Never Say This To Your Ex!
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- Опубліковано 31 гру 2024
- Here's Clay Andrews take on Things That You Should Never Say This To Your Ex.
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After a breakup, some people tend to say over-dramatic lines, hoping that their ex will chase them or re-think the breakup, but you know what? It doesn't work. It might make things worse!
In this video, Clay Andrews lists down 5 different things that you should never say to your ex, followed by a detailed explanation of each item.
**** IMPORTANT ****
This is an internet video, and it should be obvious, but this video and other videos on this channel should not be taken as a substitute for the evaluation of a psychologist, therapist, counselor, etc. This video and other videos on this channel are intended for informational uses only, and only reflect the personal opinions of the creator. The creator of this video is not responsible for your actions or choices or the consequences of your actions or choices.
Thanks for watching this video. I hope you have a great day, and remember that you deserve to be loved for who you are.
After 10 years of marriage we broke up its been a year since went into no contact now she texts me here and there, she says she still cares about me and shares things happening in her life ,I really don't think I want her back every time I think I've moved on or she has she stars texting,weird
My ex broke up with me 24 days ago . We were together for 11 months now she is dating another guy bt still she calls me to check how I'm doing .. we used to have strong bond be it mentally emotionally physically bt things went wrong ..
@clay andrews Is saying “goodbye” after being dumped painting yourself into a corner?
I've said loads of these to my ex, 3 months on and we are making progress - in riding the dragon phase and talking on the phone every few week. He's still hold back about his emotions around the breakup but we've discussed his anxiety to the point where he has felt comfortable crying down the phone to me about other stuff. One day at a time, and if you're anxious about talking to them then be honest about it with them - they are human after all and it shows your vulnerability to them!
Clay is right. I followed others’ advice like getting back together or nothing at all approach. It really backfired. Now i adopted being friends approach like Clay and already ex is broke up with rebound and started to flirt with me. I think this is way better than no contact until they say substantial. This doesnt work. It worked for the first time but after a few more fights and separation they no longer worked.
Hey, sounds like an echo breakup to me. Usually an echo breakup happens because the changes that was brought after getting back together is just within the superficial level.
Thank you Clay for posting these videos on a frequent basis, started watching you years ago and i'm glad you're still around, i always look up to your advice. Stay safe out there!
My pleasure! :-)
Ugh I committed the "do you still love me?" fuggggggggg. I hate that we has humans go to the damage control mode...
Ha. Tell them you loved them then cut them out of your life. Be their life lesson.
We broke up years ago and even the normal talk between us took a loong time after that. last year he started contacting me regularly again, apologized for the first time and said that he wants to be good friends with me and that he does not want to have disputes with me again. he rejected me many times when i did the mistakes in this video, which i also did too early of course but stopped in the last two years. it was really difficult to accept being friends dince i still have strong emotions for him but even being friends with him seemed better than having no contact to him so about four months later we still talk occassionally but i have no idea where i am at since i cannot talk to him about my feelings again.
She wanted to ‘be friends’, I thought “you don’t get to be in my life for free”, wished her well and blocked her. Now wondering whether I shouldn’t have burnt that bridge
it is best to gauge where she is at emotionally right now. It is understandable that when we felt hurt and emotional, we can do or say things that may not be well thought of.
Clay Andrews Thanks Clay. I’m in no contact and not spoken since it happened a few weeks ago. The most difficult thing is how she’s been with much worse guys for longer (controlling, used her for sex, etc). Whereas I treated her great and she has the cheek to end it with me :/
I’ve already done all this hope it’s not to late to reverse
@williamdolan7189 , I understand that some of us may have done something that might have certain impact in our chances. Of course, every day is a new day for us to make better choices and actions. As long as you are showing consistent/authentic change, eventually your ex will notice that. Sending more positive energies on your end.
Thank you... I like your insights ..I think you really know what you're saying
Ive said just about all of these to my ex. Is there any way to reverse that or take it back. Can I even get her back or anything at this point 😔
Wish this came out sooner 😅 did #1 awhile ago
It's never too late to make better choices and positive actions. :-)
Hey Clay, it's John. So as you know I am in a position of giving her space but I told her in a I am there for you context, "I am not going anywhere" & "I am always her to call, vent, listen, etc.". I am not forcing any relationship but I also don't want her to think I am gonna run in the tough times. Ya know? THOUGHTS?
Thanks again.
Could someone please tell me where clay covers the Fork in the Road strategy in good detail? I can’t find it.
Thanks again Clay
You are very much welcome. :-)
THANK U SO MUCH, It helped
Never tell your x the truth , have a therapist tell her
We are long distance relationship, last month my bf broke up with me, he wanna be friends after that we had few small chat, then sometimes he misunderstood my words and get angry or emotion and he thought let’s no contact till he comes to my country again. Cuz he told me we are only cry and sad or I miss you, he doesn’t wanna it. So I told him those five things( like I wanna you back, do u love me?) he got angry and said it’s over!! Then we were no talking three weeks now.. I’m so heartbroken I wanna him back ，what should I do now? I miss him so much..
I'm sorry to hear about what happened. Sounds like your ex's wall of reactance goes up whenever the topic leans towards the relationship. Focus on connection until he feels comfortable and start to trust you over again.
I said one of these to my ex a couple months ago basically saying i cant be friends with him if he doesnt want anything more than that with me. I feel like i messed up and now he most likely wont reach out :( anything i can do?
Samee i wish i know what to do
Same thing ! Idk what to do after
Oh damn. I've done every one of these.
I'm sorry to hear about that. But it's never too late to redeem yourself.:-)
Clay Andrews how??
lol me too
She broke up with and told me she wants to be my friend i was so tired and i asked for a space i Million time and she didn’t give me that she kept texting me all day and night I wasn’t ready for break up i was in pain and she suffocate me and i give her an ultimatum unless everything can be the same or leave me it was the only way i can be alone and take my time she got so mad at me and kept posting mean things about me in Twitter but we still in each other life i didn’t delete her neither she did i still love her did i do the right thing clay pleassse ?
she’s not respecting you and ur boundaries and the fact that she LITERALLY DUMPED you. go no contact for as long as u can until you heal and make her miss u and regret dumping u
hey clay, how do you go from being close friends to actually being in a relationship?
Hey Per, there are no exact ways on how to do that but it has to grow organically. And that has to grow through building a strong connection.
What do you mean "you're not really in the friendzone"?? 😂
What if he asks me do you still love me? Or have you missed me?
Will you be comfortable in answering his questions with all honesty?
@@ClayAndrews yes but I thought we were supposed to play it cool at first and not supposed to let them know we want them back so quickly - I know this man and he will ask - so do I say "I used to?"
hey..he said his feelings for her are stronger then it ever was with me..at any point of our relationship..please help..can it be stronger for me later..?
How do you build up the emotional foundation?
Hey there, we talk about that in our Effortless Connection program. You may check this link >> www.modernlove.life/ef
Aren't you that guy from Problem Child?
That's not me. :-)
Lmaoooo Gilbert Gottfried.
He reminds me of the guy on the twilight zone series. 👍
Meet Virginia You mean Rod Serling? He reminded me of the same man too😁
I seriously made these mistakes. My ex n I broke up in 2018 bt he kept contacting every now n then to ask about how I was doing. This year, I finally asked him if he loved me but he said he wants to be friends so I went in no contact again, the breakup had been too long for me. Was I wrong?
It depends, if you still feel that there's pain from the breakup that you may need to heal, it's okay to take some time for your self.
Hi Clay, if they're in Wall of reactance, is it bad to reach out after a month and send something helpful or to them to make them happy and not expect/ask for a reply? I think it would show selflessness which would be a contrast to me being selfish during our relationship
I reached out to my ex gf after 34 days of NC. Simply called her talked about how is she, about family work, how’s things going we talked for about 2 hours over call after month. Dont Just pretend to be over nice or faking things be the man she knows exactly who you real are!
Is saying “goodbye” after being dumped painting yourself into a corner?
I did all of this 🤦♂️ that was my chance after 3 months since we broke up. I approached to her first after 3 months of no contact. We talked for a week & she's comfortable with me. Then i opened up about our relationship and that was a mistake. A big mistake. It was too soon. I lost my chance to make her emotionally attached to me organically and I think I scared her off & she doesn't wanna talk to me. That happened 3 weeks ago. What should I do? I need an advice. Thanks!
Can you make a video about what if you put yourself in a bad spot with you're ex because you said many people do this... i think my ex was at riding the dragon and one day we were connecting really well but another day it was just one word replies and i said if there was somthing going on holding her back or if she just was not in the mood for texting and she said yeah im not in the mood and then i said do you even want to text with me because sometimes i its not fun texting when you send short replies and she said you can text but i dont need it... and i said well if you dont want to i will not text you if that is what you want and i wish her well and told her if she needs me and wants to text she can always text me my door is always open so i dont now if that is good or bad!? I have a double feeling because 1) im really proud of myself i tried for 5 months getting her back and i feel really good i tried 2) im a bit stressed i give up to soon or pin myself against a wall because now i said that i will respect her wish of not texting so i cant just go and ask how work was... but now its like there is a big load off my shoulders like ok its over and now what do i do with my life and i am planning things with my life but before my ex just consumed my thoughts so i am like a already told happy but also confused. So if you could make a video about that topic it would be great so i have a second opinion and then i can look on it and make a decision
You did your best, so no guilt pal. It's a hard pill to swallow but you have given them a free ride. Not saying you should make it a transactional relationship, but it is clear subconsciously to them that they have to do nothing to have you there. So you gotta go be you, have your own life and passions etc. Go find yourself. That is all you can do for now. If you want to check back in with them at some point you can, just give it a lot of time, grow yourself and find joy in life without them in it first. Eventually if/when you speak to them again you'll come across more interesting, you can say what you've been doing and not just ask her if she's ok etc...
i believe my ex is in a rebound relationship. she contacts me through her sisters phone. but wont answer text on her phone
Was there any solid evidence that your ex is in a relationship or something that we just presume?
no solid evidence. i jus find it strange that she wont contact me from her phone consistently.
hulk smash how does that mean she’s in a rebound relationship just cuz shes talking to you from her sister’s phone? Lmao i dont get the logic 😂
why does she get mad when i ask how her day was or wyd or anything
Sounds like she doesn't have that full emotional capability yet to connect.
NOW he tells me!!!! ;-)
OMG I did all.of these oops
She wanted to be friends I said no she got mad ..I said my piece she tryed to mind f me .so i said fairwell .to her ...her lost . Move on people always look forward to the next chapter in your life.
7/23.2020. OK, she is being a pain. Yesterday she texts me, how are you? Hows the new job? Etc. I told her I have to go and get ready for work, that was the truth. Maybe we can talk later. This morning, my day off I get a text, sorry I didnt call last night, got behind? Whoa, whoa, whoa, when I said later I didn't mean later last night.
Today I texted, its ok about last night, I didnt get home until 7:30. We will talk. One her way home she calls me. Phone is on vibrate in the other room didnt hear it. I texted AGAIN, sorry, didnt hear it. I figured its over, we will talk in a few days. Two mins later she texts, cooking dinner, will call at 7:30. She, for some reason is really pushy, havent talked in a month and suddenly we HAVE to talk NOW, so to speak.
I do hope she is ok, I mean I hate what she did but if she is in medical trouble, well Im not a total a-hole, though debateable to some.
UPDATE: Since its fresh on my mind. So she actually called, talked for 40 mins about this, that, and the other thing. My mood to be honest was why are we doing this? No results seem to come from it.
Her mood/situation was she wanted to here my voice. While it lasted 40 mins it was very choppy, more on her side. It was like the first time you talked when you are getting to know someone. Lastly, she says I gotta get going, work tomorrow. Fair enough. The thing that stands out was....When she said good night, and this has happened to you and others, there was that 5 second pause where it seems like she wanted to say something but didn't. So, in short I have, as usual, no clue what she wanted or what was to be gained or lost.
unless you have children together, dont say anything to your ex, there is probbaly a good reason why they are your ex , just move on. if you do have kids do everything in your power to get along, you will be seeing each other at events for a very long time
That's a narrow minded view on things bro
@@Gamerguy4830 not narrow minded by definition, its just what some people need to hear, if you can and want to get back with your ex good luck, hope it works out
Hey clay, I want some advice, Me and my ex broke up a week ago but he keep messaging me back and fort that he said I should’ve left him and last night he told me he doesnt love me anymore and he hated me the blocked me.
Hi Joanna, it sounds like your ex is emotionally confused on where to have you in his life. Give him some time to sort his emotions out.
Clay Andrews Okay thank you, It’s weird because he blocked me now he unblocked me again.
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