Laying on a bed of coins, tending to the half-dragon hatchlings I've sired and occasionally getting letters from the party sounds way WAY more pleasing than any retirement I'll get in real life.
Honestly that sounds like a fun NPC character. Maybe a ‘tax collector’ who is extorting a town to pay gold or gifts to them and if they don’t the town will be[Torched, Melted, Electrocuted, Poisoned, Necrosis, Frozen, etc, etc]. Then have the party THINK it’s just some bandits with some magic at their fingertips and the leader is this ‘tax collector’. The party tails them… The just to reveal that the gifts are actually just anniversary presents for their dragon husband/wife/significant other and their kids… and now you and the party is breaking and enter into their home. Talk your way out or ROLL FOR INITIATIVE!
Plus the dragon is gonna protect you for dear life... Like if you've pissed off a king or a wizard or something boom protection. If it's a metallic dragon they can help the party... You've just gained an ally (Provided the party doesn't do something to anger it like burn down an orphanage.)
Then how do the dragons survive? Obviously dragons eat adventurers that come along so the player would be forced to eat other people to survive@@SmallSpoonBrigade
@@vispev3123 Total nerd thing here. There was a book for 3.5 called the Draconomicon. Dragons don't actually need to eat anything to survive. They can live off of magic. They can, however, eat items to quite literally gain experience. Gold, magic items etc. Also, no self-respecting dragon WOULDN'T still have tons of actual good food that they can acquire. Just because it isn't directly beneficial, good food is still tasty and dragons love indulgence. :)
Including me, who just did so a few days ago. Luckily that was a one-shot and that multiverse's version of my bard is living a happy life. (He's a dragonborn himself)
Well, your character might get to live that supposed dream, but you'll never get to play that character again. Unless you can convince your dm to play a one on one campaign with you. Most players don't dream of retiring their characters early.
I actually love the idea of defeating a dragon only for the bards that seduced it over the years to all come screaming out of the cave "YOU KILLED MY LOVER!" and then phase 2 of the fight begins.
@@nodot17 I like the idea that they don’t actually know any revival spells themselves and the entire phase is stopping them from digging through the dragon’s hoard to find scrolls of raise dead or revivify and undoing the whole fight.
You, not "us". Proceed being devastated by your party folks eaten and be put into cauldron reeking of dragon magic to grow cute tail/ snort/scales/claws/wings bcs you are too valuable to perish from short mortal age and becoming a total sub in dragon love dynamics bcs dragons are not known for being social due to extreme greed for resources and arrogance.
Funny thing is I actually had an idea for a character like this. He was a flirty bard, but never took it beyond that. When the party asks why he's not doing the usual "horny bard" schtick, he tells them he is happily married, and he doesn't want to piss off his wife who is a literal dragon. The party laughs it off, assuming it's a joke. Then later his wife shows up and they realize "Oh fuck, he was serious".
one of my poor players not knowing at the time that the horny dragon who is a wise sage was Also planning on cheating on his mate with someone from the party. they ended up deciding he was creepie and turned him down, which Did lead to a "you turn me down puny creature?!" speech that only made them want to avoid him even More
"Day 10000: I haven't seen the Sun for so long I forgotten what it feels like on my skin. I spent today like I spent yesterday, polishing the horde. And the sex, the sex never stops. Gods save me."
I actually built an antagonist in one of my stories like that, ~520 years before the story starts a dragon falls in love with a human who suddenly died in a world changing event, because of this the dragon curses her lover's soul to find a still-born to inhabit and take over, then she finds him so that he can fall for her all over again. "Stick your dick in ancient and you'll never see the afterlife" has now become my play group's line when trying to talk down someone trying to get some dragussy
@@malkeus6487 not to mention no sane DM is going to take time out of the rest of the table to roleplay a single player's entire life of fantasy marriage.
The ultimate prize of any bard is a silver dragon. They are EXTREMELY hard to get, but are willing to bring their hoard with them in order to join you on your adventures rather than the other way around and will go to EXTREME lengths to rescue you if aforementioned kidnapping happens. They also will never tire of you since the ephemeral nature of mortals is why they are fascinated with you in the first place. Unless you take a literal decade to make a decision on something, they won’t get bored.
What I heard: "Roll reversal: I get kidnapped, and the dragon goes on a right proper draconic rampage to retrieve their hoard. Cities are put to the torch. Kingdoms are felled. At least one continent is sunk."
Every time I play The Bard class, I would put in, "has an extreme fetish for dragons", to see if the DM was reading the sheets, only one dm caught on 🤣
I will forever be spoiled by one of my First DMs ages ago. Told him straight up at session 0 that banging a dragon was on my power hungry wizards bucket list as he had heard it may or may not increase your magical abilities. Cut to 2 campaigns later, my Wizard had successfully wed himself to a silver whom outright refused to be further than 100 meters at all times and would go on a rampage killing anything in her way to return to his side. This made shopping and social sessions rather interesting but it all paid off in the end. We were woefully under equipped to deal with the big boss of the story. So I got the bright idea to teleport myself into a prison cell and left a fake ransom note next to my rucksack on where to find me. It wasn't 1 in-game hour my character woke to absolute chaos as she leveled the entire compound that would have taken us many sessions, ate the boss in one turn, grabbed my unconscious wizard from the rubble, and carried him off angrily into the sunrise never to be heard from again.
Sounds like a win-win-win to me. You got to beat the boss, the dragon gets to take you home, and the DM doesn't have to put up with your character anymore
Metalic dragons are good aligned. A silver dragon is Lawful Good. What you're describing are Chaotic Evil actions. Your DM didn't spoil you they made a somewhat interesting mechanic but seem to have ignored a few basic aspects. To be fair this is you getting an engaging mechanic to play with, Not you character being taking away from you for playing the game like this post is implying should happen.
@@toolittletoolateJust because they are Lawful Good does not mean they are not Yandere. Their moral code says to protect their treasure at all costs, as that is the best way to make a difference in the world: the bigger their hoard, the more influence they wield to make the world a better place. It would be evil to lock away their sentient lover away in their cave until their last days, so they let their lover have their freedom. However, they still must protect their treasure at all costs, as their lover is key to having a family, a family that can change the world if it gets big enough. So at the very end, where their lover is “kidnapped” by the BBEG, that’s the last straw. They must get to their lover as fast as possible, and the BBEG is just an inconvenient obstacle between them and said lover. It’s totally possible for a Lawful Good dragon to act as OP describes 🤣
@@boomkruncher325zzshred5 Not to mention, I feel like a Silver would have no issues with decimating a Chaotic Evil who stole their treasure, just as you described lmao
The bad news: You're married to a dragon now. The good news: You're married to a dragon now. Think of the possibilities! You will be loved and protected by one of the most powerful and dangerous creatures to ever exist. You could learn the secrets of dragon lore and magic, perhaps even learn to shapeshift and become a dragon yourself. You will never be poor again. You don't have to worry about that stupid dysfunctional adventuring party of murder-hobos anymore - they can solve their own problems because you're too busy living your best life while being MARRIED TO A FREAKING DRAGON. But yeah, better get ready to roll a new character.
Seduced a dragon once DM took this opportunity to turn him into an actually cool and maybe funny gag character through: “Dragon transforming into their human form to join the party and doesn’t understand social awareness” and actually took the time to develop their character By the end of the campaign, the dragons first achievement in society is being able to buy meat on his own without accidentally threatening the butcher
I imagine the piece of meat hanging from his mouth as he returns to you guys with sparkle in his eyes, telling you "He said goodbye !" muffled by the meat.
personally if i was a dnd master i would let you keep the dragons mwhahahaha. but as a consequence horrors untold would sense the dragons presence near their territories and come looking for fights.
I solved this problem with my players wanting to seduce everything by explaining the anatomical difference between the species, and that not every dragon is comfortable in human form. They stopped that BS right away. "You WILL die, death by snu snu"
Reminds me of when our party stumbled into a silver dragon's lair and she thought we were there to slay her. Our bard tried to do what all bards do and failed. Miserably. And for his troubles, he was half frozen in a chunk of ice while my character, who only spoke a smattering of dragon, tried to go for diplomacy. However, my character screwed up the translation and accidentally proposed to the dragon in exchange for letting us all live and leave peacefully. The dragon accepted and decided to let my character keep adventuring so long as he always came home for the winter. All in all, it was actually a pretty good situation for my dude.
In 3rd edition (3.5) Dungeons and Dragons, they had a half dragon version of just about anything you could imagine. So, yeah, you probably will have little draconic children running around some day!
@@rosehearttoxic1691also can't the majority of dragons shape-shift into other forms so that even if they weren't compatible in their normal form they could be in another?
I am of the opinion that dragons are the second horniest race in fantasy, only behind humans. Some sort of polymorph is almost always in their abilities so they can change to fit with any mate and the presence of a dragon bloodline giving/boosting magic is a common trope in various settings.
@@Coren024 That fits with their mythology, as incarnations of sin. Lust is a sin, after all. That's why traditional eastern dragons don't follow the same tropes, they weren't imagined by Christians.
Yep. In my situation (new DM and a young copper dragon), dragon was just as interested in me, as I was in it. Turns out, copper dragons kinda like bards, and this young copper dragon hadn't seen very many elves before so it was highly curious and intrigued by me. As for my case, my character had a few 'interests', which a dragon was kinda a good fit for 😅. DM also used it as an 'out' for me, the few times I wasn't able to attend the weekly session, the DM would play it off as that the dragon came and took me away for a bit and that's why sometimes I would just 'vanish' from the party. DM definitely never threw in a bit of extra details which left the party asking my character some embarrassing questions sometimes 😅.
Counter argument: I tell my newly seduced dragon that if it lets me go out into the world I'll keep bringing more and more shiny treasures to add to her hoard.
Nope. You're too precious to risk. Plus, would a dragon loan out a major magic item even to someone she trusts on the aegis of being brought more treasure for her "investment"? She's dragon greedy, not Wall Street greedy. Although, that might make a good party patron premise.
I remember a scenario where this happened and I managed to convince the dragon that I would return to a dowry for myself as I felt that it wasn’t right for me to be with the dragon without adding to the hoard and rolled another 20 to get it to agree so fast forward to me being level 20 and the party has just defeated the big bad who I gave the name muk due to him muking up all his chances in life but anyways I used wish to true polymorph into a brass dragon and make it permanent before coming back to the dragon adding to the hoard as promised since she hates breaking her promises the last scene was their eggs hatching
Roll a nat 20 persuasion check to convince the Dragon to adventure with you and your party so you can accrue a dowry for the inevitable wedding. And tuition for any little dragon babies.
Indeed, unless tis a female dragon at which point it decides on what size dowry is required for the marriage. If you did especially well, it might waive that ... fee >.> Only time not to roll a natural 20
This video's line on "you're not going to have little donkey-dragon hybrid babies" is very funny to us because in the one scenario that we did seduce a dragon in D&D the DM did, in fact, make it canon that we successfully had kids with the dragon. Future campaign had one of our descendants. We were playing a construct who got polymorphed into a flesh person at the time which you would think would lower the chances but when you follow your dreams all is possible.
This is how you get sorcerers down the line, so it's canon. First you get half-dragons, of course, but their great, great grandchildren will be sorcerers.
Reminder: only metallics can polymorph. The average adult red dragon is 40 feet long and weighs 5000 pounds. Males are tops, females are dominating. They also have a body temperature of about 3000 degrees when NOT in heat. Good luck with that!
excuse you, that dragon is a HOMEOWNER. my character is securing their future in this turbulent fantasy economy regularly upended by these bloody conniving gods and wizards and their property damage...
Half-dragon or Dragon sorcerers. Presumably normal dragons can also come from the union if you’re compatible enough for the other combinations. Very diverse family photos are in the future.
@@XerothereaperI blame wizards of the coast for giving us so little information on where dragonborn actually come from in the phb thatwe have to dig around to find out about a whole alternate dimension.
@@Heldemon Canonically, only Metallic dragons can. So gold, silver, copper, brass, and bronze. Colored dragons (red, blue, green, white, and black) cannot. But that's not in every edition of DnD, nor does it stop you from homebrewing it so they can. What makes that even better, is that if the dragon was truly enamored with you, it would choose a hummanoid form that was to your liking. Got a thing for elves? Your big dragon is now an elf. You want them to stay scaly? Dragonborn dragon SO. Prefer shorties? Gnome dragon SO. Prefer tall people who can crush your head between their forearm and bicep? Orc dragon SO.
I don’t know much about D&D, but this “Seducing a Dragon” thing honestly feels like the D&D equivalent of Fallout’s infamous “Fucking a Deathclaw” meme.
Yeah pretty much, both big scary scaly things, except dragons in dnd are CRAZY possessive of their belongings, the whole “never letting you leave” thing is no joke, if you did this your pretty much signing yourself off to slavery.
@@bennet2347 hey, if its a metallic dragon at least you'll be comfortable in your imprisonment. The Dragon would be sure to "acquire" things to keep you happy while you're locked up in its lair forever.
@@bennet2347 I mean to be fair, both metallic and chromatic dragons canonically fuck humanoids and misc literally all the time. The draconomicon isn't just there for shits and giggles, and half-dragons don't just appear from the ether. You MIGHT wind up kept as a treasure for all of time if it really likes you, but that's honestly the good end, because, again, it's canonical that dragons can reproduce with just about anything that reproduces (especially the shapeshifting dragons) and that the dragon blood breeds true. So the actual likely ending is not, in fact, being precious treasure for eternity, it's having an extremely traumatic birth in HOPEFULLY nine months and then having a baby that can breathe fire and a dad that may or may not be interested in that fact. 🤣
From Cami-cat's "Life of a Bard" "Well hi! Elder Dragon of Gold Your scales are stunning! Your character bold! Can we see your hoard? We've been searching for miles. Maybe I could be the greatest Gem in your pile!"
See, this is why you seduce either a Metallic Dragon who is more comfortable with hanging out with humanity on a daily basis, or a Chromatic Dragon who has a vast ambition to rule over the world.
I actually have this as a plotline in my campaign, where a bard from a former party of adventurers managed to seduce/entertain a copper dragon (who can assume human form) and convince him to join him on his venture of opening an ethical brothel. Now they are co-owners of the brothel and the dragon is thus a shareholder and gains monthly profits, increasing his horde, while hanging out with and playing jokes on his lover(s).
My Paladin helped a Copper Dragon in her ambition and charmed her. Hooked up whilst she was in her human form, got her pregnant, and now the next campaign I'm playing their half dragon son.
While I was a DM a player went carousing and rolled a 1 during a drinking contest. Has him wake up with a girl who turned out to be a transformed song dragon. Later revealed to him that a love potion was in the drink, all part of the bad guys plan to create a child to fulfil a prophecy of doom. Look on his face during BBEG monologue was priceless.
Jokes on you, you just accidently created a scenario the players liked, and now they want offer new items to the horde and now the logistics of a Draconic wedding are because you're table enjoys romantic anime far more than you ever realized. Have fun with your tsundere gnome bard attached at the hip of Akyxxaxia, Blighter of Worlds.
Jokes on you, I'm into that. Also, I'm totally getting little dragon babies, dragons are extremely magically fertile and can breed with ANYTHING. So making halfdragons is the norm.
@@matheussanthiago9685Right. "Nat 20! So, my mount and the dragon get frisky?" "No, the dragon decides to laugh at your audacious joke rather than immediately kill you"
there is a Manga named Dragon-Half that starts on that premise, the main character is the daughter of a female red dragon with a knight who was sent to slay said dragon. i guess he forgot a letter around the way.
My character's response (Hot Elf Sorceress/Bard): *Turns to the Dragon* "Hey! I know you are a Red Dragon but how would you like to know what it is like to save the world cause there is a Lich and I hear he has a big enough hoard that we could buy a castle of our own to live in with your horde stored and have a comfortable life after. What do you say?"
Druid walking in the room so hard the door slams both ways. Druid: " I'm not a what? say that again I dare you mother fucker. I'm a snake, a spider ,a bear and several animals that aren't even real irl."
There is also the Dragons that just decide to eat you whole in order to "stay together forever". Since you will then be a part of their being.. Dragons are a wild bunch.
Character is retired after seducing dragon...character comes back later as an npc that has convinced the dragon to help his/her former party as a supportive partner.
This could definitely be a regular format, and an unironically good/funny tool for dms. Other ideas: - You killed a foundational god. - You created the peasant railgun. - You broke the economy. - You committed a war crime.
You do realize the irony of talking about becoming the sex slave of a dragon with the words “dungeon master” written behind you… “Sorry if I disappointed you master, I understand I must be punished.”
When 'dungeons and dragons' ends up turning into 'dragons and dungeons 😈' for the lucky bard, the DM plays the dragon which becomes the bard's new 'dungeon master' 😅
"The dragon finds your proposition pleasing. It scoops you up, locks you in a fairly comfortable cell at the back of its lair, and adds your name to the list of eligible future mating partners to be kept secure and healthy until it next comes into season. It then nods politely to the captives - some of them quite elderly - in the dozen other cells next to yours, tells you 'See you in fifty years, darling!', and leaves."
It's worse when after you role to seduce the dragon, the dm says "well you succeeded to lay the dragon but there is one small problem, the dragon is into vore"
What makes this video hilarious is how detailed he goes into what he believes in the ultimate fuck up. Like he had this explanation waiting in the wings and was just looking for an excuse to use it.
"your not gonna make cute little donkey dragon babies" correction i will make a sorcerer as the child of said dragon and bard. maybe make them economically challenged cause at home they have so much gold or introverted cause they grew up literally with no one or something.
My idea for if a player does this: is you give them an annoying dragon hatchlings that they cant get rid of. It breaks stealth very often, bites you during rests, and burns or acid spits your armor so you constantly have to repair it. Bet they wont wanna try to get another child then
I love this idea. However I also love the idea of all dragons being able to shape-shift into humans. So when my player did this I was like "alright she shape shifts into a human form. Being a gorgeous woman. You have a wonderful night. However....you notice your coin pouch feels lighter and they will not let go of you. They convinced the dragon join the party. However this came with her constantly wanting more gold from her partner. Who would then constantly go out buying whatever she wanted to add to her hoard. She also would not let them out of her sight. Yes. They seduced the dragon. But now they have the mother of all clingy girlfriends, Who views them as a sugar daddy. Basically. "Okay..but would you actually want to?" 😂
This. If a DM gets mad at something silly like this, it's probably better to not DM altogether. It shows lack of creativity and that they take their games way more seriously than anyone ever will, so players are likely to just stop caring and leave over time anyway.
Imagination, or integrity. If it fits your campaign's story and setting, by all means add some wacky consequences and spice up your story with them. If it doesn't, then the nat20 seduction should just cause the dragon to tolerate your presence for a while longer... and, of course, you should indicate your campaign's dragon-kissing quotient to the players in advance, so they know what they're in for. AND you also have to keep in mind that the more shenanigans you curtail, the more entertainment you have to provide on your own. Overall, I believe DMs should be able to do whatever they want as long as everyone's on the same page. Serious adventures, silly adventures, open-ended adventures, linear adventures, they can all be fun in their own way.
@@lordninetails514exactly, it should at least polymorph into a smaller more compatible version of itself or into a dragonborn with more dragon added in
@@AltaniNerdAuRaDepends on the reptile. It could be that short, but it’s unlikely. From what little we know about dinosaur reproduction, it could be as short as 1’ due to the relationship with modern birds and reptiles; but more likely it would be significantly larger to accommodate for the unique requirements of a creature of such mass. In order for creatures of that size to not kill each other, it would be something more like 4-7’, to potentially 10-15’ long depending on their relationship to birds (Argentine lake ducks are heckin’ weird my guy).
We once met a traveling Wizard who sometimes told about her husband. Later on we discovered that this husband, who we met a few times in a pretty big but precise area, turned out to be a Silver Dragon. There was also a seemingly very ancient oracle lady who turned into an ancient Golden dragon near the end of our campaign and there's a desert empire with a whole set of obscure desert nobles who seem to have their own hierarchies with princes, dukes, counts and kings. Which is completely different from the hierarchy of the standard nobility of the empire or the mages' faction that actually runs the country. These guys turned out to be all blue dragons. Our DM's world has a lot of fun dragon lore. Dragons are rare. They're like actual legendary creatures with some even believing they don't exist. Only two truly big groups of dragons ever lived. A very ancient black dragon Greatwyrm (a really fat one) who had an entire kingdom of sons and daughters that reached up to ancient themselves. And the blue dragons, who are more eachother's enemies if anything else. An honorable mention is the first red dragon. Easily the strongest dragon and presumably the Chromatic equivalent of the aforementioned Oracle. The Blue Dragons are constantly kept in check by the empire they live in and the Black Dragons being almost wiped out to extinction by huge coalition of horselord Khanates.
It's really cute that you're gonna "defeat me with the power of love" and all, but again I am a red dragon from the Fire Planes, so I don't know how well that's gonna work.
Have a Cleric on standby to cast greater restoration during the...ahem, constimation process. And revivify if needed. Dragons gonna have a few millenia of frustrations to work out.
I don't know, I can see the dungeon master just rolling up a character letting the dragon polymorph into human form or elf or whatever they are into, and then join you in the adventure. congratulations you just got a borderline broken NPC joining your party, you could actually even have fun with it using them to salvage blown perception and history checks by having her know the stuff because she's been around for 400 years. and for the dungeon master a really cool big big moment of awesome for when the fighting the big evil guy who now finds out that one of the party members turns into a adult silver dragon to protect her snookums.
I'm kind of running a campaign that has a similar feel to this but a bit different. The PCs are escorting a platinum dragon in disguise who can't return to his normal form for religious reasons until he reaches a certain pilgrimage site, where he can basically take a break from adventuring/take a turn from his brothers guarding an interdimensional portal that protects the world from horrors. He is escorted by his personal bodyguards and his biographer (one of my old characters). But the PCs aren't actually "protecting" him, they're being interviewed for a job as his vassals and they don't know it yet. So, the party is all level 5, the NPCs are lvl 10 for the three bodyguards, level 12 for the humanoid form of the dragon, and level 20 for the biographer. But here's the thing. Only the level 12 attacks during combat, and he is a fighter who isn't really using his whole potential or a high damaging weapon. The way their life cycle works he basically has had to grind to level 20 from a enhanced level 1 multiple times, but he mostly has to do it on his own and he levels slower than mortals. So he always has loyal and capable bodyguards who keep him from dying but do little else to help when he travels. They don't aid the party in combat and in fact the party thinks these guys are just the wagon drivers for this rich nobleman, when in reality they are a druid, sorcerer, and rogue. The dragon is a tanky fighter who uses a whip to trip and disarm opponents, and who can enhance his AC and switch positions with allies or bait enemy reactions with battle master maneuvers, so I can put the party in more dangerous situations but he can't fully bail them out. He just tanks and distracts and gets a minion kill once or twice a turn at best. If he dies he loses this form for real, but returns to his draconic form and has access to all his past "lives", one for each age category. The biographer is a level 20 Bard who is kind of broken from making herself immortal through creating a network of sentient spell books/encyclopedias that contain her memories and soul, and can form clones of her. But she doesn't like to interfere, she just records. She has a contract with the leaders of both the metallic and chromatic dragons that she won't interfere unless they pay her penalty, and since dragons don't like losing the most important parts of their hoards he will only ask for her help in the most dire of emergencies. (At least, when it comes to fights between dragons. She'll act if the party decides to betray him, but she won't kill anyone. She basically just mind controls or illusions or teleports everyone away). Her stats are kind of completely broken, but mostly based off the bardic college that lets you add spells of different classes to the bard list and she does have more skills than she should because of the custom artifact. Basically her spell list is yes and number of spells per long rest is twice normal, with the both of them having access to untold riches because he is literally Bahamut's Child and she is an immortal ever curious halfling romani tinkerer who keeps detailed encyclopedic notes on how to craft all sorts of custom magic items and access to powerful divinations (as well as the fact the she has just personally witnessed and recorded a lot of important history in a magical book that literally lets you relive memories, which can lead to some interesting scenarios for PC adventures later on maybe) Basically their whole first adventure is like a big session zero where I see how they interact with this escort mission. The "nobleman" has everything they need to travel the dangerous region and highly magical forest they are traversing, but wants to see how much the party can fend for themselves while "protecting" him, and has offered them "a reward suited to their efforts" (which I can tease by having the wagons be custom magical items the Bard made that carry riches the party can't get a glimpse of without risking pissing off the nobleman, but also it keeps them from just steamrolling the guy and stealing untold treasure. Basically gives me an excuse to have any sort of plausible reward on hand for them when they finish the quest) The end of their quest will see them basically at a shrine in the heart of the world tree that leads to anywhere they want to go on a map of the world, with a patron who can ask them to perform tasks there and a way to return to home base if necessary. But before they can finish the quest they'll have to survive a big fight between a rival shadow dragon that wants to assassinate this "form" of the metallic one. He's a level twelve Barbarian/Dragon following the same rules as the Platinum one (he can't take dragon form unless his human form dies, in which case he loses it. So, he has an amulet with a once/day subtle dimension door he will use to escape if he is literally about to die, but he is both very hard to drop and has a couple of healer minions so he'll stay in the battle and even try to bribe the Biographer if necessary to keep his own Barbarian form alive and in the fight while finishing the warrior. So, basically the ultra high level NPCs do nothing but act disappointed if the party tries to betray them, but offers them serious rewards. But you have the opportunity to side with the Shadow Dragon and his hoard of bandits instead, in which case the Platinum dragon will just try and escape and you can start a bandit adventure career (with a built in big "good" who might start gunning for you once you start to become a nuisance to his world). But there are serious stakes in the fight between dragons if you decide to help the good guys fight off the hoard. If the party can't take down the minions fast enough the Barbarian Dragon will overwhelm the Warrior dragon, even with help, and even if he doesn't lose his life he will lose part of his hoard from having to bed the biographer to help and it will annoy him. So there are a number of different ways it can all play out in the end.
Recalling from what my DM/Friend said about seducing a dragon: Copper, Silver, Brass - Very likely to work. Bronze - Indiferent. Green - It has a Plan. Blu - Unlikely but possible, however if you suceed, then that Dragon has no acomplishments to its name. Red - You will be toasted by it as punishment for daring... if you suceed... wtf are you doing? You should be selling sand to a desert and become an Advisor. Black - You didnt seduce it, its playing with you before you die or it has a Plan. Gold - Problaby wandering wtf is wrong with you before telling you to leave. White - Youd have a easier time tricking the most feral of dragons then actually seducing it... assuming your not dead. Gems - I have no idea about this one cause there isnt much about them due to being absolute Hermits.
Topaz dragons would probably love you forever if you brought them giant squid on a regular basis, since that's their favorite food and they despise getting wet.
Laying on a bed of coins, tending to the half-dragon hatchlings I've sired and occasionally getting letters from the party sounds way WAY more pleasing than any retirement I'll get in real life.
Honestly that sounds like a fun NPC character.
Maybe a ‘tax collector’ who is extorting a town to pay gold or gifts to them and if they don’t the town will be[Torched, Melted, Electrocuted, Poisoned, Necrosis, Frozen, etc, etc].
Then have the party THINK it’s just some bandits with some magic at their fingertips and the leader is this ‘tax collector’. The party tails them…
The just to reveal that the gifts are actually just anniversary presents for their dragon husband/wife/significant other and their kids… and now you and the party is breaking and enter into their home.
Talk your way out or ROLL FOR INITIATIVE!
Relationship goals
You are NOT surviving that hatchling making, NO MATTER what genders
Plus the dragon is gonna protect you for dear life... Like if you've pissed off a king or a wizard or something boom protection. If it's a metallic dragon they can help the party... You've just gained an ally (Provided the party doesn't do something to anger it like burn down an orphanage.)
This demands more likes
Bard seduces a dragon. Player retires character. That's actually a win. Creating new characters whilst the old ones become NPC's.
Better, becomre an ally. So you can cll it with his dragon partner to help you during tough battle
DM: It was a young dragon... Your bard is now on the list...
Go to dragon Jail...
This is less of an issue as I doubt the dragon has any food for the player. So, realistically, it's a month or two tops.
Then how do the dragons survive? Obviously dragons eat adventurers that come along so the player would be forced to eat other people to survive@@SmallSpoonBrigade
@@vispev3123 Total nerd thing here. There was a book for 3.5 called the Draconomicon. Dragons don't actually need to eat anything to survive. They can live off of magic. They can, however, eat items to quite literally gain experience. Gold, magic items etc. Also, no self-respecting dragon WOULDN'T still have tons of actual good food that they can acquire. Just because it isn't directly beneficial, good food is still tasty and dragons love indulgence. :)
...Something tells me this guy is unaware of just how many people out there would consider this an absolute win.
Including me, who just did so a few days ago. Luckily that was a one-shot and that multiverse's version of my bard is living a happy life. (He's a dragonborn himself)
Well, your character might get to live that supposed dream, but you'll never get to play that character again. Unless you can convince your dm to play a one on one campaign with you. Most players don't dream of retiring their characters early.
Only down bad suspicious people consider this a win.
@@Cecceneror if you just like to make them mad
you are a sad, strange little man@@Ceccener
I actually love the idea of defeating a dragon only for the bards that seduced it over the years to all come screaming out of the cave "YOU KILLED MY LOVER!" and then phase 2 of the fight begins.
"Not AGAIN!!"
Bard cast revivify on dragon
@@nodot17
I like the idea that they don’t actually know any revival spells themselves and the entire phase is stopping them from digging through the dragon’s hoard to find scrolls of raise dead or revivify and undoing the whole fight.
Nah nah nah
"You killed my lover you unbridled insensitive bastards!" For some vicious mockery
(Can you tell I'm terrible with insults?)
@@polski_dezerternah that's pretty solid. Not a stab or a direct gunshot but, it does it's job.
They get: a dragon sugar daddy
I get: to insert my terrible corny lines through a shapeshifting dragon npc
An EXTREMELY stingy sugar daddy
@@louissteyn6871 Can't make it too easy on them, still have to be a DM after all.
@@jasonstormsong4940 I'm pretty sure if you described concept of investing to a dragon it's head will explode
DM does this mean i can take a level in warlock since i have a patron now?
@@Disatiere either that or you'll start sprouting sorcerer spell slots
*gasp* - The dragon considers us part of their treasure!? That's the most romantic thing a dungeon boss could do for your players!
Honestly, the good ending
@@theblackdragong8236I rolled
A Nat 20, you know what that means
@@theblackdragong8236 *rolls nat 20 in convincing party to visit every weekend for brunch and dinner*
Legitemately yeah, i fail to see the downside,
Get to be provided and cared for by one of THE most fearsome and inteligent creatures.
You, not "us". Proceed being devastated by your party folks eaten and be put into cauldron reeking of dragon magic to grow cute tail/ snort/scales/claws/wings bcs you are too valuable to perish from short mortal age and becoming a total sub in dragon love dynamics bcs dragons are not known for being social due to extreme greed for resources and arrogance.
I fully expected the line "The difference between the gold and you" to end with "is that you're fucked".
literally
if you want further information about how fucked you are google bad dragon
That would've been Gold! No pun intended!
That would indeed be a Gold Experience (definitely not a jojo reference/j)
Funny thing is I actually had an idea for a character like this.
He was a flirty bard, but never took it beyond that. When the party asks why he's not doing the usual "horny bard" schtick, he tells them he is happily married, and he doesn't want to piss off his wife who is a literal dragon.
The party laughs it off, assuming it's a joke. Then later his wife shows up and they realize "Oh fuck, he was serious".
The bard when his dragon wife shows up: Hi, sweetie!
one of my poor players not knowing at the time that the horny dragon who is a wise sage was Also planning on cheating on his mate with someone from the party. they ended up deciding he was creepie and turned him down, which Did lead to a "you turn me down puny creature?!" speech that only made them want to avoid him even More
Lol that sounds like such a brilliant story
That explains the princess getting "kidnapped" by a dragon trope.
Cause of kidnapping: beeing to nice to the big winged iguana outside of your home
Good princesses love bad dragons.
@@danielhall6477 I mean, Intimidation factor alone...
@@danielhall6477 the amount of power in this reply is enough to take down a dragon
Most princess are expected to learn some sort of instrument, to impress family and/or potential suitors.
So, in reality, they’re all Bards.
"My life married to a dragon" sounds like a fun ass roleplay I'm in. You sold me in the first half.
"Day 10000: I haven't seen the Sun for so long I forgotten what it feels like on my skin. I spent today like I spent yesterday, polishing the horde. And the sex, the sex never stops. Gods save me."
I actually built an antagonist in one of my stories like that, ~520 years before the story starts a dragon falls in love with a human who suddenly died in a world changing event, because of this the dragon curses her lover's soul to find a still-born to inhabit and take over, then she finds him so that he can fall for her all over again.
"Stick your dick in ancient and you'll never see the afterlife" has now become my play group's line when trying to talk down someone trying to get some dragussy
@@malkeus6487 not to mention no sane DM is going to take time out of the rest of the table to roleplay a single player's entire life of fantasy marriage.
its soounds like a Japanese Light Novel/Manga
Sounds like a Japanese anime too me tbh
Roll reversal I get kidnapped, and the dragon goes on an adventure to save me.
you know i agree with this
The ultimate prize of any bard is a silver dragon. They are EXTREMELY hard to get, but are willing to bring their hoard with them in order to join you on your adventures rather than the other way around and will go to EXTREME lengths to rescue you if aforementioned kidnapping happens. They also will never tire of you since the ephemeral nature of mortals is why they are fascinated with you in the first place. Unless you take a literal decade to make a decision on something, they won’t get bored.
@@alphastronghold715 Dragons are just such awesome creatures.
Balduran, is that you?
What I heard: "Roll reversal: I get kidnapped, and the dragon goes on a right proper draconic rampage to retrieve their hoard. Cities are put to the torch. Kingdoms are felled. At least one continent is sunk."
theyll find my skeleton with a crushed pelvis and my thumb held high
Death by snoo snoo
Every time I play The Bard class, I would put in, "has an extreme fetish for dragons", to see if the DM was reading the sheets, only one dm caught on 🤣
Did he laugh?
Or they all did and were just thinking "ok I'll let you have your fun"
This man is selling the dragon seduction route WAY more than he intended lmfao
Hey look at the benifits you may never have to hunt for food again....
It's all fun and games until the party abandons you to your fate and a booming draconic voice behind you tells you to hang up that computer call
I love this reference 😂
(s)he's feeling romantical
Fr 😩🍷
I will forever be spoiled by one of my First DMs ages ago. Told him straight up at session 0 that banging a dragon was on my power hungry wizards bucket list as he had heard it may or may not increase your magical abilities. Cut to 2 campaigns later, my Wizard had successfully wed himself to a silver whom outright refused to be further than 100 meters at all times and would go on a rampage killing anything in her way to return to his side. This made shopping and social sessions rather interesting but it all paid off in the end. We were woefully under equipped to deal with the big boss of the story. So I got the bright idea to teleport myself into a prison cell and left a fake ransom note next to my rucksack on where to find me. It wasn't 1 in-game hour my character woke to absolute chaos as she leveled the entire compound that would have taken us many sessions, ate the boss in one turn, grabbed my unconscious wizard from the rubble, and carried him off angrily into the sunrise never to be heard from again.
Sounds like a win-win-win to me. You got to beat the boss, the dragon gets to take you home, and the DM doesn't have to put up with your character anymore
Metalic dragons are good aligned. A silver dragon is Lawful Good. What you're describing are Chaotic Evil actions. Your DM didn't spoil you they made a somewhat interesting mechanic but seem to have ignored a few basic aspects.
To be fair this is you getting an engaging mechanic to play with, Not you character being taking away from you for playing the game like this post is implying should happen.
@@toolittletoolate Wee-woo, it's the fun police!
@@toolittletoolateJust because they are Lawful Good does not mean they are not Yandere. Their moral code says to protect their treasure at all costs, as that is the best way to make a difference in the world: the bigger their hoard, the more influence they wield to make the world a better place. It would be evil to lock away their sentient lover away in their cave until their last days, so they let their lover have their freedom. However, they still must protect their treasure at all costs, as their lover is key to having a family, a family that can change the world if it gets big enough. So at the very end, where their lover is “kidnapped” by the BBEG, that’s the last straw. They must get to their lover as fast as possible, and the BBEG is just an inconvenient obstacle between them and said lover.
It’s totally possible for a Lawful Good dragon to act as OP describes 🤣
@@boomkruncher325zzshred5 Not to mention, I feel like a Silver would have no issues with decimating a Chaotic Evil who stole their treasure, just as you described lmao
The bard motto: "I fucked my way in to this mess, I'll fuck my way out!"
Oh yeah!
She is going to need a break at some point, then you dip out.
Real asf
Someone get the bard a pipe and some ale, he's gonna be wiped after escaping the dragon
Riiiiiiight. Because dragons are famous for letting their treasure go....you can NOT run far enough.
The bad news: You're married to a dragon now.
The good news: You're married to a dragon now.
Think of the possibilities! You will be loved and protected by one of the most powerful and dangerous creatures to ever exist. You could learn the secrets of dragon lore and magic, perhaps even learn to shapeshift and become a dragon yourself. You will never be poor again. You don't have to worry about that stupid dysfunctional adventuring party of murder-hobos anymore - they can solve their own problems because you're too busy living your best life while being MARRIED TO A FREAKING DRAGON.
But yeah, better get ready to roll a new character.
lol
Facts! 😌
Better get that pelvis heal spell ready or something, because it's gonna turn into dust.
Nah, i say we deploy the Kingmaker rules... SO. MANY. FRIGGING. BUILD. POINTS. @.@
@@Muchac54328so many bards get thier pelvis crushed
All im hearing you move in with your powerful, loving, loyal and rich significant other.
Seduced a dragon once
DM took this opportunity to turn him into an actually cool and maybe funny gag character through: “Dragon transforming into their human form to join the party and doesn’t understand social awareness” and actually took the time to develop their character
By the end of the campaign, the dragons first achievement in society is being able to buy meat on his own without accidentally threatening the butcher
I imagine the piece of meat hanging from his mouth as he returns to you guys with sparkle in his eyes, telling you "He said goodbye !" muffled by the meat.
@@aelegriniv1649 That's so f*cking adorable, how dare you make me picture that!
this would make a funny anime
personally if i was a dnd master i would let you keep the dragons mwhahahaha. but as a consequence horrors untold would sense the dragons presence near their territories and come looking for fights.
I solved this problem with my players wanting to seduce everything by explaining the anatomical difference between the species, and that not every dragon is comfortable in human form. They stopped that BS right away. "You WILL die, death by snu snu"
All the draconic bloodline sorcerers come in all "Yeah my parents are wacky, yo. ANYWAYS..."
often those are grand or great grandchildren, but still funny.
@@zeehero7280 exactly, probably doesn't stop the wacky train.
Grandpa was a bard, and Grandma was an Elder Wyrm. Anyways, that's why I play music while casting spells via my bloodline
"I hear it started with a bet..."
@@zeehero7280 Still require the dragon and the non-dragon to make babies to get grandchildren/greatgrandchildren.
Reminds me of when our party stumbled into a silver dragon's lair and she thought we were there to slay her. Our bard tried to do what all bards do and failed. Miserably.
And for his troubles, he was half frozen in a chunk of ice while my character, who only spoke a smattering of dragon, tried to go for diplomacy. However, my character screwed up the translation and accidentally proposed to the dragon in exchange for letting us all live and leave peacefully.
The dragon accepted and decided to let my character keep adventuring so long as he always came home for the winter. All in all, it was actually a pretty good situation for my dude.
That's actually kinda sweet. makes me envious you had such a good ending out of a bad roll
Mission failed- Successfully.
Jokes aside, I bet that bard was jealous of you after that XD
That's incredible.
You fool, this is an absolute win, especially if the dragon knows how to shapeshift.
Gives the skeletons littered around the lair a new perspective… not slayers but successful suitors
To quote a guy about to be snu-snu'd to death and the one about to do that to him:
"What'd they die of?"
"Crushed pelvises."
Successful layers* ;D
@@duncanm9818I see what you did there
@@JohnPeacekeeper That's why you always take top...
Not Slayers but layers
“You’re not gonna make cute little dragon babies.” Where do you think draconic bloodline sorcerers come from?
In 3rd edition (3.5) Dungeons and Dragons, they had a half dragon version of just about anything you could imagine. So, yeah, you probably will have little draconic children running around some day!
Experiments and mistakes.
They do have an official race breeding chart and humans and dragons are compatible in the world of the forgotten realms
even goblins have some dragon blood
they must have had obtained it somehow
@@rosehearttoxic1691also can't the majority of dragons shape-shift into other forms so that even if they weren't compatible in their normal form they could be in another?
1:12 : yes it is like shrek. Where do you think half-dragons and sorcerers come from!
exactly
I am of the opinion that dragons are the second horniest race in fantasy, only behind humans. Some sort of polymorph is almost always in their abilities so they can change to fit with any mate and the presence of a dragon bloodline giving/boosting magic is a common trope in various settings.
Pretty sure the original idea was that they were made through some kind of ritual or other magic bullshit.
Ah who am I kidding
@@Coren024 That fits with their mythology, as incarnations of sin. Lust is a sin, after all. That's why traditional eastern dragons don't follow the same tropes, they weren't imagined by Christians.
What part about "breeds with anything" do you not understand?
Seduce a copper dragon. Now you go on adventures and always have a good time.
Yep. In my situation (new DM and a young copper dragon), dragon was just as interested in me, as I was in it. Turns out, copper dragons kinda like bards, and this young copper dragon hadn't seen very many elves before so it was highly curious and intrigued by me. As for my case, my character had a few 'interests', which a dragon was kinda a good fit for 😅.
DM also used it as an 'out' for me, the few times I wasn't able to attend the weekly session, the DM would play it off as that the dragon came and took me away for a bit and that's why sometimes I would just 'vanish' from the party. DM definitely never threw in a bit of extra details which left the party asking my character some embarrassing questions sometimes 😅.
Counter argument:
I tell my newly seduced dragon that if it lets me go out into the world I'll keep bringing more and more shiny treasures to add to her hoard.
I'm pretty sure this is how dragon sorcerers get started! 👍
Nope. You're too precious to risk. Plus, would a dragon loan out a major magic item even to someone she trusts on the aegis of being brought more treasure for her "investment"? She's dragon greedy, not Wall Street greedy. Although, that might make a good party patron premise.
Roll persuasion
@@JaminInDarkness She can polymorph into a human/half-dragon form and adventure with you, bada bing bada bam
@@Narutorz and leave their mountains of gold unguarded? I think not
I remember a scenario where this happened and I managed to convince the dragon that I would return to a dowry for myself as I felt that it wasn’t right for me to be with the dragon without adding to the hoard and rolled another 20 to get it to agree so fast forward to me being level 20 and the party has just defeated the big bad who I gave the name muk due to him muking up all his chances in life but anyways I used wish to true polymorph into a brass dragon and make it permanent before coming back to the dragon adding to the hoard as promised since she hates breaking her promises the last scene was their eggs hatching
Keeping your promises like a true hero! *Proud clapping*
@@rishoh*Oh, there was definitely clapping, alright.* ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
@@Lunam_D._Roger I believe you're confusing clapping with plapping. it an easy mistake to make.
Well at least you’re not a deadbeat, good on your character I guess…
Surprisingly wholesome :)
Roll a nat 20 persuasion check to convince the Dragon to adventure with you and your party so you can accrue a dowry for the inevitable wedding. And tuition for any little dragon babies.
Even better, convince the dragon to start a kingdom with you.
@@Sly-Moose It certainly could be one of the goals of the adventure to be sure. 😃
Little dergy hatchlings
on our next episode of the dungeon master is actually having an aneurism lol
Indeed, unless tis a female dragon at which point it decides on what size dowry is required for the marriage. If you did especially well, it might waive that ... fee >.> Only time not to roll a natural 20
This video's line on "you're not going to have little donkey-dragon hybrid babies" is very funny to us because in the one scenario that we did seduce a dragon in D&D the DM did, in fact, make it canon that we successfully had kids with the dragon. Future campaign had one of our descendants. We were playing a construct who got polymorphed into a flesh person at the time which you would think would lower the chances but when you follow your dreams all is possible.
This is how you get sorcerers down the line, so it's canon. First you get half-dragons, of course, but their great, great grandchildren will be sorcerers.
You say that like it's a bad thing... Sounds like a good retirement package to me. Die in combat? Nahh.
Reminder: only metallics can polymorph.
The average adult red dragon is 40 feet long and weighs 5000 pounds. Males are tops, females are dominating. They also have a body temperature of about 3000 degrees when NOT in heat.
Good luck with that!
@@alphastronghold715 I mean, red dragons may have that temp but that can't be All of them. Beyond that... Look, I'm a weird guy into weird things.
@@alphastronghold715 So what you’re saying is that red dragons are super hot?
@@Kipwich In more ways than one, yeah :D
@@alphastronghold715worth it
Uno reverse: force the dungeonmaster to actually run the scenario of your life as a dragon's house spouse.
*the DM hands you a volume of "kobayashi's dragon maid" and tells you to skip the parts when kobayashi leaves the house*
I laughed way too hard at this
Includes someone singing “somewhere that’s green”
Roll for the dragon's intelligence. They have to be smart enough to feed you and understand that humans eat vegetables and bread as well as meat. 😂
excuse you, that dragon is a HOMEOWNER. my character is securing their future in this turbulent fantasy economy regularly upended by these bloody conniving gods and wizards and their property damage...
😂😂
"So hear me out babe, I got this spell called 'polymorpth'..."
and you use polymorpth on the dragon to turn it into a woman your size and then... kill her during the... romance stuff?
Don't worry, your dragonborn children will save the world somewhere down the line.
Edit: Holy cow I just checked in here that's a lot of attention
Or sorcerers
Half-dragons actually.
Which are basically dragonborns with tail and wings...
Half-dragon or Dragon sorcerers. Presumably normal dragons can also come from the union if you’re compatible enough for the other combinations. Very diverse family photos are in the future.
@@XerothereaperI blame wizards of the coast for giving us so little information on where dragonborn actually come from in the phb thatwe have to dig around to find out about a whole alternate dimension.
As a person who did not seduce a dragon but instead is currently playing as a half-dragon: "Love ya mom, I'm off to save the world from Vecna now"
"I want you to take one look at this thing and say "yup, yeah, I wanna marry that'."
...
Yup, yeah, I wanna marry that
Not to mention, lots of dragons can shapeshift, no?
@@Heldemon Canonically, only Metallic dragons can. So gold, silver, copper, brass, and bronze. Colored dragons (red, blue, green, white, and black) cannot. But that's not in every edition of DnD, nor does it stop you from homebrewing it so they can.
What makes that even better, is that if the dragon was truly enamored with you, it would choose a hummanoid form that was to your liking. Got a thing for elves? Your big dragon is now an elf. You want them to stay scaly? Dragonborn dragon SO. Prefer shorties? Gnome dragon SO. Prefer tall people who can crush your head between their forearm and bicep? Orc dragon SO.
Yup, yeah. Ill seduce a dragon any day to annoy a dungeon master.
@@choryllis6646 yeah i guess it makes sense to make them shapeshift so they won´t crush me under their weight
@@EquestrianPeludo Hehehehe...
I don’t know much about D&D, but this “Seducing a Dragon” thing honestly feels like the D&D equivalent of Fallout’s infamous “Fucking a Deathclaw” meme.
Yeah pretty much, both big scary scaly things, except dragons in dnd are CRAZY possessive of their belongings, the whole “never letting you leave” thing is no joke, if you did this your pretty much signing yourself off to slavery.
TFW no big-titty Deathclaw wife
@@bennet2347 hey, if its a metallic dragon at least you'll be comfortable in your imprisonment. The Dragon would be sure to "acquire" things to keep you happy while you're locked up in its lair forever.
@@bennet2347 I mean to be fair, both metallic and chromatic dragons canonically fuck humanoids and misc literally all the time. The draconomicon isn't just there for shits and giggles, and half-dragons don't just appear from the ether. You MIGHT wind up kept as a treasure for all of time if it really likes you, but that's honestly the good end, because, again, it's canonical that dragons can reproduce with just about anything that reproduces (especially the shapeshifting dragons) and that the dragon blood breeds true. So the actual likely ending is not, in fact, being precious treasure for eternity, it's having an extremely traumatic birth in HOPEFULLY nine months and then having a baby that can breathe fire and a dad that may or may not be interested in that fact. 🤣
It helps that most of the older dragons can shapeshift through some means or another in most editions.
From Cami-cat's "Life of a Bard"
"Well hi! Elder Dragon of Gold
Your scales are stunning! Your character bold!
Can we see your hoard? We've been searching for miles.
Maybe I could be the greatest Gem in your pile!"
I like how he says "her...or him, whatever you're into" while actively shaming the player for being into the dragon.
duality of Dm
Because the problem isn't the dragon's gender. It's the fact that THE PLAYER SEDUCED A DRAGON!
@@witherschat Dragon gender isn't an issue for the DM but might have very considerable... lets say anatomical consequences for the player character.
That just means "taco or hotdog" for the player character
@@witherschat Point?
Hi. I'm a dragon. Choose your next words very carefully if you want to not be ashes.
See, this is why you seduce either a Metallic Dragon who is more comfortable with hanging out with humanity on a daily basis, or a Chromatic Dragon who has a vast ambition to rule over the world.
i prefer a chunky red dragoness.
@@DragonProtector She can be chunky and want to rule the world
Yupp. Keeping it to Metallic means you are less likely to be put in a little Bird Cage for the Dragon to gawk at.
I actually have this as a plotline in my campaign, where a bard from a former party of adventurers managed to seduce/entertain a copper dragon (who can assume human form) and convince him to join him on his venture of opening an ethical brothel. Now they are co-owners of the brothel and the dragon is thus a shareholder and gains monthly profits, increasing his horde, while hanging out with and playing jokes on his lover(s).
@@Nightraven26 lovers plural? what the fuck metallic dragons are supposed to be the good guys not herpes machines
Can't believe she's got literal hoards of gold, but I still gotta pay child support.
She probably doesn't want to risk the IRS coming by because she paid the tuition with stolen gold
@@jordanhunter3375 Dragons afraid of the IRS? I'm TERRIFIED.
@@flamaniax5728 Even Joker from Batman was afraid of the IRS.
It's the baby's hoard
My Paladin helped a Copper Dragon in her ambition and charmed her. Hooked up whilst she was in her human form, got her pregnant, and now the next campaign I'm playing their half dragon son.
That's fucking awesome. I hope that campaign is going well.
Bard: “Smash.”
Dragon: *Smashes*
Bard: *Dies*
DM: “Okay, go re-roll your character.”
“You’re not gonna make cute little dragon babies.” YOU DONT KNOW THAT
Life finds a way.
At the very least... you'll make Half-Dragon babies, if you survive the birth, because I get different views on them being born.
Well not if your playing as a bugbear or goblin.
I mean... where do you guys think Dragonborn and reptilian Kobolds come from?
Well if you play the "DND Waifu edition" it should technically be possible
"You're not gonna make cute little dragon babies"
...
...
...
Challenge Accepted
"Pal, where you think half-dragons come from?"
The bard and his dragon wiafu going on a walk with theyr adorable eggs inside a stroller: are you sure about that?
@@arkdraellhelldrake4079 "Where do you think dragonborn came from?"
This man has determination.
Not with that attitude......
While I was a DM a player went carousing and rolled a 1 during a drinking contest. Has him wake up with a girl who turned out to be a transformed song dragon. Later revealed to him that a love potion was in the drink, all part of the bad guys plan to create a child to fulfil a prophecy of doom. Look on his face during BBEG monologue was priceless.
bro had enough of the bards shenanigans
Dude, you're an evil genius.
1:12
"You're not gonna make cute little donkey-dragon babies"
That's right!
We gonna make dragonborns XD
Jokes on you, you just accidently created a scenario the players liked, and now they want offer new items to the horde and now the logistics of a Draconic wedding are because you're table enjoys romantic anime far more than you ever realized. Have fun with your tsundere gnome bard attached at the hip of Akyxxaxia, Blighter of Worlds.
Jokes on you, I'm into that.
Also, I'm totally getting little dragon babies, dragons are extremely magically fertile and can breed with ANYTHING. So making halfdragons is the norm.
That’s exactly my thought process 😂 Hell yeah! Have ALL the dragon babies!
i hope you're the male one, otherwhise you gonna be a onahole...
Your party can now breed Dragonborn members like Pokémon.
Donkey joined the chat
Speaking of Donkey and Dragon: Instead of my character seducing the dragon for himself, can I act as a wingman for my mount?
Sure just roll a nat20
@@taintwasher3703*rolls Nat 20*
No
@@taintwasher3703 5% chance of not being mauled/burned/frozen/melted to death
I like those odds
@@matheussanthiago9685Right.
"Nat 20! So, my mount and the dragon get frisky?"
"No, the dragon decides to laugh at your audacious joke rather than immediately kill you"
"I said slay the dragon, not lay the dragon."
Instructions unclear: I am now a father.
there is a Manga named Dragon-Half that starts on that premise, the main character is the daughter of a female red dragon with a knight who was sent to slay said dragon.
i guess he forgot a letter around the way.
The response of this entire comment section:" ssssssss"
I understood the instructions. Me seducing the dragon and having 7 dragonborn children just...happened.
Potayto, Potahto...
My character's response (Hot Elf Sorceress/Bard):
*Turns to the Dragon* "Hey! I know you are a Red Dragon but how would you like to know what it is like to save the world cause there is a Lich and I hear he has a big enough hoard that we could buy a castle of our own to live in with your horde stored and have a comfortable life after. What do you say?"
Roll for persuasion
@@محمدعامر-س7لI got an 8. What happens next?
@@jollycooperation7446your new dragon spouse looks at you and you can see their disapproval.
*hoard
@@محمدعامر-س7ل (I actually rolled a d20 for this) 16, CHA is +5.
"You are not donkey"
... Is that a challenge?! Hand me my character sheet, I am making a donkey into an adventurer!
Druid walking in the room so hard the door slams both ways.
Druid: " I'm not a what? say that again I dare you mother fucker. I'm a snake, a spider ,a bear and several animals that aren't even real irl."
Alternately: just play a druid lol
I’ll accompany you by making an ogre.
There is also the Dragons that just decide to eat you whole in order to "stay together forever". Since you will then be a part of their being.. Dragons are a wild bunch.
I mean, thats one way to do that, but there are other, more.. exotic ways of achieving the same effect
Some people would be into that…
Character is retired after seducing dragon...character comes back later as an npc that has convinced the dragon to help his/her former party as a supportive partner.
NPCs Dragon wife helps defeat monster, in exchange you get to continue on, and she gets all the meat.
please make more of these, have one called "so you built a nuke"
I love meself some artificer and I have no regrets
sorry you hate fun.
lv21 artificer
So you killed the BBEG in the first session...
guess you shouldn't have had a "bbeg" since it's not a video game
This could definitely be a regular format, and an unironically good/funny tool for dms. Other ideas:
- You killed a foundational god.
- You created the peasant railgun.
- You broke the economy.
- You committed a war crime.
The appropriate response to the party developing a peasant rail gun is to have the make one for himself. Good luck playing Battleship with rail guns.
Peasant railgun is a classic DnD meme. XD
- You toppled a small government.
Biden already did that third one so you can check that off since you probably want less reality in your fantasy
All four of these ideas sound like they'd probably be fulfilled with the same action.
Seducing a dragon is the number one moment to rule on the "nat 20 is the best POSSIBLE result"
Dungeon master: congrats, you seduced the dragon! now to roll for bludgeoning damage!
Player: For. what?
Dungeon master: it was a male dragon.
Piercing might be more accurate
@@GPG7211 could be a "tailwhip" if you catch my drift
😳 oh no
Even if it’s female, your pelvis is still gonna be powder
🥴
"Congratulations you successfully seduced the dragon! ... now roll impaling damage."
Is it called a blunt or a crush roll if it's female
Roll for anal circumference!
@@louissteyn6871 🤓
🎵GORY, GORY, WHAT A HELLUVA WAY TO DIE!🎵
@@Wasser_SaftBuddy this is literally a nerds channel, every single person who clicked on this video including you is a 🤓 by default.
I actually had this happen with a player, they fully accepted the consequences of their actions and their children became NPCs for a future campaign
Ok but that runs the risk of this horny fuck seducing said children with another character...
I like this idea and I plan to use it as a player or a dm.
Dragon:Honey breakfast is ready
Bard:darling that is a living sheep
Joke's on you, I'm playing a dragon too, and there was no love involved, just pure distraction while my minions... I mean party steal their hoard.
bard: i seduce the dragon. i rolled nat 20
DM: okay, roll for damage......he's a top
“Roll Fortitude. He’s going in dry.”
Bard: I cast Warding Bond on the Paladin.
Willing target? @@darienb1127
@@darienb1127Warding Bond works the other way around. It's the caster who takes the damage for the target, not the opposite.
@@axanarahyanda628 so, not only the 10d6 bludgeoning and 10d6 piercing damage, but an extra 5d6 psychic damage as well lol.
You do realize the irony of talking about becoming the sex slave of a dragon with the words “dungeon master” written behind you…
“Sorry if I disappointed you master, I understand I must be punished.”
Kinky.
Didn’t notice it until now, thanks because of a wonderful joke
Does that mean that this literally just turned into a sex dungeon?
I am not sure I am really ready for that level game play
When 'dungeons and dragons' ends up turning into 'dragons and dungeons 😈' for the lucky bard, the DM plays the dragon which becomes the bard's new 'dungeon master' 😅
"The dragon finds your proposition pleasing. It scoops you up, locks you in a fairly comfortable cell at the back of its lair, and adds your name to the list of eligible future mating partners to be kept secure and healthy until it next comes into season. It then nods politely to the captives - some of them quite elderly - in the dozen other cells next to yours, tells you 'See you in fifty years, darling!', and leaves."
Totally sending this to the bard
Bard is like Uranus - the jokes about him are infinite. This is why I never had bard character.
sorry you hate fun.
@@mrosskne wdym hate fun, I would be having fun by doing this to bard.
This is how dragon bloodline sorcerers get made
The Khalissi enters the chat
DRAGONBORN PARTY MEMBER: "Don't get eaten like my last several stepdads. I warned you, bro."
I clicked on this video expecting to hear some form of drawback or negative consequence yet there was none.
yeah, something like "he's going to try and mate with you. take 12d4 piercing damage
Me: "....I'm ok with this."
“Love knows no boundaries!”
Yeah, seeing the sun is overrated.
Yeah fr, i wouldn't mind actually lmao
Same
@@noseboop4354if your lucky and end up with a metallic dragon then they will probably treat you with some respect and let u see the sun light
bro what are you talking about, this is the good ending.
Now is when you roll up your new character, a draconic bloodline sorcerer.
"The babies have decided to play with you, you take 65 crushing damage".
U pointing out all the "negatives"
Me: i see this as an absolute win
57 inches long. 11 inches in girth. You lose. Fatality.
🩸 🩸 🩸
@@freedustin id say more like massive win
You underrestimate the horny UwU @@freedustin
@@freedustin ok and
@@deathblade8107 how is bleeding out a win?
It's worse when after you role to seduce the dragon, the dm says "well you succeeded to lay the dragon but there is one small problem, the dragon is into vore"
Eh, better than dying of “piercing damage” when it turns out the dragon is male
@@ChewedBubbleGun lmao
Joke's on you, that was my goal all along!
Jokes on you I'm into that shit
this is a win
I see this as an absolute win. "Have fun without me guys! I'mma be slaying dragoon poon till the world ends in about 2 weeks!"
Or you could talk her into helping fight the big bad by saying that if they destroy the world, her horde will also be destroyed.
What makes this video hilarious is how detailed he goes into what he believes in the ultimate fuck up. Like he had this explanation waiting in the wings and was just looking for an excuse to use it.
Don’t threaten me with a good time.
Spike icon
It's a male dragon roll a constitution check.
@@reidheidler5138Spikon, if you will.
"your not gonna make cute little donkey dragon babies"
correction i will make a sorcerer as the child of said dragon and bard. maybe make them economically challenged cause at home they have so much gold or introverted cause they grew up literally with no one or something.
As someone who prefers isolation, I see this as an absolute win to be literally treasured.
My idea for if a player does this: is you give them an annoying dragon hatchlings that they cant get rid of. It breaks stealth very often, bites you during rests, and burns or acid spits your armor so you constantly have to repair it.
Bet they wont wanna try to get another child then
The amount of love for dragons, and the just acceptance of it is making me really happy
Give me a little section of the cave, help me get all the things I want, and I’d happily be a dragon’s husband
I guess that’s one way to make a new character. As time eventually passes you’ll become a half dragon child of your previous character
This sound less of a "You Pissed Off the DM" issue, and more of "the DM lacks imagination".
I love this idea. However I also love the idea of all dragons being able to shape-shift into humans.
So when my player did this I was like "alright she shape shifts into a human form. Being a gorgeous woman. You have a wonderful night. However....you notice your coin pouch feels lighter and they will not let go of you.
They convinced the dragon join the party. However this came with her constantly wanting more gold from her partner. Who would then constantly go out buying whatever she wanted to add to her hoard. She also would not let them out of her sight.
Yes. They seduced the dragon. But now they have the mother of all clingy girlfriends, Who views them as a sugar daddy.
Basically. "Okay..but would you actually want to?" 😂
This. If a DM gets mad at something silly like this, it's probably better to not DM altogether. It shows lack of creativity and that they take their games way more seriously than anyone ever will, so players are likely to just stop caring and leave over time anyway.
Imagination, or integrity. If it fits your campaign's story and setting, by all means add some wacky consequences and spice up your story with them. If it doesn't, then the nat20 seduction should just cause the dragon to tolerate your presence for a while longer... and, of course, you should indicate your campaign's dragon-kissing quotient to the players in advance, so they know what they're in for. AND you also have to keep in mind that the more shenanigans you curtail, the more entertainment you have to provide on your own.
Overall, I believe DMs should be able to do whatever they want as long as everyone's on the same page. Serious adventures, silly adventures, open-ended adventures, linear adventures, they can all be fun in their own way.
@@cobaltblu4196Only a weak person would want a human form. Defeats the purpose of laying with a dragon
@@lordninetails514exactly, it should at least polymorph into a smaller more compatible version of itself or into a dragonborn with more dragon added in
Or ya know, could always have the dragon sneeze during coitus while on top and "accidentally" turn full size mid-act.
It would still fit in a human female seeing as Dragons keep the size ratios of reptiles. A 33 foot dragon would only have a 1.5" long...
@@AltaniNerdAuRabut isnt the question girth?
@@noahthebongoerand worse ,girth-zhanki
@@AltaniNerdAuRaDepends on the reptile. It could be that short, but it’s unlikely. From what little we know about dinosaur reproduction, it could be as short as 1’ due to the relationship with modern birds and reptiles; but more likely it would be significantly larger to accommodate for the unique requirements of a creature of such mass.
In order for creatures of that size to not kill each other, it would be something more like 4-7’, to potentially 10-15’ long depending on their relationship to birds (Argentine lake ducks are heckin’ weird my guy).
not how magic works.
What really be funny is the dragon brings out a glass jar
💀
NOT THE RAINBOW PONY JAR!
With holes in the lid. And a giant eyedropper filled with water and a layer of moss that sprouts edible mushrooms.
@@homebrewisthebestbrew5270As long as the dragon is providing me plenty of enrichment that actually sounds like a pretty sweet deal 😅
A literal gilded cage
"Friends, this is where I leave you and put the 'ho' in 'hoard'."
3 of my players rn.
We once met a traveling Wizard who sometimes told about her husband. Later on we discovered that this husband, who we met a few times in a pretty big but precise area, turned out to be a Silver Dragon. There was also a seemingly very ancient oracle lady who turned into an ancient Golden dragon near the end of our campaign and there's a desert empire with a whole set of obscure desert nobles who seem to have their own hierarchies with princes, dukes, counts and kings. Which is completely different from the hierarchy of the standard nobility of the empire or the mages' faction that actually runs the country. These guys turned out to be all blue dragons.
Our DM's world has a lot of fun dragon lore. Dragons are rare. They're like actual legendary creatures with some even believing they don't exist. Only two truly big groups of dragons ever lived. A very ancient black dragon Greatwyrm (a really fat one) who had an entire kingdom of sons and daughters that reached up to ancient themselves. And the blue dragons, who are more eachother's enemies if anything else. An honorable mention is the first red dragon. Easily the strongest dragon and presumably the Chromatic equivalent of the aforementioned Oracle. The Blue Dragons are constantly kept in check by the empire they live in and the Black Dragons being almost wiped out to extinction by huge coalition of horselord Khanates.
"I convince the dragon to join our quest in search for more treasure for her mighty hoard."
And now we have a dragon npc, and back on the quest line
Seducing the dragon is actually how draconic booodline sorcerors are born. It IS like shrek!
It's really cute that you're gonna "defeat me with the power of love" and all, but again I am a red dragon from the Fire Planes, so I don't know how well that's gonna work.
You assume the intention wasn't to have a long and meaningful relationship with the dragon.
Your honor I don’t even play dnd this just got recommended to me by my UA-cam recommendations
Well sayd im in the saym Pickel as you my good sir
Counter argument: The real treasure is the relationships we make along the journey of life
Look, the Lunar Dragon took out ship and our cleric. SOMEBODY needed to distract her 😂
Now combine this with the "but your the bottom" comic scenario and make them do endurance checks every turn eventually their pelvis gonna be atoms 😂
Death by snu snu!
Death Ward my freind. Death Ward.
Have a Cleric on standby to cast greater restoration during the...ahem, constimation process. And revivify if needed.
Dragons gonna have a few millenia of frustrations to work out.
DM: "Congratulations. You seduced the dragon. Good news! He's male, he's a top and he's ready to go. Roll a CON save."
@@drakkondarkspell Hell yeah dragon husband with my potions of fire resistance.
I don't know, I can see the dungeon master just rolling up a character letting the dragon polymorph into human form or elf or whatever they are into, and then join you in the adventure. congratulations you just got a borderline broken NPC joining your party, you could actually even have fun with it using them to salvage blown perception and history checks by having her know the stuff because she's been around for 400 years. and for the dungeon master a really cool big big moment of awesome for when the fighting the big evil guy who now finds out that one of the party members turns into a adult silver dragon to protect her snookums.
You would have to rebalance encounters though.
Feels like it'd make the game too easy and make the party too reliant on the dragon, but otherwise this would be a pretty cool concept
Could do as a one off campaign where dragons w/human companions are more prevalent, like some weird backwards version of Pokemon@@59foofighter15
I'm kind of running a campaign that has a similar feel to this but a bit different. The PCs are escorting a platinum dragon in disguise who can't return to his normal form for religious reasons until he reaches a certain pilgrimage site, where he can basically take a break from adventuring/take a turn from his brothers guarding an interdimensional portal that protects the world from horrors. He is escorted by his personal bodyguards and his biographer (one of my old characters). But the PCs aren't actually "protecting" him, they're being interviewed for a job as his vassals and they don't know it yet.
So, the party is all level 5, the NPCs are lvl 10 for the three bodyguards, level 12 for the humanoid form of the dragon, and level 20 for the biographer. But here's the thing. Only the level 12 attacks during combat, and he is a fighter who isn't really using his whole potential or a high damaging weapon. The way their life cycle works he basically has had to grind to level 20 from a enhanced level 1 multiple times, but he mostly has to do it on his own and he levels slower than mortals. So he always has loyal and capable bodyguards who keep him from dying but do little else to help when he travels. They don't aid the party in combat and in fact the party thinks these guys are just the wagon drivers for this rich nobleman, when in reality they are a druid, sorcerer, and rogue.
The dragon is a tanky fighter who uses a whip to trip and disarm opponents, and who can enhance his AC and switch positions with allies or bait enemy reactions with battle master maneuvers, so I can put the party in more dangerous situations but he can't fully bail them out. He just tanks and distracts and gets a minion kill once or twice a turn at best. If he dies he loses this form for real, but returns to his draconic form and has access to all his past "lives", one for each age category.
The biographer is a level 20 Bard who is kind of broken from making herself immortal through creating a network of sentient spell books/encyclopedias that contain her memories and soul, and can form clones of her. But she doesn't like to interfere, she just records. She has a contract with the leaders of both the metallic and chromatic dragons that she won't interfere unless they pay her penalty, and since dragons don't like losing the most important parts of their hoards he will only ask for her help in the most dire of emergencies. (At least, when it comes to fights between dragons. She'll act if the party decides to betray him, but she won't kill anyone. She basically just mind controls or illusions or teleports everyone away). Her stats are kind of completely broken, but mostly based off the bardic college that lets you add spells of different classes to the bard list and she does have more skills than she should because of the custom artifact. Basically her spell list is yes and number of spells per long rest is twice normal, with the both of them having access to untold riches because he is literally Bahamut's Child and she is an immortal ever curious halfling romani tinkerer who keeps detailed encyclopedic notes on how to craft all sorts of custom magic items and access to powerful divinations (as well as the fact the she has just personally witnessed and recorded a lot of important history in a magical book that literally lets you relive memories, which can lead to some interesting scenarios for PC adventures later on maybe)
Basically their whole first adventure is like a big session zero where I see how they interact with this escort mission. The "nobleman" has everything they need to travel the dangerous region and highly magical forest they are traversing, but wants to see how much the party can fend for themselves while "protecting" him, and has offered them "a reward suited to their efforts" (which I can tease by having the wagons be custom magical items the Bard made that carry riches the party can't get a glimpse of without risking pissing off the nobleman, but also it keeps them from just steamrolling the guy and stealing untold treasure. Basically gives me an excuse to have any sort of plausible reward on hand for them when they finish the quest)
The end of their quest will see them basically at a shrine in the heart of the world tree that leads to anywhere they want to go on a map of the world, with a patron who can ask them to perform tasks there and a way to return to home base if necessary.
But before they can finish the quest they'll have to survive a big fight between a rival shadow dragon that wants to assassinate this "form" of the metallic one. He's a level twelve Barbarian/Dragon following the same rules as the Platinum one (he can't take dragon form unless his human form dies, in which case he loses it. So, he has an amulet with a once/day subtle dimension door he will use to escape if he is literally about to die, but he is both very hard to drop and has a couple of healer minions so he'll stay in the battle and even try to bribe the Biographer if necessary to keep his own Barbarian form alive and in the fight while finishing the warrior.
So, basically the ultra high level NPCs do nothing but act disappointed if the party tries to betray them, but offers them serious rewards. But you have the opportunity to side with the Shadow Dragon and his hoard of bandits instead, in which case the Platinum dragon will just try and escape and you can start a bandit adventure career (with a built in big "good" who might start gunning for you once you start to become a nuisance to his world). But there are serious stakes in the fight between dragons if you decide to help the good guys fight off the hoard. If the party can't take down the minions fast enough the Barbarian Dragon will overwhelm the Warrior dragon, even with help, and even if he doesn't lose his life he will lose part of his hoard from having to bed the biographer to help and it will annoy him. So there are a number of different ways it can all play out in the end.
@@gsgaming6976 not reading allat, but I know it's freaking awesome!
Recalling from what my DM/Friend said about seducing a dragon:
Copper, Silver, Brass - Very likely to work.
Bronze - Indiferent.
Green - It has a Plan.
Blu - Unlikely but possible, however if you suceed, then that Dragon has no acomplishments to its name.
Red - You will be toasted by it as punishment for daring... if you suceed... wtf are you doing? You should be selling sand to a desert and become an Advisor.
Black - You didnt seduce it, its playing with you before you die or it has a Plan.
Gold - Problaby wandering wtf is wrong with you before telling you to leave.
White - Youd have a easier time tricking the most feral of dragons then actually seducing it... assuming your not dead.
Gems - I have no idea about this one cause there isnt much about them due to being absolute Hermits.
Topaz dragons would probably love you forever if you brought them giant squid on a regular basis, since that's their favorite food and they despise getting wet.