Bed rotting AFTER getting things done for the day is great. Bed rotting before you complete your tasks is a recipe for disaster. I’ve been coming out of a recent depression, and simply getting myself out of bed first thing sets the tone for the rest of my day.
i bedrotted away a couple years of my life and in my experience it was 100% an avoidance behavior. i simply did not have the skills to self soothe/regulate/process difficult emotions. i can't get those years back, but often you just have to fall to learn how to get up
wait this whole time i was under the impression that my generation knew and understood bed-rotting to be a self-destructive behavior considering that "rotting" is literally in the name. the fact that some view this as a form of self-care is not only new to me but kinda insane
As a Gen Z that started therapy at 12/13, I left TikTok a looong time ago due to this kind of behavior. I understand that for some people, 'bed-rotting' is their main coping strategy, but as someone who has gone through therapy in my formative years and understands why social media is misleading at best (and downright evil at worse), 'bed-rotting' is not coping, let alone helping. It is arguably an escapist strategy that shows there is a larger problem happening. I think that if more Gen-z were offline more and actually willing to take these conversations offline, they would receive the help and connection that would move them out of the bed-rot. I spent soooo sooo much time fighting bed-rot (I still do), but I am now in a point in life where I can see how bed-rot is actually a villain to me feeling soothed or genuinely seen and supported. Staying isolated, in bed, with no outward expression of emotions is a spiral downwards. The fact that some Gen z are also using it to watch social media only makes it worse in my mind, because this fuels another layer of disconnect from the outside world and genuine friendships and support systems. Thank you for making this video Ana. ❤
It’s probably still bad but my family allows bed-rotting to an extent, as long as you aren’t on your phone and actually get some alone time or some resting.
The new "self care" really = self indulgence, which is, very rarely helpful. Real self care = taking care of yourself; doing things that are objectively beneficial to you (eating healthy, exercising, socializing, cleaning your house, paying your bills, meditating, etc)
I knew I was depressed the whole time I did this and now people are calling it self-care?? Bro I lost entire years of my life to self-care I'd do anything to stop self-care from happening to me again
As someone who took a mental health day today, and often partook in rotting during the height of my depression, bed rotting is the last thing my mental health needs. I’m going to school full time and work full time, getting the responsibilities done or having a day just for hobbies is great, wasting an entire 12 hours being comatose feels like such a waste of the avg 60 years I have left to live. Young adults who readily throw away those days 1-2 times a week is insane. That’s so much time they’ll never get back
@@abstractmonke296 same! Right after the Great Recession, when I realized the whole world I was promised wasn’t gonna be happening haha. Graduated college in fall of 2008 🫡
I gotta be honest, I found myself feeling a bit defensive with this video, and shocker, I’ve been dealing with a bout of depression caused by the beginning of a stressful job while also doing a calculus course that I find really tough. So I’ve spent several days in the last months or so just laying in bed most of the day. When I was younger and feeling the same, I would spend nearly every Saturday this way. And I mean…I personally see nothing wrong with having a more ‘lazy’ day once a week. But when I’m healthy, those days consist of me reading in bed for a bit, then maybe cooking a nice meal, taking a short walk, having a long shower and then retiring early to watch a movie and draw. When I can’t even get out of bed to shower or make a decent meal for myself, I know that’s a sign that I’m not doing well. So this video was a reminder that I do in fact, need to pursue help at the moment.
! TW: violent death by ableist neglect ! i hate this term, because it reminds me of a story of Lacey Fletcher who was left to literally rot alive for years on the couch by her ableist self-absorbed parents. and they justified it by her just "being lazy".
And exactly that example should tell you that there is a reason why people lay in bed/couch and get like that. We don't do anything without a biological reason because we are biological animals. So if someone "bed rots", then no, they're not being lazy and there is ALWAYS a biological reason why their body and mind "choose" to do that. And it's probably not a choice either but a logical consequence of their biology and environment interacting with each other. This video is just toxic productivity.
Its definitely not. It's just more visible and is a meme because of the internet. Previously people would just attribute it to depression, burnout, exhaustion, anxiety, etc.
I love the idea of a douvet day much better than a bed rotting day! Especially because it likely would have involved magazines and books, TV maybe, but certainly not a smartphone.
Depends on your personality type and commitments. Im a bit older than Gen Z, with ADHD, an intense job and prone to getting on the more manic side, a habit of overcommitting and burning out, and struggling to relax long enough to even get through a movie. Usually out of guilt or feeling like my to do list is never-ending. I think if I could manage to do this for one day it would honestly do me the world of good!
I've been bed rotting for a few months now, watching this video as well as reading the comments has been really helpful for me. I use it as a kind of escapism and run away from my own emotions, thoughts and responsibilities. This started occurring more and more after I started college. I did well academically, however everything has been so overwhelming. I have a hard time making friends; I have a habit of only seeing the worst in people. So, to run away from my emotions of loneliness I'd just go to my phone and lay in bed all day. I usually don't even do my chores (I do laundry like once every 2-3 weeks it is pretty disgusting sorry anyone who reads). That's my story I guess. I'll try to stop my habit of bed rotting from now on. Thank you Ana and the community for the helpful video and comments. And to anyone who's reading this and going through a hard time, you're not alone. Please care for yourself and look after yourself, not by bed rotting but by doing your responsibilities.
For me I haven't started college yet and have been stuck in a loop of bed rotting and getting out of bed to try to be productive for about three months since I broke up with my ex partner, I understand completely how one just tries to avoid the emotions you're having by looking at your phone watching something that hopefully doesn't remind you of your pain. Getting up has always been the best act of self love for me personally because it makes me feel efficient and builds my confidence and belief that I am enough and I do my best, thank you for sharing, you're not alone either and we can definitely overcome this unhealthy coping mechanism, hang in there I believe in you❤
@@anotherenclosedlivingbeing1989 I went through a similar phase after my breakup. Part of what made my life in college so hard was because I was fresh out of a breakup and the said relationship had a lot of codependency issues. But I'm doing much better now. I get what you're going through, it will be hard. However, I'm sure you'll do better slowly with the self-care you're doing :)
As someone with Clinical Depression, mental health days are imperative to my overall productivity. When I didn't take mental health days, I would get burnt out easily.
I disagree with you, but I appreciate this take and will definitely agree that when it comes to depression it can be very unhealthy considering that it leans into the vicious cycle. I too did that after my last job and it lead to so much anxiety and depressive like symptoms. However, now that I am so busy with school I don't necessarily just sleep on those days because of the amount of work I need to do. So I typically sleep in Sunday, read something fun, dance, and make myself yummy meals while continuously going back to bed throughout the day to watch something or to nap.
I think a lot of it has to do with gen z being the first generation to come of age knowing that the future is one of decline and probable doom. My nieces are gen z and they feel no purpose and see no point in striving for anything. I’m in my 40s and I totally get it, I grew up believing the world I was inheriting from my parents was gonna be better and more prosperous, but once I hit my 30s it was increasingly obvious that the material conditions of the vast majority of people in the world would only be getting worse and more difficult to navigate. No matter how hard we work we will never truly get ahead. Unless you were fortunate enough to be born into wealth or a comfortable middle class family, you will have to try harder to just stay afloat. Maybe this IS just depression, I definitely have struggled with it, but I think this is a humanity-wide problem. It’s hard to envision a future worth working for, people have never been more individualized/isolated and it’s hard to feel like we hold any power to change the systems we exist within let alone our own lives. I’m gonna be that guy: it’s capitalism. Not sure who originally said it, but it’s easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.
I think you hit the nail on the head. I’ve been trying to put words to this feeling I have but you described it perfectly. It’s also I feel so fatigued with all the standards, be productive, be beautiful, be a leader, be extroverted, be different, be cool, be thinner. Just everything feels overwhelming to the point where it’s like I feel I’m always not measuring up in some way.
@@Kate-vd3hlI personally love laying in bed after a long day, way more than sitting on the couch or anything watching tv. There’s something so comforting about laying in bed for me
Out of curiosity, do you have a hard time actually sleeping? as in falling asleep and staying asleep? I've read some anecdotal stuff that your body can learn to associate your bed with things other than sleeping and it can make it hard to fall asleep.
Mhh ... I was born in 85. There is no TV in my bedroom and I do sports - at least thrice a week and I try to read a book every month. Furthermore, I still enjoy playing my guitar. Well, I don't have many friends but the ones I have, I cherish. So, I often spend my time alone and I'm totally fine with it. The only thing that I'm really guilty of, is celebrating my siesta. Apart from that, I still try to get up at 8 am and I always try to go to bed before midnight. To be honest, I lost my job this year. My dear mama has passed and I was not able to go on working - 9 to 5. However, my days are structured and I'm about to get back on my feet.
I can’t help but wonder how much of this is chronic fatigue from long covid. Especially because some people are getting covid multiple times a year, they never get the chance to fully recover.
Oh stop it. Long Covid is called laziness. The only two people I know who have had ‘long covid’ are obese, underperforming at work and lazy in their personal lives too
It's related to Covid but not in the ways you might think. We all are more isolated in our 'cells' slash apartments since we have had a reduction in our 'third spaces.' And we are more screen dependent. As a sensitive person, I notice I have inflammation and eye problems from being around LED and other high-brighness screens. Night time headlights in people's cars are also brighter than they've ever been. These higher performance lights put a lot of stress on our nervous systems.
@@FireflowerDancer I definitely agree that Covid had HUGE social knock-on effects. I graduated with my undergrad degree in 2013 and I became really close friends with my classmates because we were always bumping into each other in the anthropology department. I met my best friend who’s like a brother to me now back then. I can’t imagine how my life would have turned out if I hadn’t had that experience :/ That being said, I think post-covid fatigue is more common than you think. I’m glad you haven’t had to deal with it though. Stay safe & stay well 😷
As someone who is recovering from chronic fatigue rn, I can say that chronic fatigue and long covid ARE a direct consequence of how our society is chronically overworked, unstable and hasnt learned how to actually be in tune with your body, your needs and your emotions.
I don’t spend time in bed, but I do schedule Sundays as my mental and physical rest day, and I think it’s very helpful for me. It gives my mind and body time to decompress, meditate, etc. When used properly I think the technique can be useful.
Speaking from personal experience, I think that calling bed rotting a poor coping mechanism or a symptom of depression would be better than calling it self care. I can rot in bed for an entire day or even an entire week and I will usually feel a lot worse than if I had gotten up and done pretty much anything else.
I have the habit of bed rotting since... a little child. My mother has it as well. I think it can be beneficial if it is for a specific amount of time every week. When i bed rotted for days on end, not only did i feel depressed, but looking back at it, my life had no meaning. It's a tricky situation
I agree with everything you are saying but what about looking at the root cause? gen Z and millennials have it rough compared to the previous generations. Most of us can’t afford a home, to raise children, to live a good quality of life without being in debt. Even if they are married. The economy and inflation has never been worse. It’s not easy and the youth are working so so hard for so little reward so it’s no surprise they are burnt out and seek comfort in their beds. Also I think the TikTokers are just making funny relatable content to go viral. There’s comfort in laughing at our insecurity. I don’t believe anyone genuinely sees constant bed rotting as a good thing.
I see from multiple sides how odd being online and having these terms can be- to "rot" in bed sounds like accepting death. Though on another side it feels like a counter-culture to hustle culture, or the feeling like you constantly have to be doing something at all times inevitably leading to burn-out, perfectionism, and a feeling of never being good enough, hence low self esteem and high self shaming. I don't think just rotting till death or working till you die are good cuz they're both extremes. Instead keep moving, but focus on one thing at a time. Don't multi-task, and give yourself time to breathe and reflect between tasks like 5-20 minutes. Do energetic activities that aren't a task but a pass time you can enjoy, mental or outright physical. Though then again, this is the internet. With around 8 billion individuals making decisions there's gonna be different in action and intentions. So do what you will with your time, though at the very least reflect on the time you spend and if its what you want to actually be doing with you time both short term and long term.
7:29 This is the advice that worked for me. I had bad insomnia and couldn't fall asleep for hours. I did lots of changes, stopped hanging out in social media for hours, strictly no phone scrolling in bed at all and other things, helped me! I have no problem falling asleep now. Going strong 5+ years with no electronics in bed and using bed for sleep only.
I don't think people taking mental health days are bedrotting for fun on those days, but I also think they're taking those mental health days for the same reason they are the least productive: because they're chronically, to varying degrees, not doing well. At least that was the case for me. So mental health days didn't help me rise back to health afterwards because I actually needed deeper help than that, but they helped me recover enough to become a mediocre employee again before the cycle continued.
Damn, I didn’t even know this was the term for it. I used to “bed rot” a lot in my early 20’s but looking back it wasn’t healthy. It was because I was genuinely not happy in that period of my life. Fast forward, I’m now married and a parent and now “bed rotting” is not even a thing anymore. My mental health has greatly improved. I will say I have been guilty of couch rotting all day when my child was away and it did not make me feel great. By the end of it, I felt like the life got sucked out of me and I did not feel rejuvenated at all! Only in certain situations is bed rotting healthy but to use it as pure leisure? Not good.
I know for a fact that bed rotting doesn’t make me feel better. Personal story: in early 2021 I lost two of my family members within 2 weeks and having things to do was very helpful. Yes, everything about the situation sucked, but if there were no preparations for funerals, no paperwork, no relatives around to cook food for etc I would’ve lost my mind. As you’ve said in the video - it was something to occupy my brain with instead of spiralling into my misery
As a professional rotter this shit sucks. Its a boring way to live but it is easy as hell. But i only rot cause of habit and I feel depressed or have some kind of negative feeling or something cause I dont wanna deal with it. Ive been doing it since i was a kid. Rotting is called that cause you're dying. It rots not only your body but your soul. I gotta fuckin kick myself out of the house and bike everymorning so I can actually live and face my life. I rot cause i cant ever disappoint myself if i dont set any expectations on myself. So i do the easiest things and turn to my bad habits. (UA-cam, gaming, unhealthy food. But mostly youtube. UA-cam fuck you you addictive piece of shit) Its good to chill. But its not good to rot. If you wanna chill make sure you arent doing stuff thats detrimental to your body/mind or try to limit it. A little bit of UA-cam or junk food isnt the worst (tho be aware of the trap of this shit. Social media and junk foods designed to be addictive so moderating can be very hard. Especially if you're in the state of mind where you just wanna chill/rot, you have a lot less willpower when tired) But anyways just chill in healthy ways like going outside or maybe instead of UA-cam watch a movie or read a book. Idfk Im just mad at myself and went on a rant. Ill leave this up tho it could be od value to other people. Sorry for the poor grammar, English is my first language.
There are probably healthier ways to take a break, than staying in bed all day (unless you're sick or really physically, not mentally exhausted). Going for a walk would be on top of my list.
This is a new thing? Already invented, ain’t nobody got chores and my bed is essentially my bed and my couch. What are you supposed to do outside everyday that’s so important, people don’t call you first and you could probably stay silent for a month without them saying anything, where do you get the motivation from to convince yourself people outside the house are worth the effort
I think the stresses of our world have really caught up to our generation in particular, I genuinly believe if in the fall and winter part of the year school was centered around being outdoors, more people (me included) would get out of bed more. We need a change to our education to change the way we think.
I have to take your three basic guidelines and add a few due to my autism and ADHD diagnoses. I've found what I know to be "bad brain days" where either autism or ADHD sap some of my energy when I've not been tending to their needs. For me, I only "bed rot" during a meltdown, where I've found lying down helps. Even then, it's only until it passes. After it passes, I find getting up and listening to or writing music helps.
And Gen Y. No amount of sleep is fixing the exhaustion. I've had COVID at least once, likely twice, and I wonder if this is the mark it left on me. I am just so tired and weary.
Even if "bed rotting" isn't being done by a depressed person it is mimicking the actions of a person with severe depression. I don't understand why anybody would mimic the behaviour of someone who is mentally ill and failing to cope.
i think it might be because that's what they want to hear. if you grew up with people telling you to work to a seemingly unrealistic extreme that you're fed up with, and one day you're told that it's okay to do nothing, you're likely to take it too far. you're changing one extreme end for another. or, at least, that's what I've seen.
I think there is a healthy cycle of exertion, rest and recovery and if you get stuck in one of those phases then your health will suffer. In addition to the proportion of rest to exertion being important, I think some types of rest are much more healthy and restorative than others. laying in bed consuming short form content for hours is a lot less healthy than taking a long walk and reading book when you get home.
Apparently putting an avatar that is a hyperextension of a glamorised by social media perfect image of a "average person" is extremely exhausting for most people. Well that's that.
I'll definitely consider whether I need a day to bed rot. Before, during and after my mum was dying from cancer I never took a day off. It's been two years now since she passed and I still haven't taken a proper break. I think I need time to grieve instead of pushing myself day in day out.
I mean,..even the term being used is a negative. Wanting to "rot" isn't a good thing at all and I do believe it is more of a cover up for underlying issues.
I used to watch true crime everyday and eventually I had to stop. Controversial topic but I would LOVE to hear your video response to my topic recommendation!
If you can keep it to once a week and generally meet your responsibilities and keep your life on track even with the bed rotting, I honestly don't see what the problem is. Then again, I don't subscribe to the idea that "if you CAN be productive, then you MUST be productive".
I always feel so burnt out, and after work I definitely couch rot... I've been trying to get out of it. Sometimes it works but then I burn myself out in other ways. It's a hard balance
Bed rotting is only ever helpful if you are so stressed out that you are getting physical stress symptoms. Spending a day in bed and calling it productive can be good in that way. But only laying in bed is never good for your mind and body. Everyone needs to consider their own health and their own life. Saying something is only bad or only good does not help anyone because we are all so different.
bedrotting is self care for me. I have severe ADHD, and also experienced pretty notable neglect as a kid, which I have compensated for that by always doing things, never sitting down, and chronically burning myself out because I never knew how to notice my body’s needs for rest or how my brain worked. An advisor in my social work undergrad literally told me to do nothing one time, and said to not worry about my paper deadlines which she spoke to my instructors about, and that was the first time I really was able to do nothing until I was able to resume my tasks with confidence. I still struggle to prioritize slowing down but the idea of just “rotting” for a bit has been a light hearted and helpful thing for me. If I don’t rot, I will have rotten food in the fridge, overflowing dishes, missed deadlines, etc.
If you can keep it to once a week and generally meet your responsibilities and keep your life on track even with the bed rotting, I honestly don't see what the problem is. Then again, I don't subscribe to the idea that "if you CAN be productive, then you MUST be productive".
This video is especially interesting as I have missed a lot of work days in my life due to my depression and anxiety. Particularly I’m prone to fits of tearfulness and have humiliated myself previously if go into work on one of those days because the smallest thing can push me to start sobbing. I used to feel very guilty about doing anything BUT bed rotting on my mental health days since I thought if I was taking a sick day I needed to be laid up in bed. It’s definitely validating to hear that it’s more helpful to gently put yourself back into your routines as I often do. I find that if I try to have a semi-normal day at home I’m more equipped to take the next day head on and go back into my daily life.
I know that this isn’t what the people on TikTok are talking about, but I just want to make the point that the idea of staying in bed isn’t nice or fun or at all appealing to me because of times in my life I have been bedridden due to ME/CFS.
Going for a walk is the most important part of my day. It helps to set up the rest of my day into wakefulness(with a nudge of pistachio tea with a bit of honey, absolutely recommend). There is more to ensuring that one doesn't sleep throughout the day. However preserving walking 8kms(a single loop of my local lake across) a day has become one of the most important things in my life.
My biggest issue with bedrotting right now is that I work a 9pm to 6 am job, and on my weekends I tend to try to keep that going. But this means I'm always up at whatever in the morning, in my apartment and not wanting to do anything to make sounds that could bother my neighbors. On top of that, since Covid most overnight places I used to go to just to get out of the house (mostly stores) are closed during my waking hours. Add to that most parks close at sundown and I have a nasty reaction to alcohol, I can't really go to parks or bars. Not to mention the money needed to spend time at any restaurant/bar that I just don't have. I at least try to draw or write occasionally on bedrotting days, but I really don't have much I can do outside or unrelated to a screen.
I think this is a video I had to see this month. I realised I power through on my outside responsibilities (education, work, social stuff) but after that period my only strategy is to nothing in bed while watching videos non-stop (which is not even restful). Last Saturday and Sunday I took my first rest days after 17 days and I did nothing and felt bad, assuming that's just the natural state of things, eventhough the past summer has been my most restful summer in a long time, where I was constantly doing things.This is what I needed to hear. Maybe rest is in maintaining that balance in between the underdoing and overdoing switch between.
Your description for the channel says you have a manager to handle emails or advice, how does that even work, how does somebody apply to be a UA-cam secretary manager? I have no idea how that conversation would get started to begin with, that’s a pretty niche job
i need to have a rotting day cause if i dont i quite literally get extremely physically exausted. i work as much as i have to. 40 hour work week, gym 3 times a week but i need to bedrot at least a few hours a day and on sunday
Bed rotting days are bad. Self care days where you actually take care of yourself and do restorative activities are good. Sitting in bed all day isn’t a restorative.
Not sure if im convinced that 'bed rotting' is any less healthy than the previous generations coping of being workaholic or just generally pushing yourself to burn out. I think if you have nothing particularly pressing & you feel you need a day, then take a day. Then get back on it the next day. Just don't forget to do the other work you need to in life to help yourself, break it down if you need to. And for people who are burning out or breaking down. Absolutely take a day to self sooth & switch off. Apart from that I think it's easy to not consider what it's like to grow up in a world where they are always switched on. Finally, maybe rotting wouldn't be such an issue if access to therapy & support was easier to obtain.
i have to take naps thruout the day cuz i get tired every few hours or so, but my sleep gets fucked cuz of that, wtf do i do? slowly poison myself by masking it with caffeine?
Ive said this years ago and Ill say it again. Society's awareness of mental health isnt necessarily a good thing. People know a few psych 101 things, glamorize their "neurodivergent" status, and self-indulge.
Seems like a coin flip. Could be okay, could be not okay. Could be avoidance for some; or it really could be an effective way of recharging. Observing with critical eyes is smart though.
I am bed rotting when depressed and don’t have the energy to do anything. I don’t get how it could be seen as a good thing when it is the symptom of my depression. I tried to get up and sadly it doesn’t heal my depression.
I feel like bed rotting is being glamorized. It’s not a fun time to be unable to get out of bed to the point of having bedsores. It’s called bed ROTTING for a reason. If you can help it, I wouldn’t recommend spending a whole day in bed.
Elder gen z here born in 99 but bed rotting to horror movies or shows recharges me for work or the tasks i need to do daily. Hey atleast i showered and brushed my teeth today…dishes might be piled up tho 😂
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oh you're kidding me, promoting AI stuff?
Bed rotting AFTER getting things done for the day is great. Bed rotting before you complete your tasks is a recipe for disaster. I’ve been coming out of a recent depression, and simply getting myself out of bed first thing sets the tone for the rest of my day.
i think it's called. resting
@@duskadown6751did silicon valley reinvent the bus again?
i bedrotted away a couple years of my life and in my experience it was 100% an avoidance behavior. i simply did not have the skills to self soothe/regulate/process difficult emotions. i can't get those years back, but often you just have to fall to learn how to get up
wait this whole time i was under the impression that my generation knew and understood bed-rotting to be a self-destructive behavior considering that "rotting" is literally in the name. the fact that some view this as a form of self-care is not only new to me but kinda insane
Yeah really.
No less insane then changing your sex on any given sunday.
Toxic positivity in a nutshell.
Litteraly, self care is litteraly just justifiying toxicity now
I think it's the minority who thinks it's healthty
As a Gen Z that started therapy at 12/13, I left TikTok a looong time ago due to this kind of behavior. I understand that for some people, 'bed-rotting' is their main coping strategy, but as someone who has gone through therapy in my formative years and understands why social media is misleading at best (and downright evil at worse), 'bed-rotting' is not coping, let alone helping. It is arguably an escapist strategy that shows there is a larger problem happening. I think that if more Gen-z were offline more and actually willing to take these conversations offline, they would receive the help and connection that would move them out of the bed-rot. I spent soooo sooo much time fighting bed-rot (I still do), but I am now in a point in life where I can see how bed-rot is actually a villain to me feeling soothed or genuinely seen and supported. Staying isolated, in bed, with no outward expression of emotions is a spiral downwards. The fact that some Gen z are also using it to watch social media only makes it worse in my mind, because this fuels another layer of disconnect from the outside world and genuine friendships and support systems.
Thank you for making this video Ana. ❤
It’s probably still bad but my family allows bed-rotting to an extent, as long as you aren’t on your phone and actually get some alone time or some resting.
The new "self care" really = self indulgence, which is, very rarely helpful.
Real self care = taking care of yourself; doing things that are objectively beneficial to you (eating healthy, exercising, socializing, cleaning your house, paying your bills, meditating, etc)
I knew I was depressed the whole time I did this and now people are calling it self-care?? Bro I lost entire years of my life to self-care I'd do anything to stop self-care from happening to me again
I thought we all agreed it’s a depressive behavior
As someone who took a mental health day today, and often partook in rotting during the height of my depression, bed rotting is the last thing my mental health needs.
I’m going to school full time and work full time, getting the responsibilities done or having a day just for hobbies is great, wasting an entire 12 hours being comatose feels like such a waste of the avg 60 years I have left to live. Young adults who readily throw away those days 1-2 times a week is insane. That’s so much time they’ll never get back
I’m an elder millennial, been bed rotting since becoming an adult lol
I'm a younger millennial and same, I've been doing this since like 2009
@@abstractmonke296 same! Right after the Great Recession, when I realized the whole world I was promised wasn’t gonna be happening haha. Graduated college in fall of 2008 🫡
Same
I prefer the old fashioned way of avoidance by keeping insanely busy and burning out later
Haha, i know this all too well.
I gotta be honest, I found myself feeling a bit defensive with this video, and shocker, I’ve been dealing with a bout of depression caused by the beginning of a stressful job while also doing a calculus course that I find really tough. So I’ve spent several days in the last months or so just laying in bed most of the day. When I was younger and feeling the same, I would spend nearly every Saturday this way. And I mean…I personally see nothing wrong with having a more ‘lazy’ day once a week. But when I’m healthy, those days consist of me reading in bed for a bit, then maybe cooking a nice meal, taking a short walk, having a long shower and then retiring early to watch a movie and draw. When I can’t even get out of bed to shower or make a decent meal for myself, I know that’s a sign that I’m not doing well. So this video was a reminder that I do in fact, need to pursue help at the moment.
! TW: violent death by ableist neglect !
i hate this term, because it reminds me of a story of Lacey Fletcher who was left to literally rot alive for years on the couch by her ableist self-absorbed parents. and they justified it by her just "being lazy".
And exactly that example should tell you that there is a reason why people lay in bed/couch and get like that. We don't do anything without a biological reason because we are biological animals. So if someone "bed rots", then no, they're not being lazy and there is ALWAYS a biological reason why their body and mind "choose" to do that. And it's probably not a choice either but a logical consequence of their biology and environment interacting with each other. This video is just toxic productivity.
Many raised themselves and I think this is part of them navigating that
This hit the nail on the head for me
Or in my case and others, were the first gen raised by the internet 😂
True.
Surely this is not generational, everyone I knew took duvet days in the 90's when everything was getting a bit much.
Its definitely not. It's just more visible and is a meme because of the internet. Previously people would just attribute it to depression, burnout, exhaustion, anxiety, etc.
I love the idea of a douvet day much better than a bed rotting day! Especially because it likely would have involved magazines and books, TV maybe, but certainly not a smartphone.
Depends on your personality type and commitments. Im a bit older than Gen Z, with ADHD, an intense job and prone to getting on the more manic side, a habit of overcommitting and burning out, and struggling to relax long enough to even get through a movie. Usually out of guilt or feeling like my to do list is never-ending. I think if I could manage to do this for one day it would honestly do me the world of good!
It's not a challenge, it's a symptom
I've been bed rotting for a few months now, watching this video as well as reading the comments has been really helpful for me. I use it as a kind of escapism and run away from my own emotions, thoughts and responsibilities. This started occurring more and more after I started college. I did well academically, however everything has been so overwhelming. I have a hard time making friends; I have a habit of only seeing the worst in people. So, to run away from my emotions of loneliness I'd just go to my phone and lay in bed all day. I usually don't even do my chores (I do laundry like once every 2-3 weeks it is pretty disgusting sorry anyone who reads). That's my story I guess. I'll try to stop my habit of bed rotting from now on. Thank you Ana and the community for the helpful video and comments. And to anyone who's reading this and going through a hard time, you're not alone. Please care for yourself and look after yourself, not by bed rotting but by doing your responsibilities.
thank you
For me I haven't started college yet and have been stuck in a loop of bed rotting and getting out of bed to try to be productive for about three months since I broke up with my ex partner, I understand completely how one just tries to avoid the emotions you're having by looking at your phone watching something that hopefully doesn't remind you of your pain. Getting up has always been the best act of self love for me personally because it makes me feel efficient and builds my confidence and belief that I am enough and I do my best, thank you for sharing, you're not alone either and we can definitely overcome this unhealthy coping mechanism, hang in there I believe in you❤
@@anotherenclosedlivingbeing1989 I went through a similar phase after my breakup. Part of what made my life in college so hard was because I was fresh out of a breakup and the said relationship had a lot of codependency issues. But I'm doing much better now. I get what you're going through, it will be hard. However, I'm sure you'll do better slowly with the self-care you're doing :)
As someone with Clinical Depression, mental health days are imperative to my overall productivity. When I didn't take mental health days, I would get burnt out easily.
I disagree with you, but I appreciate this take and will definitely agree that when it comes to depression it can be very unhealthy considering that it leans into the vicious cycle. I too did that after my last job and it lead to so much anxiety and depressive like symptoms. However, now that I am so busy with school I don't necessarily just sleep on those days because of the amount of work I need to do. So I typically sleep in Sunday, read something fun, dance, and make myself yummy meals while continuously going back to bed throughout the day to watch something or to nap.
I think a lot of it has to do with gen z being the first generation to come of age knowing that the future is one of decline and probable doom. My nieces are gen z and they feel no purpose and see no point in striving for anything. I’m in my 40s and I totally get it, I grew up believing the world I was inheriting from my parents was gonna be better and more prosperous, but once I hit my 30s it was increasingly obvious that the material conditions of the vast majority of people in the world would only be getting worse and more difficult to navigate. No matter how hard we work we will never truly get ahead. Unless you were fortunate enough to be born into wealth or a comfortable middle class family, you will have to try harder to just stay afloat. Maybe this IS just depression, I definitely have struggled with it, but I think this is a humanity-wide problem. It’s hard to envision a future worth working for, people have never been more individualized/isolated and it’s hard to feel like we hold any power to change the systems we exist within let alone our own lives. I’m gonna be that guy: it’s capitalism. Not sure who originally said it, but it’s easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.
I think you hit the nail on the head. I’ve been trying to put words to this feeling I have but you described it perfectly. It’s also I feel so fatigued with all the standards, be productive, be beautiful, be a leader, be extroverted, be different, be cool, be thinner. Just everything feels overwhelming to the point where it’s like I feel I’m always not measuring up in some way.
bedrotting is so comforting 😔 i wish i could learn better ways to cope
Does it really make you feel good? Or is it an easy distraction?
@@Kate-vd3hlI personally love laying in bed after a long day, way more than sitting on the couch or anything watching tv. There’s something so comforting about laying in bed for me
@@Kate-vd3hl makes me feel good! i do everything on my bed honestly. i study, i watch shows, play games all on my bed
Out of curiosity, do you have a hard time actually sleeping? as in falling asleep and staying asleep? I've read some anecdotal stuff that your body can learn to associate your bed with things other than sleeping and it can make it hard to fall asleep.
@@miro138 not anymore!!! i meditate before sleeping and it has helped my insomnia so much
Mhh ... I was born in 85. There is no TV in my bedroom and I do sports - at least thrice a week and I try to read a book every month. Furthermore, I still enjoy playing my guitar. Well, I don't have many friends but the ones I have, I cherish. So, I often spend my time alone and I'm totally fine with it. The only thing that I'm really guilty of, is celebrating my siesta. Apart from that, I still try to get up at 8 am and I always try to go to bed before midnight. To be honest, I lost my job this year. My dear mama has passed and I was not able to go on working - 9 to 5. However, my days are structured and I'm about to get back on my feet.
Keep your head up you absolute warrior
I was doing this before it became mainstream
I can’t help but wonder how much of this is chronic fatigue from long covid. Especially because some people are getting covid multiple times a year, they never get the chance to fully recover.
Oh stop it. Long Covid is called laziness. The only two people I know who have had ‘long covid’ are obese, underperforming at work and lazy in their personal lives too
That's such a good point!!!
It's related to Covid but not in the ways you might think. We all are more isolated in our 'cells' slash apartments since we have had a reduction in our 'third spaces.' And we are more screen dependent. As a sensitive person, I notice I have inflammation and eye problems from being around LED and other high-brighness screens. Night time headlights in people's cars are also brighter than they've ever been. These higher performance lights put a lot of stress on our nervous systems.
@@FireflowerDancer I definitely agree that Covid had HUGE social knock-on effects. I graduated with my undergrad degree in 2013 and I became really close friends with my classmates because we were always bumping into each other in the anthropology department. I met my best friend who’s like a brother to me now back then. I can’t imagine how my life would have turned out if I hadn’t had that experience :/
That being said, I think post-covid fatigue is more common than you think. I’m glad you haven’t had to deal with it though. Stay safe & stay well 😷
As someone who is recovering from chronic fatigue rn, I can say that chronic fatigue and long covid ARE a direct consequence of how our society is chronically overworked, unstable and hasnt learned how to actually be in tune with your body, your needs and your emotions.
I don’t spend time in bed, but I do schedule Sundays as my mental and physical rest day, and I think it’s very helpful for me. It gives my mind and body time to decompress, meditate, etc. When used properly I think the technique can be useful.
Speaking from personal experience, I think that calling bed rotting a poor coping mechanism or a symptom of depression would be better than calling it self care.
I can rot in bed for an entire day or even an entire week and I will usually feel a lot worse than if I had gotten up and done pretty much anything else.
I have the habit of bed rotting since... a little child. My mother has it as well. I think it can be beneficial if it is for a specific amount of time every week. When i bed rotted for days on end, not only did i feel depressed, but looking back at it, my life had no meaning. It's a tricky situation
I do this pretty much every hour that isn't school. It's a bad habit that I need to crack.
I agree with everything you are saying but what about looking at the root cause? gen Z and millennials have it rough compared to the previous generations. Most of us can’t afford a home, to raise children, to live a good quality of life without being in debt. Even if they are married. The economy and inflation has never been worse. It’s not easy and the youth are working so so hard for so little reward so it’s no surprise they are burnt out and seek comfort in their beds. Also I think the TikTokers are just making funny relatable content to go viral. There’s comfort in laughing at our insecurity. I don’t believe anyone genuinely sees constant bed rotting as a good thing.
❤❤❤
Yeah bed rotting is a symptom of the system we are in
I see from multiple sides how odd being online and having these terms can be- to "rot" in bed sounds like accepting death.
Though on another side it feels like a counter-culture to hustle culture, or the feeling like you constantly have to be doing something at all times inevitably leading to burn-out, perfectionism, and a feeling of never being good enough, hence low self esteem and high self shaming.
I don't think just rotting till death or working till you die are good cuz they're both extremes.
Instead keep moving, but focus on one thing at a time. Don't multi-task, and give yourself time to breathe and reflect between tasks like 5-20 minutes. Do energetic activities that aren't a task but a pass time you can enjoy, mental or outright physical.
Though then again, this is the internet. With around 8 billion individuals making decisions there's gonna be different in action and intentions. So do what you will with your time, though at the very least reflect on the time you spend and if its what you want to actually be doing with you time both short term and long term.
7:29 This is the advice that worked for me. I had bad insomnia and couldn't fall asleep for hours. I did lots of changes, stopped hanging out in social media for hours, strictly no phone scrolling in bed at all and other things, helped me! I have no problem falling asleep now. Going strong 5+ years with no electronics in bed and using bed for sleep only.
I don't think people taking mental health days are bedrotting for fun on those days, but I also think they're taking those mental health days for the same reason they are the least productive: because they're chronically, to varying degrees, not doing well. At least that was the case for me. So mental health days didn't help me rise back to health afterwards because I actually needed deeper help than that, but they helped me recover enough to become a mediocre employee again before the cycle continued.
Damn, I didn’t even know this was the term for it. I used to “bed rot” a lot in my early 20’s but looking back it wasn’t healthy. It was because I was genuinely not happy in that period of my life. Fast forward, I’m now married and a parent and now “bed rotting” is not even a thing anymore. My mental health has greatly improved. I will say I have been guilty of couch rotting all day when my child was away and it did not make me feel great. By the end of it, I felt like the life got sucked out of me and I did not feel rejuvenated at all! Only in certain situations is bed rotting healthy but to use it as pure leisure? Not good.
i can't believe no one on youtube is talking about magnetic aura from Talesio
I know for a fact that bed rotting doesn’t make me feel better. Personal story: in early 2021 I lost two of my family members within 2 weeks and having things to do was very helpful. Yes, everything about the situation sucked, but if there were no preparations for funerals, no paperwork, no relatives around to cook food for etc I would’ve lost my mind. As you’ve said in the video - it was something to occupy my brain with instead of spiralling into my misery
As a professional rotter this shit sucks. Its a boring way to live but it is easy as hell. But i only rot cause of habit and I feel depressed or have some kind of negative feeling or something cause I dont wanna deal with it. Ive been doing it since i was a kid. Rotting is called that cause you're dying. It rots not only your body but your soul. I gotta fuckin kick myself out of the house and bike everymorning so I can actually live and face my life. I rot cause i cant ever disappoint myself if i dont set any expectations on myself. So i do the easiest things and turn to my bad habits. (UA-cam, gaming, unhealthy food. But mostly youtube. UA-cam fuck you you addictive piece of shit)
Its good to chill. But its not good to rot. If you wanna chill make sure you arent doing stuff thats detrimental to your body/mind or try to limit it. A little bit of UA-cam or junk food isnt the worst (tho be aware of the trap of this shit. Social media and junk foods designed to be addictive so moderating can be very hard. Especially if you're in the state of mind where you just wanna chill/rot, you have a lot less willpower when tired)
But anyways just chill in healthy ways like going outside or maybe instead of UA-cam watch a movie or read a book. Idfk
Im just mad at myself and went on a rant. Ill leave this up tho it could be od value to other people. Sorry for the poor grammar, English is my first language.
I’m a GenXer and I bedrot for 4 days straight. I don’t have any motivation
Life is phucked up. Everyone needs a brake sometimes…we are in a rush non stop.
There are probably healthier ways to take a break, than staying in bed all day (unless you're sick or really physically, not mentally exhausted). Going for a walk would be on top of my list.
Exactly and this video is an example of toxic productivity. Very disappointed by it.
Neurodivergent people sometimes need to withdraw and decompress
I think there’s a difference between rest and rotting.
Rotting is a good thing is such a crazy idea, what if our cells began to think like that? Damn...
In the Netherlands we as long as I can remember had this expression "rotten in bed" which means the same.
Rottend in bed?
Sounds like depression.
sounds like addiction
This is a new thing? Already invented, ain’t nobody got chores and my bed is essentially my bed and my couch. What are you supposed to do outside everyday that’s so important, people don’t call you first and you could probably stay silent for a month without them saying anything, where do you get the motivation from to convince yourself people outside the house are worth the effort
I am suffering bed rotting... I don't know how to get out of it
I think the stresses of our world have really caught up to our generation in particular, I genuinly believe if in the fall and winter part of the year school was centered around being outdoors, more people (me included) would get out of bed more. We need a change to our education to change the way we think.
I have to take your three basic guidelines and add a few due to my autism and ADHD diagnoses. I've found what I know to be "bad brain days" where either autism or ADHD sap some of my energy when I've not been tending to their needs.
For me, I only "bed rot" during a meltdown, where I've found lying down helps. Even then, it's only until it passes. After it passes, I find getting up and listening to or writing music helps.
And Gen Y. No amount of sleep is fixing the exhaustion. I've had COVID at least once, likely twice, and I wonder if this is the mark it left on me. I am just so tired and weary.
That definitely sounds like it could be long covid, you should get yourself checked out if you can.
Could you please make a video on mental health deteriorating due to PMS please. And how to deal with depressive symptoms associated w PMS. Thanks ❤
thank u for this video! as a recovering bedrotter, i found a lot of value in it 💐
Bed rotting is a form of giving up/extreme comfort seeking.
Even if "bed rotting" isn't being done by a depressed person it is mimicking the actions of a person with severe depression. I don't understand why anybody would mimic the behaviour of someone who is mentally ill and failing to cope.
i think it might be because that's what they want to hear. if you grew up with people telling you to work to a seemingly unrealistic extreme that you're fed up with, and one day you're told that it's okay to do nothing, you're likely to take it too far. you're changing one extreme end for another. or, at least, that's what I've seen.
this isn't about the topic but your headband is so cute omg
I think there is a healthy cycle of exertion, rest and recovery and if you get stuck in one of those phases then your health will suffer. In addition to the proportion of rest to exertion being important, I think some types of rest are much more healthy and restorative than others. laying in bed consuming short form content for hours is a lot less healthy than taking a long walk and reading book when you get home.
Nothing in excess is good. Bed rotting is good, once a week is fine on a weekend.
Apparently putting an avatar that is a hyperextension of a glamorised by social media perfect image of a "average person" is extremely exhausting for most people.
Well that's that.
Calling it bed rotting is just nasty in itself.. Geez...
I'll definitely consider whether I need a day to bed rot. Before, during and after my mum was dying from cancer I never took a day off. It's been two years now since she passed and I still haven't taken a proper break. I think I need time to grieve instead of pushing myself day in day out.
I mean,..even the term being used is a negative. Wanting to "rot" isn't a good thing at all and I do believe it is more of a cover up for underlying issues.
For some, doing nothing feels regenerative, while for others, it may worsen feelings of depression or stagnation. Cmiiw
Talk about watching true crime regularly and its effects on the mental health of an individual.
I used to watch true crime everyday and eventually I had to stop. Controversial topic but I would LOVE to hear your video response to my topic recommendation!
True Crime content 🚩
If you can keep it to once a week and generally meet your responsibilities and keep your life on track even with the bed rotting, I honestly don't see what the problem is. Then again, I don't subscribe to the idea that "if you CAN be productive, then you MUST be productive".
I always feel so burnt out, and after work I definitely couch rot... I've been trying to get out of it. Sometimes it works but then I burn myself out in other ways. It's a hard balance
Bed rotting is only ever helpful if you are so stressed out that you are getting physical stress symptoms. Spending a day in bed and calling it productive can be good in that way. But only laying in bed is never good for your mind and body. Everyone needs to consider their own health and their own life. Saying something is only bad or only good does not help anyone because we are all so different.
bedrotting is self care for me. I have severe ADHD, and also experienced pretty notable neglect as a kid, which I have compensated for that by always doing things, never sitting down, and chronically burning myself out because I never knew how to notice my body’s needs for rest or how my brain worked. An advisor in my social work undergrad literally told me to do nothing one time, and said to not worry about my paper deadlines which she spoke to my instructors about, and that was the first time I really was able to do nothing until I was able to resume my tasks with confidence. I still struggle to prioritize slowing down but the idea of just “rotting” for a bit has been a light hearted and helpful thing for me. If I don’t rot, I will have rotten food in the fridge, overflowing dishes, missed deadlines, etc.
I personally need to bed rot every week, I have been doing it for years now, since I was a teenager. This is just how it is 🙂
Nah samee
I swear I need one day a week at least where I lay in bed all day
If you can keep it to once a week and generally meet your responsibilities and keep your life on track even with the bed rotting, I honestly don't see what the problem is. Then again, I don't subscribe to the idea that "if you CAN be productive, then you MUST be productive".
@@oksanakaido8437 same
You need to find a purpose and get over it
I did this when suicidal. It doesn't help you develop courage
Your videos are always balanced and nuanced and informative!! Thanks for working so hard on them.
This video is especially interesting as I have missed a lot of work days in my life due to my depression and anxiety. Particularly I’m prone to fits of tearfulness and have humiliated myself previously if go into work on one of those days because the smallest thing can push me to start sobbing.
I used to feel very guilty about doing anything BUT bed rotting on my mental health days since I thought if I was taking a sick day I needed to be laid up in bed. It’s definitely validating to hear that it’s more helpful to gently put yourself back into your routines as I often do. I find that if I try to have a semi-normal day at home I’m more equipped to take the next day head on and go back into my daily life.
8:30 not being responsive, not reaching out
9:40 mental health days - absenteism and presenteism
Me watching this while bed rotting
I know that this isn’t what the people on TikTok are talking about, but I just want to make the point that the idea of staying in bed isn’t nice or fun or at all appealing to me because of times in my life I have been bedridden due to ME/CFS.
This is why I appreciate being a gamer, everyday I have like 6 different games I have to do a daily in. Wait uhh crap that doesn't sound better...
Going for a walk is the most important part of my day. It helps to set up the rest of my day into wakefulness(with a nudge of pistachio tea with a bit of honey, absolutely recommend).
There is more to ensuring that one doesn't sleep throughout the day.
However preserving walking 8kms(a single loop of my local lake across) a day has become one of the most important things in my life.
My biggest issue with bedrotting right now is that I work a 9pm to 6 am job, and on my weekends I tend to try to keep that going. But this means I'm always up at whatever in the morning, in my apartment and not wanting to do anything to make sounds that could bother my neighbors. On top of that, since Covid most overnight places I used to go to just to get out of the house (mostly stores) are closed during my waking hours.
Add to that most parks close at sundown and I have a nasty reaction to alcohol, I can't really go to parks or bars. Not to mention the money needed to spend time at any restaurant/bar that I just don't have. I at least try to draw or write occasionally on bedrotting days, but I really don't have much I can do outside or unrelated to a screen.
I think this is a video I had to see this month. I realised I power through on my outside responsibilities (education, work, social stuff) but after that period my only strategy is to nothing in bed while watching videos non-stop (which is not even restful). Last Saturday and Sunday I took my first rest days after 17 days and I did nothing and felt bad, assuming that's just the natural state of things, eventhough the past summer has been my most restful summer in a long time, where I was constantly doing things.This is what I needed to hear. Maybe rest is in maintaining that balance in between the underdoing and overdoing switch between.
Bed is for either sleep or sex, is that a good assumption?
No.
Your description for the channel says you have a manager to handle emails or advice, how does that even work, how does somebody apply to be a UA-cam secretary manager? I have no idea how that conversation would get started to begin with, that’s a pretty niche job
i need to have a rotting day cause if i dont i quite literally get extremely physically exausted. i work as much as i have to. 40 hour work week, gym 3 times a week but i need to bedrot at least a few hours a day and on sunday
@@hidansektas a few hours isn’t bad but bed rotting the entire day is outrageouse
@raelindashoates975 if i were jobless id bed rot the entire day but you know , no choice i have to work
Been bed rotting since 2020.
Oh Anna... You should be paid for this. Thanks so much!
Bed rotting days are bad. Self care days where you actually take care of yourself and do restorative activities are good. Sitting in bed all day isn’t a restorative.
Not sure if im convinced that 'bed rotting' is any less healthy than the previous generations coping of being workaholic or just generally pushing yourself to burn out. I think if you have nothing particularly pressing & you feel you need a day, then take a day. Then get back on it the next day. Just don't forget to do the other work you need to in life to help yourself, break it down if you need to. And for people who are burning out or breaking down. Absolutely take a day to self sooth & switch off. Apart from that I think it's easy to not consider what it's like to grow up in a world where they are always switched on. Finally, maybe rotting wouldn't be such an issue if access to therapy & support was easier to obtain.
Bed rot all you want. What’s with the pressure you have to do a million things everyday?? Breath.
Rotmaxxing
Thank you, I needed this
i have to take naps thruout the day cuz i get tired every few hours or so, but my sleep gets fucked cuz of that, wtf do i do? slowly poison myself by masking it with caffeine?
As a millennial I prefer bath rotting
Tysm for all of this free insight. I wish you or someone like you could be my therapist
18:54 FIT THE FACTS
Ive said this years ago and Ill say it again. Society's awareness of mental health isnt necessarily a good thing. People know a few psych 101 things, glamorize their "neurodivergent" status, and self-indulge.
Seems like a coin flip. Could be okay, could be not okay. Could be avoidance for some; or it really could be an effective way of recharging. Observing with critical eyes is smart though.
I am bed rotting when depressed and don’t have the energy to do anything. I don’t get how it could be seen as a good thing when it is the symptom of my depression. I tried to get up and sadly it doesn’t heal my depression.
I feel like bed rotting is being glamorized. It’s not a fun time to be unable to get out of bed to the point of having bedsores. It’s called bed ROTTING for a reason. If you can help it, I wouldn’t recommend spending a whole day in bed.
Elder gen z here born in 99 but bed rotting to horror movies or shows recharges me for work or the tasks i need to do daily. Hey atleast i showered and brushed my teeth today…dishes might be piled up tho 😂
Great video. I was interested to see what you were going to say about this. And we actually agree entirely on this matter. Cheers!
Appreciate your perspective. 💯🔆
It must be related to cell phones, tiktok, etc. and social media obsession, compulsion, addiction.
Don't villainize revolutionary technology all because some people decide they'd rather rot inside all day.
Pot helps achieve this immensely
this format really suits me