It’s definitely hard when you explain what you want and try for those boundaries and nothing is respected and understood and then the relationship continues to be toxic.
I agree my mil is a covert narcasisst . Thinks she should be treated better then anyone and everyone. She don't like that i am opinionated and have feelings that don't agree with her. The best thing is she lives 1 hr away .
My Mil has been telling my husband that i don't really love him....and yes we live with her and my sil. They have been against me and our relationship from the beginning. Yes we pay rent...yes we pay bills and we aren't yet in a position to move and she frankly needs us to help her with bills. I feel so trapped and alone. I moved to a different state to be with him and i don't really know anyone here.
You mentioned you have troubles with in-laws in the past and then everything was fine. I consider you are now positive about that because today you are the "Mother in-law"
Her mother in law is now dead and father-in-law’s almost dead. In laws probably helped them raise and pay for the 8 kids. She got a lot out of it but no mention of that.
🗽🎶❤When i just got married we started to live together with my in -Lows in tiny apartment. It was a HELL. !!! My husband 's mom hated me (and my mom!) and she was not shy talking about it loudly! Every day was something that eritated her! My husband always tried his best for improving situations but it was helpless. After 9 years we finally got our own housing. And we started pretty good relationship. They were welcome to our house always! All of us never reminded bad time and any offenses. Mom (like i called her) helped me with kids( Father was still working) and with some chores, and i was VERY grateful. And we NEVER argued anymore. GOD SAVE THER SOULS!
Lately I have seen many videos here about steps to having a better relationship with your in-laws: steps to dealing with your mother-in-law,etc. They all miss the huge point: Before the couple gets engaged, they must sit down and discuss the mother-in-law problem that WILL emerge immediately after tying the knot. Not IF but WILL. Since statistically the vast majority of mother-in-law problems are with the bride's mother, the prospective bride must decide if, in marrying her man and starting THEIR life together, she's going to be a woman or a girl regarding her mother. I've been there. The only way a mother-in-law can do all the destructive damage, manipulation,etc., is if her daughter (or sometimes son) allows her to. That's it ! All the wondering about how to deal with mother-in-law problesms after the marriage is a sign it wasn't dealt with before the engagement. When speaking of "in-law problems" these problems are usually the domineering mother-in-law and a weak father-in-law who won't step up to the plate and make his wife knock it off. So, most of these problems with in-laws are actually mother-in-law induced. Lady planning to get married: don't insult your boyfriend's heart and love for you by being a girl.
BROTHER TN she’s talking about HER situation-do you know about her situation? Good daughter in laws can’t make in-Laws good people. Either they want to be, or they don’t.
@@neverwhere1391 …the senior member is the one in control to begin with, usually the matriarch of the family. A power hungry matriarch is a nightmare to be related to.
Amen! Simple solution...lock your doors & keep them locked! You can work around this, even w/ kids coming in & out. No way would I put up w/ any extended family just walking in my home...Boundaries. I have a large flat garden stone just outside my front door. It says "Friends Welcome, Relatives By Appointment". Yes, it's announcing this boundary, I meant it 18 yrs ago when I bought it & it still holds just as true today. ❤ Btw, one day when my MIL looked @ the sign w/ a friend of mine standing there, MIL said, "That's not for me". I said, "Oh but it IS.. exactly for you".
Im a new subscriber. I hate my mil she's a covert narcasisst. She's critical constanly, unsolicited advice, controlling and passive aggressive. She's always victimizing herself. Can't communicate properly, doesn't deal with any problems that come up. Sweeps it under rug. No empathy period. Tries to pit us against eachother. I can't really talk to her. She didn't treat me like a valid human being . No respect period
My inlaws are going to assisted living then nursing home. Years ago I was willing to care for them, until they showed their true colors and became extremely controlling, disrespectful of boundaries, and really petty when they didnt get their way. I had to cut them off as they escalated their behavior.
My hubby’s mother turned up at our house, after being told to stay away! I had already spotted ‘Red Flags’ from our first meet. I have made a point of staying away from her in more recent years, not visiting her-and her arse of a husband-and have not invited them here. She would always phone up giving us dates she could visit!! The sheer nerve of her. She knows she is being blocked from turning up when she wants to BY ME! Tough! She is not part of our family/home life. She has her own and she should focus on that.
I’m dealing with the mean “MIN” and in our almost 12 years of marriage I have had a lot of issues with my MIL but the biggest is the way she treats me and my children because we are not biologically blood related and even though she’s been in my kids lives since they were 2 and 4 she has been cold and unfair for the past 5 or 5 years!!! Please help
My In laws were the best they watched my children from the age of 4 months old and I was totally blessed to have them .they are both gone now and we all miss them very much but they will always be in our hearts
It’s definitely hard when you explain what you want and try for those boundaries and nothing is respected and understood and then the relationship continues to be toxic.
totally agree
I agree my mil is a covert narcasisst . Thinks she should be treated better then anyone and everyone. She don't like that i am opinionated and have feelings that don't agree with her. The best thing is she lives 1 hr away .
My Mil has been telling my husband that i don't really love him....and yes we live with her and my sil. They have been against me and our relationship from the beginning. Yes we pay rent...yes we pay bills and we aren't yet in a position to move and she frankly needs us to help her with bills. I feel so trapped and alone. I moved to a different state to be with him and i don't really know anyone here.
@@cynthiamarquez3370 i feel bad for you i really do
@@cynthiamarquez3370….move out and far away immediately
You mentioned you have troubles with in-laws in the past and then everything was fine. I consider you are now positive about that because today you are the "Mother in-law"
Her mother in law is now dead and father-in-law’s almost dead. In laws probably helped them raise and pay for the 8 kids. She got a lot out of it but no mention of that.
🗽🎶❤When i just got married we started to live together with my in -Lows in tiny apartment. It was a HELL. !!! My husband 's mom hated me (and my mom!) and she was not shy talking about it loudly! Every day was something that eritated her! My husband always tried his best for improving situations but it was helpless. After 9 years we finally got our own housing. And we started pretty good relationship. They were welcome to our house always! All of us never reminded bad time and any offenses. Mom (like i called her) helped me with kids( Father was still working) and with some chores, and i was VERY grateful. And we NEVER argued anymore. GOD SAVE THER SOULS!
Thank you! That was quite encouraging. I'd be giving a talk on how to get along with your in-laws. This adds to what I already knew.
Lately I have seen many videos here about steps to having a better relationship with your in-laws: steps to dealing with your mother-in-law,etc. They all miss the huge point: Before the couple gets engaged, they must sit down and discuss the mother-in-law problem that WILL emerge immediately after tying the knot. Not IF but WILL. Since statistically the vast majority of mother-in-law problems are with the bride's mother, the prospective bride must decide if, in marrying her man and starting THEIR life together, she's going to be a woman or a girl regarding her mother. I've been there. The only way a mother-in-law can do all the destructive damage, manipulation,etc., is if her daughter (or sometimes son) allows her to. That's it ! All the wondering about how to deal with mother-in-law problesms after the marriage is a sign it wasn't dealt with before the engagement. When speaking of "in-law problems" these problems are usually the domineering mother-in-law and a weak father-in-law who won't step up to the plate and make his wife knock it off. So, most of these problems with in-laws are actually mother-in-law induced. Lady planning to get married: don't insult your boyfriend's heart and love for you by being a girl.
I wish I had good in-laws.
Queen Z your in-laws also wish they had a good daughter in law
BROTHER TN she’s talking about HER situation-do you know about her situation? Good daughter in laws can’t make in-Laws good people. Either they want to be, or they don’t.
@@neverwhere1391 …the senior member is the one in control to begin with, usually the matriarch of the family. A power hungry matriarch is a nightmare to be related to.
You are such a kind and awesome daughter in law ❤️
It's not appropriate to walk into anyone's home. I guarantee her MIL does not do that to her best friend. My adult kids don't do that.
Amen! Simple solution...lock your doors & keep them locked! You can work around this, even w/ kids coming in & out. No way would I put up w/ any extended family just walking in my home...Boundaries.
I have a large flat garden stone just outside my front door. It says "Friends Welcome, Relatives By Appointment".
Yes, it's announcing this boundary, I meant it 18 yrs ago when I bought it & it still holds just as true today. ❤
Btw, one day when my MIL looked @ the sign w/ a friend of mine standing there, MIL said, "That's not for me". I said, "Oh but it IS.. exactly for you".
Lolita hanks yup, people hate that today because most people keep their house freakin’ dirty
Im a new subscriber. I hate my mil she's a covert narcasisst. She's critical constanly, unsolicited advice, controlling and passive aggressive. She's always victimizing herself. Can't communicate properly, doesn't deal with any problems that come up. Sweeps it under rug. No empathy period. Tries to pit us against eachother. I can't really talk to her. She didn't treat me like a valid human being . No respect period
Thank you
My inlaws are going to assisted living then nursing home. Years ago I was willing to care for them, until they showed their true colors and became extremely controlling, disrespectful of boundaries, and really petty when they didnt get their way. I had to cut them off as they escalated their behavior.
My hubby’s mother turned up at our house, after being told to stay away! I had already spotted ‘Red Flags’ from our first meet. I have made a point of staying away from her in more recent years, not visiting her-and her arse of a husband-and have not invited them here. She would always phone up giving us dates she could visit!! The sheer nerve of her. She knows she is being blocked from turning up when she wants to BY ME! Tough! She is not part of our family/home life. She has her own and she should focus on that.
I’m dealing with the mean “MIN” and in our almost 12 years of marriage I have had a lot of issues with my MIL but the biggest is the way she treats me and my children because we are not biologically blood related and even though she’s been in my kids lives since they were 2 and 4 she has been cold and unfair for the past 5 or 5 years!!! Please help
My In laws were the best they watched my children from the age of 4 months old and I was totally blessed to have them .they are both gone now and we all miss them very much but they will always be in our hearts
Don't worry too much just do your work that is taking care of yourself and family . this time will pass soon u will have good time