I just use a big roulette wheel that has a new age word in each slot. Spin the wheel, collect the words, Turn em into sentences, publish book, go on Oprah. Repeat. You can buy my big "wheel of New age sciencey mumbo jumbo" with just 19 easy payments of 99.99...Great video BTW!
I was hoping the line at the end, "The infinite potential of your nine-dimensional soul ..." was real Deepak, but alas Google says it's Chopra-free word salad. However, my search did yield this gem from a real "transdimensional" website: "From the perspective of human soul evolution, once you have vibrated to all nine dimensions, you have officially completed your universal experience and are free to come or leave the universe." Sounds like fun!
The blip-flashed photo at 1.53 is of Leonard Mlodinow, a quantum physicist, who hilariously popped up out of the audience to repeatedly bitch-slap Deepak Chopra, The King of Woo-Woo, during a debate at Caltech. There's a clip of it called, "Physicist Leonard Mlodinow vs. Deepak Chopra."
That was terrific! Now I'm all set to begin my new career as a guru. Just one problem - I have a conscience. Is there a lesson two that explains how I can suppress this nagging feeling that getting people to eat bulls#!t by calling it fresh baked cinnamon rolls* makes me a colossal douchebag? *By "cinnamon rolls," I of course mean: The ephemeral consciousness of exponential memory, with icing.
I was waiting for the zinger at the end to be 'And these are all actual quotes from Depak Chopra'. Alas, I guess his word-salad sciency catchphrases are proprietary. Nice work, guys.
Oh god. If we translate those examples to spanish, that's preeeetty similar to what i hear in conferences for master-degree Gestalt therapy in a local university. This shit is viral!
Once again Brian, you humorously expose the BS peddlers of the world. Keep this up and we might begin to suspect that "Mr. D" is more than a persona :-)
This reminds me of the Church of Religious Science. Its credo was pantheism. Of course it had no science, just a very boring "textbook" called "Science of Mind" full of dull platitudes. We were made to chant and sing stupid chants and songs about "I am one with God, I am a perfect child of God, may God's perfect will be revealed in me" over and over. My mother joined it because she liked the idea of reconciling science and religion. For a while I sort of believed in it, or at least wanted to. When I expressed serious doubts she called me a "negative thinker" but after a while she let me quit attending. I was once referred to a nutritional doctor who gave me Deepak Chopra's book on ayurvedic medicine about the 3 "doshas" (vata, pita, and kapha), which one was your body's predominant dosha, and how to balance them with a special diet. You were also supposed to get up extra early every morning to rub vegetable oil into the top of your scalp and shampoo it out and also do yoga, and as a lifelong thoroughly non-morning person there was just no way I was going to do that. Again I sort of wanted to believe in it, it was rather interesting, but my skeptical side knew it was bovine fertilizer.
I love how you listed quantum mechanics separate from physics. Almost as if most people won't understand that it's a branch of physics. ;) It's also "shocking" how similar the things you mentioned with regards to misappropriation of language sounded to things I've actually heard said at a quantum computing seminar held while I was working on my PhD.
But I thought this was the course to maximize my 1990's spiritual turbo-encabulator? Or am I supposed to calibrate the dimensionality using a second-hand 1985 Flux Capacitor I found by the side of that railroad track just outside of town? If someone has an answer, then, please answer me soon, because I really need to fully utilize my quantum-enflustered aural-perception before polarities are fully reversed at the next lunar Zenith... :(
It's simple. Thanks to expentionist phylogeny, consciousness arises from quantum channeling activating ribosomally through your inner cytoarchitectonics proxies. It's like an Al Nina in your ulterior Topografov cortex. Everyone knows that. So theoretically, if we quantumly balance the Birch and Navier-Stokes conjecture and gravitational relativity, we would finally achieve Universal Nirvana.
Brian and Michael: Great work. I'm a big fan. May I ask, who was that person whose image you flashed when you warned the potential "guru" not to go to CalTech or MIT? I would LOVE to see or read about some of those geniuses ripping a faker to pieces.
AWESOMEEE!!!, you can do a whole video about what the fuckity fuck is "energy" for all of this gurus, or the conflicting claims about propositions for a supernatural structure of the human spiritual or energetic or wowo body
Infinity influences the mechanics of excellence. The Higgs-Boson is an ingredient of reckless sexual energy. Your heart is the foundation of visible photons. Death shapes an expression of creativity. Self-knowledge is inherent in immortal timelessness.
Did she say when those 11 years are going to be. Maybe they are 2052-2063? Of course if she's in a box underground it's going to be a very boring 11 years.
The infinite possibilities of the 9th deep dish pizza expanding upon the 7 layer bean dip... wait, I think I have this wrong. Gosh, you guys are so knowledgeable and sciency, I guess I just don't understand.
Although I suppose credit should be given for putting on a show. It's one thing to dissect and humiliate, but I wonder if I could actually do what a guru does if I tried. There must be some value created somewhere..
That's Leonard Mlodinow who wrote a book with Stephen Hawking. He was in the CalTech audience when Michael and Sam (Harris) did a God debate for ABC News. Deepak misused the idea of "Quantum locality" and Leonard called him out. You can find it somewhere here on UA-cam. It's awesome!
The weirdest (and annoying thing) is that Deepak Choprah's ads are appearing here on youtube as I watch this video. I'm using IE 11, trying this new version out, and AdBlock just isn't working. Win7
I am getting a lot of flak from the followers of "Bashar". (google Bashar, it is jaw-dropping-dumb) I keep pointing them to this high quality piece from Mr Deity and Dr Shermer. I do not think they are even watching it though. Too bad...the stuff said in this video when trying to sound like a guru sounds just like the stuff said by Bashar.
I object to mathematics being said listed as an example of science. Science uses mathematics but mathematics is not science but a part of logic which is itself part of philosophy and used by science. Now I understand mine is a minor point, and is not important to the point of the video. But being skeptical required me to raise this objection.
***** I believe it was mentioned that mathematics is a tool of science like logic. However, string theory could easily be said to not be "science". But then, of course, neither is relativity - these are the PRODUCTS of science. Science is a methodology. At present, string "theory" is more of a hypothesis, that has yet to be experimentally verified. This is not to say that the people working on it are not scientists. They are - because they use the scientific method to try to investigate it.
***** No that's not what I'm saying. I said science uses math. String theory uses math. I think string theorists are scientists. I was very clear in my objection: Dr Shermer was giving a list of the the "hard science" and listed mathematics in that list. I disagreed mathematics is a science.
There a guy on UA-cam trying to look like you Brian It's called HeavenlyTV; I think you need to take legal action and make him shave his 'facial hair'?
Encase any one cares there's 3 spacial detentions one time dimension and others are theorized as they would provide a potential mathematical explanations to some problems ie I think string theory requires 11 dimensions in total to work. but to my knowledge non of the extra dimensions have been proven.
walkingmap That book takes the form of a debate. I haven't read it, but according to a synopsis online and descriptions from people who have, Mlodinow and Chopra don't agree on anything except what topics to write about.
Haven't you guys seen it? They mentioned Mlodinow because he was the one who kind of embarassed Chopra with simple questions and humble remarks on Quantum Physics (/watch?v=Z17sIJyQ3oY). Priceless! Peace and science for all of you!
I just use a big roulette wheel that has a new age word in each slot. Spin the wheel, collect the words, Turn em into sentences, publish book, go on Oprah. Repeat. You can buy my big "wheel of New age sciencey mumbo jumbo" with just 19 easy payments of 99.99...Great video BTW!
have you tried the post modernism generator?
You might also want to try the New Age Bullshit Generator!
Bravo!
"It's as simple as that!"
Priceless. Howlingly funny. Thank you.
Omigod! Brian turned into Deepak Chopra at 2:22. Stop doing that. It's creepy.
D. Pack - my favorite Quantum Rapper
I was hoping the line at the end, "The infinite potential of your nine-dimensional soul ..." was real Deepak, but alas Google says it's Chopra-free word salad. However, my search did yield this gem from a real "transdimensional" website: "From the perspective of human soul evolution, once you have vibrated to all nine dimensions, you have officially completed your universal experience and are free to come or leave the universe." Sounds like fun!
That's hysterical! I wish I had found that before we made this.
Don't let your girlfriend vibrate too hard, she might up and leave the universe afterward.
"Your movement arises and subsides in exponential abstract beauty" "Your desire constructs great reality" haha Chopra generator.
The blip-flashed photo at 1.53 is of Leonard Mlodinow, a quantum physicist, who hilariously popped up out of the audience to repeatedly bitch-slap Deepak Chopra, The King of Woo-Woo, during a debate at Caltech.
There's a clip of it called, "Physicist Leonard Mlodinow vs. Deepak Chopra."
USERNAMEfieldempty ouh that moment mas GOOOLD offering a course in quantum mechanics because he was using the terms at total whim
That was terrific!
Now I'm all set to begin my new career as a guru.
Just one problem - I have a conscience.
Is there a lesson two that explains how I can suppress this nagging feeling that getting people to eat bulls#!t by calling it fresh baked cinnamon rolls* makes me a colossal douchebag?
*By "cinnamon rolls," I of course mean: The ephemeral consciousness of exponential memory, with icing.
I'm SO posting this to Deepak Chopra's Facebook wall! LMAO
So nice seeing gurus get their turn!
when you were making statements in the most complex way i thought of the Martians of Futurama, "You waste words"
Oh the irony: I got a commercial for learning to read tarot cards after this. Proof the UA-cam algorithm has a sense of humor!
You guys got your "quotes" from the Deepak Chopra Random Quote Generator didn't you?
Must remember - "Their ignorance is your friend."
I tried internalizing that sentence about "the infinite potential of my nine-dimensional soul," but it gave me the hiccups.
Excellent. Thanks for your work guys.
Brilliant
very good summary. will send this link to colleagues who like to "believe" too much. (and like minded colleagues as well)
Mr. Deity, I'll follow you anywhere!
This needs way more episodes...
I was waiting for the zinger at the end to be 'And these are all actual quotes from Depak Chopra'. Alas, I guess his word-salad sciency catchphrases are proprietary.
Nice work, guys.
Yeah, there's this sticky little thing called copyright. It's annoying.
What you guys are doing is great!
Oh god. If we translate those examples to spanish, that's preeeetty similar to what i hear in conferences for master-degree Gestalt therapy in a local university.
This shit is viral!
All hail the New Age Spiritual Guru Tree!!!
ooohwaaa......taaaanaaa......siiiaaaaammmm!!!
ooohwaaa......taaaanaaa......siiiaaaaammmm!!!
Brilliant!
You had me at 'quantum'.
I love this video. It was completely hilarious and true all at the same time.
AWESOME!!! OH pleeeeeeeease make more like THIS!! I LOVE IT!! Hilarious!!!
@Robert Porter Props. Good one. seriously I didn't even notice until you pointed it out.
Best Chopra parody ever!
This is awesome
Oooo...that's a good one! Great vid!
Brilliant!
Love it
oh my, Deja-vu!
Once again Brian, you humorously expose the BS peddlers of the world. Keep this up and we might begin to suspect that "Mr. D" is more than a persona :-)
No, yours actually. Until she got too fat and ugly to put up with the low intelligence that she clearly passed on to you.
It all makes sense now that I understand.
This reminds me of the Church of Religious Science. Its credo was pantheism. Of course it had no science, just a very boring "textbook" called "Science of Mind" full of dull platitudes. We were made to chant and sing stupid chants and songs about "I am one with God, I am a perfect child of God, may God's perfect will be revealed in me" over and over. My mother joined it because she liked the idea of reconciling science and religion. For a while I sort of believed in it, or at least wanted to. When I expressed serious doubts she called me a "negative thinker" but after a while she let me quit attending.
I was once referred to a nutritional doctor who gave me Deepak Chopra's book on ayurvedic medicine about the 3 "doshas" (vata, pita, and kapha), which one was your body's predominant dosha, and how to balance them with a special diet. You were also supposed to get up extra early every morning to rub vegetable oil into the top of your scalp and shampoo it out and also do yoga, and as a lifelong thoroughly non-morning person there was just no way I was going to do that. Again I sort of wanted to believe in it, it was rather interesting, but my skeptical side knew it was bovine fertilizer.
Holy Mackerel, this is so funny! (maybe you should do something about his Holiness, the Mackerel). Thanks you guys!
Wow.. This is released just after I finished watching "A Critical Analysis of 'What the Bleep'".. coincidence?!?!?!?!
Yes.
Definetly worth a buck watching this. Nice video! Did you use the Deepak Choprah random quote generator, or was that genuinely Choprah?
I used the quote generator, but then added my own stuff. The generator is hysterical.
The Chopra must've been your valedictorian.
hehe - awesome. My fluctuating aura has quantitatively recapitulated to the quantum dimensions of determinate chakra fields
I love how you listed quantum mechanics separate from physics. Almost as if most people won't understand that it's a branch of physics. ;)
It's also "shocking" how similar the things you mentioned with regards to misappropriation of language sounded to things I've actually heard said at a quantum computing seminar held while I was working on my PhD.
But I thought this was the course to maximize my 1990's spiritual turbo-encabulator? Or am I supposed to calibrate the dimensionality using a second-hand 1985 Flux Capacitor I found by the side of that railroad track just outside of town? If someone has an answer, then, please answer me soon, because I really need to fully utilize my quantum-enflustered aural-perception before polarities are fully reversed at the next lunar Zenith... :(
Hah hah this is awesome. Now we just need to post dozens of links to it in the comments section of every video with Deepak talking in it.
I have been inspired by this intrinsic manifestation of educative missinformation.
it really is that simple!
It's simple. Thanks to expentionist phylogeny, consciousness arises from quantum channeling activating ribosomally through your inner cytoarchitectonics proxies. It's like an Al Nina in your ulterior Topografov cortex. Everyone knows that. So theoretically, if we quantumly balance the Birch and Navier-Stokes conjecture and gravitational relativity, we would finally achieve Universal Nirvana.
Is there anything as obvious as that? I don't think so.
Kamizushi Akinari I have no idea what you just said, but take my wallet and tell me where I sign up.
Sounds like woo woo..
John Conner You don't say. :P
Kamizushi Akinari
Haha, my eye caught this comment before I had completely watched the video, at that point I picked up on the joke!
I see the truthiness of their point about sounding sciency. It's just like Sarah Palin boasted, "I ain't got me no learnin'!"- 'merica!
Brian and Michael: Great work. I'm a big fan. May I ask, who was that person whose image you flashed when you warned the potential "guru" not to go to CalTech or MIT? I would LOVE to see or read about some of those geniuses ripping a faker to pieces.
Leonard Mlodinow. /watch?v=Z17sIJyQ3oY
AWESOMEEE!!!, you can do a whole video about what the fuckity fuck is "energy" for all of this gurus, or the conflicting claims about propositions for a supernatural structure of the human spiritual or energetic or wowo body
Yes, we are looking at YOU, Deepak Chopra.
Who's the dude @ 1:52? please tell me he's a woo-warrior who went to M.I.T. and dug himself a grave.
This sounds just like a stand-up routine I did years ago. (Sadly, one of the times my camera wasn't working.)
Does anyone have a link regarding the man in 1:53? I'm afraid I don't recognize him, but it sounds like there's a really funny story behind it :)
You are correct. watch?v=Z17sIJyQ3oY
Thanks for the link, I just watched it. Fucking LOL. A significant proportion of the audience clearly knew he was bullshiting.
Endless Infinities??? I've watched this video several times and I just noticed that. LOL!!!!!
Infinity influences the mechanics of excellence.
The Higgs-Boson is an ingredient of reckless sexual energy.
Your heart is the foundation of visible photons.
Death shapes an expression of creativity.
Self-knowledge is inherent in immortal timelessness.
Doesn't get any better than this! Sadly it made my favorite videos number no longer 666 though.
OMG
Your revelation is the SAME as XenuTankhamonIshna's!!!
Must be thruthyfull!!
Thank you Deep Pack!
P.S. Any relation to Goo Ru Paul?
First. By the way did you hear about that old crow Sylvia Brown dying? She made the prediction she would live another 11 years.
No, not first.
Did she say when those 11 years are going to be. Maybe they are 2052-2063?
Of course if she's in a box underground it's going to be a very boring 11 years.
It seems obvious to me that they're taking a much needed shot at Deepak Chopra. Good work guys!
It seemed that way to me to,except at the end. The 5 point checklist looked like a script outline for Ian Juby's pathetic little wazooloo videos.
***** I don't know anything about this guy. I have to look into this.
1:52 HAHAHAHAHA Oh god that's hilarious.
The infinite possibilities of the 9th deep dish pizza expanding upon the 7 layer bean dip... wait, I think I have this wrong. Gosh, you guys are so knowledgeable and sciency, I guess I just don't understand.
Haha, this was great.
Shermer's and Dalton's Khan is Deepak Chopra and his woo-woo.
I'd rather not have anything to do with his woo-woo.
No pun was intended. But it worked out anyway. I shall choose my words better next time.
Sounded so much like Chopra quotes.
This is reminiscent of the Deepak Chopra random quote generator.
This describes so many "climatologists"
Who is the guy they flash the pic of being schooled at MIT or Cal Tech?
6. Tell people could things about their bad habits.
Although I suppose credit should be given for putting on a show. It's one thing to dissect and humiliate, but I wonder if I could actually do what a guru does if I tried. There must be some value created somewhere..
@1:50 Who's the guy pictured?
That's Leonard Mlodinow who wrote a book with Stephen Hawking. He was in the CalTech audience when Michael and Sam (Harris) did a God debate for ABC News. Deepak misused the idea of "Quantum locality" and Leonard called him out. You can find it somewhere here on UA-cam. It's awesome!
Deepak Chopra came to mind as I watch this video.
who was the picture of that they flashed at 1:52?
Did you guys have Deepak Chopra in you class?
Yes, but can you scienturgically excruciate all the stuff that we don't need?
TIL!
lol awesome
I don't know about the rest of you, but I trust the Rev. Korean American
Awesome! I'm disappointed you didn't throw in dark matter and dark energy. Those are fairly new terms nearly no one knows about.
I hear Deepak Chopra teaches the advanced courses at Con Academy. In his quantum underwear.
#6: Use a sciency sounding pseudonym, such as "Inspiring Philosophy" or "Spirit Science".
This should be renamed "the Genesis of Spirit Science" :P
alternate title. Deepak for Dummies
Lensed?
Great video, I'm guessing that Deepak Choprah was the target of this one..!
The weirdest (and annoying thing) is that Deepak Choprah's ads are appearing here on youtube as I watch this video. I'm using IE 11, trying this new version out, and AdBlock just isn't working. Win7
Brian Sun Myung Dolphin?
(cough) Deepak Chopra
nice dig at deepak chopra
Sounded like deepak choopra
Will there be Kool Aid?
Was Mr Deity really quoting Deepak?
probably, he was at least paraphrasing. XD
I am getting a lot of flak from the followers of "Bashar". (google Bashar, it is jaw-dropping-dumb) I keep pointing them to this high quality piece from Mr Deity and Dr Shermer. I do not think they are even watching it though. Too bad...the stuff said in this video when trying to sound like a guru sounds just like the stuff said by Bashar.
I object to mathematics being said listed as an example of science. Science uses mathematics but mathematics is not science but a part of logic which is itself part of philosophy and used by science. Now I understand mine is a minor point, and is not important to the point of the video. But being skeptical required me to raise this objection.
*****
I believe it was mentioned that mathematics is a tool of science like logic. However, string theory could easily be said to not be "science". But then, of course, neither is relativity - these are the PRODUCTS of science. Science is a methodology. At present, string "theory" is more of a hypothesis, that has yet to be experimentally verified. This is not to say that the people working on it are not scientists. They are - because they use the scientific method to try to investigate it.
*****
No that's not what I'm saying. I said science uses math. String theory uses math. I think string theorists are scientists. I was very clear in my objection: Dr Shermer was giving a list of the the "hard science" and listed mathematics in that list. I disagreed mathematics is a science.
I accept your critique.
Well that was easy. I thought we would have the old science vs philosophy fight. Thanks Mr Deity.
There a guy on UA-cam trying to look like you Brian It's called HeavenlyTV; I think you need to take legal action and make him shave his 'facial hair'?
Deepak?
Encase any one cares there's 3 spacial detentions one time dimension and others are theorized as they would provide a potential mathematical explanations to some problems ie I think string theory requires 11 dimensions in total to work. but to my knowledge non of the extra dimensions have been proven.
Well, I know there's at least a 5th Dimension because I have some of their albums.
Who's the guy who pops up a 1:52?
*****
He also chose to write a book with Deepak Chopra "War of the Worldviews: Where Science and Spirituality Meet -- and Do Not"
walkingmap
That book takes the form of a debate. I haven't read it, but according to a synopsis online and descriptions from people who have, Mlodinow and Chopra don't agree on anything except what topics to write about.
Darin Rodberg
and Michael Shermer gave it an excellent write up on Amazon ... I gotta check it out
Haven't you guys seen it? They mentioned Mlodinow because he was the one who kind of embarassed Chopra with simple questions and humble remarks on Quantum Physics (/watch?v=Z17sIJyQ3oY). Priceless!
Peace and science for all of you!
Roque Pinho
You're a supreme being just playing the role of a UA-cam commenter.