Why are MUSLIM MEN asking their WIFE for PERMISSION?
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Why are MUSLIM MEN asking their WIFE for PERMISSION? dives deeper into muslim men that have to run to their wife for permission before they do anything. A lof of men let their wife have the final say and can’f decide without them. This leads to a lot of weak men and frustrated women.
Timestamps ⬇️
0:00 Why are MUSLIM MEN doing this?
2:08 Asking PERMISSION in Islam
3:06 The Modern Muslim Woman
4:27 Shaykh Mohamed Hoblos?
5:24 Communication vs Permission
6:55 My message to MEN?
9:51 My message to WOMEN?
10:49 SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
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There's no "ask your wife" but there's "informing your wife where you are going".
Exactly. That’s why I inform my husband of my whereabouts after I already left 😂
@@priusa8113Feminism isnt Islam.
Husband and wife got different roles.
Wives gotta obey da husband
@@priusa8113 You can't go if he doesn't allow
@@priusa8113 you surely liked your own comment, but i am surprised that someone else liked it too 🤦♂️
@@doge9693 I saw a lot of disloyal things happened in the U.S. The husbands are busy working to provide for their families, while the wifes go out with her friends to the night club and hanging out with other men.
I feel like the brother was informing his wife he was going to post-taraweeh motive; his friend set him up for saying he was asking for permission. You should always inform your spouse where you are going, because otherwise she or he will worry why you are not home, but as a man you shouldn't be asking for permission
There is noting wrong informing wife. But asking permission for salah
@@farhanrifat7957 Bruh. Even some guys do this. They tell their wives to not pray and be with him 💀 Like Broo, that's her farz you can't stop her. I will never obey my husband if he tells me to stop reading Quran and give him a glass of water(Because it happened with a girl I know) Unless he is not able to take a glass of water himself 😂
Yeah when I saw the clip I read 'has to get permission' as 'has to let her know'. Using 'permission' in the caption to me seemed as a slight way to tease the friend, like the way one would say 'get permission from your mother'. I don't think that clip in itself necessarilly showed a marriage where the woman was completely dominating the man in all affairs.
So personally I'm unsure if the original clip was the best example of this topic (perhaps the comments of the video may have suggested otherwise though). But I agree and get the point Faiyad was making (that in general Islamically men should take the role of a leader and have the final say in marriages, rather than being controlled by their wife).
@binte_waqas i agree with you on not letting go of your farz (mandatory prayers, fasting etc) to obey your husband, but other than that you have to obey him, even if it's on the expense of doing something rewarding like reading the quran.
Bc obeying your husband is a farz whilst reading the quran is ajr.
@@sabeeen_01 and islam literally tells you that if you husband is a burden for you to get closer to Allah than leave him.
9:51 your message to us sisters was such a relief to hear...i speak for so many muslimahs when i say we feel so heard in your videos. May Allah reward you brother 🤲🏻
You feel heard by him basically degrading most men? Subhan Allah.
@@JEAGERlST Exactly. It seems like a projection almost. If SHE dealt with weak men, that's her reality and not the reality for all. I'm not sure if this is the general consensus that men are weak and a bunch of failures.
if that's what you gathered from his message to Muslim women then level up idk what to tell u
@@InVitroxoxo, ukhti, it's a bit ridiculous to believe every Muslim around you is a loser. I know so many good brothers. So many hufaz, who are polite, respectful, whom people are proud of etc. Now to believe that most Muslim men are weak is a bit ridiculous. Maybe he's referring to those in his country or city, idk but where I'm from, it's certainly isn't the case.
@@JEAGERlST facts. Wallahi, believing that is the equivalent of believing all Muslimahs are useless. Can't cook, clean, listen to music, and look up to ig models/female rappers.
People understanding masculinity and femininity would solve 90% of marriage problems😂
@@Alia2213 That's sad.
@@Alia2213You confuse femininity with not being able to discipline children. Two completely different pots
And be sure no muslim man wants a wife who never obeys him, when asked to cook she says „Do it yourself!“ or never does the household.
Every real man loves a submissive wife, and every real woman enjoys to obey her husband
@@Alia2213you are queen 👑 girl..i really like your opinion..keep going like that..and follow islam and islamic teachings in your everyday life..May Allah swt reward youb
@@Alia2213Femininity != inability to discipline children
Be a feminine and soft wife for your husband and be a strict, loving mother for your children
@@facut768May Allah increase her and us in understanding of Quran & Sunnah, no need to overpraise someone
Number 1, Not every wife will try her level best to mold her husband, this sentence made it seem like women are dangerous, waiting to harm their husbands when they get the chance. So husbands should always be alert and never let his guards down around the wife. That's not a comfortable spouse or relationship to be in😅😅.
Don't generalise, it's dangerous. Every person, marriage, and situation is different.
Number 2 Not all women are like the woman in that show that doesn't want to plan trips, but prefers to simply be taken to an already planned trip. She says she's indecisive, that's her and that's okay. Again every women is different. Every marriage is different. Every situation is different.
A wife and husband are a team, work together, want to please each other, and are allies. Not enemies.
Like you said there's nothing wrong with a wife pleasing and listening to her man. Also there's nothing wrong with a husband pleasing and involving his woman in the decision making process before he takes the final decision.
Most westernized women are like that
No no no Allah made all women as a test, they will try to completely control you and they can’t even help it, so you need to completely control them before they control you and you’ll have a happy marriage…..and if you believe that then just throw your 🧠 in the 🚽 at that point
It’s not „there is nothing wrong“ with a woman listening to and pleasing her husband, it’s *obligatory* for her to do so or otherwise she will be s1nful
@@AbdurrahmanAlKurdi Yes, and vice versa, a husband neglecting his responsibilities towards his wife is sinful. It's not optional.
I used "nothing wrong" because number 1 to use his words, number 2 to make people see that it's not a slave-master relationship, it's a loving comfortable relationship. Those words don't signify that it's voluntary in Islam to displease your spouse. Rebelling against your husband or not treating your wife with ma3roof/kindness, means ignoring Allah's set responsibilities towards your spouses, which is both sinful and will be asked about everything on the day of judgment.
@@AbdurrahmanAlKurdiThe husband is also sinful if he does not treat his wife with kindness, and saying I’ll go anywhere without informing him not necessarily ask for permission, it would hurt her! So don’t just abide by the rules for women but also for men!
Why don’t we just allow people to decide what they are comfortable doing in their relationships? If it works for them, why should anyone else be mad about it? I feel like alot of Muslim content creators are allowing redpill rhetoric to infiltrate Islam since Andrew Tate reverted. Relationships are partnerships. You should be the leader as the man but can still seek input. If a man would like to get his wife’s thoughts before a decision, I don’t see the issue 🤷🏾♂️
SubhanAllah a reasonable comment
For salah? the most important thing in islam??
@@AmazonSyncLinkTrue and it’s fardh for him to pray salah in the masjid so he shouldn’t be asking however more like “informing her” where you gonna be all night 👍
I don't think he meant that we shouldn't get wifes thoughts on the matter. Ultimate point is if there is a disagreement and difference of opinion, man has the final say on the matter. Also its not just okay but good to inform your wife so she may not get worried were we are, infact those men who just roam outside for hours with informing are the problem here and are neglting the family. But in the end its just a matter of respect and care to inform. Wife on the other hand has to ask permission for leaving the house.
My husband does plenty of things without telling me, or asking. But sometimes, he does ask if it's ok with me if he goes. That's because we have kids and he knows if he leaves, all of it falls on my plate. It's just a matter of respect and consideration of the circumstance. I always have to ask him before making plans and leaving, unless it's a routine things like taking kids doing an activity we always do, at a time he expects me to, which he gave me a general permission to do. If I make plans before confirming with him, it would make him upset. But that's out of forgetfulness and being raised non-muslim honestly. We both follow the sunnah as best as possible. I think the convo needs to go beyond what is mandatory or required, and also account for kindness and respect of your spouse and the circumstance.
100% when you have kids and you also care for your parents. Because other siblings too busy (in life) they ask if i need to be somewhere. Its a team work thats how marriage works. ❤
what’s mandatory and fard should come first etc then all the kindness and respect come afterwards
What that sister said at 0:50 about the prophet ﷺ shows a deeper rooted issue - the lack of knowledge. Had everyone saught Islamic knowledge from its people, and not some tiktokers, most of our issues in society would be solved
والله اعلم
💯💯💯
People are entitled to pursue fulfilling relationships and can do whatever they want in their relationships if it works perfectly for them. It's unnecessary to judge them. There's no harm in a man seeking his wife's permission and I don't understand why it hurts some men's fragile masculinity. I don't wanna get married, but if I ever do, then I'll discuss it with my husband and tell him that both me and him will have to inform each other before doing anything and shouldn't ask for permission, but if he expects me to ask for permission, then I'll expect the same from him. Ik that man is the leader, but there's nothing wrong with a man asking for his wife's thoughts before making a decision. 3:46 I don't support it when they bash women for cooking (as long as the woman that is cooking isn't forced to) but hey, hear me out. Men who cook are often applauded, with some expressing sentiments like "as he should," as it's more typical to see women cooking. However, witnessing a man cooking is less common, especially considering that men in many households either cannot or choose not to cook. Therefore, encountering a man who cooks is pleasantly unexpected and refreshing.
But when its the other way around which it should be you women flip, you are just a bunch of hypocrites what is keeping you in islam???
The man is the head of the house case closed
@@ilirgerguri8314 Wdym by "Which it should be you women"? Please elaborate.
And btw, I never said that man isn't the head of a house, I only said that there is nothing wrong with asking permission from your wife.
@@MahekMel There is something wrong if you ask your wife for permission, the wife must obey the husband and the husband must take care of his wife, not the other way around
Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: "The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) cursed the women who imitate men and the men who imitate women.".
The man must take the wheel, not me. He must make the decisions, be competent, dominate but must be loving (listening ear)
Absolute
Islam
is a religion of peace ❤
No it's not. It's a Religion in which a human finds peace. Islam is SUBMISSION to The Most High! Through this you will receive peace. This does not mean people will allow you to live in that said PEACE!
Islam is religion of justice and truth
My husband tells me he’s going out not for “permission”. We have three kids it’s natural communication to have between spouses
Very helpful video, jazaKAllah brother
Wa iyaakum
That clip from Ali Dawah's fitnah show got so much backlash. Hows the girl comparing a guy to her daddy. Men should lead, but the women should be able to communicate and give input, and if she cant do that she is still a girl and not a woman. Simple.
in one section of that i've heard someone say MasyaAllah, but is that even the right word for the context??
her story is not great, it's weak family
Facts
@@suhaibsuhaib5947 I remember you from the comment section of that video lmao
@@s7_wys yeah lol its crazy tho woman say they want this type of men that ask the for permision and than later on cry that they are not masculine enough,dont listen to what woman want look at what they respond to. best quote ever
@@suhaibsuhaib5947 Those are the type of girls you stay away from. Females like that aint women bro, they are girls. A woman is independent and supportive like the Prophet (PBUH)'s wife Khadija (RA).
I have a friend who is going through a divorce. He thinks she just suddenly stopped loving him. I asked him questions to figure the problem, and it was clear to me that she stopped loving him because she's mentally exhausted from being the leader of the family. When the woman is the leader, she will start resenting the husband because she's acting as his mother instead of his wife. I tried helping him for months, suggesting he act more like a leader in his household, but he thought it was more important to be nice and let her do what she wants to do.
And than people hate on the red pill🤦♂️
@@suhaibsuhaib5947why is the red pill needed when Islam already clearly tells the man to lead?
@@Llama-DelRey I don't see islam telling men to lead whwn all I hear is mufti menk and nouman Ali khan,and woman saying a man having any time of masculinity is misoginy btw I don't think this was about leading the household but more about him being pasive and letting her do stuff without telling her shut up you are a woman,and you see yourself muslim woman hate that kind of man they instead say they want the man that ask them permission to go outside,so some poor brothers fall for it but the red pill core messages is look at what a woman does not what she says she wants.
@@suhaibsuhaib5947 Then that is the flaw of the individual not Islam. You are speaking from ignorance and you need to seek knowledge in the deen from the right scholars and teachers, rather than Myron who says things like he'd be okay with his daughter marrying a pron star.
@@Llama-DelRey male virginity has no value if the porn star repented and became a muslim I dont see the problem the older you get your will relisize woman dont care about male virginity cuz it has no function
brakallahu fik brother for the work you do ! # PODCAST
and the woman that push this are usually same ones that say wife shouldnt have to ask husband to leave there should be communication and trust
Assalamualaikum to everybody watching this video!!
Walaikumsalam brother
Walaikumasalam :)
Walekumassalam
Wa alaikum as salaam
Walaikum assalam
MASHALLAH very good vidoe you made brother!
My husband is the head of the household so he doesn’t need my permission to do anything. Case closed and Allah knows best
The video is kinda misleading nobody “Asks” for permission to leave the house or go somewhere that’s just the equivalence of it being a prison to ask the security guard if you could use the toilet or for an emergency! Nevertheless what people in the comments and you as well are not getting is that it’s good to “inform” them of where you are going incase they worry that something might have gone wrong as they expect you home by a certain time! Imagine not caring about your spouse enough to worry about them when they don’t come back home at the usual time? Maybe you don’t love your husband enough but don’t put down other sisters who love their husband and want them safe in this crazy world where knife crimes and robbery happens almost everyday! Jazakallah ❤
@@nami20622i appreciate you worrying etc but a wife needs to ask not a husband you need to understand that in islam
@@abdulbutt2850 Can you give reference where it says the wife needs to "ask" I would love to learn something new!
@@nami20622I tried asking people in the comments about a wife needing permission to leave the house and most said that’s true. In reality it’s probably not practiced much but the fact that some people live like that is crazy. Infantilization of women.
@@matthenley3886 They like the dominance against women and controlling them so they just spew whatever they want, however im assuming thats how it is in Saudi Arabia, women dong go out without a male guardian! Its pretty weird!
The woman who said that Muhammad(saw) used to ask permission from his wives to leave the house etc reminded me of this Hadith.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Do not tell a lie against me for whoever tells a lie against me (intentionally) then he will surely enter the Hell-fire."
Sahih Al Bukhari 106
9:31 Mad Respect Akhi💯💯
May Allah guide Ali dawah and us All
Akhi, there's no way you believe women's fitrah is to destroy men.
1:30 😂
Eren Yeager
It is. Be the man we need you to be or face hell 😂
@@doge9693Levi Ackerman
I know right it seems like us women are bad guys 😭😭
he didn't say destroy men, he said women will try to mould men. This is simply a matter of seeing if your man is indecisive or not & taking charge if your man is submissive to you. It's done instinctually to see how steadfast a man is and adjusting accordingly
Assalaamu alaykom, brov! Late Eid Mubarak and responding to you late for topic ideas: how too many divorces end up with the father losing custody of children after the mother remarries - it's a horrible, un-Islamic situation I wouldn't wish on my enemies, and a painful one in which many fathers see their children under the care of a strange man. And you touched on the perils of filth that children have access to, but unfortunately this is rarely spoken out and warned against in masaajid around the world (in my experience). Keep on making videos, brotha! May Allah protect you
it's not about "asking for permission" it's about informing your wife, and discussing with your wife. Marriage is a partnership. In islam both the man and the woman have respect for each other.
Spot on akhi
Growing up in the west and TO STAY truthful to the deen is like playing an extraordinary game.
Masha Allah brother you’re so good may Allah bless you and your family 🤲 insha Allah
Bro you’re telling the truth but people don’t want to hear the truth Wallahi may Allah guide us Ameen ya Allah 🤲🤲🤲 and I really appreciate it for your hard working 🥰
As a muslimah you have to tell us where u are not necessarily “permission” but just telling.Thats how i was raised.
Interesting sis, but asking =/= telling.
@@FaiyadFit u should still ask if ur wife is okay with u going somewhere or doing something specific. its not abt asking " permission" its about communicating with one another and seeing if ur s/o is okay with u doinf or going to wherever. doesnt make a man any less of a man for asking his wife/ contributing her in hos daily decisions. i get a man should lead to embrace his wifes feminine enegry etc but i think theres a very fine line between " asking permission" and asking/ communicating w ur wife yfm
@@mariaaxp0 Asking if she is okay with it = asking her permission. The imperative is on the woman to ask for permission of her man.
@@self-help3796 so you would be okay with your dad, for example, going out till dawn or taking descions without asking your mum if shes okay with it? no it would upset her obviously. when two become married they become one. im not even talking religiously atm im just saying in general if we live in the same house, i expect my husband to let me be part of his life and decisions. not cause hes any less of a man or because im taking away from his masculinty, but because it shows he respects me. a man can take lead and be dominate while still asking his wife if she's combatable.
@@mariaaxp0
@mariaaxp0 First of all , don't answer questions for me. Secondly, you are right in saying you are not talking Islamically. You are sharing your own opinions based on your feelings. I don't see how, as a muslim, I should play along with that since Islam is the code of conduct for everything in life. The rights of a wife are specific in a marriage, and no two people don't become one when they get married literally. She can not interfere with things that are not within her stated rights , no matter how much she hates it. And if she hates something that Allah himself hasn't given her rights to, she is the problem. My mother doesn't interfere in my dad's business. Maybe your mother did, that's why you are thinking this way.
It’s insane that you said women are hardwired to castrate men. Hardwired by Allah obviously? Who else does the hardwiring? And why would Allah hardwire such a thing? Doesn’t Allah do what’s best for us? Make us in the best manner? If you want to claim women are hardwired this way, then you must also hold the view that it is the best way to be hardwired because it is Allah that has done it.
It's just red pilled content spilling into Islam, that's all.
He explained it but you didn't understand.
Allah beless you my brother and leader 🎉🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤❤❤
Amiin amiin
JazakhAllah Khair my brother for this
Wa iyaakum
I'm speechless. This is unheard of in this part of the world.
Jazakallahhu Khair brothwr for this video I absolutely agree to everything you say! Its true i dont even ask about finance because i do stress if we have a dip as in fact ir Normal. My husband reassures me nothing to worry about. I love the fact he leads, he is the dominant, decisive and take care of the financial. This is how it should be! I look after the house and make sure what ever my husband needs or wants i give it to him without asking.❤
Idk why people on the Internet have to make it seem like "most guys are losers" and "most girls are pathetic."
I think they focus too much about the few negative people who stand out and ignore all the rest.
The west mentality is crazy
Could you please do a video of your take on the 'Michaela School prayer ban' please
fun thing is theres specific hadith where its obligation for woman to tell husband before leaving but not other way round
''fun thing''? It is really pathetic how muslim men and women are fighting each other for dominance.
Can you give the Hadith please 🙏🏾 would appreciate it, with its reference !
@@nami20622 “O Prophet! When you divorce women, divorce them at their ‘Iddah (prescribed periods) and count (accurately) their ‘Iddah (periods). And fear Allah your Lord (O Muslims). And turn them not out of their (husband’s) homes nor shall they (themselves) leave, except in case they are guilty of some open illegal sexual intercourse. And those are the set limits of Allah. And whosoever transgresses the set limits of Allah, then indeed he has wronged himself” [al-Talaaq 65:1]
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:
Zayd ibn Thaabit said: The husband is the master (sayyid) according to the Book of Allah, and he recited the verse in which Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“They both found her lord [sayyid] (i.e. her husband) at the door” [Yoosuf 12:25]
‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab said: “Marriage is slavery, so be careful with regard to whom you give your daughter for enslavement.” In al-Tirmidhi and elsewhere it is narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “I urge you to treat women well, for they are prisoners with you.”
@@nami20622 Ibn ‘Umar reports from the Prophet that once a lady came to the Prophet and asked him about the rights of a husband on his wife. He replied: … she should not leave his house without his permission. (Sunan Bayhaqi, No: 14490)
@@nami20622its in the video
Nothing wrong with asking your spouse it’s just a weird obsession with dominating men and promoting that
True !
It's ok to ask somethings but not everything
Men in Islam must be domnating and Woman must be submissive
I’m really happy you mentioned you don’t agree with our brother Ali Dawahs show. It shows you have strong values akhi اللهم بارك
May allah reward you
I'm not a Muslim but I agree with this. It's actually a thing in most cultures, the man leads and the woman follows. It's like that in my home too (I'm South African, black, Zulu), my mom can never go anywhere or bring anyone to our home without my dad's permission.
I thinknit is good to tell your wife weher you are going, not so much as to say the man NEEDS her permission. I like to know where my husband is but I also wouldn’t like for him to go out late literally every night
Interesting sis, but asking =/= telling.
Although there is no permission needed, It’s totally reasonable that you tell your wife if you are going to be late especially after taraweeh . Also when you are married you need to allocate a quality time for your wife . More time and preference should be given to wife over friends. These are basic things that are needed to maintain love between the couple. I think the brother was doing that and maybe the caption got it wrong as asking for permission.
Faiyad,please make a advice muslim for born Muslims who having thoughts on Islam. I was one of them and need some advice on relearn Islam
Omg first. Brother mashallah bro give me pin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yes, please make the video about gender roles in marriage.
I went to an Islamic school and we had an Adab class. One chapter was on marriage and how a Muslimah should obey her husband. He's the leader, decision taker and the provider of the house. HOWEVER we were also taught that a man should as his wife for permission when leaving the house at night because that is the time that he was supposed to spend with her and their family. Which to me makes sense. A lot of brothers waste away their time with their friends at night and so on. And this creates distance in the relationship. Also asking for permission doesn't always mean an act of power but sometimes also consulting your partner. Eg Is it okay with you if I come late tomorrow? Is there anything that you need? And so on.
Whilst I get your point. I don't think that it's always as deep as you're portraying it. Husbands should consult with their wives to a certain degree.
Solid video, brother. Just one thing; putting female drawings with their hair showing, like in 3:25, is not a good idea, the video wouldn’t be any less with them removed, otherwise, great video.
As salaamu alaikum
I myself as a muslima 80sborn
I have no issue getting permission from my husband" he leads and i follow alhamdulillah
Interesting. I have a few questions about this though if you don't mind answering. In modern times, us women have more education and access to work. I make twice as much as my husband because he did not have as robust of an education. He has a good heart, but yes I do feel like he's pretty feminine at times (except anger lol). He tells me (he is a revert so he grew up differently) -- that he's a feminist, wanted 50/50 for most, always brings up how I make more so I should contribute more or how he feels like it's unfair for me to keep my money or contribute what I want if I want while he provides for me. He says it's sexist and now that we have inflation and the world is making it hard to live off of a single income, he will do what he can but we both have to do things together and that that's "his" decision. How should I go about this? I told him that when I have kids it definitely isn't 50/50 and that islamically he should provide for me, but he was even making a huge deal about the dowry... and my salary, and constantly brings up his background and how he thinks it's sexist and that I shouldn't be treated special because I have "girl anatomy". How should I navigate this? I even plan dates, cater to his emotional needs, and feel totally like the man. It's making it hard for me to respect him despite his heart.
In terms of permission -- I don't think husbands need permission for everything and should be the leader, however I do think it's mostly a courtesy or respect, and women should absolutely do that with their husbands too. I ask/tell my husband every time I spend time with friends or plan to do things. But I also like knowing and asking about what he does. I do think some big decisions like a car or house should be joint decisions though because I will also live there or use these things. But yeah, any advice for reverts or modern muslim men to become more masculine or leader type? I am annoyed that I have to worry about money and constantly think of getting a better job, because he refuses to work hard for me ( I grew up muslim and around muslim brothers and my father and muslim men in our community so I think I understand/got this trait more).
Why didnt you discuss this before marrying him? Believe me you cant change him, only islam. How more hé practise how more gheerah hé gets. I dont even have to talk about working outside my home with my husband. His gheerah wont let it. Talk with your husband about having gheerah. And that the man has to be the leader in house not the women. Wallaahi i saw 2 marriage strandend because of this. May Allaah change your marriage to the best amin
@@TawhidKurdi he’s a revert, someone who I married due to character, and he promised me all this stuff beforehand but didn’t understand the scale of responsibility on him. I still love him dearly, but his philosophy is what’s straining us. He just brings up that it’s all new for him and while I get that- he’s the one who pursued me and promised me a good life. I couldn’t date him or anything so… we accepted since the reverts in our community are often really good Muslims. I still love him, but he’s backtracking I think
Assalamu Alaykum. I’m going to start out with a Hadith where the prophet saw says that anyone that turns a woman against her husband is not from me. So it’s very important we don’t start coming at him or your marriage. Nevertheless, these things have slowly been taking your rights away as a muslimah and now it’s at a point where you’re slowly losing respect and he’s slowly getting more comfortable with this equal dynamic. My advice is to pray istikhara to Allah and consult some reputable women in your community that are of knowledge or even online. There are many because what you don’t want to do is run to another man with your problems even if it’s a person of knowledge in my opinion unless you can do it completely anonymous and not trigger him to come in as a vulture bc this happens. And if you decide you can’t live like this communicate it to him. Tell him this is not Islamic and is taking a toll on you and that you don’t want it to continue this way until you fully lose respect for him.
I mean when contacting a shaykh complete anonymously. My dear sister, i hope you will take this matter seriously so that things will be beter in the future in sha Allaah, and if you will talk about it with your husband talk with hikma and not in a harsh manner that will soften his heart. My bad if i said to much sis. I just really hope for you the best in sha Allah.
@@FaiyadFit walaikum as salaam brother I appreciate it. I will try to consult imams and women who are married for a long time. Thank you for the advice
I don't like how that sister was exposing her former husband.
I know she got backlash and it’s totally inappropriate and shameful! The prophet said husbands and wife should keep secret about their private relationships, you don’t have to tell the world about them! 😢 imagine how embarrassing it is for him to watch and listen to this and all his friends/family can also access the same information! Subhanallah hope she repents and May Allah forgive her!
@nami20622 Yeah exactly what I was thinking. He was most likely pissed about it too. It shows her lack of respect for him and no sympathy for the guy. May Allah forgive her.
I think it’s just as a form of respect and communication. But yeah, he didn’t need to ask for permission.
Even though my fiancé will move to the US from India with me after the nikkah, I still want to make sure to ask his permission.
I actually didn’t know about this. Not married yet but when I get married I’d rather not ask my wife for permission to do stuff. Appreciate the video akhi.
Yes I have noticed this the wife seems to be in charge of many things now even changing how good the husband was before in some cases the opposite can happen but that is unlikely.
Would you please make a video of prayer ban in london school uk?This is really disappointing for every Muslim around the world.
Wife has rights in Islam, so it's important to make sure she is okay with it. This doesn't mean she is taking away our leadership. 😅
I feel like people who are not married yet shouldn't have opinions on how a married couple should live their life as long as both parties are genuinely fine and happy with how their marriage is. There's guidelines we need to follow as Muslims of course in a marriage but there's no hard and fast rule which applies to every single marriage. There will always be exceptions.
A marriage involves lots of respect and forgiveness and working together to make the marriage work and last a lifetime. Its not always about your rights or getting what you want out of it. Patience and being understanding of each other is very important.
1) Allah
2) Spouse and children
3) Everything and everyone else
Follow this and in sha Allah your marriage will last and be a happy one
Can’t wait to cook for my future husband one day ❤
bro he's just informing his wife maybe so she wouldnt worry or if she wants/needs him for something. its okay to respect your wife like how she should respect you. its not that deep
I think shaming people for their own life choices is spreading corruption. Furthermore, a woman has the right to know.
'As for 'Ali he said: "Women are plentiful, and you can easily change one for another. Ask the slave girl, for she will tell you the truth." So the apostle called Burayra to ask her, and 'Ali got up and gave her a violent beating, saying, "Tell the apostle the truth," to which she replied, "I know only good of her. The only fault I have to find with 'A'isha is that when I am kneading dough and tell her to watch it she neglects it and falls asleep and the sheep (T. 'pet lamb') comes and eats it!
Ibn Ishaq (d. 768); Ibn Hisham (d. 833), A. Guillaume, ed, The Life of Muhammad [Sirat Rasul Allah]
Having to be the leader in a marriage as a woman is frustrating, annoying, and depressing. 😢 It's like having an adult child!
And not being allowed to do *anything* without permission in a marriage is like being a child.
@@matthenley3886 nobody said that, but as the one with authority, he has the right to say yes/no.
@@Username27071 The wife cannot leave the house without permission and must obey everything the husband says. What is the difference between that relationship and a child/parent? Not much
@@Username27071 Infantilization of women 👧🏻
@@matthenley3886 Great question, the difference is that one relationship is voluntary. Both the husband and wife enter marriage willingly, with full understand of their rights and responsibilities. Whereas the parent-child relationship is inherently hierarchical.
These roles are not based on superiority and inferiority, they actually complement each other. A husband’s role as a provider and protector does not imply complete dominion over his wife, it is a responsibility to be fulfilled. Whereas parents have complete authority over their child.
Regardless, these guidelines in Islam were set by God. He is All-Knowing and these rules are meant to protect women, not harm them.
Wallahi, i understand that if my husband married again that it is his right if he is following the Quran and Sunnah. This should be discussed at the beginning so that everyone is on the same page, however if it is not, the wife should at least get a heads up and not be blindsided. However sometimes as women, men are not provided a safe space to communicate their needs for him to even be comfortable to. Not in all cases but in a lot.
Please make a video about Palestine!!!!
A woman leading a relationship is bound to fail.
Can i just say one thing though. I understand that the man is the leader and doesn’t require permission from the wife to make decisions, but what if the husband is spending his money recklessly and isn’t making sound financial decisions resulting in debt etc, and refuses to take advise from the wife. What happens then? Speaking from experience as i grew up in a home like that.
Sir I disagree with your opinion.
Women also has the capacity to take life decisions. If a Husband wants help from his wife regarding taking decisions , I don't find anything wrong in it.
For arguments sake even if i agree with your entire point a man taking the opinion of his wife is a choice but a woman must take what her husband says, its not a choice its a must
@Jonjacob791 genuinely curious where its written? Cuz even I considered this with the correct intent the men that exist today especially muslim men around me preach but they do the opposite, I wouldn't listen to them...and what if the men like in southasia forbid there wives from studying? From meeting her family....
We are not taking people opinions we take what’s in Quran and Hadith.
@UMAIRRAJA90 I would like references genuinely, cuz no offense but muslim men from where I come from are so immature. I can't risk my life sanity if Muslim Men are sleeping mentally but act all high and mighty.
I don't think that was his point though (that women should never make decisions in marriages). Of course there will be times where inputs from both parties is needed.
What Faiyad was against is the recent phenomenon of overly controlling women in marriages which stop men from having a say at all. Ideally in Islam, the role of men in marriages should be to act as leaders, they should be competent to have the final say and make a decision when needed. And the blame for this system isn't necessarilly always the women, but also to men who have failed to step up and take on this role.
Alhamdoullah I am from North Africa and this is how we live here, women ask their husbands for permission.
See when I clicked I was like what's wrong with asking your wife, but then when I saw that first tiktok, na I didn't mean like that, that's just ridiculous.
Saintly women are unseen by men.
Saintly women are difficult to find by men.
Because they are usually in their houses if they're not in school or at work or the mosque. U don't see them in cafés or events etc. Alhamdoulillah!
But the downside of it is that for the purpose of marriage it's often difficult to connect these good women with good brothers if the family & friends won't step in and help make that connection.
So yes I agree with u saintly women are unseen by brother but not cause we don't want them. It's cause we don't find them.
@@yassino.9064 yes brother but remember we should always strive to find a good wife
@@Muslim-87 100% 👍
You let your wife know when you’re going to be home so she knows “when to serve dinner and to keep everything warm”…?
Ok so as a woman who has been married for 7 years, Alhamdulilah. As a woman who firmly believes in gender roles and respecting my husband, I find that totally belittling and disrespectful. Does my husband need to ask for my permission to go out? No. But when he communicates to me that he will be going out or that he will be running late, it’s out of respect and to keep the lines of communication open. And with that being said, he is 100% the head of the household and I have the upmost respect for him and it’s the things like that which allow our marriage to remain healthy and respect to grow.
As far as your finance comment is concerned, again it’s not about getting “approval from mommy,” as you put it. It’s about having healthy communication with your partner. There are also men that spend irresponsibly. Just because you have the money doesn’t mean you have to blow it.
"There is alot of passive muslim men, and it is a problem", so is bro saying aggressive muslim men is the answer. Because thats a whole other argument in itself. I would never raise a hand to my wife, she is the person Allah wrote my next to.
aggression and being responsible is different
@@chriss2452 Men are supposed to lead, but the wife should be able to give input. If she can't then she is still a girl and not a woman. And she cant expect her husband to be like her daddy lmao.
@@chriss2452 Men are supposed to lead, but the wife should be able to give input on decisions and talk with her spouse. She can't expect her husband to be like her dad like the girl in that video wants.
@@chriss2452 Works both ways, muslim guys aren't allowed to talk to girls either, so does every guy assume the girl they marry will be like their mother. Get to know eachother through the meetings you have before the nikkah, and also during the marriage. A girl can't expect the guy to be like her dad, she ain't getting adopted, she's getting married.
@@chriss2452I’m a Muslims woman and I would rather die than get a husband like my dad! Some women come from abusive households especially my dad used to beat me very often as he was the only one who raised me and my brother! He was what people would call “A masculine figure” coz he’s very aggressive and assertive individual, he’s the leader of the house and in his job too! I’ve so rarely seen any kindness/mercy from him! Regardless I’m now 19 and I moved out when I was 18 I haven’t called my dad for almost a year! He still asks my mom and brothers about how I am! I still suffer from how he treated me and I despise talking to him! So I’m summary women do need masculine men who can lead but when you remove mercy/kindness and love from the masculine frame then it’s becomes toxic and no woman would like that! Smile be happy, having an angry face all day does NOT make you masculine it makes you toxic and people don’t enjoy being around you! Now my dad wonders why I don’t like him anymore! May Allah give me the strength to be respectful to my parents I know I have a duty towards them however living with my dad has made me hate MEN in general and now I understand why a lot of women become “feminists” because sometimes you are left with no choice 😢
There is nothing wrong with my husband informing or even asking “ from me on where his going or doing especially when there are children involved or if I’m pregnant perhaps I need his help for something or the time isn’t convenient. It goes both ways ……Communication. It’s as if women should just shutup be obedient and follow the husband. That’s not teamwork nor partnership.
It’s as if women should shut up and be obedient? Because that’s exactly what this guy( and many Muslims in the comments) are saying. Why? Quran says so 🤷🏼♀️
@@matthenley3886 the Quran doesn’t say that at all, couldn’t be further from the truth
@@mizzgoodie123 It’s not my beliefs but it’s how these guys interpret it, “what’s wrong with a woman obeying her husband”, ‘a woman who obeys her husband will go to jannah’. Allah created woman this way as a test against men and if you allow a woman to be disobedient then she will end up controlling you. Read the comments and you’ll find *many* people supporting this nonsense 😢
@@adib7828 What you’re saying doesn’t make any sense. Could you explain what you mean please
@@adib7828 Sorry but I still don’t understand what you mean or what you’re asking?
Assalamu Alaikum,
Your videos do make sense to me, but there's a thing I wish to ask. I don't know, but dominant men never had an appeal to me. I would prefer a man who's softer, and kinder. Not someone I control or dominate, but someone who is sweet and at times vulnerable with me.
Is this wrong of me? As it's not 'masculine' in nature?
Yes this is wrong, Men are the head of the Household, how is this dynamic possible here?
Brother why are you so serious? It was probably a joke from the homies or he was just letting here now so she don't get worried or maybe they have kids and he just wanted to cheek if she needed him. You don't know what happened. Smile a bit bro :)
No because jokes like these makes other men think it's a normal behaviour and thus create a bigger problem
I’m not saying I’m an #AlphaMale but I definitely have that mentality and yes I’m deeply in love with my brother who I think of (in my mind) as my own blood, in ways, brother #AbuAndrewTate . But Islam not only teaches men the #AlphaMale mentality but also that the wives have haqq (rights) over them.
Brothers. Brothers. My brothers. Do not forget that the adhaab (punishment) doesn’t begin in the qabr (grave). It begins when Malik-ul-maut shows up. Perhaps for many, even before Malik-ul-maut shows up.
Then the qabr
Then maidaan ul hashr (where we will stand for judgement day)
Then jahannam
Some people, the bridge of siraat will not break on or will not just break on…. Rather their will be hooks that’ll erect out of jahannam (hell) and pull them off of the bridge of siraat.
Is it worth it?? Torturing the weaker mahlooq (creation) (referring to the women folk) of Allah ???
Yeah what is she going to do….?? She’s just a woman ….. what about what Allah will do….
yeah bro i want to see the video on gender roles
Imagine what kind of next generation these …….are gonna grow.
A generation of Muslim/Muslimahs that both feels seen and heard in their marriages? Oh no, never that!😮
Omg
I have a question. Where he says that women love dominance I don’t agree. Don’t get me wrong, some women do, but as a Muslim women myself, I don’t dream of a husband who is dominant, the way I see things is we can both take care of things equally if we can. Please correct me if my opinion is wrong because I’d like to know if that is okay, in Islam of course.
That is your preference. Personally I don’t like dominant men either. Luckily there isn’t just one type of men.
Depends on what either of you mean
If you want Men who are inferior to you
Then this Haram as the Man is the head of the household
Tbh there is a difference between asking and informing. You should inform your wife if ur gonna go somewhere or smthn, but ASKING is a bit weird. This is not a means of "men dominating women at all times," but its rather a man has to be the wali/leader/caretaker. Not the women. They don't have that responsibility in Islam :/
(Also as a Muslimah, I agree lol)
Sunan an-Nasa'i 5388
It was narrated that Abu Bakrah said:
"Allah protected me with something that I heard from the Messenger of Allah [SAW]. When Chosroes died, he said: 'Whom have they appointed as his successor?' They said: 'His daughter.' He said: 'No people will ever prosper who entrust their leadership to a woman.'"
When did Faiyad become an extremist
I'm 0:54 seconds in. If I was in a relationship I probably wouldn't ask anyone for permission. I would inform my wife what I'm going to do and ask if she's going to be okay whilst I'm away for a bit
Quick question, is being child free haram?
No it’s not 😂 even not getting married is not haram! However it’s highly encouraged since in a Hadith the prophet said “Get married, have children, as much as possible, for on the Day of Judgment, I shall boast in front of other nations at the number of children that you have given birth to”
And everyone is different nobody should be forced to either have kids or get married! A well renowned scholar known as “ibn taymiyyah never got married nor had any kids” so it really depends on your situation ! ❤
@@nami20622 I understand the Hadith part but it’s just my mental health and the environment is not good enough to raise kids. Sometimes I have double thoughts either to be a good partner or not have kids
If it works for them, and it's not Haram , then mind your business akhi
It was narrated that Ash'ath bin Qais said: "I was a guest (at the home) of 'Umar one night, and in the middle of the night he went and hit his wife, and I separated them. When he went to bed he said to me: 'O Ash'ath, learn from me something that I heard from the Messenger of Allah" A man should not be asked why he beats his wife, and do not go to sleep until you have prayed the Witr."' And I forgot the third thing." (Hasan)
Sunan Ibn Majah 3:9:1986
#Podcast
It's true that the clip wasn't very serious. The guy was only informing his wife and video was for entertainment purpose, but what faiyad said is also an issue in many falimies (From personal exp)
That doesn't mean I haven't seen womans being tortured by men.
Inspired by mahdi tidjani
My question to the brother is that's sister said she wants man to lead how do we know the man was trying to lead but constantly challenged by the wife in every decision making just not one way streak sometimes sisters dont wana listern even if his masculine man always looking argument
I disagree with the fact about finances for a reason that the husband can be committing interest like what happens in dubai also what ever between husband and wife is no one's business except for Allah remember khadija supported the prophet may Allah guide all. Of us
we can so tell that youre not married this is so funny ;) brother when you are married all kind of power and control games dont exist and if they do then you have a huge problem. ask every single married man how to achieve happiness in marriage and listen carefully to their answer instead of hoping online and talking nonsense about women like have you ever really talked to one? cause wtf my guy you have a weird view of women
8:38 'Women want a guy that just 'gets it' whilst being covert about it.
In a marriage decision making should be equal firstly i don't agree with a man just neglecting his wife all in the name of going out with friends but at the same time he shouldn't need permission to go out when they don't have a plan to spend time together but what truly matters is that he should be allowed to spend time with his friend while still not neglecting his wife. my point of view pls correct.
#podcast
Here’s how I see this.
As the husband, you’re the one in charge of what you do.
I’m not the man, I don’t need to give you permission (as long as you’re not doing anything haram). Of course, letting me know where you’re at/going is diff. Like if you’re going somewhere, lmk so I won’t worry abt you, yk?
Astaghfirullah hal 'azim al lazi laa ilaha illa huwal hayyul qayyum wa atubu ilaih💖
“Our Lord! Grant unto us spouses and offspring who will be the coolness of our eyes.” (25:74),ameen
Saying that Muslim women are inherently hardwired to “castrate” men and that they can’t help it is a really harmful statement to say about Muslim sisters/women in general. I agree that men are our providers and protectors and that we should respect our husband’s status as wali, but there is no harm with a man informing his wife on where he goes and seeking if she is pleased with it, especially if he is out during the night or if she needs him for a task. Marriage is not as black and white as you think, and healthy marriages are harmonious where both husband and wife cater to each others needs. What’s wrong with quelling your wife’s worries? I understand when it gets too much and too controlling, as this issue can apply to both men and women in a marriage, controlling behavior is not healthy. Despite this, it seems like you have your own assumptions about the mentality of women in general, disregarding the fact that we are different, unique individuals and NOT a monolith. You claim women can’t understand men, I agree, Allah SWT has made us different and a man knows another man better. But don’t disregard this fact when it comes to women, as you don’t know our minds or our thoughts. So to generalize with such an ignorant statement is harmful brother. It also is rude to women who follow and are dutiful to their husbands by considering them as such. We must have compassion and understanding with each other. The same way many women sadly generalize men with being useless or abusers, the same way many men sadly generalize women with being brainwashed feminists out to “castrate” them and ruin their masculinity, astagfirullah. Such nonsense should not be practiced by Muslims, and it should not be spread as a way to “educate”, stereotypes and assumptions do not educate. Only you will know your spouse at the end of the day, no matter how many “brotherhood” channels you watch, no matter what advice they think they have a right to give no matter its contents, it’s always better to learn the deen, seek out reputable scholars of Islam and apply what Allah SWT has told you first. Viewer, do NOT allow the misdeeds/sins of the men and women in your life/around you to facilitate your view on men/women in general, especially towards those you don’t know. Always assume the best of other Muslims, and judge kindly by what’s apparent. May Allah SWT be pleased with us all.
I don't understand if man dont tell nothing his wife or women dont anything her husband why there married ?