This needs to be more common in the public discourse. It took me decades to figure out why I kept being sucked into abusive relationships. It is a real mindfuck when you need to go home to heal from a really toxic, draining situation, and the "safety net" is a more covert form of abuse. People don't have a chance to break out if they only ever believe the false narrative.
When I figured out that my mother is covert, so many pieces fell into place. It is something that no child wants to realize, and something that society doesn't want to accept, that not all mothers are warm and loving. It is counterculture. I am made out to be the difficult person, because I did not submit to my mother's narrative of my inner world.
Cool video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
I'd just like to comment that so many people are finding themselves in narcissistic relationships that this seems to be the new 'normal'. They act like toddlers for their whole life. It's all about them with the lying, acting and tantrums. So that says a lot about how we are evolving as a society. We need to address this urgently because right now, I don't think we can afford to let them get away with it any longer.
me and you share the same brain waves. what sucks is there is such a high number of narcs, born from our present society, by the means of accepting, and normalizing it, embracing it, is unreal. i have a hard time finding anyone who is not a part of the narc club, to one degree, or another. all relationships today, including marriage, that i personally view are based on a purely transactional forum, of what one is getting from the other. is this not a form of narcissism in its purest sense? you, as a human being, have been deleted from the equation.
6 months ago, after 27 years together, I came across the term covert narcissist. Bingo. All my confusion, dilemmas, ill health explained. I told her 2 weeks ago that she is a narc and I am having therapy for narcissistic abuse. Gates of Hell have opened. We have 2 young kids. Its a bloody nightmare. Stay strong ❤
So sorry for what you’re going through. Congrats for getting out early bc my kids think I’m The problem since they witnessed my reaction to his abuse and no therapist attempted to me on what I was describing. It took social media to teach me and like you it was a massive aha moment of my experience - I was married to this person for 27 years, together for 35 before I finally figured it out. Just fyi from what I’ve learned, You’re never supposed to tell them that they’re a narcissist😬 however I had to talk to mine recently and though I feel healed and prepared and mostly not reactive anymore, it came out like Stephanie says - i screamed it
Bloody nightmare indeed. Just wait, you’re only getting started. Get out. Like now. Live in your car if you have too and yes stay with Narc abuse bec your mind is going to play some serious tricks. I married a Covert Narc before I knew what Narc was. I’m divorce and it is a battle from hell.
Shouldn't of told her. Just work on your steps and watch your back these people are evil bro and can't be reasoned with. Keep going forward though. You got this 💪🖤🙏
I’ve experienced All of these behaviors. I’ve gone No contact to help my Peace of mind an more. My life is better. Thanks for your willingness to help Steph 🙏
Great video. My ex narc did the same thing. It’s was a very short relationship 3 months. I had my suspicions early on. What got me was that lying right to my face. She was a psychotherapist and I met her in a Christian single website so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. She was a demon and I think she was aware of her issues but it had control over her and although was trying to change, couldn’t. Had nice qualities but it was phony. Truly sad. She did everything you mentioned. When I set boundaries the relationship was instantly over.
It is absolutely wild to watch another person deny reality. My ex continues to deny that he cheated on me even though it's so obvious that he did. At this point, the best thing I can do for my sanity is not waste my energy.
I’m in exactly the same boat!!!! It’s insane- I’ve had so many people who knows both my ex AND the girl he cheated on me with, actually tell me months later that they suspected something too. But I know he will always deny it.
*_"You are not going to be able to go toe to toe with his person" ... There it is right there. JACKPOT!!! Narcissists have the uncanny ability to convince their victims they're in a single-opponent competition with them like a Boxer in the Ring. But the reality is the Empath is alone against the Oakland Raider Narcissists, Enablers, and Flying Monkeys._*
@@StephanieLynCoaching 🎯 *_Was Talking ..._** But not for those who went through the "Ego Death" or "Dark Night of the Soul" if they're not the same thing which they are ...*
Great video! Sadly, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The person I thought was the love of my life decided to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. No matter what I do, he’s always on my mind, and I miss him terribly.
Letting go of someone you love is incredibly hard. I went through a similar experience when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't bear to lose him, so I did everything I could to rekindle our relationship. Eventually, I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who guided us back together.
When I made him leave after his infidelity and financial abuse, he played victim, said he thought I had someone else. Then he tried the love-bombing, when that didn't work, he became volatile. Now he's giving me the silent treatment, and that is so refreshing, because it gives me time to heal and make going no contact much easier.
I'm 63 , I was the scapegoat my whole life. Both parents and all 5 siblings are narcissist. Verbal, mental and physical abuse. I walked away from my whole family with the exception of 1 sister. She now is Verbally and mentally abusive. I am slowly moving away from any contact while she is starting her smear campaign.. I'm to old for this shit. God bless everyone and prayers for anyone dealing with these demonic creatures.
This is spot on. Please explain how to deal with toxic positive narcissists. It's so pollyanna crazy.. If you don't follow the lies, validate, then you're deemed as negatively. I have no and low contact with them. But Thanksgiving is around the corner. Help!!!
That’s a hard one. The only thing I’m going to suggest I don’t know if it’ll fully make you feel better it continue to live your authentic life. The people that matter will see the difference between you too and will be able to smell the dysfunction from a mile away the others, whether they believe stories or not to be honest it’s a relevant.
Love your station Stephanie!! It gives me courage and strength to go on after so much abuse!!! 13 year cycle!!! Finally realized I was with a malignant narcissist. Asked him to leave finally very calmly. He went into a rage breaking things yelling swearing exploiting me in front of his 18 yr old son about how he only “stayed with me for sex!!!” Sent divorce papers and I was disabled so he cut off all my bank accounts! Divorced now 2 1/2 yrs and still fighting for CS an alimony to care for our 5 yr old who he completely abandoned. He spent 6 months in Rikers Island state penitentiary for non CS payments and still refuses to pay CS!! Now NC 4 yrs he still controlling the finances. Now I’m putting him back in jail. He is a millionaire!!!!!!!! I also have a restraining order on him. But it takes a lot of energy and a emotional toll on me but my daughter is worth fighting for!! I also wrote a book a autobiography with the abuse an pain coming out in December. There will be a trailer video on Times Square to promote it and he lives in NYC and I’m sure is not going to be happy about this exposure. Oh well🤷🏻♀️
Wow, you have been through a lot! You should be so incredibly proud of yourself for still fighting and going through all of this. It absolutely does take a toll on you in so many ways and now you’re an author!!! #girlpower 🩷
Absolutely tremendous Stephanie, Thank you so much for this, I won't allow them to get emotional reactions from me, or Gaslight manipulate and distort, I have immense self control, Stoicism is bliss, I'm wise to all the tactics, Peace, love and respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory power praise and smile's to the most high :-)
I’m starting to realize it’s not as uncommon as we think… Women tend to just hide it more where is men tend to be more overly narcissistic I think you see more of the covert victim mentality in women than men
@@StephanieLynCoachingWomen and men have diagnosed NPD in commensurate numbers these days… women just hide it more discreetly as vulnerable or covert narcissists… but with the way social media has impacted our society, women are going to surpass men in leaps and bounds.
My sons father doesnt even focus on our son and being a good father because he’s so dead set on punishing me for moving out and getting my own things and not needing him after he slept with a promiscuous coworker 🤦🏽♀️ im sure it hurt his ego to see me pull up in a new car only two weeks after he left me without a license . That’s his fault for underestimating me and thinking I needed him when I NEVER DID
It goes one of two ways either they’re gonna hurt the child or they’re going to hurt their ex partner. For me, the brunt always came at me so I can’t imagine how hurtful it is to watch that happen. Regardless of who they hurt you’re the healthy one you’re the strong one you’re the one that’s going to really shape and mold your son that’s all that matters. Momma bear in full effect ❤️
❤❤Stephanie, thank you so much 4 this video. It's unbelievable how beautifully you said it all. I was 4 that the psychology gets to be a mandatory subject in the school, high school grades 1-4, when my kids were of that age...still thinking about that the same.❤❤
you should mention in ur upcoming video the fact that they not only hate criticism of themselves, but criticism of any kind. if u for example recognize and talk about unjust or situation, narcissist will defend the bad guy or the bad aspect. becasue if he/she acknowleges the crime/ injustice, that would not allow them to act same way in future or prove they did wrong in past. so they will defend you if u did something wrong or act similar to them. they protect their interests to secure their tactics and behaviours in past and future.
My experience was gaslighting and victim response, attempting to engage my empathy. And when that no longer worked, boy did it get nasty! Triangulation attempts, body language that felt threatening. Etc. I agree, the pattern is textbook.
When I exposed my narcissistic ex, he retaliated by filing for sole custody of my children to “punish” me. He didn’t win, thankfully, but it was a terrible and stressful period of my life. Flash forward a few years and he burned down his house by carelessly disposing of a cigarette. Everyone thinks he and his mistress turned wife were the victims of the fire, but I obtained the investigation report showing that he actually started the fire. At this point, it’s let go and let god, but the court forcing me to let my kids live with him half the time is extremely difficult.
You just described almost everyone. Just more extreme. People have separation from God wounding and we cover it with dysfunctional selfishness. Go deeper with less judgment. They.. they ..they..... clean our own cup first.
More like the victim stuff. But it happens gradually with (now that I look back) a lot testing the ground to check which direction you take when poked. Need to know that those are empty words designed to trigger you. "It is because of you that" or "I sacrificed so much to be with you" kind of reflections. "I regret", "it was or I did a mistake to be with you" and much more.
I had no idea, I was just reacting to what they started and was attempting to defend myself. In the end I might have done something that caused me many years of vindictive behaviour. I didn't even confront, I just quietly walked away. Nice to get to have many perspectives from different channels, but I wish I had known this before all of it!
It’s hard to recognize that a lot of the times where either over explaining ourselves because we want validation or we’re trying to defend ourselves against someone who will never see things clearly. And they don’t have to.
@@StephanieLynCoaching They probably played me for a fool and I did far more than I needed to, probably played my strings and made me look foolish, but in the end I couldn't do more than that. No idea going forward, but I'll at least hope that I'll have keener perception.
Hi Stephanie I got the nasty really nasty she cut me at my knees to the extent that she started bringing all my difficult past up stuff to hurt me Baring in mind when I met her I trusted her and told her loads of things So to cut me at my knees she brought everything thing up to hurt me and destroy my self worth and pride It doesn’t work anymore And she is constantly trying to find new ways to hurt me
After 7 years of marriage and. 15 year relationship I finally figured out what she was doing to me. Projecting, gaslighting, love bombing etc. Left me feeling like I was going crazy, emasculated, NEVER received a genuine apology (always withdrew afterwards), anxiety I never had etc. When I called her out she left, went no contact (I did too) and filed for divorce which should be finalized in a few weeks. I’m afraid to ever see her and I’ve never been afraid of anyone. I also wish we could reconcile even knowing how much she emotionally abused me. Makes me feel like a loser.
I cover this a bit on my channel too, it's not worth it though. I think a lot of people want to expose The narcissist as a form of retribution, but all that does is escalate the abuse cycles. If you want to stay safe and you want to stay happy, all you have to do is move on and leave as quietly and quickly as you can.
Your videos has helped me in the past few years but sometimes I just loose it . Co parenting isn't easy, is like I can't say no to her needs, comes very hard at you when she doesn't get her way, stopped me from seeing my son during the week, then start saying I am controlling and manipulating. Sometimes when I get to drop my son off ,she wouldn't be there. I've gotten better due to your videos, 2 years ago, I would have been reacting and she shouting at me even in public places.
Jimmy coparenting is crazy hard!! You are not going to do it right every single time it doesn’t matter how many of my videos you watch these are just reminders of what it is that you need to work on and work on it. There are just times for whatever reasons are that we just absolutely lose our stuff and that’s OK. You’re human 💪
I was in a long distance relationship for 3 years with my ex and he always used that to say “well I dont like long distance” but then do the all the BF things. Anytime I would bring up a concern, like why he was still talking to his ex, he would say, “if this isn’t working for you then we can end it.” That made me feel unworthy and less than, even though I was successful and made more money than him. But then he would be really nice and text me all day. I had a devastating death in my family and he promised to stay with me through it all. When I flew out to see him (cross country) he would sometimes walk in front of me, never hold my hand and act like I was his “friend” in front of his women “friends.” But be SUPER affectionate behind closed doors. Anytime I brought up his “strange” behavior, he would ask “what do you think my intentions were?” And “I didn’t see that or I didn’t hear that” or “why would you think that?” It made me feel crazy and trained me to NEVER bring up my concerns. Long story short, he ended up moving to my city (bc he promised we could be in a real relationship and be closer to his family) then when I told him I wanted the title of gf, 10 days later, he took me out to dinner, smiled in my face, got back to my home and dumped me. When I asked him why he stuck around after the death in my family, he said “ I did what any friend would do.” He also told me “after 3 years I would’ve asked you to marry me and I didn’t. What does that tell you?” He had a new gf within 9 weeks ( that I saw on IG). It really messed me up. But I listened to your coaching, prayed and got therapy and I’m much better! I realized he was a complete narcissist, borderline sociopathic. Sometimes when I think about it too long it still hurts…
I love your work Stephanie. Your videos have lots of good advice and things to think about to work on yourself. This video however I think does not say the one obvious thing: it is a bad idea to confront and expose a narcissist! It is potentially physically dangerous and does not lead to any resolution. I understand that as a victim of a narcissist the urge to call them out is strong, but they are incapable of accepting the truth. The best thing you can do is go no contact immediately. If you absolutely have to be in contact then limit it as much as you can. But you won't be winning with a narcissist and getting them to behave. Why would you put yourself through all this emotional psychological assault from them if you know it won't help anyone? I think it only makes sense to confront them if you are still not sure that they are a narcissist, then by how they respond you can get your confirmation. Being in contact with those people is toxic. What you loose is much more than what you gain.
I think with all relationships it’s just about understanding the person that’s in front of you not every narcissist would it be physically harming to confront them. But I understand what you’re saying absolutely.
I walked out had a friend take me to the airport and never made contact again . Changed number Left every personal item . I miss the dog that she mistreated as well . I am a giant aries man protected by God . Hurt .pain . I knew her in school 51 years ago . 6 years ago I run to her . Now I don't even know her
My narcistic neighbour and his flying monkey. I don`t confront them , I think they are not worth to expose or to talk with them . I just walk away , don`t respond to protect my health.
Make date yourself just you drive a compact my place and I said tell Keith let's go all you yourself come outside don't come to pick me up Ninjago on a date what time what time you going to date after dog what why you going to do
So often having abusive parents will lead to having an abusive spouse.
This needs to be more common in the public discourse. It took me decades to figure out why I kept being sucked into abusive relationships. It is a real mindfuck when you need to go home to heal from a really toxic, draining situation, and the "safety net" is a more covert form of abuse. People don't have a chance to break out if they only ever believe the false narrative.
That’s true we do it unconsciously too
When I figured out that my mother is covert, so many pieces fell into place. It is something that no child wants to realize, and something that society doesn't want to accept, that not all mothers are warm and loving. It is counterculture. I am made out to be the difficult person, because I did not submit to my mother's narrative of my inner world.
Why did my gf call me while sucking another man's cock? Do you think her mom did that to her?
Cool video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him/ her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
What’s in your best interest moving forward?
I'd just like to comment that so many people are finding themselves in narcissistic relationships that this seems to be the new 'normal'. They act like toddlers for their whole life. It's all about them with the lying, acting and tantrums. So that says a lot about how we are evolving as a society. We need to address this urgently because right now, I don't think we can afford to let them get away with it any longer.
me and you share the same brain waves. what sucks is there is such a high number of narcs, born from our present society, by the means of accepting, and normalizing it, embracing it, is unreal. i have a hard time finding anyone who is not a part of the narc club, to one degree, or another. all relationships today, including marriage, that i personally view are based on a purely transactional forum, of what one is getting from the other. is this not a form of narcissism in its purest sense? you, as a human being, have been deleted from the equation.
@@lilfairycupcakeSadly true. But there are still some good people like yourself out there , just rarer nowadays ❤
6 months ago, after 27 years together, I came across the term covert narcissist.
Bingo. All my confusion, dilemmas, ill health explained.
I told her 2 weeks ago that she is a narc and I am having therapy for narcissistic abuse.
Gates of Hell have opened.
We have 2 young kids.
Its a bloody nightmare.
Stay strong ❤
So sorry for what you’re going through. Congrats for getting out early bc my kids think I’m
The problem since they witnessed my reaction to his abuse and no therapist attempted to me on what I was describing. It took social media to teach me and like you it was a massive aha moment of my experience - I was married to this person for 27 years, together for 35 before I finally figured it out. Just fyi from what I’ve learned, You’re never supposed to tell them that they’re a narcissist😬 however I had to talk to mine recently and though I feel healed and prepared and mostly not reactive anymore, it came out like Stephanie says - i screamed it
Bloody nightmare indeed. Just wait, you’re only getting started. Get out. Like now. Live in your car if you have too and yes stay with Narc abuse bec your mind is going to play some serious tricks. I married a Covert Narc before I knew what Narc was. I’m divorce and it is a battle from hell.
Shouldn't of told her. Just work on your steps and watch your back these people are evil bro and can't be reasoned with. Keep going forward though. You got this 💪🖤🙏
the worst part, is not knowing. been there, did that. best bet for you is distance/no contact.
Textbook…Love Bombing, Nasty rages, victim then discard and cycle repeats.
Attempting to walk away.
Isn’t it so crazy how textbook it actually is and how the cycle is the same no matter the relationship or person? Cuckoo! 🤪
hamster wheel of insanity.
I get gaslit And he goes from 0-1000000 in a second !RAGING, Deflecting and Lying while being in your face and abusive
GET OUT NOW
I hope you are away from them, I hope you are safe now.
I’ve experienced All of these behaviors.
I’ve gone No contact to help my Peace of mind an more.
My life is better.
Thanks for your willingness to help Steph 🙏
Yay!! That's what it's about!
no contact, is the only cure.
Great video. My ex narc did the same thing. It’s was a very short relationship 3 months. I had my suspicions early on. What got me was that lying right to my face. She was a psychotherapist and I met her in a Christian single website so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. She was a demon and I think she was aware of her issues but it had control over her and although was trying to change, couldn’t. Had nice qualities but it was phony. Truly sad. She did everything you mentioned. When I set boundaries the relationship was instantly over.
Well thank god you’re away from that person!
Do NOT do it. Sorry folks, leave as quietly as you can. Just get out.
It is absolutely wild to watch another person deny reality. My ex continues to deny that he cheated on me even though it's so obvious that he did. At this point, the best thing I can do for my sanity is not waste my energy.
It’s honestly crazy making, and can make you go cuckoo because you’re not dealing with a person that lives in reality
I’m in exactly the same boat!!!! It’s insane- I’ve had so many people who knows both my ex AND the girl he cheated on me with, actually tell me months later that they suspected something too. But I know he will always deny it.
leave! then he gets nothing.
People expose themselves every day. You won't have to point it out to anyone. We know!
*_"You are not going to be able to go toe to toe with his person" ... There it is right there. JACKPOT!!! Narcissists have the uncanny ability to convince their victims they're in a single-opponent competition with them like a Boxer in the Ring. But the reality is the Empath is alone against the Oakland Raider Narcissists, Enablers, and Flying Monkeys._*
And the beauty is you don’t have to go to toe with them. That’s just your ego talking.
@@StephanieLynCoaching 🎯 *_Was Talking ..._** But not for those who went through the "Ego Death" or "Dark Night of the Soul" if they're not the same thing which they are ...*
Great video! Sadly, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The person I thought was the love of my life decided to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. No matter what I do, he’s always on my mind, and I miss him terribly.
Letting go of someone you love is incredibly hard. I went through a similar experience when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't bear to lose him, so I did everything I could to rekindle our relationship. Eventually, I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who guided us back together.
Wow, that’s incredible! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him?
His name is Father Obah Eze , and he’s an amazing spiritual counselor who specializes in helping people reconnect with their ex.
Thank you for sharing this valuable info! I just looked him up, and he seems impressive.
When I made him leave after his infidelity and financial abuse, he played victim, said he thought I had someone else. Then he tried the love-bombing, when that didn't work, he became volatile. Now he's giving me the silent treatment, and that is so refreshing, because it gives me time to heal and make going no contact much easier.
Silent treatment isn’t always a bad thing💪
0 contact.
This is almost exactly what I dealt with in January of this year. Only to add porn addiction to the nightmare.
I'm 63 , I was the scapegoat my whole life. Both parents and all 5 siblings are narcissist. Verbal, mental and physical abuse. I walked away from my whole family with the exception of 1 sister. She now is Verbally and mentally abusive. I am slowly moving away from any contact while she is starting her smear campaign.. I'm to old for this shit. God bless everyone and prayers for anyone dealing with these demonic creatures.
This is spot on. Please explain how to deal with toxic positive narcissists. It's so pollyanna crazy.. If you don't follow the lies, validate, then you're deemed as negatively. I have no and low contact with them. But Thanksgiving is around the corner. Help!!!
I have had my character attacked - to my face and “ behind my back”.
That’s a hard one. The only thing I’m going to suggest I don’t know if it’ll fully make you feel better it continue to live your authentic life. The people that matter will see the difference between you too and will be able to smell the dysfunction from a mile away the others, whether they believe stories or not to be honest it’s a relevant.
Thanks, Stephanie. The best life coach in the game.
Oh my gosh… Thank you so much. That’s such a lovely comment!
Love your station Stephanie!! It gives me courage and strength to go on after so much abuse!!!
13 year cycle!!! Finally realized I was with a malignant narcissist. Asked him to leave finally very calmly. He went into a rage breaking things yelling swearing exploiting me in front of his 18 yr old son about how he only “stayed with me for sex!!!” Sent divorce papers and I was disabled so he cut off all my bank accounts! Divorced now 2 1/2 yrs and still fighting for CS an alimony to care for our 5 yr old who he completely abandoned. He spent 6 months in Rikers Island state penitentiary for non CS payments and still refuses to pay CS!! Now NC 4 yrs he still controlling the finances. Now I’m putting him back in jail. He is a millionaire!!!!!!!! I also have a restraining order on him. But it takes a lot of energy and a emotional toll on me but my daughter is worth fighting for!! I also wrote a book a autobiography with the abuse an pain coming out in December. There will be a trailer video on Times Square to promote it and he lives in NYC and I’m sure is not going to be happy about this exposure. Oh well🤷🏻♀️
Wow, you have been through a lot! You should be so incredibly proud of yourself for still fighting and going through all of this. It absolutely does take a toll on you in so many ways and now you’re an author!!! #girlpower 🩷
Yes, they get beyond mad😊
Absolutely tremendous Stephanie, Thank you so much for this, I won't allow them to get emotional reactions from me, or Gaslight manipulate and distort, I have immense self control, Stoicism is bliss, I'm wise to all the tactics, Peace, love and respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory power praise and smile's to the most high :-)
🙌
@StephanieLynCoaching :-)
My ex girlfriend was this way. It threw me for a loop as I know it's more common for men to be narcissitced than women. Lesson learned.
I’m starting to realize it’s not as uncommon as we think… Women tend to just hide it more where is men tend to be more overly narcissistic I think you see more of the covert victim mentality in women than men
@@StephanieLynCoachingWomen and men have diagnosed NPD in commensurate numbers these days… women just hide it more discreetly as vulnerable or covert narcissists… but with the way social media has impacted our society, women are going to surpass men in leaps and bounds.
Spot on Stephanie ! Spot on.
You are so helpful and I Thank you for the knowledge you install in us ❤ God Bless You
You are so welcome!
Excellent information in a short time. The tactics and the abuse apply to both genders.
My sons father doesnt even focus on our son and being a good father because he’s so dead set on punishing me for moving out and getting my own things and not needing him after he slept with a promiscuous coworker 🤦🏽♀️ im sure it hurt his ego to see me pull up in a new car only two weeks after he left me without a license . That’s his fault for underestimating me and thinking I needed him when I NEVER DID
It goes one of two ways either they’re gonna hurt the child or they’re going to hurt their ex partner. For me, the brunt always came at me so I can’t imagine how hurtful it is to watch that happen. Regardless of who they hurt you’re the healthy one you’re the strong one you’re the one that’s going to really shape and mold your son that’s all that matters. Momma bear in full effect ❤️
I just had a really strange dream. A stranger guy. No recognition. I will not be trading punches with him.
My favorite “well what about you?”
Deflection and Victimization.
Drama, manipulation.
This is why people are found in pieces in suitcases at the bottom of the ocean!
❤❤Stephanie, thank you so much 4 this video. It's unbelievable how beautifully you said it all. I was 4 that the psychology gets to be a mandatory subject in the school, high school grades 1-4, when my kids were of that age...still thinking about that the same.❤❤
You are so welcome!
you should mention in ur upcoming video the fact that they not only hate criticism of themselves, but criticism of any kind. if u for example recognize and talk about unjust or situation, narcissist will defend the bad guy or the bad aspect. becasue if he/she acknowleges the crime/ injustice, that would not allow them to act same way in future or prove they did wrong in past. so they will defend you if u did something wrong or act similar to them. they protect their interests to secure their tactics and behaviours in past and future.
So true!
My experience was gaslighting and victim response, attempting to engage my empathy. And when that no longer worked, boy did it get nasty! Triangulation attempts, body language that felt threatening. Etc. I agree, the pattern is textbook.
Man, that's so good Stephanie thank you for the information
You are so welcome!
Very informative respected Madam!🎉
OMG....everything is spot on that youare saying!!!!! This is every day of my life😢
Crazy right how the same this is for so many of us. Like whyyyy is this a thing 😵💫
When I exposed my narcissistic ex, he retaliated by filing for sole custody of my children to “punish” me. He didn’t win, thankfully, but it was a terrible and stressful period of my life. Flash forward a few years and he burned down his house by carelessly disposing of a cigarette. Everyone thinks he and his mistress turned wife were the victims of the fire, but I obtained the investigation report showing that he actually started the fire. At this point, it’s let go and let god, but the court forcing me to let my kids live with him half the time is extremely difficult.
I’m sure BUT as long as you’re the healthy and major influence in their life, they’re ok. They have you!
My mother is the most narcissistic person I hope I ever know.
He does not care. His life,just goes on
Sometimes you have to expose them and walk away.
The walk away is important, detach after that
@ detach long before that lol
You just described almost everyone. Just more extreme. People have separation from God wounding and we cover it with dysfunctional selfishness. Go deeper with less judgment. They.. they ..they..... clean our own cup first.
More like the victim stuff. But it happens gradually with (now that I look back) a lot testing the ground to check which direction you take when poked. Need to know that those are empty words designed to trigger you. "It is because of you that" or "I sacrificed so much to be with you" kind of reflections. "I regret", "it was or I did a mistake to be with you" and much more.
I had no idea, I was just reacting to what they started and was attempting to defend myself. In the end I might have done something that caused me many years of vindictive behaviour. I didn't even confront, I just quietly walked away. Nice to get to have many perspectives from different channels, but I wish I had known this before all of it!
It’s hard to recognize that a lot of the times where either over explaining ourselves because we want validation or we’re trying to defend ourselves against someone who will never see things clearly. And they don’t have to.
@@StephanieLynCoaching They probably played me for a fool and I did far more than I needed to, probably played my strings and made me look foolish, but in the end I couldn't do more than that. No idea going forward, but I'll at least hope that I'll have keener perception.
Hi Stephanie I got the nasty really nasty she cut me at my knees to the extent that she started bringing all my difficult past up stuff to hurt me
Baring in mind when I met her I trusted her and told her loads of things
So to cut me at my knees she brought everything thing up to hurt me and destroy my self worth and pride
It doesn’t work anymore
And she is constantly trying to find new ways to hurt me
I’m sooo glad it doesn’t work anymore because that is cruel on a sick level.
♥️Stephanie♥️Wonderful Couching♥️ I see narcissists Can make you lose our mind and ♥️peace♥️You are the ♥️best♥️thank you for helping us♥️
Rosa thank you!! 🩷🩷🩷
After 7 years of marriage and. 15 year relationship I finally figured out what she was doing to me. Projecting, gaslighting, love bombing etc. Left me feeling like I was going crazy, emasculated, NEVER received a genuine apology (always withdrew afterwards), anxiety I never had etc. When I called her out she left, went no contact (I did too) and filed for divorce which should be finalized in a few weeks. I’m afraid to ever see her and I’ve never been afraid of anyone. I also wish we could reconcile even knowing how much she emotionally abused me. Makes me feel like a loser.
I cover this a bit on my channel too, it's not worth it though. I think a lot of people want to expose The narcissist as a form of retribution, but all that does is escalate the abuse cycles. If you want to stay safe and you want to stay happy, all you have to do is move on and leave as quietly and quickly as you can.
Your videos has helped me in the past few years but sometimes I just loose it . Co parenting isn't easy, is like I can't say no to her needs, comes very hard at you when she doesn't get her way, stopped me from seeing my son during the week, then start saying I am controlling and manipulating.
Sometimes when I get to drop my son off ,she wouldn't be there. I've gotten better due to your videos, 2 years ago, I would have been reacting and she shouting at me even in public places.
Jimmy coparenting is crazy hard!! You are not going to do it right every single time it doesn’t matter how many of my videos you watch these are just reminders of what it is that you need to work on and work on it. There are just times for whatever reasons are that we just absolutely lose our stuff and that’s OK. You’re human 💪
I was in a long distance relationship for 3 years with my ex and he always used that to say “well I dont like long distance” but then do the all the BF things. Anytime I would bring up a concern, like why he was still talking to his ex, he would say, “if this isn’t working for you then we can end it.”
That made me feel unworthy and less than, even though I was successful and made more money than him.
But then he would be really nice and text me all day.
I had a devastating death in my family and he promised to stay with me through it all.
When I flew out to see him (cross country) he would sometimes walk in front of me, never hold my hand and act like I was his “friend” in front of his women “friends.” But be SUPER affectionate behind closed doors. Anytime I brought up his “strange” behavior, he would ask “what do you think my intentions were?” And “I didn’t see that or I didn’t hear that” or “why would you think that?”
It made me feel crazy and trained me to NEVER bring up my concerns. Long story short, he ended up moving to my city (bc he promised we could be in a real relationship and be closer to his family) then when I told him I wanted the title of gf, 10 days later, he took me out to dinner, smiled in my face, got back to my home and dumped me. When I asked him why he stuck around after the death in my family, he said “ I did what any friend would do.”
He also told me “after 3 years I would’ve asked you to marry me and I didn’t. What does that tell you?”
He had a new gf within 9 weeks ( that I saw on IG). It really messed me up. But I listened to your coaching, prayed and got therapy and I’m much better!
I realized he was a complete narcissist, borderline sociopathic.
Sometimes when I think about it too long it still hurts…
"like it's from a manual" 👍
Either 👮 or revenge in other way.
ive seen the mask fall off 2x. both times they knew this was it, last hurrah, all done, no going back. hence, no more need for the mask.
I love your work Stephanie. Your videos have lots of good advice and things to think about to work on yourself. This video however I think does not say the one obvious thing: it is a bad idea to confront and expose a narcissist! It is potentially physically dangerous and does not lead to any resolution. I understand that as a victim of a narcissist the urge to call them out is strong, but they are incapable of accepting the truth. The best thing you can do is go no contact immediately. If you absolutely have to be in contact then limit it as much as you can. But you won't be winning with a narcissist and getting them to behave. Why would you put yourself through all this emotional psychological assault from them if you know it won't help anyone? I think it only makes sense to confront them if you are still not sure that they are a narcissist, then by how they respond you can get your confirmation. Being in contact with those people is toxic. What you loose is much more than what you gain.
I think with all relationships it’s just about understanding the person that’s in front of you not every narcissist would it be physically harming to confront them. But I understand what you’re saying absolutely.
I like your share. I’m coming to terms why even the police are asking me to file a protective order.
My denial is talking …
Dude i wouldn't do that
I walked out had a friend take me to the airport and never made contact again . Changed number
Left every personal item .
I miss the dog that she mistreated as well .
I am a giant aries man protected by God .
Hurt .pain .
I knew her in school 51 years ago .
6 years ago I run to her .
Now I don't even know her
That was my ex wife
My narcistic neighbour and his flying monkey. I don`t confront them , I think they are not worth to expose or to talk with them . I just walk away , don`t respond to protect my health.
Write down for me where does the question UA-cam video call do you know what I can can do that you are done not take date
What hell
Make date yourself just you drive a compact my place and I said tell Keith let's go all you yourself come outside don't come to pick me up Ninjago on a date what time what time you going to date after dog what why you going to do
Who cares how they feel and what’s gonna happen next. They’ve done enough damage. I’m flipping the page 📄 next