@@xtheshredderxx5473 I’m not sure what you’re saying exactly, but until this woman owns it, there is no redemption. I’m guessing your god knows her true intentions? Humility would serve her well, and a grip on reality.
It could be a mixture of things. People are complex. She got caught. She was crying because of the shame. She tied herself in a web of lies and didn't know how to get out. Hell she may have been crying partly in relief that it was finally in the light.
I feel for this guy. This happened to me 3 times with my ex wife. The first time was 35K. The second time was another 35K. The last time was over 100K. People spend money like this because they have an emotional issue. Once the trust is broken it is very difficult to fix it. Unfortunately we divorced. Life sucked for a while for me. I found Dave in 2016. Now I am on baby step #7 thanks to Dave Ramsey.
WOW! 😮 You dug yourself out of 170K in credit card debt. I know that card with 100K on it had a ridiculous payment. I used to work in the industry. Salute to you. 🥃
@@FTBASTAR Prenup only works if you get it before marriage also they can be thrown out by judge even if the prenup is fair to both parties . Its at the judge (simp) is discrection.
This poor man. He corrected himself at the beginning of the call... He said, "I... I mean WE were working to pay off debt." No, your original statement was correct. YOU were working to pay off debt. She was creating MORE debt. And lying about it. He's in shock, hasn't fully processed what happened.
I would get a copy of every single purchase on that card. You have to be able to see what she did. This could point to other infidelities you're not prepared for.
She can be a shopaholic without cheating. I am one and used to buy myself clothes. Now I just shop for samaritan purse shoeboxes bc then the stuff goes back out the door in November.
@@montymython754 hotel rooms, dinners out, gifts, lots of ways to rack up debt. Especially since the husband said he didn't see any big ticket items coming into the house. $50k in debt and no major purchases? Sounds super shady
He found out, then the water works came out. She only apologized because she was caught. If you were not so kind she would have stopped crying and started yelling at you. Dave is right, she is a deceiver. There is a lot to work through.
Lol your not gonna change someone like that.. She knew what she was doing for months and months..she's a pos. Divorce. Shoulda never got married anyway.. Still don't understand that men in this day and age get married and have kids. You wanna live paycheck to paycheck, have zero free time, high stress levels, forced overtime, annoying wife, etc.. Then the kid and be on lock for 18+ years..
IMO this is instant divorce levels of infidelity. Racking up that much high interest debt can literally destroy an entire future for a family. Like Dave said, it’s the same as if it was cheating. Either way, that level of betrayal warrants divorce. Lesson learned: be extremely careful with who you decide to marry
True story: Scout mom with two kids under 16 married a wonderful guy. He immediately took control of their finances, including investing her $20,000.00 rainy day fund. Three months into the marriage they found out she was pregnant; a week or two after that she discovered that their finances had crashed. When she confronted him, he confessed that he was a casino gambler in debt. She told him to leave. He was an elder at his church and he made a crying confession before the congregation. He deceived her and married her under false pretenses (he may have been after an income stream to pay off his gambling debts). It messed up her relationship with her kids, and the church is piling on guilt for her to submit to her husband and take him back. It was easy for my friend and I to encourage her that considering divorce was not a bad thing (we are believers), for her it is an awful situation to be in. 😧
@@goforbroke2 I agree it is difficult. At the end of 2017 I had $55,000 in credit card debit. At that time I made a plan to pay it off and paid it off completely by early 2021. It's not easy but can be done with commitment to the process and perseverance. I definitely did not take it lightly.
This woman is DANGEROUS!!! He needs to RUN and make sure that kid is his. What a disgusting thing she has done. Absolutely unacceptable. I have 3 kids and there is NO WAY she spent even half of that on a kid that isn’t even born yet. She is NUTS and so is he if he doesn’t haul a$$ from this walking red flag.
I wouldnt divorce my wife but I will make sure she pays for it ...The bills are hers so she pays for it herself...SOmeone people will divorce but I think thats a little to excessive
@@Experience1945 honestly, that type of decision making is how people look up 20yrs later with zero retirement and a lot of shoulda, coulda, wouldas. Her mentality and willingness to be deceitful is a huge deal and should not be taken lightly. It goes far beyond just money with people like her. She is a danger and should not be trusted. You don’t handle people like her with kid gloves or they will continue to run over you.
I have had two babies, and 50K is wayyyyy more than I spent on "baby stuff" for both of them combined. This woman has been ridiculous and Dave is right, there is NO excuse. This is simply a mentality of "I'm pregnant so I can do whatever I want."
If she felt she could do whatever she wanted then why bother hiding it. Just tell the guy you want this random stuff more than you want a good financial situation. Ironically, by hiding it, it shows 1. that she knows it's wrong 2. some tiny bit of respect for his opinion of her
Don't fall for the "I'm a PREGNANT "woman" crap....that was softens the situation to try to give her leeway....she very likely did NOT run up 50k over the last few months....."the baby" just gives her cover for whatever else ( and perhaps WHOEVER else) she was doing
@@marikiemarie7622so if a man fucks other women it’s not a that big of a deal. Spending days weeks and months pathologically lying and planning things behind somebodies back isn’t a big of a deal?! Yea sure
It probably wasn’t all on baby supplies, this amount probably grew through the years. When you pay the minimal payment only and the card has a 20% interest rate……..the total grows like a weed. Compounded with you keep charging things on the card.
Yeah, its not like they don't have a decent income to buy what's needed. 50k in secret is insane. Need to look at the statements to see what was charged.
My ex opted to take $4k a month in cash advances on our HELOC instead of telling me his business wasn’t bringing in money. Childish, selfish, self-serving, and narcissistic behavior. No ethics, no morals, no character. Then he walked away leaving me to take care of everything. Some people just never grow up.
He needs to get itemized copies of all her purchases and add them up to make sure they add up to $50K and then return the purchases if there is still time. Sounds like she has a shopping addiction, perhaps even a gambling addiction. Then go to counseling. Do a paternity test too.
While he was eating left overs for lunch and staying home, she was having lobster and hanging out. Unfortunately, you can't return food, cocktails and trips to the spa.
I worked with a woman and her husband found out she had forged his name and got a second mortgage on the house. He paid his final payment on the first mortgage and was expecting to get the title…. It didn’t come. His wife had spent six figures of their house over ten years. His original plan was that him and his wife were going to retire at 65 down at a lake house 2 hours away from the city. They moved there and she went to work at the front desk of a golf course paying off the house. That job is paying $17 an hour, when she was in the city she was making $90k a year as a broker. I stopped by their house a few years back and she was still working. She enslaved herself and her husband didn’t bail her out.
I wouldn’t bail her out either. My mom did the same thing to my dad, but on car loans. He didn’t bail her out. He told her to pay it off. She actually did. The only responsible thing she ever did in her life, because he didn’t coddle her, for once.
WOW! This guy needs to have a paternity test done. If the child is not his, get a divorce, let her have that $50K debt, and run for the hills. If the child is his, look into getting a good divorce attorney, and still follow the Baby Steps to protect your child's financial future from the mother.
This happened to my buddy. His wife was spending money on Botox. They’re divorced now. She’s evil as she cheated on him too. Very sad. He now is with another woman who has 3 little kids. He’s now making another mistake and getting sucked dry. He’s a mess!!!
I used to do home loans, this is way more common than most people think. Spouse are always hiding credit card debt. It’s just crazy some of the fights I saw when I pulled up credit reports.
My mom used to hide clothes, etc. from my Dad, worked up tens of thousands in credit card debt. She was handling the finances. My wife and I discuss everything. I'm an Engineer so I work the budget but communication is key. If my wife did this I would be completely shocked and devastated.
The only way this can happen to you is if you are entirely uninvolved in your household finance or your wife is an absolute lying psychopath. If you stay involved it can't really occur.
My wife is a doctor and I still work the budget lol I can't even get my wife to look at the app to see the checking account so I always have to tell her what's in it.
@andrew8168 , your argument is because a bad thing happened to someone it is completely unavoidable? Do you ever leave your house? I have a buddy who was mugged. I still go into the city. I have a sister who was hit by a car crossing the road. I still cross the road. I have a buddy who was killed by a drunk driver in a head on collision. I still drive my own car. The solution is not to be afraid to get married. The solution is to find the right person, work together as a team, and in all the other cases pay attention to what is going on.
@@zachjones2346same here. It's kind of nice to have someone completely trust you but sometimes I think to myself how easy it'll be to financially devastate her if I was evil
I was the compulsive spender in my relationship but when I learned I spend because I seek comfort it immediately opened my eyes and I have been financially wonderful once I figured out my relationship with money. Most don’t know why they spend they just hear they need to stop but people should figure out there thinking/feelings about money.
She trapped him with the baby. I can’t be the only one that sees this. I don’t like how Dave tried to get him to take responsibility for her bad spending habits. I feel for this man, counseling will not help their relationship. I hope he has a good support system, he’s going to need it.
I agree. I don't even buy clothes for the kids without telling my husband. I laughed at him because he told me he was going to buy another pair of sneakers, and this lady racked up 50K in debt behind his back? How can they rebuild trust after this, I don't know.
Not to me. Both are bad but sexual infidelity brings a 3rd person into the marriage in a very intimate way. I could forgive the financial infidelity if it is worked through but I would never forgive the other. But that's just me.
Yup. He didn't need three days before calling Dave to come to grips with financial infidelity.... he's been sweating over the possibility of carnal infidelity and whether that baby is his.
He said the baby stuff was only recent and that it was extra groceries, or so she told him that. I am sure she snuck tons of clothes in the house and has them hiding somewhere
Bullsh*t she doesn’t feel bad. She’s upset because she got caught. Yeah dude go work all the OT and you know what she is going to throw in your face? “You’re never home for me and the baby”……she’s got to go. Get a paternity test and if you managed to dodge a bullet. Take a breath, go away and cry about the hurt and most importantly LEAVE. If that child is not yours you absolutely need to go.
I had this happened to me. I tried my best to make our marriage work, but when it happens multiple times, the only solution I had left was divorce. The divorce happened 10 years ago and looking back now, me filing for divorce was the best decision I ever made. Problem is, I have little trust in having another spouse.
That's not a problem.... the problem would have been if you re-wifed up right away. I'm married to my last wife. If things go south, I'll be single moving forward.
The mother of my child basically made be leery of ever wifing up, ever. Yeah i had a kid with her, its basically the only reason i put up with her but marraige? Never happen
My wife always used an excuse that her mom gave her the money. Yet she racked up a 5k credit card bill and, sorry, but I put my foot down and took charge. We argued but guess what ... we eliminated that small debt quickly. A 50k deception!!! OMG !!!
Yes I can’t give my husband a credit card. He racked up 3k in one month. He never checked the app never called the 1-800. I put my foot down and get only cash/debit. He says I treat him like a child but that’s how he acts when he gets a credit card.
@@2jcward Thats just wild to me, I’ll never understand how people can just wrack up debt like its a game. I’m sure you have explained this to him. If we have 100$ in our checking account, we cannot afford 150$ of whatever. XD Its just common sense, or it should be.
I had the same thing with clients in my office. They we’re refinancing to finish renovations. I couldn’t qualify them because of her debt 80k on credit cards he didn’t know about. Turned out she had a big gambling problem and was floating it on credit cards. The most awkward part was trying to explain why without flat out saying what the problem was because she wouldn’t fess up and because of privacy rules I couldn’t just say why. So the look of confusion on his face while they sat across the desk was awful. She finally admitted what the problem was and I had to step out of the office while they screamed at each other for 15 minutes. The whole bank was looking at me like. What the heck is going on over there? I did give them the mortgage but everything went towards paying off her debt instead of the renovations.
This was my ex-wife all while fighting to control the household finances and then argue point of filing bankruptcy. I had gotten us out of debt and we married debt-free. We built a new house with $15K left in the bank. All while she was taking out credit in my name, spoiling her family and eating out everyday while feeding me Hamburger Helper. I refused to file bankruptcy. Then pile on infidelity. She refused counseling. Then turned up pregnant not sure who the father was. I could not trust her with another 10 years of my life. I have not and do not expect to marry again. I'm done with girlfriends. Celibate 5 years and counting. I serve the Kingdom of God. Matthew 19:11
This exact thing happened to me too. Found the collections papers in the mail and confronted her. She broke down in tears and promised it would never happen again. Happened again a couple years later. Infidelity will follow too. This is not wife/partner material. Nothing good is going to come from this marriage. Let her go bro. You’ll be 10 times better off for it. Praying for you brother.
Hey, that's why in the past, people gave expectant mother's a baby shower. That way she didn't have to buy the baby items herself. And another thing. My grandmother used to say, if you can't afford it, DO WITHOUT!
Financial infidelity. Sadly, most in these situations throw it back at the responsible party and accuse them of being controlling and financially abusive.
Yup next thing she plays the victim and tells her friends he's financially abusive and they tell her to talk to an attorney. He could lose everything yet.
Not always, my husband committed financial infidelity after 2 years of marriage. He took full responsibility for what he did and never did it again. We are now happily married 33 years.
@@georgewagner7787no... we can't jump into conclusions, she's a pathological liar. I'm sure she's done other infidelitys. This dude needs to go further down the rabbit hole.
@@georgewagner7787 But she was cruel to allow him to get that phone call from collections. In his innocence, he said there must be some mistake. A horrifying moment for him.
I wouldn’t be that sure about it. Doomed no. Very likely she got addicted to the fact that she got that “free money of use “ and have a problem of this kind. Maybe his wife is loving, kind and good woman who has a money spending problem. I wouldn’t be that critical even though the situation is bad and hard for a man to swallow.
Nope. Keep spending into bankruptcy. Dave went bankrupt. It’s a great way to clean up a mess now. And she can’t spend on credit card when they’re all turned off
problem is he will pay a lot more than just the 50k if this goes to divorce. The courts will reward the wife with alimony, child support and his pension. Not to mention the debt she created
@@martha7811depends on the judge..... Plenty of judges go rouge and just shaft the guy. You weren't aware that family and divorce courts are stacked against men?
She was crying because she got caught and was manipulating the guy. You can never trust this woman, ever. You forgive her, and she will see you as weak(er) and will become even worse because she knows you'll take it. Get rid of her.
I just listened to a Ramsey episode where the wife called crying about how her husband denied her access to the bank accounts. They didn't ask why just bashed him as a control freak...AND THEN YOU WATCH VIDEOS LIKE THIS and you see why the husband may have done it. Ramsey Solutions, good for people who are bad with money, bad for people who are good with money.
She's not likely going to help him pay that off. She has no respect for him or their household. She never said anything about it. She spent budget money and credit card money without any regard. Intergirity and self control is not there. This could be revenge, immaturity, lots of things, but the mind to fix this is an intergity driven mind. Can't force that.
Wow, this is troubling for their relationship. I had 8k on a credit card 💳 8 years ago. I could not sleep, and this guy said his wife charged 50k on a credit card. I would leave her for sneaky. They need counseling asap.
Consider?! It’s an absolute must IMO. He’s fucked no matter what he does, it’s damage limitation from here on. He needs to get a good attorney ASAP. He’ll end up having to pay for half of her mess no matter what, but that beats paying for all of it.
This story is honestly just so sad. Especially if the child is actually the result of sexual infidelity as well. Her degree of deception doesn't make that hard to believe.
As a wife and soon to be 4 children, this is insane. Husband and I both work, the most debt we ever had was 40k but that was with a car! 50k in credit is out of this world. He needs to realize this is a deep issue.
The baby is most likely not his ! Definitely get a dna test . Also if she’ll do this during a marriage , just imagine how a divorce will be . This is bad ! Leave her asap!
If she knows what she is doing, the baby absolutely is his. She probably spent most that $50k on baby stuff that he never saw. Its at her bf house or in a storage unit. She will wait till after birth, then become a monster to him till he snaps, then blame him for all the relationship problems, divorce him, take him for half of everything and then she will move on while he gets to clean up the mess, including most of the debt. He will be paying child support to her no matter what (unless he gets primary custody (yeah alrighty then), and most likely alimony as well. Or, he nips it in the bud, and divorces her, still gets to pay alimony and child support but at least will keep his sanity. No matter what hes gonna get 🪛 but at least he can do it on his terms
This episode hit home for me. My wife of 19 years passed away quickly after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2002. I discovered debt that I was unaware of but worse, I discovered many items that had been purchased that I had no knowledge of. Some were things like dozens of Time Life video tape series, a complete set of china, lots of new unworn clothes, tons of costume jewelry, watches, books, and so much more. This complicated the grieving process with anger. I have mostly recovered, speaking emotionally. I donated almost everything to charity. I retired, moved from CA to TX and became totally debt free including my home which I remain today. Your point about trust is spot on, it is as bad as infidelity.
@@gbinman I read and reread what that person wrote and I think you took it the wrong way. My take- dem meant them. I don't think the op meant any harm. :) Sorry for all you had to go through with your late wife.
If you lie to you about finances, there’s no telling what else she will lie to you about. I have first-hand experience with that Wife cheating on me, but first it was lying about finances. She had a separate bank account. I didn’t know about that way she could do whatever she wanted to without me noticing.
Bipolar mania can cause people to overspend. Pregnancy is a trigger for mania/hypomania/mood disturbance. In such a case, managing the underlying cause manages the behavior.
I feel like the wife would blame this on the pregnancy but 50k?!? Come on. Jade was trying to say how did you not know. But people who are good at hiding and lying are skilled at these deceptions. This sucks for him.
She used the money for something else. Like maybe a vacation. Or maybe she has a double life with another man. No way baby stuff and food for years cost 50K. That money went somewhere else.
My now ex-husband did this to me repeatedly. The stress was constant. I cleared our debt 3 times by buttoning up and bingo- as soon as I did he'd quit his job. I got quite ill and was told to make my end of life plans and he told me he "didn't sign up for a sick wife". Luckily, that was my "get out free" card as I realized he had no intention of honoring his vows in the same sense that I understood them. The 15 years of my marriage set me back in so many ways I cannot list them, but I gained self respect and independence of spirit and have decided to lay up my treasure in an entirely different realm. His overspending and duplicity were a real contributor to the end of that marriage. Good luck!
Crying when she gets caught, of course... First thing a woman does is child bavahor to invoke sympathy. But she wasn't crying when she was spending! When a thief steals 50.000 euros from you, you don't go working overtime to make up the difference. She is on the hook for the whole amount and has to work it off! The only way to fully breed the guilt into her is to make her sweat it out at 20 dollars per hour. Only that way will to get back the trust, but seeing her work through it. If she refuses she can hit the pavement.
This man going to work overtime to pay off crap that wasn't even his or enjoys any of it. 50,000$, mamamiyah! Hard pass on this marriage, I would be out the door.
I think that is called gaslighting, and while this guy is doing marriage counseling he should be 'secretly' talking to lawyers about divorce and a paternity test.
All women do not behave this way. Being an adult means being responsible for yourself and to others in your life. If she is not working she probably should be however with a baby coming and him working overtime it might be hard to find child care.
I never wanted to have a credit card and never had one and I am happy with this decision! Only once I needed to do a small payment via credit card as no other payment options were given. I went to my ex with the cash and he handed me his credit card. Even after divorce he knew I would never betray him. I have got no debt and never had. My partner since 2001 has got his own income and manages his own money, none of us would want to influence the other's financial decisions. How can you possibly risk your relationship due to money matters!
Caller is saying that he thinks she used the credit card for everyday items.. she spent 50k in 6mos so she used the card for the mortgage? And utilities.. Im gonna reach and say shes supporting a side life. I wouldnt blame him for not seeing 50k worth of items coming into the house if the items never came into the house.
Except Dave asked how this could be in 6 months and the guy said that it had likely been from farther back too. Still could be she's funding other shenanigans.
@@wahinepaddler4 "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop lollipop? The world may never know...." ...as in we probably will never know. They need to have a show from time to time that goes back and looks up some of these callers to see what happened.... or whether Dave's advice was followed and/or worked. THAT would be interesting as hell.
Now see…when a man tries to take control of his house mainly with finances..they call him a financial abuser. Let’s get things straight..women are the biggest consumers that’s why all marketing is targeted towards them.
I do not have a credit card. I once had one and got 3000 in debt. It was too scary and too easy. I paid it off and cut up my credit card and never got one again. You have to know and control yourself
So she gets caught and immediately goes to last line of defense, the water works. It’s like a movie script, they all do it. This guy needs a paternity test on that baby. If she’s willing to rack up $50k in credit card debt behind his back, just imagine what else she’s willing to do. And if he wasn’t aware of the credit card, who knows what kinds of activities she was using that card for.
@@davisholman8149But, is there a difference? Does your spouse spend thousands and not tell you? Salary difference aren't an issue ... spending and hiding it is.
She lied about this, who knows what else she's lying about. I'd get a DNA test and regardless of that outcome, I'd end this marriage. Pay the support and be there for your kid, but she's a proven liar and backstabber.
Sounds like she has a shopping addiction problem because she came clean when he confronted her. She’s feeling shame. Hopefully they get therapy and she gets better.
There’s a difference between coming clean & getting caught. She got caught!
Yup, and then turned on the water works like a child to avoid accountability for her deceit.
King David didn't come clean. God can redeem any time.
@@xtheshredderxx5473 I’m not sure what you’re saying exactly, but until this woman owns it, there is no redemption. I’m guessing your god knows her true intentions? Humility would serve her well, and a grip on reality.
@@xtheshredderxx5473and David paid a great price for it.
Some people have problems
How people have 50k in credit card debt is mind-blowing to me.
Agree .. I had a $800 debt and freak out. I hate debt. It kills.
Drinking champagne on a beer budget! You don't even have to swipe and more just tap or way your phone like a wand.
@chaplainrandy577 it's the fact they are loaned so much
I have $5500 and it scares me (it's getting paid tho)
50k credit card debt with average interest rate at 20% , means 10k interest a year , insane ! so scary
She cried because she got caught, not because she felt bad.
Huge difference!
Gotta love weaponized crying...
It could be a mixture of things. People are complex. She got caught. She was crying because of the shame. She tied herself in a web of lies and didn't know how to get out. Hell she may have been crying partly in relief that it was finally in the light.
@@whittenawFunny how the shame didn’t start when she started spending. But only after the debt hit 50,000.
Weird assumption. Why throw digital stones? What good does it bring you? It's obvious she made a mistake no need to assume things afterward.
She spent a ton of money, used her tears to weasel out of responsibility when caught, and now HE is going to go work more overtime to pay it off…
I think you forgot about the baby coming, so he has no choice.
@@dudeorduuude5211paternity test would save him quite some trouble
@@dudeorduuude5211 He should say to her, " Let's get a paternity test before the baby is born"!
Patriarchy to blame
She better start shopping at Victoria secrets only from now on while he works his ass off.
I feel for this guy. This happened to me 3 times with my ex wife. The first time was 35K. The second time was another 35K. The last time was over 100K. People spend money like this because they have an emotional issue. Once the trust is broken it is very difficult to fix it. Unfortunately we divorced. Life sucked for a while for me. I found Dave in 2016. Now I am on baby step #7 thanks to Dave Ramsey.
good job! god bless. Anyone can recover with a gazelle mindset.
3 times? I would have shut the account down
WOW! 😮 You dug yourself out of 170K in credit card debt. I know that card with 100K on it had a ridiculous payment. I used to work in the industry.
Salute to you. 🥃
Get a prenup, any of the credit card debt incurred by your wife is hers.
@@FTBASTAR Prenup only works if you get it before marriage also they can be thrown out by judge even if the prenup is fair to both parties . Its at the judge (simp) is discrection.
My husband would NEVER forgive me for getting us into $50,000 of debt. We’d be divorcing.
And then he would inherit half the debt
I get your point as I warned my wife when she racked up 5k in cc debt. I was like you better fix it NOW! It worked n we're very happy.
@@paleo704 It wouldn’t matter. I lied.
Rightfully so.
That's why you're still married. You do him wrong and you know your life with him is over.
This poor man. He corrected himself at the beginning of the call... He said, "I... I mean WE were working to pay off debt." No, your original statement was correct. YOU were working to pay off debt. She was creating MORE debt. And lying about it. He's in shock, hasn't fully processed what happened.
Divorce. This is unacceptable
Betamale
Exactly, how the hell does one person rack up $50,000?!?! He was doing everything!
@@paleo704 Precisely, she played him like a violin.
He's unfortunately trying to be a good man. That usually just equates to being a sucker
Wow, I owe $1,765 in credit card debt and freaking out about it. I couldn't image owing 50k.
Well they're also TAKING HOME $120,000/yr.
Then freak out even more when you owe another $57k on top of that.
@@roadrunner9622 That's f all.
I know, I needed a procedure so now I owe 1k and am freaking out, I couldn’t breathe owing anyone this much
Same. I owe $7k in student loans and that is frustrating to me 😂
I would get a copy of every single purchase on that card. You have to be able to see what she did. This could point to other infidelities you're not prepared for.
She can be a shopaholic without cheating. I am one and used to buy myself clothes. Now I just shop for samaritan purse shoeboxes bc then the stuff goes back out the door in November.
Shopaholic and maybe cheating as well.
Why would she need to rack up credit card debt to have an affair?
@@montymython754 hotel rooms, dinners out, gifts, lots of ways to rack up debt. Especially since the husband said he didn't see any big ticket items coming into the house. $50k in debt and no major purchases? Sounds super shady
@@montymython754 gifts, hotels, dinners. You name it.
He found out, then the water works came out. She only apologized because she was caught. If you were not so kind she would have stopped crying and started yelling at you.
Dave is right, she is a deceiver. There is a lot to work through.
Must be one hot wife I gather.
Good luck trying to change someone like that. 50K going on for a long time. No hope if you ask me.
When h said she started crying I understood he is fkced. Crying shows she gives zero fcks, it's emotional manipulation at this point.
Lol your not gonna change someone like that.. She knew what she was doing for months and months..she's a pos. Divorce. Shoulda never got married anyway.. Still don't understand that men in this day and age get married and have kids. You wanna live paycheck to paycheck, have zero free time, high stress levels, forced overtime, annoying wife, etc.. Then the kid and be on lock for 18+ years..
@@BobbaFett312
🎯🎯🎯
IMO this is instant divorce levels of infidelity. Racking up that much high interest debt can literally destroy an entire future for a family. Like Dave said, it’s the same as if it was cheating. Either way, that level of betrayal warrants divorce.
Lesson learned: be extremely careful with who you decide to marry
True story: Scout mom with two kids under 16 married a wonderful guy. He immediately took control of their finances, including investing her $20,000.00 rainy day fund. Three months into the marriage they found out she was pregnant; a week or two after that she discovered that their finances had crashed. When she confronted him, he confessed that he was a casino gambler in debt. She told him to leave. He was an elder at his church and he made a crying confession before the congregation. He deceived her and married her under false pretenses (he may have been after an income stream to pay off his gambling debts). It messed up her relationship with her kids, and the church is piling on guilt for her to submit to her husband and take him back. It was easy for my friend and I to encourage her that considering divorce was not a bad thing (we are believers), for her it is an awful situation to be in. 😧
It's not enough to ruin their financial future. If it continues, it is. It's not that much money.
Digging yourself out of 50K in credit card debt is EXTREMELY difficult, especially with an interest rate of 20%+. It’s not something to take lightly.
Got more to think about with a baby coming now. Can't just nuke it.
@@goforbroke2 I agree it is difficult. At the end of 2017 I had $55,000 in credit card debit. At that time I made a plan to pay it off and paid it off completely by early 2021. It's not easy but can be done with commitment to the process and perseverance. I definitely did not take it lightly.
This woman is DANGEROUS!!! He needs to RUN and make sure that kid is his. What a disgusting thing she has done. Absolutely unacceptable. I have 3 kids and there is NO WAY she spent even half of that on a kid that isn’t even born yet. She is NUTS and so is he if he doesn’t haul a$$ from this walking red flag.
I wouldnt divorce my wife but I will make sure she pays for it ...The bills are hers so she pays for it herself...SOmeone people will divorce but I think thats a little to excessive
@@Experience1945 honestly, that type of decision making is how people look up 20yrs later with zero retirement and a lot of shoulda, coulda, wouldas. Her mentality and willingness to be deceitful is a huge deal and should not be taken lightly. It goes far beyond just money with people like her. She is a danger and should not be trusted. You don’t handle people like her with kid gloves or they will continue to run over you.
@@whosaidthat9265
Couldn’t agree more! 💯
Appreciate your thought. Pretty much agree. Very dangerous.
There is a reason she did this no excuses and I think there is way more to this than he is telling us.
I have had two babies, and 50K is wayyyyy more than I spent on "baby stuff" for both of them combined. This woman has been ridiculous and Dave is right, there is NO excuse. This is simply a mentality of "I'm pregnant so I can do whatever I want."
I bet there's more to the story. Paternity test at a minimum.
If she felt she could do whatever she wanted then why bother hiding it. Just tell the guy you want this random stuff more than you want a good financial situation. Ironically, by hiding it, it shows 1. that she knows it's wrong 2. some tiny bit of respect for his opinion of her
Don't fall for the "I'm a PREGNANT "woman" crap....that was softens the situation to try to give her leeway....she very likely did NOT run up 50k over the last few months....."the baby" just gives her cover for whatever else ( and perhaps WHOEVER else) she was doing
I'm expecting baby 5 in 3 months and haven't spent that much on the first 4 combined.
@@ericstewart517 I don't know how spending more money equals cheating. I suspect it rather shows an addiction, like a shopping addiction.
She deceived him and trapped him. This is only the beginning of this guy's misery
😮
Oh good grief. It's not that dramatic
@@marikiemarie7622so if a man fucks other women it’s not a that big of a deal.
Spending days weeks and months pathologically lying and planning things behind somebodies back isn’t a big of a deal?! Yea sure
The HELL it is!😮
@marikiemarie7622 how is it not he's basically screwed for years with no waybout other than bankruptcy and that's 7 years it's itself
@@marikiemarie7622 Spoken like a cheater.
The guy needs to do a full accounting of the $50k. No chance that went all to baby supplies.
Agree. She's supporting some young hunk I bet.
That's not a bad idea. I would return whatever you can. that sounds rediculous for consumer spending.
It probably wasn’t all on baby supplies, this amount probably grew through the years. When you pay the minimal payment only and the card has a 20% interest rate……..the total grows like a weed. Compounded with you keep charging things on the card.
Yeah, its not like they don't have a decent income to buy what's needed. 50k in secret is insane. Need to look at the statements to see what was charged.
My ex opted to take $4k a month in cash advances on our HELOC instead of telling me his business wasn’t bringing in money. Childish, selfish, self-serving, and narcissistic behavior. No ethics, no morals, no character. Then he walked away leaving me to take care of everything. Some people just never grow up.
He needs to get itemized copies of all her purchases and add them up to make sure they add up to $50K and then return the purchases if there is still time. Sounds like she has a shopping addiction, perhaps even a gambling addiction. Then go to counseling. Do a paternity test too.
Ooof! Heavy but true and good advice!
Uuuu you went deep. Paternity test. Wow but you have a valid point.
While he was eating left overs for lunch and staying home, she was having lobster and hanging out. Unfortunately, you can't return food, cocktails and trips to the spa.
Thats the first thing I told my wife, he needs a test.
Get on the Maury show for some pay at least... Results are in: You are NOT THE FATHER!
No way I could come to terms with the long term intentional deceit
I worked with a woman and her husband found out she had forged his name and got a second mortgage on the house. He paid his final payment on the first mortgage and was expecting to get the title…. It didn’t come. His wife had spent six figures of their house over ten years. His original plan was that him and his wife were going to retire at 65 down at a lake house 2 hours away from the city. They moved there and she went to work at the front desk of a golf course paying off the house. That job is paying $17 an hour, when she was in the city she was making $90k a year as a broker. I stopped by their house a few years back and she was still working. She enslaved herself and her husband didn’t bail her out.
I wouldn’t bail her out either. My mom did the same thing to my dad, but on car loans. He didn’t bail her out. He told her to pay it off. She actually did. The only responsible thing she ever did in her life, because he didn’t coddle her, for once.
He stayed married to her? He enslaved himself too.
good for him!
She deserves it.
She committed fraud.
WOW! This guy needs to have a paternity test done. If the child is not his, get a divorce, let her have that $50K debt, and run for the hills. If the child is his, look into getting a good divorce attorney, and still follow the Baby Steps to protect your child's financial future from the mother.
Tell her to get a job and pay it back herself.
This happened to my buddy. His wife was spending money on Botox. They’re divorced now. She’s evil as she cheated on him too. Very sad. He now is with another woman who has 3 little kids. He’s now making another mistake and getting sucked dry. He’s a mess!!!
Dude! If he's your buddy, you gotta stop his insanity..... a freaking intervention!
That's why botox, lip injections, eyebrows, and other superficial BS are major red flags to me. It's like patterns on a venomous snake... RUN!
@@mikeb8342 I guess maybe he’s not my buddy after all?
Friends don’t let friends simp
@@mikeb8342 I’ve let him go as a friend.
I used to do home loans, this is way more common than most people think. Spouse are always hiding credit card debt. It’s just crazy some of the fights I saw when I pulled up credit reports.
My mom used to hide clothes, etc. from my Dad, worked up tens of thousands in credit card debt.
She was handling the finances.
My wife and I discuss everything.
I'm an Engineer so I work the budget but communication is key. If my wife did this I would be completely shocked and devastated.
The only way this can happen to you is if you are entirely uninvolved in your household finance or your wife is an absolute lying psychopath. If you stay involved it can't really occur.
The fact that you watched your mom do that and still signed a contract that incentivizes the other party to break it is beyond amazing to me...
My wife is a doctor and I still work the budget lol I can't even get my wife to look at the app to see the checking account so I always have to tell her what's in it.
@andrew8168 , your argument is because a bad thing happened to someone it is completely unavoidable? Do you ever leave your house?
I have a buddy who was mugged. I still go into the city.
I have a sister who was hit by a car crossing the road. I still cross the road.
I have a buddy who was killed by a drunk driver in a head on collision. I still drive my own car.
The solution is not to be afraid to get married. The solution is to find the right person, work together as a team, and in all the other cases pay attention to what is going on.
@@zachjones2346same here. It's kind of nice to have someone completely trust you but sometimes I think to myself how easy it'll be to financially devastate her if I was evil
It takes some people decades to pay off 50k.
Thank you for your wisdom Mr Ramsey. You described it right on when you said “breach of trust” in a financial situation.
I was the compulsive spender in my relationship but when I learned I spend because I seek comfort it immediately opened my eyes and I have been financially wonderful once I figured out my relationship with money. Most don’t know why they spend they just hear they need to stop but people should figure out there thinking/feelings about money.
This is also where it’s important to have his money, her money and shared money.
I have to say my husband is beyond blessed to have a wife like me. 😊
Girl same! Going to send this to my husband 😂
Same lol, I’m the frugal one.
Love the unabashed championing of ourselves
Nothing like thinking highly of yourself.
😂😂😂😂😂
She trapped him with the baby. I can’t be the only one that sees this. I don’t like how Dave tried to get him to take responsibility for her bad spending habits. I feel for this man, counseling will not help their relationship. I hope he has a good support system, he’s going to need it.
Well if they got a divorce and he was the sole breadwinner the court would make him responsible for that debt anyway through alimony.
Clear as day. And as for the 'advice' gynocentrism is strong with these celebrity christians.
@@Ricman7810:07
How could anyone not notice $50,000 worth of stuff unless it's fine jewelry tucked away in a drawer? That's the point!
Financial infidelity is just as worst as sexual infidelity
This is true. Financial infidelity can mean the difference between having a home and living in the streets.
It can literally change your entire future
In some ways it's worse, because of the guaranteed financial collateral damage that comes with.
I agree. I don't even buy clothes for the kids without telling my husband. I laughed at him because he told me he was going to buy another pair of sneakers, and this lady racked up 50K in debt behind his back? How can they rebuild trust after this, I don't know.
Not to me. Both are bad but sexual infidelity brings a 3rd person into the marriage in a very intimate way. I could forgive the financial infidelity if it is worked through but I would never forgive the other. But that's just me.
No way he believes she spent 50k on baby clothes, he has to know some fishy stuff she doing
Yup. He didn't need three days before calling Dave to come to grips with financial infidelity.... he's been sweating over the possibility of carnal infidelity and whether that baby is his.
Nothing but Gucci diapers and socks
He said the baby stuff was only recent and that it was extra groceries, or so she told him that. I am sure she snuck tons of clothes in the house and has them hiding somewhere
Maybe like ALL the nursery stuff. Still how dud she rack up $50, 000, fly to Europe to buy stuff?
@@hollystiener16hiding $50000 worth of clothes and he can’t see it!?! hidden in the house
Bullsh*t she doesn’t feel bad. She’s upset because she got caught. Yeah dude go work all the OT and you know what she is going to throw in your face? “You’re never home for me and the baby”……she’s got to go. Get a paternity test and if you managed to dodge a bullet. Take a breath, go away and cry about the hurt and most importantly LEAVE. If that child is not yours you absolutely need to go.
Right! Then she starts crying…typical!
Time to end it. She’s going to clean you out when she divorces your butt.
If I was that guy I'd have her do a paternity test and prepare myself to be surprised!
Agree 50k! She's supporting some younger guy I bet.
The question is..... his name Chad or Tyrone?
@@mikeb8342😂
I had this happened to me. I tried my best to make our marriage work, but when it happens multiple times, the only solution I had left was divorce. The divorce happened 10 years ago and looking back now, me filing for divorce was the best decision I ever made. Problem is, I have little trust in having another spouse.
That's not a problem.... the problem would have been if you re-wifed up right away.
I'm married to my last wife. If things go south, I'll be single moving forward.
The mother of my child basically made be leery of ever wifing up, ever.
Yeah i had a kid with her, its basically the only reason i put up with her but marraige? Never happen
Thanks!
4:45 I love how she’s being nice and Dave just calls him out
It’s called “good cop, bad cop.”
My wife always used an excuse that her mom gave her the money. Yet she racked up a 5k credit card bill and, sorry, but I put my foot down and took charge. We argued but guess what ... we eliminated that small debt quickly. A 50k deception!!! OMG !!!
I’m l
Yes I can’t give my husband a credit card. He racked up 3k in one month. He never checked the app never called the 1-800. I put my foot down and get only cash/debit. He says I treat him like a child but that’s how he acts when he gets a credit card.
@@2jcward It's the best tuff love one can give. For God sake it's avoiding a stressful debt lifestyle. I hope all is well on your part. Cheers.
@@2jcward
Thats just wild to me, I’ll never understand how people can just wrack up debt like its a game.
I’m sure you have explained this to him. If we have 100$ in our checking account, we cannot afford 150$ of whatever. XD
Its just common sense, or it should be.
Your wife? Shouldn't she be your ex-wife now?
She's not telling him everything. "Oh, it was just baby stuff!" She's either got an addiction, a man on the side, or she's "helping" a family member.
Maybe the baby's not really his, and she's fixing up a new place for herself, the baby, and the real father.
I had the same thing with clients in my office. They we’re refinancing to finish renovations. I couldn’t qualify them because of her debt 80k on credit cards he didn’t know about. Turned out she had a big gambling problem and was floating it on credit cards. The most awkward part was trying to explain why without flat out saying what the problem was because she wouldn’t fess up and because of privacy rules I couldn’t just say why. So the look of confusion on his face while they sat across the desk was awful. She finally admitted what the problem was and I had to step out of the office while they screamed at each other for 15 minutes. The whole bank was looking at me like. What the heck is going on over there? I did give them the mortgage but everything went towards paying off her debt instead of the renovations.
Thats terrible
wow😮
WTF. She should have gotten another job to pay that off herself.
Go through the bill. See what and where this money was spent.
This isn’t $50,000 on baby stuff. There’s a lot more in there that he’s not deep diving into.
Get a paternity test. She's probably been doing this in the light of a near divorce 😢
Correct, that money is going somewhere and who knows what else she's been doing. Getting a paternity test is a must for him. She can't be trusted.
Paternity tests should be mandatory regardless of marital status!
man.. you got it.. probably the child is not his..awfully crude way to realize it.
@@Gypsy2057the money was going to support Chad, the child’s real dad ….. he needs to maintain an expensive lifestyle to seed up such women
I would suggest to leave the relationship. It takes alot of energy and mental stress to trust again.
This poor man sounds petrified! What else is she doing behind his back? This woman is no good.
I love how dave dosent let the liability slip she has activly deceived him For years and needs to own that.
He should honestly divorce her. 50k in credit card debt is beyond not ok. That can destroy someone for years.
Not grounds for divorce at all, unless your vows were something like "I promise to be your husband unless you cost too much money"
@@gorkyd7912 She committed financial infidelity.
This was my ex-wife all while fighting to control the household finances and then argue point of filing bankruptcy. I had gotten us out of debt and we married debt-free. We built a new house with $15K left in the bank. All while she was taking out credit in my name, spoiling her family and eating out everyday while feeding me Hamburger Helper. I refused to file bankruptcy. Then pile on infidelity. She refused counseling. Then turned up pregnant not sure who the father was. I could not trust her with another 10 years of my life. I have not and do not expect to marry again. I'm done with girlfriends. Celibate 5 years and counting. I serve the Kingdom of God. Matthew 19:11
nothing wrong with that. You should be making plenty of money and getting ready for retirement
@@tam6011 Got through a mountain of debt and enjoying early frugal retirement.
Sounds like you are finding the wrong type of women.
Exactly brother
Hopefully you got a DNA test before signing any papers
Now this is a call for the Ramsey show. I completely agree 100% with Dave and Jade.
WOW, both of you hosts are preaching to me...right on the nail!
This exact thing happened to me too. Found the collections papers in the mail and confronted her. She broke down in tears and promised it would never happen again. Happened again a couple years later. Infidelity will follow too. This is not wife/partner material. Nothing good is going to come from this marriage. Let her go bro. You’ll be 10 times better off for it. Praying for you brother.
Hey, that's why in the past, people gave expectant mother's a baby shower. That way she didn't have to buy the baby items herself. And another thing. My grandmother used to say, if you can't afford it, DO WITHOUT!
My boyfriend had two women before me who did that sneaky lie thing about money for a long time. Deceit is lying.
Dave and Jade have melted right into one another. I love to see it. ❤. Great job.
Financial infidelity. Sadly, most in these situations throw it back at the responsible party and accuse them of being controlling and financially abusive.
Yup. I've heard women use that financial abuse when all the husband wanted was a Budget.
Yup next thing she plays the victim and tells her friends he's financially abusive and they tell her to talk to an attorney. He could lose everything yet.
@@Labbernese77 🎯
Not always, my husband committed financial infidelity after 2 years of marriage. He took full responsibility for what he did and never did it again. We are now happily married 33 years.
@@djpuplex that’s a two way street
As a woman I want a divorce for you sir. That’s unacceptable.
You seem like a good women.
Get a DNA test and talk to a Lawyer about divorce..you cant trust her.
There's a baby on the way. How are you going to jump straight to a divorce? She's a Shopaholic that's all. She needs treatment
@@georgewagner7787no... we can't jump into conclusions, she's a pathological liar. I'm sure she's done other infidelitys. This dude needs to go further down the rabbit hole.
$50,000 is alot of money to purposely hide from your husband...he needs to do more investigation ..
@@georgewagner7787 But she was cruel to allow him to get that phone call from collections. In his innocence, he said there must be some mistake. A horrifying moment for him.
Run, Forrest, run!
wow the disrespect. And she is banking on her husband to pay for it all. I would make her work as soon as she’s physically capable.
This Marriage is doomed.
I wouldn’t be that sure about it. Doomed no. Very likely she got addicted to the fact that she got that “free money of use “ and have a problem of this kind. Maybe his wife is loving, kind and good woman who has a money spending problem. I wouldn’t be that critical even though the situation is bad and hard for a man to swallow.
@@IyaKarapetyanvery likely that this marriage will end up in divorce,marriage like this don’t last long
It’s finished!!!!!!
talk with a divorce attorney, you can't trust cheaters or fraudsters
Or attorneys
I wouldn't work one extra hour to pay off that 50k debt
Nope. Keep spending into bankruptcy. Dave went bankrupt. It’s a great way to clean up a mess now. And she can’t spend on credit card when they’re all turned off
problem is he will pay a lot more than just the 50k if this goes to divorce. The courts will reward the wife with alimony, child support and his pension. Not to mention the debt she created
@@boston312 in the long run, divorce will save him money.
@@boston312 Actually if she "dissipated marital assets", that amount would be subtracted from her portion of their assets. Even in a no fault state.
@@martha7811depends on the judge..... Plenty of judges go rouge and just shaft the guy. You weren't aware that family and divorce courts are stacked against men?
She was crying because she got caught and was manipulating the guy. You can never trust this woman, ever. You forgive her, and she will see you as weak(er) and will become even worse because she knows you'll take it. Get rid of her.
I just listened to a Ramsey episode where the wife called crying about how her husband denied her access to the bank accounts. They didn't ask why just bashed him as a control freak...AND THEN YOU WATCH VIDEOS LIKE THIS and you see why the husband may have done it. Ramsey Solutions, good for people who are bad with money, bad for people who are good with money.
Wife needs to go sorry man
She's not likely going to help him pay that off. She has no respect for him or their household. She never said anything about it. She spent budget money and credit card money without any regard. Intergirity and self control is not there. This could be revenge, immaturity, lots of things, but the mind to fix this is an intergity driven mind. Can't force that.
I dont think he should trust his wife
Trust in God not mankind.
Ya think??
Wow, this is troubling for their relationship. I had 8k on a credit card 💳 8 years ago. I could not sleep, and this guy said his wife charged 50k on a credit card. I would leave her for sneaky. They need counseling asap.
Generally, if people are okay deceiving in one area, they are okay deceiving in other areas as well.
I am glad to see that Dave circled back on this one. The lady was right to bring up extenuating circumstances.
Pull up all of the past CC statements. Find out where she spent the money.
Had John Balogna been on the call his first question would have been “why didn’t she feel safe telling you?” 🙄
😂😂😂 Facts. As a woman I find him so annoying
😂 true
My wife won’t watch if he’s on.
@@CurieBohrsame. John is just not smart
You all are acting like weenies. Haha, you are triggered!
It's time to consider divorce in this situation.
Consider?! It’s an absolute must IMO. He’s fucked no matter what he does, it’s damage limitation from here on. He needs to get a good attorney ASAP. He’ll end up having to pay for half of her mess no matter what, but that beats paying for all of it.
@@matthewhook3375 Yeah I agree. I should have said must, but wasn't concerned with symantics.
He is finished!!!!!
This story is honestly just so sad. Especially if the child is actually the result of sexual infidelity as well. Her degree of deception doesn't make that hard to believe.
As a wife and soon to be 4 children, this is insane. Husband and I both work, the most debt we ever had was 40k but that was with a car! 50k in credit is out of this world. He needs to realize this is a deep issue.
No other debt like a mortgage?
@@IrisP989
Well a lot of people rent, or if they are fortunate, given a place to stay, though when talking debt, most people dont count mortgage.
They should count it since it is debt. You can't just count the equity in your home but not the mortgage. @@XFizzlepop-Berrytwist
She racked up to 50,000 let her pay for it
The baby is most likely not his ! Definitely get a dna test . Also if she’ll do this during a marriage , just imagine how a divorce will be . This is bad ! Leave her asap!
If she knows what she is doing, the baby absolutely is his.
She probably spent most that $50k on baby stuff that he never saw. Its at her bf house or in a storage unit.
She will wait till after birth, then become a monster to him till he snaps, then blame him for all the relationship problems, divorce him, take him for half of everything and then she will move on while he gets to clean up the mess, including most of the debt. He will be paying child support to her no matter what (unless he gets primary custody (yeah alrighty then), and most likely alimony as well.
Or, he nips it in the bud, and divorces her, still gets to pay alimony and child support but at least will keep his sanity. No matter what hes gonna get 🪛 but at least he can do it on his terms
Your reaching with your assumptions
This episode hit home for me. My wife of 19 years passed away quickly after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2002. I discovered debt that I was unaware of but worse, I discovered many items that had been purchased that I had no knowledge of. Some were things like dozens of Time Life video tape series, a complete set of china, lots of new unworn clothes, tons of costume jewelry, watches, books, and so much more. This complicated the grieving process with anger. I have mostly recovered, speaking emotionally. I donated almost everything to charity. I retired, moved from CA to TX and became totally debt free including my home which I remain today. Your point about trust is spot on, it is as bad as infidelity.
Oh my god ...this is so bad instead of grieving u started hating dem.....of course u wont say hate but that's wat u feel at the end
@@gbinman I read and reread what that person wrote and I think you took it the wrong way. My take- dem meant them. I don't think the op meant any harm. :) Sorry for all you had to go through with your late wife.
@@gbinman bro chill. You are so triggered bro. I think he meant to say "them" not Dem. He just misspelled it dude
She doesn't feel remorseful! She got caught! Her tears was a defensive weapon to disarm you from holding her accountable!
Cheaper to keep her does not apply to every situation
RUN RUN 🏃♀️ 🏃♂️ 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️
$50,000 charged on Holiday Inn Express rooms.
If you lie to you about finances, there’s no telling what else she will lie to you about. I have first-hand experience with that Wife cheating on me, but first it was lying about finances. She had a separate bank account. I didn’t know about that way she could do whatever she wanted to without me noticing.
That baby ain’t gonna look like him!
Baby going to be black. 😂😂
Bipolar mania can cause people to overspend. Pregnancy is a trigger for mania/hypomania/mood disturbance. In such a case, managing the underlying cause manages the behavior.
I feel like the wife would blame this on the pregnancy but 50k?!? Come on. Jade was trying to say how did you not know. But people who are good at hiding and lying are skilled at these deceptions. This sucks for him.
She used the money for something else. Like maybe a vacation. Or maybe she has a double life with another man. No way baby stuff and food for years cost 50K. That money went somewhere else.
When she cried, it sounds like it was "I'm sorry you found out"
My now ex-husband did this to me repeatedly. The stress was constant. I cleared our debt 3 times by buttoning up and bingo- as soon as I did he'd quit his job. I got quite ill and was told to make my end of life plans and he told me he "didn't sign up for a sick wife". Luckily, that was my "get out free" card as I realized he had no intention of honoring his vows in the same sense that I understood them. The 15 years of my marriage set me back in so many ways I cannot list them, but I gained self respect and independence of spirit and have decided to lay up my treasure in an entirely different realm. His overspending and duplicity were a real contributor to the end of that marriage. Good luck!
Solid advice you two! Maranatha.
Crying when she gets caught, of course... First thing a woman does is child bavahor to invoke sympathy. But she wasn't crying when she was spending! When a thief steals 50.000 euros from you, you don't go working overtime to make up the difference. She is on the hook for the whole amount and has to work it off! The only way to fully breed the guilt into her is to make her sweat it out at 20 dollars per hour. Only that way will to get back the trust, but seeing her work through it. If she refuses she can hit the pavement.
This man going to work overtime to pay off crap that wasn't even his or enjoys any of it. 50,000$, mamamiyah! Hard pass on this marriage, I would be out the door.
She’d be crying when she found out I sold something of hers everyday until caught.
I think that is called gaslighting, and while this guy is doing marriage counseling he should be 'secretly' talking to lawyers about divorce and a paternity test.
@@jrus690💯
All women do not behave this way. Being an adult means being responsible for yourself and to others in your life. If she is not working she probably should be however with a baby coming and him working overtime it might be hard to find child care.
I never wanted to have a credit card and never had one and I am happy with this decision! Only once I needed to do a small payment via credit card as no other payment options were given. I went to my ex with the cash and he handed me his credit card. Even after divorce he knew I would never betray him. I have got no debt and never had. My partner since 2001 has got his own income and manages his own money, none of us would want to influence the other's financial decisions.
How can you possibly risk your relationship due to money matters!
Caller is saying that he thinks she used the credit card for everyday items.. she spent 50k in 6mos so she used the card for the mortgage? And utilities..
Im gonna reach and say shes supporting a side life. I wouldnt blame him for not seeing 50k worth of items coming into the house if the items never came into the house.
100%
Except Dave asked how this could be in 6 months and the guy said that it had likely been from farther back too. Still could be she's funding other shenanigans.
@mikeb8342 that's true 🤔
@@wahinepaddler4 "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop lollipop? The world may never know...."
...as in we probably will never know. They need to have a show from time to time that goes back and looks up some of these callers to see what happened.... or whether Dave's advice was followed and/or worked. THAT would be interesting as hell.
He can get a transaction statement for the card. It will tell him where all the money was spent on.
The joys of having a joint account.
12:43 "100% of addicts eventually have financial trouble". That spoke to me
id be asking for divorce
Now see…when a man tries to take control of his house mainly with finances..they call him a financial abuser. Let’s get things straight..women are the biggest consumers that’s why all marketing is targeted towards them.
I do not have a credit card. I once had one and got 3000 in debt. It was too scary and too easy. I paid it off and cut up my credit card and never got one again.
You have to know and control yourself
So she gets caught and immediately goes to last line of defense, the water works. It’s like a movie script, they all do it. This guy needs a paternity test on that baby. If she’s willing to rack up $50k in credit card debt behind his back, just imagine what else she’s willing to do. And if he wasn’t aware of the credit card, who knows what kinds of activities she was using that card for.
Not all do it. I don’t - & I make 3 times the money my husband makes. I am more of a tight wad than he is too.💰
@@davisholman8149But, is there a difference? Does your spouse spend thousands and not tell you?
Salary difference aren't an issue ... spending and hiding it is.
She lied about this, who knows what else she's lying about. I'd get a DNA test and regardless of that outcome, I'd end this marriage. Pay the support and be there for your kid, but she's a proven liar and backstabber.
Sounds like she has a shopping addiction problem because she came clean when he confronted her. She’s feeling shame. Hopefully they get therapy and she gets better.
She didn't come clean. She got caught. Coming clean is when you voluntarily give up the information, not after you get caught.
She’s hoping the 50k is all he notices.
He would be in the right to ask for a paternity test.
shopping addiction would be less than 10k.. but 50k is a lot.. probably the kid is not his...something else is going on