Stayed with a guy far too long because I was telling myself "I'm just overreacting" and "my anxiety comes from my childhood wounds". Nope, the dude was actually still in love with his ex, and my gut feeling picked it up. Wish, wish, wish I had acted on my gut feeling earlier. If you feel "anxious for no reason" - you're not crazy. There is a reason, it just needs to be understood correctly ♥ hope this helps somebody
yesss. i was chatting with a guy and he started to play texting games. i started noticing it, feeling anxious, thinking its me, bc i am anxious attached. i mantained cool but in the end he would flake and ghost. i was right. i can trust myself now.
The same exact thing happened to me. He ran me into debt and told me if I didn’t lose my virginity to him he wouldn’t believe I loved him, a week after I lost it to him he started cheating on me with his ex, when I would get anxious he would gaslight me and withhold affection. Then when the truth came out he ghosted me, after a 2.5 year relationship. I’m sorry you went through that
I've been feeling extemely anxious with NO apparent reason, Its just a feeling from my gut. It is just so strong. When I confronted him, I can feel hes not honest. Its so frustrating
It gets louder and louder the more you ignore it. I always imagine it as someone knocking on a door in my mind and yelling louder and louder until I listen.
Ive known from the beginning.....God is with me, i know for a fact! Smile and breath...its going to be ok, God made this HUGE heart just for this evil, nothing on this Earth is more powerful than Love and baby, im packing the most of that than anyone alive today knows......he told me that he knew me and had this job for me before I was ever even in the womb and I have hung on brcause of this and because Im a wolf for someone special to me.....the sharks have messed with her....may God have mercy on them, because I will NOT!!! ...
@@SusanWinter I just may add or confirm that is, that often times I think, we do pick up on some irregularity - like you said before 5:14 in the video - that makes us have that "gut feeling" but are too *busy, or delusion ourselves still and so on, so it doesn't come to continuousness completely/in a full perspective? And again, literally thank you for existing Susan 😅 and for DOING THESE videos. It is truly a life changer 🙏. Not only that I learn a lot, but also having someone for the FIRST TIME confirming something that "I knew" but watching some other videos on these topics made me doubt my perceptions and conclusions and just getting more confused.. . 🌞🌸✨🧚💜🌱🌻
I started detecting some changes in my partner. My gut feeling said she was cheating and even though she denied it in the beginning, she confessed later after she was caught. Always trust your gut.
I will never go against my gut again ever before i meet him i had gut feeling not too go their didn't listen most of the relationship has been toxic mind games and the rest 😔
It absolutely speaks the truth. Your gut feeling just reaffirms that there’s something wrong with the relationship. It may not necessarily confirm that the other person is cheating, but it does confirm that you don’t feel right in the relationship. You’re in denial if you think all is great and you want to sweep your gut under the rug.
I love this. And very rarely are insecurities unwarranted, it's usually behavior which doesn't align with safety/security in a relationship manifesting itself. If people care about the relationship and cultivating it properly, the right actions are taken and exhibited. So if someone's not all in or just there for less committed reasons, you'll be able to tell.
Do you think that if someone is fully committed, they would work on those insecurities with them? I feel like it’s because of my past insecurities, it had pushed my partner away from wanting to do that.
@@vivianluong8873 I don't think it's the norm to work past "insecurities" for another person, I'd be weary of a person pushing you past any untrustworthy/gut feelings, possible narcissist. You'd probably have a secure & clearly communicated relationship from the start. You should also work on yourself before a relationship, to the point where your past isn't hindering you currently, it's unhealthy to bring emotional baggage into a new situation. You won't have good discernment without proper healing.
I had a gut feeling after 1 month he wasn't for me. He love bombed me (big red flag) and became very needy and clingy. I felt so smothered! I told him I needed space. He guilt tripped me to keep trying. Saying "I'm going to miss you so much". 4 years later and countless accusations of cheating when I wasn't doing anything! Things would be ok then out of the blue he would blow up and accuse me. I am almost 100% sure now he was the one cheating with this woman he always claimed was just a "friend". It was hell on earth! I am healing now but wish I had followed my intuition. Ladies we have a strong sense of intuition. NEVER ignore your GUT FEELINGS!!
Sounds like my situation but he's long distance. I was at a virtual Bible study and he sent a sad emoji and I said I'll be back but then I felt so guilty that I went out of my Bible study earlier than intended to talk to him. Then I said hey I got to go because I'm going to spend time with my cousin who came to town and he would say things like I'm going to miss you. Miss me? We talked to today! He would even say I miss you even though we talked on the phone last night. I told him that I needed some space and he respected it.
Be careful sharing this kind of gut feeling information if you suspect your partner is a cover narcissist. They will use that against you and Gaslight you, telling you you're crazy and need help or even therapy to deal with your insecurities when they're the ones not in it fully and your gut feeling is nothing but correct at the fact they have one foot out the door and don't want you to know
I never knew how to differentiate between insecurity and gut instincts before I found out my ex cheated on me. Now I know never to second guess my gut again!
Always I mean ALWAYS listen to your gut feeling, I had lots of relationships in the past, and I can remember that I got so many gut feeling signals with certain girls only not all of them and I was completely right, I just felt that there was something wrong happening without having any evidence, I felt angry, upset and couldn’t be romantic with them, it’s like something was preventing me from being nice and romantic with them, I was forced internally to stop saying “I love you” or even calling them babe or my love. The hardest thing is how to prove it to confront your partner and in this case don’t talk directly use some physiological tricks. If you confront your partner you would get ZERO truth, nobody would say oh you are right I’m cheating on you, even if they want to break up with you, they don’t want to be the bad part of the story “fu***** cheaters”, they would say “seriously!!! Why do you think that I’m cheating or taking to someone else? You are crazy.
One piece of advice: if you have to keep convincing yourself that everything is fine and you can't shake off the feeling that something is wrong and anxiety comes out of nowhere just leave. Stop trying to be politically correct and give people a chance. They might be great but if you are not feeling it you are just not feeling it. That doesn't make you a bad person. At the beggining you should be calm and excited. Feeling should be growing slowly but steadily. If there are not and anxiety keeps peeking out it's for a reason. Trust yourself.
One time I ignored my intuition about someone because I thought I needed to step outside my comfort zone. Big mistake. Later my gut kept telling me "I told you so nyah nyah!" I lost a bunch of money but in the end, I turned it into a much needed learned lesson....the price to learn it was worth it otherwise I may have ignored it again. Crucial to listen to that instinct/intuition/gut or as some might refer it to as The Holy Spirit. Whatever it is.......do listen to it! Pay attention.
I can speak to this... over the past 6 months, i started to feel something odd about my wife. she started to pull away, and claim she's working late and company events on a regular basis. Then it gets worse as the days pass until she is unresponsive to my texts, and spending time with me less and less, when i know her phone is pretty much attached to her hip. Well... she broke up with me, then confess that she moved on with a coworker a month later. She has always been a person i can trust, and have done nothing for me to think otherwise. But trust your intuitions... A good signal that something is not right, is feeling her pulling away. They do this because they loss emotional connection with you, and more than likely there is a 3rd person involved.
When you are with someone and everything is great, the relationship is great, you spend good moments and heartfelt moments with them, but all of a sudden you feel this gut feeling that you are not happy, that’s your gut speaking. Even though things are good, your gut is protecting you. Listen to it. You need to make sure what it is you need to be clear, but listen to it when you are happy or not. It can’t fail you!
It is profound feeling of absolute certainty that you or the other person needs to leave. It comes from the core of your being and is not something that you sit around and contemplate. You act as if your life depends on it.
oh that dreaded gut feeling that we or at least i try to put off and tell myself im wrong what i am feeling even though deep down i know my gut is right..its not been wrong yet...i think we all know what we are feeling is true too but we try so hard to counter against it..your videos are always very honest and to the point i love that
If there's a gut feeling regarding cheating, it would be best not to expose your suspicion. If we are talking about a long relationship I suggest you should keep an eye on them. A thief would never tell you if he or she has ever stolen anything,same goes here ( pretty much) If the relationship is fresh then i suggest you just end it. Gut feeling is pretty much a warning that the person opposite you is probably not giving you all the attention and love you used to get. (less attracted to you. A 3rd wheel or possibly bored) Nonetheless save your sanity and move on
Thank you I've been with someone for 4 years and we have a child together and just recently he's been acting weird and stuff and I always accuse him and stuff and now we are working things out but I just have that feeling still and I'm just going to try to keep an eye on it for a while. I feel like I became a stalker and obsessed now. Idk. I'm tryin to back Off
FAAUUUCK! I can relate to this. I had the worst nightmare of my life when I was with my Ex. The most vivid and traumatic nightmare I couldn’t even imagine. Eventually I walked away after she came clean about certain things, i appreciated her finally telling the truth, but the honesty always came too late and at points when she was defensive. I know about other things that I know she’ll never admit to. But, yea. When they wanna absolve themselves or when they just don’t care anymore they’ll tell you harsh/ and half truths to convince themselves they aren’t that bad. You’ll never get the full truth, and if you do have cold hard evidence they’ll blameshift or shut down. The hardest thing we face is the struggle to not have to know for sure to make a decision to leave. If your gut is telling you something don’t stick around for confirmation. Have faith in your intuition.
My partner has accused me of cheating and I have always been loyal and faithful. It is so hurtful to be falsely accused and watching your love and relationship be ripped apart over it. My partner claims he feels it in his gut and intuition, this is so hard to wrap my head around, when I know my innocence 😢
Hi Susan. Sorry for the late reply. I really hope you're safe and well in this unusual time. I will certainly inform you of any projects that I'm on. As things have now slowed down I'm using this time to find myself again and heal. I want to thank you for everything you do. I dont many of us realise the hard work and dedication that goes into creating these videos alongside a busy work life. (Although this is an extension of that). You have, and continue to help me out of mental pits I find myself in often. You're certainly my go too. I'm in a state of healing. When you believe, and feel you've met your 'Twin Flame' and then you're shit off from that energy and emotion... you become somewhat incomplete. As if you reached full frequency and now you will never get that back. Part of you has died. This is my current situation...as in a very spiritual guy, I surrounded myself that ignites my energy and fills the void that were created due to the loss I feel. I want to thank you again Susan for all you do. You are truly one of those that are making a difference in the world.... something we should all be practicing....to be better. Stay safe. Stay well. I look forward to seeing more of you soon.x Take care. Ryan.x
Ryan Green - Actor Ryan what a lovely note. Thank you so much for that beautiful share. I’m glad to hear that I’m you’re taking care of yourself in this time of sequestering. And congratulations on bringing yourself back to the state of wholeness. The twin flame is an extremely intense relationship, and most of us wonder how we can survive it when we’re in it. I’m grateful to read at my videos are of help to you. Makes me smile. Please reach out when you need a smile yourself.
I knew it! Aaah I've tried so hard and beaten myself up because I thought I was just being insecure but also knowing that I'm not really an insecure person in general. But ugh I just knew that my ex was not really in it for me. I broke up with him telling him that something's wrong and that I think he's not ready for a serious relationship with me and he didn't even object lol.
The last sentence hit me in my stomac! There was your gut feeling right. A man, who does not even really starts a real deep conversation about it? Red flag into the truth. I hope for you, you do find the right one. Bless you
This comment hits hard! I’m generally an insecure person in relationships, but after your comment I wonder if I’ve been more insecure during the last few months because that was when my ex had started questioning if he could love me, but I was unaware of this info at the time.
Stunning top! I loved that Susan “ do you feel safe enough to share” ahh ... vg. Good nugget. Usually our intuition is dead on. I’m not sure insecurity feels the same as a nagging feeling. Sometimes you just know, even if you don’t want to admit it to yourself. This case could be a matter of one partner more “ in “ and the other along for the now. This is where having the up front is this the kind of relationship you want going forward talk. ( But that doesn’t rule out changes of heart down the road.) Stay safe !
This hit home. My situation exactly. I’m not upset that it didn’t mean as much to her but I’m hurt that she didn’t have the respect for me to openly tell me that. Instead she played hot and cold games and was disrespectful until I walked away. Then she immediately moved on and poured salt in my wounds by finally being honest and confirming all my issues were true but never taking accountability for her lying to me and accusing me of being insecure throughout the relationship. I always knew she wasn’t that invested, it just hurts more knowing she didn’t even remotely consider me enough to be honest about it all. Even if she was confused. She hid it all and gaslit, and manipulated in such a way that I had to face the truth that she had zero remorse or regret for her actions.
It's so hard trying to get over someone especially when you hear from a friend they might of gotten married and has a child. Thinking too much doesn't help and fantasising about things which never happened makes it worse. Wish no one has to go through this 😭
@@pam164 thank you Karen 😊. If she has actually gotten married I'd likely think it's from someone in her family as I never saw her talk to a boy in college except me. She had a close friend who stuck to her all the time. I'm just wondering if she was related to her as she told me they both went to 2 weddings together. Would sound weird if you hear about two friends going to a wedding. I'm just seeing it that I'm happy she has gotten married to someone in her family and not that she was with someone else like me outside her family.
@@SusanWinter thank you Susan. Today I started feeling better but I just get this these moments of congestion in my head and just feel down again. I haven't seen her in 4 years except 2 years ago when I drove out my road and she was crossing. She had such a big smile on her face when she saw me. We both weren't open about it but it seems like decent girls in religion tend to get married within the family. Would love to visit you in person and get your advice but sadly I live in the UK and CoronaVirus doesn't help.
@@zaink7037 You will drive your self mad thinking the what's and the ifs? if she is married and has hard as it is you have to let her go ( in your mind) that is the only way you will move on and be happy. I know ive been through a lot of men hurting me my last ex dumped me over phone after 3 years saying he had met another woman oh boy i remember just wanting to die! but 3 years later im great he did me a favour in long run, i would not have him back with bells on!! 😆 Chin up things will get better 💖
I'm so glad you did this video, I have been wondering how to tell the difference, I've never been able to trust my gut feeling with regard to relationships because I always wonder if it's my insecurities talking. Thank you so much for the advice. 🤗
Aroma Healing I heard when we have a gut feeling its not that the hunch is truth, it’s there letting us know it’s worth investigating. I’m not sayin like Sherlock Holmes, no one wants that. I think it means to take a step back and observe the facts then make your determination.
@@mrquick6775almost feels like at some point either we have to change our perceptions on what we should tolerate in a relationship or face never settling and being alone. So many of my relationships have been with ppl who are quick to minimize things I bring up only for me to later find out that it was indeed as big a deal as I made it out to be, or bigger! Lol. I keep running into ppl who punish me for calling their behavior out. It’s crazy because I can’t tell if they really can’t see what they’re doing is wrong, or they just don’t care enough to consider ppl.
Love my ex of 8 months, but... Told him about my gut feeling, explaining that something didn't feel right. He told me to take as much time as I needed, without discussing it. I believe he was with other people, and was just using me as a companion. He is also very codependent on one of his friends. This had a big impact on our relationship. He planned major things with this guy without telling me, such as flying out of state to attend a wedding with him of someone he didn't know, and he even went to dental appointments with him...It was baffling... I asked him if he was paying for the dental care, he gave me an unconvincing "no". The frosting on the cake is when he stood me up and blamed me. I still care for him, but my gut.... At first I thought it was just insecurity, but I don't think so anymore.
Every year when I reflect i always learn that my instincts were always right it's a reoccurring revelation. I was in a long distance relationship 5 years ago but I ended it within few months after my first visit although on paper he is a very nice guy I had a gut feeling he had a secret relationship with a mutual friend and I even asked him but he denied it. But also because of other reasons I did not continue the relationship. However every year I go back to the country to visit family where my ex also lives, since we have mutual friends me and my ex remained friends but he would always pursue to "court" me but because of rumours escalating I would always ask him about the mutual friend yet he would deny it, but s I would make it clear to my ex I cannot commit to him because my gut just didnt feel right. This year after few years I finally was able to ask the mutual friend myself and they admitted it, I spoke to my ex about it and he was like how he was going to tell me he was just finding right time (but he had so many chances to tell me). Keep in mind this ex would always try to "court" me everytime I'd go to the country yet everytime I asked the question he would deny it. Although I never committed to him I always gave him my friendship and he always had the opportunity to tell me the truth in a calm environment. My fellow youtubers I am so glad I never entered into anything longterm with this guy. Am I hurt? yes I am a because I saw him as a good friend and with any friend I would feel that way if they lied to me for so many years. BUT I am not broken because I never committed myself to this coward my instinct/gut feeling told me each time he tried to "court" me that he is not the right person for me. People NEVER SETTLE even if on paper the person is nice and lovely, your instinct is your sidekick and can identify things that you may not necessarily see straight away.
Thanks for sharing! So proud of you for being courageous enough to follow through and honour yourself. I'm sure you are so proud of yourself as well. Well done! 🌸🤗🖤
i had posted something yesterday, about a friend of mine not responding to my emails. After much thought, I came to the conclusion, that it is not to find out why she is not responding in a timely manner, but more importantly, why am I reacting to it. My conclusion is that she was triggering what my ex used to do to me, that was so emotionally painful for me. As far as she is concerned, I will not reach out as much any longer. Maybe just a hey, how you doing, every now and then. I feel at peace with myself.
I know what that's like. I've had friends come and go, some people are just in your life for a season. Don't read too much into it and don't take it personally. Sometimes to know is to know that you dont know.
I always go by actions speak louder than words (always said it to him and he HATED that) so ofc when I was in a relationship I had insecurities and watched to see if he acted otherwise. He always lied about how he was acting, never matched up to what he was doing so my gut feeling from then on felt off. I'm always given a reason why he acts the way he does, but it ends up being a lie and then he admits it and it starts all over again with something else. It is bloody.... DRAINING!!!!!!
I watched a video about how it is just relationship anxiety and how you need to stick around but then again there are very valid reasons to leave if it's extremely unhealthy. She went on to say that there is no such thing as a gut feeling which is very toxic and dangerous to tell people. You are not obligated to stick around if you feel like it's not for you and especially if they are displaying signs of unhealthy patterns and manipulation or any type of abuse.
Excellent expert advice Susan! When we share our gut feelings we are trying to place a piece in the puzzle rather than simply looking it, and even picking it up and holding it, but never actually placing it to see if it fits.
I had an intuition that my ex and I wouldn’t last. Seven years later, we separated. My gut was right. The problem was that we didn’t talk much especially in the later parts of the relationship.
Can't decide if it was her gut or her insecurities when she kicked me to the curb out of the blue 3 months ago. Wish she had the courage to sit me down & at least explain it all but she didn't. It makes me think of a video you did about a year ago titled From Commitment to Non-existent. Whether gut or insecurities, I'm now feeling she ran ahead of herself & when things got real, she didn't have the skill set to deal. So she bolted. I'm finally in a place where the pain of loss is beginning to wane.. Thank you for all of your videos.
Rick Menasco Thank you for your touching note. I’m so sorry for your experience, but very happy to hear that you are on the other side of it now. Take care
@Authentic Relationships Coaching Not to defend or make excuses for her actions, she does deal with some measure of depression. You might be right to a degree but we all have a bit of narcissism in us. The video Susan put out some time ago titled They Bailed Out of the Blue was the one I was thinking about. It fits my situation perfectly and makes perfect sense. We are both widowed and in our mid sixties and had already started the conversation as to what it would look like if we were to get married in the not-so-distant future. Evidently only one of us was actually serious about it. I really do appreciate your input. Be blessed.
I know...with all my heart.....shes scared very much....there is no reason, smile and take a deep breath, God is sending someone that he made just for you.
And what about when your partner thinks his gut feeling is correct and you don't even know where that came from?? ie I was shopping with him, and when we are getting home he then asks me if I know a guy that passed by me when we were going to check out at the supermarket, cause I turned my head towards that guy and he seemed to be looking at me. The worst is I have no idea who he's talking about, I don't know if this guy is blue yellow or green, I wasn't paying attention.And... I'm new in the city I moved countries to live with him, I do not know anyone in the city...? I was shocked when he asked me that.. I feel like crying when I remember this episode.
I vocalised these words. All I heard is "you are overthinking" I am left with one conclusion, "I am an ovetthinker, I am anxious" That break my heart till this day
Susan, I love watching your videos. You always know exactly what to say. I've heard you say many times that when alarm bells go off consistently during a relationship, it's important to trust your gut. What if you had evidence in the past that your partner is not trustworthy but they claim to have changed? For the first three months that I was seeing my boyfriend, he was still in the process of breaking things off with his ex and lied to me when I confronted him. Now that the truth is out, he claims to have changed but I'm worried that he is pandering to what will keep me around. How do I know if this is my gut instincts or if he has really changed?
the gut is not associated so much with external situation and you don't have evidence..very true. i always regret that I couldn't listen my gut feelings from now I will follow my gut feeling
I'm now in that situation. I feel physical symptoms the same you feel being in danger, like stomach cramps, stronger heartbeat, adrenaline shivers through all my body. I just know something's off with my date. I showed him a support and empathy telling him that I noticed he's bothered by something and that I'm open to talk about it, but he denies it telling everything's fine. However, he is becoming more and more distant. He changed the pattern of texting and communication, now he feels uncomfortable talking about deeper topics and shortly after changes it to more casual. He stopped asking me questions except the casual ones like "what's up". I'm upset because he should come to see me soon and I'm afraid he is going to flake on me, even though he said multiple times that he wants us to work out as a couple. Any advice?
Hi dear, Open communication is important. It's difficult to give advice solely on this comment, but if you'd like to chat privately, feel free to book a private consultation via my site: www.susanwinter.net
Ćao! Search insecure attachment styles. In fearful avoidant attachment style, a person may fear closeness and intimacy. However, they need and heavily rely on the support of others at the same time. Too many narcissists too much drama and trauma in this world just because neglecting mothers didn't change their babies diapers on time and give nurturing consistently smfh🙄
I love it. Thank you. I experience the same thing but I know now that I have alot of external factors that made me easy. I should probably just ask her sometime then and continue to trust and love truly.
Hi Susan. Thank you soooo much for your videos (from South Africa) . You are such a Gem. Could you please make a video about moving on without an apology from your ex partner or why some people just don't have the capacity to apologize even after you have told them they have hurt you deeply. Is there a way you can make them see your perspective or is the inability to apologize a character trait that cannot be changed? But how do you pick up the pieces without an apology when you were wronged? Hope to hear from you soon.
It's much harder to move on without closure, but you'll have to do it for yourself. I have a feeling your ex lacks courage, and doesn't want to accept their responsibility by saying, "I'm sorry." Though it would be nice to have them say it, you don't need it to move on.
When someone is lying it isn’t always obvious because you take people at face value. I find later something they said or did resurfaces as odd then someone else may validate your doubt.
If this is the case either your gut or an insecurity that always pops up, how would you end the relationship? Especially if the person keeps denying or not understanding why or what to do to help fix your insecurities in the relationship. Tbh I dont even know if I know what a healthy relationship feels like anymore when everyone is so guarded or scared to be themselves. 😕
Hi! I'd say you never need to give a reason for why you want to end a relationship. I mean, you can tell the other person that something consistently doesn't feel right, but you don't need the other person to agree with you! Don't let someone convince you to stay when it's not what you want deep down
This resonated with me. Am I too open? Am I so starved and damaged from past relationships that I’m somehow expecting too much from ppl? I’ve never had a problem honestly expressing how I feel. Sometimes it can be somewhat overly emotional. But I noticed that I only get that way when I feel like the other person isn’t meeting me halfway or even part way to when it comes to being open and vulnerable. It takes courage to express that something bothers you. And so many ppl have a fear of vulnerability and have a need to keep the upper hand in the dynamic. I’m not asking for you to openly weep, but if your partner’s attitude is dismissive or minimizing when you express an issue then it’s not you.
After a year and a half of a hell of a situation on my relationship. I have to say this I am happy that I didn't follow my gut feeling and it worked out. But even after this, next time im going to follow my gut feeling, because it was a fucking hell of a year and I shouldn't have put out with that shitty situation.
I had the strongest gut feeling the moment I met this girl that we are meant to be together. Everything about her felt perfect. It kinda still does. Yet she got back with her ex, then I got into a love triangle. She keeps leading me on and abusing to this day. I know this with my brain but I can't understand how I could be so wrong. I believe in every lie she tells me because the truth that she doesn't feel anything back is too hard to accept
I dated a guy for a very long time and he was extremely suspicious and accused me of cheating and going behind his back. I never did these things, and had to defend myself almost every single day. I wish me sat down and actually took that conversation. He foten sent me messages suggesting that I cheated, but obviously he coudnt proove it because it never happened. But I was drained by this experience and felt tired and mentally exhaused over having to proove myself all the time.
@@carlas9723 they actually are. many are "psychotic". usually antisocial pers. Dis with psychotic features. They may also have pathological selfishness, which becomes a reactive like character flaw. they will bring u down in the process of you actually tryin to "help them", before you realize that your flustering, confusion, effort and hurt in the process is part of their "relief strategy." in this case, u have to go, andd take your empathy with you. and give all that good energy to yourself and others.
For me it's all the little things. Each one seems insignificant so I'd probably be clear crazy if I talked about them. But the little things add up and eventually you get to the point of questioning your relationship.
One thing not discussed in the video: When you can't trust your gut feeling because you have depression or another mental illness. For depression, it's hard to trust your gut because depression will lie to you so the part that exists from action can feed itself.
Stayed with a guy far too long because I was telling myself "I'm just overreacting" and "my anxiety comes from my childhood wounds". Nope, the dude was actually still in love with his ex, and my gut feeling picked it up. Wish, wish, wish I had acted on my gut feeling earlier. If you feel "anxious for no reason" - you're not crazy. There is a reason, it just needs to be understood correctly ♥ hope this helps somebody
yesss. i was chatting with a guy and he started to play texting games. i started noticing it, feeling anxious, thinking its me, bc i am anxious attached. i mantained cool but in the end he would flake and ghost. i was right. i can trust myself now.
The same exact thing happened to me. He ran me into debt and told me if I didn’t lose my virginity to him he wouldn’t believe I loved him, a week after I lost it to him he started cheating on me with his ex, when I would get anxious he would gaslight me and withhold affection. Then when the truth came out he ghosted me, after a 2.5 year relationship. I’m sorry you went through that
It just helped me. This morning in NY.. I'm a telling someone goodbye today. He SUCKS.
I've been feeling extemely anxious with NO apparent reason, Its just a feeling from my gut. It is just so strong. When I confronted him, I can feel hes not honest. Its so frustrating
Oh lord help me........I got this babes...
It gets louder and louder the more you ignore it. I always imagine it as someone knocking on a door in my mind and yelling louder and louder until I listen.
True 🎯
Ive known from the beginning.....God is with me, i know for a fact! Smile and breath...its going to be ok, God made this HUGE heart just for this evil, nothing on this Earth is more powerful than Love and baby, im packing the most of that than anyone alive today knows......he told me that he knew me and had this job for me before I was ever even in the womb and I have hung on brcause of this and because Im a wolf for someone special to me.....the sharks have messed with her....may God have mercy on them, because I will NOT!!!
...
My gut starts hurting and I have diarerea so I always regard it as sos
how can some comment be more relatable than this one........
How is is going now? @Annie
that cobalt blue looks stunning on you susan! 💙
thank you
I know its lovely on her.
And love the pattern as well!
@@SusanWinter I just may add or confirm that is, that often times I think, we do pick up on some irregularity - like you said before 5:14 in the video - that makes us have that "gut feeling" but are too *busy, or delusion ourselves still and so on, so it doesn't come to continuousness completely/in a full perspective? And again, literally thank you for existing Susan 😅 and for DOING THESE videos. It is truly a life changer 🙏. Not only that I learn a lot, but also having someone for the FIRST TIME confirming something that "I knew" but watching some other videos on these topics made me doubt my perceptions and conclusions and just getting more confused.. . 🌞🌸✨🧚💜🌱🌻
Asalaamu Alaikum Walaa S
I started detecting some changes in my partner. My gut feeling said she was cheating and even though she denied it in the beginning, she confessed later after she was caught. Always trust your gut.
What were u noticing if u don’t mind me asking
I will never go against my gut again ever before i meet him i had gut feeling not too go their didn't listen most of the relationship has been toxic mind games and the rest 😔
good self-connection!
He could be a narcissist? they are masters of mind games.
It absolutely speaks the truth. Your gut feeling just reaffirms that there’s something wrong with the relationship. It may not necessarily confirm that the other person is cheating, but it does confirm that you don’t feel right in the relationship. You’re in denial if you think all is great and you want to sweep your gut under the rug.
I like this comment “something is wrong”
Maybe not something like cheating, maybe so, but just something is not right. Thanks!
hey
I love this. And very rarely are insecurities unwarranted, it's usually behavior which doesn't align with safety/security in a relationship manifesting itself. If people care about the relationship and cultivating it properly, the right actions are taken and exhibited. So if someone's not all in or just there for less committed reasons, you'll be able to tell.
Do you think that if someone is fully committed, they would work on those insecurities with them? I feel like it’s because of my past insecurities, it had pushed my partner away from wanting to do that.
@@vivianluong8873 I don't think it's the norm to work past "insecurities" for another person, I'd be weary of a person pushing you past any untrustworthy/gut feelings, possible narcissist. You'd probably have a secure & clearly communicated relationship from the start. You should also work on yourself before a relationship, to the point where your past isn't hindering you currently, it's unhealthy to bring emotional baggage into a new situation. You won't have good discernment without proper healing.
I think we shouldn't feel uneasy with a good person who has our best interests. If you feel insecure something isn't right or not compatible.
@@larissagonzales6075 this is what I can’t figure the f out
I had a gut feeling after 1 month he wasn't for me. He love bombed me (big red flag) and became very needy and clingy. I felt so smothered! I told him I needed space. He guilt tripped me to keep trying. Saying "I'm going to miss you so much". 4 years later and countless accusations of cheating when I wasn't doing anything! Things would be ok then out of the blue he would blow up and accuse me. I am almost 100% sure now he was the one cheating with this woman he always claimed was just a "friend". It was hell on earth! I am healing now but wish I had followed my intuition. Ladies we have a strong sense of intuition. NEVER ignore your GUT FEELINGS!!
@Zara Nora hey there, i hope you left him already. if you’re already not feeling 100% comfortable, trust your gut
Apparently not strong enough because y’all keep picking the wrong men. Lmao.. smdh😒👌💥
Sounds like my situation but he's long distance. I was at a virtual Bible study and he sent a sad emoji and I said I'll be back but then I felt so guilty that I went out of my Bible study earlier than intended to talk to him. Then I said hey I got to go because I'm going to spend time with my cousin who came to town and he would say things like I'm going to miss you. Miss me? We talked to today! He would even say I miss you even though we talked on the phone last night. I told him that I needed some space and he respected it.
Be careful sharing this kind of gut feeling information if you suspect your partner is a cover narcissist. They will use that against you and Gaslight you, telling you you're crazy and need help or even therapy to deal with your insecurities when they're the ones not in it fully and your gut feeling is nothing but correct at the fact they have one foot out the door and don't want you to know
Totally agree.
The narcissist always has one foot out the door, that’s a given. They are always farming in the background, for a safe potential landing place.
Accurate
Happened to me, found out about a month later i was right
FUKN FOUND OUT 12 yes 12 YEARS LATER ❌❌❌-=== 2008 to 2020
After narcissistic abuse, I will always go by my intuition.
Love your top❣
I never knew how to differentiate between insecurity and gut instincts before I found out my ex cheated on me. Now I know never to second guess my gut again!
I love the way you teach us how to communicate in relationship.
thank you Pavica!!
Everytime i didn't listen to my gut, i will regret it shortly after. Now i do not fear it but always rely on it
Gut instinct is there to guide you I always say give the benefit of the doubt once then notice behavior patterns
Hm. This answers a puzzle piece for my breakup and why things transpired like they did. Thanks!
Always I mean ALWAYS listen to your gut feeling, I had lots of relationships in the past, and I can remember that I got so many gut feeling signals with certain girls only not all of them and I was completely right, I just felt that there was something wrong happening without having any evidence, I felt angry, upset and couldn’t be romantic with them, it’s like something was preventing me from being nice and romantic with them, I was forced internally to stop saying “I love you” or even calling them babe or my love. The hardest thing is how to prove it to confront your partner and in this case don’t talk directly use some physiological tricks. If you confront your partner you would get ZERO truth, nobody would say oh you are right I’m cheating on you, even if they want to break up with you, they don’t want to be the bad part of the story “fu***** cheaters”, they would say “seriously!!! Why do you think that I’m cheating or taking to someone else? You are crazy.
Yeah that's crazy but true
@@johnoyeogbe8179 how is it going now?
how is it going now?
One piece of advice: if you have to keep convincing yourself that everything is fine and you can't shake off the feeling that something is wrong and anxiety comes out of nowhere just leave. Stop trying to be politically correct and give people a chance. They might be great but if you are not feeling it you are just not feeling it. That doesn't make you a bad person. At the beggining you should be calm and excited. Feeling should be growing slowly but steadily. If there are not and anxiety keeps peeking out it's for a reason. Trust yourself.
One time I ignored my intuition about someone because I thought I needed to step outside my comfort zone. Big mistake. Later my gut kept telling me "I told you so nyah nyah!" I lost a bunch of money but in the end, I turned it into a much needed learned lesson....the price to learn it was worth it otherwise I may have ignored it again. Crucial to listen to that instinct/intuition/gut or as some might refer it to as The Holy Spirit. Whatever it is.......do listen to it! Pay attention.
Beautiful. Thanks for sharing this story.
WOW my last experience with someone was the same !!!!
I can speak to this... over the past 6 months, i started to feel something odd about my wife. she started to pull away, and claim she's working late and company events on a regular basis. Then it gets worse as the days pass until she is unresponsive to my texts, and spending time with me less and less, when i know her phone is pretty much attached to her hip. Well... she broke up with me, then confess that she moved on with a coworker a month later. She has always been a person i can trust, and have done nothing for me to think otherwise. But trust your intuitions... A good signal that something is not right, is feeling her pulling away. They do this because they loss emotional connection with you, and more than likely there is a 3rd person involved.
I really think this about my boyfriend and father of my child . But I really don't know 😢
When you are with someone and everything is great, the relationship is great, you spend good moments and heartfelt moments with them, but all of a sudden you feel this gut feeling that you are not happy, that’s your gut speaking. Even though things are good, your gut is protecting you. Listen to it. You need to make sure what it is you need to be clear, but listen to it when you are happy or not. It can’t fail you!
How is it going now?
It is profound feeling of absolute certainty that you or the other person needs to leave. It comes from the core of your being and is not something that you sit around and contemplate. You act as if your life depends on it.
It does lol
These words are starting to scare me
@@Megdracula Try reading The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker. He explains gut feelings in the book and how they are a gift.
@@ladysmith7747 I’ll look into that thank you
Hey u there, can I discuss something @ladysmith7747
I can't believe this information is just out there on the internet. We are damned blessed and, Susan, you, a bloody angel!
This feeling can be with any relationship we have, not just romantic ones.
oh that dreaded gut feeling that we or at least i try to put off and tell myself im wrong what i am feeling even though deep down i know my gut is right..its not been wrong yet...i think we all know what we are feeling is true too but we try so hard to counter against it..your videos are always very honest and to the point i love that
If there's a gut feeling regarding cheating, it would be best not to expose your suspicion. If we are talking about a long relationship I suggest you should keep an eye on them. A thief would never tell you if he or she has ever stolen anything,same goes here ( pretty much) If the relationship is fresh then i suggest you just end it. Gut feeling is pretty much a warning that the person opposite you is probably not giving you all the attention and love you used to get. (less attracted to you. A 3rd wheel or possibly bored) Nonetheless save your sanity and move on
Thank you I've been with someone for 4 years and we have a child together and just recently he's been acting weird and stuff and I always accuse him and stuff and now we are working things out but I just have that feeling still and I'm just going to try to keep an eye on it for a while. I feel like I became a stalker and obsessed now. Idk. I'm tryin to back Off
when i ignore my gut feeling, it shows up as a very symbolic message in my vivid dreams... never ignore your intuition!
FAAUUUCK! I can relate to this. I had the worst nightmare of my life when I was with my Ex. The most vivid and traumatic nightmare I couldn’t even imagine. Eventually I walked away after she came clean about certain things, i appreciated her finally telling the truth, but the honesty always came too late and at points when she was defensive. I know about other things that I know she’ll never admit to. But, yea. When they wanna absolve themselves or when they just don’t care anymore they’ll tell you harsh/ and half truths to convince themselves they aren’t that bad. You’ll never get the full truth, and if you do have cold hard evidence they’ll blameshift or shut down. The hardest thing we face is the struggle to not have to know for sure to make a decision to leave. If your gut is telling you something don’t stick around for confirmation. Have faith in your intuition.
@ absolutely!!! And thank god for these dreams coming to the rescue when we are stubborn enough to ignore our intuition 😜 😂
My gut feelings have never ever been wrong......ever!
Hey
Love your wavy hair🤩.
You're so put together beautiful.... inspires me to be my best...ty!
thank you!!
True
My partner has accused me of cheating and I have always been loyal and faithful. It is so hurtful to be falsely accused and watching your love and relationship be ripped apart over it. My partner claims he feels it in his gut and intuition, this is so hard to wrap my head around, when I know my innocence 😢
Honesty is key.....x
Thank you Susan.x
You've got it, Ryan!! Hey... how are you?? How's the acting going? Loved the clip you have on your UA-cam page.
Hi Susan.
Sorry for the late reply. I really hope you're safe and well in this unusual time.
I will certainly inform you of any projects that I'm on. As things have now slowed down I'm using this time to find myself again and heal.
I want to thank you for everything you do. I dont many of us realise the hard work and dedication that goes into creating these videos alongside a busy work life. (Although this is an extension of that).
You have, and continue to help me out of mental pits I find myself in often. You're certainly my go too.
I'm in a state of healing.
When you believe, and feel you've met your 'Twin Flame' and then you're shit off from that energy and emotion... you become somewhat incomplete. As if you reached full frequency and now you will never get that back. Part of you has died.
This is my current situation...as in a very spiritual guy, I surrounded myself that ignites my energy and fills the void that were created due to the loss I feel.
I want to thank you again Susan for all you do. You are truly one of those that are making a difference in the world.... something we should all be practicing....to be better.
Stay safe.
Stay well.
I look forward to seeing more of you soon.x
Take care.
Ryan.x
Ryan Green - Actor Ryan what a lovely note. Thank you so much for that beautiful share. I’m glad to hear that I’m you’re taking care of yourself in this time of sequestering. And congratulations on bringing yourself back to the state of wholeness. The twin flame is an extremely intense relationship, and most of us wonder how we can survive it when we’re in it. I’m grateful to read at my videos are of help to you. Makes me smile. Please reach out when you need a smile yourself.
I knew it! Aaah I've tried so hard and beaten myself up because I thought I was just being insecure but also knowing that I'm not really an insecure person in general. But ugh I just knew that my ex was not really in it for me. I broke up with him telling him that something's wrong and that I think he's not ready for a serious relationship with me and he didn't even object lol.
The last sentence hit me in my stomac!
There was your gut feeling right.
A man, who does not even really starts a real deep conversation about it? Red flag into the truth.
I hope for you, you do find the right one.
Bless you
This comment hits hard! I’m generally an insecure person in relationships, but after your comment I wonder if I’ve been more insecure during the last few months because that was when my ex had started questioning if he could love me, but I was unaware of this info at the time.
And he told me I was crazy! I agree, no longer married because of his dishonesty and I have thought maybe I was crazy all of that time!
Stunning top! I loved that Susan “ do you feel safe enough to share” ahh ... vg. Good nugget. Usually our intuition is dead on. I’m not sure insecurity feels the same as a nagging feeling. Sometimes you just know, even if you don’t want to admit it to yourself. This case could be a matter of one partner more “ in “ and the other along for the now. This is where having the up front is this the kind of relationship you want going forward talk. ( But that doesn’t rule out changes of heart down the road.) Stay safe !
zenmaiden1 Great perspective. Thank you so much for the kind words and you stay safe as well
This hit home. My situation exactly. I’m not upset that it didn’t mean as much to her but I’m hurt that she didn’t have the respect for me to openly tell me that. Instead she played hot and cold games and was disrespectful until I walked away. Then she immediately moved on and poured salt in my wounds by finally being honest and confirming all my issues were true but never taking accountability for her lying to me and accusing me of being insecure throughout the relationship. I always knew she wasn’t that invested, it just hurts more knowing she didn’t even remotely consider me enough to be honest about it all. Even if she was confused. She hid it all and gaslit, and manipulated in such a way that I had to face the truth that she had zero remorse or regret for her actions.
It's so hard trying to get over someone especially when you hear from a friend they might of gotten married and has a child. Thinking too much doesn't help and fantasising about things which never happened makes it worse. Wish no one has to go through this 😭
Just think if you were meant to be with them you would be. That helps me.
Zain K I’m sorry you had to go through that. Yes I know it’s tough
@@pam164 thank you Karen 😊. If she has actually gotten married I'd likely think it's from someone in her family as I never saw her talk to a boy in college except me. She had a close friend who stuck to her all the time. I'm just wondering if she was related to her as she told me they both went to 2 weddings together. Would sound weird if you hear about two friends going to a wedding. I'm just seeing it that I'm happy she has gotten married to someone in her family and not that she was with someone else like me outside her family.
@@SusanWinter thank you Susan. Today I started feeling better but I just get this these moments of congestion in my head and just feel down again. I haven't seen her in 4 years except 2 years ago when I drove out my road and she was crossing. She had such a big smile on her face when she saw me. We both weren't open about it but it seems like decent girls in religion tend to get married within the family.
Would love to visit you in person and get your advice but sadly I live in the UK and CoronaVirus doesn't help.
@@zaink7037 You will drive your self mad thinking the what's and the ifs? if she is married and has hard as it is you have to let her go ( in your mind) that is the only way you will move on and be happy. I know ive been through a lot of men hurting me my last ex dumped me over phone after 3 years saying he had met another woman oh boy i remember just wanting to die! but 3 years later im great he did me a favour in long run, i would not have him back with bells on!! 😆 Chin up things will get better 💖
Susan I really like those colors you're wearing. Those blue sleeves are so loud. It's an interesting change of style.
I'm so glad you did this video, I have been wondering how to tell the difference, I've never been able to trust my gut feeling with regard to relationships because I always wonder if it's my insecurities talking. Thank you so much for the advice. 🤗
Aroma Healing I heard when we have a gut feeling its not that the hunch is truth, it’s there letting us know it’s worth investigating. I’m not sayin like Sherlock Holmes, no one wants that. I think it means to take a step back and observe the facts then make your determination.
Sadly, it’s almost always RIGHT! I mean you can set a clock to it.. just the way it is…
@@mrquick6775almost feels like at some point either we have to change our perceptions on what we should tolerate in a relationship or face never settling and being alone. So many of my relationships have been with ppl who are quick to minimize things I bring up only for me to later find out that it was indeed as big a deal as I made it out to be, or bigger! Lol. I keep running into ppl who punish me for calling their behavior out. It’s crazy because I can’t tell if they really can’t see what they’re doing is wrong, or they just don’t care enough to consider ppl.
You look beautiful as always. Thank you for this. I needed it 🌸
Don't underestimate the power of a woman instinct. My instinct is never wrong.
Your presence is so calming!!☺💕
Love, Courtney Thank you
How lovely you look today, Susan! Wonderful subject!
STEPHANIE!! Hi doll. Thank you.
Love my ex of 8 months, but... Told him about my gut feeling, explaining that something didn't feel right. He told me to take as much time as I needed, without discussing it. I believe he was with other people, and was just using me as a companion. He is also very codependent on one of his friends. This had a big impact on our relationship. He planned major things with this guy without telling me, such as flying out of state to attend a wedding with him of someone he didn't know, and he even went to dental appointments with him...It was baffling... I asked him if he was paying for the dental care, he gave me an unconvincing "no". The frosting on the cake is when he stood me up and blamed me. I still care for him, but my gut.... At first I thought it was just insecurity, but I don't think so anymore.
You ex was/is probably in a gay relationship with that "friend" and you were his beard.
Every year when I reflect i always learn that my instincts were always right it's a reoccurring revelation. I was in a long distance relationship 5 years ago but I ended it within few months after my first visit although on paper he is a very nice guy I had a gut feeling he had a secret relationship with a mutual friend and I even asked him but he denied it. But also because of other reasons I did not continue the relationship. However every year I go back to the country to visit family where my ex also lives, since we have mutual friends me and my ex remained friends but he would always pursue to "court" me but because of rumours escalating I would always ask him about the mutual friend yet he would deny it, but s I would make it clear to my ex I cannot commit to him because my gut just didnt feel right. This year after few years I finally was able to ask the mutual friend myself and they admitted it, I spoke to my ex about it and he was like how he was going to tell me he was just finding right time (but he had so many chances to tell me). Keep in mind this ex would always try to "court" me everytime I'd go to the country yet everytime I asked the question he would deny it. Although I never committed to him I always gave him my friendship and he always had the opportunity to tell me the truth in a calm environment.
My fellow youtubers I am so glad I never entered into anything longterm with this guy. Am I hurt? yes I am a because I saw him as a good friend and with any friend I would feel that way if they lied to me for so many years. BUT I am not broken because I never committed myself to this coward my instinct/gut feeling told me each time he tried to "court" me that he is not the right person for me. People NEVER SETTLE even if on paper the person is nice and lovely, your instinct is your sidekick and can identify things that you may not necessarily see straight away.
Thanks for sharing!
So proud of you for being courageous enough to follow through and honour yourself. I'm sure you are so proud of yourself as well. Well done! 🌸🤗🖤
It's spot on so listen to it.
i had posted something yesterday, about a friend of mine not responding to my emails. After much thought, I came to the conclusion, that it is not to find out why she is not responding in a timely manner, but more importantly, why am I reacting to it. My conclusion is that she was triggering what my ex used to do to me, that was so emotionally painful for me. As far as she is concerned, I will not reach out as much any longer. Maybe just a hey, how you doing, every now and then. I feel at peace with myself.
I know what that's like. I've had friends come and go, some people are just in your life for a season. Don't read too much into it and don't take it personally. Sometimes to know is to know that you dont know.
I always go by actions speak louder than words (always said it to him and he HATED that) so ofc when I was in a relationship I had insecurities and watched to see if he acted otherwise. He always lied about how he was acting, never matched up to what he was doing so my gut feeling from then on felt off. I'm always given a reason why he acts the way he does, but it ends up being a lie and then he admits it and it starts all over again with something else. It is bloody.... DRAINING!!!!!!
Fane Mahe exactly actions do speak louder than words.
@@Mike-xt2lh 💯!!!
What about little lies like
“I didn’t hang up on you” when he clearly did or “I didn’t see your texts” when it clearly says read???
I watched a video about how it is just relationship anxiety and how you need to stick around but then again there are very valid reasons to leave if it's extremely unhealthy. She went on to say that there is no such thing as a gut feeling which is very toxic and dangerous to tell people. You are not obligated to stick around if you feel like it's not for you and especially if they are displaying signs of unhealthy patterns and manipulation or any type of abuse.
U r the best....a gift from God. I just subscribed and your wisdom compassion brilliance and guidance is wonderful. God bless you.❤
Perfect been wondering same thing. Great timing!
She the best. Lot of experience
Would love for you to come to Australia. You content is so valuable & have shared with many friends 🙏🌟
Excellent expert advice Susan!
When we share our gut feelings we are trying to place a piece in the puzzle rather than simply looking it, and even picking it up and holding it, but never actually placing it to see if it fits.
Thank you for all you do for us Susan you are a gift to the world! Stay safe:)
Robert collins Thank you Robert and much appreciated. You stay safe as well
@@SusanWinter Your welcome :) btw my mum is called Susan too ! All the best ladies called that !
This is why I’m subscribed to you !! Great insight
Ester P Thank you Ester! I’m really happy to have you as a part of my UA-cam family
Iv felt this feeling many times in my life every time my gut feeling is correct.. and right now I feel it with me man who’s child I’m having..
As I look back first 5 sec I met people and had strange feeling of a big no.it was always right.
So insightful and experienced you seem.
Thank you 🙂
I am new here hi to Susan and every subscribers and thank you Susan
Ebrima Badjie Welcome, and so happy to have you in my UA-cam family
I had an intuition that my ex and I wouldn’t last. Seven years later, we separated. My gut was right. The problem was that we didn’t talk much especially in the later parts of the relationship.
This is a great video for people to help develop their intuition as well. Really good topic.
K P Thanks
Can't decide if it was her gut or her insecurities when she kicked me to the curb out of the blue 3 months ago. Wish she had the courage to sit me down & at least explain it all but she didn't.
It makes me think of a video you did about a year ago titled From Commitment to Non-existent. Whether gut or insecurities, I'm now feeling she ran ahead of herself & when things got real, she didn't have the skill set to deal. So she bolted. I'm finally in a place where the pain of loss is beginning to wane..
Thank you for all of your videos.
Rick Menasco Thank you for your touching note. I’m so sorry for your experience, but very happy to hear that you are on the other side of it now. Take care
@Authentic Relationships Coaching Not to defend or make excuses for her actions, she does deal with some measure of depression. You might be right to a degree but we all have a bit of narcissism in us. The video Susan put out some time ago titled They Bailed Out of the Blue was the one I was thinking about. It fits my situation perfectly and makes perfect sense. We are both widowed and in our mid sixties and had already started the conversation as to what it would look like if we were to get married in the not-so-distant future. Evidently only one of us was actually serious about it. I really do appreciate your input. Be blessed.
@Authentic Relationships Coaching .Amen to that. To me it was abandonment.
Hi Susan. Good Morning to You and All Viewers ! Very Astute Question Alex !
I know...with all my heart.....shes scared very much....there is no reason, smile and take a deep breath, God is sending someone that he made just for you.
And what about when your partner thinks his gut feeling is correct and you don't even know where that came from?? ie I was shopping with him, and when we are getting home he then asks me if I know a guy that passed by me when we were going to check out at the supermarket, cause I turned my head towards that guy and he seemed to be looking at me. The worst is I have no idea who he's talking about, I don't know if this guy is blue yellow or green, I wasn't paying attention.And... I'm new in the city I moved countries to live with him, I do not know anyone in the city...? I was shocked when he asked me that.. I feel like crying when I remember this episode.
Carla S I’m really sorry for you and for this experience if you want to talk about it just let me know- www.susanwinter.net
He’s paranoid possibly even paranoid schizophrenia!!! RUN 🏃🏾♀️ 🏃
Haven't even watched the video yet, but this is a fantastic question and one that I often have a difficult time answering.
I really needed this right now 🥰
I like this it applies to everything in my opinion, work, friends, family great video. 👍
I’m on this and I am listening to it this time
Love you Susan!
HI JB
@@SusanWinter hi! You are amazing.
I vocalised these words. All I heard is "you are overthinking"
I am left with one conclusion, "I am an ovetthinker, I am anxious"
That break my heart till this day
Susan, I love watching your videos. You always know exactly what to say. I've heard you say many times that when alarm bells go off consistently during a relationship, it's important to trust your gut. What if you had evidence in the past that your partner is not trustworthy but they claim to have changed?
For the first three months that I was seeing my boyfriend, he was still in the process of breaking things off with his ex and lied to me when I confronted him. Now that the truth is out, he claims to have changed but I'm worried that he is pandering to what will keep me around. How do I know if this is my gut instincts or if he has really changed?
Extremely interesting! Thank you ♥️
Erin Rose Thanks Erin
You can share your feelings and they willing sit there and deny what theyre doing while looking you right in the eyes, saying i love you.
Yup.
This helped me so much♥️thank you
😍
Love the shirt, pretty bright colors
the gut is not associated so much with external situation and you don't have evidence..very true.
i always regret that I couldn't listen my gut feelings from now I will follow my gut feeling
Wrong!! It’s almost always what you fear. Esp cheating..
I'm now in that situation. I feel physical symptoms the same you feel being in danger, like stomach cramps, stronger heartbeat, adrenaline shivers through all my body. I just know something's off with my date. I showed him a support and empathy telling him that I noticed he's bothered by something and that I'm open to talk about it, but he denies it telling everything's fine. However, he is becoming more and more distant. He changed the pattern of texting and communication, now he feels uncomfortable talking about deeper topics and shortly after changes it to more casual. He stopped asking me questions except the casual ones like "what's up". I'm upset because he should come to see me soon and I'm afraid he is going to flake on me, even though he said multiple times that he wants us to work out as a couple.
Any advice?
Hi dear,
Open communication is important. It's difficult to give advice solely on this comment, but if you'd like to chat privately, feel free to book a private consultation via my site: www.susanwinter.net
Any updates here?? Would love to hear how it turned out.
Ćao! Search insecure attachment styles. In fearful avoidant attachment style, a person may fear closeness and intimacy. However, they need and heavily rely on the support of others at the same time. Too many narcissists too much drama and trauma in this world just because neglecting mothers didn't change their babies diapers on time and give nurturing consistently smfh🙄
I love it. Thank you. I experience the same thing but I know now that I have alot of external factors that made me easy. I should probably just ask her sometime then and continue to trust and love truly.
Hi Susan. Thank you soooo much for your videos (from South Africa) . You are such a Gem.
Could you please make a video about moving on without an apology from your ex partner or why some people just don't have the capacity to apologize even after you have told them they have hurt you deeply. Is there a way you can make them see your perspective or is the inability to apologize a character trait that cannot be changed?
But how do you pick up the pieces without an apology when you were wronged?
Hope to hear from you soon.
It's much harder to move on without closure, but you'll have to do it for yourself. I have a feeling your ex lacks courage, and doesn't want to accept their responsibility by saying, "I'm sorry." Though it would be nice to have them say it, you don't need it to move on.
Yes. Trust your gut and your spouse might not even know it’s happening, whatever It is
Stay safe
No Susan we thankyou!
When someone is lying it isn’t
always obvious because you take people at face value.
I find later something they said or did resurfaces as odd then someone else may validate your doubt.
Omg Susan, just in time!
Cool...somthing you needed to hear today?? Hope so!
@@SusanWinter deeply, Susan :-( Can you do a video on how you can know if the person you're interested in or with can be trusted with your heart?
Love this advice
Yes, this is an excellent question
If this is the case either your gut or an insecurity that always pops up, how would you end the relationship? Especially if the person keeps denying or not understanding why or what to do to help fix your insecurities in the relationship. Tbh I dont even know if I know what a healthy relationship feels like anymore when everyone is so guarded or scared to be themselves. 😕
Hi! I'd say you never need to give a reason for why you want to end a relationship. I mean, you can tell the other person that something consistently doesn't feel right, but you don't need the other person to agree with you! Don't let someone convince you to stay when it's not what you want deep down
This resonated with me. Am I too open? Am I so starved and damaged from past relationships that I’m somehow expecting too much from ppl? I’ve never had a problem honestly expressing how I feel. Sometimes it can be somewhat overly emotional. But I noticed that I only get that way when I feel like the other person isn’t meeting me halfway or even part way to when it comes to being open and vulnerable. It takes courage to express that something bothers you. And so many ppl have a fear of vulnerability and have a need to keep the upper hand in the dynamic. I’m not asking for you to openly weep, but if your partner’s attitude is dismissive or minimizing when you express an issue then it’s not you.
Believe your gut feelings!
After a year and a half of a hell of a situation on my relationship. I have to say this
I am happy that I didn't follow my gut feeling and it worked out.
But even after this, next time im going to follow my gut feeling, because it was a fucking hell of a year and I shouldn't have put out with that shitty situation.
What a pretty dress you have on love the colours. I find my gut feeling is always right and that means meeting people and relationships.
@Beatrice Ivan Don't want him back!!!
So cool! Thank you for sharing!
Thank you
I had the strongest gut feeling the moment I met this girl that we are meant to be together. Everything about her felt perfect. It kinda still does.
Yet she got back with her ex, then I got into a love triangle. She keeps leading me on and abusing to this day.
I know this with my brain but I can't understand how I could be so wrong. I believe in every lie she tells me because the truth that she doesn't feel anything back is too hard to accept
That’s wasn’t a gut feeling it was lust!
I dated a guy for a very long time and he was extremely suspicious and accused me of cheating and going behind his back. I never did these things, and had to defend myself almost every single day. I wish me sat down and actually took that conversation. He foten sent me messages suggesting that I cheated, but obviously he coudnt proove it because it never happened. But I was drained by this experience and felt tired and mentally exhaused over having to proove myself all the time.
It happened to me too. Guys like them seem to be mentally ill - I have no other explanation.
@@carlas9723 they actually are. many are "psychotic". usually antisocial pers. Dis with psychotic features. They may also have pathological selfishness, which becomes a reactive like character flaw. they will bring u down in the process of you actually tryin to "help them", before you realize that your flustering, confusion, effort and hurt in the process is part of their "relief strategy." in this case, u have to go, andd take your empathy with you. and give all that good energy to yourself and others.
@@carlas9723 Nope, they are the ones cheating!!
Love listening to you,always a comfort,
Love you Susan! Cute shirt too 💕
My gut feeling never fails. I started only now, far too late listen to it
Hello Susan! Best regards from Canary Islands!
Wow, Pablo. How wonderful. Thanks for joining us today
@@SusanWinter You are welcome! Susan! 🤗💞🌺
For me it's all the little things. Each one seems insignificant so I'd probably be clear crazy if I talked about them. But the little things add up and eventually you get to the point of questioning your relationship.
You’re amazing!! Love your content!!
Susan you're very good with what you're saying I really do believe you do feel it from the gut
One thing not discussed in the video: When you can't trust your gut feeling because you have depression or another mental illness. For depression, it's hard to trust your gut because depression will lie to you so the part that exists from action can feed itself.
Nope! Its always right!!