I haven't been told directly, but when I had my psychological evaluation, the psychologist confidently told my mom that I'm not autistic, which my mom later relayed to me. However, his reasoning was, and I quote, "He has friends, so he's not autistic." Obviously, that is terrible and outdated reasoning (considering he diagnosed me with ADD rather than the more modern ADHD Inattentive Type, I believe he was using an outdated DSM). So, neither my mom nor I bought it, and even though I haven't been diagnosed, we're quite confident I'm autistic despite being told otherwise, I just need a re-diagnosis with up-to-date material.
@KingNedya This is vaguely what happened to my spouse. Their mom has suspicions but figured they had friends and was doing well in school so it couldn't be. Fast forward to the age of 31 and their therapist just, like, told them: "You know you're autistic, right? We can run tests but I'm quite certain." Diagnosis: autism.
4:12 Also that theory runs into this very interesting contradiction where two truly androgynous people dating is both straight and gay at the same time
@@boingooingo3317 like not exactly in the center which would be completely androgynous, but a bit more masculine than that lets say this is the scale of femininity to masculinity 🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙 🩷=fem 💛=center 💙=masc 💚=them, slightly masc of center
@solangelo_klanceicantdecide sweetie no they meant they didn't get what was a joke about it, the joke is that it's a play of words on "center of mass" :')
@@Emma-Maze first of all you dont know me so dont call me sweetie, second of all I dont think thats what they meant because "slightly left/right of center" is just a phrase people use to describe something's location like when they say "ughhh that banner is bothering me, its just slightly left of center can you fix it?"
God I skipped like 5 steps. They were like "I'm gonna sound crazy for this" but nah, my brain already went to "how much gender" like it's already intuitive in my brain, the opposite of a gender is ALL the gender.
this is how birdo and yoshi are straight cus yoshi is like dead center in the no gender zone and birdo is like in the mid-fem range with a shit ton of gender
To me it's the opposite. Like, yeah, I get that sex is one thing, and gender's more of a personal philosophy of the self/identity, but... Is gender a fucking currency????? How is it all????? Or nothing???? Something???? What?????
@@ericraululyeetusdelyeetus5028 i think its more like how you present your gender. a random guy wearing normal clothes would be closer to the bottom while a lumberjack bear with a long beard would be closer to the top
Yeah I think the example of her image dating a person with so robust of genders is very straight enough to me In acquaintance to gender fluidity, we gotta acknowledge gender burstity someday :3c
They recently published a report in BC on the effectiveness of SOGI in schools. I read it, and early on it says "only 6% of non-binary students identify as straight or heterosexual", and I was like "who are these students and can I interview them?"
I knew someone in college who would qualify for this: afab nonbinary (specifically bigender), exclusively attracted to men and they self-identified that attraction as heterosexual
@@calvindogwhistle-coqui3673 I've met people like this who strongly identify as hetero, it felt like they just wanted to avoid label of women because of what it supposedly includes. To me that should be more on society to allow freedom of what constitutes a woman. Like if you're never more masc than a lesbian woman who clearly identities as female then it feels like unnecessary label-fitting
Some people identify as nonbinary because they don't strongly feel a sense of gender identity, and just kinda roll with what their body is by default. So an amab person who doesn't feel a strong sense of gender identity and is attracted to women might identify as straight. Honestly, it's very far from how I experience gender, as someone who is exclusively nonbinary, but people are allowed to describe their experiences in their own words.
Let's be real. Anyone can identify as whatever they want. And once they identify as something, they can define it however they want, and nobody is allowed to gatekeep any identity. Nobody is allowed to tell someone who identifies as non-binary that they can't also be straight.
Im not as physically androgynous as someone like bella ramsey or the other "no gender" examples (so wild that with a body that went through a T dominated puberty and arent doing HRT basically the only way people will recognize you as non-binary is when you're wearing women's clothing, something i do, but not exclusively) so I often get incorrectly clocked as a cis man, and I'm dating a bi cis-woman, so im also usually incorrectly clocked as straight. So my relationship exists in this constant state of superposition of it being super gay in the presence of no external observers, but as soon as a straight person sees us the waveform collapses to a straight relationship.
So you're fighting the battle against being a "straight couple" on two fronts, you being nonbinary, your partner being bi. Good on you! Straight people really need to learn it could be anyone, even the ones they think are one of them. We have infiltrated them and they have to accept we are everywhere! (Okay, I'll stop being overly dramatic and having fun now, I don't want any right wing people see this and take it too seriously)
looking at that graph, trying desperately to find where i fall on it as a genderfluid-flux person(both the gender and the intensity of that gender fluctuate). if i wanted to be straight id have to be attracted to a constantly moving target. luckily for me, im bi so i can just say im gay in every direction lol.
"It's also a question of how much gender someone is" THANK YOU from this intersex bundle of mysteries, who finally, finally, after 42 years, stopped trying to do gender at all and became comfortable not having one.
I thinl the problem lies in the social construction/perception of heterosexuality. When you say "straight", it is already assumed that this is about a cis het allo person. So a relationship with at least one queer person won't "feel straight" cause it doesn't fit the norms of straight relationships. At the same time, we can have for example 2 bi man and woman dating or a trans person that passes as cis and they will have basically the same treatment of any straight person and have their queerness hided/ignored. So yeah, as a transmasc nb that leans a lot more to masc and likes girls, that fucks up my head. (but now I just exist and if anyone ask me my sexuality I'll just say "somehow straight" and move on)
this is valid you dont have to fit any sexual preferences mold to be LGBTQIA+ its not LGB we've got asexuals and intersex people of various identities and sexual orientations and straight binary trans people, why not straight nonbinary people. as a trans person I'm kind of over sexual orientation labels anyway cause I'm like probably the most conservative-angering person in a room of cisgender queer people regardless if I'm straight or what, I don't feel the need to make a decision between bi and pan for any real actual reason when I'm also acespec and it's the most confusing thing it could possibly be, and I (personally) still think of bi and pan is basically synonyms. (to each their own of course). I feel like the fundamental problem is that sexual identity labels were built for cis people fancying other cis people. this is not me bringing up the "bisexual is enbyphobic" discourse again, I mean that all of them besides maybe pan, which sort of lucks into it by being nonspecific, are bad descriptors that are confusing to apply to us even as we nonbinary people try to use them ourselves, not that using them is hate speech or something. clunky language happens as we learn new things about the world that don't fit the models the language was made to describe. it happens. gay people wanting a way to call themselves gay and organize around that and find each other makes a lot of sense, I'm not saying "abolish gay". I don't know what the solution to this is, maybe for everyone to carry around graphs the kind we're workshopping and box out the fields of people theyre attracted to lmao (to be clear this is a joke that sounds like a lot of work, but being able to think about sexuality in more specific terms than a checklist of are you attracted to men women both or neither could be interesting for especially cis people to try to explore if they feel comfortable and might save them some confusion if they date a nonbinary person in the future.) umm anyway rant over o7
This performance genuinely enlightened my inner queer experience, like defining things you never even knew you were always aware of. Non-binary art and comedy is so brutally under represented to the point I did not even know it could exist. Everything you described is something I dwell on a lot as a queer person. Thanks for being a pioneer and a real G, respect.
I've thought about this and you left out one angle: Attracted to differenCE. I.e. if you're attracted to someone specifically for being more or less masc or femme or androgynous than you (in whatever subjective regard), then that's a hetero attraction, and if you experience that with consistency and can't seem to find someone attractive if they are too much like you in that same regard, then you are heterosexual. And inversely, if what you are attracted to is similarity to some aspect of your own gender or lack thereof, then you are homosexual. Great presentation in any case. I was amused.
@@ChromeSkeletons Well...not straight, no, but maybe not on the far end of homosexual. A fem twink who is exclusively attracted to masc bears is into a specific combination of likeness and difference. It's a homosexual attraction with perhaps some slight heterosexual flavoring if you wanna be pedantic about it. At the end of the day, all of these labels are just shorthand and if you apply too much logic to them, they eventually all fall apart, because linguistically, we love binaries. A thing either matches the description or it doesn't, is what we like to think. It's clean and simple. But they're typically oversimplifications, because reality doesn't do a lot of true binaries. Most things exist somewhere on some kind of spectrum of mostly matching some description while a little bit not quite doing so, so applying labels to things becomes more about figuring out what the most useful approximation is.
@@KarolKaru Not just being the what but the why. Being attracted to someone for a particular thing, in spite of a particular thing, or regardless of a particular thing are all different things.
I wish this could be on Smartypants on Dropout. I have had this exact conversation so many times, and I would love to have seen it presented to a wider audience of queers who like graphs.😂
Have you considered a polar graph for the gender/amount of gender? The radial direction contains all the information about how much gender someone has (the gender magnitude if you will), so the angular direction can focus on the kind of gender (the gender angle).
in which case, what is the relation to your gender that would be considered straight? i'm imagining, (1/gender , gender+[pi/2]) also what i like about this is the idea that you can be so fem that you loop back around to being masc, and vice versa
I'm also wondering where to put femboys and tomboys on here while also giving space for enbies. My idea - top half is trans and bottom half is cis. But - the cis parts don't actually connect, but rather form a bit of a spiral, with 2 braches occupying equivalent radial space but coming from different directions. So - assuming masc was 0 radians, then 0 - 3/4 pi would be a femboy and pi + 3/4 pi would be a tomboy. Although our example femboy is closer to the feminine pi, it is still coming from the masc cis side, therefore he identifies as a guy.
Huh, also what about femboy trans men?... So, they are at birth assigned pi, so we need to subtract 1 pi. Then... we can just use the same operation! So, for example: (pi -pi) - 3/4 pi. So... where am I then? 0 + 3/4 pi? 0 - 3/4 pi? (0 + pi) + 1/2 pi?... Eh, why not all of them?
very silly, love the approach. I think that straight enbies theoretically DO exist - even if i havent met any yet - because labels exist for us, not the other way around. So like however you experience gender and attraction is something very individual, and even if the best labels you can find for yourself are contradictory on the surface they're still yours to use. but anyway it's just nice to see someone talk about gender like this, strangely validating
youve met one now !! im agender and although im aroace i tend to get really strong aesthetic attraction to men, which i call het because it neither feels gay nor bi LOL. the way im attracted to men feels like a girl who would kick her legs and write in her journal about a boy crush, even if im not a girl myself haha
I feel like people here forget that “nonbinary” is an UMBRELLA term, it quite literally is talking about ALL gender identities that fall outside the direct binary of “male” and “female” Demiboys is an example of this- a nonbinary person who only identifies as a boy some of the time, or only partially This person might call themselves heterosexual if their attraction is exclusively to women But also nonbinary can mean someone who is Agender, without a gender/androgynous in gender Amongst many other identities, so it makes sense the nature of their self described sexuality would be fluid and variable
im nonbinary and bi but i DO sometimes feel like im straight for all genders in the same way that some people feel like they're gay for all genders. Like I was so boy crazy and obsessed with heteronormative romance as a kid that I do want to be a woman's boyfriend or a man's girlfriend.
This is the first time I've seen anyone else bring up the Y-axis of gender, but as a genderfluid who is constantly all over the place, I can confirm it's 100% true.
I am Gender Fluid and Greysexual, so the Y axis on both gender and sexuality is highly appreciated. Because, yes, it's not just about how masculine/feminine you feel or like your partner, but also it's about the intensity of it.
I’m cis but the Y axis of “how much gender” was actually incredibly validating about how I feel about my own gender. 🤔 Like I’m not NOT a woman, but maybe just 70% saturation.
I'm a demigirl which is a non-binary identity. I only feel partially like a woman, but mostly like I'm genderless. (It can vary on some days, like my gender and levels of dysphoria can be quite fluid). How much gender thing is really interesting. I'm probably at 30-50% depending on the day, the rest is the void i think.
Just want to point out that it isnt reflection across the y=x line, its reflection across the perpendicular of the line that runs from you to the origin. ... I'm not Autistic, my mother had me tested!
*technically* they did say across the x- and y-axes, which is tantamount to across the perpendicular line through the origin, but i actually like the reflection across the line x=y better that would mean their hetero partner would be hyper femme, but in a totally average gender way, which seems more right to me?
I enjoyed this video. Hypothesis -You decide your own gender. -Society ultimately decides if it's straight, and you might get more than one answer because society is comprised of more than one person. Ultimately being straight or not is irrelevant to an individual (unless it reinforces identity) because once you've met your forever person no definition really matters. Almost anyone who might know me is going to say heterosexual male. I am married to someone who identifies as a woman and we have kids. I am an agender, gray-ace, and I ultimately don't care what anyone calls it. The only queer vibes I ever gave off were before college when bullies called me gay, and after college when people didn't understand anything about my signals (I may be ASD and I am ADHD; a friend called me enigmatic), but I gave off no signals because I didn't know what ace was, trans was a mental condition, I am possibly ASD and engaging in a lot of mimicry, and at the end of the day I am not sure how much gender and sexuality mean to my identity.
TECHNICALLY yes. It was mentioned in the video briefly (its a comedy thing, I get it, just trying to get to the point, but here I go: ) Non-binary gender identity is different from every other gender, including other non-binary people, since the expression of the gender is a very particular thing. Heterosexuality means attraction to a gender other than your own. So even if two non-binary people are together, they could consider themselves to be in a hetero relationship just by definition alone, since non-binary could mean so much for being an umbrella term. Having that said, as a non-binary person (slightly of center masc) you wouldn't caught me dead calling myself straight, but would definitely respect a fellow enby that does (even if I'll definitely judge silently in my brain for myself, my thoughts are my own and I can't be punished by that).
Honestly I thought I was confused when I thought I was a straight cis male. Now I identify as non binary and don't know if I'm technically queer or not. I've only been in " hetero" relationships. I do not think I could date a man as I am not attracted to them. I have an attraction to non binary individuals, and women. What even am I????
What do you mean you can't be punished for that? Does your brain not explode into civil war every time you think of something rude, overly judgemental or offensive?
@@Specialistkay ur totally queer (positive)!!! the T is in lgbt for a reason :] also, you dont need to have an orientation label! labels should be whatever feels right and makes you happy, and you can always just say 'i like women and enbies' if someone asks haha. if you ever do go on a label search just remember that you can always change it up later if it starts to feel wrong ^_^
@@Specialistkay If you still wanna be associating with it, if your dynamic needs still seem like you need both to be vastly different in some significant way & complementing each other, then by all means. I'm gay af even my bromance wire & serious thirst wire is flipped opposite to how the straights are
I was feeling so called out at the end there but then I remembered I have been attracted to a man who was noticeably shorter than me and a woman who was ever so slightly taller than me so I think I am skirting by on a technicality
As a gender fluid person, I am glad someone out their has the same ideas about The Gender Spectrum as me. When you brought out the masc-fem slider, I felt like it was missing a no-all gender y axis. Then you whipped it out and I was delighted.
As a very, very (very) tall non-binary person the final metric doesn’t do much for me because by that logic dating anyone more femme than me makes me straight (cause they can’t be taller than me unless I were to date Britney Griner but she seems happy where she is so who am I to insert myself) and dating anyone more masc than me immediately makes me gay (because once again, statistically speaking they are not taller than me) which is disheartening as an amab who due to their height in particular has a hard time ever getting anyone to read them as anything other than purely male. Literally had a job interview where they had my application which has my pronouns on it and still kept calling me Mr. and using he/him despite the fact that their hiring policy literally says to submit your pronouns and so I ask and they go “oh yea no we read that but then we saw you and figured you must have clicked wrong or not changed it from the default or something” and like ok how’s that supposed to make me feel here?
i cant help but notice the less gender part is just... people in suits with short hair? which feels... just masc??? and the more gender part tends to be feminine even on the man side
probably tied to how in western society femininity is seen as something that is "performed" as opposed to masculinity which is seen as a "natural" thing, in the sense that a guy could just exist and be deemed masculine but a woman has to do things like put on tons of makeup and needs to talk or act a specific way to be deemed feminine by most people
@@realdavestrider Traditional women going out for an event: Colourful mix of styles and expressions Traditional men going out for an event: Clone troopers
Yes, I was super confused by this too. To my mind, the upper-right hand corner should have had, like, a cowboy in it or something. And if a woman with a pixie cut is into wearing suits, then her gender presentation (NOT identity, but presentation), is indeed closer to androgynous, and is more mid-level in amount of gender, rather than low-level.
You've saved yourself a lot of headache, trust me. I might be aro-ace as well, not too sure about it yet, but since I've had feelings I've interpreted as attraction before and that for people of multiple genders, the thought of being in a "straight" relationship with a man (I'm afab and still have insecurities about my gender identity) actually gives me gender dysphoria. Weirdly enough the thought of being in a "lesbian" relationship doesn't feel as bad, it's probably because that queerness compliments the queerness of being nonbinary while "being straight" would eradicate that queerness. It's a it of a mindfuck to be honest, you're not missing out
@@spacenoodle8207 Thanks :) I'll probably feel like a part of this community no matter what, it has played such a big role in my sexuality journey. So whether I'm actually somewhere on the aro-ace spectrum or not, I will be providing garlic bread and help invade Denmark. Also, I really like your profile picture, it's amazing!
@@alexelion7084I feel similar to you. A sapphic relationship I would be comfortable in, but not a straight one. The thought of a straight relationship gives gender dysphoria.
This video actually helped me a lot because I'm an AMAB nonbinary person and I always struggled that I dress to masc, but I wasn't even sure if it was that masc, and I wasn't really sure how to explain it. I think it's that I just don't have much gender (y-axis). Honestly didn't think I would actually be able to learn something new from this video, but good video!
5:05 "which is why I think it's not just a question of what gender someone is, I think it's a question of how *much* gender someone has" had me clapping like a seal 😂
all in good fun but ngl feels kind of sexist to make "lots of gender" exclusively feminine and "no gender" exclusively people wearing masculine clothes. really feels like the sexist idea of seeing male/masculine as default and female/feminine as "other".
That’s CRAZY because I came up with the “amount of gender” thing too!! Like I realized that it’s less important to me personally which gender I identify with, but rather how much of it I have (none)
i haven’t started watching yet and just want to say that i have no clue whether this is a genuine lecture or stand-up comedy but as a nonbinary person i’m so excited to find out
i've often said that, for an agender, being attracted to someone with any gender is straight, as any would be the opposite of none. weirdly no one seems to take this seriously
I've never met an enby who identifies as straight. I have, however, met many enbies, including myself, who publicly identify as gay despite technically being bi/pan which probably deserves it's own powerpoint
Well I'm NB and tend to publicly identify as straight even though I'm queer. It's just a convenience thing since I don't really want to get into it. For me it's because I'm in a long term relationship that seemed like it was straight at the beginning, but 5 years I start transitioning NB and I'm realising all the ways it's queer. Of course now the relationship has historical baggage. I don't know if that makes sense?
I love this and I can't wait to show it to all my friends. Also I would like to share with you my favorite slur for straight people, learned from the Fear& podcast, "Straggot"
My jaw almost dropped when I saw your gender plane! It's something I also like to draw to explain the fact that I'm non-binary to other people (except with a different approach for the y axis). Now I'd like to incorporate yours into mine and have lika a 3D space for gender 😂 Great presentation, loved it❤
I now understand why people say heterosexuality should be defined on the basis of sex and not gender. Going by gender, you really end up with inherently self contradictory statements as soon as you introduce non-binary people. This was mildly enlightening.
I honestly feel that terms like homo and heterosexuality are outdated in any serious context. You are attracted to who you are attracted to, pretty much regardless of gender and regardless of how you define your sexuality. A “straight man” for example could be attracted to a non binary person who is afab and presents femininely despite them not being women. The concept of homo and heterosexuality only works if you assume that gender is more than just a social construct. Same goes for pretty much all other sexualities out there as they are based off of gender instead of the actual thing we find sexually attractive which are certain physical characteristics. EDIT: Behaviours and personality of course play a huge role in attraction as well but the point was more so that homo and heterosexuality base themselves off of your own gender which doesn’t necessarily play a part in your attraction to others.
I think the key point is that >90% of human society does assume that gender is *more* than a social construct. And I don’t see the needle moving on that substantially for a long time. (Like 3 generations/75 years would be optimistic.) So I think the way they, in the video, outlined homo/heterosexuality as the amount of “gay vibes” is both useful and very on-the-pulse of our current cultural moment. Especially among the under-40s crowd where there’s a high level of LGBT pride/acceptance but also lots of so-called “heteronormativity”. So maybe in some objective sense you might be onto something and the term is ultimately meaningless, but when it comes to social relationships and being able to find your crew and communicate with them effectively, differentiating between straightness and gayness is incredibly valuable. Recent quote from CJ the X that I really vibe with: “A few people need to agree with you, or else it doesn't *function* as a social signal.” (With ‘it’ referring to a bold, stylish outfit you’re trying to pull off.)
some people are attracted to presentation not parts tho. and some people are attracted to both, i.e. only dating people that specifically have masc presentation and vagina (masc lesbians for example). and some people are attracted to certain behaviors associated with gender too. but yes it’s way more complicated than our labels, as per usual
@@chesspiece4257 Of course, straight men can be attracted to trans women for example. The point was more so that the social construct of gender isn’t actually what determines our attraction, but specific characteristics.
@@falseprofit9801 You’re correct. Personally however, I find it confusing to some degree when people try to define things which are not necessarily definable due to being socially constructed. I really like your point about labels helping us find community however. I do also acknowledge that the video is for comedy but the topic was interesting. Stay safe. ❤️
It's always been a head canon of mine that two agender people make a heterosexual couple, and two bigender people make a heterosexual couple if they're wired in series but a homosexual couple if they're wired in parallel Jokes aside though, I feel like the terminology used by the LGBTQ+ community is in serious need of some changes. The whole 'straight vs bi vs gay' thing comes from the acceptance of a gender binary and really doesn't factor in the experiences of gender queer people. As evidenced by the fact that one slur for straight people is 'breeders', implying that any couple that doesn't have a cisgender man and woman can't qualify as heterosexual even if there is an unambiguously masc one and unambiguously fem one.
Why does this have no comments two days later? This essay is essential to all none-binary people (source-im one), and should be immediately publish as scientific. There is no such thing as straight non-binary unless it's vibe based, and I'm the one judging the vibes. Sorry, I'm not the one who made the rules. Go complain to god, you're gay now.
Fr. Also can't help but wonder how capitalism also influences these things, since the idea of femininity/"Lots of Gender" expressed here also only exists because we live in heavily consumer based societies where the fashion and makeup industries make a giant buck out of selling this image of "gender expression" to people, be them cishet or LGBT. Not that the other group they mentioned isn't susceptible to become tools for consumerism in other areas as well, but this particular aspect seems to be something that flies way too much under the radar in these discussions.
See, I'm afab genderfluid but consider myself essentially heterosexual because no matter what my gender is at any given time, I prefer to present femme, and am attracted to intense masculine energy in amab people. So a lot of the time, I'm in drag and feeling cute. 💃✨
This video just gets more and more convoluted, in the funniest way possible. Absolute cinema, not to mention valid proof that gay people are hilarious.
When I saw the title and thumbnail I knew I needed this in my veins but watching the video was good enough. Neuroqueer PowerPoints to nourish the soul. Bless up my bigender brothers who are gay both ways.
In my opinion, Enby people can be heterosexual/straight. If for no other reason than that language is not an indestructible monolith, and labels are not there to define who we are. They are tools we made to help explain our experiences to other people. As such, a non-binary person can be completely straight.
As an agender person, I have given up trying to understand sexuality and feel *dangerously* seen by this. The lightheartedness takes some stress off something I've struggled heavily with as someone who identified as very gay when I still thought I was cis, so thanks. Less worrying means more time to go kiss some boys
I know this is just a comedy skit, but I'd just like to point out that nonbinary heterosexuality can, in fact, exist. Nonbinary people are not automatically "a little gay" no matter what gender they like, and they're not automatically straight either. A NB-person's attraction to a particular gender being gay or straight depends on a case-by-case basis. I personally am genderfluid and I consider my attraction to men to be very gay, but that doesn't mean every genderfluid person who's exclusively attracted to men is a homosexual. It also doesn't make it automatically gay for men to be attracted to me either, although they are more likely to since I present fairly masculine. Relationships involving a queer person can be queer without being literally gay. Labels for sexuality can be tricky sometimes if youre a NB-person who isnt attracted to multiple genders. It really comes down to whether or not you feel your attraction is gay or not 🤷♂️ At the end of the day, just respect what terms people like to use to describe their sexual/romantic orientation regardless of gender :))
How about "it's straight when the people involved consider it straight" because some nb people do identify as straight and it's not really anyone else's business
The double axis, even if it ultimately proved incomplete for this purpose, feels like the perfect tool to explain what's happening with my gender right now. Basically, I'm transitioning from kinda fem hardly gender to very fem very gender.
"I've never had a doctor confidently tell me that I *don't* have autism" is such a feeling 😂
Word. Especially when you write a theory you know is absolutely mad scientist lvl shit.
The panel of psychologists who evaluated me with dozens of tests over a 13 hour day were unable to rule out autism or confirm that I have it.
I haven't been told directly, but when I had my psychological evaluation, the psychologist confidently told my mom that I'm not autistic, which my mom later relayed to me. However, his reasoning was, and I quote, "He has friends, so he's not autistic."
Obviously, that is terrible and outdated reasoning (considering he diagnosed me with ADD rather than the more modern ADHD Inattentive Type, I believe he was using an outdated DSM). So, neither my mom nor I bought it, and even though I haven't been diagnosed, we're quite confident I'm autistic despite being told otherwise, I just need a re-diagnosis with up-to-date material.
@KingNedya This is vaguely what happened to my spouse. Their mom has suspicions but figured they had friends and was doing well in school so it couldn't be. Fast forward to the age of 31 and their therapist just, like, told them: "You know you're autistic, right? We can run tests but I'm quite certain." Diagnosis: autism.
That joke is really offensive to me if this person doesn't actually have autism
4:43 "I don't think one axis is enough, and here's Y" is a spectacular play on words that I will be attempting to sneak into my work at some point
Oh my god I didn't even catch that, that's amazing thank you for highlighting it lmao
Damn. I didn't catch that either. Excellent play.
Oh god that's so good. That's a Terry Pratchett level pun!
I don't get this, could someone explain?
@@laxsjo.1d has one axis, x
2d has two axises, x and y
y happens to sound quite a bit like why, right?
god-tier algorithm pull
REALLL
"Hm what's this"
Got to the graphs and yup, this video was for me!
agreed lol
Real
666th like
I always thought of this theory as Schrödinger's heterosexuality
As someone who has regretted choosing Physics as a major subject in high school and is also nonbinary I love this 🐈
That's been my internal theory for months and I'm so glad someone has a name for it
ofc ralsei would comment this
Please give consent for me to say that I love you for that.
Omg that’s exactly what I thought as I watched the video!
4:12 Also that theory runs into this very interesting contradiction where two truly androgynous people dating is both straight and gay at the same time
In mathematics this kinda thing happens a bunch. Two things we want to think of as opposites can sometimes coincide. Love when things are not a binary
Oh darn! there goes the origin, ruining all of our mathematical and gender theories
not really a contradiction, we never declared that straight(x)=¬gay(x)
If graph-based yes, if vibes-based it feels very gay.
@@thezipcreator Straightgay relationships are like clopen sets, then.
If i had to describe this with a noun phrase it would be "philosophical shitposting"
13/10
i need 3 more glass of that
The term “slightly masc of center” didn’t get enough laughs
Wait what does that mean? I cant figure it out
@@boingooingo3317 like not exactly in the center which would be completely androgynous, but a bit more masculine than that lets say this is the scale of femininity to masculinity
🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙
🩷=fem
💛=center
💙=masc
💚=them, slightly masc of center
@solangelo_klanceicantdecide sweetie no they meant they didn't get what was a joke about it, the joke is that it's a play of words on "center of mass" :')
@@Emma-Maze first of all you dont know me so dont call me sweetie, second of all I dont think thats what they meant because "slightly left/right of center" is just a phrase people use to describe something's location like when they say "ughhh that banner is bothering me, its just slightly left of center can you fix it?"
So funny like it's a political position lol
"This whole gender thing is a drag" Patti Smith
God I skipped like 5 steps. They were like "I'm gonna sound crazy for this" but nah, my brain already went to "how much gender" like it's already intuitive in my brain, the opposite of a gender is ALL the gender.
this is how birdo and yoshi are straight cus yoshi is like dead center in the no gender zone and birdo is like in the mid-fem range with a shit ton of gender
To me it's the opposite. Like, yeah, I get that sex is one thing, and gender's more of a personal philosophy of the self/identity, but...
Is gender a fucking currency????? How is it all????? Or nothing???? Something???? What?????
@@ericraululyeetusdelyeetus5028 i think its more like how you present your gender. a random guy wearing normal clothes would be closer to the bottom while a lumberjack bear with a long beard would be closer to the top
Yeah I think the example of her image dating a person with so robust of genders is very straight enough to me
In acquaintance to gender fluidity, we gotta acknowledge gender burstity someday :3c
@@Rhyolite-hyena if ur talking about the speaker their pronouns are they/them
They recently published a report in BC on the effectiveness of SOGI in schools. I read it, and early on it says "only 6% of non-binary students identify as straight or heterosexual", and I was like "who are these students and can I interview them?"
Mischievous responder bias. I bet they also have no legs and have been habitual heroin users since age 4.
I knew someone in college who would qualify for this: afab nonbinary (specifically bigender), exclusively attracted to men and they self-identified that attraction as heterosexual
@@calvindogwhistle-coqui3673 I've met people like this who strongly identify as hetero, it felt like they just wanted to avoid label of women because of what it supposedly includes. To me that should be more on society to allow freedom of what constitutes a woman. Like if you're never more masc than a lesbian woman who clearly identities as female then it feels like unnecessary label-fitting
Some people identify as nonbinary because they don't strongly feel a sense of gender identity, and just kinda roll with what their body is by default. So an amab person who doesn't feel a strong sense of gender identity and is attracted to women might identify as straight.
Honestly, it's very far from how I experience gender, as someone who is exclusively nonbinary, but people are allowed to describe their experiences in their own words.
Let's be real. Anyone can identify as whatever they want. And once they identify as something, they can define it however they want, and nobody is allowed to gatekeep any identity. Nobody is allowed to tell someone who identifies as non-binary that they can't also be straight.
Im not as physically androgynous as someone like bella ramsey or the other "no gender" examples (so wild that with a body that went through a T dominated puberty and arent doing HRT basically the only way people will recognize you as non-binary is when you're wearing women's clothing, something i do, but not exclusively) so I often get incorrectly clocked as a cis man, and I'm dating a bi cis-woman, so im also usually incorrectly clocked as straight. So my relationship exists in this constant state of superposition of it being super gay in the presence of no external observers, but as soon as a straight person sees us the waveform collapses to a straight relationship.
bro youre literally a man dating a woman😭
@@etasjo *loud buzzer sound* INCORRECT!
quantum nonbinary hetero-bisexuality ?
So you're fighting the battle against being a "straight couple" on two fronts, you being nonbinary, your partner being bi. Good on you! Straight people really need to learn it could be anyone, even the ones they think are one of them. We have infiltrated them and they have to accept we are everywhere!
(Okay, I'll stop being overly dramatic and having fun now, I don't want any right wing people see this and take it too seriously)
if you’re not medically transitioning, you are unambiguously a dude in a straight relationship. material reality matters. sorry.
Sheet, this is hilarious. Keep it up, slightly-leaning-towards-king!
Slightly-king-of-center 😂
@LimeHunter7 a certainly unfortunate position to be in in chess
@@lemonlordminecraftHAHA
I lost it when you HAD to bring in another axis.
did you see y tho? 😂
i was expecting another axis, i lost it when it was revealed to be "amount of gender"
looking at that graph, trying desperately to find where i fall on it as a genderfluid-flux person(both the gender and the intensity of that gender fluctuate).
if i wanted to be straight id have to be attracted to a constantly moving target. luckily for me, im bi so i can just say im gay in every direction lol.
“a constantly moving target” i love that lmao
straight, but only on the right day (or the wrong day)
RNG-based heterosexuality
@@sydneydaum9204 You may specify a subspace of the graph in which you move, perhaps that would be helpful.
@@starsallaroundhunter x hunter?
"It's also a question of how much gender someone is" THANK YOU from this intersex bundle of mysteries, who finally, finally, after 42 years, stopped trying to do gender at all and became comfortable not having one.
I thinl the problem lies in the social construction/perception of heterosexuality. When you say "straight", it is already assumed that this is about a cis het allo person. So a relationship with at least one queer person won't "feel straight" cause it doesn't fit the norms of straight relationships. At the same time, we can have for example 2 bi man and woman dating or a trans person that passes as cis and they will have basically the same treatment of any straight person and have their queerness hided/ignored.
So yeah, as a transmasc nb that leans a lot more to masc and likes girls, that fucks up my head. (but now I just exist and if anyone ask me my sexuality I'll just say "somehow straight" and move on)
this is valid you dont have to fit any sexual preferences mold to be LGBTQIA+ its not LGB we've got asexuals and intersex people of various identities and sexual orientations and straight binary trans people, why not straight nonbinary people. as a trans person I'm kind of over sexual orientation labels anyway cause I'm like probably the most conservative-angering person in a room of cisgender queer people regardless if I'm straight or what, I don't feel the need to make a decision between bi and pan for any real actual reason when I'm also acespec and it's the most confusing thing it could possibly be, and I (personally) still think of bi and pan is basically synonyms. (to each their own of course). I feel like the fundamental problem is that sexual identity labels were built for cis people fancying other cis people. this is not me bringing up the "bisexual is enbyphobic" discourse again, I mean that all of them besides maybe pan, which sort of lucks into it by being nonspecific, are bad descriptors that are confusing to apply to us even as we nonbinary people try to use them ourselves, not that using them is hate speech or something. clunky language happens as we learn new things about the world that don't fit the models the language was made to describe. it happens. gay people wanting a way to call themselves gay and organize around that and find each other makes a lot of sense, I'm not saying "abolish gay". I don't know what the solution to this is, maybe for everyone to carry around graphs the kind we're workshopping and box out the fields of people theyre attracted to lmao (to be clear this is a joke that sounds like a lot of work, but being able to think about sexuality in more specific terms than a checklist of are you attracted to men women both or neither could be interesting for especially cis people to try to explore if they feel comfortable and might save them some confusion if they date a nonbinary person in the future.) umm anyway rant over o7
@unrealization6478 the lgbt community doesn't care about intersx people aka people with actual real physical changes to gntls they were born with
I've heard of cis and het but what does allo mean? /Curious
@@Tr0lliPop not-asexual and/or not-a romantic
I hear you as an asexual afab nb who presents fem and likes mainly guys, feels very straight but it technically isn’t
This performance genuinely enlightened my inner queer experience, like defining things you never even knew you were always aware of. Non-binary art and comedy is so brutally under represented to the point I did not even know it could exist. Everything you described is something I dwell on a lot as a queer person. Thanks for being a pioneer and a real G, respect.
A video combining two things I love: power point comedy routines and queer theory
The purest form of queer theory, at that
I've thought about this and you left out one angle: Attracted to differenCE.
I.e. if you're attracted to someone specifically for being more or less masc or femme or androgynous than you (in whatever subjective regard), then that's a hetero attraction, and if you experience that with consistency and can't seem to find someone attractive if they are too much like you in that same regard, then you are heterosexual. And inversely, if what you are attracted to is similarity to some aspect of your own gender or lack thereof, then you are homosexual.
Great presentation in any case. I was amused.
I appreciate you this video and comment section had me really confused on if I'm actually non binary
but what about all the masc/fem gay couples out there? what about all the fem gay boys attracted masc bears?? would we call them straight?
@@ChromeSkeletons Well...not straight, no, but maybe not on the far end of homosexual. A fem twink who is exclusively attracted to masc bears is into a specific combination of likeness and difference. It's a homosexual attraction with perhaps some slight heterosexual flavoring if you wanna be pedantic about it. At the end of the day, all of these labels are just shorthand and if you apply too much logic to them, they eventually all fall apart, because linguistically, we love binaries. A thing either matches the description or it doesn't, is what we like to think. It's clean and simple. But they're typically oversimplifications, because reality doesn't do a lot of true binaries. Most things exist somewhere on some kind of spectrum of mostly matching some description while a little bit not quite doing so, so applying labels to things becomes more about figuring out what the most useful approximation is.
ooooo interesting... z axis of ... commonality? opposition? regardless, sounds good, i was trying to think what the z axis would be
@@KarolKaru Not just being the what but the why. Being attracted to someone for a particular thing, in spite of a particular thing, or regardless of a particular thing are all different things.
I wish this could be on Smartypants on Dropout. I have had this exact conversation so many times, and I would love to have seen it presented to a wider audience of queers who like graphs.😂
Theyre from collegehumor?
YES. I would love to see them on Dropout. Their comedy fits Smartypants to a T.
Have you considered a polar graph for the gender/amount of gender?
The radial direction contains all the information about how much gender someone has (the gender magnitude if you will), so the angular direction can focus on the kind of gender (the gender angle).
in which case, what is the relation to your gender that would be considered straight?
i'm imagining, (1/gender , gender+[pi/2])
also what i like about this is the idea that you can be so fem that you loop back around to being masc, and vice versa
but what are all the possible gender angles??
but why would 0 = 2*pi in this model? Does gender wrap around?
I'm also wondering where to put femboys and tomboys on here while also giving space for enbies.
My idea - top half is trans and bottom half is cis. But - the cis parts don't actually connect, but rather form a bit of a spiral, with 2 braches occupying equivalent radial space but coming from different directions.
So - assuming masc was 0 radians, then 0 - 3/4 pi would be a femboy and pi + 3/4 pi would be a tomboy.
Although our example femboy is closer to the feminine pi, it is still coming from the masc cis side, therefore he identifies as a guy.
Huh, also what about femboy trans men?...
So, they are at birth assigned pi, so we need to subtract 1 pi. Then... we can just use the same operation!
So, for example: (pi -pi) - 3/4 pi.
So... where am I then?
0 + 3/4 pi? 0 - 3/4 pi? (0 + pi) + 1/2 pi?...
Eh, why not all of them?
very silly, love the approach. I think that straight enbies theoretically DO exist - even if i havent met any yet - because labels exist for us, not the other way around. So like however you experience gender and attraction is something very individual, and even if the best labels you can find for yourself are contradictory on the surface they're still yours to use. but anyway
it's just nice to see someone talk about gender like this, strangely validating
youve met one now !! im agender and although im aroace i tend to get really strong aesthetic attraction to men, which i call het because it neither feels gay nor bi LOL. the way im attracted to men feels like a girl who would kick her legs and write in her journal about a boy crush, even if im not a girl myself haha
i was a straight enby once lmao, though my identity and label have changed since then
"I like women who are really cool and men who are there" so true lol
I feel like people here forget that “nonbinary” is an UMBRELLA term, it quite literally is talking about ALL gender identities that fall outside the direct binary of “male” and “female”
Demiboys is an example of this- a nonbinary person who only identifies as a boy some of the time, or only partially
This person might call themselves heterosexual if their attraction is exclusively to women
But also nonbinary can mean someone who is Agender, without a gender/androgynous in gender
Amongst many other identities, so it makes sense the nature of their self described sexuality would be fluid and variable
being gender fluid is under the umbrella too? /genq
None of this got neither enough oohs and aahs, nor enough straight laughter
That might be because they didn't always read out what the text said, and some people might've missed some jokes 😢
Stand-up with slides is my new favorite genre, omg 😂 I lost it at 4:15
You would probably enjoy the UA-cam video titled "Stand-up comedy routine about Spreadsheets" by Stand-up Maths
im nonbinary and bi but i DO sometimes feel like im straight for all genders in the same way that some people feel like they're gay for all genders. Like I was so boy crazy and obsessed with heteronormative romance as a kid that I do want to be a woman's boyfriend or a man's girlfriend.
1:22 finally a perfect way to describe my own sexuality
Same here buddy
This is the first time I've seen anyone else bring up the Y-axis of gender, but as a genderfluid who is constantly all over the place, I can confirm it's 100% true.
There's also a z axis at least. There's like a ton more of them.
I am Gender Fluid and Greysexual, so the Y axis on both gender and sexuality is highly appreciated. Because, yes, it's not just about how masculine/feminine you feel or like your partner, but also it's about the intensity of it.
I’m cis but the Y axis of “how much gender” was actually incredibly validating about how I feel about my own gender. 🤔 Like I’m not NOT a woman, but maybe just 70% saturation.
nice!! encountering helpful new ways of conceptualizing stuff like this is such a great feeling
I'm a demigirl which is a non-binary identity. I only feel partially like a woman, but mostly like I'm genderless. (It can vary on some days, like my gender and levels of dysphoria can be quite fluid).
How much gender thing is really interesting. I'm probably at 30-50% depending on the day, the rest is the void i think.
Just want to point out that it isnt reflection across the y=x line, its reflection across the perpendicular of the line that runs from you to the origin.
...
I'm not Autistic, my mother had me tested!
*technically* they did say across the x- and y-axes, which is tantamount to across the perpendicular line through the origin, but i actually like the reflection across the line x=y better
that would mean their hetero partner would be hyper femme, but in a totally average gender way, which seems more right to me?
I think the simplest way to describe it is a 180 degree rotation about the origin. Alternatively, a multiplication by:
(-1 0
0 -1)
@@JonathanJimbo i love to see a matrix reference in the comments of a video about gender theory lmao
@@Juli-bm7ylhow about turning this entire thing into the complex plane and multiplying by -1
I LOVE the combination of stand up and neurospicy video essay yapping (endearing) 💜
Ikr and the slight breathlessness, like this is important info
I enjoyed this video.
Hypothesis
-You decide your own gender.
-Society ultimately decides if it's straight, and you might get more than one answer because society is comprised of more than one person.
Ultimately being straight or not is irrelevant to an individual (unless it reinforces identity) because once you've met your forever person no definition really matters.
Almost anyone who might know me is going to say heterosexual male. I am married to someone who identifies as a woman and we have kids. I am an agender, gray-ace, and I ultimately don't care what anyone calls it. The only queer vibes I ever gave off were before college when bullies called me gay, and after college when people didn't understand anything about my signals (I may be ASD and I am ADHD; a friend called me enigmatic), but I gave off no signals because I didn't know what ace was, trans was a mental condition, I am possibly ASD and engaging in a lot of mimicry, and at the end of the day I am not sure how much gender and sexuality mean to my identity.
"Your forever person" sounds like a fantasy, this person may die or separate from you or whatever.
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE THIS ONE OUT FOR YEARS NOW OH MY GOD THANK YOU FOR YOUR IMPORTANT SCHOLARSHIP ON NONBINARY HETEROSEXUALITY!!!
TECHNICALLY yes.
It was mentioned in the video briefly (its a comedy thing, I get it, just trying to get to the point, but here I go: )
Non-binary gender identity is different from every other gender, including other non-binary people, since the expression of the gender is a very particular thing.
Heterosexuality means attraction to a gender other than your own.
So even if two non-binary people are together, they could consider themselves to be in a hetero relationship just by definition alone, since non-binary could mean so much for being an umbrella term.
Having that said, as a non-binary person (slightly of center masc) you wouldn't caught me dead calling myself straight, but would definitely respect a fellow enby that does (even if I'll definitely judge silently in my brain for myself, my thoughts are my own and I can't be punished by that).
wat
Honestly I thought I was confused when I thought I was a straight cis male. Now I identify as non binary and don't know if I'm technically queer or not. I've only been in " hetero" relationships. I do not think I could date a man as I am not attracted to them. I have an attraction to non binary individuals, and women.
What even am I????
What do you mean you can't be punished for that? Does your brain not explode into civil war every time you think of something rude, overly judgemental or offensive?
@@Specialistkay ur totally queer (positive)!!! the T is in lgbt for a reason :]
also, you dont need to have an orientation label! labels should be whatever feels right and makes you happy, and you can always just say 'i like women and enbies' if someone asks haha. if you ever do go on a label search just remember that you can always change it up later if it starts to feel wrong ^_^
@@Specialistkay If you still wanna be associating with it, if your dynamic needs still seem like you need both to be vastly different in some significant way & complementing each other, then by all means.
I'm gay af even my bromance wire & serious thirst wire is flipped opposite to how the straights are
I was feeling so called out at the end there but then I remembered I have been attracted to a man who was noticeably shorter than me and a woman who was ever so slightly taller than me so I think I am skirting by on a technicality
As a gender fluid person, I am glad someone out their has the same ideas about The Gender Spectrum as me. When you brought out the masc-fem slider, I felt like it was missing a no-all gender y axis. Then you whipped it out and I was delighted.
As a very, very (very) tall non-binary person the final metric doesn’t do much for me because by that logic dating anyone more femme than me makes me straight (cause they can’t be taller than me unless I were to date Britney Griner but she seems happy where she is so who am I to insert myself) and dating anyone more masc than me immediately makes me gay (because once again, statistically speaking they are not taller than me)
which is disheartening as an amab who due to their height in particular has a hard time ever getting anyone to read them as anything other than purely male. Literally had a job interview where they had my application which has my pronouns on it and still kept calling me Mr. and using he/him despite the fact that their hiring policy literally says to submit your pronouns and so I ask and they go “oh yea no we read that but then we saw you and figured you must have clicked wrong or not changed it from the default or something” and like ok how’s that supposed to make me feel here?
I'm saving this for when I come out to my boyfriend
i cant help but notice the less gender part is just... people in suits with short hair? which feels... just masc??? and the more gender part tends to be feminine even on the man side
probably tied to how in western society femininity is seen as something that is "performed" as opposed to masculinity which is seen as a "natural" thing, in the sense that a guy could just exist and be deemed masculine but a woman has to do things like put on tons of makeup and needs to talk or act a specific way to be deemed feminine by most people
@@realdavestrider Traditional women going out for an event: Colourful mix of styles and expressions
Traditional men going out for an event: Clone troopers
Yes, I was super confused by this too. To my mind, the upper-right hand corner should have had, like, a cowboy in it or something. And if a woman with a pixie cut is into wearing suits, then her gender presentation (NOT identity, but presentation), is indeed closer to androgynous, and is more mid-level in amount of gender, rather than low-level.
Huh. I'm an aro-ace non-binary, and this is fascinating. Never thought about this before...
You've saved yourself a lot of headache, trust me. I might be aro-ace as well, not too sure about it yet, but since I've had feelings I've interpreted as attraction before and that for people of multiple genders, the thought of being in a "straight" relationship with a man (I'm afab and still have insecurities about my gender identity) actually gives me gender dysphoria. Weirdly enough the thought of being in a "lesbian" relationship doesn't feel as bad, it's probably because that queerness compliments the queerness of being nonbinary while "being straight" would eradicate that queerness. It's a it of a mindfuck to be honest, you're not missing out
@alexelion7084 good luck bro, remember you're always welcome to the garlic bread party
@@spacenoodle8207 Thanks :) I'll probably feel like a part of this community no matter what, it has played such a big role in my sexuality journey. So whether I'm actually somewhere on the aro-ace spectrum or not, I will be providing garlic bread and help invade Denmark.
Also, I really like your profile picture, it's amazing!
@@alexelion7084 sounds like autoandrophilia
@@alexelion7084I feel similar to you. A sapphic relationship I would be comfortable in, but not a straight one. The thought of a straight relationship gives gender dysphoria.
I experienced a lot of confusion throughout this video, but my main takeaway is: *_You like kissing boys, don't you?_*
This video actually helped me a lot because I'm an AMAB nonbinary person and I always struggled that I dress to masc, but I wasn't even sure if it was that masc, and I wasn't really sure how to explain it. I think it's that I just don't have much gender (y-axis). Honestly didn't think I would actually be able to learn something new from this video, but good video!
“Would it be straight if an agender person and a bi/multigender person dated?” is a question I’ve had for years and I’m feeling very validated rn.
And the answer is: Probably not
In my experience if you have to ask if a thing is straight the answer is no lol
That or even just someone who has a gender.
5:05 "which is why I think it's not just a question of what gender someone is, I think it's a question of how *much* gender someone has" had me clapping like a seal 😂
all in good fun but ngl feels kind of sexist to make "lots of gender" exclusively feminine and "no gender" exclusively people wearing masculine clothes. really feels like the sexist idea of seeing male/masculine as default and female/feminine as "other".
That’s CRAZY because I came up with the “amount of gender” thing too!! Like I realized that it’s less important to me personally which gender I identify with, but rather how much of it I have (none)
Your final point is particularly astute and is something that more people should be aware of
Excuse u Gonzo is married and not to that man, justice to the chicken!!
the little shrug on the bi vs pan joke was amazing
This is off the charts funny and charming.
Really cool talk by a really charismatic person!
i haven’t started watching yet and just want to say that i have no clue whether this is a genuine lecture or stand-up comedy but as a nonbinary person i’m so excited to find out
i've often said that, for an agender, being attracted to someone with any gender is straight, as any would be the opposite of none. weirdly no one seems to take this seriously
I've never met an enby who identifies as straight. I have, however, met many enbies, including myself, who publicly identify as gay despite technically being bi/pan which probably deserves it's own powerpoint
Well I'm NB and tend to publicly identify as straight even though I'm queer. It's just a convenience thing since I don't really want to get into it.
For me it's because I'm in a long term relationship that seemed like it was straight at the beginning, but 5 years I start transitioning NB and I'm realising all the ways it's queer. Of course now the relationship has historical baggage.
I don't know if that makes sense?
I love this and I can't wait to show it to all my friends. Also I would like to share with you my favorite slur for straight people, learned from the Fear& podcast, "Straggot"
My jaw almost dropped when I saw your gender plane! It's something I also like to draw to explain the fact that I'm non-binary to other people (except with a different approach for the y axis). Now I'd like to incorporate yours into mine and have lika a 3D space for gender 😂
Great presentation, loved it❤
youtube algorithm finally giving me the good stuff
I now understand why people say heterosexuality should be defined on the basis of sex and not gender. Going by gender, you really end up with inherently self contradictory statements as soon as you introduce non-binary people. This was mildly enlightening.
Love it. Thankful for enby rep
may have just found my new favorite comedian
Ah yes, this goes into my playlist of favourite math lectures
I honestly feel that terms like homo and heterosexuality are outdated in any serious context. You are attracted to who you are attracted to, pretty much regardless of gender and regardless of how you define your sexuality. A “straight man” for example could be attracted to a non binary person who is afab and presents femininely despite them not being women. The concept of homo and heterosexuality only works if you assume that gender is more than just a social construct. Same goes for pretty much all other sexualities out there as they are based off of gender instead of the actual thing we find sexually attractive which are certain physical characteristics.
EDIT: Behaviours and personality of course play a huge role in attraction as well but the point was more so that homo and heterosexuality base themselves off of your own gender which doesn’t necessarily play a part in your attraction to others.
You’re pan like me.
I think the key point is that >90% of human society does assume that gender is *more* than a social construct. And I don’t see the needle moving on that substantially for a long time. (Like 3 generations/75 years would be optimistic.)
So I think the way they, in the video, outlined homo/heterosexuality as the amount of “gay vibes” is both useful and very on-the-pulse of our current cultural moment. Especially among the under-40s crowd where there’s a high level of LGBT pride/acceptance but also lots of so-called “heteronormativity”.
So maybe in some objective sense you might be onto something and the term is ultimately meaningless, but when it comes to social relationships and being able to find your crew and communicate with them effectively, differentiating between straightness and gayness is incredibly valuable.
Recent quote from CJ the X that I really vibe with:
“A few people need to agree with you, or else it doesn't *function* as a social signal.” (With ‘it’ referring to a bold, stylish outfit you’re trying to pull off.)
some people are attracted to presentation not parts tho. and some people are attracted to both, i.e. only dating people that specifically have masc presentation and vagina (masc lesbians for example). and some people are attracted to certain behaviors associated with gender too. but yes it’s way more complicated than our labels, as per usual
@@chesspiece4257 Of course, straight men can be attracted to trans women for example. The point was more so that the social construct of gender isn’t actually what determines our attraction, but specific characteristics.
@@falseprofit9801 You’re correct. Personally however, I find it confusing to some degree when people try to define things which are not necessarily definable due to being socially constructed. I really like your point about labels helping us find community however. I do also acknowledge that the video is for comedy but the topic was interesting. Stay safe. ❤️
It's always been a head canon of mine that two agender people make a heterosexual couple, and two bigender people make a heterosexual couple if they're wired in series but a homosexual couple if they're wired in parallel
Jokes aside though, I feel like the terminology used by the LGBTQ+ community is in serious need of some changes. The whole 'straight vs bi vs gay' thing comes from the acceptance of a gender binary and really doesn't factor in the experiences of gender queer people. As evidenced by the fact that one slur for straight people is 'breeders', implying that any couple that doesn't have a cisgender man and woman can't qualify as heterosexual even if there is an unambiguously masc one and unambiguously fem one.
HELP THAT FIRST PART TOOK ME OUTTTT 😭
Bigender people don't have to necessarily be malefemale, they can be neutrois female or male xenogender or something else
And what then, hm?
omg yes i get why people call straight people that, but like, there are straight couples who cant do that and there are gay couples who can.
The fact that "Lots of Gender" and "No Gender" made perfect sense to me is another piece of evidence towards me being autistic.
Perfect. Absolutely and utterly perfect. There is not a single flaw in all 458 seconds of this.
This is the kind of science we need. Thank you for your scholarship. 😌
Ngl this took every one of my braincells to understand but good god. What a work of art
I am so glad I got this randomly recommended. It's amazing, I need to check out more.
I think a demiboy who's attracted to women or a demigirl attracted to men could be considered heterosexual?
This video is so incredibly funny as well as making me feel so seen, it's uncanny how much I relate to things brought up here xD
I loved the line about a mental health professional never having confidently told them that they aren't autistic - me too, sibling, me too
Absolutely delightful xD
It's a question I've long been pondering, excellent to see it tackled with such academic rigor
Why does this have no comments two days later? This essay is essential to all none-binary people (source-im one), and should be immediately publish as scientific.
There is no such thing as straight non-binary unless it's vibe based, and I'm the one judging the vibes. Sorry, I'm not the one who made the rules. Go complain to god, you're gay now.
This is incredible, I needed this haha
"No gender" as masculinity and "Lots of Gender" as femininity... we are never making it out of patriarchy, are we...
Fr. Also can't help but wonder how capitalism also influences these things, since the idea of femininity/"Lots of Gender" expressed here also only exists because we live in heavily consumer based societies where the fashion and makeup industries make a giant buck out of selling this image of "gender expression" to people, be them cishet or LGBT. Not that the other group they mentioned isn't susceptible to become tools for consumerism in other areas as well, but this particular aspect seems to be something that flies way too much under the radar in these discussions.
See, I'm afab genderfluid but consider myself essentially heterosexual because no matter what my gender is at any given time, I prefer to present femme, and am attracted to intense masculine energy in amab people. So a lot of the time, I'm in drag and feeling cute. 💃✨
The boring definition of straightness is just that it's whatever is socially normative
This was pure gold thank you for your service
"I like women who are really cool and men who are there." Im not enby, but I'm bi and that was the most real thing I've ever heard in my life.
This video just gets more and more convoluted, in the funniest way possible. Absolute cinema, not to mention valid proof that gay people are hilarious.
Putting this on the syllabus. Congratualtions on storming the viva and gaining your doctorate :D
As an nb trans fem who has thout about this shit waaay too much before realizing I was trans, this hurt my sides from laughing along
This is the most attention I've ever paid to my second monitor
I think there's a lot of unexplored ground on the Z axis
When I saw the title and thumbnail I knew I needed this in my veins but watching the video was good enough. Neuroqueer PowerPoints to nourish the soul. Bless up my bigender brothers who are gay both ways.
THIS PERSON IS HILARIOUS I LOVE THIS VIDEO SO MUCH
It's a sub 100%
The only thing that makes your comedy EVEN better is the addition of visual aides. The "how much gender" bit really sent me!
In my opinion, Enby people can be heterosexual/straight. If for no other reason than that language is not an indestructible monolith, and labels are not there to define who we are. They are tools we made to help explain our experiences to other people. As such, a non-binary person can be completely straight.
lmao you've sniped me with the tall mascs and short femmes thing
As an agender person, I have given up trying to understand sexuality and feel *dangerously* seen by this. The lightheartedness takes some stress off something I've struggled heavily with as someone who identified as very gay when I still thought I was cis, so thanks. Less worrying means more time to go kiss some boys
5:12 thank you for giving me a way to explain some of what i've been struggling to explain
this was delectable thank you for your service
I know this is just a comedy skit, but I'd just like to point out that nonbinary heterosexuality can, in fact, exist. Nonbinary people are not automatically "a little gay" no matter what gender they like, and they're not automatically straight either. A NB-person's attraction to a particular gender being gay or straight depends on a case-by-case basis. I personally am genderfluid and I consider my attraction to men to be very gay, but that doesn't mean every genderfluid person who's exclusively attracted to men is a homosexual. It also doesn't make it automatically gay for men to be attracted to me either, although they are more likely to since I present fairly masculine. Relationships involving a queer person can be queer without being literally gay.
Labels for sexuality can be tricky sometimes if youre a NB-person who isnt attracted to multiple genders. It really comes down to whether or not you feel your attraction is gay or not 🤷♂️
At the end of the day, just respect what terms people like to use to describe their sexual/romantic orientation regardless of gender :))
Please don’t call me out on the Dove 3-in-1 thing.😆
The carpet: really pulls the space together , man !
How about "it's straight when the people involved consider it straight" because some nb people do identify as straight and it's not really anyone else's business
The double axis, even if it ultimately proved incomplete for this purpose, feels like the perfect tool to explain what's happening with my gender right now. Basically, I'm transitioning from kinda fem hardly gender to very fem very gender.
First, this is hilarious, I love it. Second, as a trans person... it's fun to see some advanced gender discussion in the wild!
funniest shit i've ever seen. im glad i didn't see this in person, because i would have ruined the recording by hooting and hollering the whole time