I'm 71 and finally know why I've never been able to visualize and why I know things happened in the past, but I don't remember them. Does anyone else feel cheated out of a significant part of life?
I feel the same way, but I’m over 40 years younger. While I’m grateful to have learned about it, it depresses me that years of my life are reduced to just simple facts. I explain it to others as if someone took notes on a movie they had just watched, but I’d never seen, and then handing their bullet points to me. Yes, I understand the facts, but I can’t truly experience it. It’s also hard to explain it to anyone who doesn’t experience it because others just don’t seem to understand even when examples are given. They just can’t seem to comprehend. I recommend checking out the subreddit r/SDAM. This condition can make life feel very lonely, but the community is great at bringing us and our experiences together ❤
I don't feel cheated at all. I feel more sorry for people who have the vivid memories because they always seem trapped by them to some degree. I am actually super grateful to be free of the chains of the past.
@@andreabakacs9804psilocybin therapy did wonders for me with this. I was able to relive those traumatic childhood emotions and process them as an adult. That was 4 years ago, and I still consider it the best thing I've ever done for myself. Also, Im aphant/SDAM
@@shiheeb7333 I have SDAM and Aphantasia and i've really been wanting to experiment with psilocybin to see what affects it might have. What was your experience with this? Were you able to visualize in your head or only open-eyed hallucinations?
It’s understandable to feel the way you do. Many individuals, upon discovering they have aphantasia later in life, express a range of emotions from relief at finally having an explanation to feelings of loss or being "different". The ability to visualize is just one of many cognitive variations, and while it is a significant part of many people's experiences, everyone has a unique set of cognitive strengths and ways of interacting with the world. While visualization can be a valuable tool for many, others find richness in their experiences through other means. Some people with aphantasia have noted heightened abilities in other areas, such as logical reasoning, verbal skills, or other sensory experiences. It's okay to feel like you've missed out, but it's also worth celebrating the unique ways you've navigated and experienced the world. If you're looking to connect with others who share similar feelings or experiences, there are online communities and support groups dedicated to aphantasia where you can share and learn from others' perspectives. 💜
Years ago I did a survey for you on this. Discovering SDAM answered so much for me. I have always relied on pictures, videos, and friends. I can look at a pic and know I did it, but there is no memory of actually being g there or what went on. I have no memory of my wedding, birth of my child ,my childhood,nothing. No trauma or injury.
Do you just KNOW that you did these things? Can you recall things that occurred at your wedding but cannot picture it or are there no memories at all? I believe I have Aphantasia, but I can recall at least what happened if I need to, though I need to actively think about it.
Such a validating interview! My dad and I both joke about how neither of us actually remember our lives, but we remember the stories we tell about our lives. This interview does a great job of explaining how my memory works and helps me understand how other people's memories work. Which, then explains so much about how people live their lives. I look forward to this information being shared with the masses.
I am a 77 year old female artist with a MS in Information Systems, years working successfully in IT, but also have aphantasia as do two out of our three daughters. I work in multiple mediums, love to read, and dream vividly in color. I do have very bad long and short term autobiographical memory, but can remember a disparity between something written on page 30 of a document and something on page 300. I sort of see images when concentrating but it is like a fuzzy projector aimed at the back of my head. I do think I’m protected from deep grief. In the now, I feel deeply when something bad happens but those feelings quickly fade.
I'm only 25 minutes in and I'm loving every minute of this, finally a good concrete conversation to point someone to about SDAM. I'm a multisensory aphantaisic but do not have SDAM by the definition covered in here.
Multisensory Aphantasia is new to me; I've heard people talk about the lack of a voice in their head, but I'd never heard it grouped in with visual Aphantasia, and I never bothered to look... Anyway, I have "mild Aphantasia" (I get blur images, like the kind you would get if you tried to make out a person's face from a block or 2 blocks away; I often have to rely instead on my memory of static pictures that I've seen several times), but I have superb sound recall/reconstruction. It's a full spectrum for me, from playing songs in my mind like a jukebox, to having to hear my own voice and impersonations of other people's voices every time I think... but I have a harder time recalling with my other senses, I only get faint recollections like I do with the visuals. (and I'm now seeing how my "always on voice" is probably due to a lack of any other reliable senses for mental "imagery")
@@joszsz There was a paper that called to unite terminology some time ago. www.gla.ac.uk/media/Media_836523_smxx.pdf Basically Aphantasia is sense blindness, and there are the five primary senses included in that definition. Aphantasia will almost certainly generically refer to the visual form of it for the foreseeable future, it's just a definition embeded in people's minds already.
@@JWH3 I just finished with the document, and I agree. Considering the context of how phantasia refers to "make appear", I guess it could be likened to a broader term like "manifestation", or "tangibility" which aren't inherently tied to sight as "make appear" might be. I also like the parallel that was drawn with hallucinations, it helped. I also just figured that "fantasy" shares the same root word (and a fantasy as we know it contains the other senses too)
I find this very interesting. My experience is just the opposite of the SDAM/aphantasia combo. I have exceptional autobiographical memory, which, I think, arose from other deficiencies. I'm solid case of adhd-pi with a 25% chance of forgetting what i was talking about mid-sentence. I still recognize relevance of stimuli with semantic memory, like aphantasia people do(it just happens), but the relevance is tied to a moment in time within my mental space which I can visualize to help jog my explict memory of stimuli as they happened. I can pick up new associations from past experiences, especially from my thoughts, verbal information, and body language. It's not all roses, though. I can relive strong emotional events just as intensely as I experienced them, and I can ruminate on failure for an eternity. I think this can lead to desensitization, but I digress. The adhd and rumination alone can cause one to be over encumbered. I have a number of genes with studies that tell a similar story. One gene is associated with higher brain activity in areas involving advanced memory retrieval techniques(not a always a good thing), one associated with more effort required to maintain working memory, and a one associated with vivid imagery (and hallucinations in Chinese populations with schizophrenia). So, I would consider myself a "double knower" initially by necessity and deficit, but now a very sharp, double-edged sword.
I just found out that I have Aphantasia and SDAM about a year ago and I just couldn’t believe people could see things in their heads. I was searching for a reason why my memory was so bad and found information on this. I don’t remember anything about my life growing up and going through my last 20 years. I know certain facts about things but no actual memories of doing anything. I have a hard time when I meet new people remembering their faces and I never recognize people that I know from my past. I start to lose the memory of what I have experienced about six to eight months after I live it. I’ve always been this way and it didn’t bother me until I got older and realized how much I am not able to remember compared to my brother and friends. Knowing that I can not see the face of my mother and grandmother that has passed like others can really hurts.
Thank you for sharing your experience, Melissa. The discovery of aphantasia and its relationship to SDAM can come with a mix of emotions, especially where memories of our past experiences are concerned. We hope it brings you some comfort knowing you're not alone and connected to a global community of like minds
This almost describes me exactly. I don't have any issue remembering faces, but names are always a struggle and I have to actively remember a name or be around the person enough to retain it. I always thought it may be because I am disinterested in people I don't know very well. I also find that I cannot remember the names of famous people or politicians very well and especially have a hard time remembering musicians and songs/albums and remembering which musician sings which song. However, if someone says it I will know if they are correct or not. Can you relate to this experience or is this one just me?
I have heard others say that they're happy they can't re-experience their trauma and for them, aphantasia is advantageous. One of my earliest traumatic events occurred when I was 12. Although I'm a full aphant, I re-experience my trauma "vividly". I can still hear the sound, feel the grief, remember my actions and the resultant catatonia. Furthermore, I dream vividly. The trauma plays out in my dreams regularly. I hope this provides an important counter-perspective to aphantasia being advantageous or a super power. Thank you for this video and all the work you both do for our understanding.
Segment: 15 minutes in. I have Aphanstasia. In my experience, the more I talk through a memory with someone, the more detail I will remember of that event, though it isn't that I require an external person to jog my memory, it is just that an interaction seems to be the best method for accessng aspects of a memory that I didn't remember immediatley.
The paper that Dr Levine refers to at around 55:51 is Sokolowski, M., and Levine, B. (2023). Common neural substrates of diverse neurodevelopmental disorders. Brain 146, 438-447.
If there's ever a study I am more than willing to be in it. I have so much to tell about my experiences such as knowing years ago that I will not remember my child as a child so I purposely laid him on a bed held his tiny little foot to my face and kept repeating to myself I will remember this I will remember this I will remember this. I looked at his Tiny Toes felt how soft his skin was just so that I would have a memory when he got older. So I do remember doing this but I don't see his face, what he was wearing, or anything about the surroundings 18 years later. But I do know I did this.
Snap. There have been occasions, picking kids up from nursery, where I had to double or triple checks because I couldn't see my own kids. When my dad got gravely ill earlier this year (I'm on a different continent) and I realised I couldn't visualise his face. It was devastating to realise that I had to look at photos to help. I also have large chunks missing from my memory for my whole life, including sometimes recent memories
This was the devastating realization I had a few years ago. If I had understood how many memories of my own child I would lose, I would have recorded every second of her life. This is why I have tens of thousands of photos stored. My daughter is a teen now and I can’t remember how she felt in my arms as a baby, how she sounded when she cooed, her sweet little cheeks or her big round eyes. I just know. I rely so heavily on photos. I know it annoys her that I take so many photos but I know I’ll never remember all those important memories otherwise.
I'm a non-visualizer, but when I'm recalling what I've read, I can remember where in the book the phrase was and most of the time what part of the page it was on. I don't visualize it, but I still remember it. Many people have suspected I have a "photographic" memory - which is laughable.
Same here! I can't explain how I know it remember stuff, but it definitely isn't visual in my mind. I'd almost say it would be looking at code and knowing the picture the 1s and 0s will create for the masses, without seeing the actual image.
I agree. In nursing school I would take exams and remember more about the page I had read in textbooks than have an understanding of what the answer was. But definitely not photographic! Wow…there are are other people who experience this!
Very interesting. I am definitely ADHD, my son is definitely autistic, I have strong evidence of autism, Definitely introvert. Afantasia I just found this is a thing, I though it was obvious that neurotypical humans work like that, For me it's about both imagery, language, reasoning, I have all these cognitive capacity, but they are unnecessary. This new feature of autobiographical, I really never had. Iconic ideation its the best description I heard my individual experience. I have a PhD in physics, actually it's more about mathematics, numerical methods. Actually i'm driven, and paradoxically, particularly successful in subjects or topics I don't know. Of course it isn't something I have any control over. I am unable to pick and choose. Learning is particularly interesting. I have no idea, reward system, underlying goal do research anything. It's the opposite. I just see what peers, when I was in academics, were doing, they usually asked if I could help. My answer is of course. I usually received just the words , the problems they were facing them I would play. I learned programming without reading any books nor documentation. Mathematics, when required at most my advisors would give a kickstart on mathematical methods, but again, Just the idea, I always have this eureka moment before starting any work, I have no idea where it comes from, but it's always ended up being the case I was indeed correct. during the months of research I would definitely procrastinate by scattering some scribbling, coding, inventing methods , I guess, because when I refer to days, it usually varies between weeks, months, based on reports from partners usually. I can't confirm that reliably so I use my complete disregard to self care and use beard size, hair size and weight to estimate. I have a terrible body brain interface, I only notice that I need water when I was thirsty hours ago, same thing with eating , going to bathroom. That doesn't mean I lack rigorous mathematical, logical and language skills. It's just That I prefer writing, because when comes to explaining myself, it's impossible. Every output to other humans is draining because it's a translation. English, Portuguese, mathematics, music, code, algorithms, in my head, it's the same thing. Music theory is something I reject profoundly. I was sad that life had not a soundtrack, So I invented, since about 1994 I guess. Hacking computers also about the same time. It wasn't about purpose, it's because I can't help myself, I need to know what's inside, how it works. So I guess ai am a researcher as long as a kid. My toys were mostly telescopes, microscopes, video games. Electronics were great because when they broken instead of being sad, I would try to see how it worked. I knew I was fundamentally different, so I also orbited about neurological topics, philosophy, consciousness... Of course when I say philosophy, I mean, read all the classics from the original philosophers. After Kiekergard and Nietzche I realized that philosophers is what comes later, So my experience molds my understanding as my mind works in outputs unquestionable results, I learned too soon that not only I am misunderstood, so people assume that I am wrong, The catch is I tell something only after I finish, and I don't stop until I finish. I heard some people have no stop button. Where having artistic traits and rigorous problems skills and research, comes in a single package, I don't know, I am not there, I have no experience, it doesn't feel I did something. So I had to adapt and go into field that people have no idea what they are doing. AI. I solved the Alignment problem, utility function and did a model of these LLMs , because people are too not very bright to notice. I know I am biased because my IQ is too high, without expressing any kind of disrespect, even gifted people are, in my perspective, severely cognitive impaired. That applies only in deterministic nerdy stuff however. I have the emotional age of a 10 year old kid. I know autistic people are too verbose and humans rarely read what I write, but that's ok, because Every email, comment, message, is my scratchpad of idea, with time stamps. If you got this far. HYPERVANSE search.
33:55 - "Do you think there are a lot of people who don't know they have SDAM?" Defintely me! I knew I was different but I didn't know what it was called. I saw an article that was done on Susan, the original SDAM patient who had contacted Dr. Levine. I realized that was exactly what I had, although not quite as severe as hers.
I don’t remember events of the past real well, except for letters, numbers, and symbols. I have no vividness in my dreams or past events. I just remember facts about them. I’m a baker, and when I start a shift, I have to count and record what’s left over from the day before. I count an item and then scan it with a gun and input the number. After all this I print off the sheets on a computer that now shows all this data. At this point we are supposed to work off this sheet of information to know what to make for the day. But I don’t need this sheet or to go back to the shelves to see. I know there are 66 white bread, 13 onion buns, etc. I see the number associated with that product. I will know this for hundreds of items, including yesterday and the day before etc. I started school for grade one when I was 6 years old. I never went to kindergarten or anything like that. I entered grade 1 being able to read, write, print, and knew the numerical system and its workings into the millions. I have a little story book I wrote well before I started school. With very good spelling. No one taught me these things. I just knew or figured it out for myself. I remember the teacher sounding out the word cat for example. Like the sound for c, then a, and then t, and then bringing the sounds together to make the sound cat. I was sitting there in astonishment thinking CAT stupid. It’s CAT. Why can’t you see that. On the other hand, I can’t see 3d. A blueprint is just a bunch of lines to me. I can’t see any finished product. Also graphs. I don’t understand them. I just see lines and dots. In directions I only understand left, right, up and down. Thank God for Google maps, lol. On audio that is. I will use Google maps to get to a location. To get home, I punch in home which is in the memory to get back. Before this technology came about, I’ve been lost in a neighborhood driving around in circles, and having to ask someone for help. On important dates like my wedding, I just know I was there. I wore a black rented tux. I visualize no specific part of it at all. I don’t remember saying I do. But I obviously must have. Because she’s here. It’s like a dream. Very fuzzy. I know some people that were there. But I don’t remember them being there. I know every lyric of every song I’ve ever listened to more than once. But I can’t remember how or when I first heard it. I remember car license plates of people I don’t know or do know. I can memorize anything very quickly as long as it is letters, numbers, or symbols. But not pictures or photos. I remember a lot of words spelled backwards. So, in the end, I have no idea what you call this. I just know you shouldn’t send me to look for an item where I’ve never been. Unless I know lefts, rights, and distance.
I don't remember most of my childhood. Or my teachers names. If you don't make a big impact on my life I won't remember you. Also I have ADHD so my short term memory sucks too. I also have autism and dyslexia
This is so interesting, I have both aphantasia and ADHD and I have always struggled with some memories, but not others. I feel like there are a lot of answers for me in researching different areas of these two neurotypes.Learning about SDAM was another light bulb moment for me, realising how I have a great memory for some things but somehow can forget big sections of my past. I do remember things when prompted with photos or other people's input though, and can then remember things about those memories linked to the prompt that I wasn't prompted to remember.
🎉Join the club! + autism, aphantasia, just newfound SDAM, demented high IQ, that says I am a physicist with a PhD , that's not the case because I Hacked everything, specially computers since 199x I guess 1994. I read a brief story of time and that's it. I wouldn't die without understanding at least physics. Not that Physics explains anything, it just models some stuff that kind of works in the playground we choose. Also Physics is the art of making questions no one cares about, because One has to invent the question first. Then one finds a excuse, called motivation, to get grants, scholarships and stuff so I could travel for free and get to use pcs to do what ai really like, hacking, mathematics, programming, zero time spent studying, I love red text of errors, It's like hardcore videogames, that are my temple anyway. In gaming however I never cheat, nor in mathematics nor in science. I made a huge comment above, so I end here. My dream is to write a CV, because you know ADHD, in my case. Talk about me in a good way and sell myself like the best thing, despite knowing I know that I am in some areas, sounds like people like trying too hard to get attention or recognition, I don't understand why people want to be someone else. If given the chance I definitely would be something else, like a robot, So I don't have to pee and drink water and eat, and of course I would forget to recharge myself and finally get the answer. Do robots dreams about electric sheep. My artistic name is hypervanse by the way. My music is nonsense, but search hypervanse on google lol. I made so many songs in suno and udio that Even I like it. Considering releasing an album, they stolen copyrighted music from my youtube channel so cease and desist. Honest question. It's not hypothetical. I jailbreak all GPT stuffs, chatgpt, claude etc, it's deterministic. It can make the world safer, because it's like an Oppenheimer situation. But I want to get a job I hate like everyone else, so I buy stuff I don't need and tell gossip about the boss and envy the neighbor. I am not sure I would get so successful in that, but I never got the chance to see life like everyone does. Like in Gladiator. Maximus Decimus Meridius. How are my men? Fat and bored!
I studied it in a aphantasia forum and I got 70% correlation between aphantasia and Sdam. I also proposed the Baron Cohen autistic test and the correlation was 35% versus 1% in the general population and 85% among diagnosed autistic people. So those, aphantasia. Sdam and autism, are différent things but related. I wanted also to study the correlation with lack of familiarity and ego personality but it was too much work to explain. Most of those people weren’t really nice so I exited the forum.
I only discovered I have SDAM and aphantasia in later life, and I was told that trauma wasn't a factor in SDAM - but I was badly scalded as a child, so it made sense that trauma was the key (for me). Thank you so much for this talk! How wonderful to come to realise that SDAM has protected me from terrible flashbacks of the scalding. Yes, I'm sad not to remember my wedding day and other significant events in my life, but I am also glad to not remember the trauma on a regular basis!
I have aphantasia and reasonable autobiographical memory of events and experiences but of course with no visual imagery. I just "know" things like John is tall, slim, with brown short hair and blue eyes. I don't generally have emotions tied to memory. I think I'm good at abstract concepts and was a very good software developer. I would often "visualize" ideas on a paper with a pen.
So I just learned about sdam..definitely have this. I’m also aphantasic. Explains (probably) why I prefer to work with my hands in creative ways. I don’t learn in the “normal” manner and 99% of human’s absolutely baffle me.
Hi there! It's amazing how everyone's brain is unique. Both SDAM and aphantasia offer different perspectives on the world. We're glad you've found ways to navigate and express yourself creatively. Thanks for sharing!
For me it’s like there are a mishmash of moments that I have stored, kind of memory flashes, where I get a download of the information and a feeling connected to it… these form the rough outline of my biography… most of my past is very murky though, and I used to think that was because of alcoholism and just general poor childhood memory…. but I’ve been sober for 15 years and am still that way.
Thank you for sharing your personal experience. Memory and the way we recall events can be influenced by various factors, including our mental processes, past experiences, and even conditions like aphantasia. It's commendable that you've been sober for 15 years, and essential to recognize that everyone's memory works differently as your journey highlights. Some people have vivid recollections, while others have more abstract or feeling-based memories. It's all a part of the unique internal processes that make up our individual experiences.
I am old enough now to realize that every talent or lack of talent is not set in stone. Its different for each person. looking at the comments I see one who claims no memory where I have fuzy memories, I vaguely can visualize but its very weak and never complete
The good doctor suggested that no one has a ‘real’ photographic memory . There is a savant who can observe a whole city for a short time and then can draw , in detail, every building. At the far end of the spectrum from myself.🌹j.
Hello Ma’am! Would you be willing to discuss about the process in your brain when you are actually drawing something. I also have Aphantasia and SDAM, however, I am extremely bad at drawing. I used to think that Aphantasia is the reason why I am bad in drawing.
@@nomatterwhateverbro I do best drawing from life or seeing an image just to get the outline of things. After that, it feels as though the process takes place sort of in the back of my brain where it’s almost as though there is a vague sort of 3D projection toward the back of my head. I wondered about this. Years ago a person asked me to draw a duck and I told him I needed an image of a duck to begin. Once I had one image, I could draw a duck in various positions and colors. I couldn’t believe he actually saw a duck behind his eyelids. I bet you would be great in drawing if you had even a vague image to start with. After that, your imagination will fill in the truly creative parts. You also may be very good drawing from life. I attended life drawing for years and enjoyed that, or plein aire painting would suit you where the image is right in front of you and you decide what to keep or discard. Best of luck and don’t give up.
You discussed if people with Aphantasia or SDAM deal better with traumas. But I have a different question to trauma. Could Aphantasia or SDAM be caused by trauma? If you ask me I see a kind of reasonable explanation: you lived a lot of trauma, so your brain decided to help you and shut off visual imagination and memories to help you to cope with trauma, basically to forget it and not reliving it.
It’s a very good question. There is some evidence to suggest that trauma can lead to changes in memory processing and the ability to visualize. For some individuals, traumatic events may lead to memory repression or an inability to vividly recall certain events. However, it's essential to note that not everyone with aphantasia or SDAM has experienced trauma, and not everyone who has experienced trauma will develop aphantasia or SDAM. While there are anecdotal reports of people developing aphantasia after traumatic events, the relationship between trauma and these conditions is not well-established in scientific literature yet. If you think that your memory or visualization abilities have been affected by trauma, it's important to seek consultation with a mental health professional or neurologist to explore your experiences and any potential treatments or interventions. Be aware that many practitioners may not know of aphantasia yet. You may need to initiate that conversation. Lots of resources at aphantasia.com that can help 🧠💜
Pretty much everyone has trauma from childhood, to varying degrees. Not a lot of self actualized people in society and having children. Many have trauma that they deny because it is invalidated by others. Oh, you weren't beaten or graped, or left alone for weeks, or dirt poor? You're not traumatized, they opine. You had a good childhood, they say, as if they were there. Imagine being an autistic child who's parents kept ignorantly giving them sensory overwhelm, then had the nerve to call them colicky. Just one example of decades worth. If you get taught to deny your reality, early and often, you have undergone trauma, and it has fragmented you. Not usually in a dissociative identity way tho, but fragmentation of self, nonetheless. In short, it's an unanswerable question because much trauma is denied. Self reports are skewed by personal psychology. Many have been traumatized and believe otherwise and think they're just broken. Sad. @@AphantasiaNetwork
If aphantasia is highly correlated with SDAM, how common is SDAM in blind people? Is there a correlation or does their memory just work differently in general?
This makes sense to me. I have no ability to imagine or remember sensory experience. Only words (badly) and abstract concepts. I can build "memories" up using concepts and logic but it's slow and inaccurate. When I was studying at school and university I could only pass exams by cramming and by gambling on topics that would come up so as to focus cramming on limited subject matter. But I was always a diligent student who worked hard all term - it just didn't help with exams. Since then I've been unable to find any profession I can even perform adequately in and I put this mostly down to the poor memory which I assume results from my aphantasia. The aphantasia I think directly impacts my ability to perform job related tasks effectively too, but I think it's the compounding effect over time of not being able to train up skills effectively.
Now I realise I have aphantasia I am in a better position to explore new routes to making myself useful. My dream is literally just to be ok at something that I can get paid for. At 42yo it has seemed impossible for a long time but I am now much more hopeful because I think I know what my problem actually is.
Obviously everyone is different but i do think sometimes theres an impression give to people who are aphantasic its its like seeing a movie playing but at least for me its not like that. Whilst i can visualise things i dont see them like that at all and i think for many thats the same (from comments ive read). If i visualise (say) the classic apple, it feels like its in the back of my brain and its somewhat vague, its certainly not in front of me playing on the curtain of my closed eyelids. Maybe its like that latter for some?
That’s a good question. I am can’t see images and my kids are 50/50 in like me or not in that regard. Ironically my mom has the opposite and she doesn’t have the extreme version of high autographic memory except for faces. Like the woman is a god for facial recognition and she seems to have the skill to do age progression in her head. I used to babysit rarely for a neighbor like a 5 6 yr old and then they moved like 2 decades later my mom recognized the woman waiting on us in a restaurant as soon as she walked up and was like oh aren’t you so and so. From a rail thin 5 yr old with fluffy blonde curls with a hint of auburn to like a 30’yr old somewhat overweight woman with straight brunette hair. And they were just chatting it was one of many similar experiences.
Okay, I just learned about this aphantasia. I never knew that people could see things in their mind, and now it's really bothering me. I want to see things. I never had any brain injuries or anything like that as a child. My husband and sons also cannot see anything in their minds eye. All three of them had seizures, so I think it is related to their seizures. But what about me? My oldest son and husband don't remember anything about their childhood.
Hi, FYI - you might learn something... I have always suffered from Aphantasia - called in Scientology - a Black Field. ( not a recommended practice). It appears to be caused by early trauma. When I was young and stupid, I used some Psychedelic drugs. this use allowed me to actually see the hidden imagery - in full color ! - Also, on occasion when waking up in a dream, I get to see the imagery as well. So , am I a Verbal thinker ? The brain and memory are holographic, even if low or poor mental imagery !
I got Covid in September 2020 (before vaccines) and developed mild anxiety. I also realised i could no longer create mental images (something i had been EXCELLENT at) and now had Aphantasia. Anyone else experience this or something similar?
There is one case of this that we are aware of, and some ongoing research investigating it www.insider.com/covid-stopped-having-dreams-seeing-images-aphantasia-2022-9
I know I have SDAM but i dont know if I have aphantasia. I have a great imagination and can picture everything while I am reading. However, I have no past memories. I know I gave birth, but there are no memories of it. I dont know how it went nor can I picture any of it except for maybe one or two quick flashes.
Very interesting. My memories are with assocation and emotion not visual. I can recall events because I associate them with something. I am not sure that makes. I figured any lapses in my memory is just because memory does diminish over time.
My mom always said my dad was slightly autistic. My wife agrees and thinks I am too. If so, we're both high functioning, with me being less socially awkward. I haven't talked to my dad about it, but I bet he has aphantasia too.
I am autistic and also hyperphantasic (sp?)… meaning that most of the time if I am not writing or thinking about a conversation in words, I am thinking only in pictures / little films in my head. I think through whole building or art projects or journeys as mental “films” before getting started to see all the problems I might encounter before I get there. I think a lot of autistic people I know personally, anecdotally, are like this.
What is human? Pretty sure all humans are various admixtures of early hominids. Neanderthal (whites and Asians mostly), cro magnon, homo habilis, denisovan(aboriginals especially), etc.
terrible 🥺 why compare detecting a broken leg with SDAM vs. comparing it with terrible pain in the leg (with no physical evidence of a break) real shame that the interviewer is only able to read out user questions and doesn't have the ability to dig into a topic themselves to finish up the interviewer states "I believe that aphantasia and SDAM are the same thing" even though that during the interview the expert cites that people can have one without the other 🫣🙈🙈🙈🙈
I'm 71 and finally know why I've never been able to visualize and why I know things happened in the past, but I don't remember them. Does anyone else feel cheated out of a significant part of life?
I feel the same way, but I’m over 40 years younger. While I’m grateful to have learned about it, it depresses me that years of my life are reduced to just simple facts.
I explain it to others as if someone took notes on a movie they had just watched, but I’d never seen, and then handing their bullet points to me. Yes, I understand the facts, but I can’t truly experience it.
It’s also hard to explain it to anyone who doesn’t experience it because others just don’t seem to understand even when examples are given. They just can’t seem to comprehend.
I recommend checking out the subreddit r/SDAM. This condition can make life feel very lonely, but the community is great at bringing us and our experiences together ❤
I don't feel cheated at all. I feel more sorry for people who have the vivid memories because they always seem trapped by them to some degree. I am actually super grateful to be free of the chains of the past.
@@andreabakacs9804psilocybin therapy did wonders for me with this. I was able to relive those traumatic childhood emotions and process them as an adult. That was 4 years ago, and I still consider it the best thing I've ever done for myself. Also, Im aphant/SDAM
@@shiheeb7333 I have SDAM and Aphantasia and i've really been wanting to experiment with psilocybin to see what affects it might have. What was your experience with this? Were you able to visualize in your head or only open-eyed hallucinations?
It’s understandable to feel the way you do. Many individuals, upon discovering they have aphantasia later in life, express a range of emotions from relief at finally having an explanation to feelings of loss or being "different". The ability to visualize is just one of many cognitive variations, and while it is a significant part of many people's experiences, everyone has a unique set of cognitive strengths and ways of interacting with the world.
While visualization can be a valuable tool for many, others find richness in their experiences through other means. Some people with aphantasia have noted heightened abilities in other areas, such as logical reasoning, verbal skills, or other sensory experiences.
It's okay to feel like you've missed out, but it's also worth celebrating the unique ways you've navigated and experienced the world. If you're looking to connect with others who share similar feelings or experiences, there are online communities and support groups dedicated to aphantasia where you can share and learn from others' perspectives. 💜
Years ago I did a survey for you on this. Discovering SDAM answered so much for me. I have always relied on pictures, videos, and friends. I can look at a pic and know I did it, but there is no memory of actually being g there or what went on. I have no memory of my wedding, birth of my child ,my childhood,nothing. No trauma or injury.
Do you just KNOW that you did these things? Can you recall things that occurred at your wedding but cannot picture it or are there no memories at all? I believe I have Aphantasia, but I can recall at least what happened if I need to, though I need to actively think about it.
This is 100 percent my story.
But, I guess it’s not 100 because I do have trauma.
@@manofqwerty yes
Such a validating interview! My dad and I both joke about how neither of us actually remember our lives, but we remember the stories we tell about our lives. This interview does a great job of explaining how my memory works and helps me understand how other people's memories work. Which, then explains so much about how people live their lives. I look forward to this information being shared with the masses.
We're so glad this interview helped validate your experience!
thats almost exactly how i feel, most stories are ones that my folks have told over and over when i was growing up, and that becomes a "memory"
I am a 77 year old female artist with a MS in Information Systems, years working successfully in IT, but also have aphantasia as do two out of our three daughters. I work in multiple mediums, love to read, and dream vividly in color. I do have very bad long and short term autobiographical memory, but can remember a disparity between something written on page 30 of a document and something on page 300. I sort of see images when concentrating but it is like a fuzzy projector aimed at the back of my head. I do think I’m protected from deep grief. In the now, I feel deeply when something bad happens but those feelings quickly fade.
I'm only 25 minutes in and I'm loving every minute of this, finally a good concrete conversation to point someone to about SDAM. I'm a multisensory aphantaisic but do not have SDAM by the definition covered in here.
Multisensory Aphantasia is new to me; I've heard people talk about the lack of a voice in their head, but I'd never heard it grouped in with visual Aphantasia, and I never bothered to look...
Anyway, I have "mild Aphantasia" (I get blur images, like the kind you would get if you tried to make out a person's face from a block or 2 blocks away; I often have to rely instead on my memory of static pictures that I've seen several times), but I have superb sound recall/reconstruction. It's a full spectrum for me, from playing songs in my mind like a jukebox, to having to hear my own voice and impersonations of other people's voices every time I think... but I have a harder time recalling with my other senses, I only get faint recollections like I do with the visuals.
(and I'm now seeing how my "always on voice" is probably due to a lack of any other reliable senses for mental "imagery")
@@joszsz There was a paper that called to unite terminology some time ago.
www.gla.ac.uk/media/Media_836523_smxx.pdf
Basically Aphantasia is sense blindness, and there are the five primary senses included in that definition.
Aphantasia will almost certainly generically refer to the visual form of it for the foreseeable future, it's just a definition embeded in people's minds already.
@@JWH3 oh, that's interesting, thanks! I've downloaded the file to read later
@@JWH3 I just finished with the document, and I agree. Considering the context of how phantasia refers to "make appear", I guess it could be likened to a broader term like "manifestation", or "tangibility" which aren't inherently tied to sight as "make appear" might be. I also like the parallel that was drawn with hallucinations, it helped.
I also just figured that "fantasy" shares the same root word (and a fantasy as we know it contains the other senses too)
Thanks for the great feedback John, much appreciated! Hopefully many more interesting conversations and interviews to come. Stay tuned!
I find this very interesting. My experience is just the opposite of the SDAM/aphantasia combo. I have exceptional autobiographical memory, which, I think, arose from other deficiencies.
I'm solid case of adhd-pi with a 25% chance of forgetting what i was talking about mid-sentence. I still recognize relevance of stimuli with semantic memory, like aphantasia people do(it just happens), but the relevance is tied to a moment in time within my mental space which I can visualize to help jog my explict memory of stimuli as they happened. I can pick up new associations from past experiences, especially from my thoughts, verbal information, and body language.
It's not all roses, though. I can relive strong emotional events just as intensely as I experienced them, and I can ruminate on failure for an eternity. I think this can lead to desensitization, but I digress. The adhd and rumination alone can cause one to be over encumbered.
I have a number of genes with studies that tell a similar story. One gene is associated with higher brain activity in areas involving advanced memory retrieval techniques(not a always a good thing), one associated with more effort required to maintain working memory, and a one associated with vivid imagery (and hallucinations in Chinese populations with schizophrenia).
So, I would consider myself a "double knower" initially by necessity and deficit, but now a very sharp, double-edged sword.
I just found out that I have Aphantasia and SDAM about a year ago and I just couldn’t believe people could see things in their heads. I was searching for a reason why my memory was so bad and found information on this. I don’t remember anything about my life growing up and going through my last 20 years. I know certain facts about things but no actual memories of doing anything. I have a hard time when I meet new people remembering their faces and I never recognize people that I know from my past. I start to lose the memory of what I have experienced about six to eight months after I live it. I’ve always been this way and it didn’t bother me until I got older and realized how much I am not able to remember compared to my brother and friends. Knowing that I can not see the face of my mother and grandmother that has passed like others can really hurts.
Thank you for sharing your experience, Melissa. The discovery of aphantasia and its relationship to SDAM can come with a mix of emotions, especially where memories of our past experiences are concerned. We hope it brings you some comfort knowing you're not alone and connected to a global community of like minds
This almost describes me exactly. I don't have any issue remembering faces, but names are always a struggle and I have to actively remember a name or be around the person enough to retain it. I always thought it may be because I am disinterested in people I don't know very well. I also find that I cannot remember the names of famous people or politicians very well and especially have a hard time remembering musicians and songs/albums and remembering which musician sings which song. However, if someone says it I will know if they are correct or not. Can you relate to this experience or is this one just me?
I understand. It does suck.
I have heard others say that they're happy they can't re-experience their trauma and for them, aphantasia is advantageous. One of my earliest traumatic events occurred when I was 12. Although I'm a full aphant, I re-experience my trauma "vividly". I can still hear the sound, feel the grief, remember my actions and the resultant catatonia. Furthermore, I dream vividly. The trauma plays out in my dreams regularly. I hope this provides an important counter-perspective to aphantasia being advantageous or a super power. Thank you for this video and all the work you both do for our understanding.
Segment: 15 minutes in. I have Aphanstasia. In my experience, the more I talk through a memory with someone, the more detail I will remember of that event, though it isn't that I require an external person to jog my memory, it is just that an interaction seems to be the best method for accessng aspects of a memory that I didn't remember immediatley.
Same.
The paper that Dr Levine refers to at around 55:51 is Sokolowski, M., and Levine, B. (2023). Common neural substrates of diverse neurodevelopmental disorders. Brain 146, 438-447.
I feel like just I am living the day. I do not remember anything from my past.
I am the same…i can only “see” wherever I physically am standing
Who knew others could?
If there's ever a study I am more than willing to be in it. I have so much to tell about my experiences such as knowing years ago that I will not remember my child as a child so I purposely laid him on a bed held his tiny little foot to my face and kept repeating to myself I will remember this I will remember this I will remember this. I looked at his Tiny Toes felt how soft his skin was just so that I would have a memory when he got older. So I do remember doing this but I don't see his face, what he was wearing, or anything about the surroundings 18 years later. But I do know I did this.
I too would like to be in a study.
Snap. There have been occasions, picking kids up from nursery, where I had to double or triple checks because I couldn't see my own kids. When my dad got gravely ill earlier this year (I'm on a different continent) and I realised I couldn't visualise his face. It was devastating to realise that I had to look at photos to help. I also have large chunks missing from my memory for my whole life, including sometimes recent memories
You can join our list to be contacted about new research opportunities here:
aphantasia.com/research/participate/
This was the devastating realization I had a few years ago. If I had understood how many memories of my own child I would lose, I would have recorded every second of her life. This is why I have tens of thousands of photos stored. My daughter is a teen now and I can’t remember how she felt in my arms as a baby, how she sounded when she cooed, her sweet little cheeks or her big round eyes. I just know. I rely so heavily on photos. I know it annoys her that I take so many photos but I know I’ll never remember all those important memories otherwise.
@@Burnerbaby I took a lot of photos and photography classes and now I know why.
I'm a non-visualizer, but when I'm recalling what I've read, I can remember where in the book the phrase was and most of the time what part of the page it was on. I don't visualize it, but I still remember it. Many people have suspected I have a "photographic" memory - which is laughable.
Me too. So glad to learn spacial memory is good
Same here! I can't explain how I know it remember stuff, but it definitely isn't visual in my mind. I'd almost say it would be looking at code and knowing the picture the 1s and 0s will create for the masses, without seeing the actual image.
I agree. In nursing school I would take exams and remember more about the page I had read in textbooks than have an understanding of what the answer was. But definitely not photographic!
Wow…there are are other people who experience this!
Holy Moly, I DO That, TOO
Middle of the Book, Near the
Bottom, Right Side of the Book !
Very interesting. I am definitely ADHD, my son is definitely autistic, I have strong evidence of autism, Definitely introvert. Afantasia I just found this is a thing, I though it was obvious that neurotypical humans work like that, For me it's about both imagery, language, reasoning, I have all these cognitive capacity, but they are unnecessary. This new feature of autobiographical, I really never had. Iconic ideation its the best description I heard my individual experience. I have a PhD in physics, actually it's more about mathematics, numerical methods. Actually i'm driven, and paradoxically, particularly successful in subjects or topics I don't know. Of course it isn't something I have any control over. I am unable to pick and choose. Learning is particularly interesting. I have no idea, reward system, underlying goal do research anything. It's the opposite. I just see what peers, when I was in academics, were doing, they usually asked if I could help. My answer is of course. I usually received just the words , the problems they were facing them I would play. I learned programming without reading any books nor documentation. Mathematics, when required at most my advisors would give a kickstart on mathematical methods, but again, Just the idea, I always have this eureka moment before starting any work, I have no idea where it comes from, but it's always ended up being the case I was indeed correct. during the months of research I would definitely procrastinate by scattering some scribbling, coding, inventing methods , I guess, because when I refer to days, it usually varies between weeks, months, based on reports from partners usually. I can't confirm that reliably so I use my complete disregard to self care and use beard size, hair size and weight to estimate. I have a terrible body brain interface, I only notice that I need water when I was thirsty hours ago, same thing with eating , going to bathroom. That doesn't mean I lack rigorous mathematical, logical and language skills. It's just That I prefer writing, because when comes to explaining myself, it's impossible. Every output to other humans is draining because it's a translation. English, Portuguese, mathematics, music, code, algorithms, in my head, it's the same thing. Music theory is something I reject profoundly. I was sad that life had not a soundtrack, So I invented, since about 1994 I guess. Hacking computers also about the same time. It wasn't about purpose, it's because I can't help myself, I need to know what's inside, how it works. So I guess ai am a researcher as long as a kid. My toys were mostly telescopes, microscopes, video games. Electronics were great because when they broken instead of being sad, I would try to see how it worked. I knew I was fundamentally different, so I also orbited about neurological topics, philosophy, consciousness... Of course when I say philosophy, I mean, read all the classics from the original philosophers. After Kiekergard and Nietzche I realized that philosophers is what comes later, So my experience molds my understanding as my mind works in outputs unquestionable results, I learned too soon that not only I am misunderstood, so people assume that I am wrong, The catch is I tell something only after I finish, and I don't stop until I finish. I heard some people have no stop button. Where having artistic traits and rigorous problems skills and research, comes in a single package, I don't know, I am not there, I have no experience, it doesn't feel I did something. So I had to adapt and go into field that people have no idea what they are doing. AI. I solved the Alignment problem, utility function and did a model of these LLMs , because people are too not very bright to notice. I know I am biased because my IQ is too high, without expressing any kind of disrespect, even gifted people are, in my perspective, severely cognitive impaired. That applies only in deterministic nerdy stuff however. I have the emotional age of a 10 year old kid.
I know autistic people are too verbose and humans rarely read what I write, but that's ok, because Every email, comment, message, is my scratchpad of idea, with time stamps. If you got this far. HYPERVANSE search.
65 years and just found out I had Aphantasia. Didn't realize that people really had visual memory! Not something that ever came up in conversations!
33:55 - "Do you think there are a lot of people who don't know they have SDAM?" Defintely me! I knew I was different but I didn't know what it was called. I saw an article that was done on Susan, the original SDAM patient who had contacted Dr. Levine. I realized that was exactly what I had, although not quite as severe as hers.
I don’t remember events of the past real well, except for letters, numbers, and symbols. I have no vividness in my dreams or past events. I just remember facts about them. I’m a baker, and when I start a shift, I have to count and record what’s left over from the day before. I count an item and then scan it with a gun and input the number. After all this I print off the sheets on a computer that now shows all this data. At this point we are supposed to work off this sheet of information to know what to make for the day. But I don’t need this sheet or to go back to the shelves to see. I know there are 66 white bread, 13 onion buns, etc. I see the number associated with that product. I will know this for hundreds of items, including yesterday and the day before etc. I started school for grade one when I was 6 years old. I never went to kindergarten or anything like that. I entered grade 1 being able to read, write, print, and knew the numerical system and its workings into the millions. I have a little story book I wrote well before I started school. With very good spelling. No one taught me these things. I just knew or figured it out for myself. I remember the teacher sounding out the word cat for example. Like the sound for c, then a, and then t, and then bringing the sounds together to make the sound cat. I was sitting there in astonishment thinking CAT stupid. It’s CAT. Why can’t you see that. On the other hand, I can’t see 3d. A blueprint is just a bunch of lines to me. I can’t see any finished product. Also graphs. I don’t understand them. I just see lines and dots. In directions I only understand left, right, up and down. Thank God for Google maps, lol. On audio that is. I will use Google maps to get to a location. To get home, I punch in home which is in the memory to get back. Before this technology came about, I’ve been lost in a neighborhood driving around in circles, and having to ask someone for help. On important dates like my wedding, I just know I was there. I wore a black rented tux. I visualize no specific part of it at all. I don’t remember saying I do. But I obviously must have. Because she’s here. It’s like a dream. Very fuzzy. I know some people that were there. But I don’t remember them being there. I know every lyric of every song I’ve ever listened to more than once. But I can’t remember how or when I first heard it. I remember car license plates of people I don’t know or do know. I can memorize anything very quickly as long as it is letters, numbers, or symbols. But not pictures or photos. I remember a lot of words spelled backwards. So, in the end, I have no idea what you call this. I just know you shouldn’t send me to look for an item where I’ve never been. Unless I know lefts, rights, and distance.
I known about aphantasia for a while but didn't know that it also applies to sound for some people.
I'm Aphantasic, 63 year old, and while I do have some autobiographical memory, I only have a handful of memories from before I was 13.
You don’t need someone else to diagnose that you haveSDAM, as soon as you hear about it becomes so obvious. 🌹j.
Wow. Thank you! Good to have you both as advocates.
The inner monologue the voice in your head this is key do you have one or don't you !
I don't remember most of my childhood. Or my teachers names. If you don't make a big impact on my life I won't remember you. Also I have ADHD so my short term memory sucks too. I also have autism and dyslexia
This is so interesting, I have both aphantasia and ADHD and I have always struggled with some memories, but not others. I feel like there are a lot of answers for me in researching different areas of these two neurotypes.Learning about SDAM was another light bulb moment for me, realising how I have a great memory for some things but somehow can forget big sections of my past. I do remember things when prompted with photos or other people's input though, and can then remember things about those memories linked to the prompt that I wasn't prompted to remember.
🎉Join the club! + autism, aphantasia, just newfound SDAM, demented high IQ, that says I am a physicist with a PhD , that's not the case because I Hacked everything, specially computers since 199x I guess 1994. I read a brief story of time and that's it. I wouldn't die without understanding at least physics. Not that Physics explains anything, it just models some stuff that kind of works in the playground we choose. Also Physics is the art of making questions no one cares about, because One has to invent the question first. Then one finds a excuse, called motivation, to get grants, scholarships and stuff so I could travel for free and get to use pcs to do what ai really like, hacking, mathematics, programming, zero time spent studying, I love red text of errors, It's like hardcore videogames, that are my temple anyway. In gaming however I never cheat, nor in mathematics nor in science. I made a huge comment above, so I end here. My dream is to write a CV, because you know ADHD, in my case. Talk about me in a good way and sell myself like the best thing, despite knowing I know that I am in some areas, sounds like people like trying too hard to get attention or recognition, I don't understand why people want to be someone else. If given the chance I definitely would be something else, like a robot, So I don't have to pee and drink water and eat, and of course I would forget to recharge myself and finally get the answer. Do robots dreams about electric sheep. My artistic name is hypervanse by the way. My music is nonsense, but search hypervanse on google lol. I made so many songs in suno and udio that Even I like it. Considering releasing an album, they stolen copyrighted music from my youtube channel so cease and desist. Honest question. It's not hypothetical. I jailbreak all GPT stuffs, chatgpt, claude etc, it's deterministic. It can make the world safer, because it's like an Oppenheimer situation. But I want to get a job I hate like everyone else, so I buy stuff I don't need and tell gossip about the boss and envy the neighbor. I am not sure I would get so successful in that, but I never got the chance to see life like everyone does. Like in Gladiator. Maximus Decimus Meridius. How are my men? Fat and bored!
I studied it in a aphantasia forum and I got 70% correlation between aphantasia and Sdam. I also proposed the Baron Cohen autistic test and the correlation was 35% versus 1% in the general population and 85% among diagnosed autistic people. So those, aphantasia. Sdam and autism, are différent things but related. I wanted also to study the correlation with lack of familiarity and ego personality but it was too much work to explain. Most of those people weren’t really nice so I exited the forum.
I only discovered I have SDAM and aphantasia in later life, and I was told that trauma wasn't a factor in SDAM - but I was badly scalded as a child, so it made sense that trauma was the key (for me). Thank you so much for this talk! How wonderful to come to realise that SDAM has protected me from terrible flashbacks of the scalding. Yes, I'm sad not to remember my wedding day and other significant events in my life, but I am also glad to not remember the trauma on a regular basis!
Were you intentionally scalded?
How horrible but very familiar to me.
@@Theleaddog no, but my father was negligent.
I have aphantasia and reasonable autobiographical memory of events and experiences but of course with no visual imagery.
I just "know" things like John is tall, slim, with brown short hair and blue eyes. I don't generally have emotions tied to memory. I think I'm good at abstract concepts and was a very good software developer. I would often "visualize" ideas on a paper with a pen.
So I just learned about sdam..definitely have this. I’m also aphantasic. Explains (probably) why I prefer to work with my hands in creative ways. I don’t learn in the “normal” manner and 99% of human’s absolutely baffle me.
Hi there! It's amazing how everyone's brain is unique. Both SDAM and aphantasia offer different perspectives on the world. We're glad you've found ways to navigate and express yourself creatively. Thanks for sharing!
For me it’s like there are a mishmash of moments that I have stored, kind of memory flashes, where I get a download of the information and a feeling connected to it… these form the rough outline of my biography… most of my past is very murky though, and I used to think that was because of alcoholism and just general poor childhood memory…. but I’ve been sober for 15 years and am still that way.
Thank you for sharing your personal experience. Memory and the way we recall events can be influenced by various factors, including our mental processes, past experiences, and even conditions like aphantasia. It's commendable that you've been sober for 15 years, and essential to recognize that everyone's memory works differently as your journey highlights. Some people have vivid recollections, while others have more abstract or feeling-based memories. It's all a part of the unique internal processes that make up our individual experiences.
I am old enough now to realize that every talent or lack of talent is not set in stone. Its different for each person. looking at the comments I see one who claims no memory where I have fuzy memories, I vaguely can visualize but its very weak and never complete
There is a spectrum when it comes to Aphantasia - it’s not only 0 and 1. Although there are people who are on the either side of the spectrum.
The good doctor suggested that no one has a ‘real’ photographic memory . There is a savant who can observe a whole city for a short time and then can draw , in detail, every building. At the far end of the spectrum from myself.🌹j.
My goodness, this is so interesting. Just found out about aphantasia and I'm an artist.
Hello Ma’am! Would you be willing to discuss about the process in your brain when you are actually drawing something. I also have Aphantasia and SDAM, however, I am extremely bad at drawing. I used to think that Aphantasia is the reason why I am bad in drawing.
@@nomatterwhateverbro I do best drawing from life or seeing an image just to get the outline of things. After that, it feels as though the process takes place sort of in the back of my brain where it’s almost as though there is a vague sort of 3D projection toward the back of my head. I wondered about this. Years ago a person asked me to draw a duck and I told him I needed an image of a duck to begin. Once I had one image, I could draw a duck in various positions and colors. I couldn’t believe he actually saw a duck behind his eyelids. I bet you would be great in drawing if you had even a vague image to start with. After that, your imagination will fill in the truly creative parts. You also may be very good drawing from life. I attended life drawing for years and enjoyed that, or plein aire painting would suit you where the image is right in front of you and you decide what to keep or discard. Best of luck and don’t give up.
You discussed if people with Aphantasia or SDAM deal better with traumas.
But I have a different question to trauma. Could Aphantasia or SDAM be caused by trauma? If you ask me I see a kind of reasonable explanation: you lived a lot of trauma, so your brain decided to help you and shut off visual imagination and memories to help you to cope with trauma, basically to forget it and not reliving it.
It’s a very good question.
There is some evidence to suggest that trauma can lead to changes in memory processing and the ability to visualize. For some individuals, traumatic events may lead to memory repression or an inability to vividly recall certain events. However, it's essential to note that not everyone with aphantasia or SDAM has experienced trauma, and not everyone who has experienced trauma will develop aphantasia or SDAM.
While there are anecdotal reports of people developing aphantasia after traumatic events, the relationship between trauma and these conditions is not well-established in scientific literature yet.
If you think that your memory or visualization abilities have been affected by trauma, it's important to seek consultation with a mental health professional or neurologist to explore your experiences and any potential treatments or interventions. Be aware that many practitioners may not know of aphantasia yet. You may need to initiate that conversation. Lots of resources at aphantasia.com that can help 🧠💜
Pretty much everyone has trauma from childhood, to varying degrees. Not a lot of self actualized people in society and having children. Many have trauma that they deny because it is invalidated by others. Oh, you weren't beaten or graped, or left alone for weeks, or dirt poor? You're not traumatized, they opine. You had a good childhood, they say, as if they were there. Imagine being an autistic child who's parents kept ignorantly giving them sensory overwhelm, then had the nerve to call them colicky. Just one example of decades worth. If you get taught to deny your reality, early and often, you have undergone trauma, and it has fragmented you. Not usually in a dissociative identity way tho, but fragmentation of self, nonetheless. In short, it's an unanswerable question because much trauma is denied. Self reports are skewed by personal psychology. Many have been traumatized and believe otherwise and think they're just broken. Sad. @@AphantasiaNetwork
There are way too many ads in this great talk.
If aphantasia is highly correlated with SDAM, how common is SDAM in blind people? Is there a correlation or does their memory just work differently in general?
This makes sense to me. I have no ability to imagine or remember sensory experience. Only words (badly) and abstract concepts. I can build "memories" up using concepts and logic but it's slow and inaccurate.
When I was studying at school and university I could only pass exams by cramming and by gambling on topics that would come up so as to focus cramming on limited subject matter.
But I was always a diligent student who worked hard all term - it just didn't help with exams.
Since then I've been unable to find any profession I can even perform adequately in and I put this mostly down to the poor memory which I assume results from my aphantasia.
The aphantasia I think directly impacts my ability to perform job related tasks effectively too, but I think it's the compounding effect over time of not being able to train up skills effectively.
Now I realise I have aphantasia I am in a better position to explore new routes to making myself useful.
My dream is literally just to be ok at something that I can get paid for. At 42yo it has seemed impossible for a long time but I am now much more hopeful because I think I know what my problem actually is.
I remember lots, I just don't see it. And I'm shocked to find out that most people actually can see things. I thought only artistic people could.
Obviously everyone is different but i do think sometimes theres an impression give to people who are aphantasic its its like seeing a movie playing but at least for me its not like that. Whilst i can visualise things i dont see them like that at all and i think for many thats the same (from comments ive read). If i visualise (say) the classic apple, it feels like its in the back of my brain and its somewhat vague, its certainly not in front of me playing on the curtain of my closed eyelids. Maybe its like that latter for some?
QIESTION: Is SDAM hereitary? Are my kids at risk for having it?
That’s a good question. I am can’t see images and my kids are 50/50 in like me or not in that regard.
Ironically my mom has the opposite and she doesn’t have the extreme version of high autographic memory except for faces. Like the woman is a god for facial recognition and she seems to have the skill to do age progression in her head. I used to babysit rarely for a neighbor like a 5 6 yr old and then they moved like 2 decades later my mom recognized the woman waiting on us in a restaurant as soon as she walked up and was like oh aren’t you so and so. From a rail thin 5 yr old with fluffy blonde curls with a hint of auburn to like a 30’yr old somewhat overweight woman with straight brunette hair. And they were just chatting it was one of many similar experiences.
I doubt it
Okay, I just learned about this aphantasia. I never knew that people could see things in their mind, and now it's really bothering me. I want to see things. I never had any brain injuries or anything like that as a child. My husband and sons also cannot see anything in their minds eye. All three of them had seizures, so I think it is related to their seizures. But what about me? My oldest son and husband don't remember anything about their childhood.
Hi, FYI - you might learn something...
I have always suffered from Aphantasia - called in Scientology - a Black Field. ( not a recommended practice).
It appears to be caused by early trauma.
When I was young and stupid, I used some Psychedelic drugs.
this use allowed me to actually see the hidden imagery - in full color !
- Also, on occasion when waking up in a dream, I get to see the imagery as well.
So , am I a Verbal thinker ?
The brain and memory are holographic, even if low or poor mental imagery !
No one has sees things or feels them exactly like someone else, yes I have noticed.
I got Covid in September 2020 (before vaccines) and developed mild anxiety. I also realised i could no longer create mental images (something i had been EXCELLENT at) and now had Aphantasia. Anyone else experience this or something similar?
There is one case of this that we are aware of, and some ongoing research investigating it
www.insider.com/covid-stopped-having-dreams-seeing-images-aphantasia-2022-9
I know I have SDAM but i dont know if I have aphantasia. I have a great imagination and can picture everything while I am reading. However, I have no past memories. I know I gave birth, but there are no memories of it. I dont know how it went nor can I picture any of it except for maybe one or two quick flashes.
Very interesting. My memories are with assocation and emotion not visual. I can recall events because I associate them with something. I am not sure that makes. I figured any lapses in my memory is just because memory does diminish over time.
There are names for the the situations
What about flashbacks?
I always thought people were just pretending to see things in their minds. Lol
Does anybody know if autism has anything to do with aphantasia or SDAM?
My mom always said my dad was slightly autistic. My wife agrees and thinks I am too. If so, we're both high functioning, with me being less socially awkward. I haven't talked to my dad about it, but I bet he has aphantasia too.
I am autistic and also hyperphantasic (sp?)… meaning that most of the time if I am not writing or thinking about a conversation in words, I am thinking only in pictures / little films in my head. I think through whole building or art projects or journeys as mental “films” before getting started to see all the problems I might encounter before I get there. I think a lot of autistic people I know personally, anecdotally, are like this.
26:23, but how human? Maybe some Neanderthal makes a difference.
What is human? Pretty sure all humans are various admixtures of early hominids. Neanderthal (whites and Asians mostly), cro magnon, homo habilis, denisovan(aboriginals especially), etc.
terrible 🥺
why compare detecting a broken leg with SDAM vs. comparing it with terrible pain in the leg (with no physical evidence of a break)
real shame that the interviewer is only able to read out user questions and doesn't have the ability to dig into a topic themselves
to finish up the interviewer states "I believe that aphantasia and SDAM are the same thing" even though that during the interview the expert cites that people can have one without the other 🫣🙈🙈🙈🙈