💖
Very true. Any time a child is not free to express anger, sadness, etc. it teaches them to suppress emotions at a young age and practically stunts emotional development.
I remember on the early days of The Real, I always felt Jeannie was disconnect emotionally from the other co-hosts because at first she wouldn't cry and express emotion the way the other girls did. She seemed to get better with time. Now it makes sense why she was like that.
I can relate to this so much....and my mom and dad were both walled off emotionally ... so I had a double whammy.
I’m sitting here crying like a baby. 😢 I understand and see myself in you both. Thank you for being so open.
She still doesn’t get it. I doubt she will change. Even whenever Jeanne cried, she has always seem unmoved & unbothered. I have always found that very cold, and feel sorry for Jeanne.
I don't think she knows any better
i don't think an old person can change tbh
It's culture combined with stubbornness. They expect you to bend to their will at your own expense. My mom's the same way.
I loveee good therapist❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'll Take The Holy Spirit! 🕊
Zxc
I want to be one when I grow up I'm 13 now
@@antonialovesyou4462 I agree God is in control of everything and the Holy spirit does guide and help but in thier case this session was much needed.
@@antonialovesyou4462 there is nothing wrong with loving Jesus and having a good therapist. You go to physical health doctors so there is nothing wrong with mental health doctors.
Omg when mamá Mai was talking i cried how she felt she ruined her daughter with her temper all because of how mama mais father treated her. Our generation can help heal our parents I really feel that, like mama mais just walks around with the trauma and our helps bring awareness and healing it’s so hard I’m glad they’re working together
Please keep posting your therapy sessions... you guys are helping so many. I already have a counselor but Beth has a new perspective and I appreciate this so much. Thank you guys.
I screamed when she said she said she will change real quick because she doesn't want to spend money on therapy
"Change is a process. Not an event" 😳
Take my money💸because I NEEDED to hear that! I made a note and put it on my computer. Thank you for being open ❤️
Yes! I thought the therapist was very skilled!
I wrote it down also lol
This wasn’t even about Jeannie and Mama Mai at a certain point. I was having my own breakthroughs.
I am right there with you.
Same!
Some people might think Jeannie is just doing these videos to get views and get attention online. While a small part of that may be true (she is a business woman, after all!😉) these videos and showing this family dynamic are obviously helping so many. Anything that gets a thought process or a conversation started to uncover pain is always a good thing.
Yes, so true,
yes me too!
Therapy is the best. Getting the root of everyone’s issues and working together to resolve them. Thanks Mai’s
This was so powerful and brought me to tears. Breaking a generational curse is hard but necessary. Thanks for sharing💖
my mom and I are finally doing a therapy session soon and im scared of the emotions but this made me feel like we can do it. thanks for sharing jeannie
Good for you!!❤️❤️
good for you, wishing you all of my best wishes :)
From one Gabriella to another, you can do iiit!!!
My mom died and I felt free trauma it's horrible let's do the work I'm a mother now I see my mother in me
Whoa that's so cool (or maybe not when you're in the actual situation haha). Waiting for the day I can do that with family. When they are ready or if that day may even come. Either way, you can do it! Baby steps! The goal is to not run away from our emotions, wanting to do something about it (or sometimes doing nothing in the situation is also doing something).
Avoiding or suppressing our feelings is definitely way worse. In being able to gradually sit in your emotions, eventually being able to accept/tolerate them, it doesn't mean you aren't supposed to get mad or emotional anymore. It's being able to learn not to constantly rely on old habits in the avoiding/suppressing emotions. Though our feelings are fickle and we may fall back on old habits, the strength to face our emotions is a healing experience :) Baby steps as we try to learn this dance
I wish they had found an Asian therapist that could maybe relate to the cultural aspect more. And that also could have made it more comfortable for mama Mai too but I think this was a great first step. So proud of you both, you only have one mother and she only has one daughter, so you might as well make the best of it. And that’s what y’all are doing!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I think an Asian therapist might have justified a lot even though they understood. So it’s best they had an outside source who can see things clearly.
@@KLB1218 from a non-bias human perspective yes I understand that👏🏾
Yasssss
Boundaries and respect aren’t cultural.
@Ryan U are probably right.
They love each other so much. I really hope this can help you guys start building a more healthy mother-daughter relationship because the LOVE is there ❤️
This therapist did such a great job, I learned a lot. Praying for you both
Awwww, Momma Mai doesn't really mean any harm. She saw her reflection and it scared her. This was AWESOME!! Thank you for being so honest and transparent.❤ They love each other fiercely. This will mend in time. Well done!!!
Send ALL of us the bill because your entire “fam” just got a free therapy session!
I know right. I learned a lot
Absolutely 😊
Literally 😭
Lol.... for reals
I appreciate you and your mom sharing your experience with the world. It really is beautiful to see you two get to connect after a terrible fight, it's inspirational to me because when conflict arises in my family, everyone either cuts people off, doesn't talk to each other for a while or isolated themselves from everyone. Seeing this has made me hopeful again that I can reconnect with my family even better too.
I love this !!! It is things like this that will progress our society emotionally. For so long people rather hide and suffer which makes others feel like they are alone. This shows that a lot of people go through this
Now I know why Jeannie doesn’t want kids....she doesn’t want this generational curse to pass down to her children..
She's gone through so much in life I feel like she just wants to protect her from going through it again with her kids or something bad happening to them :( I do believe Jeannie would be an amazing mother if she wanted to have kids eventually
I didnt have kids until I was 28 for that reason 15 years of therapy and she (my mama) was still living in there with every negative thing she ever told me. But, I dont regret my three kids at all. And I tell them all the time if I hurt them with my words...that I am broken and still trying to heal. I always apologize if theybsay I hurt their feelings. I always receive their pain from me even when I cant seem to help myself. All we can do is live every day trying to heal and trying to be better and owning our sh*t with our kids
I had this exact same thought years ago. I hope they heal.
Girl this is a real revelation I never thought of ot
Said the exact same thing previous vid.
Props to the therapist! I've never been to therapy so watching her work with jeannie and mama mai to help them get to the root of how they're feeling was powerful
Really glad to see there was a moment of clarity, truth, and resolution towards the end. Thank you for sharing.
This was one of the most powerful things I’ve ever seen. I am so grateful for you both and for your vulnerability. Just sending so much love, you are both amazing and are truly deserving of a healthy and happy relationship 💞
This therapist out here doing the Lord's work! I'm hoping you guys get that breakthrough.
I love Iyanla way of therapy. It's calling ppl out of their comfort zone with tough love. Regular therapy is a bit to laid back for me lol
My heart breaks when Jeannie cries, I love her so much and wish her all the best. Such a beautiful person.
I don’t think it’s only about Covid situation.
Everyone in this diner was with someone (couple). Mama Mai feel alone so she bring all her friends.
Jeannie should ask her to bring one closed friend to this diner.
2nd thing, as long our parent is alive, we will always be a child, however our age. We never supposed to embarrassed our parents in front people however they wrong.
Private discussion it’s always the best.
You are 2 beautiful persons, you will be fine. Thanks to share your story
Well said 👍
This event was an event planned by Rosalie to celebrate Jeannie and Jay engagement. Jeanie and Jay engagement, which is a very private affair, being celebrated in the covid context. Being that the event was a celebrating of an event in their life, and as celebrities, they want privacy and should have the right to determine who should be present in this celebration. They should not have to allow strangers to be invited to celebrate with them. This becomes even more important in the context of covid, where they do not know these strangers and their health behaviours and status. Jeannie didnt want to be exposed potentially to strangers who she didnt know and dont know their status or who they were exposed to. She let her mother know multiple times before the event. Her mom should have respected that decision. And it was not strictly a couples event, Jay's daughter was there. Also, Mama Mai knew everyone there so it is not like she needed to bring people to talk to so she wouldnt be lonely. She is a grown woman who needs to be held accountable for irresponsible and selfish behaviour. She also needs to get out of her feelings and see how her behaviour is toxic and hurts other people. Not even kids get their way all the time, so why should she for an event she didnt plan that was not about her?
Once you become an adult, parents need to recognise that. You cant have it both ways: adult enough to be in charge of your own lives but still not old enough to have differing feelings or opinions than your parents or be able to disagree?
100% agree. I am glad they are trying bc they love each other and I want them to be in each other’s lives. ❤️
Just no@@TenchiMuyoTMU
I love how therapy makes you really dig deep and gives you constructive tools to try to be better communicator. I see progress and love from both sides. This makes me happy.
Also when she said she was proud of you, I broke down. That’s such a big step.
Y’all I’m 12 minutes in and I have been bawling 😭. Thank you Jeannie and Mama Mai for being so transparent. I totally understand just wanting to be heard . You don’t have to agree but at least hear me out. At least try to understand. Whew.... this is definitely stirring in my soul.
It was really emotional for the both of us too 😭
@@HelloHunnay im thankful that you both are being opening to each other ❤️ my mom is no longer here so this is beautiful remember jeannie beans you only have one mom i know its hard when u are mad bc trust me i know just know she will always be there ok love y’all 💛
Oh my goodness! I CRIED SO MUCH in this episode. But I am SO THANKFUL for alllllll the therapists and counselors who help us regain power and joy in our lives and relationships. Mama Mai, Jeannie, we love you 💗
I’m literally balling my eyes out right now. This is so good for them. They have so much love for each other they just don’t know how to express their feelings.
This is literally how most of Vietnamese parents are. Like what Jennie said, if your parents tell you to sit, you can’t be standing up. Your voice is not heard is the biggest issue.... I feel like there is no such thing as parents respecting their children in our culture. My parents are the same way. They think that they’re older and wiser that I need to listen and follow whatever they tell me to do.
Somali/African culture is exactly the same, parents are always right and the children's feelings don't really matter. What they don't know is, this actually disables us growing up and we end up with alot if 'issues'.
Thy- totally agree 100%
My mom is West Indian, it's the same for her too.
It's about the same with Hmong parents as well.
I was also raised this way and I'm Spanish. I'm sorry for what you are going through it is hard to not have any voice
I think mama Mai is just being a typical strict mom, who doesn't wanna let her guard down to her kids..she's learning 💁 I pray you guys heal..all the way from South Africa 🌹
Agree
My mother and I haven’t spoken for 2 years, this is so hard for me to watch without getting upset. Thanks Jeannie for showing us this. You are brave !
Same! Just cut off by my family thats how we function so sad
LOVE LOVE LOVE the therapist. I love how she even say “ong Ngoai” (grandpa)
Bless that counselor, at one point she looked like what the heck have I gotten myself into. But brava for yall. Step one is done. 💖
Lol. Yeah she definitely did but she pulled it together again. I see it getting better and better.
@Margaret Kpeh How dare you say this is staged? Is this bizarre? Don't people experience these things in real life? Just because they are open and vulnerable to share it with the public don't mean it's staged. Stop with the conspiracy theory.
@@anndiestephen7671 We won't really know if it's staged, but the effort to edit and layout the video (solo cuts to another person's listening face when someone else is speaking, caption bubbles, etc.) definitely tries to capture an essence of "family drama for TV". It's following the production flow of any E! or Real Housewives product.
Yes, the tears and hate and anger discussed are theirs and we are not denying the validity behind them. But there is an element of awareness that more drama, more raw emotion, means more views. That being said, Jeannie is pretty open and engaging with viewers in her comments and lives, so if sharing her relationship issues on YT is a way to both earn money and shade her story, so be it. All the power to her!
I think it's great she's highlighting the cultural faults in this situation as well, and it's nice to see many young women from multiple backgrounds understand or relate with each other.
Personally, I think the therapist is meh. Her California valley girl accent gets in the way of her trying to sound empathetic even as she slows her words down... If anything she sounds like she's talking to a toddler or is about to read astrology for a $25 Amazon giftcard. That being said, for some people I think you need that level of simplicity to gently mirror and probe that introspection (especially for Mother, in this case). On the Avenue of UA-cam, I guess it's the perfect fit.
Wait.. wait ya'll. Did you hear what Jeannie said about what Mama Mai asked her about her abuser? "Why didn't you tell him to stop".. Oh... mama you need to apologize for that. That's one of the worst things you can ask a victim of sexual abuse. It seems like there's many underlying issues that needs to be dealt with, for both sides. This seems like a right first step.
She apologized on another video when they discussed the abuse.
I caught that too!
Hi Jeannie, I cannot imagine the strength and vulnerability it takes to share something SO private like this with the world. And I just want to say, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I haven’t had an honest conversation with my mom for almost a year now, and have gotten to the point of feeling stuck and hopeless that we can ever revive or have a healthy relationship. This and the last video of the fight left me in tears. Not only did it make me feel so seen, they gave me the first tiny bit of hope and courage I’ve felt for a LONG time about repairing my relationship with my mom. It’s so clear how deep your love for each other is and while I’m sure it will be costly and hard, I hope for renewed connection and healing for the both of you. Thank you again for your transparency and courage in sharing this.