Tit for Tat Games Narcissists Play!
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- Опубліковано 8 лют 2025
- You thought you were in a relationship with your soulmate, but then soon realize you were entangled in a toxic game.
This is the case for so many people.
It is not until you are removed from the relationship that you can look back and put the dots together and realize that what was happening is you were part of an unhealthy game that was being played where you were the giver and they were the taker.
Thanks for watching!
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Yes as soon as they feel you’re locked in the devalue begins.
NICELY PUT 😊
It really takes an emotionally healthy person to have the awareness of these games and have the strength to get out of these relationships. Most people don´t even realize they are in a toxic relationship. Amazing video!
I’ve met several narcissist who liked to do something nice for you and then later hold it against you or use it as an argument “but I did this for you”
There was one “coach” who gaslit me when I didn’t want to take her “free advice”. I blocked her that day
Oh my goodness, this is so true.
Yes, yes and yes! Everything you are mentioning is exactly what my ex husband is. And I was doing exactly what you said trying to do harder loving him but he just kept taking and taking and when I left I was so drained emotionally and physically. They are vampires and will suck life out of you!
100% true! ... And regarding the experiences you shared, we are the same person, it's uncanny
Takers are the master of gaslighting, no matter how hard you give them everything they want , love never happens 😂😂😂😂
I have a friend who is going through similar issues as you. I'm happy that you're now in control of your life. Your destination is unwritten as it should be. You changed the trajectory of your life. The most powerful thing a person can do. Control their own life.
I know I love every single person who masters such feat.
The narc never changes. They become more practiced and refined in how they abuse targets. They don't change - they just get worse. No Contact is the most effective way of dealing with the narc.
It may be the only way to Win.
💯 🎉
Thank you for this info. It also helps us men.. that went thru the same exact things you have mentioned. Thank God i saw videos like these and i was able to get out that relationship... it was just crazy, draining, she would literally just take and take and gave nothing back. Until i put a stop to it. It wasnt easy. I really thought we were goin to be together forever and that i had found my soulmate. Boy was i wrong.. its not easy putting boundaries, Not easy letting Go. But i had to do it. They Dont Change. No matter what. They will always let you down one way or another .
It’s actually so sad that they don’t know how to love authentically and they need fake love to survive
Narcissists are nothing but moochers and parasitic leeches which cling onto you for dear life until you take sharp measures to unlatch that leech or that tick off you
It’s their problem
It's not sad that's how u fall into the trap. Stop the empathy.
And that they Need SO Much Attention from Low Vibing Hoes on the Internet for Attention to Fill the Void in their Soul🥺
This vid accurately describes my last (9yr) relationship. Always felt like he was keeping score.
I was the giver and he was the taker and then I was discarded without warning.
Helpful to hear what I need to work on in order to move forward.
Narcissists play games from hell dawg.
This is by far my favorite in my opinion and is the most informational coverage I've seen so far from you that says everything I need to hear and will save for the future as well! Thank you, you are helping me heal 🙏😊
WOW.....what perfect timing you have!! Was literally telling my wife last night that everything she says and does in this marriage is just a childish tic for tack game.....no matter what i say to her she responds with this tactic, everytime lol, thank you!
It's so crazy to watch this video and then realizing everything and step you said happened to me a year and a half ago. Thank you for making it so much clearer knowing why this happened.
Getting divorced from my wife is probably one of the best things that has happened to me., but it's been tough. I know that may sound bad, but she is a very toxic person and I have no use for that type of person in my life.
Good video Stephanie.
Once they’re in too deep, I wonder how many times a day people come to this realization ?
The million dollar question is … “ How, as a society, do we reverse the onset of this unfortunate increasing trend ? “
In my opinion, there is a simple solution. 😊
Stop raising kids in a way that causes them severe trauma. That’s the best solution I can think of. Sometimes parent don’t even realize themselves that they are inflicting trauma onto their child (often due to the parents upbringing as well as unhealed wounds.) I think this would greatly decrease the amount of narcissism and even cluster b personality disorders.
I can relate so much to this video. Nearly every weekend my ex insisted on going out drinking and partying with his friends and we are both in our 30s. I just put up with it even though I knew that wasn't what I wanted in a relationship. These people are beyond selfish.
Right. We got pregnant around six months after dating.. that quickly turned into having our son, him going to work then come home and shower and out the door off to the bar, every night. While I was hostage at our apartment with baby on my own. Often went periods without a car as well. It’s an insane thought to have a kid and think you still live freely and hold no responsibility (other than providing income for rent and utilities.)
Thank you Stephanie for discussing all these topics! You are spot on. I appreciate all your efforts to educate those of us who are suffering from narcissistic and very toxic people. It’s taken me years to see the patterns but now it is crystal clear!
Thank you Stephanie for helping us. Been applying these tips for my next relationship. Currently single and working on myself mind, body, spirit and finances ❤.
I agree with you on the fact that I never knew what boundaries were, what triggering was what gaslighting was etc. until I married my narcissistic ex-husband now. My eyes are wide open! Although I still have a lot to learn! Thank you for your videos.
This is 100% true. Glad that I left her at the end of 2021. 3 kids and 15yrs later though so not an easy move but totally worth it.
♥️Stephanie thank you you’re right 100% ♥️I hope some of us listen to your ♥️wonderful couching♥️
Love your videos it is so important that the giver takes responsibility instead of just constantly blaming the other person.
As a giver myself I found myself dating an unhealed giver who just left a narcissistic relationship I found him to be just as toxic and unhealthy as a taker.
Education 💯 percent, thank you for all of your great informative videos! ❤️
Most people are not genuine!!!!!
You are 💯 percent correct! The exact same thing happened to me for 24 years! I didn’t realize how Sick he was! I am also a Recovering Codependent, but I thought he was Bipolar until recently, I found out about Narcissism! and I have learned a lot the past few months! I kept denying that he didn’t love me, I knew I was being used, and did leave several times, and told him many times, you don’t Love me, you are using me for a Maid! Now I get it! Thanks so much for Sharing! God Bless!❤️
But how do we punish these mofos!?
no contact, no info an you Win.
They like to bread crumb you. They give you just enough so you don't walk away. They give the bear minimum.
You are 100% describing my mother and sister - omg!
I’ve been well aware of the givers and the takers my whole life and I’m almost 60. It is remarkable to witness. My mother does it in small increments where she flies just under the radar to others as she throws me under the bus in front of my husband and my kids. The final straw was in 2013. Long story too long. But that was the defining moment where I realized it was up to me to change and to no longer be on the receiving end like an open face sandwich to be abused. That’s DONE
Thank you for getting my thoughts clearer and clearer for each video you release 😊.
The path of healing is starting to make progress..
Been with a Narc for over 10 years. And we have a child together. we are separated since 10 years ago.
And my child is getting older, she's 14. So i don't have to interact with her. we only have text contact, and i decide what to answer!
TRUE VIDEO STEPHANIE I LOVE YOUR VIDEO
I'm a co-d, people pleaser. She told me I was the problem, everything was always my fault. I believed her for a long time but once I figured it out, I left and spent the next two years working on myself. I am finally beginning to know myself, to love myself. It's been a trying journey, but if not for that relationship, I never would have got to this place I'm at now where I value myself.
It sounds like you’ve learned a lot from that experience!
Thank you, Stephanie, for uploading this video. They’re so insightful. I’m really happy to hear you’re learning more and more about yourself along the way. I’m happy to hear you are finding yourself (again). It’s so important!! I’m still learning stuff about myself too. I believe that’s what Life’s all about. We change, we dislike things we used to like, we get more comfortable with ourselves, we learn things and we see what works and doesn’t work for us. And that is so important to stay independent in your own skin. Thanks again for all of your videos- eye opening!!👏🏻👍🏻
The narc I was friends with would force everyone to watch her kids while she wanted to live her life; no friendship if you aren’t willing to babysit for free! 😂
100% nothing is genuine💜
No more damn strings attached to me anymore. Enough !
I noticed towards the end of my relationship and I was trying to be cheerful and say things like I love you sweetheart she would show me a look of disgust and anger 👹 like don't say that to me can you imagine how that make make someone feel 😢
They always play games, so the project onto you, what they do. She assumes you were trying to trick her. It's painful. I know it all too well.
Really well put.
It’s hard to say but I’m back here listening to your videos again. I listened several years ago when I was dealing with a breakup, fast forward married the guy and now we are divorcing. Today he blamed me someone hacking his account. Tried to borrow money from me to cover what he “lost” by showing up to pick up our son crying. Then sends me a screen capture of this bank statements with a text bubble at the top where he’s telling another woman she’s his girl. I asked him how come he didn’t ask her to give him the money. Oh my God just a nightmare to coparent with.
I felt like an employee. Assistant to a director.
Yes hunny this is the best description of how I felt also!
This!
Yup. It felt like my sweet texts were now being counted and timed.
I love to listen this topic. And Highly Recommended to all.
VERY INSIGHTFUL 😊
Had this with my ex wife and my ex girlfriend ..all I got was declining health and feeling like last nights trash taken out to the curb
Great video Stephanie! You are right on! Thank you for your help ❤
You are so welcome!
You are the best🤗 Thanks for everything you do❤God bless you!
Thank you 🙏 Stephanie
This is so spot on!
My ex reeled me back in did all the love bombing as soon as I fell for it he let me down hard. Just a game for them.
Very good video ! Continue your good works Stephanie!! 👌👌💪💪
yeah my mom is like this , and also with friends
Spot on, as usual...especially so the part about the narc wanting to be seen as just SO great!!
I tried harder then I saw it wasn't going to work so I went on strike one month before I left my ex Husband. Its been almost 7 years now. I will no longer except disrespect any longer. I didn't know what a Narcissist was until my daughter asked me if I knew what it was and I didnt. Now I am a very educated empath.
This is some great stuff. I have seen a lot of your content, but this is a great combination of a lot of your content. It touches on a lot of different concepts. Well done
This is exactly what happened to me.
I didnt realize what i was falling into. I thought you shouldn't ask for things or nag. I thought if i demonstrated selfless and helpful behaviour, that he would see it and realize he wasnt pulling his weight. I knew to have boundaries with my kids, (im not picking up the toy for you, its your responsibility because you got it out). But i didn't do the same for my partner, i thought i was being nice by doing things for him, and he'd return the kindnesses. But he just got used to me being his maid and caretaker, and eventually he felt entitled to it.
Forget him. He also conditioned you to want it. You will heal best by focusing on yourself and decondition yourself. I’m not saying you’re not but every breath and thought you waste on him is one less thought in total agreement to fight his conditioning.
Very helpful Stephanie!
the following is my personal opinion- thank you Steph. what is even more difficult is when the narcissists tap into one's natural state of being and general personal tendencies that would otherwise entail living ones 'own life', and use any and all activity as exploitation material, (from 'private' 'personal' shower and toilet time, to any and everything else, via forms of remote neural monitoring, synthetic telepathy, microwave / electromagnetic and other who knows how advanced / sophisticated tech (much of which patented and declassified), because they are 'elites' with connections to military, security, entertainment, broadcasting, publishing, and other industries, then play games about it and their presence and antagonize, harass, and abuse in any way they can, so that personal interests, inclinations, skills, activities, traits, tendencies, including 'self nurturing', are then 'sold or pimped out to various people, avenues, channels, or networks who most capitalize on it, or perversely get off on it, so that trying to avoid, evade, deny, walk away, forfeit, recover, end old patterns and begin anew, self nurture, self protect, is prevented day after day from happening, in leu of a constant daily pattern of abuse and harassment, violation and exploitation that is further antagonistic, in person and in hacked or manipulated digital devices, especially phone, phone functions, and youtube) to be said to be going to continue 'forever' by its spiteful perpetrators. meanwhile, as you mentioned, they are actually weak, sad, pathetic, vile insecure incomplete (many of them deviants with drug and alcohol addictions, personality and psychological disorders, clinical, that they can not overcome), which makes a lot of the valuable and otherwise practical effective information, almost useless, sadly. my guess is that this phone and its 'internet connection' is so hacked, blocked, manipulated, the comments dont even make their way to the actual channel owners, but are mediated and intercepted, and manipulated, by the aforementioned tools, and their programmable ai and digital tools.
Thank you so much. I needed to hear this.
Very good video. I really appreciate you!
Stefanie elsk dig først før du kan elske andre, så du for lige et ❤fra mig af for dit fantastiske program og ha en vidunderlig dag 🙂👍👍
I look forward to your videos .
Omg that top 🔥🚒
I don’t even know how to gage ppl anymore. There’s always a goddamn motive
Excellent video! Another comment is whether as "feminists" you (as in the generic 'you') organize and have organized with others, knowingly and with full intention, desire, and awareness, for society and the 'group'? Because if for example, one associates with misogynists etc. (especially if they pretend within publicly presentable awareness), while 'neutral' about Palestine etc., the nature of the 'you' is obvious, - it's who you are, not what you will claim as a vanity.
It’s crazy watching this video and ur name is Stephanie because the only narc i dated her name was stephanie. I blocked her on everything once and for all, she was such a bad person i actually stopped dating for a about a year after her, all the red flags all the gas lighting, she literally manipulated every situation. I’m really glad i got out very early, if we would’ve had children she would’ve ruined my life
Relationships are agreements between partners. Tit for tat is an oppositional structure. There's no partnership there.
Early on, someone wanted a back rub or massage. Okay, sure. Can I have one? Nope. That someone even said something to the effect of 'I don't want to give you a back rub, I want a back rub.'
Also, I came home after work, someone was hungry. I made the observation out loud verbally that the young child might be hungry. The person said something like 'I don't care about ***** I am just hungry!'
I had same conversation with my narc husband. I could never get a back rub from him no matter how much pain I was in. I sit at a desk job all day & my chair sucks. He would flat out say no if I asked & his reason was "because I don't want too". I would rub his back all the time or scratches when he needed it. I told him one day if you don't rub mine I'm not gonna scratch yours. He immediately got on Amazon & bought several back scratchers to keep in every room so he would never have to ask to be scratched again.
Avoidants can hide behind polyamorous language and non-monogamous relationship dynamics the same way narcissists can manipulate 'therapy speak' to get what they want.
Cute top!
💛
My experience was while growing up.
Was I helling my
Mother take care of 9 brothers and sisters response to everyone needs but my own.
Which carried over into adult life .
Was helping my wife and two boys. Became lost in world had no room for. Me
My Wafe became narseses on me.
Was being used by everyone untill I broke free from all of it started to live new life at older age
Now have found me. My best friend
Love? You're trying to kill me. Don't make me laugh.
I would never leave. You are just beautiful obviously + insightful + smart + emotional + ...
Love bombing alert ^
Stephanie
so what happens when you aren't been kept satisfied and your "narc" is a selfish, always discarding mess and vile with it??
I had next to no love bombing and "if you don't want me someone else will" attitude and off shed go, on, off for years and pretty much from the beginning.
There were gifts at xmas, some thoughtful.
Other times i usually got discarded due to arguments flings during the festive party period
I'm confused,
God..Stephanie..I'm so sorry..you definitely deserved alot better than that
Where is link to the subscription. I am going thru all this
Ima giver I give to the wrong women then they all leave me for bad boys
We've yet to meet in person, too much tit for tat, I am made to feel like I do something wrong via SM, so I've yet to earn DMs! I get SM indirect behavior that only I know he's doing to me. It is like, I react a bit, then he reacts back, tit for tat, and we get nowhere. I do like giving but how many coins can I put in his slot machine hoping things will line up and I get back? So win just enough to keep in the game😔
My comment is 999 lol
she needs to learn about attachment styles, she is NOT secure yet wip
How many years did u stay married?
1 more too many
Hot Woman - I like that!
Steph.. do you think that the self sacrificing behavior could stem a little from religion?
I was raised Jehovah’s Witness& they really imprint the “selfish” attitude as a flaw.. when being selfish is ok, but there needs to be boundaries.. they almost make you feel bad for wanting to take time for your own self..
Thoughts
I was raised as a witness too. I’m starting to find more ex witnesses in many of these types of videos.
I like your videos but could it be possible that you are over analyzing this? When two people are in a relationship our moods, ideas, feelings etc change all of the time and if one is to think the way you are suggesting that could be the very reason why the relationship won’t work out. Why not just be kind, compassionate,considerate and understanding without thinking about it and you don’t don’t get the same back then you know you are not in the right relationship for you. I hope you understand what I’m trying to say because it’s hard to explain in words.
I prefer the explanation to human character from the scriptures... Yours is too simplistic...
Then you're not the target market. Let her be. ❤
I’m more biblical myself but who knows if God almighty didn’t intentionally put her in your path to help? She means well and has helped many people along the way.
1) Why are you dressed like that? 2) (separate point) What have you been involved in, and do you eat and drink and mix with people involved in (for example) Zionism, and/or with people who associate with the like?
Are you okay?
Such weird questions. It’s summer time people usually wear summer clothing in the……..summer.
EXCELLENT VIDEO 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽