One Skill That Gets Your Ex's Respect

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  • @h3arty
    @h3arty 3 роки тому +57

    Omg, I'm obsessed with how much content you're putting out! And it's such HIGH QUALITY content!! So exciting :)))

  • @marcalamara5525
    @marcalamara5525 3 роки тому +57

    I Love that your advice is from a place of self improvement and advanced emotional skills rather than power struggle and power play. Your advice defo would lead to a long term happy relationship with an ex than 99% of the nonsense out there

    • @ClayAndrews
      @ClayAndrews  3 роки тому +2

      Hi Marc, thanks for the positive feedback and we truly appreciate that. Thank you for checking out videos as well. :-)

  • @jennyhaytch
    @jennyhaytch 2 роки тому +12

    Thank you for this. My trouble is that they aren't ready to be in a relationship with someone who is vulnerable, transparent, and willing to say it like it is, and so as patient, honest, open and transparent as I am, I am wasting my time. Thanks for helping me, Clay.

  • @anothercat9600
    @anothercat9600 Рік тому +5

    "I can't meet you this weekend because Sunday evening I'm going to quiz night" is a type of mindgame which needs to be addressed.
    It calls for a chase if the other person is anxious, the anxious person will chase. "But you didn't mention Friday evening? What are you doing then?" "Oh, but how about Saturday lunch then? You didn't mention that time?"
    Instead I was more secure and called my ex out. "Could you be specific about Friday Saturday? I'd appreciate it. I asked about the whole weekend, not just Sunday evening."
    And IMMEDIATELY he found two days when he could meet me. Thank you, Clay for this advice, calling them out politely. It helped.

  • @bak6194
    @bak6194 2 роки тому +4

    Seriously one of the best dating coaches ever I totally appreciate you and your authentic genuine non-manipulative stance

  • @caoskin
    @caoskin 3 роки тому +12

    If you’re being dumped by your ex and months after they are conversing with you, it is important to be confident with yourself but it doesn’t mean you need to say what is in your mind. It will just give your ex an impression that you are giving your hopes up high and being emotionally clingy.

  • @anjoocampo890
    @anjoocampo890 2 роки тому +3

    Thankyou for this Vedio. Very unique Than others advice. Watching from Philippines

  • @yougotgroove
    @yougotgroove 2 роки тому +5

    I was gaslighted, disrespected and criticised so much, I was starting to agree with her to just avoid the abuse! I walked away last night, had a good cry today and now this pressure is now lessenned.

  • @jumpedintheriverwhatdidise5499
    @jumpedintheriverwhatdidise5499 10 місяців тому +1

    Games and power plays are a waste of time people. This is good advice. I will add something though. I recently have went through this approach when my now ex cross some major boundaries and was ignored. This led to months of arguments and pleading and trying to be logical and anything I could think of to make her see how many it was effecting me. One thing I have learnt is this. You cannot control who respects you or your boundaries. You can only control if you respect yourself and respect your own boundaries. So always respect yourself, always. And if you express a boundary, then respect it and walk away if it is not respected, no mattter how painful it may be. You cannot control anothers behaviour, only your own.

  • @stopmotionerstudios483
    @stopmotionerstudios483 3 роки тому +12

    I like how you always come out with a video that suits my current situation 😂 thank you for the advice!!

  • @libertybell9594
    @libertybell9594 3 роки тому +11

    Being transparent in a normal relationship builds respect, but this does not work when you are involved with a narcissist. The narc will use your vulnerabilities against you. They will do whatever bothers you even more! If you find being transparent isn't working and you are left feeling hurt, leave the relationship. Narcissists never change. They love drama and chaos. Nothing ever gets resolved with them. Hope this helps someone. Blessings.

    • @ClayAndrews
      @ClayAndrews  3 роки тому +2

      Narcissism is considered a mental health concern. The question is, is it something that is aligned on one's personal values and is it something that they can accept with the person?

    • @libertybell9594
      @libertybell9594 3 роки тому +3

      @@ClayAndrews Thank you for your response. It's very difficult to form a relationship with someone who lacks empathy. They will hurt you over and over again and enjoy every minute of it. It's called "Narcissistic fuel". They have no capacity to love and everything is fake. They have a pattern to secure and abuse their victims- Love bomb, Devalue, Discard, Hoover and repeat. Recognize the red flags. When you know you go. God bless. ❤️ 🙏🏻

  • @chilloften
    @chilloften 3 роки тому +10

    Such good info. Clay is so expressive & impressing.

  • @SB-td3ov
    @SB-td3ov 3 роки тому +25

    My ex monkey branched and I had no idea, I was heart broken. I never cried and begged. I reached out after a couple months to let him know I enjoyed our time together and wish him well and that I hope we are on good terms, when he handled the breakup like a coward. I thought I responded in a very mature way just to put things back in a good place for the both of us. Yep, no response, and it’s been two more months. I’m worth more than that. Absolutely no closure and I tried to extend the olive branch. I’m done.

    • @lestatvamp8865
      @lestatvamp8865 3 роки тому +2

      Really hate to hear that.. I know that pain

    • @Shortroundfilmz
      @Shortroundfilmz 3 роки тому +9

      Monkey branching is cowardly as hell

    • @noble78b
      @noble78b 3 роки тому +5

      Go no contact, focus on you and don't look back. Gets better from here.

    • @solanjedere
      @solanjedere 3 роки тому +4

      He is pathetic. U did it right. Don't worry, keep living your life. Cowards always come back, one of my ex did the same 20 days before marriage. After 4 years he came back trying to gain me back. He was a monster during the break up and I told him I was happy he changed but I would never take him back. Lol.

    • @boytino2646
      @boytino2646 3 роки тому +1

      Same to me im a guy,,,,my girl monkey branch too bad,on time i was hoping to repair our issue i found out about,,,that's cheating right?

  • @lisaofthelodge
    @lisaofthelodge 3 роки тому +8

    Fantastic content Clay, looking super dapper too 👌

  • @carynjen136
    @carynjen136 3 роки тому +4

    @Clay Andrews I told my ex goodbye and we should go our separate ways, because i don't want him to end up hating talking to me with the current conversation dynamic that we have. I can foresee that it will lead to us breaking up again. He didnt say we should continue trying but only said that i can still look for him if i want to. I havent spoken to him since and its been about 3 weeks. I guess it would be NC for 3 weeks already. Do i attempt to reach out or wait for him? if i should first, what can i say without sounding awkward?

  • @rickyellis8505
    @rickyellis8505 Рік тому +1

    I've got to be the most vulnerable transparent person you'll ever come across, I'm not afraid to cry infrony or my ex, so what? We all are on this earth to love and live and crying is a part of that also, how else are you meant to let someone know you care about them by being transparent and telling them exactly how you feel?

  • @solanjedere
    @solanjedere 3 роки тому +6

    Dear Clay, I do love your content but my ex was disrespecting me and I went no contact, guess? He came back with his feet on the ground. Now I don't know if I want to come back because I think that someone who disrespect u once will do it again in the next opportunity.

    • @ClayAndrews
      @ClayAndrews  3 роки тому +3

      Hi Solange, have you tried doing the 5x5 list exercise, it may help you assess the person that you are trying to get back with.

    • @solanjedere
      @solanjedere 3 роки тому

      @@ClayAndrews not really, I'll check on it. But I don't want to come back anymore, he does. I'm considering the pros and cons though. Thanks!

  • @claudinemontreuil747
    @claudinemontreuil747 4 місяці тому

    I am a new subscriber, really like ur content 🥰🙏

  • @dariasmith1623
    @dariasmith1623 3 роки тому +1

    I’ve taken info from you and others and I’ve dating him again working our way back to living together

  • @architachaudhury340
    @architachaudhury340 Рік тому

    Thank you so much. I called out my ex in one of the situations where in I felt disrespectful. He turned it to me. And i thought to give my ex space this time to ponder on his behaviour. Since i reached out to him, doesn't mean I have to behave inferior. I can and I must question his abrupt behaviour. Can't i?

  • @robaby1984
    @robaby1984 3 роки тому +38

    How can you gain their respect through empathy when they are being disrespectful?

    • @solanjedere
      @solanjedere 3 роки тому +13

      Just go NO CONTACT. Clay is against this idea but it is the only thing that really works in this situation. I'm telling u by experience.

    • @robaby1984
      @robaby1984 3 роки тому

      @@solanjedere it's too far gone, we are finalizing the divorce, I'm trying to make sure she's respectful in front of the kids. She wants out and is bitter

    • @erxfav3197
      @erxfav3197 3 роки тому

      @@robaby1984 might be more tricky in marriage..

    • @guilhermenunes3044
      @guilhermenunes3044 3 роки тому +1

      It's okay to step back a bit, at least so you are not target of anger or offenses. When someone is mad at me, I wait until the person calms down. It's not their fault, it's difficult to control emotions. I'm glad you are able to control yours, specially in front of the kids.

    • @josephrusinek8729
      @josephrusinek8729 3 роки тому

      Start researching Red Pill immediately! Changed my life.

  • @blueishmary
    @blueishmary 3 роки тому +4

    This is timely! Great vid Clay!

  • @caoskin
    @caoskin 3 роки тому +14

    A skill that your ex will respect = honesty.

  • @draco2040
    @draco2040 3 роки тому +1

    For anyone that has children with their ex. Wat happens at visitation stays at viaitation. Dont dwell on it and dont expect it evwry time. If they flirt then juat be yourself and dont get to excites or hold onto it. Just breath relax and comunicate

  • @TheRoman1
    @TheRoman1 3 роки тому +1

    Do you have a deal on buying all of your content? I’m concerned about the $200 A pop spoon feeding

  • @nikm2089
    @nikm2089 Місяць тому

    They’re an ex and deserve zero respect for abandoning you. I prefer the cold shoulder

  • @bell3231
    @bell3231 2 роки тому

    Hi clay what about if that is how I did the Past years of our relationship. 6yrs. I always tryed to express whatever I was feeling therefore now when I do it the answer back is u always done this always heated what ur issue or needs are! How do I deal with it than ?👀👀 thank u

  • @Peanutstrawberry_Official
    @Peanutstrawberry_Official 3 роки тому +3

    My ex reach out when i do no contact method, but I don't know what to do. I end up just distancing myself because i am afraid of repeating the same mistakes. And he finally be together with his rebound and i never heard from him anymore. I don't know what to do when he reached out. 😑

    • @FlamePizza3292
      @FlamePizza3292 3 роки тому +2

      Idk if u should take advice from me lol but i think its good that ur afraid of making the same mistakes u can use that fear to not make those mistakes again and if ur not ready to be in a relationship then dont.

    • @Peanutstrawberry_Official
      @Peanutstrawberry_Official 3 роки тому

      @@FlamePizza3292 I don't know if I should flirt with him or i just keep myself away from me when he reach out. I just pretend that i am ok with the breakup.

  • @therealyou5824
    @therealyou5824 3 роки тому +18

    Thank you, Clay! I've just reached out again with my ex. I'm feeling so confident!!

    • @therealyou5824
      @therealyou5824 3 роки тому +3

      This is advice my ex absolutely needs to hear, and what I needed to hear too. In our chat last night it was getting heated until I allowed myself to be vulnerable, and then it just opened up like a beautiful fragrant flower 😊🌺

    • @mayasuliman2825
      @mayasuliman2825 3 роки тому

      Can you give me more info on your breakup? :)

    • @Shortroundfilmz
      @Shortroundfilmz 3 роки тому

      If only you could teach me ex that

    • @maybugz
      @maybugz 3 роки тому

      How did things work out since??

    • @therealyou5824
      @therealyou5824 3 роки тому

      @@maybugz Hey Jeremy - yeah... badly. We were having really good, strong conversations. Then out of nowhere he started acting really mean again, and ended up cruelly telling me he's dating someone and that he needs to block me. We haven't talked since... I'm actually really glad it's over now. This week it'll be one whole year, and now I'm removed from it I realise how toxic and unhealthy it was for me. I still cry from time to time and miss him though, holding a bit of a fantasy... but it'll fade...

  • @shin-ishikiri-no
    @shin-ishikiri-no 3 роки тому +5

    I subscribed for 2 reasons. Good advice and I like your face. No homo.

  • @spider-keithasmr38
    @spider-keithasmr38 3 роки тому +4

    Great advice bro but someone as big as you should have quality audio...

  • @jakejimenez7973
    @jakejimenez7973 Рік тому

    My ex She finally started to talking to me again after 4 months idk why she would one min she’ll start talking about missing me to treating me like a friend doesn’t seem really interested literally she just decided to stop replying to me it’s been almost a week being ghosted is prop worse than the break up now I gotta heal all over again. for sure thinking about leaving her on read she gotta show me more respect

  • @eustaceforbes537
    @eustaceforbes537 2 роки тому

    Hey i hav done the greatest shit.....another woman made a child for. Its been about 8 months she is running hot and cold. Im becoming less involved with her by that I mean attached emotionally. What should i do at this point. She spent 3 weeks at my place no sex but i understand how she feels am i on the right track to jus leave her be.

  • @richardsullivan2749
    @richardsullivan2749 8 місяців тому

    Do you have a share in a broken shards of glass company 😂 love your videos very informative

  • @mayasuliman2825
    @mayasuliman2825 3 роки тому +64

    With all due respect Clay, when a person leaves you, it’s a big disrespect to you and being more vulnerable and transparent just makes us seem desperate and gives them even more power. I understand how this kind of transparency and vulnerability works in a relationship but being vulnerable to an ex looks like we can’t live without them when indeed we can. I think they will respect us when they see we can be happy without them and we don’t NEED them but we do WANT them..

    • @robaby1984
      @robaby1984 3 роки тому +8

      Cool vulnerability is what he's talking about more but yes if you are man and being vulnerable to a woman she will probably be turned off because women want masculine men

    • @lisat5666
      @lisat5666 3 роки тому +11

      I don’t need him for any reason, I need him because I love him

    • @airbubble.
      @airbubble. 3 роки тому +15

      @@robaby1984 Not true. Vulnerability is extremely attractive in a man. Being in touch with your emotions is a strength, not a weakness.

    • @robaby1984
      @robaby1984 3 роки тому +14

      @@airbubble. yeah keep convincing yourself of that, that's why women go after Chad and Tyrone who pump and dump them and the nice vulnerable guy finishes last

    • @airbubble.
      @airbubble. 3 роки тому +22

      @@robaby1984 Not in my experience. BTW, I am female. We love guys who aren't afraid to tell us how they feel etc. All that masculine bollocks is a complete turn-off to the vast majority of us. We're not into long-term with men THAT superficial and immature. They're alright for a casual fling but not life-partner material.
      We want someone who is going to be an equal to us. Supportive when we need them, and caring. Someone we can rely on but is not afraid to let us take the lead in the relationship sometimes too. Someone who we can share a laugh with, go places and do things with. Someone who is proud of our successes, not jealous and resentful. And most importantly, someone who we know is going to be loyal and true to us.

  • @bennyblanco6704
    @bennyblanco6704 3 роки тому

    My ex says she's pregnant she looks like she is has all the symptoms but hasn't took a test when I ask her too she says she knows her body why do I need a test we sleep together every week a few days a week what do I do to assure myself she is

  • @cristiancortes9
    @cristiancortes9 Рік тому +2

    You have to stand your ground...be willing to actually lose her for good...its the only way she is gonna respect you

  • @soxvapor85
    @soxvapor85 Рік тому

    Can you make one video without saying “broken shards of glass lol”

  • @nephtalijimenez3005
    @nephtalijimenez3005 2 роки тому

    All I think he’s saying is that it takes two to make a relationship. He disagrees that the dumper needs to crawl back. Instead purely focus on the emotional connection to meet halfway. Easier said than done but yeah 😃.

  • @reginawoess4928
    @reginawoess4928 3 роки тому

    He had ask me first visit why I got intimate with him I was afraid to tell him I still was in love with him

  • @DJVibeDubstep
    @DJVibeDubstep 3 роки тому +4

    Not sure what it is but I like your energy in this video. It’s more authoritative than usual, more “manly” and “alpha” or a “whatever” vibe; and your voice seems deeper.
    No offense, love your content and I listen regardless but some previous videos you appear too “nice guy” and I say this with nothing but respect and love because how you are here in this video suits you more in my opinion. Just my opinion! But wanted to share it because it looks good on you man.
    Also, great content as always. Loving the frequent uploads. Even though I’m over my ex, when I was watching these videos when I was working through the pain I fell in love with the psychology because of how much it helped me; now I watch purely because it interests me and maybe I can help others in the future too.

    • @Asswipe44
      @Asswipe44 3 роки тому +1

      clay with that bde breaking my speakers😆

  • @amberg4131
    @amberg4131 2 роки тому

    I have a ? My ex and I been thru alot of changes in life and we don't live together but we hang out constantly. I'd say it's more a fwb but the benefits part isn't often like 1 every other month. Anyway it's been on and off 9years with me cheating when he was serving time vs him cheating atleast 2times I'm aware of so the relationship is strained. Emotionally I'm detached halfway. I still want to hang on but part of me wants to let it go.bc I know he doesn't respect me or value me or my opinions. We can't have conversations about certain things otherwise I'd get the you don't understand quote or I can't talk to you about these things. So I don't know technically if we are still together. I know I haven't been with anyone since and his last cheat was 2years ago that I'm aware of. Then lastnight while he was drinking [I've been 6m sober] he said a joke about women can't parallel park and brought up the last time he was in a vehicle with a woman...which I don't own a car. So I asked who that was. And his response was I'd get all crazy if I heard her name. I was a bit taken back by it but I responded I think I know her name. I can't forget it then kind of let it go. I slept at his place and went home today early reflecting on it. I wanted to leave when he made that comment but it was 1am and I don't have a car. But I think it's part of him not having any respect for me another just knowing I'm the person he can rely on and he hates it. I also have known he's had alterior motives for hanging around me. I try to not justify it as being coincidences but too many.

  • @reginawoess4928
    @reginawoess4928 3 роки тому +2

    What does it mean if ex ask you to come over and second night you go over a woman hes dating that he didnt tell you about calls and he laughs and tells me shes trying to keep us from getting intimate which we had done visit before?

  • @rdvgrd6
    @rdvgrd6 3 роки тому +2

    What’s up with the terrible audio lately?

  • @Calida2308
    @Calida2308 3 роки тому

    I guess I lost the respect xD my crush had a crush on me as well, but wasn't allowed to date as he is a commander. N now months later he is avoiding me at job... If someone is emotionally fine, he wouldn't need to avoid me, right? N me stupid.. Send him my written letter about my emotions torwards him over fb.. As I couldn't meet him at job.
    😐 I guess just leaving him alone can make it now better ha.. But maybe he will think about my written words.. Who knows mh

    • @Calida2308
      @Calida2308 3 роки тому

      @Favour Jane don't spam

  • @lionel1907
    @lionel1907 Рік тому

    I say Bravo to Clay and his team. We hear so many “coaching” on UA-cam about showing dominance, or pretending that we don’t care bla bla…it’s all mind games and that cannot work because it is not authentic.
    Clay really shows that being vulnerable and authentic works because the other person of course knows when there is an act.
    Many people confuse vulnerability with showing weakness. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Being vulnerable means telling the truth about our sentiments. It doesn’t mean crying, collapsing, being clingy. To be truthful is a show of strength. And at the same time we need to work on ourselves, learn to be independent and happy alone. It’s a work on ourselves and it is visible to the other person. Bravo Clay for the courage to talk about vulnerability in this toxic atmosphere of gaining the upper hand ✋

  • @DanielTekmyster
    @DanielTekmyster 3 роки тому +2

    Clay, please fix your audio, all your videos are overmodulated and sounds terrible.

  • @jglhendricks
    @jglhendricks 3 роки тому +1

    👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

  • @divyashirley
    @divyashirley 3 роки тому +2

    R u considering even narasists in this category. It will be the biggest mistake.

    • @travis6694
      @travis6694 3 роки тому

      Yup. My ex is a narcissistic manipulative woman to always have the upper hand. Any conversation she turned it on me. She got a new matching tattoo with her new boyfriend after dating him for a couple weeks. Shows you her true colors.

  • @Mafuz1999
    @Mafuz1999 3 роки тому +2

    I'm first

    • @therealyou5824
      @therealyou5824 3 роки тому

      Wow, you're so cool... Lol

    • @azizurrahman3265
      @azizurrahman3265 3 роки тому

      Egula deikhen na bro ..just move on 😅

    • @Mafuz1999
      @Mafuz1999 3 роки тому

      @@therealyou5824 lol ik its nothing much to flex over

  • @juancompian9666
    @juancompian9666 2 роки тому

    This is horrible advice. Please do not follow this advice. Although it would be nice if it actually worked this way. But the unfortunate reality is this type of behavior pushes women away further. It’s female nature. And the sad thing is that they don’t even realize what they’re doing or why they’re doing it. They say they want a nice guy and communication is key but when you finally give it to them get turned off. I am not a professional but I have learned this through many experiences

    • @paulinebunce972
      @paulinebunce972 Рік тому

      I know of a man| who heIped me bring my ex back he can also heIp you just as he did mine, he does a perfect work I'm assuring you, you gonna testify

    • @paulinebunce972
      @paulinebunce972 Рік тому

      Wh'atsap him

    • @markai2002
      @markai2002 Рік тому

      You're not a relationship expert for a reason lol

  • @nullsec3900
    @nullsec3900 3 роки тому +1

    Hacking lol

  • @theSaint-1964
    @theSaint-1964 3 роки тому +1

    Power struggle to try and get your ex back is a dead if she’s. Gemini lol