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I did not talk to my mother over 7 month because I blamed her for my childhood. Eventually I forgot why I was so angry and hurt and we talk and meet again. But now after that I watched this and did the work on my mother and I am actually embarrassed how I treated my mother and will do everything not to hurt her again whilst she is still alive.
i was born for this, & hearing about what Katie had to break-thru to get here, a lot of suicidal thinking, her mind tormenting her with thoughts, imagery, ideas, the voice in her head, a torturer & she faced it down. reminds me of a quote: "...if you are trapped in a nightmare you will probably be more strongly motivated to awaken than someone who is just caught in the ups and downs of an ordinary dream." Eckhart Tolle, p.167, the Power of Now.
With Katie at The School of the Work I experienced the first time the NOW without any thoughts or brain chatter, just the Nothingness and Beauty of Life. Thank you Katie 🥰
Agreed. Lots of trash and crap on the internet, and it's easy to get sucked in. But I went ahead and paid for UA-cam premium so I could have ad free wisdom, interviews, TED Talks Etc. But I do have to be careful cuz it's easy to get sucked into True Crime, political crap so on so forth. But I love my UA-cam premium
The Work helps, it really helps. It breaks something in your brain, it brings you from illness to the truth. I am so greatful to this sweatheart named Katie ✨💝✨. Your thoughts are fake news, oh yes.
@@ferdinandalexander8053 Dear Ferdinand, there IS such a Person and she IS the first to tell me about the work. I don't think any more about what If. Why should I!? What is, is. And that is reality, truth and love. Katie gave her voice to me and I listened to it as I couldn't hear the voice inside me. At the end it is the same voice, the voice of love, truth, realiy, now, TAO ... however you want to name it. I am so greatful for her help. She helped me to find a tool to enlighten my stressful thoughts.
@@YesAvacan Again, she would tell you differently. Yes, what is, is. Define the word "is". It means, exist, be present or have being. That which is not present, not being, not now, is NOT. It does not exist, period! True, it's never about the words but that to which the words seem to point to or at. Only now is! There are numerous words that are used at synonymous pointers to all that is. Now, consciousness, presence, the infinite, truth, existence, reality, actuality, god, awareness, love, life, being, intelligence, and many others. These words point to what is. At they end of the day none of them can do the job as what is all there is of all there is, is wordless, unnamable, ineffable. There are no separate entities, no separate minds, no separate consciousness, no separate intelligence. Just infinite reality, pure now, alive conscious presence, being all that is being, right here, now. Yes, it may appear or seem there is a separate you that "feels" better or "thinks" it has found something that works or helps. Pure now, the present, infinite consciousness, is the ONLY self and it already is changeless perfection, undeviating aliveness, infinite presence and there is no "other" presence besides this presence that is all the presence there is. There are many methods, approaches, - isms and - ologies all designed to "get there" or "become" what you are now. They may seem to "work" as poultices or comforters but they have nothing to do with truth. None of them have any foundation in reality. Only reality can speak to the nature of reality. Its language is silence. Its action is being. Perfect stillness. Truth can't be conveyed to another because it precludes "otherness" so this is all I have to say on the subject
"This sweet heart named Katie". Why did you phrase it like that? You could have said Katie or this sweetheart. But you said "this sweetheart named Katie". Did you chose to write it like that to make a more literary and elegant sentence?
The end result of the Work is living in bliss, to be one with life instead of beeing one with your 'problems'. Life isn't as serious as the mind makes it out to be
In my case, my mother has a strong ego pattern and still is very psychologically shallow at 80. The Work and other insights about amygdala and the fearbased brain's constant chatter have finally ( after a life of anxiety and depression, medication, obesity and codependency) made me open enough to the moment that I can visit her every week without us arguing. This is IMO a way to the peace that surpasses understanding that the Bible talks about. True forgiveness.
This is perfect for me right now. I'm starting to heal from my upbringing and there's so much hurt coming back it's unbelievable. Didn't know it was all in there.
Not knowing their pain, now that is EXACTLY what we need to ask those in our lives. Not focusing on ourselves but caring about those closest to us. BINGO!!
This is wonderful...all the energy one spends blaming someone is turned around by taking responsibility( refocusing that blame energy)for your life and self love awareness 'cuz lets face it WE were never taught to LOVE one's self.Takes the victimhood out too.No more WOUNDOLOGY.....Time to reclaim your own power.
I really enjoyed every second, thank you so much. My mother had polio when she waa young. She had several operations to make the one shorter leg longer so she wouldn't have to walk so uneven. She also took Prozac when I was growing up for depression. My dad had several affairs and stayed after work many times drinking at bars. I then had thought I had the right to criticize her for being a mean mother at times. I didn't mention the several back surgeries too. Anyone who doesn't get the deep insight on their parents history would do themselves a world of good by trying to understand them and loving their pain away so they'll love you for understanding them on a deep level. My mom is 83 years old and I'm visiting her next week with a heart full of love and understanding rather then not understanding why she isn't always the most loving and has been critical of me and others. I understand why and love her unconditionally anyways. I just found your videos tonight. I thank God I did. I've been wanting to do the work but noone ever explained how even after decades of me searching how to do the work. You're much loved.
How wonderful it would be if Wisdom 2.0 could do at least 4 of these a year, with Byron Katie, and post it on their channel. Much better than the snippets of Byron Katie here and there on the internet.
OH my God! It's like my story with my Mother. Yes and it was all about me an about lack of love for myself. It feels such a revelation discovering this!
I am so curious what you mean by this comment. Me and my mum also have a very disfunctional relation so i expect to take some great wisdom from this video. Looking forward to it!
Ok it's about me and my lack of love for myself - but what has brought me to this stage of not accepting myself?? At 48 years I've come a long way with my mum. Finally I'm over the urge of putting all the blame on her cos I do see her in a different light now. Where she came from, the environment she was brought up and so on and so on. Having said all that the consequences of emotional dysfunction can have horrific outcomes on the ppl living with such a person. And with all respect to Katie but sometimes it needs to take distance from such ppl in order to be able to keep going. Esp when these ppl aren't willing at all looking over their own humps and question what they do/believe what is right and so on. I definitely have passed the stage of looking at mum with resentment but comments which refer to that most intimate relationship which is mum/daughter still do trigger me. Wishing u well :) Edit.... Gabor Mate has got some great videos on the topic of generational trauma plus healing and so on.
Been doing the work for a decade and so excited to see this video! Thankful for a desert moment from someone else that brought this desert girl so much healing.
So many wet eyes whilst watching this... it resonates so much with me and all the pain we're feeling and creating in this world. So lovely. Thank you sooo, so much!
I could always see Katie going to a restaurant and people tell her that the restaurant is full and she goes “could that absolutely be true?” and they’re like “um.. No” 😂😂😂 then she gets what she wants
I once liked her approach when I was very unaware of what trauma is or my own trauma. Now I‘m more for truly and radically accepting what is and that includes my thoughts and feelings. Do not get me wrong - I looked very deeply into what I think, do and feel and why. If it hurt, it did hurt - that‘s real AND it is okay. Exactly as it is. Suffering is a reality. No more need to gaslight myself out of my own experience, no need to change it - just being at peace with it.
This is golden! I've been watching a lot of BK going through this wirh other people . This really breaks it down allowing me to do it with myself. THANK YOU! So honest and authentic to actually question my perception and stories I have created and then perceived as the truth and reality. Then, the end is profound ..... gentle peace.
It's amazing what turning around means for this woman; it's always about her. When she turns around the phrase "my mom doesn't give me a hug," the phrase becomes, "I don't give myself a hug," while a more intuitive alternative would be, "I do not give my mom a hug." Also, it was heartbreaking how after nearly one hour of work, one participant stands up and says the mom is a "selfish bitch." And I was amazed at how wonderfully Byron Katie was able to handle that. I truly admire her.
Hej,me too,but notice what that woman said, she was going for therapy 25 years to get self impowered,and its obvious it didn't work. The work is amazing because it stops you from putting blame on others while at the same time it does not make you put the blame on yourself. That is what that woman mixed up. She is ,I suppose, thought to put the blame on someone.
Very annoying! Its impossible to contemplate during this session, I’ll get out of my concentration by some loud annoying commercials about a product no one needs...
hearing Tolle mention her name~ Katie, then seeing a podcast interview of what it took in her life to get her where she is. it's a brilliant format, one on one conversation on the stage, with audience mixing it up, back & forth, it's spacious, like there's room for a band to improvise adapt take the song in whatever direction it needs to go
There’s no coincidence in Christ , I believe this video was sent supernaturally to do “The Work” right in time of my beloved mothers anniversary in heaven (Feb 4th) Thanks Ms.Byron Katie for helping us all with such deep TRUTHS & contributing to healing from our trauma’s and self healing… I forgive my mother myself and others and will continue to do the work until I have forgiven EVERYONE .. God bless ❤
Thank you Vicki Howie via Chakra Boosters for the reintroduction to Byron Katie with a deeper understanding of Her & the Work!!!❤ Thank you Byron Katie for simplifying “THE WORK”. 💜
I could die from the pain of missing my best friend. Or not really my best friend, but they guy whom I thought was my best friend... He betrayed and abandoned me, discarded me like garbage. Replaced me for another. My mind can't fathom, my heart can't comprehend. I live in perpetual panic and constant longing... How could he not miss me? How could he do this to me? Did he just replace me, really, just like that? I'm dying inside. My soul is truly raped and my heart is shattered. REMINDER TO SELF: "Hard times don't create heroes. It is during the hard times when the 'hero' within us: is revealed." - Bob Riley
*1. In this situation, who angers, confuses, saddens, or disappoints you, and why?* I am with because emotion name Example: I am angry with Paul because he doesn’t listen to me . *2. In this situation, how do you want them to change? What do you want them to do?* I want to name Example: I want Paul to see that he is wrong. I want him to stop lying to me. I want him to see that he is killing himself. *3. In this situation, what advice would you offer to them?* should/shouldn’t name Example: Paul should take a deep breath . He should calm down. He should see that his behavior frightens me . He should know that being right is not worth another heart attack . *4. In order for you to be happy in this situation, what do you need them to think, say, feel, or do?* I need to name Example: I need Paul to hear me when I talk to him. I need him to take care of himself. I need him to admit that I am right. *5. What do you think of them in this situation?* Make a list. (Remember, be petty and judgmental.) is name Example: Paul is unfair, arrogant, loud, dishonest, way out of line, and unconscious. *6. What is it about this situation that you don’t ever want to experience again?* I don’t ever want. Example: I don’t ever want Paul to lie to me again . I don’t ever want to see him ruining his health again .
carlos tejada what are u on about emotions can only be healed by the heart not by the works or the way you wrote about it. Emotions can be hell or heaven depends how you treat them. If people continue treating like the script you wrote they will never heal. People need to know that they are in a mess but there are self helping tools ( inward) to heal them so they can reach their goal. The goal is to become the best version of themselves Negative emotions create different vibrations in the body ( e.g. fear - holds the vibration of anger and frustration etc) when people experience these emotions they need to go into the heart bc the heart is the origin place the rest ( such as the works and etc) is translating. People need to know that this is not wise to translate their feelings but to go in the heart and ask what is this feeling? What are the emotional wounds hidden behind this pain or negative emotion? Then accept it and let it go with the breath. This brings up a lot of suffering but its a process. All the processes have their cycle which needs to be respected. Did this ( the work) worked for you? Do you have inner peace? Do you have joy and passion for life? I can tell you not. This is the work of ego just look what you wrote. When you work with thoughts without healing negative emotions then you write like you do bc the ideas are coming from the head, the solutions are coming from the head trying to heal the body from head to toe. People need to know that this is not true the body begins healing from toe to head. For everything put attention to your heart and heal the body then you can feel the breath of life the joy the passion and the love to be and to be alive. Begin a journey with the heart the rest is nothingness. No heart no love no healing no joy just you writing in this situation and for example 💁💋❤️🙏
i was born for this, & hearing about what Katie had to break-thru to get here, a lot of suicidal thinking, her mind tormenting her with thoughts, the voice in her head, & she faced it down. reminds me of a quote: "...if you are trapped in a nightmare you will probably be more strongly motivated to awaken than someone who is just caught in the ups and downs of an ordinary dream." E.Tolle, p.167, the Power of Now.
things have changed since Covid. our sons will not hug us anymore in case they kill us because we are old and vulnerable. life has become a little bit more difficult, since the no touching edicts xxx Susan 👵🤯😪🫂💜🙏🏻
Even though this video is 5 years old I am still here because I have read her book “Loving what is” recommend by my psychotherapist. I always thought my problems were due to a horse accident I was in while attending CSUF . But I was finally tested it’s now a the test has concluded that I have a Personality Disorder leaning towards anxiety. I am an American who now has lived in Denmark since 88.
Sorry Mrs. Katie buy every 1.5 minutes is a Commercial and I don't have time to keep looking at my phone here at work. I here you say beautiful inquiries. God Bless 🙏
I feel this is transposing adult responsibility to care for their young onto the child. This psychology works well with adults but it is never a child's responsibility to think like an adult or to self-soothe the lacks and abuses caused by the adults in their world.
Diana Boughner I think you are misunderstanding this work. Athens child has no idea what the parent is going through but we tend to carry these hurt feelings throughout life and unconsciously into our adult relationships. If we ne er discover this or find a way to let go of it we will continue to repeat our patterns.
I see many comments stating that she was too hard on the first subject. Byron Katie knows exactly what she's doing and she knows someone who cloaks themselves in their victimization. Her approach is forcing this young lady to examine her own expectations and to learn how to manage them. The idea that children can't do for themselves is a lie we've taught our kids far too long. I don't see where this was cruel in any way. Who would you be if you couldn't blame mom anymore? The idea that a parent is supposed to helicopter around their child and find all of their needs for them creates codependent and emotionally crippled and insecure children.
Should parents be expected to meet the needs of their children? If so to which extent? Is the child right to be angry if it's need hasn't been met? Is the child right to be angry if he has been abused? Where's the line?
@@thisisntallowed9560 The point Byron Katie is trying to make is although a parent neglected a child from the child's point of view she is trying to help the now adult child to see other aspects of her mom that she she couldn't see as a child and to see that maybe some things perceived aren't what they are. Her mother only knew what she knew even if they are abusive that's all they know. It's not that it's the child's fault but as an adult now to see the whole scenario in a different light it releases the adult child to free herself from the agony of neglect and know she's her own mother to herself.
@@sunray8136 I agree with what you say. The problem is, in my opinion, that it's not that easy to forgive neglect, and I think forcing forgiveness can be bad. It's hard for me to understand because the relashionship with my parents is so different, but I feel like she forgave only to feel better with herself because she feels bad about being angry at her mom that she likes. I might be wrong tho
People need to look at it as taking her frlm victim mentality to victor. If someone else can control your thoughts and emotions you will never get better, if you know that you are in control of your thoughts and emotions it frees you it is liberating, it means your life can change any way you want. I dont like the way she explains things I've watched a few videos of hers and I just dont get wtf shes trying to say half the time.
I wonder why people go to all of these talks just to argue with a woman who is trying to help us to understand the torture that we put onto ourselves with our thoughts .We get so offended when someone tries to take away the horrible things that have happened to us . You know what I say? PLEASE TAKE IT. You can have it. I won’t keep torturing myself with the thoughts about it. The first time ( when it actually happened) was enough . No thank you . I won’t allow that event to destroy me ever again.
Some people seem to learn that way. Their brain wants it explained in a different way that makes more sense. I personally don't I just hope it'll make sense to me later 😝
I get where Katie Byron wants to go, BUT a child is still a child and this woman needs to know that it's not her fault that she didn't say "mommy, turn around and hug me" - because she probably didn't learn the language to ask for stuff - having such a mother. This process is shortcutting some pretty important stuff that happens in therapy. There IS a responsibility as a mother to provide safety and provide for the child to be seen and understood. Not to a perfect degree, but to a big degree. If you place all the responsibility on the now grown person to change ones perception, you still have the feelings and traumas within yourself. Sometimes, you got to work actively with the feelings in therapy.
yeah, this didn't sit right with me for this reason. I started trying to apply this to situations with my abusive mother and realized pretty quickly this is work for therapy first!
Definitely (italics). She's missing the different developmental levels. The ADULT can go back and look and make peace with a parent's shortcomings, but in the moment (italics) where the wound was formed, there WAS a need that cannot be self-generated. If kids could parent themselves we'd be a very different species.
This was odd to me. I can understand how NOW she can get here present day. But to ask her to go to the moment and make it her responsibility seemed off.
The work is about seeing and reliving the story that is bothering you from more than your own perspective. Realising that wathever others did, they did not new better and taking responsibility for what you could have done to change it. Step by step moving to the position of coming to terms with it, reprogramming yourself and living in peace with the story that has in reality not much to do with the presence.
You know the phrase, "He's The MAN"? Well, Byron Katie is "The WOMAN!" She really knows her stuff when it comes to therapeutic, transformational conversations of healing through self-kindness!
I don't understand how a small child would be able to be there for themselves,loving and understanding themselves and not needing their parent to do that for them. It is simply not realistic to have that happen in your childhood. I can see how a grown person can do that, but not a child.
You're absolutely right. A lot of what Katie is doing is brainwashing and shaming people and attempting to make them deny reality and accept a hypothetical alternative version. Hypotheses are never real. Life is real. When the woman who said sometimes there IS a real person standing there threatening her life, Katie 's response was glib and callous. It was a response that is dangerous to all victims of domestic violence or abuse experienced in childhood. Katie 's approach is reprehensible. She is harming people with this superficial bullshit.
You are correct. Katie Byron is a narcissist. She's not enlightened. Anyone suffering from trauma who seeks a compassionate expert on the subject, please check out Gabor Mate'. For anyone interested in higher consciousness and enlightenment, Mooji is another person worth checking out.
I think it’s about realizing we’re not a child anymore. We’re adults now. So we can choose to change the meaning we give ourselves as kids and free ourselves.
Thank you, Byron Katie! Even though I took you 9-day intensive several years ago in Ojai, and spent 2 years working with others in our groups, it is interesting what will still come up--an old worn out story, that if not diving deep enough into the emotions of the event can be hijacked by the mind. But what I really loved about this was your story of a stranger, and singing to you, and your mentioning 'it's who and what we are' the love and kindness-- AND SO BEAUTIFUL, "It's an amazing world, it is an incredible world, and love you don't miss it, I love that you don't miss this beautiful world and wake up to reality.... I don't want you to miss it"
Watch Marissa Peer or Eckhart Tolle for a more comprehensive understanding. It all about us, it took years to understand my relationship with my parents
coldlessons So you know something about ‘the work’ but you have never tried it. Your suffering is a choice. Why not do something about it instead of insulting others.
coldlessons I’d love to have a discussion of a worksheet that you do on Byron Katie or anyone because the work has changed my life for the better. I invite you to give it a chance, what have you got to loose. If not me why not call the number on the website and have someone walk you through it for free.
I've lived with resentment all of my life re: "spoiled kids" who have had good enough parents that they don't see what it would be without one at all. I see now that, with no ambiguity, It was actually maybe a bit easier. I could not expect anything. It's an inside job, that's for sure. Love the work
My person has NPD (narcissistic personality disorder). I've chosen to stay with him for the best practice imaginable. He has become kind, caring, respectful, with me! When there is a now-rare glitch in our harmony and I go down the pain-hole, I want to apologize to him for being and acting hurt and angry (If there's a next time, I will apologize. He loves surprises) I had fallen asleep, so to speak, and got in the way of him living his life. This will sound crazy to people unfamiliar with The Work. It's a challenging path but it's mine to love and heal with.
That does sound crazy and much like self gaslighting. It’s your choice to make and only you know how it really is for you now. I have stayed in relationships for a similar reason, to work on myself and it eventually led to adding on further false masks while I was thinking I was healing them. A red alarm bell I can see in your comment is you saying that you got in the way of his happiness by falling asleep or that you apologize for “being hurt”. The problem with that is that we are not islands. It’s a give and take, make sure your own self or parts of your are not being deprived of attention and especially consideration for the sake of maintaining harmony. I highly recommend you also take a dive into Teal Swan’s work as she’s the biggest proponent of Shadow Work (which is also what Byron Katie does, so it’s right up your alley). Different tools for different moments for different situations but what matters the most is your presence with yourself and that you never never never invalidate your true feelings. Work through them yes, but never put a, so to say, “it’s fine” happy sticker on them and stiffle them. All the best to you. I personally wouldn’t stay in a relationship with a partner where only I work on myself only I show up and only I take responsibility.
My "childhood trauma" is that I had a wonderful childhood with loving parents, and friends in my neighborhood, across the street and around the corner... and then it was over. Part of me still wants to have a life like that, instead of all my friends being far away and my family spread across town and busy. But why should I expect adult life to be anything like my childhood? Why do I have expectations of life being a certain way instead of the reality of what it is? Why do I need it to be different?
There is some validity to understanding the other person but we do NEED our mother's acknowledgement as well! That is also important connection. We can forgive our mother's faults but still realize the connection would be healing. Happiness is not the first goal in life! A CHILD will lhave a CHILD's perspective & NEED the mother's attention.
I have no idea what this video is about. I paused it within a few seconds. I came here by accident 😅 sounded very familiar and my heart got full of Joy. I started smiling as if I knew what this is about. I’m practicing surrendering, therefore I will finish the video and write a “review” after. Again. As now I don’t know who the speaker is or what the “The work” is about, but I trust the algorithm 😅
After completing the worksheet: What you were believing, those are thoughts you’re still dealing with now. Those are the cause of separation, trauma, your emotions, and the way you treat others. The thoughts you have written down are so powerful that they create your identity. What you are thinking and believing is the cause of all war in my home and in my life. The thoughts on your paper, they are what you’re traveling with. They will attach to anyone. - Byron Katie
Is anyone else's mind fighting them and doesn't want to stay anchored in the feeling?? Writing this comment is a pretty good way for my mind to be distracted I've just noticed ;)
Brain is resisting. Totally normal however you MUST keep doing the work to overcome the mind. If you do NOT overcome your mind you will never, never experience change.
Totally, also saw that it was 2 hour long and a whole lot of excuses got out of my mind, after really getting into it, I couldn't stop watching until it ended.
I’m sorry...being alone for 14 yrs after all close relatives died & all close friends have moved away...a hug from oneself does NOT FEEL LIKE A HUG & I think sometimes I’m following this, but maybe I’m really not...many people need family...this I don’t understand...I thought we were interdependent on each other...I’m not sure how we can be completely independent...esp when disabled. I just don’t understand all of this. But it is only my 3rd video of Byron Katie.
This ..... ? No. Working with the girl and her mom was not a fit for this work - however, the tender work of healing through self love and the acceptance that each of us, ourselves, is our own work and path of healing. We can not change others, but we can truly and deeply learn to love & accept ourselves - “that” is “the work”
The four noble truths The truth of suffering (dukkha) The truth of the cause of suffering (samudaya) The truth of the end of suffering (nirhodha) The truth of the path that frees us from suffering (magga)
"I respect and honor what she is doing,like the cooking,cleaning etc. "Byron says that to the woman about her mother.What if the mother is being abusive somehow?
Hi larcibella To shift and keep one's consciousness to a higher state... in the moment... ...instead of it sinking and it becoming a sling match ...is the shift. How about staying stable anyway and saying: 'This is inappropriate.' and 'I respect and honor what you have been doing for me. Thank you for that.' The above may not (make that... will not!) work first time. May work over 3 years. Yes, sometimes its very very difficult. The other option... to sink is no option. To speak and inspire others to speak from higher consciousness is the to do.
However, if one says 'This is inappropriate.' See 13:37 Ego will be like: 'I got this one.' And fireworks. Simply: 'I respect and honor what you have been doing for me. Thank you for that.' Acknowledgement and Appreciation of only the best aspects shorten the time...
the mother was not emotionally available and this unfortunately is what children go to all the time as they had no empatic parents either, so they suppressed their own feelings and are scared to be confronted with their childs pain(emotional). It doesn't mean she didn't love her daughter, but she was not emotionally available and supportive for her daughter.this one is a bad example for the work, as this young woman NEEDED an available mother who would be more interested in her daughter when she was suffering in stead of keeping her focus on the dinner. I would have felt exactly the same as this young woman. She needs to talk to her mother to tell she has been missing this emotional presence of her. A parent has to pay attention to the emotional needs of the child. If they are cared for they will grow up to be strong adults, other wise they will continue to look for someone else to lean on. This is a very important to feel parents who are available and supportive.
The Work is not about telling people that it is right to be unavailable as a parent. The Work is about healing your own pain en putting things in the right place. I'm sure this young woman will be available to her own children in case she gets them and makes the world a better place because she did this work on her own hurt feelings
@13 re: statement 1 on the judge your neighbor worksheet.......not what he/she/they said or did then - but the thought i was thinking and believing then - was the cause of my suffering then. (and not a way to attack another human being through my anger) @14 the ego's work: there's nothing that isn't love. love is another word for understanding. once the ego understands its' true nature, you can do the work on yourself and it's not going to argue. it wants to find a home in itself. until then it's like war. we don't want to quiet the ego. love is the power.
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Thank u fir changing my perspective. How can I continue the work locally - on Long Island, NY? Is there a group list for different areas?
I did not talk to my mother over 7 month because I blamed her for my childhood. Eventually I forgot why I was so angry and hurt and we talk and meet again. But now after that I watched this and did the work on my mother and I am actually embarrassed how I treated my mother and will do everything not to hurt her again whilst she is still alive.
How is it going for you?
lucky you...
i was born for this, & hearing about what Katie had to break-thru to get here, a lot of suicidal thinking, her mind tormenting her with thoughts, imagery, ideas, the voice in her head, a torturer & she faced it down.
reminds me of a quote: "...if you are trapped in a nightmare you will probably be more strongly motivated to awaken than someone who is just caught in the ups and downs of an ordinary dream." Eckhart Tolle, p.167, the Power of Now.
With Katie at The School of the Work I experienced the first time the NOW without any thoughts or brain chatter, just the Nothingness and Beauty of Life. Thank you Katie 🥰
This is when I love the internet - being exposed to the best from all over the world 🌍
Agreed. Lots of trash and crap on the internet, and it's easy to get sucked in. But I went ahead and paid for UA-cam premium so I could have ad free wisdom, interviews, TED Talks Etc. But I do have to be careful cuz it's easy to get sucked into True Crime, political crap so on so forth. But I love my UA-cam premium
...but you can also get it without UA-cam premium. :-) I bet it's nice to not be interrupted with ads though. :-)
UA-cam is demonic. Don't kid yourself.
every time i listen to her, she amazes me again and again. her open mind is more beautiful then any flower on the earth. Thank you Katie. love you
Words can’t express how much I love Byron and the hells her processes have pulled my mind out of ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I was feeling very wise and spiritual as I watched others go through the work. Then I did the work on myself ...
😅 we’re all in the same boat aye
I love this ❤
Yess kkkk
Haha
The Work helps, it really helps. It breaks something in your brain, it brings you from illness to the truth.
I am so greatful to this sweatheart named Katie ✨💝✨.
Your thoughts are fake news, oh yes.
Why? When there is no such person and she'd be the first to tell you so.
@@ferdinandalexander8053 Dear Ferdinand, there IS such a Person and she IS the first to tell me about the work.
I don't think any more about what If. Why should I!? What is, is. And that is reality, truth and love.
Katie gave her voice to me and I listened to it as I couldn't hear the voice inside me. At the end it is the same voice, the voice of love, truth, realiy, now, TAO ... however you want to name it.
I am so greatful for her help. She helped me to find a tool to enlighten my stressful thoughts.
@@YesAvacan Again, she would tell you differently. Yes, what is, is. Define the word "is". It means, exist, be present or have being. That which is not present, not being, not now, is NOT. It does not exist, period! True, it's never about the words but that to which the words seem to point to or at. Only now is! There are numerous words that are used at synonymous pointers to all that is. Now, consciousness, presence, the infinite, truth, existence, reality, actuality, god, awareness, love, life, being, intelligence, and many others. These words point to what is. At they end of the day none of them can do the job as what is all there is of all there is, is wordless, unnamable, ineffable. There are no separate entities, no separate minds, no separate consciousness, no separate intelligence. Just infinite reality, pure now, alive conscious presence, being all that is being, right here, now. Yes, it may appear or seem there is a separate you that "feels" better or "thinks" it has found something that works or helps. Pure now, the present, infinite consciousness, is the ONLY self and it already is changeless perfection, undeviating aliveness, infinite presence and there is no "other" presence besides this presence that is all the presence there is. There are many methods, approaches, - isms and - ologies all designed to "get there" or "become" what you are now. They may seem to "work" as poultices or comforters but they have nothing to do with truth. None of them have any foundation in reality. Only reality can speak to the nature of reality. Its language is silence. Its action is being. Perfect stillness. Truth can't be conveyed to another because it precludes "otherness" so this is all I have to say on the subject
YesAvaCan wonderful!
"This sweet heart named Katie". Why did you phrase it like that? You could have said Katie or this sweetheart. But you said "this sweetheart named Katie". Did you chose to write it like that to make a more literary and elegant sentence?
The end result of the Work is living in bliss, to be one with life instead of beeing one with your 'problems'. Life isn't as serious as the mind makes it out to be
This Lovely Lady saved my life.. I LOVE & ADORE the Work & Byron Katie..Thank you wonderful Lady ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Adry Armani wonderful!
I'm doing "The Work" now.
She's Amazing
Adry armani your obviously impressed by the work and id like a chat around this if possible?
She saved my life too
In my case, my mother has a strong ego pattern and still is very psychologically shallow at 80. The Work and other insights about amygdala and the fearbased brain's constant chatter have finally ( after a life of anxiety and depression, medication, obesity and codependency) made me open enough to the moment that I can visit her every week without us arguing. This is IMO a way to the peace that surpasses understanding that the Bible talks about. True forgiveness.
This is perfect for me right now. I'm starting to heal from my upbringing and there's so much hurt coming back it's unbelievable. Didn't know it was all in there.
Courage! in French pronunciation. very positive xxxsusan 👵💜🫂🙏🏻
✨✨✨✨
How are you doing now snoozy? I find this work and breaking old habits very difficult.
Not knowing their pain, now that is EXACTLY what we need to ask those in our lives. Not focusing on ourselves but caring about those closest to us. BINGO!!
Fear is the fake news; Love is the good news. Goodness in the moment is what I will look for.
Love that!
She radiates elegance, grace and beauty
Absolutely!
Was given this book almost 10 years ago by my mom, finally ready to do the work ❤❤(kicking myself in the b that I don’t do this sooner!!)
This is wonderful...all the energy one spends blaming someone is turned around by taking responsibility( refocusing that blame energy)for your life and self love awareness 'cuz lets face it WE were never taught to LOVE one's self.Takes the victimhood out too.No more WOUNDOLOGY.....Time to reclaim your own power.
Woundology ... yes ~ time for it to go ~
I really enjoyed every second, thank you so much. My mother had polio when she waa young. She had several operations to make the one shorter leg longer so she wouldn't have to walk so uneven. She also took Prozac when I was growing up for depression. My dad had several affairs and stayed after work many times drinking at bars. I then had thought I had the right to criticize her for being a mean mother at times. I didn't mention the several back surgeries too. Anyone who doesn't get the deep insight on their parents history would do themselves a world of good by trying to understand them and loving their pain away so they'll love you for understanding them on a deep level. My mom is 83 years old and I'm visiting her next week with a heart full of love and understanding rather then not understanding why she isn't always the most loving and has been critical of me and others. I understand why and love her unconditionally anyways.
I just found your videos tonight. I thank God I did. I've been wanting to do the work but noone ever explained how even after decades of me searching how to do the work. You're much loved.
How wonderful it would be if Wisdom 2.0 could do at least 4 of these a year, with Byron Katie, and post it on their channel. Much better than the snippets of Byron Katie here and there on the internet.
The end game of this self inquiry is to Connect with our true Self and the proof of that is Intense Bliss. 💙
Yesssss ❤️❤️❤️❤️
OH my God! It's like my story with my Mother. Yes and it was all about me an about lack of love for myself. It feels such a revelation discovering this!
I am so curious what you mean by this comment. Me and my mum also have a very disfunctional relation so i expect to take some great wisdom from this video. Looking forward to it!
Ok it's about me and my lack of love for myself - but what has brought me to this stage of not accepting myself?? At 48 years I've come a long way with my mum. Finally I'm over the urge of putting all the blame on her cos I do see her in a different light now. Where she came from, the environment she was brought up and so on and so on.
Having said all that the consequences of emotional dysfunction can have horrific outcomes on the ppl living with such a person. And with all respect to Katie but sometimes it needs to take distance from such ppl in order to be able to keep going. Esp when these ppl aren't willing at all looking over their own humps and question what they do/believe what is right and so on.
I definitely have passed the stage of looking at mum with resentment but comments which refer to that most intimate relationship which is mum/daughter still do trigger me.
Wishing u well :)
Edit.... Gabor Mate has got some great videos on the topic of generational trauma plus healing and so on.
This is an absolute gold mine. Absolutely wonderful, I'm very greatful for this video. Thank you. God bless you all I love you very much.
Been doing the work for a decade and so excited to see this video! Thankful for a desert moment from someone else that brought this desert girl so much healing.
So many wet eyes whilst watching this... it resonates so much with me and all the pain we're feeling and creating in this world. So lovely. Thank you sooo, so much!
I could always see Katie going to a restaurant and people tell her that the restaurant is full and she goes “could that absolutely be true?” and they’re like “um.. No” 😂😂😂 then she gets what she wants
Hahahahh
I can see that haha 😂
😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂
I once liked her approach when I was very unaware of what trauma is or my own trauma. Now I‘m more for truly and radically accepting what is and that includes my thoughts and feelings. Do not get me wrong - I looked very deeply into what I think, do and feel and why. If it hurt, it did hurt - that‘s real AND it is okay. Exactly as it is. Suffering is a reality. No more need to gaslight myself out of my own experience, no need to change it - just being at peace with it.
Check out Gabor Mate' if you aren't already aware of him.
@@lauraross9005 yes i know him :)
This is golden! I've been watching a lot of BK going through this wirh other people . This really breaks it down allowing me to do it with myself. THANK YOU! So honest and authentic to actually question my perception and stories I have created and then perceived as the truth and reality. Then, the end is profound ..... gentle peace.
It's amazing what turning around means for this woman; it's always about her. When she turns around the phrase "my mom doesn't give me a hug," the phrase becomes, "I don't give myself a hug," while a more intuitive alternative would be, "I do not give my mom a hug." Also, it was heartbreaking how after nearly one hour of work, one participant stands up and says the mom is a "selfish bitch." And I was amazed at how wonderfully Byron Katie was able to handle that. I truly admire her.
What if someone rapes you? What if someone kills your child? What if you're living in abject poverty
Hej,me too,but notice what that woman said, she was going for therapy 25 years to get self impowered,and its obvious it didn't work. The work is amazing because it stops you from putting blame on others while at the same time it does not make you put the blame on yourself. That is what that woman mixed up. She is ,I suppose, thought to put the blame on someone.
❤️Spirit into matter ❤️ Thank you Baron Katie for doing the work 🕊
Dear Byron Katie, You give important inspirations for psychological work, in the sense of a wonderful meta-level. And that with cordiality.
I love this work. The 16 ads in the first hour?! Not so much!
Very annoying! Its impossible to contemplate during this session, I’ll get out of my concentration by some loud annoying commercials about a product no one needs...
@@medeaendor3706 on a cel phone? Stupid man.
@@CybeleParsignault Vanced youtube app google it :)
wow medea....
@@medeaendor3706 how can somebody as vile and abusive as you be on a byron katie video? 😂
hearing Tolle mention her name~ Katie, then seeing a podcast interview of what it took in her life to get her where she is.
it's a brilliant format, one on one conversation on the stage, with audience mixing it up, back & forth, it's spacious, like there's room for a band to improvise adapt take the song in whatever direction it needs to go
Her voice sounds like ruby Wax. Thank you so much for everything Byron Katie.
I have ears to hear this powerful information now. THANK YOU❤️
Blessed to have you in this world!
Thank you!
There’s no coincidence in Christ , I believe this video was sent supernaturally to do “The Work” right in time of my beloved mothers anniversary in heaven (Feb 4th)
Thanks Ms.Byron Katie for helping us all with such deep TRUTHS & contributing to healing from our trauma’s and self healing… I forgive my mother myself and others and will continue to do the work until I have forgiven EVERYONE .. God bless ❤
Thank you Vicki Howie via Chakra Boosters for the reintroduction to Byron Katie with a deeper understanding of Her & the Work!!!❤
Thank you Byron Katie for simplifying “THE WORK”. 💜
" you're here by accident"... now that makes sense. Love it!
I could die from the pain of missing my best friend.
Or not really my best friend,
but they guy whom I thought was my best friend...
He betrayed and abandoned me,
discarded me like garbage.
Replaced me for another.
My mind can't fathom, my heart can't comprehend.
I live in perpetual panic and constant longing...
How could he not miss me?
How could he do this to me?
Did he just replace me, really, just like that?
I'm dying inside. My soul is truly raped
and my heart is shattered.
REMINDER TO SELF:
"Hard times don't create heroes.
It is during the hard times when the 'hero' within us: is revealed."
- Bob Riley
*1. In this situation, who angers, confuses, saddens, or disappoints you, and why?*
I am with because
emotion name
Example: I am angry with Paul because he doesn’t listen to me .
*2. In this situation, how do you want them to change? What do you want them to do?* I want
to
name
Example: I want Paul to see that he is wrong. I want him to stop lying to me. I want him to see that he is killing himself.
*3. In this situation, what advice would you offer to them?*
should/shouldn’t
name
Example: Paul should take a deep breath . He should calm down. He should see that his behavior frightens me . He should know that being right is not worth another heart attack .
*4. In order for you to be happy in this situation, what do you need them to think, say, feel, or do?* I need
to
name
Example: I need Paul to hear me when I talk to him. I need him to take care of himself. I need him to admit that I am right.
*5. What do you think of them in this situation?* Make a list. (Remember, be petty and judgmental.)
is
name
Example: Paul is unfair, arrogant, loud, dishonest, way out of line, and unconscious.
*6. What is it about this situation that you don’t ever want to experience again?* I don’t ever want.
Example: I don’t ever want Paul to lie to me again . I don’t ever want to see him ruining his health again .
carlos tejada what are u on about emotions can only be healed by the heart not by the works or the way you wrote about it. Emotions can be hell or heaven depends how you treat them. If people continue treating like the script you wrote they will never heal. People need to know that they are in a mess but there are self helping tools ( inward) to heal them so they can reach their goal. The goal is to become the best version of themselves Negative emotions create different vibrations in the body ( e.g. fear - holds the vibration of anger and frustration etc) when people experience these emotions they need to go into the heart bc the heart is the origin place the rest ( such as the works and etc) is translating. People need to know that this is not wise to translate their feelings but to go in the heart and ask what is this feeling? What are the emotional wounds hidden behind this pain or negative emotion? Then accept it and let it go with the breath. This brings up a lot of suffering but its a process. All the processes have their cycle which needs to be respected. Did this ( the work) worked for you? Do you have inner peace? Do you have joy and passion for life? I can tell you not. This is the work of ego just look what you wrote. When you work with thoughts without healing negative emotions then you write like you do bc the ideas are coming from the head, the solutions are coming from the head trying to heal the body from head to toe. People need to know that this is not true the body begins healing from toe to head. For everything put attention to your heart and heal the body then you can feel the breath of life the joy the passion and the love to be and to be alive. Begin a journey with the heart the rest is nothingness. No heart no love no healing no joy just you writing in this situation and for example 💁💋❤️🙏
Thanks for writing out the questions. Now I can make up my own worksheet! 🙏🏼
abc abc he’s writing it out as an example for other...I think you missed the point. It was a service to others.
Thank you! i had thought 2 and 3 were the same thing and got all out of whack haha this helped me put them back into order thanks!
@@abcabc9366 k
Awesome! This woman is a Goddess-given gift to humanity
YESSSSSS
There is no such Goddess, no such person. Even she would tell you that.
God is your own human imagination. That's God the Father.
i was born for this, & hearing about what Katie had to break-thru to get here, a lot of suicidal thinking, her mind tormenting her with thoughts, the voice in her head, & she faced it down.
reminds me of a quote: "...if you are trapped in a nightmare you will probably be more strongly motivated to awaken than someone who is just caught in the ups and downs of an ordinary dream." E.Tolle, p.167, the Power of Now.
things have changed since Covid. our sons will not hug us anymore in case they kill us because we are old and vulnerable. life has become a little bit more difficult, since the no touching edicts xxx Susan 👵🤯😪🫂💜🙏🏻
Even though this video is 5 years old I am still here because I have read her book “Loving what is” recommend by my psychotherapist. I always thought my problems were due to a horse accident I was in while attending CSUF . But I was finally tested it’s now a the test has concluded that I have a Personality Disorder leaning towards anxiety. I am an American who now has lived in Denmark since 88.
Thanks for the waking up to wisdom.
i am grateful for this work... it helps me make sense and understand the world and myself..
Wow. This is so amazing and insightful. I had tears...
Sorry Mrs. Katie buy every 1.5 minutes is a Commercial and I don't have time to keep looking at my phone here at work. I here you say beautiful inquiries. God Bless 🙏
Yes Katie, nondual spirituality, our true nature, is the Way/Tao
this girl in the red tee shirt has a wonderful sense of humor. i think she is going to be ok.
I feel this is transposing adult responsibility to care for their young onto the child. This psychology works well with adults but it is never a child's responsibility to think like an adult or to self-soothe the lacks and abuses caused by the adults in their world.
Diana Boughner
I think you are misunderstanding this work. Athens child has no idea what the parent is going through but we tend to carry these hurt feelings throughout life and unconsciously into our adult relationships. If we ne er discover this or find a way to let go of it we will continue to repeat our patterns.
@@Queenie-the-genie Yes, thank you. I get it now. 😊
teal swan brought me here😍
T
Me too! 💝
❤️❤️❤️
Me too
Me too
I see many comments stating that she was too hard on the first subject. Byron Katie knows exactly what she's doing and she knows someone who cloaks themselves in their victimization. Her approach is forcing this young lady to examine her own expectations and to learn how to manage them. The idea that children can't do for themselves is a lie we've taught our kids far too long. I don't see where this was cruel in any way. Who would you be if you couldn't blame mom anymore? The idea that a parent is supposed to helicopter around their child and find all of their needs for them creates codependent and emotionally crippled and insecure children.
Should parents be expected to meet the needs of their children? If so to which extent?
Is the child right to be angry if it's need hasn't been met? Is the child right to be angry if he has been abused? Where's the line?
@@thisisntallowed9560 The point Byron Katie is trying to make is although a parent neglected a child from the child's point of view she is trying to help the now adult child to see other aspects of her mom that she she couldn't see as a child and to see that maybe some things perceived aren't what they are. Her mother only knew what she knew even if they are abusive that's all they know. It's not that it's the child's fault but as an adult now to see the whole scenario in a different light it releases the adult child to free herself from the agony of neglect and know she's her own mother to herself.
@@sunray8136 I agree with what you say. The problem is, in my opinion, that it's not that easy to forgive neglect, and I think forcing forgiveness can be bad. It's hard for me to understand because the relashionship with my parents is so different, but I feel like she forgave only to feel better with herself because she feels bad about being angry at her mom that she likes. I might be wrong tho
@@thisisntallowed9560 I think you are right. I agree.
People need to look at it as taking her frlm victim mentality to victor. If someone else can control your thoughts and emotions you will never get better, if you know that you are in control of your thoughts and emotions it frees you it is liberating, it means your life can change any way you want. I dont like the way she explains things I've watched a few videos of hers and I just dont get wtf shes trying to say half the time.
I wonder why people go to all of these talks just to argue with a woman who is trying to help us to understand the torture that we put onto ourselves with our thoughts .We get so offended when someone tries to take away the horrible things that have happened to us .
You know what I say? PLEASE TAKE IT. You can have it. I won’t keep torturing myself with the thoughts about it. The first time ( when it actually happened) was enough . No thank you . I won’t allow that event to destroy me ever again.
Some people seem to learn that way. Their brain wants it explained in a different way that makes more sense. I personally don't I just hope it'll make sense to me later 😝
Thanks to Teal Swan for leading me here. This has been so helpful. Thank you Byron Katie for "The Work" and all your work
love you Katie and the work
I get where Katie Byron wants to go, BUT a child is still a child and this woman needs to know that it's not her fault that she didn't say "mommy, turn around and hug me" - because she probably didn't learn the language to ask for stuff - having such a mother. This process is shortcutting some pretty important stuff that happens in therapy. There IS a responsibility as a mother to provide safety and provide for the child to be seen and understood. Not to a perfect degree, but to a big degree. If you place all the responsibility on the now grown person to change ones perception, you still have the feelings and traumas within yourself. Sometimes, you got to work actively with the feelings in therapy.
yeah, this didn't sit right with me for this reason. I started trying to apply this to situations with my abusive mother and realized pretty quickly this is work for therapy first!
Definitely (italics). She's missing the different developmental levels. The ADULT can go back and look and make peace with a parent's shortcomings, but in the moment (italics) where the wound was formed, there WAS a need that cannot be self-generated. If kids could parent themselves we'd be a very different species.
Yessss amen, I knew something was off. Or kind of dismissive.
This was odd to me. I can understand how NOW she can get here present day. But to ask her to go to the moment and make it her responsibility seemed off.
Teal Swan brought me here, omg this woman is gorgeous!!!
The_Jedi_ Priestess me too
@The_Jedi_Priestess me too 😊
me too!!!! #TealTribe
Me too
I would love to see a teal swan with that much love.
(As i wright this I realise that I would love to love like that)
The work is about seeing and reliving the story that is bothering you from more than your own perspective. Realising that wathever others did, they did not new better and taking responsibility for what you could have done to change it. Step by step moving to the position of coming to terms with it, reprogramming yourself and living in peace with the story that has in reality not much to do with the presence.
Yes! Correct
You know the phrase, "He's The MAN"? Well, Byron Katie is "The WOMAN!" She really knows her stuff when it comes to therapeutic, transformational conversations of healing through self-kindness!
I don't understand how a small child would be able to be there for themselves,loving and understanding themselves and not needing their parent to do that for them. It is simply not realistic to have that happen in your childhood. I can see how a grown person can do that, but not a child.
Yes, but it is as an adult if we keep choosing to be the broken child ❤
You're absolutely right. A lot of what Katie is doing is brainwashing and shaming people and attempting to make them deny reality and accept a hypothetical alternative version. Hypotheses are never real. Life is real. When the woman who said sometimes there IS a real person standing there threatening her life, Katie 's response was glib and callous. It was a response that is dangerous to all victims of domestic violence or abuse experienced in childhood. Katie 's approach is reprehensible. She is harming people with this superficial bullshit.
You are correct. Katie Byron is a narcissist. She's not enlightened.
Anyone suffering from trauma who seeks a compassionate expert on the subject, please check out Gabor Mate'. For anyone interested in higher consciousness and enlightenment, Mooji is another person worth checking out.
My autistic son does this on a regular basis - it is quite simple to grasp if you make it a habit of walking them through it with simple guidance
I think it’s about realizing we’re not a child anymore. We’re adults now. So we can choose to change the meaning we give ourselves as kids and free ourselves.
Thank you, Byron Katie! Even though I took you 9-day intensive several years ago in Ojai, and spent 2 years working with others in our groups, it is interesting what will still come up--an old worn out story, that if not diving deep enough into the emotions of the event can be hijacked by the mind. But what I really loved about this was your story of a stranger, and singing to you, and your mentioning 'it's who and what we are' the love and kindness-- AND SO BEAUTIFUL, "It's an amazing world, it is an incredible world, and love you don't miss it, I love that you don't miss this beautiful world and wake up to reality.... I don't want you to miss it"
Watch Marissa Peer or Eckhart Tolle for a more comprehensive understanding. It all about us, it took years to understand my relationship with my parents
"I need me." Stunning.
Just love the work and Byron Katie!
coldlessons why not do a worksheet on Byron Katie and get back to me when your done. I’d love to have a conversation about it💗
coldlessons So you know something about ‘the work’ but you have never tried it. Your suffering is a choice. Why not do something about it instead of insulting others.
coldlessons I’d love to have a discussion of a worksheet that you do on Byron Katie or anyone because the work has changed my life for the better. I invite you to give it a chance, what have you got to loose. If not me why not call the number on the website and have someone walk you through it for free.
Recently, discovered Katie and her work, yes, she is amazing; I can't get enough of her; so I am here!
coldlessons you may be right and still Byron’s method of inquiry works for me🤔💗🌈🌺
This is a great way to start the new year!
I've lived with resentment all of my life re: "spoiled kids" who have had good enough parents that they don't see what it would be without one at all. I see now that, with no ambiguity, It was actually maybe a bit easier. I could not expect anything. It's an inside job, that's for sure. Love the work
"do I love him on my way out? that's my work" WOW.YES.WOW.
My person has NPD (narcissistic personality disorder). I've chosen to stay with him for the best practice imaginable. He has become kind, caring, respectful, with me! When there is a now-rare glitch in our harmony and I go down the pain-hole, I want to apologize to him for being and acting hurt and angry (If there's a next time, I will apologize. He loves surprises) I had fallen asleep, so to speak, and got in the way of him living his life. This will sound crazy to people unfamiliar with The Work. It's a challenging path but it's mine to love and heal with.
That does sound crazy and much like self gaslighting. It’s your choice to make and only you know how it really is for you now.
I have stayed in relationships for a similar reason, to work on myself and it eventually led to adding on further false masks while I was thinking I was healing them.
A red alarm bell I can see in your comment is you saying that you got in the way of his happiness by falling asleep or that you apologize for “being hurt”.
The problem with that is that we are not islands. It’s a give and take, make sure your own self or parts of your are not being deprived of attention and especially consideration for the sake of maintaining harmony.
I highly recommend you also take a dive into Teal Swan’s work as she’s the biggest proponent of Shadow Work (which is also what Byron Katie does, so it’s right up your alley). Different tools for different moments for different situations but what matters the most is your presence with yourself and that you never never never invalidate your true feelings. Work through them yes, but never put a, so to say, “it’s fine” happy sticker on them and stiffle them.
All the best to you. I personally wouldn’t stay in a relationship with a partner where only I work on myself only I show up and only I take responsibility.
Eye was honored to be able to see ypu several times in utah.
Several years ago.
I am who you believe me to be and I can never be more or less than that, and I hope you love me for your own sake.
i should d work on the add interruption literally every 5 min amazing
Thank you for your service♡
I am worthy of love, mother love,
father love,
loving myself, living myself,
Gods love All,
Love & support of friends.
😰 😪 😍
My "childhood trauma" is that I had a wonderful childhood with loving parents, and friends in my neighborhood, across the street and around the corner... and then it was over. Part of me still wants to have a life like that, instead of all my friends being far away and my family spread across town and busy. But why should I expect adult life to be anything like my childhood? Why do I have expectations of life being a certain way instead of the reality of what it is? Why do I need it to be different?
There is some validity to understanding the other person but we do NEED our mother's acknowledgement as well! That is also important connection. We can forgive our mother's faults but still realize the connection would be healing. Happiness is not the first goal in life! A CHILD will lhave a CHILD's perspective & NEED the mother's attention.
I have no idea what this video is about. I paused it within a few seconds. I came here by accident 😅 sounded very familiar and my heart got full of Joy. I started smiling as if I knew what this is about. I’m practicing surrendering, therefore I will finish the video and write a “review” after. Again. As now I don’t know who the speaker is or what the “The work” is about, but I trust the algorithm 😅
So what did you think of it??
She's an oracle from the future.
The universe brought me here!
After completing the worksheet: What you were believing, those are thoughts you’re still dealing with now. Those are the cause of separation, trauma, your emotions, and the way you treat others. The thoughts you have written down are so powerful that they create your identity.
What you are thinking and believing is the cause of all war in my home and in my life. The thoughts on your paper, they are what you’re traveling with. They will attach to anyone. - Byron Katie
Wow, Katie 🙏💙🙏 this all makes sense !!!! Thank you so much !!!!🙏🙏🎆
Is anyone else's mind fighting them and doesn't want to stay anchored in the feeling?? Writing this comment is a pretty good way for my mind to be distracted I've just noticed ;)
Brain is resisting. Totally normal however you MUST keep doing the work to overcome the mind. If you do NOT overcome your mind you will never, never experience change.
Yes my mind think this is boring and not happy enough for me, so thats why Im reading your comment instead and putting this video in saved.
Totally, also saw that it was 2 hour long and a whole lot of excuses got out of my mind, after really getting into it, I couldn't stop watching until it ended.
Realizes half-way through - Byron Katie is an incredibly good-looking woman!
Parents are works in progress, much like their offspring. Find forgiveness. My mom wasn't in love with me either. I've moved on..
Sadly, four unwanted advertisements came up within the first 21 minutes - in the middle of 'getting in touch'.
I’m sorry...being alone for 14 yrs after all close relatives died & all close friends have moved away...a hug from oneself does NOT FEEL LIKE A HUG & I think sometimes I’m following this, but maybe I’m really not...many people need family...this I don’t understand...I thought we were interdependent on each other...I’m not sure how we can be completely independent...esp when disabled. I just don’t understand all of this. But it is only my 3rd video of Byron Katie.
This in great! So timely🙏
I LOVE THE FOURTH WAY !!!!
This ..... ? No. Working with the girl and her mom was not a fit for this work - however, the tender work of healing through self love and the acceptance that each of us, ourselves, is our own work and path of healing. We can not change others, but we can truly and deeply learn to love & accept ourselves - “that” is “the work”
The four noble truths
The truth of suffering (dukkha)
The truth of the cause of suffering (samudaya)
The truth of the end of suffering (nirhodha)
The truth of the path that frees us from suffering (magga)
You have come a long way: your work
I have to do a whole worksheet on why so many adds 🙄😆
How do you react when there are so many adds?
Literally same
-Can you really know thats its true?
-Who cares whether its true or not. Thats what I feellll!!
"I respect and honor what she is doing,like the cooking,cleaning etc. "Byron says that to the woman about her mother.What if the mother is being abusive somehow?
Hi larcibella
To shift and keep one's consciousness to a higher state... in the moment...
...instead of it sinking and it becoming a sling match
...is the shift.
How about staying stable anyway and saying:
'This is inappropriate.'
and
'I respect and honor what you have been doing for me. Thank you for that.'
The above may not (make that... will not!) work first time. May work over 3 years. Yes, sometimes its very very difficult.
The other option... to sink is no option.
To speak and inspire others to speak from higher consciousness is the to do.
However, if one says
'This is inappropriate.'
See 13:37
Ego will be like: 'I got this one.' And fireworks.
Simply: 'I respect and honor what you have been doing for me. Thank you for that.'
Acknowledgement and Appreciation of only the best aspects shorten the time...
@Beeblebrox One Wish this did not happen to you
...that people are sensitive & respectful to you.
...Here's wishing you speedy recovery
my concentration was broken every four minutes by those incredibly loud and frequent ads!
there is zero advertisement on every video on youtube, you just have to google 10 sec how to do it
@@hereandnow5235 ?? zero advertisement on EVERY video? You mean except this video. Unless I am misunderstanding you. Please expound if you can. Thanks
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@@hereandnow5235 This is new to me! Thank you very much!
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the mother was not emotionally available and this unfortunately is what children go to all the time as they had no empatic parents either, so they suppressed their own feelings and are scared to be confronted with their childs pain(emotional). It doesn't mean she didn't love her daughter, but she was not emotionally available and supportive for her daughter.this one is a bad example for the work, as this young woman NEEDED an available mother who would be more interested in her daughter when she was suffering in stead of keeping her focus on the dinner. I would have felt exactly the same as this young woman. She needs to talk to her mother to tell she has been missing this emotional presence of her. A parent has to pay attention to the emotional needs of the child. If they are cared for they will grow up to be strong adults, other wise they will continue to look for someone else to lean on. This is a very important to feel parents who are available and supportive.
The Work is not about telling people that it is right to be unavailable as a parent. The Work is about healing your own pain en putting things in the right place. I'm sure this young woman will be available to her own children in case she gets them and makes the world a better place because she did this work on her own hurt feelings
Is it true?
For anyone w ocd, you’re loved.
@13 re: statement 1 on the judge your neighbor worksheet.......not what he/she/they said or did then - but the thought i was thinking and believing then - was the cause of my suffering then. (and not a way to attack another human being through my anger)
@14 the ego's work: there's nothing that isn't love. love is another word for understanding. once the ego understands its' true nature, you can do the work on yourself and it's not going to argue. it wants to find a home in itself. until then it's like war. we don't want to quiet the ego. love is the power.
What if I had a receipt of the breakfast... ?