Why I Didn’t Speak to My Mom for 8 Years
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- Опубліковано 22 тра 2019
- ⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING: This video includes mentions of sexual assault.
I mentioned in an earlier episode that Mama Mai and I did not speak for 8 years. And a lot of you asked us to talk about it. It made me realize - we needed to too. Mama Mai is my best friend and forever my mom- which means she's human & learning, too. For the first time, what we discuss was one of the most powerful, and healing, conversations of my life.
Anyone affected by sexual assault or abuse, whether it happened to you or someone you care about, can find support from online.rainn.org. You can also call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) to speak to someone who is trained to help. I promise, there's radiant light on the other side.
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I don't think anyone realizes how strong Jeannie really is.. She is such a fighter.. I hope she never forgets the light she carries.
Amen.
Choose your children first, always believe them.
Erica Tenner 🙏🏽🙏🏽 Yes thank you!!
Erica Tenner there are children to happen to have lied. You never know. And I love the honesty here. It’s always easier to assume the person who says they are the victim is the victim. Unfortunately, not always. And not all children are innocent 😔
Because LET’S ALL UNDERSTAND THAT technically, the abuser in this is still a « child » too. Not all children are innocent! 😶
100% I wish my mom would understand this
👏👏👏💯💯💯
@@TheKamerarielle I know a woman who went to parole hearings of her "abuser" to speak *on* his defense. She 1st went when she turned 18 as it was her mother who coached her into accusing him. This guy just discharged from prison a few months ago, meaning he served his sentence in full. 17 years behind bars and he, surprisingly, isn't bitter.
the reason jeannie never wanted children makes so much sense now. she doesn’t want to be her mother
exactly what i thought
Omds soooooo true.
Yep her mother failed her.
that is what I thought of
I dont know that that’s why she has said before that she’s just a selfish person and not in a bad way she just likes having her own time and travelling and that’s why she doesn’t want kids she’s just never felt that maternal instinct
I don't care what a child's circumstance is, I'm not loving anyone more than my own biological child. I can't relate to this.
I know. While I know how hard it is to believe and accept that a close and trusted friend or relative is capable of such things, the safety of your child should always come first.
I think it’s a language barrier, I don think mama may meant it the way we understood it.
@@ladynottingham89 that’s bullshit
When a mother doesn’t believe you when you speak the truth, it ruins you even if you forgive them
Worse if they blame a baby
Estephany Jaquelin exactly been going through this for years and by this time I’m over it I love my mom but I can’t do it anymore I just can’t
Ahaha moment
Estephany Jaquelin it breaks your heart into a million pieces 💔🥺
That would have broke me worse than what actually happened.. I don't know if I could ever forgive my mom, so good for you..
The saddest and most hurtful pain is when moms do not believe u at that moment.
Fanni Corona any parent
milo vich i agree ☝️
Fanni Corona I literally couldn’t breathe watching this
My mother believed each time. First it was my father then it was a neighbor. It took my mother a little while to divorce him, but she found the courage to do it. The incident with my neighbor was when my mother was her bravest. I became so proud of her that day.
Yes. Its so sad and hurtful when parents doesn't believe their children. Many times parents don't want to believe abuse has happened because it is reflective of their failure.
How can a mother not believe a daughter who flat out tells you that a boy is doing things to her?? It's pretty simple. At least investigate, but to go on with life?? Dismiss what your daughter tells you???And continue to LEAVE HER WITH HIM??? This woman is lucky that her daughter even talks to her to this day.
@KerriFrances
I agree. I do understand sometimes that it’s extremely hard to believe that the people close to us are the same ones secretly hurting us and our family. No one wants to believe that a trusted loved one is capable of such things. But she should’ve still taken her daughters concerns more seriously, especially if Jeanie mentioned it several times. And to have Jeanie run away at 16 and the mom not going out to look for her teenage daughter is shocking. No matter what, a mom should always be concerned when their child runs away!
@@amylee8969 there’s nothing to understand, her mom is disgusting for not believing her the first time
easy and lazy to judge from outside
When I was a child, I told my mother I was being abused by a family member. She called 3 or 4 ppl in my family, told them all my business and they tried to convince me that I was lying. He was sent away and nothing was ever done, I was so embarrassed that I never spoke about it until an adult but I held on to anger bc I did not feel protected.
I’m so sorry 💔 I’ll never understand why some mothers do this if it was my child I would have a breakdown it’s literally my nightmare I hope you r healing from this and u will be ok 💜
I believe you. I am so sorry that happened to you. You deserved so much better. Sending you love.
_at least they sent him away smh I’ve seen women stay married to these men. And kick the daughter out! Sorry you went through that._
Ugh, I hate when parents consult others and the kids say it’s telling them their business. Sad.
You can forgive someone, but you'll never forget how they made you feel.
Myth
That right THERE❤️
Sunny D. Omg!, best Comment ever!!!!
Sunny D. Couldn’t have said it better!
@Lil Kay, I agree and disagree with this statement, only because some people have been hurt so bad to the point where the can't forget. It doesn't make it right, but from their point of view, it can't be forgotten.
That “you believed me. You believed me” really broke my heart, I am so sorry to all the people who could relate to this.
I’m so sorry that happened to you.
That’s So Jay thank you❤️❤️❤️
❤️
Thank you Jeannie for sharing this with us!!
I'm so happy that she received her moment from her mom! I never got mine. I left my mom a long time ago and everything is still " my fault". It is so good to see healing.
Damn Lady!
Hug your daughter, comfort her...
Its not about you lady.
Mama Mai is horrible!Jeanie is being vulnerable and the least she could do was show her she is sorry any what happened then!
Mama Mai is always quick to let her kid go. Why does Jeannie always have to do the work to mend their relationship?!?! This is why they’re going through what they’re going through now. Ima pray for Jeannie. Honestly I should pray for Mama Mai’s broken soul too
It's part of how Mama Mai grew up and her customs. She's changing and evolving.
@@palomamelendez7523 I've been reading the comments on here and it's so sad that people don't seem to understand. This is the first comment I agreed with. For Jeannie to decide to be vulnerable and people to react like this? People seem to forget that Mama Mai comes from a different culture, a different country, a different generation and they DO NOT do things the same as western culture. So, just cause Mama Mai is not doing things the way they would they feel that she's wrong. It's an inability to move from oneself and see things from a different perspective. It's sad. I'm just glad that Jeannie understands Mama Mai and that's all that matters ❤
@@naledi939 well said
That is exactly the reason I feel that this mother will continuously hurt this girl because she cant do the work for her.The mother is emotionally and psychologically detached
The unconscious is wanting to play the mom. She is defending the mom from her past experiences
All I'm going to say is protect your daughters.
and sons.
So people tell me I am too over protected but she is my baby .And this world is sick.
Its always someone close remember that never blame yourself
Protect your children.
Cee facts , but in other situations (not molestation) but some kids go to extreme to do things to not be protected.
the “please stay home with me” from Jeannie broke my heart...
Broke me too, i was experience it...but was to afraid to tell any1
Joanna Haynes that’s heartbreaking, I really hope you can heal from that. Please never be afraid to ask for help
Julie Perez same for me, seriously Jeannie crying man that made me have a fur ball well not literally fur but I wanted to cry. Also just hearing the answers and reactions of mama mai in that time got me like: what the hell was going through your mind? Who cares about that guys life if ur daughter seemed off when she’s telling us these things believe her because I doubt she was pointing out wanting attention signals.
Julie Perez I felt this in so many ways!!! Literally, I know the exact feeling she had in those moments and the path that followed! Heartbreaking
Julie Perez Girl me too!
some parents fail their children so miserably & that's all ima say.
Parents are still children trying to heal from their childhood
@Celestial Ry
Yes! Mama Mai did some mistakes, she's no saint. However, Remember she had a similar experience with her abusive dad beating her. It tramatized her, and HER mom didn't protect her as she was also the victim of control and abuse by him.
She also had Jeanie at a very young age (17 or 18), at the time, she wasn't ready and mature enough to be a parent. What's worse, is her tradition doesn't believe in getting help, they sweep everything under the rug unlike today when therapy and valuing mental health is essential. She was mental broken all while raising a child.
I think that Mama mai really needs to get therapy to work on her mental health. She still hasn't healed so she needs it.
@@bleudiamondbleu that’s a good observation you think well
@@bleudiamondbleu Well then they should NOT have children! If you are wounded, not healed and hurting don't have children. It's irresponsible! Be responsible for yourself and get help before you have kids. That's why people say don't rush to have children. No excuses! Children don't ask to be here.
Will and Jada
“All I needed to know is that you were behind me, you support me…” It does hurt when you don’t believe your own daughter I feel you Jeannie!! 🥺😭
*Jeannie being able to forgive her mom and build a beautiful relationship today is so incredible!!*
REAL ONE👸🏽
Omg watch her newest post they are fighting again 🥺breaks my heart
It's a fantasy shes creating it for her survival but it will hurt her more than to heal her because there's lack of honesty from the mom's side she's full of excuses and the daughter allows it
@@thembisaodendaal that’s immigrant parents for you, I’m first Gen American
@@kennedybrown1809 they have reconneciled now it just seems like a regular mother and daughter fight
I don't think she meant she loved him more, I think she meant he needed more love. That is so heartbreaking when a parent don't believe you but I am glad they worked things out.
yeah i think its a language thing..she couldnt find the correct words
Yes
I agree 1,000%
Exactly. And as a parent you may feel like your own child is acting spoiled and not appreciating both of her parents. In comparison to this person not having his and needing that support system. This conversation brought about a lot of healing
I was thinking that too obviously her English isn’t well so when she says certain sentences it can come across rude
My mom could kill just of a thought of someone hurting her daughter...she opens her heart cries and yet her "mother" makes it about herself: I didnt even want you, you were an accident?! She is a narc for sure, how can you hold your tears when your daughter opens up about something so painful you failed to acknowledge as a mom? Jeannie gives her way too much praise and visibility than she deserves.
Jeannie, I watched this video after the one where you’re currently arguing with your mom. YOU DESERVE BETTER.
I'm so sick. Her mom is such a narcissist. I know it is a result of her own upbringing but it is gross.
Same sis!! Smh Mama Mai has her own traumas to heal from because they come out forcefully with her own daughter
There is no excuse but you got to remember where mama Mai came from and her upbringing. I really feel she tries it’s just hard to get out of that generational curse especially when she was treated way worse by her dad
After watching the the video "Meet my moms favorite child" her brother explains Jeanie and her mom's relationship. Her brother mentioned that Jeannie was the trouble child. Jeanie would sneak out at night time and have house party at her parents house. I think that's why it was hard for mama mai to believe and trust jeanie. No one should ever be in that position of being rape but we need to understand that im sure mama mai did not intentionally mean to bot believe jeanie. Im glad both of them are trying to heal from it.
After watching all thess videos, I'm always mad at Mama Mai. I just don't get her at all.
I also have Asian friends and it's very common for them to not be open about their problems and they seem to always bow to their men.
I finally understand why Jennie is against having a child
Right?!! That's what I thaught
I feel her I cryed because i was in the same position as her. I don't have children as well. I do feel she will have one!!
I was thinking the same thing
Farah Hudey i understand her 100%, the world we live in is just toxic. no matter how much you change the world you can add 100 positive things and still 200 negative things will be there . i just don’t wanna birth a kid and have to watch them be sad and hurt .
Farah Hudey I know right? ... But she has Mama Mai to look after the child now... She just needs to get her to accept the Black fetish she has #ImBlack it makes sense also why she developed this #Fetish about black men 🤔
Remember....this is a Vietnamese family. Don’t sit there and judge how mama mai express herself. It’s deep in the culture.
Thank you🌻💛🌻
Can you explain more?
I’m with Linh on this everybody culture is different so we gotta respect that I really think Mama Mai is brave to even tell us her stories I love them both ❤️🥰💯😘
My cousin married a Vietnamese woman. I had to be patient and learn the culture to understand her. I also had to be understanding because she survived the war and she has PTSD from that time.
Same in german families. My grandma was adopted by strict Germans and we don't talk out our problems that way either. You're a child and you listen. Thank god I've gotten my grandma to talk things out with me. It wasn't an abusive way, we just got over ourselves and didn't open up about it. Now we are a lot better :)
It’s about to be another 8 years if Mama Mai doesn’t get it together. 🙄 How sad. I really hope she realizes her behavior isn’t okay. I’m not saying Jeannie is perfect, but Mama Mai is on a whole other level.
EXACTLY!!! Mama Mai pisses me off how she treats Jeannie! She just told her in this video I loved your cousin more than I did you cause he didn't have parents. Excuse me what kind of parent are you? To not believe Jeannie is shameful and the way she acted towards her in the fight video the other day is just so painful to see. I believe any child or adult if they tell me they are being abused. I also had abuse in my family it happened to my mother and unfortunately her family didn't believe her. I wasn't abused to her level but was held down and kissed by our neighbor I think I was 7 and he was 16. I kicked him right in the nuts and ran away. I never told her until I was a adult. She was so mad that I didn't tell her then she wanted to kill him 30 years later over a kiss. I often think more would have happened had I not kicked him and got away. I trust NO one around kids. Even the preacher of the church. It's made me hyper aware of people.
@Princess Ethiopian I understand all of the dislike towards mama Mai because of their recent video of the engagement fight. However, I too have compassion for the both of them. Mama Mai had a rough upbringing too. Her father abused tf outta her, neglected her, and she too ran away . Jeannie was abused, neglected, and ran away too. It’s a generational curse and I believe they are both trying to break it. but the difference is that Jeannie and Mama Mai were able to come back together and despite this recent fight, I feel as though they will come back together. They both healing to do, Mama Mai more than Jeannie but they are trying to get it together. Not trying to make an excuse for any of them but it think it’s so easy to label someone (we don’t know) without considering where they came from, what experience they faced, and what triggers they may have
@@carrie14u2nv language barrier, she didn’t mean like that but that she felt bad that he didn’t have parents
Alot of emotionally abused daughters abscond their mothers behaviours because they just dont want to admit how bad they really are
Yup, that’s how Asian moms are, especially ones from the older generations. It’s all embedded in their heads, hard to change or get rid of.
I was sexually abused as a child and never told because I wasn’t taught to and didn’t understand what was happening to me. You’re brave for speaking.
Sorry that happened to u hope u r ok now
And YOU'RE ARE BRAVE TOO LaShawna!!! And you're not alone in your feelings I went thru it as well. I'm sorry it happened to you.
This is the problem when people do stuff like this to kids,i'm sorry that happened to you..
I was multiple times the two that hurt the deepest was our Pastor (My Father refused to prosecute him and said his Wife leaving him was enough punishment,she never left him) then my best friends Father,my stepmom got her drugs from him so disregarded what he did to me.He later went to Prison for molesting my best friend (his step daughter) last time I spoke to my Father(14yrs ago) he STILL defended what they did to me and him and him not protecting me.
@@Miamidoll818😢
“That’s all I needed to know that you believed me” 😢
InBlissJourney Stephanie Hendricks that part 🥺♥️
I broke down and cried when she said that I felt her pain ❤️😪
🥺😭😭😭😭 we all felt this moment deep in our hearts. ♥️♥️♥️
Ahhhhh😩😢💔
14:08
This is why when someone says they don’t want children, don’t push. You don’t know their story and not everyone NEEDS to have them.
Say it louder for the ppl in the back!!!!
That was me at one point, then i had two andall types of thoughts flooded my head. I became so overbearing and protective but for good reasons. I never put them in childcare or daycare programs.. you can't trust anyone
@@slowpie 🤣😂
Then stop having sex
Shanika Stephenson 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
I started judging her mom at the begging but then I remember that we all grow in consciousness, we are all in a process of learning from our mistakes. I’m sure she’s a good mom that had no idea what to do at the moment. We now a days have more information and we can act in a better way.
So true.
This probably why Jeanie didn’t want kids for a long time . I’m glad they’re healing . Momma Mai always believe your children !!!
She didn’t understand the magnitude of your situation. It’s so sad she didn’t believe you. My heart goes out too Jeannie.
Jennifer Jo: She didn't care to understand. Remember, she was scapegoating the daughter since she found out she was pregnant. 🤪
I don’t think she understood the magnitude. She was working two jobs and taking care of three kids. Lots of women do it.
I was crying with her. All she needed was to be believed. Poor child 😭😭😭😭
I'm crying through this video 😭😭😭
thats the most important thing that survivors need honestly
@Carmen Hanrahan i understand you more than you know i was dismissed twice first when my aunt tried to tell her mother what her son was doing and the second time by my own mother until i had to tell her i saw the same guy in question molesting my sister. i have been mentally physically sexually and emotionally abused and all my family care about is covering it up.
Honestly, it's easy to laugh at Mama Mai, but she's an awful mother, she doesn't deserve such a daughter and the forgiveness of Jeannie.
What she did was in many ways worse than the assault. The person she was meant to trust, who was meant to love her unconditionally, not only didn't believe her, called her a liar, but also said she loved him more and didn't believe it of him.
She's not so funny anymore, she's an egotist who wants attention, and a cruel and awful mother.
The time her daughter needed her most she did that to her.
Emma Jo ~ I totally hear what you are saying. Please try to understand that Momma Mai grew up in a very different culture and generation. This does not excuse her actions, it only proves how we grow through open communication. That’s something younger and younger generations are teaching us older folks. ❤️
I love mama taking responsibility and apologizing. This was amazing
@Mimi Checkin fake heaux
Exactly. And like I said in other posts. “Sorry” doesn’t erase a traumatizing experience like this, the damage is done and can’t be taken back. But what’s important is, Jeanie wanted to take the proper steps to heal for her own happiness and well-being. She realized it was healthier to forgive her mom and try to build a better relationship with her instead of holding a grudge forever and disowning mama Mai. Staying angry would just eat away at her until she’s depressed and in a horrible place of mind.
Jeannie is so kind to her mom who doesn’t even deserve the grace ❤
Yep!…she doesn’t deserve Jeannie’s forgiveness!!😢😢😢
@@coolcat3452 I wouldn’t be surprised if her mum was jealous of her and allowed this to happen to her daughter.
@SarahGodlyinspiration
Yes! And although they reconnected, she still doesn’t seem like the best mother out there. Mama Mai comes off as insensitive about things. I think she picked up that cycle of behavior from her own parents. Jeanie’s grandmother did stand up for Mama Mai either when the grandfather was abusive towards Mama Mai when she was growing up.
When your children say they don't like someone or don't want to be around someone, LISTEN TO THEM.
Not blaming Mama Mai, I know what she feels and how culture and family plays a role.
But please, if any child ever comes to you, be their safe space.
But you shud hv a sharp ear in in these days especially when it comes to yang gals
violetAura I DO blame her mother! She should be there for her daughter regardless of “feelings”. Pathetic.
Bam agree. No excuses.
@@12345BEP Called being human, Flawed creatures we are. It's simple to say things about situations you aren't in. People are products of their environments for the most part a lot of things can come into play. Also kids lie, A LOT children don't have the maturity or morals developed yet they'll a lot of things that are bad including lying.
Yes 100%
I think the language barrier plays a big part in how things are interpreted. I don’t think Mama Mai meant she loved him more than Jeannie in terms of emotion. I think she was saying she gave him more love because he didn’t have parents and needed extra affection.. or at least that’s what I hope she meant.
Agree
That's exactly what I was thinking.
I agree with you and when she said she was an accident I think she meant she wasn't planned and that's okay!
Excellent observation
Yea I agree. I really don't think she meant to say she loved him more than her. I'm sure if she said it in her first language it would translate differently as far as what she really meant.
This just breaks my heart. Jeannie, you deserve so much better as a child from your mother. She failed miserably. We can justify why she didn't believe you all day long, but it doesn't take away from the fact that she's failed you miserably as a mother. I get that she is sorry, but she does not seem sorry enough.
Yeah the damage is done. It's a traumatizing experience and "sorry" isn't enough. But I think what helped Jeanie is reconnecting with her mom and talking about it. Now, they can have a better relationship which helped Jeanie healed.
True and very sad
And she’s comforting her mother the whole video when it should be the other way around! I feel like her mom wants attention.
I unfortunately have a mother like this that always can make something about herself even if it was you who is hurt she can still make you end up apologizing or comforting her. It's the gas lighting growing up consistently gaslighted by a mother makes you question your mental self for a long time until you reckon with it and realize that it's your mother that has the reckoning to do with herself. She owes you time and understanding people like that usually won't go to counseling with you but it is amazing results I've seen it in other families when it does happen. I know I will never hear one from mine and I've resolved myself to that but I just don't invest anymore of my heart into that relationship.I have other people that helped me become the person I am in my life that we're way better mothers to me than she ever was. It's very frustrating and horrifying as a child under all those years with it being a relative and somebody that they entrust you with the more that you complain it seems like the more that you do start to question yourself cuz they all say that you're the one making stuff up such a storyteller they used to call me you're such a little storyteller boy you like to tell stories... Such stories.... I definitely raised my kids a lot stronger than that and with boundaries from the time they were very young and they were all outspoken children and have grown into happy successful adults ✌️❤️ plus everyone who's come through hard things and may you know that Creator always has his hand on your shoulder to make you strong ❤️🕊️🌍🌎🌏🦋
She still doesn’t get it until now. And she has an excuse right after every sorry she says.
So to be clear. When she ran after being sexual abused her mother was upset because she left and said she didn't need a daughter like that. Sounds real familiar to what we just saw happen in the argument they had over Christmas.
Truth
I wonder who did she live with at sixteen and was she subjected to other men's abuse just survive be cause the business she's in is run like this. I just pray her husband is really a changed man and doesn't take advantage of her. Once you have their kids, you're stuck for life. I just don't know about Momma Mai......she is rough and probably has her own stories to tell. And are the ladies on the show really Jeannie's friends?
I have been accused of being overprotective of my children and I don't care. I refuse to let them be victimized like I was by a family member.
i have this fear. i have a daughter and i am so scared that someone will do that to her too, the way it happened to me.
Jazzybelle it’s better to leave them with strangers than grandpa or even your brother. If you don’t have a daycare pay a stranger don’t leave them even with their father. Yes I said it, not even their own father. Research shows.
Luvly Qt if she is still dating the scumbag there’s no reason for you to be 6 feet from that evil woman.
My mom was an overprotective mother. No sleepovers. No parties.
It worked a little too well. I met my husband online and was 34 & she was like No, you're not going to meet some stranger online! I'm like mom I'm a grown ass woman. 😅😅😅 But seriously be careful out there & protect your kiddos!
That's how i was with my siblings. Because it's happened to me. And because they're not in your shoes they would not understand. You're doing the right thing keep it up👏👏
The fact that Jeanie is the victim & she had to be the one to reach out to her own mom to re-connect breaks my heart.🥺💔
Susie Thompson She needed that for her own pain. Her mum I believe is narcissistic because of her own issues with her dad. I don’t believe reconnecting is a good idea
That’s the kind of shit that breaks people man . Always having to be the better one and strongest one .. no matter what she will always have it in the back of her mind but because of her heart and strength she will always be the better person and love her mother
Moms should talk to their children both male & female..she is so wrong for not believing her child she is sick for that.i wild neva do this to my child, she shld jus apologize not defend herself
Camilla Frank She is obviously not narcissistic. She felt guilt, etc. Fake Psychologists every where. There is literally no sign of her being one. She made a mistake that’s it. No one knows how her mom lived and how she *truely* felt after she left. Tired of people throwing psychological terms so loosely, it’s really ignorant and dumb.
@@imnotaweebyounormie547 If you don't agree with me then keep it moving. I didn't come on here to agree with any mf. Her reaction to Jeanie expressing her pain was dry asf. This isn't a "MISTAKE." She had a choice between believing and protecting her daughter and ignoring the situation. She brushed it under a rug and a real mother does not do that. She ain't shit. IDGAF what you or anybody says. That's all I'ma say on that.🤷🏻♀️
I cant believe she trusts this woman with her daughter.
Thank you!!!! Finally!!!! And they didn’t even report that person 🤬
Jeannie was 16 when she ran away. How did her mom not come find her? She was a minor....how could mama Mai abandon her this way? Same thing she is doing now. Her MO is to just not prioritize Jeanie and tell her I'm not you're mom. Horrid.
narcissistic parents I guess
ingrained cultural misogyny, east asian cultures worship sons and discourage/demean daughters. if her son at 16 ran away like that she would have gone after him, chasing after her precious son. mothers think their daughters are worthless but also stronger, that they can endure more harsh treatment than sons
Kim, I hear you. However, I'm a mom, who had an accident baby at 18. Mom didn't know how to raise a kid. She should have clung to her daughter. She wasn't taught. Probably didn't finish high school. My mom didn't teach me. She had her accident baby, at 17. My sister, had her accident baby, at 18. Generational curses.
@@ladybuginc.4189 Please stop referring to your kids as accident babies. It speaks volumes. Even unplanned babies can be divine/destiny.
@@iamnotmyhandle yes, this! Can you imagine your adult child hearing they were an “accident baby”. Way to break the “Generational curses” 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
I started crying when you said "that's all I needed to know, you believed me" I can relate to that.
Sending you love light and lots of prayers my love xx 🙏🏼🤲🏼🙏🏼🤲🏼
How I feel about my sister 😞
Forreal though
I know Jeannie doesn’t want to have a child (maybe because of the trauma she experienced), but she would be SUCH a great mom.
Steak Bear she now wants a child with her current boyfriend Jeezy.
I have a son that I though I protected him and he is 15 now and just told me that one day at the YMCA a non profit club where my son got babysit. he told me at age around 7 and a teen touched him. now I am trying to figured out, how this really affect him. he has adhd and I have anxiety and because of soo much old school myth and advices given to me I am in therapy and doing well but my son is just getting rebellion.
Telling him we need family therapy but he just want to talked with me but I cant anymore, a single mom doing my best for us, trying to raised all over myself and healed, I look like a strong woman but my anxiety has being eating me alive because I tried to always protect my son from drama or unpleasant situations, That took me to start watching all this motivational, spiritual videos to be able to help him too, but its difficult when you working on yoursel to help others.
Waleska Jáquez aww I hope you get the help you need. Stay strong mamma. Protect your child. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@bonitainthekitchen6032 As a single mother, I feel for you.... Therapy is never something a teen wants to go to, but I am quite sure, if you get him his own sessions, without you, will help him a lot.... My step mom put me in therapy because of my sexual traumas, and it helped a lot.... I went from hating being there, to excited and ready for our weekly sessions.... Get him his own sessions, with his own Dr. They will bring you in once they work on him.... There is nothing wrong with therapy, and I found that my sessions helped me alot. Now that I'm older, I attend church. Church is my therapy... As my relationship with God grows, I'm becoming a better person.... I know my journey as a teen began in counseling, not school counseling, but real teen therapy.... And it helped.... Put your foot down, set the appointment, and don't tell him until y'all get upstairs.... These sessions will change his life.... He needs it... If you have Medicare, it'll be free... If you have insurance, mental health is covered.... Get that baby the help he needs to be a great man and husband one day... The sessions will change his life.
she has alota Love..she will be a great mom
She didn’t want to believe it; she knew Jeanie was telling the truth… period. A mother knows. But she kept it 💯 when she said she was a young mother and didn’t know how to deal with it. I respect her and Jeanie for pouring her heart out and keeping love in her heart for her mom. This made me cry and laugh when her eyelash came off🥰😭
Nobody wants to believe and accept that those closest to us that we love so much as the same people secretly hurting us. That’s why so many people don’t want to let go of toxic friendships and relationships.
Crying my eyes out 💔😭 I just want to give Jeannie a hug 😞 I hope she receives all the love she deserves in life and may God continue to heal her heart. What a strong woman. She will be an amazing Mom ❤
I remember watching "The Real" & Jeannie talked about this. The mom should of reported him & put his ass in jail NO mercy
How you kno she be an amazing mother???
Ladies please look after your children trust "NO ONE" fully, please don't let one of your children go though this, I'm 55 and I'm still not healed!
Terra London I’m sooo sorry I will pray for you
I understand you! I am 38 and I am not healed and never will be. I do have a hard time to trust in any male. I am crazy for my daughters and don’t let anyone take care of them. Just me only. I don’t want that happened with me happening with them. No way! Never!
Praying you heal.
@M.A. Monson praying for you
100% Our babies boys and girls. Come before everyone. Always believe them and dont leave them with no one!
When jeanie said “ you believed me” i lost it.
Brianna George omg same. 😭😭
This needs to be a reality show. Many Asian culture families can learn and grow to heal
Always believe your kids. I’m so happy you guys are in a better place. This hurt my feelings to hear but it’s also beautiful to hear the healing in the conversation.
It is clear why Jeannie has always been against having a baby.
My thoughts exactly.
She probably is so scared that someone will do to her baby that was done to her... that breaks my heart
Krystal She Poppin I think she’s more frightened of her responding to her child in crucial situation like hers in a similar way mama mai reacted. She claims she thinks she’s selfish so that plays a part.
Exactly
@@theeladyking it's TRUE this happened in our family also it is something that scars you and u are mistrustful of everyone but I thank God for healing our family and helping us to forgive him and letting God b in control of our lives gives us peace and freedom
It's sad how our own mothers fail to protect and comfort us😭.
Miranda Medusa that’s what dads are supposed to do
@@bumblebea1773 what world are you living in?
For reals. ..
@@bumblebea1773 that's what a MOM is suppose to do. They carry us, a man can walk away whenever he chooses. Hence why there's more single mom than single dads
@@FaithandNova just because it happen doesnt mean it supposed to.. Back in the dad it was totally different..
I understand now why Jeannie was MORE sensitive to Mama bringing people around! (Suprise engagement party) NOW they are famous!!! Understand trauma and mental health! TY both for putting content like this out!!!
At 14, when I tried to tell my grandmother she said, "Now just wait a minute, I love you like you were my own daughter, but that's my SON you're talking about! Whatever you think happened was just a misunderstanding. Your father is doing his very best to raise you on his own. He may have some problems but he loves you! He does EVERYTHING for you kids!"
That killed me. And I knew that if my own grandmother didn't believe me, no one else in the family would either. From that point forward I had no one, so I ran away. I'm 46 years old now.
Thank you so much for posting this video.
So sorry you went through this, I hope you have recovered from that trauma.
💖
@Oakland Made if every child had an advocate and response like u just did, abusing children would be a thing of the past do u hear me?
A woman should always believe or at least investigate it. We are not to allow people to hurt our children.
My grandmother's son molested me too. My teenaged uncle was the guilty party. I was conditioned at a very young age not to tell. Sometimes in telling, you become a victim a second time. That is what I learned. Because of my experience, I learned to handle, examine and express my feelings privately and then to release them.
“What he did to me hurts”
“You not believing me hurts MORE”
I’m in pieces*
Wow. No words.
I know that shit made me cry!
A therapy breakthrough in the making. This was highly emotional. Being a mother comes with no instructions. We can be so distracted by life without realizing what our kids truly need. Kids need to be shielded and they need for us to keep them safe and secure. Unfortunately, this story is all too familiar to many of us as daughters. Thank you for being transparent. This truly touched my ❤️.
This is such a good learning experience, older generation parents have a very hard time communicating. You are helping so many generations. 🙏🏼
“What he did to me hurts, but my own mother not believing me hurts more.”
When she said that made me cry because the situation was so familiar
I don't think the mom understand how powerful that statement is😭 Something tells me she's unwell unquestionably!
Wow this brought tears to my eyes bc I went through this with my mother and up to this day I don’t think she believes me. We have not spoken about it and I don’t think we ever will.😢😢😢
This!! My brother molested me, I didn’t have the trust to tell my mom so I told a close friend of the family. When my mom was told she didn’t believe me. My brother had to admit it for her to believe it. She hasn’t spoken to me in 10 years.
T M thank you 🥰
I hate that children experience things like this. I applaud your bravery.
This was beautiful.❤️❤️ I wish I could have that talk with my mom. I don’t think it would turn out this way though. I’m 47 a survivor of molestation and sexual assault a few times in life and I kept it all in. I love my mom to life, but I didn’t think she would protect me at that time. I’m so happy for you Jeannie being able to talk this out with your mom. 🥲❤️
I've gone through a similar situation and I'm currently still trying to heal from it. But I'm so glad that you was vulnerable enough to share your story. And just seeing all of the comments, breaks my heart. It's also good to know that however we feel or felt- we're not wrong for feeling the way that we feel. So thank you, thank you, thank you. I pray healing for you, myself and anyone else that has gone through something so traumatic 🙏🏼
Oh shit I got chills when she said “you believed me”!!
U can express your opinion w/o cursing. 😠
I’m in tears
To be honest, Mama Mai's reaction is very similar to many mom's of other cultures as well.
msllubin8 so tru
That's very true
Sad. But very true!!
This is why I still haven’t told my parents . I don’t think I ever will ....
@Hani oh but a lot of cultures are like this. African, Asian and even some European cultures. It doesn't mean it's RIGHT, because not all cultural customs are right and I still resent my parents to do this day to how they were with me and how they deal with things...but it's just the way it is.
I can totally relate Jeannie. I grew up in house of 7 brothers. My sisters and I have experienced this and our mom til this day doesn’t believe us. We are a burden and she still love her sons over us even though they did what they did to us. I ran away from home and eventually gotten married away. The Asian community need to speak up about this type of situation instead of shushing us.
Thank you so much Jeannie, for being so brave + vunerable to share this. It is huge for you + Momma Mai to talk about this subject. It happens way too often. Even Momma Mai acknowledging her mishandling of it is huge. This will definitely help someone else. I love you guys!
“That’s all I needed to know, that you believed me” **busts out in tears... this made me so damn sad
I appreciate Mama Mai’s transparency, and I wish more parents understood we cannot heal our relationships with our children if we don’t start with honesty.
I’ve just re-watched this after a couple years and I’m crying again, this is so beautiful and has taught me so much. I wish I had this connection with my mama 💙
I’m here doing the same 😢
Jeannie. I’m praying for you. With the recent news and this dynamic with your mom I cannot imagine your pain. All I can say is dig deep in your soul and you will rise like a phoenix with an amazing testimony. Sending you. A stranger. Love and prayers for peace and strength.
She doesn't literally mean she loved him more than you Jeanie I believe she meant that she tried to give him more love because of his situation and she thought he needed more love than you . My mother is also an immigrant and sometimes things don't translate directly in English.
*YES* Thank you. I belive it's lost in translation. I understood perfectly what she meant.
That’s how I took it as well, but thanks for putting that into words.
Perfect example. 1 have 2 sisters who have 2 kids each. My mom keeps one set of grandkids more frequently like on the weekends and stuff because their mother, to put it nicely, isn't the best mother. My other sis gets pissed, but my mom explains that *her* kids have a good mother and aren't in so much of a need and it's not because she loves one set of grandkids more than the others
When English is your second language things do get lost in translation. I understood it the same way you did.
I agree
The way Jeannie understands her mother is so admiring, that's honestly what I loved about this conversation
I thought the same thing! She just knows her and some things the outsider looking in may take offense to she knows how mama Mai meant it.
@@kristenmcnamara2541 Exactly!!
I lived nearly this exact thing. I was 40 before the healing happened. I am so grateful for this video. Thank you for being so raw and honest.
I saw this when you first released it. Now Im rewatching it after I just cut out my family for being verbally and emotionally abusive, and dismissing what I went through, and it hits so differently.
im so glad your mom eventually listened to you, admitted her mistakes, and made amends with you. Unfortunately, I dont think my family will.
Thank you for sharing. I hope I will get a happy ending too.
Jeannie is a rose that grew through concrete. Growing up in such a nightmare she still finds a way to be super positive and uplifting. Much love to you both. 💖💖🌟
Yes. The fact that she was able to get married and have a normal relationship after that is inspirational (even though it didn't last). I also love the fact that she does so much for others who are victims of human trafficking. She is using her pain to help save and heal others.
@@DH-uw3us facts
@@DH-uw3us, she is truly a strong, amazing and inspirational human being!
I went through the same thing, was my mom husband. She's still married to him, am 40. I stop talking to my mom for years. I cried for us Jeanie. Been independent since 15. Thank you for this raw insight.
Yes some parents don't care, leave it to God. Hope your life turned out really really well
BTriangle so proud of your Strength
BTriangle-You’re strength is evident in your statement above. Blessings!
Hi this happened to me when i was 9 with my stepfather i told my mom and she litterally abandond me with my aunt and refused to come back and get me. She felt i was tryna to ruin her mans image and ruin everything for her. I will always hold this against my mother even tho i gave them a chance to have it all and not take it all from them their home their marriage their money put together out of the kindness in my heart they have those things still because of me i lied to police and said it wasnt true i did everything for that woman to keep the life she has because when someone abuses you like that it twists your mind into thinking its better to keep it a secret than to make it a horror movie. I told the women closest to me. They still cant believe me. I hold it all against them because they choose to live in denial. It hurts they love him more than me. And i can never excuse them for that or anythig
@@lolarodriguez9284, I feel your pain. There's so many of us with the same story, we all have to be strong and help each other.
Every girl needs her mother to be there for her. To fight and protect her daughter
I went through therapy to find healing, but I still haven't told my parents because I feared I would get the reaction same reaction Mama Mai gave Jeannie.
"What he did to me, that hurt. But my own mother, not believing me, that hurt more." Truer words could not be spoken. Some of us can relate to this all too well #metoo
Me too
#metoo
Girl, I was floored when I realized that my mom didn't believe me
"The only thing I can say [is] I'm really sorry"
Thank you, Mama Mai, for apologizing without making excuses.
I believe there's a difference between an explanation & an excuse.
@ArcherQueen 05 Well, that is your opinion. When I get an apology, I would like to know that you are sorry for what you did, why you did it, and how you intend to ensure it will not happen again. I love how the internet makes everyone believe their opinion/ preference is fact so much so that they feel the need to voice it to complete strangers.
My abusive parent didn't really even apologise 🤷🏾♀️
So Tru
The story was so touching. Thanks for talking about the things that so many families are scared to talk about.
To the mums out there PLEASE just BELIEVE AND HEAR OUT what your kids are saying cos people are not who you think they are when you are not around…
“You never really heal from it, you just live the rest of your life with it”
That's so heartbreaking 💔
So true.
I disagree God has totally restored me sometimes I even forget but it’s my heart to work with women who have been affected and somehow my jobs lead me back there and that’s when I remember an I can see God’s total healing power. I know this might not seem possible to some reading this but I assure you strength comes from the throne room of God and he has trained me to even spot signs in men through providing me with strategic jobs, divinely connecting me to training courses etc and continually sending people to educate me and help me educate others.
I no longer fear the concept of being a mother and having a daughter if it’s Gods plan down the line or even teaching them. I am no longer afraid of men or hate them or have an unhealthy view of my sexuality or perversion of mind. I’m healed by the Blood of the Lamb. Let the redeemed of the blood say so! God is bringing healing to many have faith and know that God sees all He has the power to remove your humiliation and shame and give you comfort.
How could I have forgotten to mention forgiveness with God even this is possible.
Exchange your burden for ease. Ask yourself how can you truly love another human being if you have not forgiven yourself or your perpetrators? You only live in fear 😔. Free yourselves from this torment because in actuality you are carrying the perpetrators shame.
Edit: typo errors.
It's true. It has been over 5 years and I have healed a lot and understand things better and forgave my mother and the perp but it still upsets me sometimes. At the end of the day, I'm a more compassionate person though and try my best even if I am not perfect to not harm anyone.
Yes you can heal through it, and not live with that burden, once you give everything over to Christ. There are plenty of victims living who have been raped molested, battered, beaten, and aren't living with their past. It can be done, but you can't do it alone, and people need to be reminded of that. To God be the glory great things he has and can do for all of us ❤
Jeannie, you and mama Mai have no idea how important this conversation is. Sexual abuse is so prevalent. Thank you for your bravery and honesty ❤
Ole Selebi yes
Yessss. I've never watched your channel before, but I'm extremely proud of you. It takes courage and strength to speak of this topic.
Thank you so much for support us and understanding 🙏😘
Mama Mai we love you Mama Mai. Continue to heal the world. You are brave and strong.
Ole Selebi, absolutely, without a doubt! Such a healing conversation between mother & daughter... This is going to give permission to countless people to begin their healing around sexual abuse and heal the divide between some mothers/daughters, others.
Thank you for opening up, I believe God use your openness. It has been 4 years since I started to open up about my childhood trauma to my mom after watching your story, and then the healing journey started. God bless you. Today I watched an interview and saw you, suddenly it reminded me how I started the journey of addressing my childhood trauma and decided to search this video again and thank you for your openness.
I'm so glad that you guys mended your relationship. Whenever trust is broken no matter the relationship, things will never be the same. We start to resent that person. Mother's should be are sanctuary & best friends. Your healing & loved.
I can never imagine NOT believing my daughter for ANY reason.
TheFireicing people make mistakes, including mothers.
@@bell.lecca1 right
Me either but sadly happens very often for many different reasons 😡
I'm thankful that my son or daughter doesn't lie because I don't care who it is...all it would take is for them to tell me ONCE and I'll spend life in prison over the incident.
And?
Say his name get him arrested, he shouldn't get away with this, he might do it again 😪
NatashaAnne11 fr like give me this mans name I just wanna talk 😤😤😤
Jeannie is 40 now I bet the statue of limitations have run out
Also Jeannie has money now even though he is gulity as sin. If she says his name she could be sued for defamation and loose lots of money
Victor D she can still report him as an adult.
@@thatgirlmaiyak8923 you can but there is still time frames in most states.
Wow, I can’t imagine my mom not believing her child👀…”I love him more than my own daughter!” WOW 😮
I would’ve never talked to her again. Period
she didn’t mean that she loved him more i think she meant she was showing him more love than her because he had no parents
She said what she said...we are making excuses for her with this language barrier reasoning...she speaks very clearly in every other situation. Her Mom needs to be be more repentant
That doesn’t justify what he did to Jeanie
Muy Mirw obviously not
J F i’m not and i didn’t even say how she was talking was the thing
@@JF-ru3jg I totally agree with you. How dare her say she loved him more. She knows what's she saying.
I was abused as a little girl and I felt bad and valueless. It's been difficult but I am doing much better. Thank you for sharing your story.
Bless you.
I know this video was done a while ago but it really set me free. My daughter just came out to tell me that my ex sexually abused her when she was six. I have been depressed for a few weeks now about it, I am so angry that I didn’t see what was going on. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Jennie you helped me to understand why my daughter feels the way she does. God bless you both.❤️❤️
Just listening to Jennie’s hurt is just heartbreaking. I’m so glad you believe in your baby. If all you do is confront your ex, confront him. Please forgive yourself, my friends mom never forgave herself for not knowing and it interfered in their relationship. I hope your baby finds the peace that she deserves. This is the time for counseling. Wishing you both Love, Peace and Happiness
.
@@imaginelovepeaceandhappine3281 thank you for those kind words. Yes I am talking to a professional about it, each day gets better. The relationship between us is great. She’s moved on from the help of her therapist - I’m the one who currently needs healing. Lastly, let me say this I totally believed my daughter. If she would have told me then I would have believed her- I think I probably would have lost it and did something I would later regret.
@@cmoore7305 you’re very welcome. I’m glad your baby is doing well. Give yourself permission to heal. 💜 ✌️ 😀!
Please don’t blame yourself. Sometimes we don’t see the signs and these predators know exactly how to control and manipulate situations so you never see it. You had no way of knowing. I’m so glad your daughter is in a better place and clearly she felt like you were her safe place since she could openly come out and tell you. She had faith and trust in you and you didn’t let her down. Sending love for your healing too ❤️
Send him to prison
wow this is an intense conversation. Definetely puts tears in my eyes. This makes me like Jennie more, She is very forgiving and open mind. Growing up in Asian family, hate to say parents never admit they are wrong or apology when they are wrong. I cannt believe Mama Mai repeatively said Jennie was an accident. I would never say this to my children
IT'S ALWAYS THE DAMN FAMILY MEMBER! PEOPLE YOU TRUST, BRING INTO YOUR HOME AND LOVED. So disgusting!
Ari literally! smh
I know I might sound crazy, but I wouldn't want anyone around my child at all. No daddy, aunt, cousin, family friend, no one.
@@nightangel3578 sexual asult dont just happen in families but out of families to.
Night Angel I don’t blame you at all. I say this all the time. I literally will only trust myself with my children, and my siblings, not even their significant others. no cousins, no uncles, aunts, NOBODY. idc if it sounds crazy I’m not risking it at all
@@LadyT3334 Don't trust your siblings too. I was little too & faced that from my mom's side of relatives. My mother even saw but didn't say a word.
This is an incredibly difficult conversation to have, for anyone. As a Vietnamese American woman, I applaud you and Mama Mai for tackling this serious issue. My heart goes out to you and hope this helps the healing.
Loria in Alabama, " This is very disturbing story, Because a child is being sexual abuse, and Mother's don't believe her! All because of love for a person who she considers as a Son," So! Sad
Well be happy they sharing it. Jeannie forgave her mom and her mom admitted her faults. They are happy thats what matters.
Thank you for sharing this. Coming from a Vietnamese family myself, and also experiencing similar trauma while growing up, and then not having that connection with my family because I am one of seven children, I know all too well the isolation and the confusion that you experienced. This gave me so much joy to see you and your mom reconnect. I have not accomplished that yet, and don’t know if I ever will; but it gave me something to believe in to see your story.
I love this ! This channel has helped and is still helping me get through this place called life, Jeanie defines what it means to normalizing having a conversation
Asian moms are rlly hard headed and show you tough love just a lil too tough.
K and K ok I love being asian but sucks for you because it made us the toughest people I know
Ain’t that the truth 😂
queenaphilippines I wouldn’t say the toughest people ever but ok you think how you want to:)❤️(this is also just my opinion not to start anything)❤️
Arlene Guerrero and that’s fine to have your own opinion like it was mine. It may not be to you but being asian and having some hard ass parents it made me one of the hardest and toughest girls I know. Where as others may disagree. I see toughness in all races but this was my opinion with experience.
@@reycamille7502
OK there's a huge ass difference between abuse and tough love. Tough love is requiring kids/people in general to take responsibility for their actions. Being too lenient and kind is gonna take a negative turn which is why tough love is a good thing.
Y'all are seriously out there making parents who show tough love like as if they're some kind of monsters.
I feel like people DONT talk about strained mother/daughter relationships. They always show GREAT mom/daughter “Best friend” relationships, but NEVER enough talk about moms who hate their daughter.... Or, Vice versa.
Jealousy
It can ruin any little girl.
Some mothers are evil and vicious and should have never had children. Some mothers are in direct competition with their own daughters. They are sick and demon possessed.
No it doesn’t
I guess because it’s not as common and people usually have that statin with fathers
I haven’t spoken to my mother in exactly a decade. After a childhood full of sexual abuse, mental abuse (at the hands of both my mother and father and other family members) foster homes, mental health facilities and so much more, She felt compelled to tell me I was her “big mistake” in an e-mail 6 times in BOLD. I already knew she had 2 abortions before me and my father having already 9 other kids got a vasectomy. They didn’t wait the 6 weeks (in 1971) to have sex so he splooged yet another kid inside her. Me. She did indeed go to abort me and the dr deemed it deadly for her so hey, here I am.
FUCK HER. I’m a way better mother than she ever was. I waited to have my child to be sure I wasn’t so fucking damaged I’d ruin another life. Have a great weekend ♥️
Marie Ba Wow. Wtf. How did you survive that? I would have killed myself. You're so strong 🙌
I’m glad that the two of you found closure. It takes a certain bravery to share this story of overcoming with the world. I send heartfelt praises to the both of you.
This is a real breakthrough coming from a Chinese/Vietnamese background
SERIOUSLY.
Yes my Mom's Jamaican and she's kinda similar single mom and very strong hardly ever saw her cry. So something like this is pretty amazing for them both.
And african too girl. We do the same there.
These kind of conversations would heal a lot of relationships.
Agreed
joidice slack I totally agree ❤️