Story Time: I was paid less than my assistant!

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  • Опубліковано 13 бер 2016
  • garfield voice happy monday! thanks for letting me vent ;)
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 802

  • @lys4807
    @lys4807 8 років тому +285

    the thing that irks me is that your boyfriend was trying to make you feel guilty for wanting to be equal, when you were the one who got him the job in the first place.

    • @Takarafire
      @Takarafire 8 років тому +10

      +Alyssa
      Good thing hes her ex now!!! She doesn't need people like that in her life.

  • @Ilovemahmochi
    @Ilovemahmochi 8 років тому +165

    Saw the title: was mad. Watched the video: was livid.

    • @bassrocks9
      @bassrocks9 8 років тому +1

      Yupppp. I would be so angry if I was put in this position!!

  • @Michele-bm1zu
    @Michele-bm1zu 8 років тому +228

    It kept pissing me off when you'd mention the men saying "why do you want him to get paid less?" as if they were trying to make you feel guilty so you'd drop it. What morons. You didn't want him to get paid less, you just wanted to get paid more! Lol

    • @Ddalgiichigo
      @Ddalgiichigo 8 років тому +94

      It's not even the money it's the fact that it feels degrading and sexist

  • @robynfarren5185
    @robynfarren5185 8 років тому +134

    "Sexism is easy to ignore when it works in your favour" .. :(

    • @elizabethbutler4649
      @elizabethbutler4649 8 років тому +2

      funny. you presume that becasue he was male that that was the reason for his pay. he wasn't paid with government granted funds, she was. the private sector is able to pay more competively...this is not a gender issue.

    • @robynfarren5185
      @robynfarren5185 8 років тому +24

      They made her feel like she was being unreasonable and wanted to lower her partner's pay. This is not an uncommon thing for women to experience (being made to feel like they're being unreasonable/overracting). Even her partner, someone who is meant to support her didn't understand at first why she was upset when any logical person could see her situation as something illogical. It's funny how you presumed what I was presuming ;)

    • @elizabethbutler4649
      @elizabethbutler4649 8 років тому

      They didn't "make" her feel any way. You're essentially taking away her responsibility for her own welfare and putting it on others. It's a typical western feminist thing to do. "Everything bad that happens to me is everyone else's fault, especially those evil men". Sorry, not going to have a conversation with people who are part of the most privleged and elite group of people to ever live on this planet about how "opressed they are".

  • @RaRobyn
    @RaRobyn 8 років тому +469

    why wasnt your boyfriend as pissed off about this as you were? why was he not backing you up? what the heck? why? wh y?
    why?

    • @albinwonderland
      @albinwonderland  8 років тому +154

      +Robin Alice Clark It was kind of a theme in the relationship, but! Not something I have to worry about anymore ;)

    • @RaRobyn
      @RaRobyn 8 років тому +23

      albinwonderland good! you and your girlfriend seem ridiculously happy :)

    • @AirOfSpace
      @AirOfSpace 8 років тому +13

      +albinwonderland I can see why you broke up with him. My heart is absolutely with you on this, your situation was NOT fair. While I would have quit on the spot, hindsight is 20/20. It's a great thing that you learned from it though! I hope you never have to deal with that again. D:

    • @GakkedOutStrategy
      @GakkedOutStrategy 8 років тому +24

      +Fuller Mac How?!

    • @jadebirch59
      @jadebirch59 8 років тому +26

      Fuller Mac what are you talking about? She was the one putting in all the effort of corse she should of been paid more...

  • @dorkabrain
    @dorkabrain 8 років тому +162

    The logical part of my brain makes me question why your boyfriend would be so combative towards you; essentially giving you a guilt trip to get his way. I also don't get why it wasn't possible for you to get extra compensation from the employer to make up for your extra responsibilities. If they're capable of paying for an assistant - a position that wouldn't exist without your position - than they should have also been able to pad your pay on top of what you were getting from the government.

    • @auralglory
      @auralglory 8 років тому +3

      +dorkabrain exactly!

    • @xgrimesreaper
      @xgrimesreaper 8 років тому +2

      +dorkabrain exactly my thoughts.

    • @Nunekhiia
      @Nunekhiia 8 років тому +5

      +dorkabrain yeah, I feel kinda bad for her that she was put into that position, her arguments were only correct and fair. u.u

    • @11viewer77
      @11viewer77 8 років тому +1

      +dorkabrain Women have a logical working part in their brains?? - You must be kidding

    • @KristinMoran
      @KristinMoran 8 років тому +4

      I think they should have paid him (the assistant) with the grant money, and given her the money they had given him before.

  • @PassTheMarmalade1957
    @PassTheMarmalade1957 8 років тому +149

    "Your pay isn't set by us."
    Uh, yeah, but the assistant's was. Who looks at the wage someone is going to be getting and decides, "Let's pay the inexperienced assistant THAT WE DIDN'T EVEN INTERVIEW more, just because we can"? That's clearly not fair.

    • @Vicininater
      @Vicininater 8 років тому +4

      +PassTheMarmalade1957 I am completely sympathetic to her reaction, and her ex-boyfriend and boss don't sound like great guys. I usually agree with ALB. But this is being looked at the completely wrong way.
      Government is rarely fair or logical. It seems very clear that the company would have willingly paid more if they weren't restricted by government on her pay. The business has to pay competitive wages, the government doesn't. The company she worked for can't change those regulations; and while she's saying the pay should have been split it's very likely that that is illegal.
      TL;DR: Government is the problem here

    • @emilyshmelimy
      @emilyshmelimy 8 років тому +3

      John Galt The government i was only one part of the problem. The gallery was the other part of the problem. They had the option to pay what they wanted and decided to pay someone with no experience and less responsibilities more than the person they were supposed to be assisting. That's messed up.

    • @LocalBeachLion
      @LocalBeachLion 8 років тому +1

      No the situation is irritating. But the gov not having competitive wages and helping with funding within this project is not a problem.
      Technically there was no problem. His wage is set and her wage is set. One time I was payed 90 dollars less an hour than a woman doing lighter work than me because of where the money came from. Who cares. Good for her. Lesson learned.

    • @PassTheMarmalade1957
      @PassTheMarmalade1957 8 років тому +1

      Blackadder No, his wage wasn't set. They couldn't do anything about her wage, obviously, because they weren't the ones paying it, but they decided on what to pay her assistant. His wage was completely within their control, and they decided that it would be fine if the inexperienced assistant with fewer qualifications earned more than her.

    • @PassTheMarmalade1957
      @PassTheMarmalade1957 8 років тому +3

      John Galt That would make sense if the position had been advertised and they had to have a decent salary to bring someone in, but he was literally handed the job. They told her "Pick someone to work with" and then they hired him. Zero evaluation of his abilities. And in any case, it should be common sense to a business that an assistant does not make more than their boss. If they thought that going any lower than Alb's salary would have been really unfairly low, then they should have just paid them the same wage.

  • @MyDoanne
    @MyDoanne 8 років тому +57

    I think one of the most unfortunate things about this is the fact that your partner wasn't on your side with the situation. I mean that's kind of in the job description of what being a partner is.

    • @LocalBeachLion
      @LocalBeachLion 8 років тому

      She was also his partner. Shouldn't they have been on each others side then.

    • @Mariana923
      @Mariana923 8 років тому +9

      +Blackadder She was on his side. SHE GOT HIM THE JOB. The ex-scumbag should have seen the unfairness of the situation and support her. NOT frame it in a "Boohoo poor me doesn't have any qualifications or even as much responsibilities yet i make more but YOU don't want me to be happy because you don't let them screw you over" FUCK THAT NOISE. I got indigned on her behalf just listening to her story and i'm nothing to her, let alone partner, you know how that's called? Being a decent human being with common sense!!!

    • @LocalBeachLion
      @LocalBeachLion 8 років тому

      I'm just pointing out that the guy despite being an obvious jerk.( If he talked the way described here. ) Got lucky. He was paid more than if he was also government paid. So as a partnership, this was beneficial. As the total money was higher. Her idea to transfer half the difference to her is fantasy though. Behind every paycheck there is a long lists of rules that if broken causes hefty fines. With the gov on his neck and possible other external funding the price tags on both their jobs were rock solid. And to change that would only result in negative outcome for the partnership and possibly the company. The world doesnt work fairly. I mean i just ordered three oculus rifts for the family while a Syrian doctor can't even get his kid breakfast. This is a dollar on a side gig. Just make him work a bit more for that dollar as leader, you pointed it out with the company, it is what it is.
      Personally I would not have taken the job. And that's also her own comment.

    • @Mariana923
      @Mariana923 8 років тому +4

      The paychecks where probably set in stone but it's still unfair, still unjust. She could have simply not take the job but fact is she didn't and i'm sure she had her reasons, not everyone has the luxury to just quit. The ex may have been "lucky" but we are talking about morals and moral support here (not even about the money really). Even if the world is not fair he should have stood behind her, he should have seen how the whole deal was being unfair towards her. We MAKE this world. Of course splitting the check was idealistic we know the kind of world we live in BUT the only way to painfully, slowly and ever so slightly change it is to NOT accept scenarios like this. If the rules are wrong we change them, if the "that's just how it is" is unfair we change that. You're not helping anyone justifying him or the situation. I don't care if "as a partnership it was beneficial" that's just missing the point. The only way to make this world better is to do the right thing, even in the smallest things. And HE DIDN'T. How is that any difficult to see? How can you listen to this story and get "they should have been on each other sides" as if she was "equally" or at all in the wrong and not the one wronged here? I don't even know why i bother answering you but here it is anyway.

  • @VampirateYuki
    @VampirateYuki 8 років тому +76

    That is so completely fucked up. I am so angry for you. Also I just want to say that you didn't let it happen, you tried and they manipulated you. They are at fault, not you at all, you did the best you could at that point in time and I'm glad you stood up for yourself.

  • @manabluerose
    @manabluerose 8 років тому +116

    How the hell does he not understand why you'd be upset? You're HIS boss. Why would you get paid less?
    This is some Seinfeld bullshit, but real life. It's ridiculous. You are his boss. You position is higher lever. That's how payment works. This story makes me sad.... It makes me realize the pay gap is so real between men and women.

    • @MarresArt
      @MarresArt 8 років тому +1

      +Mika Rose (Sweetdeath) yeah except for that this has nothing to do with gender, just with different parties that pay out and a bunch of people that just don't understand.

    • @manabluerose
      @manabluerose 8 років тому +1

      Yuno Gasai Agreed. It is definitely more of a bad business policy than actual gender, but I believe the gender part comes in when the boyfriend just expects to be paid more regardless of his position. It is definitely just business bullshit really.

    • @MarresArt
      @MarresArt 8 років тому

      i can agree on that. indeed, sounds kinda like the boyfriend doesn't fully support her cause of his ego :/

    • @manabluerose
      @manabluerose 8 років тому +1

      At least he's an ex now.

    • @manabluerose
      @manabluerose 8 років тому +1

      The worst is when a female boss is being bold and assertive, she's a bitch, but when a man does it, he's just being a boss.

  • @bogieee100
    @bogieee100 8 років тому +47

    It baffles me that your partner didn't suggest giving you half of the difference.He was the one that could've solved it and he was the one that should've cared about your sense of injustice.I don't know if their reaction is highly sexist or just plain irrational but it does sound more as a demand for you to be happy and supportive of 'your man'.

  • @Blackjacksz
    @Blackjacksz 8 років тому +51

    i'm glad he's your ex now

  • @thejemgirlchannel1585
    @thejemgirlchannel1585 8 років тому +50

    To be fair, your boss should have set the rate for the assistant at a slightly lower rate as long as it's within the legal amount, or paid you the difference. I once stood up to a boss who was underpaying me by the legal amount and he would not change my wage and made up all these stupid excuses why. As you can imagine, I was so angry, but at least I had stood up to him. So I went on a job hunting frenzy and found another job of the same description within a week that paid above the correct amount. And I had so much pleasure letting this ass of a boss know that I was leaving for a new job that was paying me appropriately and I said it with such confidence and I'm sure I even had a smug look on my face too. And the look on his face when I told him was priceless! He looked so shocked and he was not happy that I was leaving, cos I was good at what I did. But his loss! Plus I figured, I'm not going to stay in a job where I am not respected for asking for what the state law expects, so if a boss is not paying correctly, you have the power to stand up for yourself and even if you move onto another job cos that boss will not budge, you will not regret standing up for yourself. ;)

  • @Xx4sugar4xX
    @Xx4sugar4xX 8 років тому +67

    Wow. It's ridiculous that they tried to make you feel guilty because they thought your goal was to make your partner be paid less. How could they not understand the obvious problem there?

  • @Greenteajuicy
    @Greenteajuicy 8 років тому +46

    You got him the job in the first place ......i applaud you for speaking up

  • @Stephanie_Vincent
    @Stephanie_Vincent 8 років тому +89

    Obvious case of sexism. Enraging! No wonder he's your ex. My partner would be pissed if this happened.

    • @Nunekhiia
      @Nunekhiia 8 років тому

      +Stephanie Vincent gosh I was like freaking out because wasn't sure which partner she was referring to! because Niko seems to be so sweet! but now that I read your comment I feel at peace.

    • @wizzy615
      @wizzy615 8 років тому +5

      +Stephanie Vincent Not sexism. The government decided they would pay her X amount. The company had no say and no way of going around it. I'm pretty sure if the company had things their way, they'd pay her more. The company was paying her bf what they thought was fair rather than the government deciding what was fair. The only option would be to pay him less. Do I think she should have been paid more? Absolutely! No doubt there, but when you have government deciding for you, thats what happens

    • @phalyn1
      @phalyn1 8 років тому +29

      +Lisa Forney The sexism was more in the way they treated her request for the pay disparity to be addressed. They essentially demonized her when she tried complaining instead of paying attention to her point of view and trying to fix the problem. In Canada, private employers hiring with government grants can use their own funds to pad the wages. The museum made the decision to create a budget for hiring assistant; they should have either included money in that budget for supplementing her salary or they should have made the salary for the assistant position less. The assistant position had no experience requirements, it was an entry level job. By paying the assistant more, they devalued her job. By treating her like a villain for speaking up, they were devaluing her.

    • @KristinMoran
      @KristinMoran 8 років тому +5

      +phalyn1 or they could have offered something else, additional vacation time, season tickets somewhere... Something!

  • @FeloniousAngel
    @FeloniousAngel 8 років тому +28

    A difference of a dollar an hour is significant.

  • @chloelookingup
    @chloelookingup 8 років тому +50

    PSA: THE PAY GAP IS REAL

    • @Vicininater
      @Vicininater 8 років тому +1

      +Chloe Ann PSA: The government is the problem here, not the company she worked for

    • @chloelookingup
      @chloelookingup 8 років тому +8

      okay but the fact that the company could clearly see what she was being paid and chose to pay him that much anyways is a problem in itself. not to even BEGIN to mention how the two men behaved when she addressed the situation.

    • @Vicininater
      @Vicininater 8 років тому +1

      Chloe Ann Yes, they behaved poorly. Completely agree. But what you're saying is they should have purposefully paid him less. Isn't that the opposite of everything ALB has said?
      The reason she got paid less was the government, not the boss or boyfriend. If the company was free to pay her more, of course they would have.

    • @spookypen
      @spookypen 8 років тому +2

      +Chloe Ann Her story didn't validate that at all. Her wage was being set by an outside government group, he was being paid by the gallery. Is it ridiculous? Yes. Does that validate the wage gap in any way? No.
      edit: Also she was working in Art, which is always full of bullshit and nonsense.

    • @eerosalonen
      @eerosalonen 8 років тому +7

      +John Galt Company itself is the problem they could easily just offered her some additional responsibilities that would make her also their employee and pay her more as they clearly had money to pay. Now they purposefully insult person by paying her assistant more. It is just idiotic behaviour from the gallery as it build resentment in their better qualified and therefore in their more important worker which will most likely to lower work morale and long run also cost them talent. So company is the problem here and they also didn't do any favour for themselves.

  • @theabnormalsquid
    @theabnormalsquid 8 років тому +27

    Just the fact in itself that you were paid less than YOUR assistant, regardless of if he was your boyfriend or not, is insane. Any logical thinking person would hear that statement and question what was really going on. I'm glad you're not with that guy anymore because anyone who doesn't understand your perspective there isn't the person for you. You deserve so much better than that.

  • @LadyDynamitez
    @LadyDynamitez 8 років тому +163

    It's so typical of those men. When it's an issue that a woman is having and finding unfair and sexist, that's about HER pay and HER work, men turn it around to be about themselves. "So u dont want me to get paid? So u aren't happy for me?" is like???? That's not what she's even talking about for fuck's sake!!

    • @mannicca
      @mannicca 8 років тому +10

      +Fuller Mac transparent trolling?

    • @mannicca
      @mannicca 8 років тому +10

      where did she say all men? what was sexist in her comment, she pointed out the obvious in the story? i saw your other comment, thats why i asked you. ;)

    • @Faes_gaming
      @Faes_gaming 8 років тому +2

      +Fuller Mac Because your commenting on not only her comment but others as well! And your hating, your the sexist!

    • @mannicca
      @mannicca 8 років тому +6

      you can love women and be sexist. :) same as being racist and having POC as your friends or partner, or being homophobic and having gay friends.
      i took that as she refer to men in Albs story. not every men. she never said men, or all men. dont take things out of context.
      its shocking to me that you call someone who fought against injustice a "brat", but when someone calls out selfish men, one of whom she recommended for a job, and who got payed better for no good reason, and was her bf on top of all that, you call that sexist generalization. thats where you show your true colours. :)

    • @emilyelkins6944
      @emilyelkins6944 7 років тому

      mannicca no you can't.

  • @ElsieLovelock
    @ElsieLovelock 8 років тому +41

    UGH. This makes me so mad on your behalf. I don't see how people couldn't get how obvious your point is. Like, it's completely fair. I just don't understand why they found that so confusing and why they were making you out to feel selfish. If it had happened to either of them, or if it had happened to ANYONE for that matter, no doubt they would have had a massive problem with it too. Sigh.

  • @reizendefee549
    @reizendefee549 8 років тому +74

    If I were your boyfriend I'd have been baffled too and want to stick up for you. I mean, I'd be bummed it'd potentially lead to my pay getting lowered but I feel honesty and fairness is best in this situation. Of course for women this is easier said than done. Whether it was their intention or not, the situation screamed misogyny. It seems like they both showed a complete lack of sympathy and understanding of YOUR concerns and of course expected you to be a good little girlfriend and just be happy for your boyfriend.

  • @ramywiles
    @ramywiles 8 років тому +57

    The fact that they BOTH tried to frame it as you not wanting your boyfriend to succeed is utterly baffling to me. Like your boyfriend doing it kind of makes sense? Obviously I don't know him, so I don't know whether that'd be within his character to assume that that was the situation and take a "you don't want me to do well" stance, but I could see that sort of thing making sense within the context of a relationship, depending on the circumstances/dynamics/etc of that relationship. But your boss? What the fuck.

  • @BrotherAlpha
    @BrotherAlpha 8 років тому +62

    The fact that the men don't understand why you would be angry... How? How can they not see that this is wrong?

    • @Nexus2Eden
      @Nexus2Eden 8 років тому

      +BrotherAlpha Don't generalize all men like that, I completely understand why she would have been pissed - and I would have completely supported her as a co-worker and friend...and I'm a man. So men do understand.

    • @elyonum
      @elyonum 8 років тому +11

      +Nexus2Eden forgive me for butting in, but they said "the men"; as in, the men in the room. The boyfriend and the boss. So calm down dude lol

    • @danielguerra1562
      @danielguerra1562 8 років тому +2

      +Nexus2Eden i think brotheralpha is referring to the two men in the situation not all men.

    • @Rainbow-Reilly
      @Rainbow-Reilly 8 років тому +11

      +Nexus2Eden They weren't generalizing, though. They literally said "THE men," as in Ange's boyfriend and boss, who she explictly said didn't understand why it upset her. So this isn't the time for a #NotAllMen moment.

    • @Nexus2Eden
      @Nexus2Eden 8 років тому +1

      Claire-Louise Reilly Sorry Claire, I didn't catch that (dyslexic). I only saw the "..fact that men" as the correct syntax would be to state 'those men' not 'the men' as 'the' is a generalizing pronoun. Just making sure it wasn't a #notallmen moment. :D

  • @blueskies000
    @blueskies000 8 років тому +71

    This is ridiculous! And people say gender bias doesn't exist. What gets me even more is when women have high-level degrees (Master's, etc) and STILL get paid less.
    I had a situation where I was offered barely above minimum wage for a job I had previous experience in. I took it because I was so desperate. Since then, I've learned my lesson. I've said "I need at least __ an hour" or "that isn't a living wage for me." Sometimes, it leads to companies rescinding their offer. If you care about your employees, you'll pay them enough to be able to survive comfortably. Thankfully, I have a great job now.

    • @reizendefee549
      @reizendefee549 8 років тому

      +B Good for you! People need to get better at negotiating their wages. It's one thing if it's a retail or waiting service job (no offense to those who work in that field - they deserve living wages nonetheless). But for a field that requires a degree and experience, the workers most definitely deserve some respect. It's important to read your contract and discuss it with your potential employer. If what they're paying you is not a living wage or a comfortable wage when it should be, then you are fully within your right to ask for more pay.

    • @gabrielmaceiraalvarez8023
      @gabrielmaceiraalvarez8023 8 років тому +7

      I dont think this was related to gender. Simply one person was being paid by the government, the other by the gallery, and each decided how much to pay... The gallery had a better payment scale, clearly. Still, shitty situation, no matter the gender.

    • @wwelss
      @wwelss 8 років тому +1

      +Gabriel Maceira I agree. It's more than likely that the assistant, who happened to be a man, was paid more because the gallery's payment scale was better. I'm sure all the other assistants were paid the same as Angie's assistant regardless of gender. But I do think this situation sucked and was absolutely fucked up. They should've absolutely adjusted their payment scale for that particular assistant first thing when hiring him or split the difference between the two like Angie suggested.

    • @reizendefee549
      @reizendefee549 8 років тому +8

      No excuses. I've worked for a place that received government money in order to hire people. And they combined the government money and some of their private funds to up my pay. They could have done that for her.

    • @atlasasmr8529
      @atlasasmr8529 8 років тому +4

      +Gabriel Maceira I think she understood the logical reasons WHY she was paid less, I think the problem is the responses from her boyfriend and her boss accusing her of being demanding for her wanting to be paid more for doing more work. I think that if it had been a man going in and discussing this, he wouldn't have been called "demanding" especially as that is an adjective generally reserved for women, and may have had his concerns taken more seriously.

  • @MacabreMarco
    @MacabreMarco 8 років тому +39

    I love how she danced around the truth of 'he's a guy and was getting paid more' like we all know the truth that was what happened. I never knew that her ex acted like that though. Like wow. WOW. 'why don't you want me to get paid' that's not what is going on?? What?? That just sounds sketchy as hell to me...

  • @shadoshadinski
    @shadoshadinski 8 років тому +62

    I feel like the conversation with your ex was an hour long version of this:
    alb - I'm getting paid less than you.
    boyfriend - So you want me to get paid less?
    alb - No, I just don't think it's fair that I'm getting paid less.
    boyfriend - So you want me, YOUR BOYFRIEND, to get paid less.
    alb - No. I'm getting paid less than you for doing more work.
    boyfriend - I can't believe you can't be happy for me.
    alb - *facepalms into infinity*

    • @akinamwr
      @akinamwr 8 років тому

      +shadoshadinski and to add to that, she's saying they should be paid equally b/c of job, and he still doesn't quite.... understand that.

  • @inmyownworld11
    @inmyownworld11 8 років тому +20

    I can't believe your boyfriend at the time didn't stand up for you. I can't believe he was okay with that and actually ARGUING with you. That's the part that frustrates me the most about this story.

  • @AudraAuclair
    @AudraAuclair 8 років тому +14

    Thanks for letting us hear your story. I hope it helped. It's so hard to have the past roar it's ugly head up to remind you that you didn't act the way you "should have". It really blows, but you are such a strong and intelligent human and you maybe wouldn't have become what you are now if it hadn't happened. Now you have people watching that may experience the same thing and they are warned to actually do something about it until it's resolved. I'm sorry you had to experience such a crumby situation.

  • @HorseTrampoline
    @HorseTrampoline 8 років тому +34

    I hate when people insinuate that you're crazy for wanting rational things??? Love u lady I hope you can find a cool job with kids and art that pays you fairly!!

  • @Savannah-
    @Savannah- 8 років тому +62

    Ugh, I got angry just listening to this. That's completely unfair.

  • @aelmaitv
    @aelmaitv 8 років тому +27

    OMG I am sitting here, listening to this story and JUST THE FACT that those guys were NOT understanding what the real issue was is making me SO frustrated (let alone the fact that you got paid less! I mean, UGH!) Good to hear that you learned from it though!

  • @RavensSarora
    @RavensSarora 8 років тому +20

    That is so fucking messed up it blows my mind. And their attitude alone would have made me slap someone. The whole thing was unacceptable.

  • @andiefromhell
    @andiefromhell 8 років тому +17

    I also find it appalling that your ex-boyfriend didn't suggest splitting his extra money in half and giving it to you. I feel like if you can't fix the problem with your boss, you should at least be able to fix it with your partner in private.

  • @HowtobeFancy
    @HowtobeFancy 8 років тому +24

    Oh, hands up all over the place!! So been there! I found out a co-worker (who had the same title/responsibilities as I did) was making 3 times my salary because "he was responsible for a family". If the same thing happened today, it would be a totally different story.

    • @mildgrooveon
      @mildgrooveon 8 років тому

      +HowtobeFancy WHAT

    • @theMoporter
      @theMoporter 8 років тому

      You totally should have sued him. That's totally illegal.

    • @HowtobeFancy
      @HowtobeFancy 8 років тому +1

      theMoporter Yes, well, I was 21 and really had no clue. Thankfully, I've learned how to speak up a little more these days. ;)

    • @theMoporter
      @theMoporter 8 років тому

      HowtobeFancy Yeah, I know how it is. People aren't informed of their options.

    • @TheScarlettTalutah
      @TheScarlettTalutah 8 років тому

      +Howtobe Fancy I'm currently in a job where my co-worker who is doing near enough the same job earns £24,000 per annum, whereas i earn £6,000 PA. I work a few more hours and have more responsibilities within the organisation. my co-worker is in the same year group at school but the difference is she has a degree and i do not. She is leaving and i tried to apply but told i wouldn't be likely to get the role as i don't have that degree. Eve though i have 2 years more experience in the organisation and with our clientele.

  • @Pandurz
    @Pandurz 8 років тому +22

    "Why do you want your boyfriend to get paid less?"
    .... Wtf. YEAH, THAT'S DEFINITELY WHAT SHE MEANT. Where the heeeeeell is the logic in that? Of COURSE you were looking to get a raise, not his wages lowered! I honestly would've had a difficult time not laughing at how absurd of a response that is.
    Why the hell not try to get you some extra (deserved) money and with some sweet justice on the side? There would be nothing for you to gain out of lowering your boyfriend's pay.

  • @janinakins9861
    @janinakins9861 8 років тому +26

    I'm surprised your boyfriend was so offended. Like...you have the skills and know how...how did no one understand that was an issue with him getting paid more??? But even know it's like not the best situation and it creeps up sometimes when you think you're over it...at least now you know that you are stronger than that. At least now if the problem occurs ever again you already know how to say no and know that you're better than that!

  • @PaolaTheTimeLord
    @PaolaTheTimeLord 8 років тому +15

    all i can think of, besides being SO furious and irritated at this because of how unfair the situation was, is how men's egos are so damn fragile if you say something that contradicts their situation, they get butt-hurt and make it seem like you're taking away their dignity when it wasn't theirs to begin with. this system needs to change. and not just because of this sexist situation but racist situations too. once, i was helping my mom apply for jobs because they closed her full time one and we needed some type of money (i am hispanic) so i went over to a local chinese place that was hiring. i asked the chinese lady if they can accept my mom. i said: look she's been working as a cashier for 5-9 years, she has a lot of experience. her english is rusty but she has experience. the chinese lady looked at my mom and i with a stank face, like if a dog just pooped all over her. she cut me off and my mom off and said: oh you can't work here etc etc. i got so mad that i threw her organized plastic plates on the ground. i'm still angry until this day. and what makes me furious is that it was another poc. another poc from another community was treating a poc badly, horribly even for just being hispanic.

  • @dodecasomnia
    @dodecasomnia 8 років тому +14

    Like I know the "Why aren't you happy for me?" and "Why do you want your boyfriend to be payed less?" is just basic misogyny, but I can't get over how fucking manipulative / gas-lighting that is...

  • @kaiteland9143
    @kaiteland9143 8 років тому +16

    i showed this to my husband and he was like "i would not be ok with that at all"

  • @Spooktastic1816
    @Spooktastic1816 8 років тому +36

    I think the most upsetting aspect about this was the fact your boyfriend at the time was not only unsupportive, but also sounded ANNOYED by you having a problem with it (also, you got him that job...argh. :c) . He knew who he was dating and I remember, even a few years ago, you were quite vocal about you opinions on similar issues, so...I find his reaction so off-putting when I think about that, if that makes any sense. Don't get me wrong, it is obviously an unfair employment issue (it's BS, but not surprising, unfortunately), but wow, major red flag with his behavior. I'm happy you have moved on from that, though - even if you were never able to get resolution for the pay difference. I believe you when you'd say you'd just laugh and walk out if that happened today!

    • @tastymedleys
      @tastymedleys 8 років тому +3

      +Heather Carey That's what bothered me the most too. I can't even comprehend how anyone in his position wouldn't be upset on behalf of their partner, the only reason he got the job anyway was because of her. It seems so ungrateful and insensitive.

  • @rawrsophiex
    @rawrsophiex 8 років тому +14

    Things like these happen to me all the time, especially at school. I seem to be the only one who notices it and when I want to stand up there's no one to listen or do anything. When I try to stand up by myself I am shot down, told to stop over reacting.. And I can't help feeling that it's because I'm just a "younger girl, who doesn't know anything"

  • @teddybeast
    @teddybeast 8 років тому +23

    I have a similar-ish story, it didn't involved pay but it did involve me at work dealing with two men who couldn't understand why I was upset.
    When I was 18, I worked in a casino restaurant as a cook and one night on the weekend we were swamped and my period decided to have a stress induced jump start just to make my night more complicated; but ya know, I handled it. Kept everything on my person so if I did need to go pee or do a drop and swap I had everything at the ready in my pockets.
    Well, later that night a coworker handed me a note to give to one of our bosses who was going to be in towards the end of shift. So I just stuffed it into my pocket and went on with life, forgetting about it till said boss showed up and asked for it. Well, I was still busy and not really thinking or caring I just reached into my pocket, grabbed what ever was in there and stuffed it into his hand. I ended up handing him the note as well as two tampons. (still in their wrappers of course).
    I think it took him a moment to realize what I had just handed him as he had this shocked expression that just slowly took over his face and then I realized what i had handed him, laughed ("Haha, oops" reaction) and took my tampons back, stuffed them back into my pocket and carried on with being busy and all that jazz, not giving it another thought what so ever.
    Well, the next day when I came in for my shift I got called to my bosses office where my boss that I had handed the tampons to by mistake and my other boss were waiting for me. Me, foolishly thinking it was going to be about that raise I should have already gotten, but OH NO, honey it was not.
    I was being written up for 'improper conduct int he work place" for handing my boss tampons; again, by mistake. I just sat there, dumbfounded for a moment.
    "You're writing me up because I accidentally made Frank(My boss) look at and hold some tampons?"
    Was my response and as the word "tampons" left my mouth I saw two grown ass men physically cringe and then chastise me for using 'foul' language in the work place. A work place where I have used words like 'fuck' and 'shit' almost on a daily bases and in front of them as well.
    So, of course I was upset but the two just expressed to me how I 'just didn't understand the uncomfortable situation that I had put them both in' and that I was being irrational.....

    • @moxiousch
      @moxiousch 8 років тому +9

      +DrowningJoy THAT IS SUCH FUCKING BULLSHIT. OH MY GOD. I almost shit myself with anger at your situation. Like, WHAT. Uncomfortable situation MY ASS.

    • @victoriahancock
      @victoriahancock 8 років тому +3

      +DrowningJoy IS THIS A JOKE THIS MAKES ME LIVID

    • @teddybeast
      @teddybeast 8 років тому +1

      +Victoria Rose (Coralrubble) I truly wish that it was a joke.

  • @Thecuriousincident1
    @Thecuriousincident1 8 років тому +11

    That is actually infuriating. ALB you were 100% right and you delt with it so well. Even though it didn't work out you did address it. I know many people who would be too afraid to even do that. That is a great story to tell people because it might help others in the future with similar experiences.

  • @sarahblack1021
    @sarahblack1021 8 років тому +30

    Wow I can't believe nobody backed you up on this, especially your (ex)boyfriend. This is absolutely ridiculous. I wonder if it had anything to do with the fact that you're a woman that they just said you were being demanding. At least you learned from it and won't let it happen to you in the future! You go girl!

  • @NewHologram
    @NewHologram 8 років тому +8

    That is such schwarbage. I totally relate to how it still gnaws at you from the inside even years later.

  • @CatLizWheel
    @CatLizWheel 8 років тому +8

    That's crazy! They should have looked at your pay rate and then based his pay off of what yours was. How difficult is that? Maybe they couldn't control your pay rate, but they could control his.
    I worked at a retail job where I was getting paid the same as everyone else on my level, but all of a sudden, they decided to have me train every.single.person who was hired (there was a high turn-over rate). This is a responsibility that 99% of my "same level" coworkers didn't have. You deal with teenagers who don't listen while you're training and then claimed, "Cat didn't tell me that," when they'd screw something up. (I'm a perfectionist, I never left things out during training.) After awhile, it got old. I went to my manager and told her I wanted a title (new hire trainer, or some such thing) and a raise. I explained that several of my coworkers would NEVER be given this responsibility (because, frankly, they were slackers), and yet we were given the same pay. Her response, "Oh, well, you should feel complimented - it means we think you're doing a good job!" I absolutely knew that's where she'd go with it - they were nothing, if not predictable.
    So, anyway, after that, they never asked me to train anyone again, and they left that responsibility to lower-level management (which it should have gone to anyway). This still weighs on me, too. I thought I was being so brave, standing up for myself (I've never been good at standing up for myself), but it didn't pay off the way I wanted it to. :/

  • @daniday-o3117
    @daniday-o3117 8 років тому +12

    At first I felt conflicted because I thought "well if it was honestly out of their control.. You don't want them to deduct pay from your bf..."
    Then I realized that was silly and obviously it would've made more sense to either quit or make sure a complaint to a higher up wouldn't have fixed the problem. I mean, there were definitely ways this could've been resolved or solved. I honestly think that assistant of yours should've been more outraged for you. You were the qualified one who handed him a job. He should've had more respect for you.
    If it makes you feel any better, I see why you didn't make the bold move you wish you had. Anybody could've fallen into that trap.

    • @reizendefee549
      @reizendefee549 8 років тому +5

      +DChristy M It's not entirely out of their control. The gallery could've taken an X amount away from her exes wage and added it on top of the grant money. You're allowed to do that. I've been paid through government funding before for a job, and the place I worked at felt like the workers weren't paid enough so they added $1.25 to our hourly wage from their own funds.

  • @corduroy99
    @corduroy99 8 років тому +29

    Equal pay, for equal work? In her case more pay for less work IF YOU ARE A GUY!

    • @elizabethbutler4649
      @elizabethbutler4649 8 років тому

      She was paid with grant money. this situation has nothing to do with gender bias...smh.

    • @corduroy99
      @corduroy99 8 років тому

      but I BET, I BET YOU that if Ange, woulda been a guy, things woulda been resolved in Ange's favor. Gender bias is alive and well!

    • @elizabethbutler4649
      @elizabethbutler4649 8 років тому

      Nope, they screw over everyone. The government nor your employers give two shots about anyone.

  • @StrongImaginationA
    @StrongImaginationA 8 років тому +29

    I'm currently taking a class 'Diversity, equality and inclusion in organizations' and it's basically a long list of all the different factors thay lead to discrimination on the labour market. Your story struck a chord with me because it's often arguments like this that are laid out by ppl who say tha wage gap isn't real. 'We can't do anything about it, it's a fixed wage, it's institutionalized!' Well guess what, that's the exact fucking problem - and you càn do something about it.

    • @wildflower2424
      @wildflower2424 8 років тому

      +J N Ellis that's horrendous, men shouldn't be paid more than a woman doing the sand job. ugh that just makes me angry for you!

    • @StrongImaginationA
      @StrongImaginationA 8 років тому

      ***** That's probably not even legal :(

  • @Modernairesblog
    @Modernairesblog 8 років тому +7

    I worked in retail management as a third key / assistant manager and found out that newly hired sales associates were being paid significant more money than I was making _as a manager._ When I confronted my boss about the issue, she told me to reapply for my pay raise come summer _(this was six months away, at the time)_ Why didn't I benefit from a raise when I should have? Because my manager marked my yearly review as "improvement, below meets requirements" merely because I had no knowledge or training for on-boarding or hiring. _(She held a personal grudge against myself and a few other employees for reporting sexual harassment against another manager, which caused her life "trouble" since HR took immediate action)_ Why didn't I have training for hiring? Because hiring was not in my job category, it wasn't my responsibility, there was a separate management role dedicated to hiring. Moral of the story... I continued to be paid less, the company continued to mistreat employees and I eventually quit-leaving retail was the best decision I'll _ever_ make.

    • @PassTheMarmalade1957
      @PassTheMarmalade1957 8 років тому +3

      +Modernaires I hate it when people use their authority to punish those they have a personal grudge against. That's not professional.

  • @JosetteDuCordray
    @JosetteDuCordray 8 років тому +5

    I was teaching English at this summer camp here in Italy over the summer. And on one of the first nights I was sexually assulted by my male camp leader. First I was stunned, not realising what to even do with myself, but then my roommates (all three of them were women in their 30's), told me to stop complaining about it and leave it alone as I was 'asking for it', like it was my fault! Not only did the actual assault leave a huge emotional scar, but the fact that my friends were pinning it on me probably hurt even more. I believed them as well. It took a few months for me to realise that hell no, its not my fault. Im still not completely over it, it was only 8 months ago. But I also think I've already started to be more aware of what Im worth, and not to let people treat me like that.

  • @christina-olivia5655
    @christina-olivia5655 8 років тому +8

    I can't help staring at how flawless your eyeliner looks!

  • @KianteWench
    @KianteWench 8 років тому +11

    So when they found out how much they could pay for your position, they should have created the assistant position with a corresponding amount congruent to the assistant's duties versus the teaching position duties. They should have never offered more for that position than they did for the teaching position simply because the job responsibilities are so vastly different. It isn't about male vs female. It's about not making a teacher feel like her experience and work duties are pointless in the grand scheme of things and way less important than an assistant.

  • @DarkArt888
    @DarkArt888 8 років тому +16

    The thing is, this obviously had nothing to do with greed or monatary (sp?) gain. This was about respect, and both your boyfriend and your boss decided to deny you that respect, and that can make a person feel like a piece of shit. Screw them, you have pink hair!

  • @kathulhurises
    @kathulhurises 8 років тому +14

    Your (now ex) boyfriend and the manager's response are so very upsetting to me.
    Like you said, "Why am I the only one thinking this is an issue?" While it obviously is. Jesus.

  • @grayeruanna6008
    @grayeruanna6008 8 років тому +11

    My teacher told us a story like this she and her husband went for the same job since they wanted two people to do the same work and when they both got it they paid him 5,000 a year more then her! They had the same education the same amount of people in the class to teach they taught the same units just they were employed by the same people, she did mon-wed morning and he did wed afternoon- Friday !!! It's stupid

  • @NoirRaven
    @NoirRaven 8 років тому +35

    Welcome to sexism.
    Edit: Please tell me you dumbed this boyfriend of yours? Because if he didn't support you here, then he's not going to support you when you really need it.

    • @CoroMagnetica
      @CoroMagnetica 8 років тому +8

      she did

    • @NoirRaven
      @NoirRaven 8 років тому +5

      Sexy scientist Yeah it's pretty much is. They paid her boyfriend more solely because he was male and fought against her with the criticism, "Well why do you want him to earn less?" She's demanding equal rights and equal payment and if they couldn't give her more then by all means, they should have split the difference. That isn't bargaining for the boyfriends loss, it's bargaining for _mutual benefits._

    • @kokeru
      @kokeru 8 років тому +2

      +NoirRaven did you...even watch the video?

    • @kokeru
      @kokeru 8 років тому

      Mei Ki yes, actually

    • @NoirRaven
      @NoirRaven 8 років тому

      Poison Alice Yes, I did and their reasoning for not giving her a raise, is bullshit. If they can afford to pay her boyfriend this amount, then they can make room in the budget to add to her salary. Not to mention she should be getting paid more by default for being more qualified. To refuse paying her equally all comes down to sex because everything else was eliminated and their attitudes show that they cared more about him losing profit, than the injustice that is her being paid less by the grant even though she is the more qualified employee.

  • @hugsfromholly
    @hugsfromholly 8 років тому +9

    Generally any sort of supervisor should be making more than who they're supervising no matter what. Even if ALB's wage was set and there was absolutely nothing they could do about it, the company she worked for should have automatically paid her assistant/boyfriend less because that's just part of establishing hierarchy within a company. This is especially true if it's an unskilled position.

  • @randomroseyposey
    @randomroseyposey 8 років тому +37

    My moms boyfriend gets paid a lot more than her and they have the same job. And they both have the same qualifications because they went to the same school. Thats where they met lol my mom is a little salty about the whole situation but I'm more upset about it then she is because I'm thinking its a gender thing. But there have been soooo many times in my life where I feel I should have put up a fight more and demanded more and I constantly think about it lol

    • @MisaMisuMajide
      @MisaMisuMajide 8 років тому

      Do they work at the exact same company/workplace?

    • @randomroseyposey
      @randomroseyposey 8 років тому

      +Brittney Mars yes, they work in the same building and have the same boss. theyre both good at their jobs. they both have excellent patient care.

    • @MisaMisuMajide
      @MisaMisuMajide 8 років тому

      +kookoo Thats messed up! and im assuming theyve been working there the same amount of time?

    • @randomroseyposey
      @randomroseyposey 8 років тому

      +Brittney Mars yep! they graduated at the same time and both got the jobs at the same time. and now my mom just did training so she could do more work (CT on top of xray)

  • @SincerelyHannah
    @SincerelyHannah 8 років тому +7

    Sorry you had to deal with that shit Ang! That sounds so messed up they tried to guilt you into accepting less pay or questioned why you "wanted your bf to be paid less" like how lame of them. But it's so great you learned from your experience and are sharing it! I think this will definitely help other girls stand up for equal pay.

  • @MortiravanPelt
    @MortiravanPelt 8 років тому +1

    I think we all have a story like this one. It's so important not to blame yourself. You can't help the way others treat/mistreat you, and you should never apologize for feeling your feelings.

  • @Cass_idy_
    @Cass_idy_ 8 років тому +4

    I worked as a sales team project manager with two men hired to work for me and a woman as my boss. She made me feel like I was paid in relation to my work and gave me raises and made me feel good about it. When I moved away the men contacted me to say they made $6 and $8 more than me AND I was the lowest paid person in the building and everyone knew it. I felt like shit and embarrassed and they had no idea why there was such a difference in our pay but felt bad about it. It still bugs me.

  • @CJGatsby
    @CJGatsby 8 років тому +4

    I hope you know that your feelings about this situation were totally valid. There's no logical reason why your assistant - who is less qualified, and does less work - should be paid more than you. Even accounting for the fact that your salary was set. You had every right to kick up a fuss.

  • @goldenbrowngod
    @goldenbrowngod 8 років тому +29

    wow, I can't believe how dense was for not understanding why you'd be upset

  • @zoragirl13
    @zoragirl13 8 років тому +5

    One of the theories as to why women get paid less than men still is because we, because of social pressure and socialization, don't negotiate for as high of pay as men do. A lot of women have been coming out and saying they feel uncomfortable asking for more even when they find out their male counterparts are making more than them, because they'll be afraid of being seen as too pushy or demanding. I know this doesn't apply exactly to your situation because it sounds like the salary was set for both of you beforehand, but the interactions with your boss and boyfriend when you brought up the subject shows that women's fears are grounded in reality.

  • @LovelyLor
    @LovelyLor 8 років тому +17

    That does suuuuuck and I'm bummed that it bothers you BUT you learned so much from it and you at least addressed it and by talking about it, others will be inspired to deal with it! Also....I hate interviews and can't handle my anxiety in them so maybe you can help me with that hahah we can have play pretend mock interviews :D (and dress up of course!)

  • @AshyLove17
    @AshyLove17 8 років тому +6

    Wow.I am so sorry that happend to you. I got my now ex boyfriend hired at the hotel I was working at, he had no experience in hotels at all and they hired him for $1.50 an hour more than I was making at the time and he was promised several raises. I had to fight for 8 months to get above what they hired me for. In fact the only reason I got the tiny raise I was promised when I was hired was because my cellphone got stolen from behind the desk while I was on shift and I threatend to quit. When I talked to my boss who was the owner of the hotel he told me I was being selfish and I should want my boyfriend to be successful.. All I wanted was fair pay. I worked my butt off for that hotel and the guests could see it. I also had to train my idiot boyfriend how to do his job. I ended up leaving and he was fired soon after. I will never settle for that crap again.

  • @Rajaalke
    @Rajaalke 8 років тому +3

    I'm always amazed at what I used to put up with, even just a year ago. It's so frustrating to think about now, but in a society that teaches women to not be empowered, how can we know until we've experienced it? But it's the fact that we all experience it at some point that makes me so angry. The fact that we have to have those shitty experiences at all. I always feel so helpless to it, and so I'm always angry. For what I can't do for myself, and what I can't do for other women and girls. That I can't rectify this systemic problem in our toxic culture. It gets me worked up everyday. Thanks for sharing your story, I feel your pain. Love you!

  • @sarahbolton6343
    @sarahbolton6343 8 років тому +7

    I had a female co worker who had worked at our job for two years and then a male co worker came in and he started off making more than she did in her second year. They addressed our boss and our boss was upset we discussed payment. She told our boss she would quit if she didn't get a raise. She's still here so I guess she got a raise. The whole situation sucks. DISCUSS YOUR PAY, it is legal and it is important!

    • @pnrex5160
      @pnrex5160 8 років тому +3

      I wish more people knew this! There's a reason why your boss tells you not to talk about salaries, they just don't want you to find out how much you're getting screwed

    • @pnrex5160
      @pnrex5160 8 років тому

      I wish more people knew this! There's a reason why your boss tells you not to talk about salaries, they just don't want you to find out how much you're getting screwed

  • @LockstockinSam
    @LockstockinSam 8 років тому +4

    ARGH I am so sorry this happened to you. I know exactly what this kind of boss-manipulation thing is like, and it's really hard to stand up for yourself when you're under pressure and scrutiny!
    My first job was at a male-owned florist shop in Winnipeg. All of the employees were female, because boys can't sell flowers, apparently. The two bosses were brothers, and their dad owned the biz. So any given day, you worked under one of the Bros. I worked for 4 years at this job, and believe me when I say that, while it was one of the best jobs I've had (and I have lasting friendships from it to this day) they were the most ridiculously 1950s male bosses I've ever had. I worked alongside some girls who'd been there 6 years plus, and never got a raise above minimum. And holidays, which you were expected to work, were PUNISHING.
    The last Christmas I worked there, the entire staff was on deck--7 of us, and most of us had been working 8 hour days for 14 days straight. Again, minimum wage (at the time...9.50/hr?) But it's def against the law to pressure people to work that amount of time without some kind of bonus (HA!) or overtime pay (DOUBLE HA!) Any girl who had tried to call the MB Labour Board on them were literally destroyed for their effort. So the rest of us just shrugged and settled for the only bonus we could expect...a nice Christmas centrepiece, since they always made extras.
    So end of Christmas Eve Day rolls around. For 14 days we have slaved, on our feet, either handselling upstairs or making arrangement after arrangement downstairs (and yes, florists got paid more, but us shop girls, doing the same work, got paid substantially less) killing ourselves for that sweet sweet centrepiece prize. Day winds down. One of the bros., who has the look and manner of a used car salesmen, tells us that we are now only allowed to take home 'fridge cuts'--meaning the cut flowers in the back room fridge that are a day away from the trash.
    I just snapped. I'd had it. I said 'OH I DON'T THINK SO' and stormed downstairs to where the centrepieces were. All the other girls, after recovering, followed suit, and son we each marched back upstairs with TWO CENTREPIECES EACH, and by god the look on our boss' face was glorious.
    Haha...a small victory, but when it's all you can go after...I think it did help me later in life, though, as the kernel that built me up towards saying 'no' in my professional life. You're a strong and fabulous person, Ange, and I know it haunts you still, but you have learned from it, and you are now showing others that standing up for yourself, positive result or not, is worth it!

  • @rawrberrysonline
    @rawrberrysonline 8 років тому +21

    But the wage gap doesn't exist right?....please. Stories like this are all over the place I am in property management and I recently found out that a male co-worker who was hired on after I was has received more raises and was initially hired on at a higher pay than I was for the exact same position, and I'd like to note that he is managing less property and less units than I am. It's all because he's a guy plain and simple.

  • @TheSightOfTheStars
    @TheSightOfTheStars 8 років тому +2

    That was totally unfair and kind of sickening. Why would anyone think that it's fair to pay someone with less experience and fewer responsibilities more than someone with more experience and more responsibilities, then guilt trip the person who is being shorted for demanding equal pay? Frankly, it's a little bit terrifying that things like this still commonly happen.

  • @wandaloosa
    @wandaloosa 8 років тому +7

    What??? If your employer knew that your pay was set, but they could dictate the pay of your ex-boyfriend, how could they not look at your pay and adjust your ex's pay to be at least the same, if not less due to his qualifications/what he would be doing in his job compared to yours? Like... they may not be able to raise /your/ pay, but they /could/ lower his. It was a deliberate choice on their part to make your ex's pay more than yours. Fuck, this is giving me second hand anger/frustration.

    • @untappedinkwell
      @untappedinkwell 8 років тому +4

      +Heather Kay Or they could even have had a conversation with her in advance: "hey, we like you a lot, but this is the situation going on, and since it's you're SO working for you, we'd like to do this thing in hopes that it will benefit both of you." Or yeah, just like... been fair.

  • @furniture5223
    @furniture5223 8 років тому +2

    I had to go through the same situation several times at my old job. I was in charge of training all new employees at a restaurant and making sure, after a while, they knew their job without being instructed. After having the position for about six months, training about 15 people in that time frame, and basically getting yelled at for the employees not paying attention to their jobs, I found out that half of them were starting out making $1.50 more than me when I started. Now, I was making about 60 cents more than most of them at the end of the 6 months, but they started better than myself. I had previous kitchen experience, in a better kitchen, while maybe 2 of them (mainly all teens in school) actually knew how to boil water. I ignored it because I knew most of them wouldn't have their job in a month with the lack of caring they showed... until one of them went on to skipping my position and became my boss. He left our store to run another one, then returned as our general manager. All the while, in about 5 or so months, making about 6 dollars more than me. Needless to say, shortly after that I left. There were more reasons to my leaving, but that was a major one. I wasn't considered competent enough to manage a few people, yet this kid was going to run a store... Honestly, if I didn't need the money to pay for family issues, I would have left in the middle of my shift after hearing about that pay discrepancy. I feel your annoyance miss ALB, though looking back, you should have walked out. I'm glad you were able to take something from that experience. Hope you're doing well, keep smiling..! :)

  • @bettyhall7743
    @bettyhall7743 8 років тому +8

    My senior year of high school I was a student teacher for the martial arts program we had at our school as part of a requirement for being able to test for my black belt. This was at a performing art school and when I went there it was grades 5-12. One day I came in to find a kid who was probably in the 5th or 6th grade division playing with the weights we kept in our dojo, and since this was a no no (kid was the size of a toothpick, had no supervision, etc) I told him 'no' in what I thought was a firm, but kind matter. JUST THEN this PE teacher walks through the room on his way to the showers and says "come on buddy" to the kid, and I think, "ok, good, he's going to take this kid with him and now it's no big deal" and right when he and the kid start heading into the locker room, but still clearly within my hearing range, I see him turn, look me in the eye while walking away, and say, TO THIS 12 YEAR OLD CHILD, "what a bitch, huh?"
    HEAD-SPLODE.
    So, I managed to muscle up my courage. First I told our martial arts teacher what happened and his response was "eh, that guy's just playing around". So I muscle up a bit more courage and tell the PE Dept head and get the same response. THEN I go to the councilor and make an official written statement. A week later I get pulled into a meeting with all the PE teachers and the principal and I was asked (me = 17 year old child, the room = 6 fully grown men all 40+) WHY did I have to make a big deal about this? What was I trying to do? Get that teacher in trouble? What was wrong with me that getting a teacher in trouble gave me such a perverse thrill? Was I having issues at home? They honestly threatened to have me sent to mandatory counseling because I either had to be 1) lying or 2) telling the truth, but if I was then I was just running and tattling and it was WRONG and UNHEALTHY for me to seek a greater power dynamic over a teacher. So I just sat there in my chair and started to shake, crying my eyes out, until I agreed to sign something saying I would just drop the issue.
    I've been out of high school for almost a decade, and this STILL makes me mad. The thing that weighs on me the most is thinking about how many other girls that guy was probably horrible to, and how many he got away with being horrible to, because I was just a kid and had no idea how to put my foot down and stick to my guns. He probably was also passing on this totally gross behavior to the boys under his care too. What a jerk. Permanent jock itch! That's what I wish for him. Bah!

    • @moxiousch
      @moxiousch 8 років тому +2

      +betty hall I keep reading the stories in the comments and I swear, I'm sweating from the fucking rage. The gall, the UTTER gall, of grown-ass men manipulating and pushing you around because you, an underage girl, DARED to ask for basic respect. Jesus FUCKING Christ.

    • @victoriahancock
      @victoriahancock 8 років тому +1

      +moxiousch Im doing the same thing and having the same response...im so livid right now

  • @etienneetienne3164
    @etienneetienne3164 8 років тому +4

    My first boyfriend and i stayed together a long time. We were 15 when we met, and we breakup at 27... so we knew each other a long time before we started to really be "active and productives adults". He was (still is) working in a trade sector, as i was (and still am) working in an artistic creative small business. He was from time to time making jokes about my "silly" job, because in his eyes "art can't be serious". He always assumed i was making less money than him. Throught the years, money became more and more an important topic for him in life. I'm the opposite of that, i really don't like talking about that kind of topic in general conversation. The day he finally realised I was making more money than HIM (because i finally told him after he made one more stupid joke about my job "not being an real adult job"), the atmosphere between us were never the same. I wouldn't say it was "the" cause of our breakup, but it was definitly a part of it. I could even say "the beginning" of it.

  • @HeyyMario
    @HeyyMario 8 років тому +32

    This is random but your teeth are getting straighter. How are you liking the trays? I got braces the same exact week as you

    • @albinwonderland
      @albinwonderland  8 років тому +26

      +MarioEaston Ah, really?? For me I can't tell the difference, but I see my teeth every day so it's kind of impossible for me to notice! It feels good knowing you can see improvements!
      I'm finding them really fine honestly, it's just a part of my routine now. The day and day after I change to a new tray I'm a bit sore but it feels like I'm less sore every time, I think I'm getting used to the pain. How have yours been?

    • @srslyMKNZ
      @srslyMKNZ 8 років тому

      +albinwonderland I definitely can tell too!

    • @HeyyMario
      @HeyyMario 8 років тому

      +albinwonderland I know exactly what you mean about not noticing. But what helps is looking at old videos/ pictures and then that's when you notice the difference, but you're definitely right it's hard to notice if you look at them everyday because they move so slow. I'm used to them but I would prefer not having them lol but I think it's because I'm so impatient. Good luck, I can't wait until I'm done with mine.

    • @primadonnaqueen3685
      @primadonnaqueen3685 8 років тому

      +albinwonderland I think you should take a picture of your teeth every month.

  • @cariannekulwicki5426
    @cariannekulwicki5426 8 років тому +7

    Your story had me grinding my teeth. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that!

  • @squ33ble
    @squ33ble 8 років тому +4

    This reminds me of the whole argument on whether you should talk about your wages or not to other employees. Employers make it such a taboo, but really it IS something we should be talking about. A company shouldn't be able to pay people unfairly and then tell the employees to hide it so THEY don't have to feel or look bad. I have that at my current company. I love the company overall, and I'm really thankful for my job, but they're the typical office where people that have been there for years are paid less than the starting wages for new people as the company grows. Telling people not to talk about it and framing it as "employee vs employee" and not "employee vs company" is just...ugh.

    • @midnightfox653
      @midnightfox653 8 років тому

      +squ33ble At my job everyone of each level gets paid the same, but at the same time it is frustrating cause you can be a senior staff and make the same as new hires. Also, they changed the system and gave bonuses to new hires for certain lengths of time they works (like 300 hour bonus ect), but didn't give that to staff that had been there the whole time. So, you were there like 7 years and would hear that this new hire got a 500 dollar bonus for just not quitting before he reached whatever benchmark. Very frustrating. It didn't seem to promote the older staff to stay....

  • @Silverkestrel
    @Silverkestrel 8 років тому +9

    That sounds incredibly baffling and frustrating, like, if they were paying an extra person who was not part of this grant that much money, why could they not also pay you a little more than the grant set in place. Not changing your pay but as like a second, extra wage to make it fair. And it's not the ideal, because obviously you didn't want him to get paid less, but as much as it would hurt his feelings to lower his pay that's what they were already doing to you by knowing your work was a certain set value and making his more from the start, he could honestly deal with it if he cared about you. After all, you got him the job.

  • @sambeawesome
    @sambeawesome 8 років тому +12

    Wow, how infuriating! Mostly due to the lack of understanding, especially from your partner! That's a shame, but I'm glad it was an experience that you've grown from, so you can at least take away something from it.

  • @chaoticimpulse
    @chaoticimpulse 8 років тому +9

    You know if your "x-boyfriend" was any kind of boyfriend, I would think he would half the amount for you after he got payed to make it fair. And since it really upset you. I would be pretty upset too.

  • @deamberjaggers5614
    @deamberjaggers5614 8 років тому +12

    closet tour!! closet tour!!!! Who's with me?!

  • @strangeAngel305
    @strangeAngel305 8 років тому +1

    hello Alb!!
    I was once a manager for a store. my boss was extremely demanding and very disgustingly rude. When I became pregnant he asked me to come back after my delivery 2weeks to be precise. But I found out he wanted to underpay me once I came back for a full time manager position instead of my regular part time. This man treated me awful when I was pregnant, way more than the usual crappy treatment he would give to everyone. I think he resented me for my pregnancy so I said goodbye and thankfully got a better job which was very close to home. I hear that his store is going under since I left. karma is glorious. ❤❤❤

  • @elidude8689
    @elidude8689 8 років тому +2

    Jeez, I can't believe you held back all this for 4 years! It's good to see you can look back on this as a learning experience. Everybody gets tensed up when dealing with people they know or have worked for for a long time. I know I would've caved in the end. What people need to know, is that you can be aggressive when talking about work or arguing about pay. Sounds like your boss could've easily split the difference according to the job description. Since you did more work it's right that you are payed more. My first job waiting tables was something like this. It was always pretty busy since it was a chain restaurant so the first month being there I had to juggle waiting, busing, hosting, and training. Paychecks in new jobs in the U.S are usually delayed the first week of working because they restaurant has to get my paper work in order. That paper work took the rest of the month to send in. They were unorganized as hell. My manager kept saying she was going to get on it but never did. After the second month of this I quit in the calmest way when I should've been furious. I eventually got the money for like half of it all but not for what I did when busing and hosting. Waiter's pay is shit and even with the tips it's still minimal. Arguing over what you worked for is only logical and if you back down nothing will be resolved.

  • @selizabethcameron
    @selizabethcameron 8 років тому +12

    what the effing fuck. i hate everything. that ex was a dongle..

  • @marisanewland9509
    @marisanewland9509 8 років тому +4

    Dude, I feel the same way! I have a coworker that gets paid 50 cents more than me, and while thats not a lot, it still pisses me off considering I have worked there a year longer, had experience before my current job while he had none, AND have been in that specific position longer. And people still tell me that the pay gap doesn't exist. By the end of the year he makes almost $1,000 dollars more in the same exact job as me.

  • @MissMaddie014
    @MissMaddie014 8 років тому +2

    Totally unfair!! I really feel for you and am sorry you had to go through an unjust situation. It's hard letting go of what we would have done differently, but think about how it has shaped you to be the strong lady you are today! You are great :)

  • @stefaniarivers7414
    @stefaniarivers7414 8 років тому +5

    You should've asked "why do you want ME to get paid less?!" What the hell?! They are both idiots. Thats all in the past. And you have something they don't and that's Girl Power.

  • @kirstenspate
    @kirstenspate 8 років тому +4

    Oh my god, that it ridiculous, I can't handle listing to this situation. I feel for you girl - damn.

  • @theonetruechelsoir
    @theonetruechelsoir 8 років тому +3

    I got a freelance design opportunity through one of my instructors. Turns out two of my classmates had been given the same opportunity, and each of us was to submit a proposed design and the client got their pick of the litter. When I said I didn't want to put out work before making a formal arrangement with the client, both the client and my instructor treated me like it was super outrageous that I wanted to be paid for my work. It's really hard to be treated like your time isn't valuable. Standing up for yourself doesn't feel great, but if we all stopped accepting being treated that way, clients and bosses would stop being able to take advantage of us.

    • @moxiousch
      @moxiousch 8 років тому +2

      +valomile Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. The teacher is actively fostering a harmful environment to artists. A fucking applause to you for standing up for yourself!

  • @rayvenner3340
    @rayvenner3340 8 років тому +12

    What the absolute heck! How did they not understand all of this wth goes on in some peoples minds!
    There are so many times where I wish I would have stood up for myself and for others, especially in middleschool and highschool, specifically with bullying. I guess it's the only way you can learn to do it when it really counts, sometimes it bothers me that I'll make that mistake again but I want to stay determined not too.

    • @rayvenner3340
      @rayvenner3340 8 років тому +1

      +Kate Rose Someone replied to me saying this wasn't about gender bias but I literally never said anything about that and I'm pretty sure she didn't either >.>

  • @nightingaleasmr8750
    @nightingaleasmr8750 8 років тому +3

    So, I'm 27 now, and this was a job I went into when I was about... 19. Somewhere in there.
    I worked garde manger (salad line/dessert plating) in a very, very high-end restaurant. Like. We did everything by hand, we didn't use anything at all pre-packaged - I spent about six hours of my shift a day just doing intensive prep work, not even counting the actual dining hours I worked during.
    I was paid... 8.50 an hour, and I'm pretty sure minimum was 7.50 at the time.
    Now, I'm not trying to discount the role of dishwashers in restaurant kitchens. I absolutely would never.
    But I was working with making the actual food. I very literally helped open this restaurant, and I stayed on for about two and a half years (our turnover rate was typically something like four of five months, on average).
    By the time I finished at that job, I was making 9.25 an hour... and they were hiring on dishwashers at 9.20. Not only that, but I found out that every other person on all of the food lines were making at least a dollar more an hour than me - up to and including high school students who had no cooking experience at all.
    I fail to see it as a coincidence that I was the only (at the time) female-IDing person in that kitchen.
    edit: I forgot to tack on how I reacted, when I found this out: bringing this up to anyone in charge, even as a very calm, 'Hey, did something just get lost in the shuffle here?" kind of conversation was met with complete dismissal.
    You know. Oh, don't read too much into it, it's not a reflection on you or your work', and so on.
    I left the job two months later, because I honestly couldn't deal with knowing that fact, and having my concerns completely dismissed.
    Hilariously, I was asked to leave my salad dressing recipes as a 'gesture of good faith' (which I refused to).
    A month and a half after I left, I got a very contrite phone call from my former manager asking if there was anything he could do to 'tempt me back', monetarily.
    I'd moved cities entirely, so I told him that if he was willing to pay me at least on par with my experience level, PLUS pay my travel expenses every day (I'd moved about two hours away), then he should have been willing to pay me correctly when he had the chance.

  • @kaleksykt
    @kaleksykt 8 років тому +2

    omg oh no i feel u ugh this is so ridiculous that they just tried to make u feel like its about taking smth good from your boyfriend like their angle of perspective is so distorted they can't even see how from the objective pov its so messed up just so UGH

  • @Eden_42069
    @Eden_42069 8 років тому +2

    Alb, I feel you. I had a summer job a few years ago as a hostess, and I didn't realize until near the end of the summer that they were paying me a server's wage, which was around a dollar less than what I should have been getting. So I was getting paid a measly server's wage and a 1% tip out each night. I questioned my boss about it and he never got back to me. I still regret not making a bigger fuss about it. Also the summer before that, I served at a restaurant that didn't let me keep tips AT ALL. So obvs since then I've tried to avoid the hospitality scene haha.

  • @AncloteLeviathan
    @AncloteLeviathan 8 років тому

    Thanks for sharing this story! I can relate on so many levels. I love your work & interview stories!

  • @TheGracewindu
    @TheGracewindu 8 років тому +2

    I was a manager at a restaurant for a while. It was a lot of work and I felt like I was always thinking about it! A couple months in I was told that a worker (owners kid) was getting paid about 3 dollars more an hour than me. I tried to address it and kept getting pushed off to the side. I ended up leaving the job. I felt so crazy! I kept getting the "bossy" or "demanding" remarks made towards me even though I felt like it was a fair argument. If I am managing your restaurant please pay me the same if not a little more than your kid who is just a server.

  • @HelloThereIAmAlice
    @HelloThereIAmAlice 8 років тому +1

    You're so so right ALB this video is important, thanks for making it!

  • @genesismuse
    @genesismuse 8 років тому +2

    This is definitely a case of the supervisor screwing up by not taking into account how much you would be paid (by the GRANT, which he HAD THE NUMBERS FOR, CLEARLY) before setting your assistant's wages. He screwed up, you called him out, and in his discomfort over messing up he tried to turn it back on you which is incredibly unprofessional of him. I also don't know how I would feel if I got my boyfriend a job working for me and he ended up with better wages. I'd be baffled as hell.