Anyone else feel the tug of war of both autism and ADHD? What's your experience feel like? Tell us in the comments ⤵ it really helps to hear the unique ways we all feel this and for many of us to know we're not alone on it!
Daily. It's like constantly needing everything in your life to be systematically organized, complete and correct. And at the same time my mind being in total chaos All The Time. Which makes me anxious. Cause I can't handle chaos. Which totally exausts me. Everything you said is completely accurate. Lol
I had to stop and rewind to figure out which issue caused the ruminating. Plus, I got distracted by your purple nee-doh too. I didn’t know, in addition to having late-diagnosed ASD, I have ADHD. Ugh! I’m sixty-two years old next month. How did I get through life living with both of these issues? 😵💫
Autism L2 and ADHD most severe. Add SAD, GAD, PTSD and possibly hEDS. Still not the full list. Technically diagnosed at 53. I knew I was Autistic decades before that, but no one saw it, they did see the ADHD, but I didn't see that even though it was a huge part of the problem. It took a specialist to see the Autism, and me watching a hell of a lot of UA-cam to recognize the ADHD. Taste and smell were so bad I forced myself to get used to smoking to intentionally kill some of both senses. Especially smell. I could smell things about people around me no one ever wants to know about another person. VHS style plastics (i know most will not remember this), perfume counters. Anything like that anywhere near your store, I couldn't even come close. Hearing wasn't far behind, but I have hearing loss (9-year-olds do NOT need to be taught to use a shotgun without hearing protection) but I always had trouble hearing people speak over any other sounds. Everything else was too distracting and I could no longer focus. Still cannot get hearing doctors to understand, they see the actually quite narrow bit of loss and just write it off as that. Projects and stuff. I never had to work at most school related learning. I listened or read, and I just knew it from that point on. Physical skills took more like "normal" effort to do, as a result I am far prouder of locksmithing then my coding skills. Let's face it, even the best mental health professionals just are not yet up to the task of dealing with that level of complexity and it shows when I try and seek help. I stopped trying.
I cannot simply “stop doing something”. If it doesn’t get done, I can’t let it go and it causes immense stress and burnout if it reoccurs daily/ weekly. More of my life feels like it’s out of control. Going out to the grocery store/ mall/ doctor- there is always way too much stimulation. All the colors, smells, sights- it’s so exhausting. I get scared at nothing. The only way I could tolerate all the noise of life was through drugs. I always thought there was something wrong with me and that the anxiety would never stop. I have crazy high anxiety doing “basic” things like driving, flying on a plane, riding on a bus, being seen by others or looked at by others, being vulnerable in conversations, going to a concert/ event, attending a work meeting even on Zoom, etc. ASD/ADHD creeps into every aspect of your life! I feel like no one has understood how difficult things can be for those of us who go through this. I am seeking a diagnosis this coming week. Blessings to you, reader, may you have peace and joy ❤
Having both is like having two toddlers constantly fighting in your head with you standing in the middle begging them to get along and play nice with each other.
Not this time, because I was doing other things… earlier I spent the best part of an hour trying to watch a six minute video because I kept zoning out or falling asleep…
what exactly do you admire? my absolute constant lack of energy? even Adderall does nothing. The worst is a project I desperately want to do but simply can't for "its going to cause problems with my brain"
The push and pull of my ADHD and autistic brain sometimes cancel out into a form of paralysis. This is why I get stuck so often. So many of us, especially those who are diagnosed later in life, have a history of how others have reacted to the way our brain functions which can result in complex traumas. I'm now working on accepting how my brain works and being less hard on myself. Pre-diagnosis, I regularly tracked cause and effect (so autistic, right?) and it led to me agreeing with others that something was wrong with me. I couldn't adjust and adapt as easily as everyone else could. Many times, this dynamic was tied to judgments about me as a person. Clearly, I WAS too lazy, too aggressive, too blunt, too controlling, too loud, etc. Since I never imagined I was AuDHD, what other "excuse" was there for my "abnormal," "negative" behaviors? I'm one year post-diagnosis and I'm slowly getting better at being kind to myself. I feel that, the more I am kind to myself, the less of a trauma response I experience. It is a slow process but it is happening. When my brain is freed from the energy of the trauma responses, I feel I can be more present and make better choices. My brain is amazing and not broken. Thanks for this video. It is important that we realize we aren't alone in these experiences.
It’s really true about the shame (which can reach self hate) worsening trauma responses, which increases meltdowns, frustration, rage - and this worsens the feeling of self hate, feeding the downward spiral. Some of the time I’ve felt like there’s no good reason not to hate myself except that it makes me even harder to live with. It also makes it nearly impossible to live with myself.
@@jimwilliams3816 You’re so right. The spiral can be debilitating. Thanks for sharing your experiences. It helps so many to feel less alone. We don’t have to resign ourselves to what others put onto us.
thanks for being kind to yourself. I should try it, but I honestly don't know how. I'm trying to laugh things off instead of getting upset(usually at myself).. but its hard.
Yes, me too. I've flip flopped whether I want to get diagnosed or not, but I feel like if the opportunity presents itself that I can get diagnosed without having to pay thousands of dollars (because of course I am unemployed and poor since our society/culture/country/gov doesn't have the supports in place to help us) I will go ahead and take the test, because without it everyone judges you anyway, and at least with the certification in hand you can prove that you are neurodivergent.
I'm undiagnosed as well. My older son was diagnosed with ADHD and I realized I have a lot of qualities. Recently I've been learning about Autism and realized I have a lot of those qualities too. My younger son is probably on the spectrum, but recently I think he has both like I probably do.
Something specifically that really scrambles my brain is the spontaneity/routine conflict. If someone cancels on me last minute and my day changes, I either end up doing very little and feeling really guilty, or I do EVERY HOUSEHOLD CHORE to make up for it. And then I’m exhausted either way. Curious to know if anyone else gets this way. Thank you for this incredibly insightful video! I’m so happy to be alive at a time when people are having open conversations about ND things. I thought something was just kind of wrong with me for a long time and it’s a big relief to know that isn’t the case.
Yes. I still don't know how to explain this. Part of me loves having plans and routines. Part of me can not tolerate the thought of having to do anything at a particular time or in a particular place. There is no pattern to what goes into which category. I've generally learned to compromise: I wind up with long lists of things that need to be doe at no particular time. Mostly it works. Unless one of those things is picking up my daughter from work. She schedules her day in, like, three minute time blocks, and her day is ruined if she is either dropped off at work 1 minute too early, or picked up 3 minutes too late. We try to make it work, although I tend to not really notice time periods of less than an hour. And yes, I, too, call it "Guilt Cleaning". It's not because I've done anything wrong, it's the overwhelming and irrational feeling that every single thing in the universe that needs to be done that hasn't been done is my fault and all of space-time will collapse unless the last piece of laundry is folded and put away. Thankfully my wife keeps trying to tell me it isn't true, and it's OK to sleep, and the dishes will still be there tomorrow, but it's a hard sell.
Spontaneity vs routine is why I didn't think I had ASD for so many years. One conflict in that area is not being able to set my own routines, but doing so much better when others do it for me. But, then resentment about their authority over me builds until either exploring or imploding.
Haha… usually I only have the second example. Feel like I got free time and see all the things I can fill up. But I also recognise the feeling of paralysis when plans changes. I’m not diagnosed with either of asd or adhd, but probably have adhd.
@jayotto1628 you're not alone. This internal conflict is one of the most exhausting symptoms of having both. I never understood it before. How I can crave socializing and at the same time not want to be around people has always perplexed me. I do the same thing too. If plans change I feel a sense of doom and must either fill my day with overexertion or do nothing at all in a state of paralysis.
#4 ..saw a shrink for anxiety and he was talking about the noise from the fan being tuned out, and I replied “no it’s not, I hear it like I hear you. I hear the reception staff working in the front. I feel the seat under me, my feet in my shoes. I don’t tune anything out, my brain doesn’t do that.” He said that’s really interesting and sent me on with my script.
Yes, if you don't fit the mold, they just medicate. Been there. In fact, my last shrink told me the same crap and I screamed at him that that's what I'm trying to stop.
@@jacquimoore5967 eek..yeah..was 30 at the time and just learning that level of awareness to all things stimuli wasn’t what everyone experiences, kinda sucks if I try to get with a guy who’s a “petter”…stop touching me..please I beg you. Hypersensitivity is ass
I have struggled with sleep ALL my life and one thing no one but other autistic people seems to understand is that I MUST have white noise close to the bed (fan, radio on low, whatever) or else my brain will not let me sleep because NOTHING gets filtered out: the icemaker downstairs making ice in the freezer, cars going by outside, cats walking around inside the house (yes I can hear cats walking), the wind, the faint sound of the neighbor's TV, airplanes going by overhead, whatever.
Even though I’ve already gone through similar things with ADHD and Autism separately, this was the first time that I think I heard somebody else with both explain in it in that way where I was like, “Yes! That! Me too!” and like finally hearing somebody else describe dealing with the same struggle I do.
Same!!!! So good and validating!!! I remember when I got my autism diagnosis ( as adult like so many of my generation ), and then went into deep study of it ( ha! So typical! It became my very intense SI for couple of years ), and joined forums...and some were quick to judge me as possibly having gotten wrong diagnosis, cos my ADHD made me more impulsive and possibly also more social. 🤔 I didn't fit into the box, that some of the forum members seemed to demand in order to be "one of them". Made me angry and disappointed. ADHD symptoms were recognisable to my neurologist ( who is also psychiatrist ), but she said that if I got the official diagnosis of ADHD too, it would do more harm than good for me in the country where I live now. But oh my, it's so great to hear from others who have the combo as well! Makes it so much more challenging to rest, and to find the right balance between sensory friendly, reliable ( like f.e. strict routines.... they do help me many times... ) environment, and not too boring at the same time...the exhaustion is real...
Thank you. I've never seen someone so perfectly describe the chaos of desperately wanting to finish all those projects while simultaneously being unable to finish said projects, causing intense daily mental suffering. Subscribed!
I love going off to the coffee shop to work on something or read. A new coffee shop is even better. Something fun about the people watching, the interaction, the coffee smells, the variety. Then, after a bit, people start to annoy me. It gets too loud or the dishes are clattering, or someone is on their phone. People bump into you in line or bump in to your table. The table is wobbly or at a weird height. I'm hearing every conversation even if I don't want to. And then I start wishing I had stayed home where I can concentrate. A couple days later, I do it all over again.
Everyone has a tolerance level for peopleing stressors. It takes intense physiological effort for your brain to do the filtering of all the things simultaneously. At some point the brain can't keep up and suddenly all the things that were being filtered out exist, much to our chagrin. 😫 Then it's time to gtfo because it's not going to get better from there. The peopleing battery requires recharging!! 😅
This is me but in Libraries XD especially hard when I have no isolated area to sit in and have to sit opposite someone because then I feel like they’re noticing my fidgetiness and I get very tense and freeze up and can’t concentrate so I just leave abruptly.
My son is AuADHD (16) we homeschool so we love it when kids go back to school because the stores are empty. We have also learned that walking the dogs after dark is very sensory friendly. As a mom in the hustle of the culture he has taught me to slow down and live in a smaller space. It isn’t less, we have expanded our views. It’s like we were running on land and now we are scuba diving with him. It’s different, not less.
As a teacher, and one with ASD, I am VERY much aware of my students who have ASD or ADHD. There are a number of similarities but if you know, you know. I adjust my lessons accordingly.
@@LimitedWish: Your students are lucky to have you! When I was in school in the 1960s-early 70s, the medical community didn’t even think that GIRLS could BE ADD’ers! I am extremely MATH-challenged, so those classes were literally painfully humiliating-which I wouldn’t wish on anyone! Thanks again for your honesty and openness with your students.
It makes my heart warm to hear of you teachers with autism/adhd ❤it makes so much sense to help children/adults with autism/adhd when you are life experienced in it ❤
@@LimitedWish EXACTLY! I usually have the gifted and those not-so-gifted so the range is immense. It helps promote acceptance as well, to talk openly about it, imo. We learn about each other and that encourages empathy.
A phrase that makes my skin crawl is "falling through the cracks". I heard this phrase applied to me SO much growing up. Then I was diagnosed with the totally useless lable, PDD-NOS, the NOS standing for "not otherwise specified". EH!! Now that I'm more accurately diagnosed as ADHD and ASD it all makes much more sense and I feel like I finally fit in SOMEWHERE!
@@dja192 pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified - it was basically a label used for children who didn't quite meet the criteria for either asperger's *or* autistic disorder (the other end of the spectrum).
Wow, that's annoying, I am thankful there's so much new info from actual people and not some stuck up pseudo scientists, cause that phrase definitely counts for me. Hope you have all the deserved help now😊
That explanation of the hyper one minute then zoning out the next in social situations resonates with me SO MUCH! I feel like in social situations I sort of black out and am this super chatty, hyperactive talker and it's like the automatic mask that comes over me. It's like being behind a glass shield that does the "neurotypical socialization" for me. Then some sort of overt sensory stimuli might happen to knock me out of it or something and I sort of come back to reality and I get anxious. And like you said, I'm happy to get home and then my brain ruminates on all the stuff I might have said in my "blackout state". It's super strange and I've only just realized that this happens to me. I've got an ADHD diagnosis and going in September to be tested for Autism cause both seem to fit, but neither feels like the full picture. I REALLY appreciate these videos from your perspective as an AuDHDer! Thanks for all you and Debby do, it has helped me so much!
Same! I was telling a friend recently after her party and feeling like I blew it socially, "I feel like an alien cosplaying as a human a lot of the time." Like I know what you're supposed to do but I've got to consciously play the part. It doesn't come naturally.
Oh I hear you!!!! 😮 I need hours and hours and hours before I can sleep, so meeting people until late, keeps me awake until morning hours, or worse, sometimes even 24 hours or more, depending ! 😩 With physical health problems it's even worse, cos then I am so "out of order" the next day, or get migraine on top of it, etc etc ... Difficult! I try to meet people one-on-one at my home or peaceful environment, then it works the best. Parties? I stopped torturing myself and gave them up ages ago! Lost a few "friends" for it, but I am not sad about it, anymore. I anyway often had the feeling, that for many I only had some "curiosity" value, and nothing more. But I rather be alone than harm myself by doing things that exhaust me with people who eventually don't really care about me... Still having only few friends, but hopefully finding more in the future.
Yes! This is me!! I now realise I am so very likely AuADHD, too, as a result of this video, as I resonate so highly with every single one of these points.
That is the story of my life... Never been diagnosed with ASD nor my clearly HFA mom and sister and HER sister. But my cousin and my child have ASD. I think I'm on the borderline of ASD. Spent childhood memorizing topics like EVERY dog breed that existed, EVERY bird call, EVERY type of tree, and developing uses for my then-photographic memory. Now it's me, my 20 yr old, two cats, and our GOBS & GOBS of deep dives into our special interests. In other words... an apartment filled to the brim with stuff we just HAVE to collect, lol.
The way you explained the projects taking on too many, getting overwhelmed then not managing to finish any is literally my life and I finally understand why I do it. Thank you
I had to paint my shower room ceiling so that's half done. I'm also filling many holes in my wall which were left when the boiler was moved. I "finished" laying laminate flooring in my lounge but not the edging strips. That's been waiting 3 years as I can't figure out how to fill the big gaps that the strips won't cover... Then there's the kitchen tiles that are around 1/2 completed but I'm bored of it now. My bathroom is literally 99% finished. I just keep forgetting it until I'm cleaning my teeth for bed.
I really wish this condition could be diagnosed more conclusively, sometimes when you say “I’m on the spectrum or I have adhd”, some people just roll their eyes, but they wouldn’t roll their eyes if someone was blind or in a wheelchair, because the condition is obvious to them. I’m sure one day modern medicine will catch up.
My one and only friend has asked me if I’ve ever had diagnosed with ADHD because I talk about it affects me. I was offended. Did she think that I just made this stuff up? I’m hoping to see a neurologist soon to be tested for autism. I’m 70 years old.
@@MyGrandchildernareSpecialYou are absolutely valid!! Your struggles are real, regardless of whether anyone *gets* you! I want you to know that you deserve to be respected for who you are, and for your very real life experiences. And you deserve to be heard out and listened to and appreciated for who you are. I don't know you, but I love you, and I hope you have an awesome life friend 🤗🫶
Being in a wheelchair isn't a diagnosis. And I can tell you from experience not everyone takes one as seriously as you make it sound. This comparison did not help me to understand you
@@MyGrandchildernareSpecial My comment didn't show up for some reason. I hope you can see this. I just want you to know that you are valid, no matter if anyone "validates" you or not!!
@@Lucky9_9 Thank you so much. Life is hard for everyone. It helps that comfort and understanding comes from a stranger through the internet. As humans we need to be kind and love one other. When my mother was dying that’s what she said God had told her. Be kind and love one another.
This is relatable. I struggle with this pull all the time. Getting started and finishing tasks are so difficult for me. And energy management is difficult too. I get so frustrated that I have so many big ideas and can’t seem to go anywhere with them, and I see so many people around me succeeding and I know I could too, if I could only just focus. And I need so much time to rest from masking and sensory overwhelm that when I do have energy and time to focus on my own creative projects, I don’t know where to start. It’s all so overwhelming and frustrating. I could go on, but I’ll leave it there for now. Thanks for sharing.
Agreed! I get so many ideas for things but have a hard time starting, and for the ones that do get started I don’t finish. I can already see the process like he said, but have a hard time managing and doing it no matter how badly I want it. It feels like a jack of all trades in knowledge but no physical showing of that knowledge.
That's me as well. Extremely frustrating. I feel like I can't handle things, and when I DO feel I can handle things, I get overwhelmed because of all the things I want to handle. Then rinse and repeat.
We need to make a country, small island, of exclusively AUDHD people. Either nothing will get done, or everything will be utopian. It’d certainly be quiet, and peaceful - but fun and interesting at the same time. I could only imagine the little collections of trinkets and gadgets, all the special interests and focuses of passion that’d be present in every household. It would certainly be a cool project. Thanks for this video, man. You really are a good representative of people like us. It’s hard living life with this shit in your head, but were beautifully unique. Talented, too, and can use our “special brains” to do great things. Every autistic/adhd person I’ve ever met has always been so down-to-earth and generally intelligent.
You know what? I stop the video, because I have to say "what a beautiful moment "for us"... that people of our "species" are speaking loud and clear... And that we can understand each other. I suspect many of us have been very alone and ignorant of the validity of our difference. It’s only the beginning, but it’s so valuable. I think I also have ADHD, in addition to ASD... And now, I return to the video ;)
It's super important to feel "seen" and for so many of us that's been an impossible challenge to surmount. It feels incredibly validating to not only find out what makes me the way I am, but to hear and see other people going through the same thing and supporting others like us. Gotta stick together and help each other progress because there's still not many people out there who understand us or are able to help us.
@@blindmownindeed! Now I wonder, if there's some forums that understand both autism and ADHD? I got diagnosed as an adult, and found out ( to my great disappointment ), that in many ways I didn't "fit" in with only autistic, nor ADHD groups...some even doubting my autism diagnosis, which feels terrible when I had just finally understood what was "wrong" with me since childhood...Now I would love to "meet" more AuDHD people, and hopefully make new friends too, who "get" the special challenges of having autism AND ADHD... Would make some communication so much easier, I guess.
I’ve never been diagnosed with either. People with ASD and ADHD tell me I have both. I listen to you story and it’s like you are telling part of my story.
That’s always the feeling. That’s how it felt when I was diagnosed with ADHD, and it’s how it’s been feeling for the last year as I discover more of my ASD.
I’m feeling so naked right now that I’m on the verge of crying. You’ve described me without those masks keeping (hiding) the chaos and overwhelm inside. When you put it that way, what a raw, naked mess I seem. But I have always known that, haven’t I? I just haven’t wanted anyone else to know. (I am, however, relieved that it’s not just me.)
@@Lyandra01 wow same! i even play some vids with really slow narrators on 2X speed haha, its like when they talk slow while my mind is treating too fast the informations, i think more in between phrases and my mind drifts and i get disengaged
@@meriemcullen8510 Exactly! I lose track of what they’re saying if there’s too much time between their words or sentences. I rarely go above 1.75, though, because a lot of videos have background music that can become painful if played too fast. 😅
I have told many people, "You can keep talking, I just can't keep listening." The reactions I got from this statement almost always led to my confusion and then apologizing for letting someone know I couldn't follow the conversation any more. I still don't quite understand, but I know to only say this to my kids. Everyone else just gets to keep going until they get mad that I'm not paying attention any more. No matter what, it's wrong and it's my fault. This to what both look like. to me
Its the words you've chose. It sounds like an "idc shush". If you said something empathetic like: "I dont have the capacity to continue listening to u right now. I am sorry. Can we talk about this later (schedule it)?" Or, if uninterested: "I see your excitement and passion and I am happy for you...The thing is that I, unfortunately, am not as invested in this as you. You mind switching topics?" Basic respect for people's feelings and politeness go a long way
@@Pieza_De_Queso That's a lot of words and they don't hear the nuiance. I've tried all of that. Doesn't change anything. Once someone has taken something personally they can't really listen either. Obviously it's not a "shush", because there was an invitation to continue to talk. One of my kids wanted to talk to avoid falling asleep. There are reasons for why everyone does everything. They just aren't always the same reasons. If someone says they can't do something, believe them. Why do they need to explain? The issue is continuing to pay attention is a struggle for some which others have never truly experienced.
@@pamlindquist2861 I highly disagree. You ordered your point in a very "all or nothing" manner when, apparently, what you had in mind was a very specific situation. Also, people need to explain because this is how we mostly understand each other as humans: through body and verbal language. I get it might be more dfficult for those with autism (I have ADHD and high abilities/giftedness, not autism), but its crucial for social interactions. Makes little to no sense to simyply accept stuff without any questions, it goes against the curious human nature. We do question everything, especially whats related to the ones close to us. And I believe NT people struggle to pay attention sometimes, as many factors can cause this. It's just not a regular issue to them. Some NT individuals lack empathy towards ND insividuals, of course, but expecting people to simply accept statements or actions that are considered rude in their culture is unrealistic and not empathetic as well.
I have a dx for ADHD but I was pretty sure it didn't explain all of the things I have experienced throughout my whole life till now. the more I watch and relate to AuDHDers the brighter the lightbulb gets for me, and every single time it's like, hey you're literally just describing my life it's crazy..
I whined about a video with music several months ago. You were super nice about it. I've been here ever since. I've been diagnosed with ADHD by a few therapists and doctors but there were still some big holes in my story. In the last two years, I've been thinking that ASD filled in some gaps, kind of like contextual spackle, if you will. I'm convinced now. The struggle between the two often paralyzes my decision making. I CONFUSE ME and that's tiring. Thank you for the great videos (and for the lack of music). I'm probably a minority but I appreciate it greatly. I learned several months ago that I have serious auditory issues.
Childhood (or other) trauma can also be a crazy variable to consider. I have all three... and I suspect most people with either neurological profile do as well.
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again but it's just so hard to source out here
I’ve been researching on psychedelics and it’s benefits to individuals dealing with Anxiety, Depression, ADHD and from my findings, they really work and I’ve been eager to get some for a while but its been difficult to get my hands on them.
The Trips I've been having really helped me a lot. I’m now able to meditate and I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
@@AlbertoTorres894 I feel the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels. I am also glad to be a part of this community.
I work for a company that helps to assess and diagnose ADHD and Autism and while working there and helping with patients a lot of things started to make sense with me. This video made so much sense and was very relatable. My partner has ADHD and Autism as well and a lot of this reminded me of him too. The part which made the most sense was the exhaustion with the 2 sides pulling. I have long covid which creates its own issues with fatigue and exhaustion but my boss sat me down a few weeks ago to sort out my referral for an ADHD assessment (which I procrastinated for 7 months, very ADHD I know) because she thought that the undiagnosed and unsupported ADHD was probably making the fatigue a lot worse which was making me unwell and burnt out. I honestly can’t thank my boss enough for doing that because I know I would’ve just kept pushing it back without her and watching this video really highlighted how much I probably need those assessments right now to help me.
Gosh all these points hit right home. I got diagnosed with both ADHD (inattentive type) and Autism a few weeks ago. I am well in my twenties. I struggle with so much stuff, because sometimes it just feels to have the bad sides of both autism and ADHD combined, which makes the simplest tasks, just the biggest mountains for me. I wanna have a routine, I need routine. If I do not have routine, I will either forget things because of my grated cheese brain or I will not get anything done. On the other hand, I get so extremely bored with routine and doing the same things over and over again, that I wanna start new things. Go to the store to buy whatever I absolutely do no need and let it rot somewhere in my house. It is just so frustrating sometimes.
Im 34, and my son has been diagnosed with asd and adhd. This describes me to a tee. Discovering this about myself is like a.light shining on me. I thought i was broken for the longest time
This video is over the fence to the seats at 420 feet. A homerun. I am 74 and discovered I am autistic about fifteen years ago. Made a lot of sense. And in just the past month after not being able to finish deep dive projects, I was informed I am also ADHD. Why I never knew this before or was not ever diagnosed is a mystery. But I do know all this psychological knowledge in decades and decades ago was non-existent. I must have been in my thirties before I even heard of autism. But somehow, in some way, I was able to finish a Ph.D. Now that is very much a mystery given I can in my declining years rarely finish projects and use equipment I have purchased. Oh well. Thank you so very much. :)
On very late diagnosis, I’ll say this...I had to take care of my father very late in his life, and having a diagnosis would have been helpful to him in some ways. I only sort of suspected both him and me at the time, and if I had been clear about it I hope I would have avoided some pretty big mistakes I made. The penny started to drop when he was in the hospital, which was very autism unfriendly, and while I advocated then for the right things, being able to point tia diagnosis might have made them pay better attention. And finally, while his mind was going, both I and various caregivers assumed some things that were autistic distress to be part of the developing dementia. I only ended up with an AuDHD diagnosis (among others) because I started deteriorating myself from overwhelm and stress. It’s worth being aware that, while many of us have managed to trudge through adulthood, old age has ways of increasing autistic distress. I’ve now encountered a lot of people online who, like me, started struggling more in their late fifties and later.
@@jimwilliams3816 and that’s the only reason I’m considering it. My abilities to function in a social work setting, having been forced back into the office, and in an advanced role in my career feel like they’re slipping away. Also, as someone who _has_ been tested for cognitive abilities multiple times in my life, I’ll be the first to say IQ tests are a sketch, not the whole mural, and I’m struggling to bring my thoughts to bear more and more. It’s a focus and energy problem, but it’s really got me doubting myself.
@@jimwilliams3816 also, I’m glad you were able to advocate for your father. I’m with mine now after getting a diagnosis of late stage leukemia. Much love to you and yours.
I am AUDHD and suffering a burnout. I lost my mom a bit over a year ago. I handled her estate and cleaned out her place on my own. My family did not help. It was a slow roll to burnout. Thank you for your videos. This one was quite relatable. 😊
Sorry you lost your mom and had to handle all that by yourself without your family to help. It sounds like a lot of physical exhaustion, feelings of heaviness, and time to ruminate. I hope you are able to bounce back from the burnout and self appreciate all that you were able to do 😊
Difference to mention for point number 1: my brother is ADHD and I am AuDHD. We both struggled in school to make friends as kids, but he could easily approach kids on a random playground and make temporary playground friendships with them where I absolutely 100% couldn't. Similar from a professional standpoint, yet very very different from my perspective. Even now he knows how to schmooze and succeed on a shallow level which gets him far, yet I can't even get a positive result from an interview without prior help from an acquaintance
I have ADHD ANXIETY DEPRESSION and let me tell you guys it’s fucking exhausting beyond disbelief. I’m currently in the process of getting medicated but I hope that I get well soon because if I don’t I see myself giving up.
LOL! People ask me, in a concerned tone, Why are you upset?!? I tell them, I'm not. I'm just thinking. (BTW, I'm just ASD not both, but this all sounds so familiar). I also endlessly replay social interactions, and my perfectionism kicks in and I'm sure I must have said something stupid or wrong or I said more than I should. Sighhh(or should I say shyyyy) hehehe
The catch phrase of my youth was "are you okay?!" As an adult, I can appreciate how concerned my classmates were for me. As an angsty middle schooler... not so much 😂
I knew I had combined especially after I was diagnosed with ADHD. I just felt like something else was off. Everything you talked about nailed it for how I work and function. That last part about being tired all the time, I never knew that was something caused by my mental state until I started meds. It was wild.
@@Christina.N. I went through several types of meds, at least half a dozen, before I landed on the one I have now. Vyvanse seems to work really well for a lot of people and it's now on generics so it can be bought much cheaper.
For everyone struggling to find a good stim. Try to sift sand. Its really great for me, so give it a try. If you have kids with a sandbox, it even has a real purpose.
As someone who got my formal diagnosis of ASD last year, I'm finding it EXTREMELY DIFFICULT to find a medical provider who will accept me that I have ADHD which in the US helps with the open possiblity to drugs like Vyvanse. I'm just so frustrated because no matter how much I try to stabilize myself between the ASD and ADHD parts of my life and brain, work on what I can, I feel that I'm being prevented and blocked from medical intervention and accessibility to these medications that would also help me further. I even had a doctor who concluded that I was OVER DIAGNOSED and didn't think I was ASD, neglecting the idea that I didn't struggle with ADHD entirely. EVERYTHING you listed off in this video and every video you make is identical to what I go through as an AuDHD'er 😥 I absolutely HATE how there isnt any consistency with healthcare in general.
Same here. Had to opt for natura remedies, chewing a couple seeds of nigella sativa proved so efficient helping me fall asleep - which led to a better quality sleep- therefore didn’t have anxiety or issues getting myself started the next morning… not the best but it helped calm me down. Read about it there are plenty of studies
Ok. Thanks to your explanations I can feel in my bones I have both. Fun! I've often wondered why I switch gears from routine and plans to spontaneity. Its like being oppositional-defiant to myself. LOL. The NT community seems to put this all interns of self sabotage and I have been pooping on myself for decades because of it. To know that's its just my thing is such a relief. I do take lamictal and it has immensely helped the loopy looping thoughts. immensely. Thanks for being a mirror and helping to normalize these actions.
It's so interesting, I was on Lamotrigine (Lamictal) for 10 years while I was misdiagnosed as being bipolar. Now that I've been off of it for a year and a half, it's only now that I've been looking more into ADHD (have the diagnosis) and Autism because it feels like the world has been turned up to 11 and I'm so overwhelmed. May I ask, were you given that medication for a neurodivergent condition? Or is it just a lucky side effect and you take it for something else?
@@akaymac1 I was first given it over a decade ago. I had an incorrect diagnosis of "rapid cycling bi-polar". I found it helpful. When my diagnosis then changed to CPTSD, I went off of it with my dr.'s help and used other methods like meditation, breath work, etc. Recently went on it again and then got an AUD(and I think ADHD may be added )diagnosis.I find it so helpful in stopping my thoughts from completely freaking out and taking off. I do still get upset appropriately but my thoughts dont churn unendingly any more. I wish there was a more natural equivalent but I have yet to find one.
@@JenniferKastelic This is super helpful to know! Thank you for sharing it with me! I'm in that boat of struggling to function with bad anxiety (from AuDHD I think...getting testing soon) and they want to put me on an SSRI, but my stomach can't tolerate them. So far therapy hasn't been super helpful in terms of managing the anxiety so it's made me question going back on a low dose of Lamotrigine (even though that had negative side effects for me too). If I can ask, did you get put on the same dosage you were on previously?
@@akaymac1 I dont remember but now I take 25 mg in the morning and 50mg at night. Its one of the few meds that I have had no side effects from and I am grateful.
I was told for a long time that I couldn't have both that I'm either autistic it ADHD and that I must be faking if I think I have both. This video is so validating and actually explains so much.
Resonate with what you said way too much. Frustrating and exhausting. Don’t like being either, it’s such a burnout which is even more frustrating and exhausting. Stretched thin.
Yes! Debby has said often that she wonders if having the combination leads to more frequent meltdowns and also burnout because a lot of the time, I might put myself in the situation because of my ADHD brain thinking I can handle something. It's like it tricks me! And then I get out and I'm so quickly overloaded. Sometimes I even think, "Was this my idea? It couldn't have been..." and then the exhaustion sometimes for days after...and then the cycle repeats 😅 really working to do this less for myself as I'm learning more about my needs, but being stretched thin is a very accurate way to describe it. I'm planning to make more videos about this topic in the future because it's a really challenge and I think many AuDHDers don't give ourselves enough credit for managing the battle happening in our brains all the time. Hope you can find ways to balance this out for yourself too. Have you found anything that works?
@@ChrisandDebby reading bible, try to let things go and try not to over extend by slowing down but still get lost in a moment. Seasons cycle. Just keep on cycling and we’ll make the mountain and coast down in the valley to cycle up the next mountain.
It feels good to hear someone explaining exactly what you feel and what yout going through cause in real life it's frustrating Evry time trying to explain your self and what your going through and in the end no one understand and the worse thing is when they take it as a joke
I'm also both... I just got to a point where I'm trying to kinda have a schedule but also not... I'm literally just riding the waves, when they come. Sometimes I'm too exhausted. But I also zone in and out. But as soon as a topic bores me... I zone out. It's alota ups and downs in one day. But I'm kinda making peace with it. Been so exhausted past few weeks and just do the best I can. I feel more at peace accepting that I'm gonna probably fall around from the one brain operating station to the other more than I'd like. That helps a great deal to not beat myself down. I'm embracing who I am but still trying to develop and grow in new ways and not doom myself. It really is challenging. But it's also freeing to not put such extreme expectations on myself as I usually did. I'm feeling whatever I feel and just living through all the emotions might look very weird to people on outside. But, I dont care anymore. My life is less boring just experiencing everything life has to offer daily. It's definitely push ND pull. Release from tension also.. 😂 Platue also.. It's a bit chaotic I guess. And thats okay. Not perfect at all. Growing daily ❤
Sometimes it's interesting living in the zone where autistic pattern recognition collides with adhd hyperactivity. I don't have a schedule, but I do have a pattern and a plan. But it is completely non-verbal, so I literally can not explain it to anyone. If forced to, I can put together a 20 page essay explaining some of the significant factors and how they fit together and the multiple interconnections that make it so that what seems to others as "the most important thing" actually needs to be done after 27 other things (you know, like how in order to build a new wall, you have to tear down the old wall first?). But, if forced to, by the time I'm done with the 20 page essay it will be completely out of date, inaccurate, and will have used up all the time and energy I had to do any of the things, so it's not a useful exercise. One thing I've learned, is trust the pattern recognition.. but listen to others too, because other perspectives are often valuable.
I found out I have both after working with Ayahuasca for years, it's a powerful realization that I am still learning to manage. First it was the ADHD and then the Autism. When you drink Ayahuasca you see the ADHD as a black hole in your head just shooting thoughts at you randomly, you also notice the super fast thinking among other things, constant acceleration, while the Autism feels like this pristine creativity but also extra sensitivity and rigidity. I would say one of the things that helped me the most was also a friend reinforcing this idea when I bring it up to him. Turns out he was in the same journey of discovery and we both now know we are AuDHD.
It’s really weird hearing someone so specifically describe what it’s like in my brain. But I’m very happy to know there is an actual reason my brain is like this. Thank you.
You know what puzzles me. NT people of average intelligence who can focus on things and be organized and did well in school, who either did not strive for higher education (even if they had the brains and the money) and also never started a company or wrote a book or started a UA-cam channel or worked on a hobby. They watch tv and kittens on UA-cam and like to go out with friends and that's all they do. Even if they have more ability to do more than us. It is almost painful to have Autism and ADHD where there is so much ambition and drive and great ideas, but barriers to getting it done, seeing intelligent NT people with social and organizational skills doing nothing.
I also have mild AuADHD and wondered the same thing. Then i realized i should stop caring bout people's businesses because my concept of success and happiness might be different than theirs. Just because they could doesn't mean that they should :)
It’s because they’re already satisfied/content with life and they just want to enjoy it in the ways that appeal to them. They don’t feel the need to strive for more, they’re just happy with their relationships and life in general.
NTs are absolutely not a monolith of people who've got it all figured out. Nearly everyone would love to do the things you mentioned, but they have their own barriers. Their barriers are just different from ours. The reason why Jim didn't seek higher education despite having the intellect, organizational skills, and the money, could've been due to the fact that his high acheivment in grade school actually kept him burned out throughout his teen years, despite the fact he appeared so organized on the outside. He doesn't want to go through that intense struggle again in colllege and waste is early 20s to stress. He'd rather work in his friend's plumbing business to keep a comfortable environment in his head until he figures out his true goals in life. Sarah watches UA-cam videos of kittens everyday because it's one of the few things that recharge her after interacting with people all day at her demanding job. She relates to cats in a way. Maybe she's not neurodivergent, but she's still an introvert with a battery. Lee hangs out with his friends nearly every chance he gets when he is able. He and his friends like to share thoughts on books they've read, and he is in the process of writing his own book. He hangs with friends so much, because those same friends made him see the value in that life is worth living even though his depression is so severe sometimes that he can only get out of bed to use the bathroom. He was supposed to finish his book a long time ago, but he's still doing his best and is slowly reaching his goal of completing it. Bianca was always very organized and known for being smart. She got straight As and worked long hours? How?? School and work were her safe havens from the abuse she endured at home, so anything was better than "home." Her exquisite organizational skills and generous amounts of income she brought in during her teen years allowed her to land herself a decent apartment as soon as she turned 18. But now, she can't help but eat and watch TV all day. It distracts her from the nightmares she calls memories. She doesn't understand why she can't continue to work to escape the trauma like she used to, but she knows she needs to work, but her intense anxiety tells her the safest place to be is in her apartment. That's where abuse doesn't exist, but her money is slowly running out, and she might not be able to afford the apartment soon.
Great video, yeah that constant pull can be exhausting. One thing I find helpful is to do the minimum necessary to appease the adhd side without overwhelming the asd… if I feel like being out in the world: going on a walk or to the library instead of a family party etc. Also, idk if you know the poem To an Isle in the Water by W.B. Yeats. I think you’d like it because he writes “shy” in it a lot.
I hate it when my brain wanders off during a meeting or at parties when I realize I’ve been sitting quietly in my head instead of interacting with people for who knows how long.
I'm so glad I found your channel. My ex wife told me about 4 years ago that she thought I was on the spectrum but after researching through more main stream sites I decided although similar it must be just my ADHD. But seeing this now through other autistics and ADHD eyes it's more than obvious. I can see how exactly why I learned to mask. My parents would leave home when they went to visit with other relatives and they were very embarrassed of my rocking. I would rock in bed, rocking chair and in the car. And I was always alone and although I had one close that friend by high school I didn't any friends. But if course that's just the tip of the iceberg. At 63 y.o. and alone but I do pretty good by myself considering only ex wife shows up to bring me groceries when I run out of food or place looks like a cyclone came through the house because which overwhelms me. Virtually everything that you mentioned here is a duplicate of what I go through. There's been only two things that I don't do which is the stuffed animals and I like to be rubbed lightly. But it has to be a certain way or it likes finger nails on a chalk board and irritates me. And if it's done right its similar to the rocking chair. It just soothes my mind. This all said I think the number one way that I have always stimmed Is in a rocking chair and I haven't had one in 3 years since I moved to this place I'm in and my ex-wife is working on getting me one. Thanks to your site and a few others hopefully I can talk the insurance company into doing the testing they said they only have funding for somebody under 21 which I think is discrimination. And it may seem like an odd thing but I need that rocking chair because it will help me function or at least alleviate the tension I feel inside me. Oh, and I should be thanking you so I will but to tell you the truth I forget formalities all the time especially when I write a book like this because I think, who would take this much time to explain themselves if they weren't grateful😂
That having too many projects and not finishing them is something I struggle with. I learned the roomba method of cleaning a while ago, where you just wander around cleaning as you go, and it works. I've started applying that to projects. Just work on a project till you're distracted by another, then when the original project comes around again, you return to it and pick it up again. No judgment, no worries about why it's not done, just... get to it when you get to it. I'm getting somewhere slowly with this approach.
I especially relate to struggling with group conversations. The combination of not being able to filter out sounds and deep diving into a particular subject when I hear anything interesting makes it impossible to follow the eb and flow of normal group conversations. To counter that I naturally grew a very unique sense of humour and I tend to drive the group dynamic by putting on a show. If I can't, I disappear in the background and pretend I'm doing something more important than participating in the group.
Isn't it amazing how the people who complain the loudest about being interrupted are the same people who never leave a gap for anyone else to say anything?
Thank you so much for this video. I have ADHD and I understand what that is like. My daughter has both ASD and severe ADHD and your video really helps me understand her better. The things you said really hit home with some of her behavior and struggles... also, I never considered how the two different diagnoses could be so at odds with each other in many ways and it makes a lot of sense. I really felt the "light go on" with many of the things you shared.
Fantastic communication, Chris. I'm still learning about what the combo entails and I REALLY appreciate your calling out the exact biology class smell that caused me to get an incomplete in that class! The tug of war is real so I just need to get these two aspects of myself to do some creative and positive collaboration; hopefully, that's possible! Thank you thank you thank you.
Making beautiful bullet journal type planners with drawings and colours and schedules and goals and trackers all thought out in great detail.. only to throw it out the window 2 weeks later because it got boring/overwhelming 😅
I really enjoyed this video. I love his humor. I think I may have both also. So much resonates with me. Sometimes just transitioning out of bed on the a.m. is difficult and I have to force myself to get up because my bladder is about to bust from holding it. 😂 I also get really anxious when I realize I don’t even know where to start on the next step in the project or when I don’t understand something.
Me: I can't have ASD, I don't hyper focus on anything. Reality: Since I completed grad school December 2015 (yay!), I have been reading multiple books daily (as in, read as many as I can possibly jam within 24 hours before doing it all over again the next day), until I got COVID again about 2 months ago and decided I needed a break and now I've become just as hooked (pun intended) on crocheting. Me: I don't have issues with transitions, either. Reality: Mornings all my life! Morning people are heartless and crazy, IMHO. Also, my kids going to and from school without me. (Sheer panic and anxiety). My older teenage kids riding public transit without me. (Again, sheer panic and anxiety). My kids wanting to go to a charter school. My kids wanting us to leave the house to go somewhere suddenly that day (unexpected change of plans). Me: I can't have ASD. Reality: I have always, passionately, hated talking on the phone. I don't know how it's going to go, I don't know if I'm going to understand what the person is saying (because connection can be a tricky thing), I don't know if I'm going to respond correctly, what if I don't? What if I say something wrong? Any job where I have had to use the phone I have always had to write out a script, and a couple of times I've gotten weird looks from coworkers for it. I also hate turning left on roads without intersection turn lights because of the unpredictability of things, too. A coworker I used to work with thought it was PTSD and I just agreed with her because I didn't know what else to call it. Severe anxiety about unprotected left turns? It makes no sense, but there you go. I avoid those as much as possible.
So many things! Me: I can't have asd, I don't mind the texture of microfiber cloth! Reality: I can't stand wearing socks (they have seams), or long pants (they are just there), or long sleeved shirts (they touch my wrists), so I moved half-way across the country to live in a warmer place where I don't have to anymore, and just don't go places that require long pants.
watching this video while simultaneously reading a book and playing an instrument. everytime i stop one of those things and focus on another i get mad that im not doing the other two things. but they’re all very absorbing and interesting.
I got diagnosed with ASD two months ago, I’m almost 48. They couldn’t diagnose me with ADHD, because there were no ‘external signs’ of it when I was young. Unfortunately my brain is like a Duracel bunny, but then with a nuclear reactor on the point of meltdown. Luckily and unluckily for me, I’m pretty damn bright and a good masker, so that means that I can behave pretty normal up to an extent in general situations. But I melt down quickly when I am in high stress environments like the city, where I unfortunately live and have to keep living for the next decade or so. I also have a farm in South Africa, which feels like my real home and where I am generally as cool as ice. Recently, I had a lynch mob on my land. Yes, you read that correctly, a lynch mob. Some bloke had beaten and tried to rape a pregnant lady in the local township, the people naturally objected to this and the fool had run into my woods. They don’t go to the police, but would have beaten him to death, I know because they told me so. When I approached them (some twenty guys with metal staves and bottles of alcohol), I had no knowledge of this, but It didn’t faze me at all and I dealt with it swiftly, by sending them off, calling the security company and mounting a search party. We didn’t catch him, but that’s beside the point. All the points made in this video are applicable to me, but for me it is the environment, which generally is the trigger of many of the symptoms. When I am in SA, I am more focused, more structured, generally more happy and love the rough edges of living in Africa. In NL, i get murderous road rage when some cyclist runs a red light and I almost hit him with my moped. So, find your place and your life will become much better.
My biggest tension here is the autistic *need* for routine vs the ADHD inability to sustain a routine of any sort. Once in a while I get into a routine and it helps so much, but as soon as anything disrupts that routine, it is GONE, like it never happened and i can't get it back 😭
As someone who suffers with extreme severe anxiety I can totally relate to her. I would stop eating for days at a time as a punishment. I worry a lot about my life, everyone around me and pleasing everyone. It's absolutely crippling, so glad she got the help she needed, lovely young lady it's so sad that society has 1 in 3 people suffering mental health issues. I hope everyone seeks help
I’ve been known to not focus in conversation and make people have to repeat. Or if it’s something I don’t know I just pretend I heard because I’m too embarrassed to say I wasn’t paying attention.
Nailed it! Knowing when the ADHD brain becomes dominant, and when the Autistic brain becomes dominant, is giving me a handle on managing it... better than I used to. I think I have to make another spreadsheet in order to identify the triggers.
I've been late diagnosed almost a year ago, at 42, with ASD.. But the more I'm learning the more I'm convinced I'm AuDHD.. But because it's so internalised and "normal" to me I think it wasn't picked up during my assessment.. Don't know yet if it's worth the hassle (and money) to go through the whole process again for an official diagnosis though.. Since there's basically no help for (late diagnosed) ASD adults and I don't think another diagnosis will change anything about that.. Besides peace of mind, which I can also have if I accept my own interpretation/diagnosis.. Sorry for the rambling 😅
But in the USA, we generally need an ADHD diagnosis to afford us the ability to gain access to treatment drugs like Vyvanse which could help stabilize our brains. My current psych won't prescribe me anything beyond my antidepressant when I know and struggle with standard ADHD symptoms, just don't have a formal diagnosis.
The sensory overwhelm is so REAL. I just told my AuDHD husband last night that I was getting overwhelmed by all of the input my body signals were giving me. I had a small minor injury which was painful, I have neuropathy, my stomach was too full and my ears itched and my toes hurt and I just wanted to set my body aside for a break! Some ibuprofen later and life was better but it was almost day ending!
Yes. On all counts. Wow. Yellow Dial soap. Liquid or a solid bar. I hate it. I hate that smell. It reminds me of grade school when I was first exposed to social situations and unable to understand many things, like my face, my reactions, why I was always in trouble for not conforming, along with why some kids were mean to me for no reason. Sounds. Oh Good Lord.
I actually like the smell of most soaps, but heartily agree with you about yellow Dial soap - it's absolutely vile! And it's been around forever. My mother bought it all the time when I was a child (over 60 years ago). As an odd coincidence, I was in a public restroom just a few days ago and used the wall mounted refillable soap dispenser. When I got in my car, I thought, "What is that horrible smell?!" Sniffed my hands and you guessed it: despicable Dial! Took forever to wash that stench off! 😄
@@karens8633 Sorry to hear that, Karen. Can definitely sympathize, as I suffer from psoriasis. God bless you. I pray He will heal us both of these skin conditions. 💜
I was misdiagnosed as Bipolar 2 for many years and was heavily medicated and could not function. Since then I’ve struggled to understand what I’ve been dealing with my whole life. Your breakdown is the most on the nose explanation I’ve found at 42 years of age. Thank you.
As a teacher, I always asses myself and never try to fake anything with my classes (bc if I start masking at work I’ll have the energy to work half a day week) On days where I know I’m a bit more blunt and monotone, I simply communicate that. “Hey guys, I have a tendency to be blunt and my tone is pretty flat today. I’m not upset and everything is good, I promise I’m not mad at anyone. If I come off wrong, please let me know and I’ll happily clarify” That usually eases a lot of tension, the students see that they’re being talked to like real people, and it encourages my students with the same things going on to simply communicate those things to me and others, which I think is super valuable!
Fantastic video - thank you!! I don't know if I have ASD. I do have an official diagnosis of ADHD. I know I have a need for order, and yes, many, many started projects. I've never called it masking. I call it "managing". Because I have to make an effort to manage myself internally, as well as to manage in life. And yes - it's tiring!! I have found that I have to manage different aspects of life differently at different stages of my life. I always need to balance stimulation and human connection. I can't live without them, but they can easily overwhelm me. How quickly I become overwhelmed (and by what) are things that have varied over time. As a child I loved going to movies in small movie theatres - I lived in a small town, so that's all there was. In middle-age I didn't have the opportunity or inclination to do that. Skip forward over 3 decades, a friend invited me to go see a film in a theatre (not large, but with an aisle on only one side). Well - that turned out to be a clear NOPE! I'm grateful to youtube which has allowed me to watch content and stop it when I need a break!!!! Can't go back. I'm classical musician and I was in my 20s before I heard someone use the word "concert" to refer to anything other than a recital or symphony performance. Even today, I'm a bit puzzled when people talk about a "concert" taking place in a stadium. And yes, the first time I discovered what a friend meant by a "concert" that was in a stadium I was extremely overwhelmed. Most of my family is neurodivergent in some way - everyone has different needs and it manifests in very different ways for each of us. This meant I thought most people are neurodivergent. It also meant I learned a bunch of healthy plus some other pretty unhealthy ways of dealing with these aspects of ourselves. One thing that takes time to figure out is how my inborn traits interact with the behaviors and events happening around me and towards me. Ruminating, feeling anxious, zoning out - I am always looking into what ingredients, internal and external, are going into my emotions and reactions, so I can better support myself. Things can become really tangled. I wanted to come back to one point you mentioned - about needing to rest, but feeling that restless tingle to do stuff (to stimulate that ADHD side that is always looking for SOMETHING). I would say that looking for ways to occupy the brain with enough interest to let it "latch on" and stay engaged, but not tax it too much, and that also supports the body is always worthwhile. It takes time to get to know what our bodies and brains need - and just when you have something figured out, they may change. For me right now, my body needs a lot less activity than it used to, but it still needs regular light movement, so I need to be aware of what I'm doing and understand I may need more down time to recover from more demanding activity - this can be working out, but it can also be running errands outside in the summer heat, which is a bit too much for my body, but still sometimes necessary. Sorry this is so long - a lot of what you said resonated with me. Thank you!
Happy birthday to me. I am 72 today. I'm busy having a relaxing time. Luckily I am retired and that now defines a lot of my days. I hope I can reach a point where I contribute more, but right now I tend to ramble and run out of energy before I finish. Thanks for another great video. Nancy
You just described me. In ways I never could. Wow. I’m going to be evaluated at the hospital soon for this. I’ve been in psychiatric care in and out for many years and just a year ago I met a man at the hospital that said “I’ve worked with this for 40 years. Have anyone told you that you got adhd? You sound autistic too!” And I just cried. Finally it was something that felt right after 20 years of care, medicine and sukr&&side attempts.
This is my son. Your videos are helping me get a peak into his brain as he is not fully able to understand his brain completely yet. I try to gather a lot of research on my own to better assist him becoming more independent. He also has speech and mental impairment. Learning is hard for him but once we have found something that works for him, we let the teachers immediately know. Some implement and some resist until they can't anymore. He is in the special ed program but I feel like there is more socially that can be done outside of school. Most places won't take our insurance and we have decent insurance. Every year my son has been bullied to the point his twin sister spoke up at a school board meeting last spring stating that she is tired of kids bullying her brother because he's different, but nobody does anything about it. She was initially talking on another subject but decided to bring it to light. There were parents hugging her and telling her she's awesome, but a part of me was sad that my son could not be there because he doesn't like large crowds and it was recorded live. He misses out on a lot because he needs so much down time to reset due to school and always having to be on.
Lol! I love a good analogy and watching this video just helped my wrap myself into a nice tidy bow. I’ve recently rediscovered my crochet obsession after a multi-year hiatus. My previously undiagnosed AuDHD brain felt bad for years constantly reverting to crocheting in order to avoid tasks I didn’t know how to prioritize. I blamed the crochet so I destashed all my yarn and put my supplies out of sight/out of mind. My NEWLY diagnosed AuDHD brain recognizes the intense special interest of the hobby; the calming sensory stimulation of the yarn running through my finger; the thrill of finding a new pattern and new yarn to play with; the ability to switch between projects when I get bored with the repetition of one; the absolute joy of actually finishing something while also looking forward to diving back into an abandoned project; the way I can pop in a pair of noise canceling headphones and listen to audio books, podcasts, and UA-cam videos of my other special interests… I have (re)found my promised land and I’m leaning into the many benefits it gives my brain instead of chastising myself for the other things I’m avoiding. It is my self-prescribed AuDHD therapy because it ticks all my boxes and helps me avoid meltdowns and burnouts.
You nailed your topic in this video, Chris! When I was diagnosed with AD/H/D in my 40’s (will be 70 this year) it answered so many questions I had about myself! It also brought up many new questions, as I was also diagnosed with C-PTSD, and other spectrum disorders such as Gen. Anxiety Disorder, Dysthemia (chronic low-grade depression), Auditory Processing Disorder and more. . . (Am TRYING to keep this brief!) Recently, I had what felt like a bit of a breakthrough, when I realized that a life-long symptom that’s always puzzled-and distracted-me, was actually OCD, which I have a mild form of. Also in recent months, I’ve become nearly 100% convinced that I am also Autistic. And in the case of this video, ALL 4 of your categories were 100% true for me, too! I need to discuss it with my Dr., and see if I can be assessed/diagnosed for Autism-yes, even at my age! I can’t tell you how exhausting it STILL is, dealing with (medical and other) professionals who know NOTHING about my daily struggles. . . My HOPE is that an official Autism diagnosis will afford me some protection from those who ASSUME that I’m just a “problem person”, when in fact I try very hard to “mask” my neuro-divergent issues-especially over the phone, where it’s all about the voice, and I am too often misunderstood. One last thing : I discovered, as a college student in my late 40s-early 50s, the importance of SPEAKING UP about my AD/H/D challenges in all of my classes! Not only did it help moi, but it encouraged my younger classmates to advocate for THEIR needs, as well. I know this because many of them thanked me, after class, for speaking up ; something my younger self would have been too SHY to do! Thank you, Chris and Debby, for making these videos, which I’m sure are helping many!
This is the best description of AudADHD I’ve ever heard. I’ve been looking for a resource that explains how they affect each other. All other videos I’ve seen on the topic talk about Autism, or ADHD in isolation. Not how they feel existing in the same head. Thank you very much for this. ❤️
Thank you for articulating this so thoroughly. Reading symptoms on a website or taking tests is not how one determines wtf is going on with themselves. Hearing specifically what both diagnoses are and then the combination of the 2 lit up a light in my mind that has been dark for so long. It's been confusing knowing myself and my friend both have adhd yet I REALLY hate his loud music in his car. I know i'm different, yet nothing and nobody could tell me that having 2 neuro divergent diagnoses was even possible or how it feels to be this way. That's incredibly important to know and it's just nowhere except here in this random video. I'll comment again with my own terrible experiences. I hate it.
Well. That's me in a nutshell. No wonder I'm tired all the time!! And no wonder I take a nap when I get home from work. I look at other people and wonder how they have so much energy all day long! So. I've written this 3 times because I over share (ADHD) and want to say things more concisely - perfectly (ASD). I have practiced skills to the point where I don't have inner turmoil unless I have to make a phone call. I love texting because I can think about what to say and respond without pressure. I have practiced: crowds, eye contact, social interactions (I mimic so I am a good actress), and letting things go (mostly). My recent motto is "Done, not perfect" and "Done, not pretty" which has greatly taken pressure off me and has eased frustration. Self praise has helped a lot too. I'm still working on overwhelm. Where do I start? totally resonates with me. But also Do I have enough time to finish? Or Is there a good stopping point when I know I'll go back to it? It's extremely hard to chunk things (start and stop), but my mottos help. Love the video! Your examples hit home.
I've only woken up to this, thanks for making it easier to cement the certainty and understanding of this condition and how to manage the negatives. I wish I knew thirty years ago.
I have to say this is the best video I've seen to explain who I am from childhood to the present day I've never had a assessment but feel this is me in a nut shell
At 60 years old, I'm just learning why I've faced certain challenges all my life. I was diagnosed at 31 with ADHD, but it's becoming more apparent that it's likely an incomplete diagnosis. There is so much more information available now that there was at that time.
I've had an ADHD diagnosis for many years, but am just starting to explore the possibility I may have autism as well. I resonate with a lot of these things. I feel fortunate that I've come to love a field that tickles both my ADHD love of spontaneity and the autism need for order and routines: medicine! Healthcare has policies, procedures, and schedules, and at sny second, we might need to throw them all out the window to respond to a unique situation. I'm glad to have found this niche in life that my funky brain seems to love. Thank you for the video!
Thanks for a great video! I'm recently diagnosed as 'ADHD with autistic traits', after having been denied an autism diagnosis 25 years ago. I didn't realize until recently how much overlap there is between the two, and I didn't know enough about ADHD to realize it was me. This video really helps clear up the difference, and now I see how very much more I am ADHD than ASD. If only this video was around long long ago!
Oh dear, soooo true. So many projects... and I do NOT want to give up any of them 😭😭😭 The overwhelm is real, the frustration is real. Recently I think getting started on a task is the biggest challenge. I know what I have to do (and I do want to do it, I can be excited about it) I put it in nice little boxes in my mind calendar (or actual one) and when time comes, getting started is impossible, I digress, I side quest, and the things don't get done, and then I get stressed and depressed because not getting on with things as I could. I think knowing what I could accomplish if I had more control over my focus is very heart breaking for me, and can lead me in depression spiral. Not diagnosed yet (appart from from the high IQ) It's been about a year I see myself in ADHD, and a few weeks since I really realised the ASD part... Thanks for this content, it really sums it up for me.
These are my main takeaways from the video. IMO good insight into the challenges that may arise for AuDHD people from the turmoil that lives inside them. 00:00:16 *🧠 Difficulty with social interactions: ADHD leads to frequent interruptions and distractions, while ASD may cause challenges with eye contact and processing conversation tempo. Combining both can result in a chaotic experience.* 00:02:18 *🔍 Intense focus on special interests: ADHD causes frequent shifts in interest, whereas ASD leads to long-term, deep engagement with specific interests. The combination can lead to overwhelming multitasking and incomplete projects.* 00:05:01 *🌟 Sensitivity to sensory stimuli: ADHD involves broad sensitivity to stimuli, while ASD features specific sensitivities. Together, they can lead to heightened discomfort and conflicting sensory experiences.* 00:06:22 *🔄 Adherence to routines: ADHD favors spontaneity, while ASD thrives on routine. Combining them can create a struggle between the desire for new experiences and the need for stability.* 00:08:52 *⏳ Executive functioning challenges: ADHD leads to difficulty starting and completing tasks, while ASD results in frustration with interruptions and task transitions. The combination can cause significant chaos and overwhelm.*
wow Chris. I know this video wasn't made specifically for me, but it sure feels that way. It's soo good to hear I'm not alone in this and reading other commenters also helps a lot. Thanks!
Anyone else feel the tug of war of both autism and ADHD? What's your experience feel like? Tell us in the comments ⤵ it really helps to hear the unique ways we all feel this and for many of us to know we're not alone on it!
Daily. It's like constantly needing everything in your life to be systematically organized, complete and correct. And at the same time my mind being in total chaos All The Time. Which makes me anxious. Cause I can't handle chaos. Which totally exausts me.
Everything you said is completely accurate. Lol
I had to stop and rewind to figure out which issue caused the ruminating. Plus, I got distracted by your purple nee-doh too. I didn’t know, in addition to having late-diagnosed ASD, I have ADHD. Ugh! I’m sixty-two years old next month. How did I get through life living with both of these issues? 😵💫
Autism L2 and ADHD most severe. Add SAD, GAD, PTSD and possibly hEDS. Still not the full list.
Technically diagnosed at 53. I knew I was Autistic decades before that, but no one saw it, they did see the ADHD, but I didn't see that even though it was a huge part of the problem. It took a specialist to see the Autism, and me watching a hell of a lot of UA-cam to recognize the ADHD.
Taste and smell were so bad I forced myself to get used to smoking to intentionally kill some of both senses. Especially smell. I could smell things about people around me no one ever wants to know about another person. VHS style plastics (i know most will not remember this), perfume counters. Anything like that anywhere near your store, I couldn't even come close. Hearing wasn't far behind, but I have hearing loss (9-year-olds do NOT need to be taught to use a shotgun without hearing protection) but I always had trouble hearing people speak over any other sounds. Everything else was too distracting and I could no longer focus. Still cannot get hearing doctors to understand, they see the actually quite narrow bit of loss and just write it off as that.
Projects and stuff. I never had to work at most school related learning. I listened or read, and I just knew it from that point on. Physical skills took more like "normal" effort to do, as a result I am far prouder of locksmithing then my coding skills.
Let's face it, even the best mental health professionals just are not yet up to the task of dealing with that level of complexity and it shows when I try and seek help. I stopped trying.
Knowing that I am AuDHD explains soooo much about my strengths and weaknesses! Thank you for continuing to add to the conversation! 🎉
I cannot simply “stop doing something”. If it doesn’t get done, I can’t let it go and it causes immense stress and burnout if it reoccurs daily/ weekly. More of my life feels like it’s out of control. Going out to the grocery store/ mall/ doctor- there is always way too much stimulation. All the colors, smells, sights- it’s so exhausting. I get scared at nothing. The only way I could tolerate all the noise of life was through drugs. I always thought there was something wrong with me and that the anxiety would never stop. I have crazy high anxiety doing “basic” things like driving, flying on a plane, riding on a bus, being seen by others or looked at by others, being vulnerable in conversations, going to a concert/ event, attending a work meeting even on Zoom, etc. ASD/ADHD creeps into every aspect of your life! I feel like no one has understood how difficult things can be for those of us who go through this. I am seeking a diagnosis this coming week. Blessings to you, reader, may you have peace and joy ❤
Having both is like having two toddlers constantly fighting in your head with you standing in the middle begging them to get along and play nice with each other.
totally
Exactly!
This analogy is perfect
In my case it's just the two toddlers and there is nobody in the middle.
@@ModMINI And they're just also exhausted because they've been allowed to run rampant in their feud? 😅
Thumbs up if you got distracted three minutes into this video 😂
3, 6 and 9 minutes that I was well aware of
Not this time, because I was doing other things… earlier I spent the best part of an hour trying to watch a six minute video because I kept zoning out or falling asleep…
I had to rewind 5 times 😂
right about when I zoned out and had to rewind 😂😂😂
I want that pink squishy thing
If being an autistic person is exhausting I can't even imagine what to be AuDHD must be. I admire you all.
Thank you
It is very exhausting but I've obviously got nothing to compare it to since its always been this way
It's not that hard... We're naturals at it 😅😂😭
what exactly do you admire? my absolute constant lack of energy? even Adderall does nothing.
The worst is a project I desperately want to do but simply can't for "its going to cause problems with my brain"
It's hell. Even worse when your a woman with how we have our periods? Imagine being both AuDHD, while on your period....Unmedicated....Haha, help me😭😃
The push and pull of my ADHD and autistic brain sometimes cancel out into a form of paralysis. This is why I get stuck so often. So many of us, especially those who are diagnosed later in life, have a history of how others have reacted to the way our brain functions which can result in complex traumas. I'm now working on accepting how my brain works and being less hard on myself. Pre-diagnosis, I regularly tracked cause and effect (so autistic, right?) and it led to me agreeing with others that something was wrong with me. I couldn't adjust and adapt as easily as everyone else could. Many times, this dynamic was tied to judgments about me as a person. Clearly, I WAS too lazy, too aggressive, too blunt, too controlling, too loud, etc. Since I never imagined I was AuDHD, what other "excuse" was there for my "abnormal," "negative" behaviors? I'm one year post-diagnosis and I'm slowly getting better at being kind to myself. I feel that, the more I am kind to myself, the less of a trauma response I experience. It is a slow process but it is happening. When my brain is freed from the energy of the trauma responses, I feel I can be more present and make better choices. My brain is amazing and not broken. Thanks for this video. It is important that we realize we aren't alone in these experiences.
Very good point about being kind to yourself. There can be a lot of self-judgment and shame. We need some empathy for ourselves too
It’s really true about the shame (which can reach self hate) worsening trauma responses, which increases meltdowns, frustration, rage - and this worsens the feeling of self hate, feeding the downward spiral. Some of the time I’ve felt like there’s no good reason not to hate myself except that it makes me even harder to live with. It also makes it nearly impossible to live with myself.
@@jimwilliams3816 You’re so right. The spiral can be debilitating. Thanks for sharing your experiences. It helps so many to feel less alone. We don’t have to resign ourselves to what others put onto us.
I don’t have resources for diagnosis but the more of these kind of comments I read the more I know to my core who I am. Thank you for sharing.
thanks for being kind to yourself. I should try it, but I honestly don't know how. I'm trying to laugh things off instead of getting upset(usually at myself).. but its hard.
I am undiagnosed, but have been certain for years that AUDHD is what has governed my life. Thank you for not letting me feel alone in this.
Yes, me too. I've flip flopped whether I want to get diagnosed or not, but I feel like if the opportunity presents itself that I can get diagnosed without having to pay thousands of dollars (because of course I am unemployed and poor since our society/culture/country/gov doesn't have the supports in place to help us) I will go ahead and take the test, because without it everyone judges you anyway, and at least with the certification in hand you can prove that you are neurodivergent.
I'm undiagnosed as well. My older son was diagnosed with ADHD and I realized I have a lot of qualities. Recently I've been learning about Autism and realized I have a lot of those qualities too. My younger son is probably on the spectrum, but recently I think he has both like I probably do.
You can’t just self diagnose tho. What if it’s antisocial personality disorder
@ajnunez8788 You need go be able to identify yourself to a point. No body else KNOWS the real you.
@@ImOnA_Plain the sad thing is that doctors are the first ones acting like this. So instead of a patient you become a client 😢
Something specifically that really scrambles my brain is the spontaneity/routine conflict. If someone cancels on me last minute and my day changes, I either end up doing very little and feeling really guilty, or I do EVERY HOUSEHOLD CHORE to make up for it. And then I’m exhausted either way. Curious to know if anyone else gets this way. Thank you for this incredibly insightful video! I’m so happy to be alive at a time when people are having open conversations about ND things. I thought something was just kind of wrong with me for a long time and it’s a big relief to know that isn’t the case.
Yes. I still don't know how to explain this. Part of me loves having plans and routines. Part of me can not tolerate the thought of having to do anything at a particular time or in a particular place. There is no pattern to what goes into which category. I've generally learned to compromise: I wind up with long lists of things that need to be doe at no particular time. Mostly it works. Unless one of those things is picking up my daughter from work. She schedules her day in, like, three minute time blocks, and her day is ruined if she is either dropped off at work 1 minute too early, or picked up 3 minutes too late. We try to make it work, although I tend to not really notice time periods of less than an hour.
And yes, I, too, call it "Guilt Cleaning". It's not because I've done anything wrong, it's the overwhelming and irrational feeling that every single thing in the universe that needs to be done that hasn't been done is my fault and all of space-time will collapse unless the last piece of laundry is folded and put away. Thankfully my wife keeps trying to tell me it isn't true, and it's OK to sleep, and the dishes will still be there tomorrow, but it's a hard sell.
Spontaneity vs routine is why I didn't think I had ASD for so many years.
One conflict in that area is not being able to set my own routines, but doing so much better when others do it for me. But, then resentment about their authority over me builds until either exploring or imploding.
Haha… usually I only have the second example. Feel like I got free time and see all the things I can fill up.
But I also recognise the feeling of paralysis when plans changes.
I’m not diagnosed with either of asd or adhd, but probably have adhd.
@jayotto1628 you're not alone. This internal conflict is one of the most exhausting symptoms of having both. I never understood it before. How I can crave socializing and at the same time not want to be around people has always perplexed me. I do the same thing too. If plans change I feel a sense of doom and must either fill my day with overexertion or do nothing at all in a state of paralysis.
Same, relatable!!!
#4 ..saw a shrink for anxiety and he was talking about the noise from the fan being tuned out, and I replied “no it’s not, I hear it like I hear you. I hear the reception staff working in the front. I feel the seat under me, my feet in my shoes. I don’t tune anything out, my brain doesn’t do that.” He said that’s really interesting and sent me on with my script.
Yes, if you don't fit the mold, they just medicate. Been there. In fact, my last shrink told me the same crap and I screamed at him that that's what I'm trying to stop.
@@jacquimoore5967 eek..yeah..was 30 at the time and just learning that level of awareness to all things stimuli wasn’t what everyone experiences, kinda sucks if I try to get with a guy who’s a “petter”…stop touching me..please I beg you. Hypersensitivity is ass
Yeah people that are able to tune things out does not make any sense to me at all.
I have struggled with sleep ALL my life and one thing no one but other autistic people seems to understand is that I MUST have white noise close to the bed (fan, radio on low, whatever) or else my brain will not let me sleep because NOTHING gets filtered out: the icemaker downstairs making ice in the freezer, cars going by outside, cats walking around inside the house (yes I can hear cats walking), the wind, the faint sound of the neighbor's TV, airplanes going by overhead, whatever.
Exactly! Everything everywhere all at once and it doesn't stop. STOP CLICKING YOUR PEN!!!😮
Even though I’ve already gone through similar things with ADHD and Autism separately, this was the first time that I think I heard somebody else with both explain in it in that way where I was like, “Yes! That! Me too!” and like finally hearing somebody else describe dealing with the same struggle I do.
Same!!!! So good and validating!!! I remember when I got my autism diagnosis ( as adult like so many of my generation ), and then went into deep study of it ( ha! So typical! It became my very intense SI for couple of years ), and joined forums...and some were quick to judge me as possibly having gotten wrong diagnosis, cos my ADHD made me more impulsive and possibly also more social. 🤔 I didn't fit into the box, that some of the forum members seemed to demand in order to be "one of them". Made me angry and disappointed. ADHD symptoms were recognisable to my neurologist ( who is also psychiatrist ), but she said that if I got the official diagnosis of ADHD too, it would do more harm than good for me in the country where I live now. But oh my, it's so great to hear from others who have the combo as well! Makes it so much more challenging to rest, and to find the right balance between sensory friendly, reliable ( like f.e. strict routines.... they do help me many times... ) environment, and not too boring at the same time...the exhaustion is real...
Thank you. I've never seen someone so perfectly describe the chaos of desperately wanting to finish all those projects while simultaneously being unable to finish said projects, causing intense daily mental suffering. Subscribed!
I love going off to the coffee shop to work on something or read. A new coffee shop is even better. Something fun about the people watching, the interaction, the coffee smells, the variety. Then, after a bit, people start to annoy me. It gets too loud or the dishes are clattering, or someone is on their phone. People bump into you in line or bump in to your table. The table is wobbly or at a weird height. I'm hearing every conversation even if I don't want to. And then I start wishing I had stayed home where I can concentrate.
A couple days later, I do it all over again.
Everyone has a tolerance level for peopleing stressors. It takes intense physiological effort for your brain to do the filtering of all the things simultaneously. At some point the brain can't keep up and suddenly all the things that were being filtered out exist, much to our chagrin. 😫 Then it's time to gtfo because it's not going to get better from there. The peopleing battery requires recharging!! 😅
I got chills. It's creepy how you described it because it's exactly how I interact with places.
This is me but in Libraries XD especially hard when I have no isolated area to sit in and have to sit opposite someone because then I feel like they’re noticing my fidgetiness and I get very tense and freeze up and can’t concentrate so I just leave abruptly.
Stop reading my journal damn it :P
mood
Facts. Are we all the same person?
So much this... I miss being able to mask 😥
@@stferret not able to mask ? I'm curious, can you elaborate ?
@@BethFebbo It may be the case :P
My son is AuADHD (16) we homeschool so we love it when kids go back to school because the stores are empty. We have also learned that walking the dogs after dark is very sensory friendly. As a mom in the hustle of the culture he has taught me to slow down and live in a smaller space. It isn’t less, we have expanded our views. It’s like we were running on land and now we are scuba diving with him. It’s different, not less.
Yeah night time walks r nice, of course u have to have the right setting for it too
Ooooh I should take nighttime walks! I love being outside any time but I haven’t actively gone out at night in ages!
I'm scared of the dark unless I'm with someone. You should invite someone trusted to go with you and do it tonight :) @@Lari-lc3zq
@@heedmydemands yes safety first and always.
I love night walks & cycling after dark, definitely sensory peace. Woodland walking has the same effect for me.
As a teacher, and one with ASD, I am VERY much aware of my students who have ASD or ADHD. There are a number of similarities but if you know, you know. I adjust my lessons accordingly.
Me too. I talk about it very openly with students since, due to my school setting working with gifted students, this is very common.
@@LimitedWish: Your students are lucky to have you! When I was in school in the 1960s-early 70s, the medical community didn’t even think that GIRLS could BE ADD’ers! I am extremely MATH-challenged, so those classes were literally painfully humiliating-which I wouldn’t wish on anyone! Thanks again for your honesty and openness with your students.
@@nanwilder2853 thank you! It really is my absolute pleasure. I love what I do!
It makes my heart warm to hear of you teachers with autism/adhd ❤it makes so much sense to help children/adults with autism/adhd when you are life experienced in it ❤
@@LimitedWish EXACTLY! I usually have the gifted and those not-so-gifted so the range is immense. It helps promote acceptance as well, to talk openly about it, imo. We learn about each other and that encourages empathy.
A phrase that makes my skin crawl is "falling through the cracks". I heard this phrase applied to me SO much growing up. Then I was diagnosed with the totally useless lable, PDD-NOS, the NOS standing for "not otherwise specified". EH!! Now that I'm more accurately diagnosed as ADHD and ASD it all makes much more sense and I feel like I finally fit in SOMEWHERE!
What is PDD again?
@@dja192 pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified - it was basically a label used for children who didn't quite meet the criteria for either asperger's *or* autistic disorder (the other end of the spectrum).
@@stephr5914 I getcha. Thanks for clarifying. 😉
Wow, that's annoying, I am thankful there's so much new info from actual people and not some stuck up pseudo scientists, cause that phrase definitely counts for me. Hope you have all the deserved help now😊
I was also diagnosed pddnos, maybe it's just that it because audhd (coping)
That explanation of the hyper one minute then zoning out the next in social situations resonates with me SO MUCH! I feel like in social situations I sort of black out and am this super chatty, hyperactive talker and it's like the automatic mask that comes over me. It's like being behind a glass shield that does the "neurotypical socialization" for me. Then some sort of overt sensory stimuli might happen to knock me out of it or something and I sort of come back to reality and I get anxious. And like you said, I'm happy to get home and then my brain ruminates on all the stuff I might have said in my "blackout state". It's super strange and I've only just realized that this happens to me. I've got an ADHD diagnosis and going in September to be tested for Autism cause both seem to fit, but neither feels like the full picture. I REALLY appreciate these videos from your perspective as an AuDHDer! Thanks for all you and Debby do, it has helped me so much!
Same! I was telling a friend recently after her party and feeling like I blew it socially, "I feel like an alien cosplaying as a human a lot of the time." Like I know what you're supposed to do but I've got to consciously play the part. It doesn't come naturally.
Oh I hear you!!!! 😮 I need hours and hours and hours before I can sleep, so meeting people until late, keeps me awake until morning hours, or worse, sometimes even 24 hours or more, depending ! 😩 With physical health problems it's even worse, cos then I am so "out of order" the next day, or get migraine on top of it, etc etc ... Difficult! I try to meet people one-on-one at my home or peaceful environment, then it works the best. Parties? I stopped torturing myself and gave them up ages ago! Lost a few "friends" for it, but I am not sad about it, anymore. I anyway often had the feeling, that for many I only had some "curiosity" value, and nothing more. But I rather be alone than harm myself by doing things that exhaust me with people who eventually don't really care about me... Still having only few friends, but hopefully finding more in the future.
4:00 "possibly not any of them." 😃😄😆😅😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭 Yeah, I can relate to the 20+ projects of my AuDHD brain. 🙌
Yes! This is me!! I now realise I am so very likely AuADHD, too, as a result of this video, as I resonate so highly with every single one of these points.
That is the story of my life... Never been diagnosed with ASD nor my clearly HFA mom and sister and HER sister. But my cousin and my child have ASD. I think I'm on the borderline of ASD. Spent childhood memorizing topics like EVERY dog breed that existed, EVERY bird call, EVERY type of tree, and developing uses for my then-photographic memory. Now it's me, my 20 yr old, two cats, and our GOBS & GOBS of deep dives into our special interests. In other words... an apartment filled to the brim with stuff we just HAVE to collect, lol.
Yep. I have so many ideas, they just keep trumping each other and, at best, I only sketch them out.
Dude I’m glad I found your channel, It’s like someone finally understands me and my brain.
That's exactly how I feel 🤓
The way you explained the projects taking on too many, getting overwhelmed then not managing to finish any is literally my life and I finally understand why I do it. Thank you
I had to paint my shower room ceiling so that's half done. I'm also filling many holes in my wall which were left when the boiler was moved. I "finished" laying laminate flooring in my lounge but not the edging strips. That's been waiting 3 years as I can't figure out how to fill the big gaps that the strips won't cover...
Then there's the kitchen tiles that are around 1/2 completed but I'm bored of it now. My bathroom is literally 99% finished. I just keep forgetting it until I'm cleaning my teeth for bed.
I really wish this condition could be diagnosed more conclusively, sometimes when you say “I’m on the spectrum or I have adhd”, some people just roll their eyes, but they wouldn’t roll their eyes if someone was blind or in a wheelchair, because the condition is obvious to them. I’m sure one day modern medicine will catch up.
My one and only friend has asked me if I’ve ever had diagnosed with ADHD because I talk about it affects me. I was offended. Did she think that I just made this stuff up? I’m hoping to see a neurologist soon to be tested for autism. I’m 70 years old.
@@MyGrandchildernareSpecialYou are absolutely valid!! Your struggles are real, regardless of whether anyone *gets* you!
I want you to know that you deserve to be respected for who you are, and for your very real life experiences. And you deserve to be heard out and listened to and appreciated for who you are.
I don't know you, but I love you, and I hope you have an awesome life friend 🤗🫶
Being in a wheelchair isn't a diagnosis. And I can tell you from experience not everyone takes one as seriously as you make it sound.
This comparison did not help me to understand you
@@MyGrandchildernareSpecial My comment didn't show up for some reason. I hope you can see this. I just want you to know that you are valid, no matter if anyone "validates" you or not!!
@@Lucky9_9 Thank you so much. Life is hard for everyone. It helps that comfort and understanding comes from a stranger through the internet. As humans we need to be kind and love one other. When my mother was dying that’s what she said God had told her. Be kind and love one another.
This is relatable. I struggle with this pull all the time. Getting started and finishing tasks are so difficult for me. And energy management is difficult too. I get so frustrated that I have so many big ideas and can’t seem to go anywhere with them, and I see so many people around me succeeding and I know I could too, if I could only just focus. And I need so much time to rest from masking and sensory overwhelm that when I do have energy and time to focus on my own creative projects, I don’t know where to start. It’s all so overwhelming and frustrating. I could go on, but I’ll leave it there for now. Thanks for sharing.
Agreed! I get so many ideas for things but have a hard time starting, and for the ones that do get started I don’t finish. I can already see the process like he said, but have a hard time managing and doing it no matter how badly I want it.
It feels like a jack of all trades in knowledge but no physical showing of that knowledge.
@@PocketKanin yes, exactly!
That's me as well. Extremely frustrating. I feel like I can't handle things, and when I DO feel I can handle things, I get overwhelmed because of all the things I want to handle. Then rinse and repeat.
We need to make a country, small island, of exclusively AUDHD people. Either nothing will get done, or everything will be utopian. It’d certainly be quiet, and peaceful - but fun and interesting at the same time.
I could only imagine the little collections of trinkets and gadgets, all the special interests and focuses of passion that’d be present in every household.
It would certainly be a cool project.
Thanks for this video, man. You really are a good representative of people like us.
It’s hard living life with this shit in your head, but were beautifully unique. Talented, too, and can use our “special brains” to do great things.
Every autistic/adhd person I’ve ever met has always been so down-to-earth and generally intelligent.
You know what? I stop the video, because I have to say "what a beautiful moment "for us"... that people of our "species" are speaking loud and clear... And that we can understand each other.
I suspect many of us have been very alone and ignorant of the validity of our difference. It’s only the beginning, but it’s so valuable. I think I also have ADHD, in addition to ASD... And now, I return to the video ;)
It's super important to feel "seen" and for so many of us that's been an impossible challenge to surmount.
It feels incredibly validating to not only find out what makes me the way I am, but to hear and see other people going through the same thing and supporting others like us.
Gotta stick together and help each other progress because there's still not many people out there who understand us or are able to help us.
@@blindmownindeed! Now I wonder, if there's some forums that understand both autism and ADHD? I got diagnosed as an adult, and found out ( to my great disappointment ), that in many ways I didn't "fit" in with only autistic, nor ADHD groups...some even doubting my autism diagnosis, which feels terrible when I had just finally understood what was "wrong" with me since childhood...Now I would love to "meet" more AuDHD people, and hopefully make new friends too, who "get" the special challenges of having autism AND ADHD... Would make some communication so much easier, I guess.
I stop the video and realize I missed the last minute because I was reading comments 😭
I’ve never been diagnosed with either. People with ASD and ADHD tell me I have both. I listen to you story and it’s like you are telling part of my story.
That’s always the feeling. That’s how it felt when I was diagnosed with ADHD, and it’s how it’s been feeling for the last year as I discover more of my ASD.
I’m feeling so naked right now that I’m on the verge of crying.
You’ve described me without those masks keeping (hiding) the chaos and overwhelm inside.
When you put it that way, what a raw, naked mess I seem.
But I have always known that, haven’t I?
I just haven’t wanted anyone else to know.
(I am, however, relieved that it’s not just me.)
Couldn't even concentrate hard enough to listen. Saved it to re-watch later...😮😂❤
I’ve found it much easier to concentrate when I play videos at 1.5x speed. Oftentimes with captions.
@@Lyandra01 wow same! i even play some vids with really slow narrators on 2X speed haha, its like when they talk slow while my mind is treating too fast the informations, i think more in between phrases and my mind drifts and i get disengaged
@@meriemcullen8510 Exactly! I lose track of what they’re saying if there’s too much time between their words or sentences. I rarely go above 1.75, though, because a lot of videos have background music that can become painful if played too fast. 😅
I was the same until I started taking ADHD medicine and now it feels like I finally understand the word "zen". I'm so functional now it's crazy.
I’ve tab cycled between at least 10 other things while this video was playing. Thank god for auto captions, really helps me focus
I have told many people, "You can keep talking, I just can't keep listening." The reactions I got from this statement almost always led to my confusion and then apologizing for letting someone know I couldn't follow the conversation any more. I still don't quite understand, but I know to only say this to my kids. Everyone else just gets to keep going until they get mad that I'm not paying attention any more. No matter what, it's wrong and it's my fault.
This to what both look like. to me
that's such and honest, difficult statement. People should appreciate it. But I guess most people think you're messing with them or something.
I barked out a laugh from reading this! I almost searched Google for “why does listening to people talk always suck the lifeblood from my core?”
Its the words you've chose. It sounds like an "idc shush". If you said something empathetic like: "I dont have the capacity to continue listening to u right now. I am sorry. Can we talk about this later (schedule it)?" Or, if uninterested: "I see your excitement and passion and I am happy for you...The thing is that I, unfortunately, am not as invested in this as you. You mind switching topics?"
Basic respect for people's feelings and politeness go a long way
@@Pieza_De_Queso That's a lot of words and they don't hear the nuiance. I've tried all of that. Doesn't change anything. Once someone has taken something personally they can't really listen either.
Obviously it's not a "shush", because there was an invitation to continue to talk. One of my kids wanted to talk to avoid falling asleep. There are reasons for why everyone does everything. They just aren't always the same reasons.
If someone says they can't do something, believe them. Why do they need to explain?
The issue is continuing to pay attention is a struggle for some which others have never truly experienced.
@@pamlindquist2861 I highly disagree. You ordered your point in a very "all or nothing" manner when, apparently, what you had in mind was a very specific situation.
Also, people need to explain because this is how we mostly understand each other as humans: through body and verbal language. I get it might be more dfficult for those with autism (I have ADHD and high abilities/giftedness, not autism), but its crucial for social interactions. Makes little to no sense to simyply accept stuff without any questions, it goes against the curious human nature. We do question everything, especially whats related to the ones close to us.
And I believe NT people struggle to pay attention sometimes, as many factors can cause this. It's just not a regular issue to them.
Some NT individuals lack empathy towards ND insividuals, of course, but expecting people to simply accept statements or actions that are considered rude in their culture is unrealistic and not empathetic as well.
I have a dx for ADHD but I was pretty sure it didn't explain all of the things I have experienced throughout my whole life till now. the more I watch and relate to AuDHDers the brighter the lightbulb gets for me, and every single time it's like, hey you're literally just describing my life it's crazy..
I whined about a video with music several months ago. You were super nice about it. I've been here ever since. I've been diagnosed with ADHD by a few therapists and doctors but there were still some big holes in my story. In the last two years, I've been thinking that ASD filled in some gaps, kind of like contextual spackle, if you will. I'm convinced now. The struggle between the two often paralyzes my decision making. I CONFUSE ME and that's tiring. Thank you for the great videos (and for the lack of music). I'm probably a minority but I appreciate it greatly. I learned several months ago that I have serious auditory issues.
Childhood (or other) trauma can also be a crazy variable to consider. I have all three... and I suspect most people with either neurological profile do as well.
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again but it's just so hard to source out here
I’ve been researching on psychedelics and it’s benefits to individuals dealing with Anxiety, Depression, ADHD and from my findings, they really work and I’ve been eager to get some for a while but its been difficult to get my hands on them.
The Trips I've been having really helped me a lot. I’m now able to meditate and I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
I was having this constant, unbearable anxiety due to work stress. Not until I came across a very intelligent mycologist. He saved my life honestly
@@AlbertoTorres894
I feel the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels. I am also glad to be a part of this community.
@@WalterFair130Does he deliver to various locations?
I work for a company that helps to assess and diagnose ADHD and Autism and while working there and helping with patients a lot of things started to make sense with me.
This video made so much sense and was very relatable. My partner has ADHD and Autism as well and a lot of this reminded me of him too.
The part which made the most sense was the exhaustion with the 2 sides pulling.
I have long covid which creates its own issues with fatigue and exhaustion but my boss sat me down a few weeks ago to sort out my referral for an ADHD assessment (which I procrastinated for 7 months, very ADHD I know) because she thought that the undiagnosed and unsupported ADHD was probably making the fatigue a lot worse which was making me unwell and burnt out.
I honestly can’t thank my boss enough for doing that because I know I would’ve just kept pushing it back without her and watching this video really highlighted how much I probably need those assessments right now to help me.
Gosh all these points hit right home.
I got diagnosed with both ADHD (inattentive type) and Autism a few weeks ago. I am well in my twenties.
I struggle with so much stuff, because sometimes it just feels to have the bad sides of both autism and ADHD combined, which makes the simplest tasks, just the biggest mountains for me.
I wanna have a routine, I need routine. If I do not have routine, I will either forget things because of my grated cheese brain or I will not get anything done. On the other hand, I get so extremely bored with routine and doing the same things over and over again, that I wanna start new things. Go to the store to buy whatever I absolutely do no need and let it rot somewhere in my house. It is just so frustrating sometimes.
Hang in there sweetie.
Im 34, and my son has been diagnosed with asd and adhd.
This describes me to a tee.
Discovering this about myself is like a.light shining on me.
I thought i was broken for the longest time
This video is over the fence to the seats at 420 feet. A homerun.
I am 74 and discovered I am autistic about fifteen years ago. Made a lot of sense. And in just the past month after not being able to finish deep dive projects, I was informed I am also ADHD. Why I never knew this before or was not ever diagnosed is a mystery. But I do know all this psychological knowledge in decades and decades ago was non-existent. I must have been in my thirties before I even heard of autism. But somehow, in some way, I was able to finish a Ph.D. Now that is very much a mystery given I can in my declining years rarely finish projects and use equipment I have purchased. Oh well. Thank you so very much. :)
I’m 56 and trying to decide what benefit there is to get a diagnosis. Do you have any insight you might share?
On very late diagnosis, I’ll say this...I had to take care of my father very late in his life, and having a diagnosis would have been helpful to him in some ways. I only sort of suspected both him and me at the time, and if I had been clear about it I hope I would have avoided some pretty big mistakes I made. The penny started to drop when he was in the hospital, which was very autism unfriendly, and while I advocated then for the right things, being able to point tia diagnosis might have made them pay better attention. And finally, while his mind was going, both I and various caregivers assumed some things that were autistic distress to be part of the developing dementia. I only ended up with an AuDHD diagnosis (among others) because I started deteriorating myself from overwhelm and stress. It’s worth being aware that, while many of us have managed to trudge through adulthood, old age has ways of increasing autistic distress. I’ve now encountered a lot of people online who, like me, started struggling more in their late fifties and later.
@@jimwilliams3816 and that’s the only reason I’m considering it. My abilities to function in a social work setting, having been forced back into the office, and in an advanced role in my career feel like they’re slipping away. Also, as someone who _has_ been tested for cognitive abilities multiple times in my life, I’ll be the first to say IQ tests are a sketch, not the whole mural, and I’m struggling to bring my thoughts to bear more and more. It’s a focus and energy problem, but it’s really got me doubting myself.
@@jimwilliams3816 also, I’m glad you were able to advocate for your father. I’m with mine now after getting a diagnosis of late stage leukemia. Much love to you and yours.
Please never remove this video, it’s so relatable, I feel so seen, thank you!
*reminder to myself I got up to 9:01 and will finish rest of vid later * (let’s hope I actually remember to)
@@ashamachin-hunt6099 did you remember?
I am AUDHD and suffering a burnout. I lost my mom a bit over a year ago. I handled her estate and cleaned out her place on my own. My family did not help. It was a slow roll to burnout. Thank you for your videos. This one was quite relatable. 😊
Sorry you lost your mom and had to handle all that by yourself without your family to help. It sounds like a lot of physical exhaustion, feelings of heaviness, and time to ruminate. I hope you are able to bounce back from the burnout and self appreciate all that you were able to do 😊
Difference to mention for point number 1: my brother is ADHD and I am AuDHD. We both struggled in school to make friends as kids, but he could easily approach kids on a random playground and make temporary playground friendships with them where I absolutely 100% couldn't. Similar from a professional standpoint, yet very very different from my perspective. Even now he knows how to schmooze and succeed on a shallow level which gets him far, yet I can't even get a positive result from an interview without prior help from an acquaintance
I tell my family when doing chores etc... I can't stop because if I stop, I might not be able to start again.
I have ADHD ANXIETY DEPRESSION and let me tell you guys it’s fucking exhausting beyond disbelief. I’m currently in the process of getting medicated but I hope that I get well soon because if I don’t I see myself giving up.
LOL! People ask me, in a concerned tone, Why are you upset?!? I tell them, I'm not. I'm just thinking. (BTW, I'm just ASD not both, but this all sounds so familiar). I also endlessly replay social interactions, and my perfectionism kicks in and I'm sure I must have said something stupid or wrong or I said more than I should. Sighhh(or should I say shyyyy) hehehe
Yeah same, I think my thinking face is interpreted negatively
The catch phrase of my youth was "are you okay?!" As an adult, I can appreciate how concerned my classmates were for me. As an angsty middle schooler... not so much 😂
I knew I had combined especially after I was diagnosed with ADHD. I just felt like something else was off. Everything you talked about nailed it for how I work and function. That last part about being tired all the time, I never knew that was something caused by my mental state until I started meds. It was wild.
What did you get prescribed?
@@Christina.N. I went through several types of meds, at least half a dozen, before I landed on the one I have now. Vyvanse seems to work really well for a lot of people and it's now on generics so it can be bought much cheaper.
For everyone struggling to find a good stim. Try to sift sand. Its really great for me, so give it a try. If you have kids with a sandbox, it even has a real purpose.
Love doing this. Didn’t realize I was stimming 😂
As someone who got my formal diagnosis of ASD last year, I'm finding it EXTREMELY DIFFICULT to find a medical provider who will accept me that I have ADHD which in the US helps with the open possiblity to drugs like Vyvanse. I'm just so frustrated because no matter how much I try to stabilize myself between the ASD and ADHD parts of my life and brain, work on what I can, I feel that I'm being prevented and blocked from medical intervention and accessibility to these medications that would also help me further. I even had a doctor who concluded that I was OVER DIAGNOSED and didn't think I was ASD, neglecting the idea that I didn't struggle with ADHD entirely. EVERYTHING you listed off in this video and every video you make is identical to what I go through as an AuDHD'er 😥 I absolutely HATE how there isnt any consistency with healthcare in general.
Same here. Had to opt for natura remedies, chewing a couple seeds of nigella sativa proved so efficient helping me fall asleep - which led to a better quality sleep- therefore didn’t have anxiety or issues getting myself started the next morning… not the best but it helped calm me down. Read about it there are plenty of studies
Ok. Thanks to your explanations I can feel in my bones I have both. Fun! I've often wondered why I switch gears from routine and plans to spontaneity. Its like being oppositional-defiant to myself. LOL. The NT community seems to put this all interns of self sabotage and I have been pooping on myself for decades because of it. To know that's its just my thing is such a relief. I do take lamictal and it has immensely helped the loopy looping thoughts. immensely. Thanks for being a mirror and helping to normalize these actions.
So glad you're finding it helpful! It's also nice for me to hear that I'm not alone with these feelings, so thanks for sharing this 😊
It's so interesting, I was on Lamotrigine (Lamictal) for 10 years while I was misdiagnosed as being bipolar. Now that I've been off of it for a year and a half, it's only now that I've been looking more into ADHD (have the diagnosis) and Autism because it feels like the world has been turned up to 11 and I'm so overwhelmed. May I ask, were you given that medication for a neurodivergent condition? Or is it just a lucky side effect and you take it for something else?
@@akaymac1 I was first given it over a decade ago. I had an incorrect diagnosis of "rapid cycling bi-polar". I found it helpful. When my diagnosis then changed to CPTSD, I went off of it with my dr.'s help and used other methods like meditation, breath work, etc. Recently went on it again and then got an AUD(and I think ADHD may be added )diagnosis.I find it so helpful in stopping my thoughts from completely freaking out and taking off. I do still get upset appropriately but my thoughts dont churn unendingly any more. I wish there was a more natural equivalent but I have yet to find one.
@@JenniferKastelic This is super helpful to know! Thank you for sharing it with me! I'm in that boat of struggling to function with bad anxiety (from AuDHD I think...getting testing soon) and they want to put me on an SSRI, but my stomach can't tolerate them. So far therapy hasn't been super helpful in terms of managing the anxiety so it's made me question going back on a low dose of Lamotrigine (even though that had negative side effects for me too). If I can ask, did you get put on the same dosage you were on previously?
@@akaymac1 I dont remember but now I take 25 mg in the morning and 50mg at night. Its one of the few meds that I have had no side effects from and I am grateful.
I was told for a long time that I couldn't have both that I'm either autistic it ADHD and that I must be faking if I think I have both.
This video is so validating and actually explains so much.
Resonate with what you said way too much. Frustrating and exhausting. Don’t like being either, it’s such a burnout which is even more frustrating and exhausting. Stretched thin.
Yes! Debby has said often that she wonders if having the combination leads to more frequent meltdowns and also burnout because a lot of the time, I might put myself in the situation because of my ADHD brain thinking I can handle something. It's like it tricks me! And then I get out and I'm so quickly overloaded. Sometimes I even think, "Was this my idea? It couldn't have been..." and then the exhaustion sometimes for days after...and then the cycle repeats 😅 really working to do this less for myself as I'm learning more about my needs, but being stretched thin is a very accurate way to describe it. I'm planning to make more videos about this topic in the future because it's a really challenge and I think many AuDHDers don't give ourselves enough credit for managing the battle happening in our brains all the time.
Hope you can find ways to balance this out for yourself too. Have you found anything that works?
@@ChrisandDebby reading bible, try to let things go and try not to over extend by slowing down but still get lost in a moment. Seasons cycle. Just keep on cycling and we’ll make the mountain and coast down in the valley to cycle up the next mountain.
It feels good to hear someone explaining exactly what you feel and what yout going through cause in real life it's frustrating Evry time trying to explain your self and what your going through and in the end no one understand and the worse thing is when they take it as a joke
Thank you for saying you get nausea from crowds
I'm also both... I just got to a point where I'm trying to kinda have a schedule but also not... I'm literally just riding the waves, when they come. Sometimes I'm too exhausted. But I also zone in and out. But as soon as a topic bores me... I zone out. It's alota ups and downs in one day. But I'm kinda making peace with it. Been so exhausted past few weeks and just do the best I can. I feel more at peace accepting that I'm gonna probably fall around from the one brain operating station to the other more than I'd like. That helps a great deal to not beat myself down. I'm embracing who I am but still trying to develop and grow in new ways and not doom myself. It really is challenging. But it's also freeing to not put such extreme expectations on myself as I usually did. I'm feeling whatever I feel and just living through all the emotions might look very weird to people on outside. But, I dont care anymore. My life is less boring just experiencing everything life has to offer daily. It's definitely push ND pull. Release from tension also.. 😂 Platue also.. It's a bit chaotic I guess. And thats okay. Not perfect at all. Growing daily ❤
Spot on.
Sometimes it's interesting living in the zone where autistic pattern recognition collides with adhd hyperactivity. I don't have a schedule, but I do have a pattern and a plan. But it is completely non-verbal, so I literally can not explain it to anyone. If forced to, I can put together a 20 page essay explaining some of the significant factors and how they fit together and the multiple interconnections that make it so that what seems to others as "the most important thing" actually needs to be done after 27 other things (you know, like how in order to build a new wall, you have to tear down the old wall first?). But, if forced to, by the time I'm done with the 20 page essay it will be completely out of date, inaccurate, and will have used up all the time and energy I had to do any of the things, so it's not a useful exercise. One thing I've learned, is trust the pattern recognition.. but listen to others too, because other perspectives are often valuable.
HOW MUCH BRAIN DRAIN: YES!
WHEN DO WE WANT IT??
I found out I have both after working with Ayahuasca for years, it's a powerful realization that I am still learning to manage. First it was the ADHD and then the Autism.
When you drink Ayahuasca you see the ADHD as a black hole in your head just shooting thoughts at you randomly, you also notice the super fast thinking among other things, constant acceleration, while the Autism feels like this pristine creativity but also extra sensitivity and rigidity.
I would say one of the things that helped me the most was also a friend reinforcing this idea when I bring it up to him.
Turns out he was in the same journey of discovery and we both now know we are AuDHD.
Where did you do Ayahuasca?
@@darksparkyshark430in Costa Rica.
Interesting. I've been meaning to do psychodelics. Thanks for sharing
Undiagnosed adhd and asd caused me to develop bpd. Fun times!
Diagnosis has changed my whole understanding of the world
It’s really weird hearing someone so specifically describe what it’s like in my brain. But I’m very happy to know there is an actual reason my brain is like this. Thank you.
You know what puzzles me. NT people of average intelligence who can focus on things and be organized and did well in school, who either did not strive for higher education (even if they had the brains and the money) and also never started a company or wrote a book or started a UA-cam channel or worked on a hobby. They watch tv and kittens on UA-cam and like to go out with friends and that's all they do. Even if they have more ability to do more than us. It is almost painful to have Autism and ADHD where there is so much ambition and drive and great ideas, but barriers to getting it done, seeing intelligent NT people with social and organizational skills doing nothing.
That's why I feel zero remorse manipulating NTs into getting what I want.
It's something that confuses me too, don't they get bored doing nothing all the time?
I also have mild AuADHD and wondered the same thing. Then i realized i should stop caring bout people's businesses because my concept of success and happiness might be different than theirs. Just because they could doesn't mean that they should :)
It’s because they’re already satisfied/content with life and they just want to enjoy it in the ways that appeal to them. They don’t feel the need to strive for more, they’re just happy with their relationships and life in general.
NTs are absolutely not a monolith of people who've got it all figured out. Nearly everyone would love to do the things you mentioned, but they have their own barriers. Their barriers are just different from ours.
The reason why Jim didn't seek higher education despite having the intellect, organizational skills, and the money, could've been due to the fact that his high acheivment in grade school actually kept him burned out throughout his teen years, despite the fact he appeared so organized on the outside. He doesn't want to go through that intense struggle again in colllege and waste is early 20s to stress. He'd rather work in his friend's plumbing business to keep a comfortable environment in his head until he figures out his true goals in life.
Sarah watches UA-cam videos of kittens everyday because it's one of the few things that recharge her after interacting with people all day at her demanding job. She relates to cats in a way. Maybe she's not neurodivergent, but she's still an introvert with a battery.
Lee hangs out with his friends nearly every chance he gets when he is able. He and his friends like to share thoughts on books they've read, and he is in the process of writing his own book. He hangs with friends so much, because those same friends made him see the value in that life is worth living even though his depression is so severe sometimes that he can only get out of bed to use the bathroom. He was supposed to finish his book a long time ago, but he's still doing his best and is slowly reaching his goal of completing it.
Bianca was always very organized and known for being smart. She got straight As and worked long hours? How?? School and work were her safe havens from the abuse she endured at home, so anything was better than "home." Her exquisite organizational skills and generous amounts of income she brought in during her teen years allowed her to land herself a decent apartment as soon as she turned 18. But now, she can't help but eat and watch TV all day. It distracts her from the nightmares she calls memories. She doesn't understand why she can't continue to work to escape the trauma like she used to, but she knows she needs to work, but her intense anxiety tells her the safest place to be is in her apartment. That's where abuse doesn't exist, but her money is slowly running out, and she might not be able to afford the apartment soon.
Great video, yeah that constant pull can be exhausting. One thing I find helpful is to do the minimum necessary to appease the adhd side without overwhelming the asd… if I feel like being out in the world: going on a walk or to the library instead of a family party etc.
Also, idk if you know the poem To an Isle in the Water by W.B. Yeats. I think you’d like it because he writes “shy” in it a lot.
I hate it when my brain wanders off during a meeting or at parties when I realize I’ve been sitting quietly in my head instead of interacting with people for who knows how long.
I'm so glad I found your channel. My ex wife told me about 4 years ago that she thought I was on the spectrum but after researching through more main stream sites I decided although similar it must be just my ADHD. But seeing this now through other autistics and ADHD eyes it's more than obvious. I can see how exactly why I learned to mask. My parents would leave home when they went to visit with other relatives and they were very embarrassed of my rocking. I would rock in bed, rocking chair and in the car. And I was always alone and although I had one close that friend by high school I didn't any friends.
But if course that's just the tip of the iceberg.
At 63 y.o. and alone but I do pretty good by myself considering only ex wife shows up to bring me groceries when I run out of food or place looks like a cyclone came through the house because which overwhelms me.
Virtually everything that you mentioned here is a duplicate of what I go through. There's been only two things that I don't do which is the stuffed animals and I like to be rubbed lightly. But it has to be a certain way or it likes finger nails on a chalk board and irritates me. And if it's done right its similar to the rocking chair. It just soothes my mind.
This all said I think the number one way that I have always stimmed Is in a rocking chair and I haven't had one in 3 years since I moved to this place I'm in and my ex-wife is working on getting me one. Thanks to your site and a few others hopefully I can talk the insurance company into doing the testing they said they only have funding for somebody under 21 which I think is discrimination. And it may seem like an odd thing but I need that rocking chair because it will help me function or at least alleviate the tension I feel inside me.
Oh, and I should be thanking you so I will but to tell you the truth I forget formalities all the time especially when I write a book like this because I think, who would take this much time to explain themselves if they weren't grateful😂
That having too many projects and not finishing them is something I struggle with. I learned the roomba method of cleaning a while ago, where you just wander around cleaning as you go, and it works. I've started applying that to projects. Just work on a project till you're distracted by another, then when the original project comes around again, you return to it and pick it up again. No judgment, no worries about why it's not done, just... get to it when you get to it.
I'm getting somewhere slowly with this approach.
I especially relate to struggling with group conversations. The combination of not being able to filter out sounds and deep diving into a particular subject when I hear anything interesting makes it impossible to follow the eb and flow of normal group conversations.
To counter that I naturally grew a very unique sense of humour and I tend to drive the group dynamic by putting on a show. If I can't, I disappear in the background and pretend I'm doing something more important than participating in the group.
Isn't it amazing how the people who complain the loudest about being interrupted are the same people who never leave a gap for anyone else to say anything?
Thank you so much for this video. I have ADHD and I understand what that is like. My daughter has both ASD and severe ADHD and your video really helps me understand her better. The things you said really hit home with some of her behavior and struggles... also, I never considered how the two different diagnoses could be so at odds with each other in many ways and it makes a lot of sense. I really felt the "light go on" with many of the things you shared.
Fantastic communication, Chris. I'm still learning about what the combo entails and I REALLY appreciate your calling out the exact biology class smell that caused me to get an incomplete in that class! The tug of war is real so I just need to get these two aspects of myself to do some creative and positive collaboration; hopefully, that's possible! Thank you thank you thank you.
As an AuDHDer, this video is a gem to show other people how I feel or show them I am not rude. than you!
6:12 We dissected pigs in high school biology and those fetal pigs were in the class, stinking up the room for WEEKS. it smelled SO awful.
Making beautiful bullet journal type planners with drawings and colours and schedules and goals and trackers all thought out in great detail.. only to throw it out the window 2 weeks later because it got boring/overwhelming 😅
I really enjoyed this video. I love his humor. I think I may have both also. So much resonates with me. Sometimes just transitioning out of bed on the a.m. is difficult and I have to force myself to get up because my bladder is about to bust from holding it. 😂 I also get really anxious when I realize I don’t even know where to start on the next step in the project or when I don’t understand something.
This basically was like a mirror telling me about myself. Like, I have so much trouble explaining "me" to people, but this basically does it
Me: I can't have ASD, I don't hyper focus on anything.
Reality: Since I completed grad school December 2015 (yay!), I have been reading multiple books daily (as in, read as many as I can possibly jam within 24 hours before doing it all over again the next day), until I got COVID again about 2 months ago and decided I needed a break and now I've become just as hooked (pun intended) on crocheting.
Me: I don't have issues with transitions, either.
Reality: Mornings all my life! Morning people are heartless and crazy, IMHO.
Also, my kids going to and from school without me. (Sheer panic and anxiety).
My older teenage kids riding public transit without me. (Again, sheer panic and anxiety).
My kids wanting to go to a charter school.
My kids wanting us to leave the house to go somewhere suddenly that day (unexpected change of plans).
Me: I can't have ASD.
Reality: I have always, passionately, hated talking on the phone. I don't know how it's going to go, I don't know if I'm going to understand what the person is saying (because connection can be a tricky thing), I don't know if I'm going to respond correctly, what if I don't? What if I say something wrong? Any job where I have had to use the phone I have always had to write out a script, and a couple of times I've gotten weird looks from coworkers for it.
I also hate turning left on roads without intersection turn lights because of the unpredictability of things, too. A coworker I used to work with thought it was PTSD and I just agreed with her because I didn't know what else to call it. Severe anxiety about unprotected left turns? It makes no sense, but there you go. I avoid those as much as possible.
So many things!
Me: I can't have asd, I don't mind the texture of microfiber cloth!
Reality: I can't stand wearing socks (they have seams), or long pants (they are just there), or long sleeved shirts (they touch my wrists), so I moved half-way across the country to live in a warmer place where I don't have to anymore, and just don't go places that require long pants.
watching this video while simultaneously reading a book and playing an instrument. everytime i stop one of those things and focus on another i get mad that im not doing the other two things. but they’re all very absorbing and interesting.
I got diagnosed with ASD two months ago, I’m almost 48. They couldn’t diagnose me with ADHD, because there were no ‘external signs’ of it when I was young. Unfortunately my brain is like a Duracel bunny, but then with a nuclear reactor on the point of meltdown. Luckily and unluckily for me, I’m pretty damn bright and a good masker, so that means that I can behave pretty normal up to an extent in general situations. But I melt down quickly when I am in high stress environments like the city, where I unfortunately live and have to keep living for the next decade or so. I also have a farm in South Africa, which feels like my real home and where I am generally as cool as ice. Recently, I had a lynch mob on my land. Yes, you read that correctly, a lynch mob. Some bloke had beaten and tried to rape a pregnant lady in the local township, the people naturally objected to this and the fool had run into my woods. They don’t go to the police, but would have beaten him to death, I know because they told me so. When I approached them (some twenty guys with metal staves and bottles of alcohol), I had no knowledge of this, but It didn’t faze me at all and I dealt with it swiftly, by sending them off, calling the security company and mounting a search party. We didn’t catch him, but that’s beside the point. All the points made in this video are applicable to me, but for me it is the environment, which generally is the trigger of many of the symptoms. When I am in SA, I am more focused, more structured, generally more happy and love the rough edges of living in Africa. In NL, i get murderous road rage when some cyclist runs a red light and I almost hit him with my moped. So, find your place and your life will become much better.
My biggest tension here is the autistic *need* for routine vs the ADHD inability to sustain a routine of any sort. Once in a while I get into a routine and it helps so much, but as soon as anything disrupts that routine, it is GONE, like it never happened and i can't get it back 😭
I'm happy to learn about this! It will help me relate to others.
That's awesome! Thanks for being here - and the people around you will appreciate you learning more and working to understand 😊
As someone who suffers with extreme severe anxiety I can totally relate to her. I would stop eating for days at a time as a punishment. I worry a lot about my life, everyone around me and pleasing everyone. It's absolutely crippling, so glad she got the help she needed, lovely young lady it's so sad that society has 1 in 3 people suffering mental health issues. I hope everyone seeks help
I’ve been known to not focus in conversation and make people have to repeat. Or if it’s something I don’t know I just pretend I heard because I’m too embarrassed to say I wasn’t paying attention.
Nailed it!
Knowing when the ADHD brain becomes dominant, and when the Autistic brain becomes dominant, is giving me a handle on managing it... better than I used to. I think I have to make another spreadsheet in order to identify the triggers.
I've been late diagnosed almost a year ago, at 42, with ASD.. But the more I'm learning the more I'm convinced I'm AuDHD.. But because it's so internalised and "normal" to me I think it wasn't picked up during my assessment.. Don't know yet if it's worth the hassle (and money) to go through the whole process again for an official diagnosis though.. Since there's basically no help for (late diagnosed) ASD adults and I don't think another diagnosis will change anything about that.. Besides peace of mind, which I can also have if I accept my own interpretation/diagnosis..
Sorry for the rambling 😅
I LIVE for rambling. 👍
@@francinebacone1455 thank you 😁 I can also appreciate it, it gives such an insight in someone's brain and I'm here for it 😂
But in the USA, we generally need an ADHD diagnosis to afford us the ability to gain access to treatment drugs like Vyvanse which could help stabilize our brains. My current psych won't prescribe me anything beyond my antidepressant when I know and struggle with standard ADHD symptoms, just don't have a formal diagnosis.
@@0hffs good point, it would definitely be the same over here in Belgium.. Funnily enough I never even thought of that aspect 😅 thank you!
The sensory overwhelm is so REAL. I just told my AuDHD husband last night that I was getting overwhelmed by all of the input my body signals were giving me. I had a small minor injury which was painful, I have neuropathy, my stomach was too full and my ears itched and my toes hurt and I just wanted to set my body aside for a break! Some ibuprofen later and life was better but it was almost day ending!
Yes. On all counts. Wow. Yellow Dial soap. Liquid or a solid bar. I hate it. I hate that smell. It reminds me of grade school when I was first exposed to social situations and unable to understand many things, like my face, my reactions, why I was always in trouble for not conforming, along with why some kids were mean to me for no reason. Sounds. Oh Good Lord.
I actually like the smell of most soaps, but heartily agree with you about yellow Dial soap - it's absolutely vile! And it's been around forever. My mother bought it all the time when I was a child (over 60 years ago). As an odd coincidence, I was in a public restroom just a few days ago and used the wall mounted refillable soap dispenser. When I got in my car, I thought, "What is that horrible smell?!" Sniffed my hands and you guessed it: despicable Dial! Took forever to wash that stench off! 😄
@@endtimes7122That stuff is murder to my skin! It really triggers the eczema! My poor hands are sore from the nasty stuff! 😢
@@karens8633 Sorry to hear that, Karen. Can definitely sympathize, as I suffer from psoriasis. God bless you. I pray He will heal us both of these skin conditions. 💜
I was misdiagnosed as Bipolar 2 for many years and was heavily medicated and could not function. Since then I’ve struggled to understand what I’ve been dealing with my whole life. Your breakdown is the most on the nose explanation I’ve found at 42 years of age. Thank you.
Oh, hello! This is my (undiagnosed) life you are living. SIGH!
As a teacher, I always asses myself and never try to fake anything with my classes (bc if I start masking at work I’ll have the energy to work half a day week) On days where I know I’m a bit more blunt and monotone, I simply communicate that. “Hey guys, I have a tendency to be blunt and my tone is pretty flat today. I’m not upset and everything is good, I promise I’m not mad at anyone. If I come off wrong, please let me know and I’ll happily clarify” That usually eases a lot of tension, the students see that they’re being talked to like real people, and it encourages my students with the same things going on to simply communicate those things to me and others, which I think is super valuable!
Fantastic video - thank you!!
I don't know if I have ASD. I do have an official diagnosis of ADHD. I know I have a need for order, and yes, many, many started projects. I've never called it masking. I call it "managing". Because I have to make an effort to manage myself internally, as well as to manage in life. And yes - it's tiring!! I have found that I have to manage different aspects of life differently at different stages of my life. I always need to balance stimulation and human connection. I can't live without them, but they can easily overwhelm me. How quickly I become overwhelmed (and by what) are things that have varied over time. As a child I loved going to movies in small movie theatres - I lived in a small town, so that's all there was. In middle-age I didn't have the opportunity or inclination to do that. Skip forward over 3 decades, a friend invited me to go see a film in a theatre (not large, but with an aisle on only one side). Well - that turned out to be a clear NOPE! I'm grateful to youtube which has allowed me to watch content and stop it when I need a break!!!! Can't go back.
I'm classical musician and I was in my 20s before I heard someone use the word "concert" to refer to anything other than a recital or symphony performance. Even today, I'm a bit puzzled when people talk about a "concert" taking place in a stadium. And yes, the first time I discovered what a friend meant by a "concert" that was in a stadium I was extremely overwhelmed.
Most of my family is neurodivergent in some way - everyone has different needs and it manifests in very different ways for each of us. This meant I thought most people are neurodivergent. It also meant I learned a bunch of healthy plus some other pretty unhealthy ways of dealing with these aspects of ourselves.
One thing that takes time to figure out is how my inborn traits interact with the behaviors and events happening around me and towards me. Ruminating, feeling anxious, zoning out - I am always looking into what ingredients, internal and external, are going into my emotions and reactions, so I can better support myself. Things can become really tangled.
I wanted to come back to one point you mentioned - about needing to rest, but feeling that restless tingle to do stuff (to stimulate that ADHD side that is always looking for SOMETHING). I would say that looking for ways to occupy the brain with enough interest to let it "latch on" and stay engaged, but not tax it too much, and that also supports the body is always worthwhile. It takes time to get to know what our bodies and brains need - and just when you have something figured out, they may change. For me right now, my body needs a lot less activity than it used to, but it still needs regular light movement, so I need to be aware of what I'm doing and understand I may need more down time to recover from more demanding activity - this can be working out, but it can also be running errands outside in the summer heat, which is a bit too much for my body, but still sometimes necessary.
Sorry this is so long - a lot of what you said resonated with me. Thank you!
Happy birthday to me. I am 72 today. I'm busy having a relaxing time. Luckily I am retired and that now defines a lot of my days. I hope I can reach a point where I contribute more, but right now I tend to ramble and run out of energy before I finish. Thanks for another great video. Nancy
Happy Birthday! 🎁🎂
You just described me. In ways I never could. Wow. I’m going to be evaluated at the hospital soon for this. I’ve been in psychiatric care in and out for many years and just a year ago I met a man at the hospital that said “I’ve worked with this for 40 years. Have anyone told you that you got adhd? You sound autistic too!” And I just cried. Finally it was something that felt right after 20 years of care, medicine and sukr&&side attempts.
This is my son. Your videos are helping me get a peak into his brain as he is not fully able to understand his brain completely yet. I try to gather a lot of research on my own to better assist him becoming more independent. He also has speech and mental impairment. Learning is hard for him but once we have found something that works for him, we let the teachers immediately know. Some implement and some resist until they can't anymore. He is in the special ed program but I feel like there is more socially that can be done outside of school. Most places won't take our insurance and we have decent insurance. Every year my son has been bullied to the point his twin sister spoke up at a school board meeting last spring stating that she is tired of kids bullying her brother because he's different, but nobody does anything about it. She was initially talking on another subject but decided to bring it to light. There were parents hugging her and telling her she's awesome, but a part of me was sad that my son could not be there because he doesn't like large crowds and it was recorded live. He misses out on a lot because he needs so much down time to reset due to school and always having to be on.
Lol! I love a good analogy and watching this video just helped my wrap myself into a nice tidy bow. I’ve recently rediscovered my crochet obsession after a multi-year hiatus. My previously undiagnosed AuDHD brain felt bad for years constantly reverting to crocheting in order to avoid tasks I didn’t know how to prioritize. I blamed the crochet so I destashed all my yarn and put my supplies out of sight/out of mind. My NEWLY diagnosed AuDHD brain recognizes the intense special interest of the hobby; the calming sensory stimulation of the yarn running through my finger; the thrill of finding a new pattern and new yarn to play with; the ability to switch between projects when I get bored with the repetition of one; the absolute joy of actually finishing something while also looking forward to diving back into an abandoned project; the way I can pop in a pair of noise canceling headphones and listen to audio books, podcasts, and UA-cam videos of my other special interests… I have (re)found my promised land and I’m leaning into the many benefits it gives my brain instead of chastising myself for the other things I’m avoiding. It is my self-prescribed AuDHD therapy because it ticks all my boxes and helps me avoid meltdowns and burnouts.
You nailed your topic in this video, Chris! When I was diagnosed with AD/H/D in my 40’s (will be 70 this year) it answered so many questions I had about myself! It also brought up many new questions, as I was also diagnosed with C-PTSD, and other spectrum disorders such as Gen. Anxiety Disorder, Dysthemia (chronic low-grade depression), Auditory Processing Disorder and more. . . (Am TRYING to keep this brief!)
Recently, I had what felt like a bit of a breakthrough, when I realized that a life-long symptom that’s always puzzled-and distracted-me, was actually OCD, which I have a mild form of. Also in recent months, I’ve become nearly 100% convinced that I am also Autistic. And in the case of this video, ALL 4 of your categories were 100% true for me, too! I need to discuss it with my Dr., and see if I can be assessed/diagnosed for Autism-yes, even at my age! I can’t tell you how exhausting it STILL is, dealing with (medical and other) professionals who know NOTHING about my daily struggles. . . My HOPE is that an official Autism diagnosis will afford me some protection from those who ASSUME that I’m just a “problem person”, when in fact I try very hard to “mask” my neuro-divergent issues-especially over the phone, where it’s all about the voice, and I am too often misunderstood.
One last thing : I discovered, as a college student in my late 40s-early 50s, the importance of SPEAKING UP about my AD/H/D challenges in all of my classes! Not only did it help moi, but it encouraged my younger classmates to advocate for THEIR needs, as well. I know this because many of them thanked me, after class, for speaking up ; something my younger self would have been too SHY to do!
Thank you, Chris and Debby, for making these videos, which I’m sure are helping many!
This is the best description of AudADHD I’ve ever heard. I’ve been looking for a resource that explains how they affect each other. All other videos I’ve seen on the topic talk about Autism, or ADHD in isolation. Not how they feel existing in the same head.
Thank you very much for this. ❤️
I love when people say "smile" or "cheer up." Yeah? Thanks! All cheered up now that you said the magic words!
Thank you for articulating this so thoroughly. Reading symptoms on a website or taking tests is not how one determines wtf is going on with themselves. Hearing specifically what both diagnoses are and then the combination of the 2 lit up a light in my mind that has been dark for so long. It's been confusing knowing myself and my friend both have adhd yet I REALLY hate his loud music in his car. I know i'm different, yet nothing and nobody could tell me that having 2 neuro divergent diagnoses was even possible or how it feels to be this way. That's incredibly important to know and it's just nowhere except here in this random video. I'll comment again with my own terrible experiences. I hate it.
Well. That's me in a nutshell. No wonder I'm tired all the time!! And no wonder I take a nap when I get home from work. I look at other people and wonder how they have so much energy all day long! So. I've written this 3 times because I over share (ADHD) and want to say things more concisely - perfectly (ASD). I have practiced skills to the point where I don't have inner turmoil unless I have to make a phone call. I love texting because I can think about what to say and respond without pressure. I have practiced: crowds, eye contact, social interactions (I mimic so I am a good actress), and letting things go (mostly). My recent motto is "Done, not perfect" and "Done, not pretty" which has greatly taken pressure off me and has eased frustration. Self praise has helped a lot too. I'm still working on overwhelm. Where do I start? totally resonates with me. But also Do I have enough time to finish? Or Is there a good stopping point when I know I'll go back to it? It's extremely hard to chunk things (start and stop), but my mottos help. Love the video! Your examples hit home.
I've only woken up to this, thanks for making it easier to cement the certainty and understanding of this condition and how to manage the negatives.
I wish I knew thirty years ago.
I'm bawling because I am ALL of these. It is a cathartic cry and a resolution to some problems I have and have had.
I have to say this is the best video I've seen to explain who I am from childhood to the present day I've never had a assessment but feel this is me in a nut shell
At 60 years old, I'm just learning why I've faced certain challenges all my life. I was diagnosed at 31 with ADHD, but it's becoming more apparent that it's likely an incomplete diagnosis. There is so much more information available now that there was at that time.
You have described me 100%. I have never been able to explain 'me' before. Thank you so much
I've had an ADHD diagnosis for many years, but am just starting to explore the possibility I may have autism as well. I resonate with a lot of these things. I feel fortunate that I've come to love a field that tickles both my ADHD love of spontaneity and the autism need for order and routines: medicine! Healthcare has policies, procedures, and schedules, and at sny second, we might need to throw them all out the window to respond to a unique situation. I'm glad to have found this niche in life that my funky brain seems to love. Thank you for the video!
Thanks for a great video! I'm recently diagnosed as 'ADHD with autistic traits', after having been denied an autism diagnosis 25 years ago. I didn't realize until recently how much overlap there is between the two, and I didn't know enough about ADHD to realize it was me. This video really helps clear up the difference, and now I see how very much more I am ADHD than ASD. If only this video was around long long ago!
Oh dear, soooo true. So many projects... and I do NOT want to give up any of them 😭😭😭
The overwhelm is real, the frustration is real.
Recently I think getting started on a task is the biggest challenge. I know what I have to do (and I do want to do it, I can be excited about it) I put it in nice little boxes in my mind calendar (or actual one) and when time comes, getting started is impossible, I digress, I side quest, and the things don't get done, and then I get stressed and depressed because not getting on with things as I could.
I think knowing what I could accomplish if I had more control over my focus is very heart breaking for me, and can lead me in depression spiral.
Not diagnosed yet (appart from from the high IQ) It's been about a year I see myself in ADHD, and a few weeks since I really realised the ASD part...
Thanks for this content, it really sums it up for me.
These are my main takeaways from the video. IMO good insight into the challenges that may arise for AuDHD people from the turmoil that lives inside them.
00:00:16 *🧠 Difficulty with social interactions: ADHD leads to frequent interruptions and distractions, while ASD may cause challenges with eye contact and processing conversation tempo. Combining both can result in a chaotic experience.*
00:02:18 *🔍 Intense focus on special interests: ADHD causes frequent shifts in interest, whereas ASD leads to long-term, deep engagement with specific interests. The combination can lead to overwhelming multitasking and incomplete projects.*
00:05:01 *🌟 Sensitivity to sensory stimuli: ADHD involves broad sensitivity to stimuli, while ASD features specific sensitivities. Together, they can lead to heightened discomfort and conflicting sensory experiences.*
00:06:22 *🔄 Adherence to routines: ADHD favors spontaneity, while ASD thrives on routine. Combining them can create a struggle between the desire for new experiences and the need for stability.*
00:08:52 *⏳ Executive functioning challenges: ADHD leads to difficulty starting and completing tasks, while ASD results in frustration with interruptions and task transitions. The combination can cause significant chaos and overwhelm.*
wow Chris. I know this video wasn't made specifically for me, but it sure feels that way. It's soo good to hear I'm not alone in this and reading other commenters also helps a lot. Thanks!