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My own experience, I married my husband when he was a student in his final year. Our nikkah was simple yet elegant and nice with 30 people having a lovely dinner. I asked my husband for something very manageable as a mahr and wallahi we’ve become rich day by day financially as well as emotionally and spiritually. Good intentions and reasonable expectations and expenses will lead to barakah inshallah 🤲🏽
You do realise the point of the wedding is to show the community you are married, who told you having few guests is good? we are Muslims not non Muslims
@@miladprive5163 - May Allah Almighty Send His Endless Mercies and Endless Blessings On Our Beloved, Holy, Honourable, And Respectable Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu'alaihi'wa'alaihi'wa'ssallam) and also Send His Endless Mercies and Endless Blessings On His Beloved,. Honourable, Respectable, and Pure Ahl Al-Bayt (Alahisalam). Ameen. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀 May Allah grant us their intercession on the day of Qiyammah. Ameen. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀
In my culture if the girl doesn’t ask for a good amount of mahr the guy’s family will think she is desperate to get married and this brings down her value. What a corrupt society
I think it depends on the family you are from; I said to my husband give me what you can afford. Why make someone go broke, especially when you will be living with them.
@@FaiyadFit 100%, that’s what I meant; like if you are from a family that bought you up with Islamic values then you won’t ask for ridiculous amounts. Either way you have to pay zakat on the gold or the money once you’ve had it for 1 year. I doubt these girls asking for huge amounts will even know/do that.
I think regardless of the family the person may come from doesn't matter. It's ridiculous how muslim women ask for so much money, gold, buying them a house or a very expensive car. At the end of the day you're not marrying someone for their money, but out of love for Allah.
In my situation: I told him not to do a wedding and just set up our apartment well. No extra expenses. No honeymoon unless he wanted that. I did ask for a mehr I thought was reasonable, my husband said he would’ve given me more. At the end of the day asking for a lot would’ve meant we started on the wrong foot in my opinion
That worked well for you, alhamdulillah Every brother is different. Some sisters ask for less and they get taken advantage off. These brothers go around and marry and divorce in secret and ruin women. One imam advised never to be modest with mahr, that men value that woman that they work hard for.
a female should only ask for 3 month minimum wage salary at most. So that it can survive without depending on the man should he refuse to pay for essentials during 3 months period after divorce. So around 4-10k is reasonable.
@@Zazezoo The females that ask for wealth will get it and receive nothing else and it will enter the hellfire along with the wealth that it want so much.
@@FaiyadFiti hope thats a joke since you are someone with a huge community and young brothers are watching you. Don’t come with the „but that’s islamically okay“-argument. Sometimes you need a basement of synapses in order to understand complex concepts
@@lolaandlila2454 I'll put forth the argument that the lack of men to women, multiple wives is a beautiful gift Allah has given for both men and women alhamdulillah the west has shamed us to think negatively about our islamic position on this matter and we should look at the reward and protection that comes with having this blessing Allah has given us Muslims inshaaAllah education on the responsibility is the way we move forward in bettering our Muslim community, not spreading a shame that isn't islamic inshaaAllah
@@suhaibsuhaib5947 I don’t wanna live on this planet anymore I say an alien or some E.T in space throw an asteroid or a comet I’m ready for it In fact I’m asking for it
As a man who is capable of paying those high mahrs, I would never do it out of principle and respect for myself. You can't be a man of honour if you have to pay your wife exorbitant amounts of money just for her to be with you and you'll never view yourself the same again.
It’s her right, and you can choose a woman who will ask for whatever you are comfortable with. You seem too controlling, what’s the issue if you can afford? You can’t judge these sisters over UA-cam video. They could be better Muslims than you and I. Perhaps they’ll Invest in that mahr, so they never have to work. we don’t know their intention/ plans… etc
I personally know a woman who asked for 100 $ for her mahr , her husband and her are a great couple , married with 2 children , very feminine and beautiful , its all about what's on her mind and her approach to the marriage , she cared about the family and marriage aspect and building a future with her desired husband . Any woman making it hard is not worth it , because she's not in it for the long term , a woman's love is unique , she will make it easier on you and you fill find peace with her . These high mahr women vet them and do not comply to these outrageous amounts , DO NOT SIMP ! LEARN TO WALK AWAY !
This is the truth. You need to learn to walk away. Personally know an uncle that burned over 100k at his son’s wedding just so they can divorce a few weeks later.
I have seen it all here in Australia. Mahr with a fully paid off AMG, an investment property in the brides name + $50k cash on top, crypto currency etc 😅 They get very competitive with the wedding celebrations too. Trying to out do the last one. Expensive venues and entertainment. It’s all about status. So many guys and their families go into debt just to show off in front of the community.
@@FaiyadFit in india females parents go in dept paying dowry that men ask for ...its absurd too....and meher here is not even a problem but dowry which males side of family want is leading to crimes like people have literally burned a newly wed women becausly her parents gave less dowry ........its too opposite here
100k mahr, no problem ukhti send me your bank details so I can transfer the money over inshaAllah, you want a lambo urus aswell or what about a rolls royce😆 #fairytale
Me and my husband really had nothing , we agreed that he don't have to give anything. Now years later he gave me everything i am a stay home mom and we have our beautiful boy and i am pregnant from our second boy 🎉 Alhamdoullilah i am a happy wife 26 years old and money means nothing to me we just need basic things nothing luxe
The point of paying the wife a sum amount is so that if the husband die the children can at least survive for a period of time. If you follow the law of divorce that say the husband have to pay for at least a month worth and at most 3 months worth to ensure no child or the paternity of the child after divorce then 1-3 months salary is perfectly acceptable. Also the reason why females cant initiate divorce but he man can at any time without any reason.
@@jess13133 Women can divorce their husbands, what are you chatting about? An example of this happening is when Thabit Ibn Qays' wife divorced him (Hadith reference Sunan an-Nasa'i 3463?)
When one accept to pay ridiculous amount of money, its a green flag for her to treat him like a peason. The relationship would more of "give" and "take" and at some point, she will be bore of the materialism and leave, leaving the poor guy with debts and broken back
You are right on most part BUT the mahr is not to be minimised either. I saw women asking just for a symbolic 2$ for mahr when the husbands had decent earnings. This does not make sense. There needs to be a balance. ALSO very important but the value of money BACK THEN is not the same value as of RIGHT NOW. In UK for exemple back then you could do a lot of things with 20£ but you can not do much with 20£ today. So you might not have the correct estimation of what 12 Uqiyah was.
Bro, can you make a video discussing weddings? Like culturally we’re expected to throw a big wedding party with music and dancing, but that’s haram. Pls make a vid discussing this cultural taboo.
Nobody is going to stand in for your choices on the day of judgement. You need to understand whom you love more Allah or those who expect haram things from you. I did my nikah and walima with one months salary for all expenses in my sisters home. My grandfather supported my decision. I had 25 close relatives for my marriage. Every one warned me of dire social consequences. My friends disappeared for almost a year. My own parents would treat me with distance. I was happy though. I treated every one well despite their behavior. Today it's been 30 years they have forgotten their behavior I have forgiven theirs and I thanked Allah for a wonderful start to my married life and continue to do so. Just think today's world accepts girlfriends accepts zina accepts zina of eye. Why do you feel the world should expect you to do your share of haram that too knowingly. ??!! The world will lead you astray. That is why we Muslims are being butchered in millions and rendered homeless because we love haram of duniya in the end we get neither the duniya nor the hereafter.
@@FaiyadFit in Arab and desi cultures, once the Islamic nikkah has been done, we’re usually expected to throw a big wedding party with dabke, dancing, etc. many times it’s weird to not have a big wedding party. And the prophet PBUH encouraged us to have small modest weddings. And of course, these weddings are haram since they have free mixing and music. So please touch up on that.
I am from Sudan, but I was born in and lived a great deal of life in Saudi. You would be surprised if I told that the mahr in both Saudi and Sudan is ridiculously high. Even though most people are not financilly well-off, especially young men. It is has become so absurd that most of people are just not married. Some even reach their thirties and fourties and are still unmarried.
Not surprised. The only difference between us westerners and the Muslims in the Middle East is that their lands are homes to the holy sites and that’s that. Other than that, there’s scarily too much in common.
Our parents (Allah bless them) had us request Fatimah Mahr which was not very much, but now in hindsight they realise they may have miscalculated as it’s not just about monetary inflation. Anyways when girls family do things with humility, it’s important guys also don’t take advantage too. Alhumdolilah so glad we have a mother who has helped guide us beyond belief. Always reminding us about the importance of attaining Allah Ta’alas barakah more than anything when it comes to husband’s finances. And I guess my father felt it was his duty to provide and keep his daughters content so that they didn’t go into another household with ‘hungry eyes’ and a hand that wants to take. Finances are relative to one’s needs, spending and wants. Yes it would be nice to have x y z but it’s not be all end all. Love and cherish relations over material wealth and life passes by very happily. (And btw maintaining beautiful relations esp with one’s parents is one of the barakah that many still don’t understand gets you places in this life)
Wonderful message sis, may Allah keep us pure. I loved the point about your father giving you so you don’t feel deprived in the future and greedy. Allahumma barik may Allah reward him.
My mother mahr was 90k exactly! And she deserves it she came from a rich family so she needed to continue on her same lifestyle. My mother's father never wanted to let my mother marry a poor man and that was a great decision.
the Prophet SAW said in a hadith that Qiyamah will not come untill the ummah immitate the non believers and look what's happening now muslim women demanding 100k in mahr in the west? may Allah SWT protect us all
@@FaiyadFitwallahi i don't know if it's the same hadith but i did read that he (SAW) said that Qiyamah will not come untill tall buildings were to be built and they would be in competition with each other and look at places like Dubai and Saudi Arabia they build tall builldings for no reason and in Saudithey build hindu temple for these idol worsippers Astaghfirullah
@@FaiyadFitI think, but not sure there was a hadith relating the Believers would be treated like animals Basically everything happening to the UYGHURS can be seen when people treat animals with cruelty But its even worse
Salam Alaikum, brother. Good video, as always. My request is you do a video on domestic abuse that goes on in some marriages. There are some Muslim men who beat the wives very hard for no reason and these women are obedient. This happens and needs to be talked about... I have witnessed this. I haven't seen many Muslims speak on this issue. This has me very angry and upset. This type of abuse is not permitted. These are good women who get treated badly. Please speak on this.
in india, the girl has to give dowry to the guy to get married and those demands are like a lengthy list and not just that but an expensive wedding so that they can brag about it. But when it comes to mahr [in the city where i live] the guys family would determine the mahr which quite lesser than what they've demanded. i have seen cases where the groom's family cancelling the wedding bc they didn't give what they wanted and treating the girl badly and shaming her for not bringing enough dowry. may Allah guide us all.
Brother fayyad, as a muslimah I really appreciate all your videos for the way they are very balanced and unbiased. I have however experienced Muslimahs in the US asking huge amounts too. One of my close relative is also constantly asked to bring more money from home so they can buy 1000s of dollars of house or expensive holiday or car when they just married. But then we have the exact opposite situation in the south Asian nations where women are barely given mahr that averages upto 100 to 500 dollars which would always be just 3 % of what they spent on the wedding. Instead the girl's father is made to spend on expensive weddings and huge number of guests. And many women aren't even given their mahr until much later in life. And some even die by that time and are expected to forgive it completely as a sign of love got the spouse
@jamila442 Unfortunately it is true. The father even takes huge amounts of loan to pay for his daughter's wedding and is many times also expected to look after the delivery expenses of the first baby and throw a huge party again. At the end of it all, not only exhaust all of their life savings but are also forced to borrow money from others just to save the dignity of their family and his daughter's marriage.
Well, my marriages have been very short lived because I was that sister who asked for very little mahr. I really tried to make marriage easy, however, brothers only value sisters whom they work hard for. Unfortunately, these sisters have set their bar high to secure their future with advantage taking Muslim men. These are the sisters who won’t be divorced the next day after nikah, because they will be their husbands investments. Their husbands will fear loosing them considering they’ve spent so much money on them. I would advise younger sisters not to be extreme, but not to be modest either when it comes to mahar. Whatever a sister is comfortable with, let her ask, mahr is our rights. You cannot shame sisters for asking for mahr, when Allah made it permissible for us to request whatever we wish, unless it’s Haram. Brothers don’t have to marry them if they don’t agree with the mahr. Though I know these sisters will get men who value them. I’m a sister who’s been married multiple times and I wouldn’t wish my experience on anyone, so go ask for your mahrs and don’t be ashamed sisters. All I can add is fear Allah brothers and sisters, we’ll be questioned regarding everything we do and say.
I appreciate the addition of that last sentence. Advising sisters to make getting married harder than it already is by increasing their mahr for no good reason is something you will be questioned about. I don't know your circumstances, but I can guarantee you, whatever the reasons are for your multiple divorces, it definitely wasn't because of the amount of the mahr.
@LMNM800💀💀 Ur completely wrong… I dont see many men just leaving there women lol.. Also why u saying “superficially” women as “aware of their right “ ?? They r delusional The most middle path is being considered if the women like him she will make adjustments
As a guy, I assure you that youre completely wrong. If you ask for a high mahr the guy would have resentment towards you for a very long time, maybe even forever (speaking based on personal experience). And this is what scholars say as well, as the brother mentioned in the video. So, no, you don’t understand male psychology better than males do, or big ulema do. Your marriage might have been short lived for many different reasons, not necessarily for asking for a low mahr.
@@thatpakiguy3445 if you don't mind me asking, why? (im just genuinely curious when i ask because i want to understand more) what do you mean by resentment.
No hate but is 20k/30k that much? I am not even from USA amd i believe it's pretty standard amount. I didn't care for my mehr, compromise many many things for the sake of Allah, but you know what? People think you're weak if you're kind. Anyway, the guy never took the responsibility and used to tell me I am my father's responsibility. And later he divorced me. I wanted it too. But he sent the letter just like this is nothing.
Mahr Fatimi’ refers to a Mahr arrangement inspired by the dowry stipulated by Prophet Muhammad ﷺ for Ali RA, to give to Fatima RA, upon her marriage to him. The commonly mentioned amount for the Mahr Fatimi is 480 dirhams, although opinions may differ.
Alhumdulillah, I accepted Mahr Fatimi from my husband some years back. Alhumdulillah he did gift me some additional items of his choice. Sis, make the marriage easy especially if you like the guy! The blessings will come from being easygoing inshaAllah. Mahr does not mean your worth as a woman and whatever the average man can afford as mahr will never be enough to protect a woman if the marriage fails tbh. The most beautiful and long-lasting marriages start with being kind and understanding, and not putting pressure on your spouse.
I like how you were thinking sister but did u convert the 480 dirham to our time? Because 480 dirham would a nice amount in the prophets but, forgive me if it sounds rude, 480 isn't a lot of worth in this day and age. Maybe money wasn't your goal but I also think we need to account the time period we are in rn to choose Mehr
What entitlement dude?? Its THEIR right given to THEM by God. Also even if they do say things like these, in the end there are always mahr negotiations b/w their spouse and them. Not to mention MAHR is of two types; you can pay all at once OR slowly to them. I am not justifying like a 100K mahr but if she wants 10K, its not unreasonable, not to mention a good mahr is the one you have atleast a little difficulty paying. YOU want her to take care of you, top to bottom, possibly your parents BUT wont give them a right to a mahr of their choosing? If these things were undesirable or makrooh it would NOT have been permissible.
In Islam woman has the right to demand any amount of mehr....so who are you to judge ? A woman actually objected to Caliphs Umar, when He tried to tell women to not ask for much mahr...
@@FaiyadFit it’s enough to make a man feel like because he worked hard for that money so he has to make the marriage work, on the other hand paying 500 seems disposable unless the guy is planning to have more than one wife. But ideally maybe 10-15k
@@kasimtime8478bro when will yall learn that meher wont stop a man from a divorce be a good wife and you wont worry. if this logic worked the western men would not leave their disrespectful woman even though they lose 50%of their assets,children,have to pay aligmony for life😂
@@suhaibsuhaib5947 it’s not the money it’s the intent of why he got the money if guys had to spend 30k on first dates I’m pretty sure it’ll incentivize them to get something out of it
@@FaiyadFit "And give the women their gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease" Quran 4:4.
lol so a woman is entitled for wanting a high mahr but a man isn't entitled when he wants more than one wife? The most important thing is that whatever she wants is within that man's means and it does not cause a financial strain on him. If he makes $1 million then $20k is nothing for him. Is it unrealistic for her to get married to a millionaire? Yes? But are they entitled? Nope :) The hadith that you quoted is talking about the FATHERS increasing their daughter's mahr, it didn't say anything about her increasing her mahr about the wives, daughters. and mothers of the Prophets (PBUT). Mahr is literally what the woman desires and the only contingency is that it is within that man's means, not the average man's mean. What is the difference from scrutinizing women for the mahr that they want and women scrutinizing men for wanting more than one wife?
Yes but you gotta remember the prophet SAW even said the less Mahr the better and it has more blessings, Muslims now a days do not do that, they think they are better and deserve it all when really they are all corrupt, the prophets wives and daughters didn’t even ask for that much, who do these girls think they are you see these Muslim girls doing the complete opposite all they care about is there Own desires money Beautifying/displaying themselves and imitating disbelievers we see it all in our eyes! Nobody Deserves Any Mahr that was listed in this video that is Absolutely Pathetic and ridiculous!
@@jamila442 sure, but I believe love comes after being in contact with someone for an extended period of time. There are exceptions for some people though.
It's the same thing down here in Australia akhi. It's all talk. They say they want a man like the Prophet(saw), but when it comes to the crunch, they want someone who can spoil them like Kanye did for Kim. Like habibti, you're marrying Abdul from the local kebab shop. And what makes it worse, you got sisters who have social media accounts, who have 5,10, 20k+ followers, of both men and women.. and no doubt they're getting DMs left and right, and because of that, it's creating egos that are inflated beyond belief. Not to mention the doors of making her mahram and future husband as dayooths. Crazy times we living in now. The non-muslim women have more grasp of financial reality and expectations than our sisters do.
May Allah protect us. Absolutely spot on. I’m sure you’ve seen some good sisters in AUS tho right? Every time I come down near lakemba or bankstown I’m pretty disappointed at the state of modern Muslims myself. Stay safe!
@FaiyadFit I'm down in Melbourne, scenes aren't as hectic as you see in Lakemba or Bankstown, but you'll find it if you're looking for it. Regardless of where you are, there are men out there who wish to get married, but can't find a sister to get married to, especially one on Deen or one who wishes to marry like that of the Sunnah.
Great video keep it up you're doing amazing things also Muslims need to learn about story of Ali RA when he got married to prophet Muhammad beloved daughter may Allah make it easy for all of us ameen 🙏
@@FaiyadFit If you marry blessed brother the money will come as Allah bless marriage with people who fear Allah as Ali RA from being one of the poor people in people in the time of prophet Muhammad later in life was caliph of the Muslims and had 32 kids and many wives after Fatima RA returned with Allah and her beloved father prophet Muhammad this show's the real mahr from a point of view is getting married to great Muslim as that Muslim will rise great Muslims and does kids and grandchildren will change the Muslim world for the sake of Allah.
You can blame culture/parents for this. Believe me, we wouldn’t care if the pressure wasn’t pushed on us. They’ve made us feel as though the mehr amount is equivalent to the value of the girl.
I am 25 years old and seeing this makes me come to the conclusion of not wanting a woman even more. Ima stay single my whole life as i am not worried about Zina, may Allah ( الله سُبْحَانَهُۥ وَتَعَالَىٰ ) protect us. The West has the audacity to call women oppressed in Islam. Glory to Allah ( الله سُبْحَانَهُۥ وَتَعَالَىٰ ) that i am not desperate and may He keep me away from greedy women. May Allah ( الله سُبْحَانَهُۥ وَتَعَالَىٰ ) help brothers who are desperate for marriage but cannot due to financial problems.
Don’t be black pilled and get married chief. Good women exist and you can find them in the west. Allah can give you from sources you’ve never imagined.
@@FaiyadFit Marrlage is a massive scam in the west. Most the wmn out here aren't even desirable. It might be worth it in some poor and impoverished country where they can't afford to be so absurd and demanding.
@@FaiyadFitI think he doesn't want to be just like any man But its starting to become unmanageable And this is for the brothers with degrees. Imagine those who DON'T have degrees They are just screwed it seems
@@ryojs4286 not true, as long as the brother is resourceful and shows that he's always actively looking for opportunities then Insha’Allah he will find a good wife. My friend got married and they started with nothing but now Allahumabarik they're finding themselves. May Allah bless their union and grant them all their heart desires that is Khayr Ameen. If a sister is saying no to you because of no degree then maybe keep looking..a lot of our shuyukh had humble jobs in addition to spreading knowledge, may Allah bless them Ameen. There are still humble and gems of women, just gotta approach it correctly or ask help from those that are in good marriages (may Allah bless everyone's marriage Ameen) and those that are trustworthy.
As a Muslim woman, I do not require a mahr or any material possessions from my future husband. My desire is for a partner who will treat me with respect as his wife and provide for our household. I have sought advice from elder women who are happily married and believe that a successful marriage requires mutual satisfaction and longevity. It is important to me that my husband feels appreciated and respected. I am seeking advice from happy couples in hopes of finding a righteous spouse. Please make a dua for me in this endeavor.
As a muslim woman, what really bothers me is that it really seems like the woman forgot something: If you want to annul your marriage, you have to give the mahr back. How are you supposed to do that with $100k? Not spend it? I am so confused about a high mahr. On top of being contrary to the sunnah.
Inflation also applies to mahr 😂, if you can’t afford her mahr don’t marry her and move on go make some money instead of complaining that’s so sad that men attack women for a right that Allah literally gave them. Go make the bucks if you want to provide for a family
Dont lie to this poor brothers if you cant afford her meher move on dont go and try to become Jeff bezos to pay 500k meher for the next girl instead go find a woman that is acctually attracted to you and wants you to marry her not buy her,my uncle is a attractive man and his wife literly ran away with him when her father said no just cuz he is a hot guy,high meher =i dont want you😂
thank you for another amazing video bro, there are insane people who demand higher rate of mahr, even higher than 200k!! plus, i'd really appreciate it if u make a video on how bad and filthy it is to listen to music, and a lot of muslims are struggling with quitting music. jazakallah.
It’s important to not get disheartened, for the Muslim brothers. A lot of Muslim sisters speak like this jokingly, when push comes to shove, and they find a man they like, they won’t be asking for that much 😂
Honestly, I think you guys are partly to blame for this. Here me out, when you use language surrounding mehr like “worth” like “you’re not worth that”, as if the mehr value is an equivalent to her value. When women hear men have different mehr standards for different women. Women start to then feel like they’re disrespecting and cheapening themselves by asking for little.
It is not true that many men set a specific dowry for all women, it does not matter if they are beautiful or not, and it is known in religion that the one with the least dowry is the most blessed, because he is a man looking for a married life. If a woman thinks about luxury matters, she is not prepared for marriage and does not have the qualities of a wife.
@@FaiyadFit the more barriers put onto halal, the more it's gonna become resentful. A woman who has mercy for his man and thinks about charity for the poor, is a keeper for sure. Of course it'll outdo a high mahr marriage (regardless of the fact people can afford it or not).
@@FaiyadFitwallah it always ends bad even if i was a millionare i would feel bad for exampel if my wife divorced me and married a poor guy for 3k meher while i the rich dude payed 200k i would feel like she loved him more
@wonderer2632 I think a really good wisdom behind Mehr is using it as a tool to gage if a woman will be a good wife or not depending on how much she feels entitles to ask
Made a video on this on my channel (red flags to look for in Muslim women). Funny enough, got called the female Faiyadfit. Major point I made, just because something is halal doesn’t mean it’s wise. End of story.
Women who value money to that extent are for men who value money to that extent. They often (not always) end up miserable together because they both have deep-rooted issues and don't value deen over dunya. You have to understand that every man who married a woman like these sisters could have easily married a poor woman and paid less. Men are paying a premium to marry the type of women they think they want and then regretting it later when they have to actually live with her and deal with her character. At the same time, the women are demanding high numbers because they think men with more money are better men and that a willingness to pay that much proves his love for her. Then they have to live with these men, and they are also displeased with his character.
Quick question brother, isnt the mahr also supposed to be a protection for the woman just in case the husband divorces her? Or is that a different thing??
No it shouldn’t be used like that. It’s supposed to be a gift for the soon to be wife. Plus: in my opinion, it doesn’t make sense because you’re coming into this marriage already thinking about what you’re gonna do when you get divorced…
Why doesn't anyone criticize a phenomenon where men from this particular country (yes, it's only from one particular country, guys!!!) some of them (if not most) have the SAME MENTALITY where they want to have a wife from abroad, rumors have said that women from their own country require high dowries. But the problem is, they want their future wife to come to their country to then be married by a priest. Not only that, they also don't want to learn English/Arabic as a bridge for communication, but expect that their future wife will have to learn their language. I hope big influencers like you can open men's minds from this particular country to understand how important it is to meet and ask permission from women's guardians, and also to make women be aware not to take things easy on themselves in ways that are not in accordance with the Shari'a like this.😢😢
Assalamu alikum bro i am 16 and i didnt know about this situation untill now. imagine what will be the situation of mahr in 2030🫡. Jazkallah khairan for giving insights on this situation.
i dont know why we have this false idea that high monetary value = being a high-value woman, it's the opposite in fact because nothing is worse than attributing your worth to money/the material world. money does not at all come near character and values. demanding high Mahr is like shooting yourself in the foot; if the amount is so much that it makes him struggle financially afterwards, you will also struggle as you made it difficult for him to provide for YOU.
@@FaiyadFit It was discussed between my family and his and I agreed. My mama said "there are girls with thousands in Mehr and still cannot build a family... Allah will bless you with much more, but more importantly, with a good husband". I will not lie, I would have loved to have more (more the better 😅)... maybe because of the same issue other girls are having: valuing myself as a woman based on the number a man pays for me. But, thanks to Allah, I am able to differ a dream or a fairytale from reality. Now, I don't even think about it. He is gem of a man with a heart of gold and immense respect and love for me, and we are already expecting our first son in September.
@@n.m.9938 May Allah reconcile your mirage, and protect your husband, and your mother, and father. Your comment really put a very big smile at my face; hope that smile gets you a lot of Hasanat. I really hope that I would be like your husband (or a little downgrade) in the future. It really get me so happy to see a very good family. May Allah protect you. Your son would be probably one of the most luckiest, and the most happiest son ever.
Societies have become more and more materialistic, the influence of post-modernism، you have done well in quoting the Quran and Sunnah in clarifying matters
I told my best friend, i dont want anything for my dowry. I dont have any male muslim family members as im the only muslim in my family. I told my best friend, if the imam decides i HAVE to have a mahr, then ill try to convince him to make the mahr 1 dollar equivalent to whatever currency is related to the nationality of my husband (example; if my husband is bengali, i'd like my mahr to be 1 dollar in whatever his currency is). I dont need extra money, i want my husband. Im not going to marry just for mahr or money, i want to marry for the benefits of Islam and for the love of my husband.
May Allah bless you but it isn’t up to the imam. Islamically a mahr is required and there’s an opinion that stipulates the MINIMUM of a mahr as well so make sure you follow it.
@@FaiyadFit i dont have any male family members that are muslim, so ultimately it comes down to the imam to decide my dowry since i cannot choose how much i want. What's the minimum for a mahr? Can i just deny having a mahr altogether?
@@Oceana2257 sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. It’s what is said after mentioning the name of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. It loosely translates to may Allah send peace and salutations upon him. It is a dua that Allah makes mentions of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم amongst the highest angels
We don't have this problem in America Alhamdulillah. All these demands that the women requested in your video sounds like cryptic language that: translation-"I'm not really into marriage. I'm trying to enjoy my moment."
I commented it on yoir other post. A lot of sisters want a higher mahr because she is afraif of what he will allow himself. When you get something cheap, you treat it cheap. I know that sisters are not products but it comes natural for us to value something more because we needed to sweat for it and needed to put effort into it. The stuff that was easy and cheap to get, often makes us forget their value.
The concept can also work the other way e.g. if something is extremely expensive then you wonder if you’ve got your money’s worth or just overspent on something that is actually cheap. No offence to any woman, but remember the sunnah of Mahr Fatimi. Mahr is not the woman’s worth, we need to get this idea out of our heads. For a man, he would appreciate the woman who didn’t burden him beyond what he could afford and inshaAllah he would respect her as his wife for being easygoing. Men want peace from their wives
There is no women equivalent of paying mahr as far as I know. Does that mean that women inherently won’t value their husbands? Of course not. Even if the mahr is low, a man will still be working to provide for his family throughout the marriage.
@@raphaelnouh1442 Maybe. It is not to measure your worth. But more to make sure that your spouse knows that you don't settle down for nothing. And that ypu expect him to put effort into his responsibilites. An equivalent for low mahr, like you mentioned, might be a man who doesn't exoect much effort and initiative from his future wife She doesn't give you 100% consent that szhe will cut her male friends, that she acknowledges your authority, your sex drive....etc. She just tells you that she knows. But doesn't really seem eager or clear enough to actually DO so. Making the mahr more expensive is a way for women to test how serious he takes his role as a provider and how much effort he plans to put into getting together with her.
@@MuslimMessenger267 not really. Mehr is a gift. It’s not providing for the family or anything. All having a high mehr does is build resentment, and make it harder for marriage to happen.
@@raphaelnouh1442 In a lot of cases, it goes the other way though. As i said, when you get it cheap you might treat it cheap. Some men might falsey start to believe that she will always be fine with zero or the bare minimun, since she was so humble to not expect a high mahr. A lot of men fall into this trap. They believe that they can allow themselves to get lazy or not give 100%, since she is so "masha allah" to NOT expect much from you. A high mahr might mean that he needs to sweat for getting a good wife. And there isn't anything wrong with that as long as not exaggerated.
Do not take them seriously. They are just ''stating'' their ''requirements'' for the heck of it (and maybe for the camera too). They do not mean all those. Women generally speak from a feeling-centric basis and their ''requirements'' will change like the wind. You could tell from their body language and tonality. They are not as entitled as we think they are. Women are agreeable and once you meet these same women in the video for marriage, 90% sure they will tone it down by a lot. Just a realistic take.
Brother, we have to give the woman a mahr we can afford. But we shall not exaggragate. I would give my future wife some stocks/ETFs. And a little bit jewelry to wear. But it has to be reasonable. And affordable.
Southasian muslims mainly Pakistanis also practice the pre Islamic tradition of 'Jahaiz' whereby the brides parents shower gifts to the grooms side and to the groom himself. Items such as furniture, jewellery/watches, clothing, homeware appliances and even expensive vehicles/properties are given. This tradition needs to stop as it is nothing but utter greed! Couples have divorced over this pagan tradition as the husband has not been satisfied with the amount of gifts received. There are many housholds where women have reached thier mid 40s who cannot find a husband because her parents are unable to purchase gifts for any suitable husband.
I think the part of the reason for high mahr is because we are always told "my money is my money and your money is my money" and also because most of us are never taught that mahr is negotiable and has to be affordable for the groom because I know for a fact I wasn't or at least I don't remember I was taught about this and had to found out on my own. Also I heard it was because some girls are to shy to say no to a potential spouse, so they set high mahrs.
Surprisingly my friends were asking about their mahr nd 1 of them was like i wanna 5k ok the. other one said at least i wanna 10k nd it was my turn n i told'm idk more about mahr money inshalah let that day come n they were like where do u wanna go for honeymoon nd i told them i want to go to the hajj nd they were like u r behind u r not upto date u r nd i told to myself what's wrong with the ummah today
May Allah keep you steadfast just be careful bc the prophet saw mentioned that you’re on the religion of your friends. It’s crazy how despite us thinking different we subconsciously let friends influence us.
@@FaiyadFit ameem I always make sure they don't Influence me cuz they like sinning by listening music nd having haram relationships but not most of them r like that
Many of this sisters might not even know the basic fundamental creed of a muslim, the true worth of a woman is her mindset and her ideology, same applies to man.
Being considerate and understanding of my soon to be husbands financial situation I’m only asking for 1k. I had it way higher before but I had to rethink my decision to make it easier for him inshallah. Some women are so unrealistic with mehr it’s embarrassing. Living in a fairytale in their minds
@@FaiyadFit he’s Turkish and I’m American. He’s everything and more I preyed to Allah for. He’s work hard so all I want is to be the best wife to him for the sake of Allah. I know few would say I can get whatever I want but as a new Muslim female what I want the most is a kind loving husband and to be the best wife I can be for him. It’s sad the some just see the pretty thing in don’t see the long gain. To have a person that will love you take care of you in your family. I started looking at your videos when you was with 3 muslim love your content there and here. I know you help men improve their life but what about the women who want to live our live like it should be may Allah keep blessing you and your beautiful family
Jazakallah khair Brother.This is a great video especially the islamic Evidence section you can't argue with that. As a muslimah i agree mehr should not be exaggerated. Sadly it's a online trend amongst our sisters. And the muslim women who ask for less or a reasonable amount of mehr are literally looked down upon by their fellow muslim sisters and called names and referred to as settling for less as if their better than them. in my option i believe this is because we have normalised imitating the non muslims and seeking their validation instead of pleasing Allah and sticking to the quran and sunnah. Therefore things like materialism and feminism have seeped in to our Ummah and corrupted the minds of some sisters. this kind of behaviour is also the reason why many young muslim men resort to things like the red pill and normalise Zina so casually they justify it because sadly many muslim sisters have made it impossible to even find a spouse in this climate of extreme haram , i'm not saying thats the main reason but just a though. This also reminded me about the Newly wedded couples in Gaza i'm pretty sure the muslim sisters in the blessed land are not asking for 50k mhr and extravagant materialistic things. i know we don't live in a occupied land and were not being bombed physically and were not extremely poor even though the people of the blessed land are part of us so them being occupied and slaughtered it affects us. May Allah protect the Ummah and grant us all righteous spouses. Sorry for the long comment.
Women are supposed to give the amount of mehr after finding a man, not before so she can make it based on his wealth, she can ask for any amount don’t get me wrong but it’s unlikely she’ll get married if it’s out of his budget and the prophet said the lower the mehr the better!
Let me ask if you think a wali asking for this is halal or not. As an Egyptian Muslim, there’s a cultural expectation to buy a home and furnish it in order to get her father’s approval. Mehr not included. I kid you not, I couldn’t find a decent home in my area that was affordable without using a mortgage. What happened? I paid $35K to own a piece of the home then $10K in fees to use a mortgage to get the remaining $300K needed. I tried looking for halal lenders and saw that they all are in fact not sharia compliant. So now I’ve dropped $45K to pay off a small piece of the home and get a 30 year mortgage. Of course the home is old on the inside and needs renovations. Floors, bathrooms and the entire kitchen need to be replaced and more. I paid some Egyptian and Palestinian brothers to do the work, so their labor plus materials came around to $50K. I’m happy to give them that money for their effort since they’re part of the community and the work was good. The mehr is $8K USD. In total I spent over $100K+. My parents say “but it’s YOUR house, not your wife’s” yet I feel like this is all mehr in a weird way. Sure she doesn’t own the home but the fact that it’s all a condition to get married is insane. Haven’t even paid for the furniture yet. Crazy wali syndrome where Egyptian fathers think not owning a home or apartment equals you being a failure as a potential husband.
Bro may Allah make it easy on you. All this is pre-Islamic ignorance and nonsense. This isn’t the way. Expecting a man who wants to marry your daughter to go into riba and pay beyond his means. What’s wrong with rent? This is total nonsense and may Allah punish the ones that do this knowingly. Sorry you had to go thru this.
@@FaiyadFitI pointed out how there’s nothing wrong with renting, but they always bring it back to money by saying, “when you rent, you still own no property and the landlord takes all the benefit”. Totally absurd since you can at least save more money while renting, and eventually buy a home in a better situation. Ironically the Wali inherited his home when his father passed. So there was no real hardship for himself to own a home when he had to get married. A lot of Walis had property handed down to them back when Egypt’s economy was stronger. Now if you tell the same Wali to buy an apartment given TODAY’s economic and opportunities, he simply can’t do it but expects YOU to. When you quoted “You cost me everything I own, and cost me a great deal of hardship” I felt like a clown because that has been my mindset the entire time. It cost me all the money I saved up, and the whole process of buying homes and getting my offers rejected, going thru a lender, going thru lawyers, finding and paying people to work on the home sounds like the a great deal of hardship. The whole process took nearly a year of looking for homes, investigating supposedly “halal” lenders, etc. At least if and when I have kids I will make sure they’re not subjected to this nonsense.
My mahr was 5k .. but you’ve motivated me to direct it towards charity, may Allah SWT reward you .. also asked my UK friend hers and she said 40k and I told her mine and her response was don’t cheap yourself sis.
This is absurd. These young girls are all day on social media lusting after the rich or so called rich fake till you make it influencers. They think it’s the norm. They put their value higher than what it is. After the experience of what my brother went through with a gold digger demanding high mahr. My advice is for the brothers to walk away. It is a red flag. These women will ruin your life.
I know as Muslimahs it is our right to name the price of mahr. But what’s the point of receiving a million dollars of mahr asked out greed and pride? It won’t bring barakah. Whereas asking for a reasonable amount without greed and pride will bring more blessings. We shouldn’t forget the main point of mahr. It’s not about showing off or satisfying one’s greed. Ladies who are greedy and materialistic can wait forever until they get old, wrinkly, and gray for someone willing to offer what they ask.
And with that right comes responsibility Imagine if i put my mahr requirements at houses cars and gold and fashion clothes... And then i wonder why i can't get married Modern women delusion
My brother i am 15 and I feel so lost when I watch your videos it makes me wonder about my future I’ve been watching your videos for a while now and i was thinking does the call have to be video and voice or is it possible for me to just message as I don’t know if I’d be comfortable using video or voice idk if this message is weird but I feel like im heading the wrong way in my life and would rather try seek some guidance
He only talks about those women. Like if he told you about the good women in his videos then you think that your future would be bright. So the TL;DR is just ask the good luck from Allah. And have a knowledge of how to make your wife happy, and who wife should you chose, and how to treat your wife, and your Children, and learn them. Like don’t get me wrong it’s not complex and hard. It’s just need knowledge, and it would be so much better to learn from now, since learning is extremely good for any age; no matter of what is it. Btw I'm also 15. 😂❤
Doesn’t matter. This video will paint the true to the Sunnah proper Muslimas in perfect light and only expose these modern western muslimas for their regression in values
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My mahr was €250 and a book and I am very blessed with my husband Alhamdulilah
May Allah bless you and elevate your status sis 😄🌸
Allahumma barik
May Allah bless your union dear sister
Ameen my dear brothers and sister 🤲🏽 May Allah grant everyone a good spouse and knowledge about the Deen. I love and cherish you all.
@@Freetoughts Ameen summa Ameen
Trust me when I say this if she really likes you she would try her best to make the marriage as easy as possible.
Absolutely bro! Have you seen this with people because I have
100%
Nicely put.
Make this one a rule of thumb, brothers.
This is why people get into relationships and make the woman fall in love with them
My own experience, I married my husband when he was a student in his final year. Our nikkah was simple yet elegant and nice with 30 people having a lovely dinner. I asked my husband for something very manageable as a mahr and wallahi we’ve become rich day by day financially as well as emotionally and spiritually. Good intentions and reasonable expectations and expenses will lead to barakah inshallah 🤲🏽
May Allah reward y’all
Girrl, Allahumma Barik❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
May Allah keep your family happy,Ameen😊❤❤
@@SayedaMehjabinaameen
You do realise the point of the wedding is to show the community you are married, who told you having few guests is good? we are Muslims not non Muslims
The least expenses, the more blessings.
Like Fatima zahra with Ali (ra)
Haqq
@@miladprive5163 - May Allah Almighty Send His Endless Mercies and Endless Blessings On Our Beloved, Holy, Honourable, And Respectable Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu'alaihi'wa'alaihi'wa'ssallam) and also Send His Endless Mercies and Endless Blessings On His Beloved,. Honourable, Respectable, and Pure Ahl Al-Bayt (Alahisalam). Ameen. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀 May Allah grant us their intercession on the day of Qiyammah. Ameen. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀
@@FaiyadFit I going to assume that these high cost marriages demanded by the Muslim women are only happen in the western nations.
@@FaiyadFitmay Allah bless you
In my culture if the girl doesn’t ask for a good amount of mahr the guy’s family will think she is desperate to get married and this brings down her value. What a corrupt society
Corrupt
where is this
@@nadzirahfarhah3423 Middle East to keep it general :)
True as well in Yemen. They at least ask what the last girls mahr was so that they don’t see her as “less valuable”.
That is not islamic culture. There is a difference between islamic culture and Arab culture
I think it depends on the family you are from; I said to my husband give me what you can afford. Why make someone go broke, especially when you will be living with them.
Absolutely. But family values do not come near Islamic values.
That’s smart ask for what he can afford in his means
@@FaiyadFit 100%, that’s what I meant; like if you are from a family that bought you up with Islamic values then you won’t ask for ridiculous amounts. Either way you have to pay zakat on the gold or the money once you’ve had it for 1 year. I doubt these girls asking for huge amounts will even know/do that.
I think regardless of the family the person may come from doesn't matter. It's ridiculous how muslim women ask for so much money, gold, buying them a house or a very expensive car. At the end of the day you're not marrying someone for their money, but out of love for Allah.
In my situation: I told him not to do a wedding and just set up our apartment well. No extra expenses. No honeymoon unless he wanted that. I did ask for a mehr I thought was reasonable, my husband said he would’ve given me more. At the end of the day asking for a lot would’ve meant we started on the wrong foot in my opinion
If you wanted mehr you should ask for something smart,in his means
Allahumma barik
That worked well for you, alhamdulillah
Every brother is different. Some sisters ask for less and they get taken advantage off. These brothers go around and marry and divorce in secret and ruin women. One imam advised never to be modest with mahr, that men value that woman that they work hard for.
a female should only ask for 3 month minimum wage salary at most. So that it can survive without depending on the man should he refuse to pay for essentials during 3 months period after divorce. So around 4-10k is reasonable.
@@Zazezoo The females that ask for wealth will get it and receive nothing else and it will enter the hellfire along with the wealth that it want so much.
My (soon-to-be) wife inshallah requested Hajj for Mahr.
And I love her for that. Found myself the one.
Allahumma barek
akhi she's the one may allah grant you a happy marriage with her ameen
May Allah reward y’all. I agree this is the one (of four if you want) ;)
@@FaiyadFiti hope thats a joke since you are someone with a huge community and young brothers are watching you. Don’t come with the „but that’s islamically okay“-argument. Sometimes you need a basement of synapses in order to understand complex concepts
@@lolaandlila2454 I'll put forth the argument that the lack of men to women, multiple wives is a beautiful gift Allah has given for both men and women alhamdulillah the west has shamed us to think negatively about our islamic position on this matter and we should look at the reward and protection that comes with having this blessing Allah has given us Muslims inshaaAllah education on the responsibility is the way we move forward in bettering our Muslim community, not spreading a shame that isn't islamic inshaaAllah
Nikkah is becoming so difficult to approach and zina is becoming easy to approach
May Allah protect us. Good sisters and good brothers exist so we pray Allah can surround us with them
@@FaiyadFit Ameen
Marriage 200k meher,wedding,g wagon
Zina=tinder😂
@@suhaibsuhaib5947 I don’t wanna live on this planet anymore
I say an alien or some E.T in space throw an asteroid or a comet
I’m ready for it
In fact I’m asking for it
@@ismaelahmed8034 😂
Mine was just a hundred pound ring 😅 i wanted to ease my husbands burden so we would have money for more important things
Allahumma barik
As a man who is capable of paying those high mahrs, I would never do it out of principle and respect for myself. You can't be a man of honour if you have to pay your wife exorbitant amounts of money just for her to be with you and you'll never view yourself the same again.
Exactly akhi
It’s her right, and you can choose a woman who will ask for whatever you are comfortable with.
You seem too controlling, what’s the issue if you can afford? You can’t judge these sisters over UA-cam video. They could be better Muslims than you and I. Perhaps they’ll
Invest in that mahr, so they never have to work. we don’t know their intention/ plans… etc
@@Zazezoo No No and No
@@miladprive5163bet everything entered in one ear and left from the other one 😂😂
@ostop freemixing sister
I personally know a woman who asked for 100 $ for her mahr , her husband and her are a great couple , married with 2 children , very feminine and beautiful , its all about what's on her mind and her approach to the marriage , she cared about the family and marriage aspect and building a future with her desired husband . Any woman making it hard is not worth it , because she's not in it for the long term , a woman's love is unique , she will make it easier on you and you fill find peace with her . These high mahr women vet them and do not comply to these outrageous amounts , DO NOT SIMP ! LEARN TO WALK AWAY !
This bro
This is the truth. You need to learn to walk away. Personally know an uncle that burned over 100k at his son’s wedding just so they can divorce a few weeks later.
@@Fanhous wow ! that's sad and unfortunately very common our days , one must walk away before its to late , may allah make it easy on us .
I have seen it all here in Australia. Mahr with a fully paid off AMG, an investment property in the brides name + $50k cash on top, crypto currency etc 😅 They get very competitive with the wedding celebrations too. Trying to out do the last one. Expensive venues and entertainment. It’s all about status. So many guys and their families go into debt just to show off in front of the community.
This is absurd brotha
I bet 5 dollars these are Lebanese ppl
@@FaiyadFit in india females parents go in dept paying dowry that men ask for ...its absurd too....and meher here is not even a problem but dowry which males side of family want is leading to crimes like people have literally burned a newly wed women becausly her parents gave less dowry ........its too opposite here
@@1OddlyOddsame thought 😅
100k mahr, no problem ukhti send me your bank details so I can transfer the money over inshaAllah, you want a lambo urus aswell or what about a rolls royce😆 #fairytale
We can do instalments too ;)
"Indeed there is a Fitnah for every Ummah,and the Fitnah for My Ummah is Wealth."
Prophet Muhammad PBUH
That was my last self-improvement upload
Me and my husband really had nothing , we agreed that he don't have to give anything. Now years later he gave me everything i am a stay home mom and we have our beautiful boy and i am pregnant from our second boy 🎉 Alhamdoullilah i am a happy wife 26 years old and money means nothing to me we just need basic things nothing luxe
Allahumma barik may Allah reward y’all
I got married with my husband teaching me something about Islam that I didn’t know and took no money or jewelry from him. We are extremely happy.
May Allah preserve y’all
The point of paying the wife a sum amount is so that if the husband die the children can at least survive for a period of time. If you follow the law of divorce that say the husband have to pay for at least a month worth and at most 3 months worth to ensure no child or the paternity of the child after divorce then 1-3 months salary is perfectly acceptable. Also the reason why females cant initiate divorce but he man can at any time without any reason.
Isnt this haram? No mahr? U have to take some, there is wisdom behind it, its ordained and one of the 3 requirements. Dont be extreme
@@layla1796according to several hadith of our prophet pbuh. Mahr does not have to be money. It can be dates or even a gift of a surah to the wife .
@@jess13133 Women can divorce their husbands, what are you chatting about? An example of this happening is when Thabit Ibn Qays' wife divorced him (Hadith reference Sunan an-Nasa'i 3463?)
When one accept to pay ridiculous amount of money, its a green flag for her to treat him like a peason. The relationship would more of "give" and "take" and at some point, she will be bore of the materialism and leave, leaving the poor guy with debts and broken back
Lets be real some times families will ask a for high mahr or you can't marry my daughter
May Allah allow men and women to be clearheaded
You are right on most part BUT the mahr is not to be minimised either. I saw women asking just for a symbolic 2$ for mahr when the husbands had decent earnings. This does not make sense. There needs to be a balance. ALSO very important but the value of money BACK THEN is not the same value as of RIGHT NOW. In UK for exemple back then you could do a lot of things with 20£ but you can not do much with 20£ today. So you might not have the correct estimation of what 12 Uqiyah was.
Bro, can you make a video discussing weddings? Like culturally we’re expected to throw a big wedding party with music and dancing, but that’s haram. Pls make a vid discussing this cultural taboo.
In sha Allah bro give me more details
Nobody is going to stand in for your choices on the day of judgement. You need to understand whom you love more Allah or those who expect haram things from you.
I did my nikah and walima with one months salary for all expenses in my sisters home. My grandfather supported my decision. I had 25 close relatives for my marriage.
Every one warned me of dire social consequences. My friends disappeared for almost a year. My own parents would treat me with distance.
I was happy though. I treated every one well despite their behavior. Today it's been 30 years they have forgotten their behavior I have forgiven theirs and I thanked Allah for a wonderful start to my married life and continue to do so.
Just think today's world accepts girlfriends accepts zina accepts zina of eye.
Why do you feel the world should expect you to do your share of haram that too knowingly. ??!!
The world will lead you astray. That is why we Muslims are being butchered in millions and rendered homeless because we love haram of duniya in the end we get neither the duniya nor the hereafter.
@@FaiyadFit in Arab and desi cultures, once the Islamic nikkah has been done, we’re usually expected to throw a big wedding party with dabke, dancing, etc. many times it’s weird to not have a big wedding party. And the prophet PBUH encouraged us to have small modest weddings. And of course, these weddings are haram since they have free mixing and music. So please touch up on that.
I am from Sudan, but I was born in and lived a great deal of life in Saudi.
You would be surprised if I told that the mahr in both Saudi and Sudan is ridiculously high. Even though most people are not financilly well-off, especially young men.
It is has become so absurd that most of people are just not married. Some even reach their thirties and fourties and are still unmarried.
Not surprised. The only difference between us westerners and the Muslims in the Middle East is that their lands are homes to the holy sites and that’s that. Other than that, there’s scarily too much in common.
@@FaiyadFit Unfortunately. The West is sprinting towards deviance and we are following it.
Our parents (Allah bless them) had us request Fatimah Mahr which was not very much, but now in hindsight they realise they may have miscalculated as it’s not just about monetary inflation.
Anyways when girls family do things with humility, it’s important guys also don’t take advantage too.
Alhumdolilah so glad we have a mother who has helped guide us beyond belief. Always reminding us about the importance of attaining Allah Ta’alas barakah more than anything when it comes to husband’s finances. And I guess my father felt it was his duty to provide and keep his daughters content so that they didn’t go into another household with ‘hungry eyes’ and a hand that wants to take.
Finances are relative to one’s needs, spending and wants. Yes it would be nice to have x y z but it’s not be all end all. Love and cherish relations over material wealth and life passes by very happily.
(And btw maintaining beautiful relations esp with one’s parents is one of the barakah that many still don’t understand gets you places in this life)
Wonderful message sis, may Allah keep us pure. I loved the point about your father giving you so you don’t feel deprived in the future and greedy. Allahumma barik may Allah reward him.
My mother mahr was 90k exactly! And she deserves it she came from a rich family so she needed to continue on her same lifestyle. My mother's father never wanted to let my mother marry a poor man and that was a great decision.
sounds like shes spoilt
@@axo23867 okay?
the Prophet SAW said in a hadith that Qiyamah will not come untill the ummah immitate the non believers and look what's happening now muslim women demanding 100k in mahr in the west? may Allah SWT protect us all
Allahumma ameen we’re in the end times for sure. What else have you noticed that conveys the Hadith?
@@FaiyadFitwallahi i don't know if it's the same hadith but i did read that he (SAW) said that Qiyamah will not come untill tall buildings were to be built and they would be in competition with each other and look at places like Dubai and Saudi Arabia they build tall builldings for no reason and in Saudithey build hindu temple for these idol worsippers Astaghfirullah
@@FaiyadFitconcurrent situation in Palestine there last hope is to go to rafah 😢
@@FaiyadFitI think, but not sure there was a hadith relating the Believers would be treated like animals
Basically everything happening to the UYGHURS can be seen when people treat animals with cruelty
But its even worse
Salam Alaikum, brother. Good video, as always. My request is you do a video on domestic abuse that goes on in some marriages. There are some Muslim men who beat the wives very hard for no reason and these women are obedient. This happens and needs to be talked about... I have witnessed this. I haven't seen many Muslims speak on this issue. This has me very angry and upset. This type of abuse is not permitted. These are good women who get treated badly. Please speak on this.
You who reading this,peace be upon you
Walaikum Assalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu
in india, the girl has to give dowry to the guy to get married and those demands are like a lengthy list and not just that but an expensive wedding so that they can brag about it. But when it comes to mahr [in the city where i live] the guys family would determine the mahr which quite lesser than what they've demanded. i have seen cases where the groom's family cancelling the wedding bc they didn't give what they wanted and treating the girl badly and shaming her for not bringing enough dowry. may Allah guide us all.
Astagfirullah. This is pure jahiliyyah. Allah revealed Islam so we can end ridiculous cultural practices.
If they are Muslim, their marriage isn't even valid. This is illegal sexual intercourse.
Yes, here in India, muslims are very influenced by the regressive hindu culture.
Brother fayyad, as a muslimah I really appreciate all your videos for the way they are very balanced and unbiased.
I have however experienced Muslimahs in the US asking huge amounts too. One of my close relative is also constantly asked to bring more money from home so they can buy 1000s of dollars of house or expensive holiday or car when they just married.
But then we have the exact opposite situation in the south Asian nations where women are barely given mahr that averages upto 100 to 500 dollars which would always be just 3 % of what they spent on the wedding. Instead the girl's father is made to spend on expensive weddings and huge number of guests. And many women aren't even given their mahr until much later in life. And some even die by that time and are expected to forgive it completely as a sign of love got the spouse
SubhanAllah thanks for your experience, it’s getting into a global issue for sure
That's crazy how they don't get their mahr until later in life or until they die.
@jamila442 Unfortunately it is true. The father even takes huge amounts of loan to pay for his daughter's wedding and is many times also expected to look after the delivery expenses of the first baby and throw a huge party again. At the end of it all, not only exhaust all of their life savings but are also forced to borrow money from others just to save the dignity of their family and his daughter's marriage.
Well, my marriages have been very short lived because I was that sister who asked for very little mahr. I really tried to make marriage easy, however, brothers only value sisters whom they work hard for. Unfortunately, these sisters have set their bar high to secure their future with advantage taking Muslim men. These are the sisters who won’t be divorced the next day after nikah, because they will be their husbands investments. Their husbands will fear loosing them considering they’ve spent so much money on them.
I would advise younger sisters not to be extreme, but not to be modest either when it comes to mahar. Whatever a sister is comfortable with, let her ask, mahr is our rights. You cannot shame sisters for asking for mahr, when Allah made it permissible for us to request whatever we wish, unless it’s Haram. Brothers don’t have to marry them if they don’t agree with the mahr. Though I know these sisters will get men who value them. I’m a sister who’s been married multiple times and I wouldn’t wish my experience on anyone, so go ask for your mahrs and don’t be ashamed sisters. All I can add is fear Allah brothers and sisters, we’ll be questioned regarding everything we do and say.
I appreciate the addition of that last sentence. Advising sisters to make getting married harder than it already is by increasing their mahr for no good reason is something you will be questioned about. I don't know your circumstances, but I can guarantee you, whatever the reasons are for your multiple divorces, it definitely wasn't because of the amount of the mahr.
@LMNM800💀💀
Ur completely wrong…
I dont see many men just leaving there women lol..
Also why u saying “superficially” women as “aware of their right “ ??
They r delusional
The most middle path is being considered if the women like him she will make adjustments
As a guy, I assure you that youre completely wrong. If you ask for a high mahr the guy would have resentment towards you for a very long time, maybe even forever (speaking based on personal experience). And this is what scholars say as well, as the brother mentioned in the video. So, no, you don’t understand male psychology better than males do, or big ulema do. Your marriage might have been short lived for many different reasons, not necessarily for asking for a low mahr.
@@thatpakiguy3445 if you don't mind me asking, why? (im just genuinely curious when i ask because i want to understand more) what do you mean by resentment.
@@d5555What did you expect, she’s been married and divorced so many times, of course she’s gonna have a twisted opinion like that
No hate but is 20k/30k that much? I am not even from USA amd i believe it's pretty standard amount.
I didn't care for my mehr, compromise many many things for the sake of Allah, but you know what? People think you're weak if you're kind. Anyway, the guy never took the responsibility and used to tell me I am my father's responsibility. And later he divorced me. I wanted it too. But he sent the letter just like this is nothing.
Mahr Fatimi’ refers to a Mahr arrangement inspired by the dowry stipulated by Prophet Muhammad ﷺ for Ali RA, to give to Fatima RA, upon her marriage to him. The commonly mentioned amount for the Mahr Fatimi is 480 dirhams, although opinions may differ.
May Allah allow us to follow the Sunnah. What have you seen in your experience with marriage today and mahr?
Alhumdulillah, I accepted Mahr Fatimi from my husband some years back. Alhumdulillah he did gift me some additional items of his choice. Sis, make the marriage easy especially if you like the guy! The blessings will come from being easygoing inshaAllah. Mahr does not mean your worth as a woman and whatever the average man can afford as mahr will never be enough to protect a woman if the marriage fails tbh. The most beautiful and long-lasting marriages start with being kind and understanding, and not putting pressure on your spouse.
I like how you were thinking sister but did u convert the 480 dirham to our time? Because 480 dirham would a nice amount in the prophets but, forgive me if it sounds rude, 480 isn't a lot of worth in this day and age. Maybe money wasn't your goal but I also think we need to account the time period we are in rn to choose Mehr
@@nyar-or1ywexactly! Especially in this day and age, £400 doesn’t buy much, back then it would have been a lot!!!
What entitlement dude?? Its THEIR right given to THEM by God. Also even if they do say things like these, in the end there are always mahr negotiations b/w their spouse and them. Not to mention MAHR is of two types; you can pay all at once OR slowly to them. I am not justifying like a 100K mahr but if she wants 10K, its not unreasonable, not to mention a good mahr is the one you have atleast a little difficulty paying. YOU want her to take care of you, top to bottom, possibly your parents BUT wont give them a right to a mahr of their choosing? If these things were undesirable or makrooh it would NOT have been permissible.
In Islam woman has the right to demand any amount of mehr....so who are you to judge ? A woman actually objected to Caliphs Umar, when He tried to tell women to not ask for much mahr...
Ok don't complain later why you can't get married
‘’Sister I want to marry you, not to buy you’’-quote of the year.
A woman that can be bought isn’t worth having anything above 30k is just reaching
U think 30k is even acceptable?
@@FaiyadFit it’s enough to make a man feel like because he worked hard for that money so he has to make the marriage work, on the other hand paying 500 seems disposable unless the guy is planning to have more than one wife. But ideally maybe 10-15k
@@kasimtime8478bro when will yall learn that meher wont stop a man from a divorce be a good wife and you wont worry. if this logic worked the western men would not leave their disrespectful woman even though they lose 50%of their assets,children,have to pay aligmony for life😂
@@suhaibsuhaib5947 it’s not the money it’s the intent of why he got the money if guys had to spend 30k on first dates I’m pretty sure it’ll incentivize them to get something out of it
is it any wonder why brothers are going abroad to get married.
SubhanAllah but good women do exist here, just gotta find them.
bro im leaving if she asking for 10k im not that down bad 😂
You’re entitled to do what you want and accept what you want my bro
find a more suitable spouse inshAllah
@@holographist salam alaikum bro/sis um U shud b writing in sha Allah & not the words together
10k is normal and if anything less than average
I didn’t ask my husband for mahr when we got married I Just wanted to marry him 😂
SubhanAllah but a mahr is still required
@@FaiyadFit "And give the women their gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease" Quran 4:4.
lol so a woman is entitled for wanting a high mahr but a man isn't entitled when he wants more than one wife? The most important thing is that whatever she wants is within that man's means and it does not cause a financial strain on him. If he makes $1 million then $20k is nothing for him. Is it unrealistic for her to get married to a millionaire? Yes? But are they entitled? Nope :) The hadith that you quoted is talking about the FATHERS increasing their daughter's mahr, it didn't say anything about her increasing her mahr about the wives, daughters. and mothers of the Prophets (PBUT). Mahr is literally what the woman desires and the only contingency is that it is within that man's means, not the average man's mean. What is the difference from scrutinizing women for the mahr that they want and women scrutinizing men for wanting more than one wife?
Although girls are allowed to ask for whatever she wants, if she loves you she’ll make it easy. There will be more baraka
Absolutely dis
Yes but you gotta remember the prophet SAW even said the less Mahr the better and it has more blessings, Muslims now a days do not do that, they think they are better and deserve it all when really they are all corrupt, the prophets wives and daughters didn’t even ask for that much, who do these girls think they are you see these Muslim girls doing the complete opposite all they care about is there Own desires money Beautifying/displaying themselves and imitating disbelievers we see it all in our eyes! Nobody Deserves Any Mahr that was listed in this video that is Absolutely Pathetic and ridiculous!
How will she love you if she hasn’t been with you 🤨
@@Fanhous Remember, getting to know people without dating is a thing.
@@jamila442 sure, but I believe love comes after being in contact with someone for an extended period of time. There are exceptions for some people though.
It's the same thing down here in Australia akhi. It's all talk. They say they want a man like the Prophet(saw), but when it comes to the crunch, they want someone who can spoil them like Kanye did for Kim.
Like habibti, you're marrying Abdul from the local kebab shop.
And what makes it worse, you got sisters who have social media accounts, who have 5,10, 20k+ followers, of both men and women.. and no doubt they're getting DMs left and right, and because of that, it's creating egos that are inflated beyond belief. Not to mention the doors of making her mahram and future husband as dayooths.
Crazy times we living in now. The non-muslim women have more grasp of financial reality and expectations than our sisters do.
May Allah protect us. Absolutely spot on. I’m sure you’ve seen some good sisters in AUS tho right? Every time I come down near lakemba or bankstown I’m pretty disappointed at the state of modern Muslims myself. Stay safe!
@FaiyadFit I'm down in Melbourne, scenes aren't as hectic as you see in Lakemba or Bankstown, but you'll find it if you're looking for it. Regardless of where you are, there are men out there who wish to get married, but can't find a sister to get married to, especially one on Deen or one who wishes to marry like that of the Sunnah.
Well Said brother! Keep doing the good work u are giving to this Ummah!!!
May Allah make me a good-doer!
Brother astagfirullah you have the shirk game "g** of war" shared on your channel
At this point, we're more like Buying woman rather than marrying them
Absolutely smh
A better term would be "Glorified Prostitution", my friend told me this is quite prevalant in his culture, which is quite sad...
Yeah just like the slave trade (“right hand possession”)
@@FaiyadFitquestion,is umrah,6k,and a kitten to much…I can’t tell 😭😭
Depends on the man’s salary
Great video keep it up you're doing amazing things also Muslims need to learn about story of Ali RA when he got married to prophet Muhammad beloved daughter may Allah make it easy for all of us ameen 🙏
Allahumma barik may Allah reward you. I mentioned it in brief but what takeaways do you want us to keep in mind?
@@FaiyadFit If you marry blessed brother the money will come as Allah bless marriage with people who fear Allah as Ali RA from being one of the poor people in people in the time of prophet Muhammad later in life was caliph of the Muslims and had 32 kids and many wives after Fatima RA returned with Allah and her beloved father prophet Muhammad this show's the real mahr from a point of view is getting married to great Muslim as that Muslim will rise great Muslims and does kids and grandchildren will change the Muslim world for the sake of Allah.
My name is Uzair too lol 😂
You can blame culture/parents for this. Believe me, we wouldn’t care if the pressure wasn’t pushed on us. They’ve made us feel as though the mehr amount is equivalent to the value of the girl.
Allah SWT says in the Qur’an to obey parents till they turn you against Him.
I am 25 years old and seeing this makes me come to the conclusion of not wanting a woman even more. Ima stay single my whole life as i am not worried about Zina, may Allah ( الله سُبْحَانَهُۥ وَتَعَالَىٰ ) protect us.
The West has the audacity to call women oppressed in Islam.
Glory to Allah ( الله سُبْحَانَهُۥ وَتَعَالَىٰ ) that i am not desperate and may He keep me away from greedy women. May Allah ( الله سُبْحَانَهُۥ وَتَعَالَىٰ ) help brothers who are desperate for marriage but cannot due to financial problems.
Don’t be black pilled and get married chief. Good women exist and you can find them in the west. Allah can give you from sources you’ve never imagined.
@@FaiyadFit Marrlage is a massive scam in the west. Most the wmn out here aren't even desirable. It might be worth it in some poor and impoverished country where they can't afford to be so absurd and demanding.
@@FaiyadFitI think he doesn't want to be just like any man
But its starting to become unmanageable
And this is for the brothers with degrees.
Imagine those who DON'T have degrees
They are just screwed it seems
@@ryojs4286 not true, as long as the brother is resourceful and shows that he's always actively looking for opportunities then Insha’Allah he will find a good wife. My friend got married and they started with nothing but now Allahumabarik they're finding themselves. May Allah bless their union and grant them all their heart desires that is Khayr Ameen. If a sister is saying no to you because of no degree then maybe keep looking..a lot of our shuyukh had humble jobs in addition to spreading knowledge, may Allah bless them Ameen. There are still humble and gems of women, just gotta approach it correctly or ask help from those that are in good marriages (may Allah bless everyone's marriage Ameen) and those that are trustworthy.
Find yourself a western revert. They accept Islam for the right reason and marry for the right reason. May Allah guide and help you find a wife.
As a Muslim woman, I do not require a mahr or any material possessions from my future husband.
My desire is for a partner who will treat me with respect as his wife and provide for our household.
I have sought advice from elder women who are happily married and believe that a successful marriage requires mutual satisfaction and longevity.
It is important to me that my husband feels appreciated and respected.
I am seeking advice from happy couples in hopes of finding a righteous spouse. Please make a dua for me in this endeavor.
These generations just get more greedy
Modern ones innit
As a muslim woman, what really bothers me is that it really seems like the woman forgot something: If you want to annul your marriage, you have to give the mahr back. How are you supposed to do that with $100k? Not spend it? I am so confused about a high mahr. On top of being contrary to the sunnah.
SubhanAllah lol
That Is something I think about too.
Inflation also applies to mahr 😂, if you can’t afford her mahr don’t marry her and move on go make some money instead of complaining that’s so sad that men attack women for a right that Allah literally gave them.
Go make the bucks if you want to provide for a family
Dont lie to this poor brothers if you cant afford her meher move on dont go and try to become Jeff bezos to pay 500k meher for the next girl instead go find a woman that is acctually attracted to you and wants you to marry her not buy her,my uncle is a attractive man and his wife literly ran away with him when her father said no just cuz he is a hot guy,high meher =i dont want you😂
thank you for another amazing video bro, there are insane people who demand higher rate of mahr, even higher than 200k!! plus, i'd really appreciate it if u make a video on how bad and filthy it is to listen to music, and a lot of muslims are struggling with quitting music. jazakallah.
Jazakallahu khair and yes video soon on music in sha Allah. Any other topics?
It’s important to not get disheartened, for the Muslim brothers. A lot of Muslim sisters speak like this jokingly, when push comes to shove, and they find a man they like, they won’t be asking for that much 😂
Absolutely good women exist in the west dw
@@FaiyadFit btw I love your use of Quran and Hadith to back up your statements. May Allah reward you
wali syndrome 💀
Had to be called
Honestly, I think you guys are partly to blame for this. Here me out, when you use language surrounding mehr like “worth” like “you’re not worth that”, as if the mehr value is an equivalent to her value. When women hear men have different mehr standards for different women. Women start to then feel like they’re disrespecting and cheapening themselves by asking for little.
It is not true that many men set a specific dowry for all women, it does not matter if they are beautiful or not, and it is known in religion that the one with the least dowry is the most blessed, because he is a man looking for a married life. If a woman thinks about luxury matters, she is not prepared for marriage and does not have the qualities of a wife.
There are woman in the comments literly comapring themselves to products saying men wont take something cheap serious dont blame this on the men
bro my cousin paid like 50k in mahr 😭😭😭😭😭hes IN HIS 20S HES A UNI STUDENT bro the high mehrs gotta stop bro 😭😭
No way, could he afford it or no
parents paid for him@@FaiyadFit
@@FaiyadFiteither loans or wealthy family
💀
How did he pay it
You can blame the "His money is my money" ideology holders.
Astagfirullah. Have you seen high mahrs lead to successful marriages or no in your opinion?
@@FaiyadFit the more barriers put onto halal, the more it's gonna become resentful. A woman who has mercy for his man and thinks about charity for the poor, is a keeper for sure. Of course it'll outdo a high mahr marriage (regardless of the fact people can afford it or not).
@@FaiyadFitwallah it always ends bad even if i was a millionare i would feel bad for exampel if my wife divorced me and married a poor guy for 3k meher while i the rich dude payed 200k i would feel like she loved him more
are you sure the video isn't satire/ faking it? a lot of these street interviews are distort the actual values of the general Muslim woman
I know women who demanded extravagant mahr and men agreed and now the marriage ain’t it.
Unfortunately, it is not satire. The Mahr has been inflating over the years. It’s like everyone is trying to outdo each other.
@wonderer2632 I think a really good wisdom behind Mehr is using it as a tool to gage if a woman will be a good wife or not depending on how much she feels entitles to ask
Brother, a house being a requirement is reasonable. And 50k isn't even bad, depending on the currency
The prohpet mohammed said: those who demand less mahr are those who will live a long happy life
Wow subhanAllah
@@FaiyadFit Good day brother!!
@@Lightless_erawhere is the hadith
Made a video on this on my channel (red flags to look for in Muslim women). Funny enough, got called the female Faiyadfit. Major point I made, just because something is halal doesn’t mean it’s wise. End of story.
Assalamu Alaykum sis check DMs! Sent you a business opportunity in sha Allah
Mehr became a sale marketing Subaxanallah I have 2 son I fear for their future
May Allah protect us. Educate them well
Women who value money to that extent are for men who value money to that extent. They often (not always) end up miserable together because they both have deep-rooted issues and don't value deen over dunya.
You have to understand that every man who married a woman like these sisters could have easily married a poor woman and paid less. Men are paying a premium to marry the type of women they think they want and then regretting it later when they have to actually live with her and deal with her character. At the same time, the women are demanding high numbers because they think men with more money are better men and that a willingness to pay that much proves his love for her. Then they have to live with these men, and they are also displeased with his character.
Absolutely. The sister’s value is not equated to the dollar amount.
Quick question brother, isnt the mahr also supposed to be a protection for the woman just in case the husband divorces her? Or is that a different thing??
No it shouldn’t be used like that. It’s supposed to be a gift for the soon to be wife. Plus: in my opinion, it doesn’t make sense because you’re coming into this marriage already thinking about what you’re gonna do when you get divorced…
Why doesn't anyone criticize a phenomenon where men from this particular country (yes, it's only from one particular country, guys!!!) some of them (if not most) have the SAME MENTALITY where they want to have a wife from abroad, rumors have said that women from their own country require high dowries. But the problem is, they want their future wife to come to their country to then be married by a priest. Not only that, they also don't want to learn English/Arabic as a bridge for communication, but expect that their future wife will have to learn their language. I hope big influencers like you can open men's minds from this particular country to understand how important it is to meet and ask permission from women's guardians, and also to make women be aware not to take things easy on themselves in ways that are not in accordance with the Shari'a like this.😢😢
Assalamu alikum bro i am 16 and i didnt know about this situation untill now. imagine what will be the situation of mahr in 2030🫡.
Jazkallah khairan for giving insights on this situation.
Wa iyaakum and Walaikum Assalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu
i dont know why we have this false idea that high monetary value = being a high-value woman, it's the opposite in fact because nothing is worse than attributing your worth to money/the material world. money does not at all come near character and values. demanding high Mahr is like shooting yourself in the foot; if the amount is so much that it makes him struggle financially afterwards, you will also struggle as you made it difficult for him to provide for YOU.
I got married 5 months ago and mine was 200€ 😂
That's absolutely mindblowing. May Allah swt put Baraka in your marriage and bless you with righteous children
Allahumma barik
Did you pick this or family raised you this way
@@FaiyadFit It was discussed between my family and his and I agreed.
My mama said "there are girls with thousands in Mehr and still cannot build a family... Allah will bless you with much more, but more importantly, with a good husband".
I will not lie, I would have loved to have more (more the better 😅)... maybe because of the same issue other girls are having: valuing myself as a woman based on the number a man pays for me. But, thanks to Allah, I am able to differ a dream or a fairytale from reality.
Now, I don't even think about it. He is gem of a man with a heart of gold and immense respect and love for me, and we are already expecting our first son in September.
@@n.m.9938 May Allah reconcile your mirage, and protect your husband, and your mother, and father. Your comment really put a very big smile at my face; hope that smile gets you a lot of Hasanat. I really hope that I would be like your husband (or a little downgrade) in the future. It really get me so happy to see a very good family. May Allah protect you. Your son would be probably one of the most luckiest, and the most happiest son ever.
Societies have become more and more materialistic, the influence of post-modernism، you have done well in quoting the Quran and Sunnah in clarifying matters
May Allah guide us
Allahumma ameen
It's worth it considering how horribly they're treated
I told my best friend, i dont want anything for my dowry. I dont have any male muslim family members as im the only muslim in my family. I told my best friend, if the imam decides i HAVE to have a mahr, then ill try to convince him to make the mahr 1 dollar equivalent to whatever currency is related to the nationality of my husband (example; if my husband is bengali, i'd like my mahr to be 1 dollar in whatever his currency is). I dont need extra money, i want my husband. Im not going to marry just for mahr or money, i want to marry for the benefits of Islam and for the love of my husband.
May Allah bless you but it isn’t up to the imam. Islamically a mahr is required and there’s an opinion that stipulates the MINIMUM of a mahr as well so make sure you follow it.
@@FaiyadFit i dont have any male family members that are muslim, so ultimately it comes down to the imam to decide my dowry since i cannot choose how much i want. What's the minimum for a mahr? Can i just deny having a mahr altogether?
@@Oceana2257take the mahr that brother Faiyad explained in the video is equivalent to the amount of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم
@@longegg-wind9577 i cant read the last part with the arabic. Can you please translate?
@@Oceana2257 sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. It’s what is said after mentioning the name of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. It loosely translates to may Allah send peace and salutations upon him. It is a dua that Allah makes mentions of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم amongst the highest angels
"Sis, I'm trying to marry you" - profound words which I can never say to my sis 😅😅
Hahahaah. Maybe the “sis” here is about the: “my sis in Allah;” not the: “sis in family.”
We don't have this problem in America Alhamdulillah. All these demands that the women requested in your video sounds like cryptic language that: translation-"I'm not really into marriage. I'm trying to enjoy my moment."
I commented it on yoir other post.
A lot of sisters want a higher mahr because she is afraif of what he will allow himself.
When you get something cheap, you treat it cheap.
I know that sisters are not products but it comes natural for us to value something more because we needed to sweat for it and needed to put effort into it.
The stuff that was easy and cheap to get, often makes us forget their value.
The concept can also work the other way e.g. if something is extremely expensive then you wonder if you’ve got your money’s worth or just overspent on something that is actually cheap. No offence to any woman, but remember the sunnah of Mahr Fatimi. Mahr is not the woman’s worth, we need to get this idea out of our heads. For a man, he would appreciate the woman who didn’t burden him beyond what he could afford and inshaAllah he would respect her as his wife for being easygoing. Men want peace from their wives
There is no women equivalent of paying mahr as far as I know. Does that mean that women inherently won’t value their husbands? Of course not. Even if the mahr is low, a man will still be working to provide for his family throughout the marriage.
@@raphaelnouh1442
Maybe.
It is not to measure your worth.
But more to make sure that your spouse knows that you don't settle down for nothing. And that ypu expect him to put effort into his responsibilites.
An equivalent for low mahr, like you mentioned, might be a man who doesn't exoect much effort and initiative from his future wife
She doesn't give you 100% consent that szhe will cut her male friends, that she acknowledges your authority, your sex drive....etc.
She just tells you that she knows. But doesn't really seem eager or clear enough to actually DO so.
Making the mahr more expensive is a way for women to test how serious he takes his role as a provider and how much effort he plans to put into getting together with her.
@@MuslimMessenger267 not really. Mehr is a gift. It’s not providing for the family or anything. All having a high mehr does is build resentment, and make it harder for marriage to happen.
@@raphaelnouh1442 In a lot of cases, it goes the other way though.
As i said, when you get it cheap you might treat it cheap.
Some men might falsey start to believe that she will always be fine with zero or the bare minimun, since she was so humble to not expect a high mahr.
A lot of men fall into this trap.
They believe that they can allow themselves to get lazy or not give 100%, since she is so "masha allah" to NOT expect much from you.
A high mahr might mean that he needs to sweat for getting a good wife. And there isn't anything wrong with that as long as not exaggerated.
Do not take them seriously. They are just ''stating'' their ''requirements'' for the heck of it (and maybe for the camera too). They do not mean all those. Women generally speak from a feeling-centric basis and their ''requirements'' will change like the wind. You could tell from their body language and tonality. They are not as entitled as we think they are. Women are agreeable and once you meet these same women in the video for marriage, 90% sure they will tone it down by a lot. Just a realistic take.
Absolutely but I know actual women who demanded tens of thousands of dollars and men who paid it
@@FaiyadFit desperate men are making our life much harder lol
Brother, we have to give the woman a mahr we can afford. But we shall not exaggragate.
I would give my future wife some stocks/ETFs.
And a little bit jewelry to wear.
But it has to be reasonable.
And affordable.
Fair
Southasian muslims mainly Pakistanis also practice the pre Islamic tradition of 'Jahaiz' whereby the brides parents shower gifts to the grooms side and to the groom himself. Items such as furniture, jewellery/watches, clothing, homeware appliances and even expensive vehicles/properties are given. This tradition needs to stop as it is nothing but utter greed! Couples have divorced over this pagan tradition as the husband has not been satisfied with the amount of gifts received. There are many housholds where women have reached thier mid 40s who cannot find a husband because her parents are unable to purchase gifts for any suitable husband.
May Allah forgive these Muslims who sincerely repent for cultural nonsense
I think the part of the reason for high mahr is because we are always told "my money is my money and your money is my money" and also because most of us are never taught that mahr is negotiable and has to be affordable for the groom because I know for a fact I wasn't or at least I don't remember I was taught about this and had to found out on my own. Also I heard it was because some girls are to shy to say no to a potential spouse, so they set high mahrs.
Surprisingly my friends were asking about their mahr nd 1 of them was like i wanna 5k ok the. other one said at least i wanna 10k nd it was my turn n i told'm idk more about mahr money inshalah let that day come n they were like where do u wanna go for honeymoon nd i told them i want to go to the hajj nd they were like u r behind u r not upto date u r nd i told to myself what's wrong with the ummah today
May Allah keep you steadfast just be careful bc the prophet saw mentioned that you’re on the religion of your friends. It’s crazy how despite us thinking different we subconsciously let friends influence us.
@@FaiyadFit ameem I always make sure they don't Influence me cuz they like sinning by listening music nd having haram relationships but not most of them r like that
Many of this sisters might not even know the basic fundamental creed of a muslim, the true worth of a woman is her mindset and her ideology, same applies to man.
Absolutely. First to name their mahr and last to tell you where Allah is.
Being considerate and understanding of my soon to be husbands financial situation I’m only asking for 1k. I had it way higher before but I had to rethink my decision to make it easier for him inshallah. Some women are so unrealistic with mehr it’s embarrassing. Living in a fairytale in their minds
100k Whaaat? Never heard of this. What kind of men agreeing with this... crazy. My husband had depts. So we agreed on a Mahr of 5 euro.
My was he read me ayat hursi and his native language before bed for two months after we get married ❤
May Allah reward you immensely. How’s the marriage now? Did he take advantage of you or devalue you like these modern muslims think?
@@FaiyadFit he’s Turkish and I’m American.
He’s everything and more I preyed to Allah for. He’s work hard so all I want is to be the best wife to him for the sake of Allah. I know few would say I can get whatever I want but as a new Muslim female what I want the most is a kind loving husband and to be the best wife I can be for him. It’s sad the some just see the pretty thing in don’t see the long gain. To have a person that will love you take care of you in your family.
I started looking at your videos when you was with 3 muslim love your content there and here. I know you help men improve their life but what about the women who want to live our live like it should be may Allah keep blessing you and your beautiful family
@@legadoagency7974MuslimSkeptic has his wife give wife courses essentially
There was one video on his channel about it I believe
Jazakallah khair Brother.This is a great video especially the islamic Evidence section you can't argue with that. As a muslimah i agree mehr should not be exaggerated. Sadly it's a online trend amongst our sisters. And the muslim women who ask for less or a reasonable amount of mehr are literally looked down upon by their fellow muslim sisters and called names and referred to as settling for less as if their better than them. in my option i believe this is because we have normalised imitating the non muslims and seeking their validation instead of pleasing Allah and sticking to the quran and sunnah. Therefore things like materialism and feminism have seeped in to our Ummah and corrupted the minds of some sisters. this kind of behaviour is also the reason why many young muslim men resort to things like the red pill and normalise Zina so casually they justify it because sadly many muslim sisters have made it impossible to even find a spouse in this climate of extreme haram , i'm not saying thats the main reason but just a though. This also reminded me about the Newly wedded couples in Gaza i'm pretty sure the muslim sisters in the blessed land are not asking for 50k mhr and extravagant materialistic things. i know we don't live in a occupied land and were not being bombed physically and were not extremely poor even though the people of the blessed land are part of us so them being occupied and slaughtered it affects us. May Allah protect the Ummah and grant us all righteous spouses. Sorry for the long comment.
Allahumma ameen what a great analysis
Nobody wants them anyway 😂😂
mehr is entitlement? you cant pay then look for other women. why you have to criticize these women? Shame on you.
Imma ask for 2 cats (free adopted) and a nice diamond wedding ring (dosent have to be the most exspensive)
As a woman, the only thing I want is to perform hajj or umrah. Forget the cash, gold, etc.
May Allah preserve you.
Women are supposed to give the amount of mehr after finding a man, not before so she can make it based on his wealth, she can ask for any amount don’t get me wrong but it’s unlikely she’ll get married if it’s out of his budget and the prophet said the lower the mehr the better!
Let me ask if you think a wali asking for this is halal or not.
As an Egyptian Muslim, there’s a cultural expectation to buy a home and furnish it in order to get her father’s approval. Mehr not included. I kid you not, I couldn’t find a decent home in my area that was affordable without using a mortgage. What happened? I paid $35K to own a piece of the home then $10K in fees to use a mortgage to get the remaining $300K needed.
I tried looking for halal lenders and saw that they all are in fact not sharia compliant.
So now I’ve dropped $45K to pay off a small piece of the home and get a 30 year mortgage. Of course the home is old on the inside and needs renovations. Floors, bathrooms and the entire kitchen need to be replaced and more.
I paid some Egyptian and Palestinian brothers to do the work, so their labor plus materials came around to $50K. I’m happy to give them that money for their effort since they’re part of the community and the work was good.
The mehr is $8K USD. In total I spent over $100K+. My parents say “but it’s YOUR house, not your wife’s” yet I feel like this is all mehr in a weird way. Sure she doesn’t own the home but the fact that it’s all a condition to get married is insane. Haven’t even paid for the furniture yet. Crazy wali syndrome where Egyptian fathers think not owning a home or apartment equals you being a failure as a potential husband.
subhanallah, even mortgage is haram. you could've just rented a house and then collected many to buy a small house
Bro may Allah make it easy on you. All this is pre-Islamic ignorance and nonsense. This isn’t the way. Expecting a man who wants to marry your daughter to go into riba and pay beyond his means. What’s wrong with rent? This is total nonsense and may Allah punish the ones that do this knowingly. Sorry you had to go thru this.
@@FaiyadFitI pointed out how there’s nothing wrong with renting, but they always bring it back to money by saying, “when you rent, you still own no property and the landlord takes all the benefit”. Totally absurd since you can at least save more money while renting, and eventually buy a home in a better situation.
Ironically the Wali inherited his home when his father passed. So there was no real hardship for himself to own a home when he had to get married. A lot of Walis had property handed down to them back when Egypt’s economy was stronger. Now if you tell the same Wali to buy an apartment given TODAY’s economic and opportunities, he simply can’t do it but expects YOU to.
When you quoted “You cost me everything I own, and cost me a great deal of hardship” I felt like a clown because that has been my mindset the entire time. It cost me all the money I saved up, and the whole process of buying homes and getting my offers rejected, going thru a lender, going thru lawyers, finding and paying people to work on the home sounds like the a great deal of hardship. The whole process took nearly a year of looking for homes, investigating supposedly “halal” lenders, etc.
At least if and when I have kids I will make sure they’re not subjected to this nonsense.
hi, there's a hadith that states that musical instruments are haram, so i don't recommend adding music to ur videos.
My mahr was 5k .. but you’ve motivated me to direct it towards charity, may Allah SWT reward you .. also asked my UK friend hers and she said 40k and I told her mine and her response was don’t cheap yourself sis.
40k in UK is alot of money
40k anywhere is a lot of money. May Allah reward you sis
Even 5k in Bangladesh is a lot
This is absurd. These young girls are all day on social media lusting after the rich or so called rich fake till you make it influencers. They think it’s the norm. They put their value higher than what it is. After the experience of what my brother went through with a gold digger demanding high mahr. My advice is for the brothers to walk away. It is a red flag. These women will ruin your life.
5k is very reasonable
I know as Muslimahs it is our right to name the price of mahr. But what’s the point of receiving a million dollars of mahr asked out greed and pride? It won’t bring barakah. Whereas asking for a reasonable amount without greed and pride will bring more blessings. We shouldn’t forget the main point of mahr. It’s not about showing off or satisfying one’s greed. Ladies who are greedy and materialistic can wait forever until they get old, wrinkly, and gray for someone willing to offer what they ask.
SubhanAllah. May Allah keep us pure.
Brother stop complaining. It’s her right.
If you can’t afford it move on.
It’s not your business how she uses it.
And with that right comes responsibility
Imagine if i put my mahr requirements at houses cars and gold and fashion clothes...
And then i wonder why i can't get married
Modern women delusion
I'm going to be asking for a lamb this has beenin mymind been coupleof yrs and in shaa Allah wontbe changing my mind🥲
Haha
The short answer: because there are men desperate enough to pay
Men need to stop s*mping now
My brother i am 15 and I feel so lost when I watch your videos it makes me wonder about my future I’ve been watching your videos for a while now and i was thinking does the call have to be video and voice or is it possible for me to just message as I don’t know if I’d be comfortable using video or voice idk if this message is weird but I feel like im heading the wrong way in my life and would rather try seek some guidance
Dm me on Instagram then to text
He only talks about those women. Like if he told you about the good women in his videos then you think that your future would be bright. So the TL;DR is just ask the good luck from Allah. And have a knowledge of how to make your wife happy, and who wife should you chose, and how to treat your wife, and your Children, and learn them. Like don’t get me wrong it’s not complex and hard. It’s just need knowledge, and it would be so much better to learn from now, since learning is extremely good for any age; no matter of what is it. Btw I'm also 15. 😂❤
Only in america go outsidr and you get planelty of women for marriage insha Allah
How cmon is this? . Im not sure its painting mulimah in a positive light. Anyone stupid enough to agree to this has only himself to blame.
Doesn’t matter. This video will paint the true to the Sunnah proper Muslimas in perfect light and only expose these modern western muslimas for their regression in values