I Don't Want My Husband To Hear This Call! 0:24 My Wife Went Behind My Back! (You'll Want To Watch Until The End) 15:59 Your Husband Has Been Reading CRAP On The Internet! - Dave Ramsey Rant 23:45 Wife Has Been Lying To Me For 30 Years About THIS! 33:04 My Husband is 100% Sure That the World Will End Soon! 41:55 My Husband Wants To Put Us Back Into Debt For A Tesla! 48:52
During the coof pretty much impossible. Like they discussed later it was more likely seeing too much and him getting wound up by the media constantly. Being trapped inside that long can make most people go crazy and a lot of people couldn't turn it off.
Then Miss FinFree Fin, you are a very lucky lady that has become a life long comment of a good decision on this very risky business called, "Marriage." I, too, has led a married life with a disconnected mate. Let, me see, how many ways that I can let you know, I'mmmmmmmm not connecting, and that I will put you thru this Sh......t that I will dish out! You, the caller, trying to whisper from up stairs?? Is this not your house too? I finally got rid of that bum, and he did die, facing four years imprisonment with his prost. girlfriend. I do think that this show is going to say, either combine or leave. But, I'll see what they both say. Heidi, don't worry, everything will turn out, you've got the best team on your side. 😎😎
That truck drivers life is overwhelmed and feels alone in the relationship. I can tell you right now. She feels like a single mom. and if she is working two full-time jobs, she deserves the van $10,000 is nothing for a van. My van was $25,000.
She wanted to spend 5k on a van that she needs for the kids. He is rarely home. She's overwhelmed and about to give birth. I think Dave was a little overly harsh on her and the husband was manipulating everyone.
I think you need to consider her side of it. She is about to give birth and couldn’t wait. She probably found a great deal. She could have made a phone call to the husband but may have felt pressure from the car salesman. Everyone has felt that pressure before.
💯 my ex husband lost all our money on the sharemarkets put our house up behind my back. He hit me. He left for another woman - when our baby was 6 weeks old Got boarders and my sister to move in to help with the mortgage, he never paid child support etc Went back to university Worked 2 jobs 32yrs on Freehold $2million home Helped my capable saving adult daughter into her own home in her 20s, she’s now looking to buy another rental home Still work full time and love it , have a lot in savings Women you can do it and man is it satisfying!!! Love from New Zealand 🇳🇿
My ex-husband was severely abusive..Dave is correct. I wasn't allowed to grocery shop, or shower more than once a week. He was beating me on a near daily basis. Got out with my 2 children by the grace of God! 44 years old and a second chance at life! 🌟
I’m a truck driver. There is zero need to be an over the road trucker. You can find a job running locally, where you’re home every night and make plenty of money. It’s not fair to expect her to work a full time job and take care of small children fully on her own 95% of the time.
My Dad did that for us. He was an Engineer and his position was to travel and negotiate purchases of equipment for machines at his company. It felt like he travel 85% of the year. He filled it with family trips merged with business trips and most weekends. We knew he loved us (it showed in how hard he was going for us) but emotionally he just wasn’t present to fill us girls as much as we need to navigate life healthily and it took a mental and emotional toll on my mom. He took a position that allowed him to work close to home when we were preteens/teen time. It was a pay cut initially but eventually he changed ranks and rose in income. I appreciate him for all of the sacrifices he made for us. He made not have gotten it all right and we’re not rich but we never wanted for anything (seemingly) and he financed retirement for him and my mom and still have enough to pass a substantial amount of money to his kids and grandkids as a gift after he’s no longer here. He’s been and always will be out rock.
“I don’t want my husband to hear” really hit me hard. I’m coming out of a divorce where honestly this woman’s comment are exactly what I went through. The difference is I am male and I was in a marriage being manipulated and lied to longer. I hope this helps many people see the signs before it’s too late. If you find yourself saying “I’m not the person I used to be” get help. If you can’t combine and discuss finances get help. If your spouse does not want you in their finances they are likely cheating or are going to. Get help. Life is so much better on the other side and you can be that person you were once proud to be.
My husband and I married late in life, so each of us already has our own accounts. Never merged our money, just made sure we have beneficiaries set up for each account.
I got involved with a gal who had $150,000 debt. I have zero debt. Her denial, not her debt, and refusal to change her habits ended the relationship. Being in debt is always salvageable as long as you are willing to face it as a team
Oh boy I feel you! My lasz relationship basically broke over this. He did not want to admit to himself that being behind when it comes to paying taxes means YOU HAVE TAX DEBT and those are areal debts! On top his family was financially in such a toxic way entwined I just can't.. He and his bigger brother got a house "gifted" by their dad. That house was basically a 2 family home so it was connected to the parents house with a floor connecting the 2 (and those doors never being locked between the 2 homes...). In return he and the brother had to "support back" the retired father who made the downpaiment of 150k so 75k per son you can say. The "support back" money included a "feel well payment" for the car he was able to basically lease from his dads sidebusiness (he'd buy a car at a time, my ex was allowed to drive it till he'd cell it for a profit, gas included) that they'd estimate to be around 300$ out of 1500$ a month that he would pay the dad for the car and the house downpayment. But it was not considered paying off the downpayment so it would basically go on indefinately, while also paying the mortage of course additionally to that. The conversation came up as we spoke about plans of moving together. In the end I was "the bad guy" cause we talked about different scenarios. I wasn't willing to move in woth them (obviously, and he also never asked me to as he could see how that would be uncomfortable for me), but he also didn't want to actually sell "his house" cause then the brother couldn't afford it and would be forced to rent again 😱. I even mentioned paying off his dad actually all at once together as the dad apprently relied on that money and therefore wanted to have a say in our plans and I wasn't willing to be put in a position of an adult child when planing my future in my 30's with a man 😂 Long story short: I was the devil who "wanted to tear the family apart" for pointing out what a mess it is and that they literally could never afford that house to begin with and that it's an unhealthy co-dependancy and wanting to dind solutions.. So glad I am now with an SO that is on the same page as me financially and also when it comes to dealing with family
Yep, been there done that. My first husband doled money out at his whim. I stayed home with baby, he went out drinking every night. Took two years for the first hit. Begged for forgiveness. I had no where to go and no money. Got me a job, moved up in company. Became youngest general manager in the company. I will never be in that situation again! Now I have my own business and married 24 years to the most wonderful man. My first hubby was murdered by 2 fellow employees for his income tax. Our children were 5 & 3. Life is hard. Its your choice to change. Pull up your bootstraps and LIVE!
Right from the start, that first call broke my heart "my husband is downstairs and I don't want him to interrupt the call"... 🥺 sweetheart this is your home too 💔
I don't know why everyone is so against her needing to whisper in her home. She had a conversation with her husband about some "money experts" she was listening to. He disagreed with them. She's now on the phone with them asking for advice. So you whisper. Makes sense to me. She'll talk to him later about it if they gave her good talking points.
My husbands not an abuser but it would be so awkward for me to call a show for advice about our relationship in front of him. It makes total sense to me that she’s whispering to avoid the awkwardness.
Ramsey said the smartest thing I’ve heard him say ever. ONCE a woman is done, she is done and there’s no looking back! When a wife stops complaining or fighting back. The end is just around the corner from there!
I disagree, my ex wife stopped complaining and left me one day. Few months later she came back wanting us to rectify after SHE walked out of our built life together. She finally offered me marriage, having a baby etc. I figured if she was willing to leave out of no where in the past what would stop her from doing it again. We dated 8 years. Both Mutually Waited on kids because of the cost. Proposed 3 times in the 8 year span. NEVER CHEATED. Good men learn your worth. Don’t give people discounts on how poorly they treat you. Also, look in the mirror often.
Right. However many men interpret "the shutdown" as weakness. The truth is the fortress just slammed the gates, fill the most, and " maned" the towers. Full scale war and destruction follows. Some men even will blame her lawyer, friends, or family because he cannot conceive that she is the commander of the fortress. Remember he thought she was weak. So many dupes.
@@melliebe6029 you can't tell them to listen if you didn't stick around for literally the NEXT caller. She was the crazy one who went behind his back to get a minivan, but then they discover he packed up his bags and took half the emergency fund? Ramsey's intuition didn't pick that one up did it?
@@dylanbly3468 Yup. Stop entertaining yourself and go actually live. Connect with the people around you and do things with them. Texting has its usefulness but if people are important to you, show them with a phone call.
Same here. My therapist helped me understand and face the truth I already knew but I was so confused and terrified I couldn't make sense of it. "Crazy-making" is real and Dave obviously understands this. He knows how important it is to tell someone they're not crazy off the bat, bc we're told by our abusive spouse constantly that we're crazy and stupid, and then they make sure we look absolutely nuts when friends and family are around- so we get to hear it from them too, especially when we try to get help from them and tell them what's really going on. I happen to be female, but I know for sure thiis is happens to men just as often as to women in today's world. ❤
And what about YOUR actions? It’s a two way street, Miss. Counselors are in the business of validating women and their crappy behavior by making EVRYTHING the husband’s fault. The MOMENT he tries to point out a flaw in the wife, everything goes to hell.
Very sad when a spouse disconnects from you. It takes time to stop trying to fix it. Dave and John are spot on. Always listen to yourself. Good luck sister.
"I was thinking a van. She was thinking an SUV." She deals with the kids alone, practically 24/7, and he wanted to tell her what kind of vehicle she needed. That's why she went behind his back. It was not the right thing to do, but it was probably a passive aggressive way to get control over being told what she gets to need. My two cents.
@@MrJessenava oh my bad I was not paying 100% lol I fixed my comment. Damn now that I know it was only half I'm not as mad 😅😅 I thought it was a lot worse than that
Below is my thought before I heard the woman's side The woman is a married single mom, and has a child she takes care of while the absent husband is always away. She is Pregnant and on top of that working two jobs! He has been absent why should she listen to him, she is struggling mentally, physically and emotionally to survive.
Or he is in full defense mode so the bills get paid because she has a history of spending every dime that she can get her hands on while she is telling her "friends" that he is an evil abuser who wont let her have any money...
@grega2362 That depends on when this behaviour started. If he was like that from the get go then he has controlling tendencies and needs to address this. If he had to step in afterwards out of necessity due to mismanagement by the wife then that's different.
When a spouse* holds their* money separately & guards/hides the details, they're* working on their* exit plan. Either way, no matter the spouse, separate money = exit plan.
I got together with my partner when she made considerably less than me, but she always lived with more abundance than me became she was better at saving and I was a spender... We have both progressed in our income over the years and now she is making even more than me. Between this show and learning from her. We are dept free and have a house we both love. I could not have ever imagined being where I am in life right now if I had stayed single.
Bro the stats don't support your lifestyle. 7 out of ten Americans will never get married. I'm going to be honest and tell the truth. Men are to blame because we have learned the truth. Marriage in America under current laws aren't worth it.
The wife of David from Louisville's wife was facing delivery of her baby alone if he were on the road, thousands of miles away. Was there another relative ready to help in the delivery room? All 3 men missed this completely. She was definitely making a plea for help.
What got to me was the whole idea that they could cut down and pay it off, from her own mouth. He's not at home more often than not. His side of the financials can't really be cut. He's got meals on the road, stops along the way, fuel, maybe the truck payment depending on the set up. There's very few ways for him to cheap out. She's the one at home. She can cut down on the electric bill, the grocery bill, the water bill, fuel for her car. She can shuffle the childcare around to cut expenses. She can pick up side gigs and overtime much easier than he can. She has all the power to make the real day to day financial changes for the family. In that same vein, she's the one who will bear the actual brunt of cutting down expenses. He won't, not in the same way. So yeah I can totally see her looking at an upgrade of a few thousand and saying, why not? It'll be my problem so it should be my decision. Not a very marriage mindset but I don't blame her with a baby about to pop and my partner in the wind, even if for all the right reasons.
@@mugglecatfulyou gotta be kidding she should pick up more side gig to make more $$ right? she already has a full time job(assuming no ot required at all times), and she has a toddler to take care of, and she's a week till delivery another baby, and you said she can pull in more income?! this is so fxxx up. At this point I'm worried who will help take care of her toddler while she's in the delivery room, since the truck driver already moved out and dumped all the responsibilities of kids on her. And everyone thinks she should be more responsible for the family?! What is Wrong with ppl these days?!
I’m so glad my wife and I are on the same boat financially, I frequently say “I gotta check with my wife to see if we can get this” when making a bigger purchase, but it is to keep us on the same page and get her opinion. It is also an easy way to get out of buying something I’m not 100% sold on.
new to this show. i like that he asked for the man to get off road to see and sympathize with an overwhelmed new mom of two. thank you for asking questions. and supporting this woman/ new mom. i didnt know id like these uncles and how supportive they are of women.
That is always true, but frequently irrelevant. We get the story we get and we have to make up our minds based on that. It is like if your therapist asked to check with your relatives if your story "checks out". This view might be influenced by Dr. Phil, who is fixated on "the truth" and on the very unreliable "science" of lie detection. A story has to be enough for us, only the judicial system gets to demand the other side.
@@aaronnilestoussaint5672👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 right! I was starting to thin’ I was crazy for being curious about the other persons side! There are 3 sides to every story: his, hers, and the truth.
@@antiantipodano it doesn’t, that’s bs. Therapists are not the same as audience members, they are there to provide viable coping mechanisms for the client and utilize the clients perspective as a lens to visualize how best to do that. For therapists, the client’s perception is their reality. Dr. Phil is not a therapist, he went to school for forensic psychology. His show isn’t him acting as a therapist which is why he is mutually communicative with guests whereas a therapist would let the client primarily speak. Dr Phil’s whole show is about problem solving. A huge part of problem solving contentious relationships , which most of his guests have, is to get down to the nitty gritty, bring both perspectives to the table, and sort between truth and lie. Therapists aren’t typically bridge building, they are solving an individualized mental health problem. How does that correlate to Dr.Phil who typically tries to keep families together &/or repair the broken relationship🤔🤷🏽♀️ we as audience members of Dave’s show aren’t doing any of that🙄 we are here as bystanders to be entertained or apply these lessons to our own life. These are real ppl and many of us can relate or know someone who can. May of us have had ppl mischaracterize a situation to ruin our relationship and evade accountability which is why we are open to hearing the other side. There are also cultural issues such as society coddling women while shaming men, society believing all women are innocent and do nothing wrong, and society telling men they are GUILTY until proven innocent when a woman accuses them of something that he truly didn’t do. Situations like Amber Herd & Johnny Deep, Chris Brown & Rihanna, & Jonah Hill & his ex have caused skepticism among us. Women tried to ruin all those men while lying, being evasive, &/or failing to take ownership of their own abuse.🤷🏽♀️ I am over being told we can never question anything a woman says bc she is infallible. You are free to believe only one side if you want, this rhetoric is what bit Lizzo in the butt and now she wants ppl to believe her even though she had your same mindset where ppl should only believe the side of the story they’ve been given and never dare to inquire for more information or free-think. You can’t have your cake & eat it too so think about how you would feel in that situation.
I got into trucking almost two years ago. Did a year otr and realized if I ever wanted a family I'd need to get something local or build up enough so I can stay home for the first few months when kids are born. Got a few endorsements now I run crude oil, make more money, and am home every day. That driver has issues if he doesn't realize the flaws in his lifestyle!
I agree. A man away from his family 5 days of the week can’t focus on his family. I say that having a dad who would do clean up disaster jobs and would be gone for months
I remember the beginning of my relationship with my girlfriend. I didn't know couples had separate finances. It just didn't make sense. We were very young when we met, so we had hypothetical marriage conversations early. She said she'd never tie finances because that's what her parents did, and it always worked for them. I disagreed harshly. Shortly after her parents divorced (for a great many reasons other than finances), she changed her tune and now she's even talking about being a SAHM. I wouldn't have it any other way. After love, money is the most important thing in a marriage, and how can you have a marriage when you didn't even share part 2 of the recipe.
Dave not only is finacial wizard, he can do marriage counselling and great at calling peoole out in their nonsense...You all do such a great job at giving advice and guidance
“Turn off the Fox News or CNN.” YES. Both keep the amygdala firing; the sky will ALWAYS be falling. The psychology of fear makes millions for these “news” sources. Keep it up, Mr. Ramsey & company, both your message and method! 👍🏻
This woman is due to have baby number 2 in 9 days time. She wanted it done. She also is home alone whilst husband is off trucking. She is used to making day to day decisions alone. Husband sounds appallingly self righteous. He needs to be there with his wife instead of trying to control her.
@@BlackStump172that husband should be taking unpaid leave to be there for his baby and wife. As for the car drama- 2 baby seats fit in any small car with no issues. When you need to fit 3 baby car seats- then, yes, some cars are too tight.They just need a drama.
@@loft27ssthat husband should be taking a local job, there's an extremely limited number of situations where a parent is justified in being away from home that much with kids in diapers, and plain Jane PTR trucking ain't one of them.
YES! Marriage was so hard on me. He changed a year into marriage and pushed hard to solely take over the rent and some bills . Then when I finally said he could pay the rent, he made sure to say if I made him mad, didn’t agree with him on something, or didn’t clean enough I would be kicked out on the street with no where to live. Keep in mind everything in the apartment was what I had prior to marriage. He always was screaming, angry, slamming doors, throwing things, breaking expensive items I had from years ago speakers, tv’s etc. just so he could use fear to keep me in line. The church just told me I needed to be more obedient to my husband and never make him mad so he wouldn’t feel the need to act out towards me. I kept trying to find my part in how to take accountability for my own actions and focus less on his. He would continue to scream and spit at me while I laid in bed motionless staring at the wall. I made sure to just keep quiet and not react. One night I just prayed to God asking if he could please still love me if I left my husband and I escaped the apartment that night and left all my things and started over with nothing. Marriage was total hell. The financial aspect was hard too and what saved me was the stash of cash I had in my car after someone from the domestic abuse hotline asked me to start saving. She was a lifesaver. Now I always try to keep cash stashed from my PTSD. I’m terrified of marriage now. A Christian marriage was not like how I was taught it was supposed to be. ☠️ The court granted my freedom with divorce ❤
Choose a better man next time. That man has a lot of growing up to do. What a loser of a boy. Hope you move slow in your next relationships with others and get understanding of people you deal with in your life. Have a plan.
That sounds so traumatic! I'm so sorry you went through that! Your ex-husband was not a christian man. A true christian husband sacrifices everything to take care of and put his wife 1st. I'm praying you can find forgiveness, not for him but for you. That you can find healing and freedom. Then when you are ready you can find a real christian man who will love you like Christ loved the church and will give himself up for you. And you won't make him pay for what your ex did to you. Prayers and Hugs.
People don't change like that, there were warning signs you didn't recognize. Learn the warning signs, and avoid those people. You can usually test them in a way that's harmless to a healthy minded person but when you do it to those people it hurts them deeply because they have a dysfunctional psyche. The church unfortunately messes up a lot of things, and most don't understand the predatory people we live with day to day. You must learn scripture on your own, come to your own conclusions, and when you seek guidance from the church it is only guidance, not demands. Remember that the church has had many problems with corruption in the past and that your trust in the church feeds their power. If you have a proper understanding of the Bible through your own readings and interpretation you will have a better understanding of everything.
The guy who was experiencing the financial issue with his wife - this conversation has given me a new perspective to consider in regards to my current relationship issue. Crazy that it's come from a finance topic. Thanks for adding so much value to people's lives!
Man what I would do for a wife that could be so caring and bare 2 children to me and could make 90k with her career like insane how scared she sounds in fear of this monster she lives with. She sounds amazing and you need a new life sweetheart 😊❤
Just want to say i've been married 6 years, my husband and I took financial peace before we got married. on a civil servant salary with kids we have a paid off car, another 4 year degree, and paid off over 20,000 in NICU visits, now we are looking for our first house. Joint finances in a respectful marriage works! you just need to be fully realized adults.
For the second call, we were recently in a moderate car accident, that we were not at fault. We went from one car to zero cars because it was totaled. When we started talking about newer to us car, I wanted a Honda Odyssey since we are going to be a family of 5 next summer. My husband told me it was not likely in the budget to get a reliable one. So, we went to a used dealership and got a ten year old GMC Acadia for $6k. Once insurance went through from the at faults driver, we spent under $1k on it, which we had in an emergency fund. I love it and it will work perfectly for our family. My husband was blessed with skills to work on cars so we also have saved money by having him fix a few little things the car needed. I am also very happy to continue to not have a car loan we are paying every month
Many women are in abusive relationships and do not know it’s abuse. I was in an emotional, psychological, eventually physical abusive relationship and I had to be told by a police officer what it was. You get to the point where the person you trust makes you feel like you’re the crazy one. Just the fact that they were calling this out and validating her feelings probably just changed her entire life.
@@idaUnchained I've lived by the thought that if it's heavily advertised investment it cannot possibly be of value. If it was they wouldn't have to advertise. Same to true for male/ female enhancement products. I've not invested in any gold/silver/gems. I have purchased those items because they appeal to me on an aesthetic line not an investment line. Same thought applies to many other things.
I have observed you are all so compassionate and gentle with people going through such hardships. And overall you are so savvy about financial planning and decisions. Thank you.
I'm so glad that they did a follow up with the over the road truck driver with the pregnant wife. When I was 24 I had an older divorced girlfriend tell me, "You're at the age where you're going to start meeting and dating divorced men. Don't ever forget that there are always at least two sides to every story." That advice served me well sometimes. I was thinking of that as I listened to the first part of that phone call. Now to the part where he says when the woman has held her breath for however long...when she's done, she's done. I held my breath for 6 years and didn't know I was holding my breath. But when I woke up and realized all I'd been doing is holding my breath and trying to survive without having any tools or knowing what it took to change the circumstances, I just had to get out. I couldn't take the lying and the cheating, the stalking. I was drowning and the only way I knew how to fix it was to get as far away from it as possible. At that point he decided we needed marriage counseling but the only marriage counseling he would go to are the ones that agreed with him anybody who disagreed with him or came close to recognizing what the problems were, were deemed nuts. I wish I would have had a Dave Ramsey back then. 😢
I really like Dave urging people to put the phone down and stop soaking up all the news. All it does is promote anxiety, as shown by some of the calls on this episode. Absolutely correct in the flight or fight response and the dumb decisions that get made because of it.
I have a funny feeling Sharon Ramsey is a sweetheart and people asked how did u end up with Dave?? (At least in the begining 🤣🤣) (I'm glad Dave can take a joke ) I love the show and all the honesty mixed with serious compassion for people and their problems 🤣🤣🤣 I have never seen such a show!!
You must live in a city in northern Canada? We wouldn’t get out of our driveway a lot of days if we didn’t have a decent truck. I wish I could drive a little car! 🚙
My dad controlled the household money tightly. Mom had to finally request a $5 monthly allowance for personal spending! She divorced him and never commingled funds with a spouse again.
There is an ancient Arab story about an old man and a young handsome guy that proposed to the same woman. the old man asked: how do you handle money? The young: I think about every cent I spend. The older: I have a bag of money and don't think about it until it end. The woman: I prefer a generous old to a stingy young.
@Lynne Bucher: thats what i was wondering too about the husbands willingness to allow the wifes input into the financial situations and budget? Just didnt seem to get that info out of this. But she should not have done this behind her husbands back, if thats what truly happened? Just seems like theres more to the story, maybe he could of had his wife on the call too? Also theres nothing wrong with putting your money together, IF its someone who is the same mindset as you and you work together for what you want. After your moms experience i can understand why that would be hard.
@@karlabritfeld7104 finance is the second cause of divorce. Money and a good relationship are linked. You have to be a child to think a good relationship is disconnected from money issues.
This is what I went through in my marriage but it turned physical and it isn't worth it. I have a teenage daughter and I want better for her. Thank you for all your help with Domestic Violence individuals.
As an adult who grew up in a situation where we were managing my father's emotions, it does not end well folks. It is a mess and the aftermath is people who are more likely to find others that will abuse them all over again. My father gave my mother $200 a month to pay all the bills and food in the 80s, when my father started his business. She did what she could with it.
My sister-in-law told our young adult niece that marriage is not all about love, it is a financial decision. I agree with that philosophy. Best advice ever. These calls prove it.
That’s horrible that she tells a young girl that. It is about falling in love. Of course it’s better to be on the same page financially but she is wayyyy off.
"Ive become someone else", I experienced that in a former relationship. Sometimes it is so gradual you dont even realize it until one day it slams you in the face. I am here to say you can free yourself and return to who you really are. 10 years later I am with my current partner and soooo so happy. I feel like we enhance each other and bring out MORE of who we each are as individuals. It has only gotten better since we both started watching Dave's channel and taking his advice. He knows what he is talking about! Working together fully and transparently has brought us closer than I even thought possible! It has been so great 😊 thats not even to mention the financial benefits!
I’ve always thought that the other spouse’s perspective was a big missing on many of these calls. Loved the email follow up and the coaching not to weaponize the good natured advice. Thanks guys you should probably have a marriage counseling branch and show. (Might already do)
@@meganwright842marriage is Not the problem....having kids is...plenty people are divorced with no lasting issues but have kids and you're connected forever 🤢
@@ykook7000bullshit. There are plenty of guys who have no kids and still get absolutely shafted. It makes it messier and worse sure, but why waste your life marrying someone.
I really appreciate making my way back to your channel. The world is still going through some scary things, but I really need to focus on what I can do to make myself mentally/physically/financially better.
I feel for this lady and I know how she feels as I've been in this situation. I hope she was ok after this call and got herself counselling or out of this marriage and house. He seems very controlling and she is obviously very scared of him.
I’m not understanding what the problem is with having two separate accounts but working together to take care of a household? It works for me and my husband. We have different responsibilities in taking care of the home but we work together in tandem
I Don't Want My Husband To Hear This Call! 0:24
My Wife Went Behind My Back! (You'll Want To Watch Until The End) 15:59
Your Husband Has Been Reading CRAP On The Internet! - Dave Ramsey Rant 23:45
Wife Has Been Lying To Me For 30 Years About THIS! 33:04
My Husband is 100% Sure That the World Will End Soon! 41:55
My Husband Wants To Put Us Back Into Debt For A Tesla! 48:52
Time stamps are wrong at the end!
@@michelleh4717 sure are!!!
48:52 husband thinks the world will end soon
56:59 My husband wants to put us back in debt
Please update time stamps.
Dave's line: "So how long has he been having an affair." ICE COLDDDDD! what a line!
During the coof pretty much impossible. Like they discussed later it was more likely seeing too much and him getting wound up by the media constantly. Being trapped inside that long can make most people go crazy and a lot of people couldn't turn it off.
Dave is the real deal no joke and hides from nothing LOVE THAT ABOUT HIM.❤😊
But probably true
And noticed that she didn’t instantly jump he’s not cheating. She paused for a long time
9/10 it’s an affair. It happen to me and all the signs were there. I was just reluctant to believe it was happening to me until I found 100% proof.
These calls just make me appreciate my spouse 10x more.
These calls make me appreciate my single status…
@@Project-Masculinity Nothing wrong with that either.
Same, it always makes me so grateful for a happy relationship with great communication.
Agreed. Although about 6x more in my case.
Then Miss FinFree Fin, you are a very lucky lady that has become a life long comment of a good decision on this very risky business called, "Marriage." I, too, has led a married life with a disconnected mate. Let, me see, how many ways that I can let you know, I'mmmmmmmm not connecting, and that I will put you thru this Sh......t that I will dish out! You, the caller, trying to whisper from up stairs?? Is this not your house too? I finally got rid of that bum, and he did die, facing four years imprisonment with his prost. girlfriend. I do think that this show is going to say, either combine or leave. But, I'll see what they both say. Heidi, don't worry, everything will turn out, you've got the best team on your side. 😎😎
That truck drivers life is overwhelmed and feels alone in the relationship. I can tell you right now. She feels like a single mom. and if she is working two full-time jobs, she deserves the van $10,000 is nothing for a van. My van was $25,000.
Lmao
She wanted to spend 5k on a van that she needs for the kids. He is rarely home. She's overwhelmed and about to give birth. I think Dave was a little overly harsh on her and the husband was manipulating everyone.
I agree. Plus she wanted an suv and he's pressuring her to get a minivan. How wants her to sell it over 5k to recommit to marriage , Like bro chill.
I think you need to consider her side of it. She is about to give birth and couldn’t wait. She probably found a great deal. She could have made a phone call to the husband but may have felt pressure from the car salesman. Everyone has felt that pressure before.
💯 my ex husband lost all our money on the sharemarkets put our house up behind my back.
He hit me. He left for another woman - when our baby was 6 weeks old
Got boarders and my sister to move in to help with the mortgage, he never paid child support etc
Went back to university
Worked 2 jobs
32yrs on
Freehold $2million home
Helped my capable saving adult daughter into her own home in her 20s, she’s now looking to buy another rental home
Still work full time and love it , have a lot in savings
Women you can do it and man is it satisfying!!!
Love from New Zealand 🇳🇿
I love this so much ❤
Hell yeah women can do it!! My grandma was a BEAST with her investments. That’s why I’ve always taken it so seriously, was because of my granny.
Good job!!❤❤
I'm proud of your achievments. Well done you.
Wow . Amazing come back story. Glad to hear you ended up on top !
My ex-husband was severely abusive..Dave is correct. I wasn't allowed to grocery shop, or shower more than once a week. He was beating me on a near daily basis. Got out with my 2 children by the grace of God! 44 years old and a second chance at life! 🌟
Glad you got out. I am single and the happiest camper on the face of the earth.
@MrPotsy81 thank you..yes, being single is such a blessing! I'm loving it, too.
@@AndiPandi1979 Great! People must Cherish you or say good-bye to them.
I'm happy you got to get out of that relationship. God bless you :)
@@CoryHall-li2sf, thank you so much! I give God all the glory, because I was so brainwashed and conditioned over time. His grace sustained me!! 🙏
Who you marry will be the biggest financial decision of your life.
Facts!
💯
Too true
I married Fannie Mae and we had a daughter named Zelle.
@@GMDOCNICE lol
I’m a truck driver. There is zero need to be an over the road trucker. You can find a job running locally, where you’re home every night and make plenty of money. It’s not fair to expect her to work a full time job and take care of small children fully on her own 95% of the time.
She's working 2 regular jobs!
@@curiousone6129 except one of them not being regular, but involving sleepless nights, emotional exhaust etc etc
He might have little experience and took a job where ever he could.
My Dad did that for us. He was an Engineer and his position was to travel and negotiate purchases of equipment for machines at his company. It felt like he travel 85% of the year. He filled it with family trips merged with business trips and most weekends. We knew he loved us (it showed in how hard he was going for us) but emotionally he just wasn’t present to fill us girls as much as we need to navigate life healthily and it took a mental and emotional toll on my mom.
He took a position that allowed him to work close to home when we were preteens/teen time. It was a pay cut initially but eventually he changed ranks and rose in income. I appreciate him for all of the sacrifices he made for us. He made not have gotten it all right and we’re not rich but we never wanted for anything (seemingly) and he financed retirement for him and my mom and still have enough to pass a substantial amount of money to his kids and grandkids as a gift after he’s no longer here. He’s been and always will be out rock.
Thats a single mans job.
“I don’t want my husband to hear” really hit me hard. I’m coming out of a divorce where honestly this woman’s comment are exactly what I went through. The difference is I am male and I was in a marriage being manipulated and lied to longer. I hope this helps many people see the signs before it’s too late. If you find yourself saying “I’m not the person I used to be” get help. If you can’t combine and discuss finances get help. If your spouse does not want you in their finances they are likely cheating or are going to. Get help. Life is so much better on the other side and you can be that person you were once proud to be.
It happened to me as well. When you marry a narcissist it means big trouble!
My husband and I married late in life, so each of us already has our own accounts. Never merged our money, just made sure we have beneficiaries set up for each account.
He’s a rage-a-holic 😢
“Narcissistic” and “manipulated” are buzzwords for women who didn’t do there part in their marriage and are now divorcee’s
@@startingtech3900The OP is male.
I got involved with a gal who had $150,000 debt. I have zero debt. Her denial, not her debt, and refusal to change her habits ended the relationship. Being in debt is always salvageable as long as you are willing to face it as a team
Oh boy I feel you! My lasz relationship basically broke over this. He did not want to admit to himself that being behind when it comes to paying taxes means YOU HAVE TAX DEBT and those are areal debts!
On top his family was financially in such a toxic way entwined I just can't.. He and his bigger brother got a house "gifted" by their dad. That house was basically a 2 family home so it was connected to the parents house with a floor connecting the 2 (and those doors never being locked between the 2 homes...).
In return he and the brother had to "support back" the retired father who made the downpaiment of 150k so 75k per son you can say. The "support back" money included a "feel well payment" for the car he was able to basically lease from his dads sidebusiness (he'd buy a car at a time, my ex was allowed to drive it till he'd cell it for a profit, gas included) that they'd estimate to be around 300$ out of 1500$ a month that he would pay the dad for the car and the house downpayment. But it was not considered paying off the downpayment so it would basically go on indefinately, while also paying the mortage of course additionally to that.
The conversation came up as we spoke about plans of moving together. In the end I was "the bad guy" cause we talked about different scenarios. I wasn't willing to move in woth them (obviously, and he also never asked me to as he could see how that would be uncomfortable for me), but he also didn't want to actually sell "his house" cause then the brother couldn't afford it and would be forced to rent again 😱. I even mentioned paying off his dad actually all at once together as the dad apprently relied on that money and therefore wanted to have a say in our plans and I wasn't willing to be put in a position of an adult child when planing my future in my 30's with a man 😂
Long story short: I was the devil who "wanted to tear the family apart" for pointing out what a mess it is and that they literally could never afford that house to begin with and that it's an unhealthy co-dependancy and wanting to dind solutions..
So glad I am now with an SO that is on the same page as me financially and also when it comes to dealing with family
Yep, been there done that. My first husband doled money out at his whim. I stayed home with baby, he went out drinking every night. Took two years for the first hit. Begged for forgiveness. I had no where to go and no money. Got me a job, moved up in company. Became youngest general manager in the company. I will never be in that situation again! Now I have my own business and married 24 years to the most wonderful man. My first hubby was murdered by 2 fellow employees for his income tax. Our children were 5 & 3. Life is hard. Its your choice to change. Pull up your bootstraps and LIVE!
Girl, me too, me too.
You are amazing.
Congrats on choosing peace and walking out!
Youre amazing ! So glad you found an amazing man!
You sound like a great mama!
If Dave calls you "baby doll"
You done messed up!!!
😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣 yep
😂🤣😂🤣😂
oh, daddy got mad🎉
😂😂
Right from the start, that first call broke my heart "my husband is downstairs and I don't want him to interrupt the call"... 🥺 sweetheart this is your home too 💔
She knew that, it was why she went upstairs to talk on the phone. I would have done that too.
I don't know why everyone is so against her needing to whisper in her home. She had a conversation with her husband about some "money experts" she was listening to. He disagreed with them. She's now on the phone with them asking for advice. So you whisper. Makes sense to me. She'll talk to him later about it if they gave her good talking points.
@@Fitmomlyfe exactly.
My husbands not an abuser but it would be so awkward for me to call a show for advice about our relationship in front of him. It makes total sense to me that she’s whispering to avoid the awkwardness.
@Fitmomlyfe nah.. you should be able to talk out loud in your own home. Your wife or husband shouldn't dictact what you do. That's where you leave.
Ramsey said the smartest thing I’ve heard him say ever.
ONCE a woman is done, she is done and there’s no looking back! When a wife stops complaining or fighting back. The end is just around the corner from there!
So true...
100%!
Be skeptical of these old guy “experts” on women who have only been with one woman since college.
I disagree, my ex wife stopped complaining and left me one day. Few months later she came back wanting us to rectify after SHE walked out of our built life together. She finally offered me marriage, having a baby etc. I figured if she was willing to leave out of no where in the past what would stop her from doing it again. We dated 8 years.
Both Mutually Waited on kids because of the cost. Proposed 3 times in the 8 year span. NEVER CHEATED.
Good men learn your worth. Don’t give people discounts on how poorly they treat you. Also, look in the mirror often.
Right. However many men interpret "the shutdown" as weakness. The truth is the fortress just slammed the gates, fill the most, and " maned" the towers. Full scale war and destruction follows. Some men even will blame her lawyer, friends, or family because he cannot conceive that she is the commander of the fortress. Remember he thought she was weak. So many dupes.
Dave: *PUT THE PHONE DOWN!!*
Me (on my phone): 👁👄👁
I’m watching this on my phone 😂
😂
I hope the first caller Heidi was able to stand up for herself and get into a better situation
Two sides to a story
@@roofroofroof1 why do you listen to the show if you don’t trust Ramsay’s intuition about her situation
@@melliebe6029 you can't tell them to listen if you didn't stick around for literally the NEXT caller. She was the crazy one who went behind his back to get a minivan, but then they discover he packed up his bags and took half the emergency fund? Ramsey's intuition didn't pick that one up did it?
@@roofroofroof1 you wouldn’t have said that if it was a man calling in. Why does this show attract so many men who hate women?
@@jrey1 irrelevant to the first call
"and PUT THE PHONE DOWN" but Dave I'm watching YOU on my phone 😂
14:15 John said put the phone down and go call a friend. Huh?😂
@@dylanbly3468 Yup. Stop entertaining yourself and go actually live. Connect with the people around you and do things with them. Texting has its usefulness but if people are important to you, show them with a phone call.
The best thing my counselor ever said was "look at his actions" not what he says. His actions tell everything.
Great advice wish I did that years ago then I would have had a different outcome
Same here. My therapist helped me understand and face the truth I already knew but I was so confused and terrified I couldn't make sense of it.
"Crazy-making" is real and Dave obviously understands this. He knows how important it is to tell someone they're not crazy off the bat, bc we're told by our abusive spouse constantly that we're crazy and stupid, and then they make sure we look absolutely nuts when friends and family are around- so we get to hear it from them too, especially when we try to get help from them and tell them what's really going on.
I happen to be female, but I know for sure thiis is happens to men just as often as to women in today's world. ❤
And what about YOUR actions?
It’s a two way street, Miss.
Counselors are in the business of validating women and their crappy behavior by making EVRYTHING the husband’s fault. The MOMENT he tries to point out a flaw in the wife, everything goes to hell.
It is horrible to live with a spouse that shuts you out.
Very sad when a spouse disconnects from you. It takes time to stop trying to fix it. Dave and John are spot on. Always listen to yourself. Good luck sister.
Just over here wishing Dave was my dad. Love his realism, wisdom and loving responses in these calls.
“She’s a cornered animal, and she bit you”… a lot of relationships could be saved if we understood this about each other 🤗
The Wife that bought the van behind their back just did their Debt Free Scream. It was an awesome testimony!!
Was it both of them or just her?
Do you know the name of that episode? I would like to see it!
SOMEONE LINK THIS IMMEDIATELY
WHY HASN'T THIS BEEN LINKED!
Someone link it I want to see the scumbag husband
"I was thinking a van. She was thinking an SUV."
She deals with the kids alone, practically 24/7, and he wanted to tell her what kind of vehicle she needed. That's why she went behind his back. It was not the right thing to do, but it was probably a passive aggressive way to get control over being told what she gets to need. My two cents.
She had THREE full time jobs, with taking care of the kids.
And he emptied half** their savings account and moved out!!
@@theMahtahild took half. Not emptied. There’s enough reason to hate. No need to misrepresent the facts.
@@MrJessenava oh my bad I was not paying 100% lol I fixed my comment. Damn now that I know it was only half I'm not as mad 😅😅 I thought it was a lot worse than that
@@MrJessenava she was working three jobs so I'd be interested to know if half was "his" or not, truck drivers to do make pretty good money 🤷🏻♀️
The way Dave Ramsey be shading and insulting people so dryly is freaking hilarious man 😂😂😂😂
Dude for real thank god for this man he really makes you want to get your shit together
Lack of testosterone makes old men cranky
Below is my thought before I heard the woman's side
The woman is a married single mom, and has a child she takes care of while the absent husband is always away. She is Pregnant and on top of that working two jobs! He has been absent why should she listen to him, she is struggling mentally, physically and emotionally to survive.
“You don’t wanna do this with some guys over a radio show or with a friend over a glass a wine” very good advice
sometimes everyone just needs someone to ask the hard questions and say the truth out loud to help them mentally.
When a man holds his money separately and guards/hides the details, he's working on his exit plan.
Right.. Red flag. Don't ignore or dismiss these type of behaviors.
Or he is in full defense mode so the bills get paid because she has a history of spending every dime that she can get her hands on while she is telling her "friends" that he is an evil abuser who wont let her have any money...
Or he's a control freak and feels threatened by the amount of money she's able to make.
@grega2362 That depends on when this behaviour started. If he was like that from the get go then he has controlling tendencies and needs to address this. If he had to step in afterwards out of necessity due to mismanagement by the wife then that's different.
When a spouse* holds their* money separately & guards/hides the details, they're* working on their* exit plan. Either way, no matter the spouse, separate money = exit plan.
I got together with my partner when she made considerably less than me, but she always lived with more abundance than me became she was better at saving and I was a spender... We have both progressed in our income over the years and now she is making even more than me. Between this show and learning from her. We are dept free and have a house we both love. I could not have ever imagined being where I am in life right now if I had stayed single.
Love this, so great to hear a story that honours your partner
That’s nice happy for you guys x
Bro the stats don't support your lifestyle. 7 out of ten Americans will never get married. I'm going to be honest and tell the truth. Men are to blame because we have learned the truth. Marriage in America under current laws aren't worth it.
"You two are a hot mess!" Love the Dave counseling style. 🙂
Hahahaha 😂I mean they seriously are
The wife of David from Louisville's wife was facing delivery of her baby alone if he were on the road, thousands of miles away. Was there another relative ready to help in the delivery room? All 3 men missed this completely. She was definitely making a plea for help.
And the price wasn’t crazy like $50k or anything.
What got to me was the whole idea that they could cut down and pay it off, from her own mouth. He's not at home more often than not. His side of the financials can't really be cut. He's got meals on the road, stops along the way, fuel, maybe the truck payment depending on the set up. There's very few ways for him to cheap out. She's the one at home. She can cut down on the electric bill, the grocery bill, the water bill, fuel for her car. She can shuffle the childcare around to cut expenses. She can pick up side gigs and overtime much easier than he can. She has all the power to make the real day to day financial changes for the family. In that same vein, she's the one who will bear the actual brunt of cutting down expenses. He won't, not in the same way. So yeah I can totally see her looking at an upgrade of a few thousand and saying, why not? It'll be my problem so it should be my decision. Not a very marriage mindset but I don't blame her with a baby about to pop and my partner in the wind, even if for all the right reasons.
@@mugglecatfulyou gotta be kidding she should pick up more side gig to make more $$ right? she already has a full time job(assuming no ot required at all times), and she has a toddler to take care of, and she's a week till delivery another baby, and you said she can pull in more income?! this is so fxxx up. At this point I'm worried who will help take care of her toddler while she's in the delivery room, since the truck driver already moved out and dumped all the responsibilities of kids on her. And everyone thinks she should be more responsible for the family?! What is Wrong with ppl these days?!
I never realized how lucky I have been. Listening to the stories here, I'm going to pray for these people.
I love how protective and loving John and Dave are
“You become an activist because you have nothing else to do”, banger of a quote
I was given $2 a day to pay for gas to drive my kids to school and had no job, no money. I got out and got a life.
Good for you!! ❤
Great work
I'll give you $2.50 baby 😘
Thank goodness!
That’s only four Susan B . Anthony’s!
I’m so glad my wife and I are on the same boat financially, I frequently say “I gotta check with my wife to see if we can get this” when making a bigger purchase, but it is to keep us on the same page and get her opinion. It is also an easy way to get out of buying something I’m not 100% sold on.
new to this show.
i like that he asked for the man to get off road to see and sympathize with an overwhelmed new mom of two. thank you for asking questions. and supporting this woman/ new mom. i didnt know id like these uncles and how supportive they are of women.
It's important to remember on these calls, regardless if it's the husband or wife calling in, that we're only hearing one side of the story.
People are so quick to pick a side without hearing both sides.
She’s leaving something out hugely 😂 either she’s been taking money out of the account behind his back or she’s trying to defend herself.
That is always true, but frequently irrelevant. We get the story we get and we have to make up our minds based on that. It is like if your therapist asked to check with your relatives if your story "checks out". This view might be influenced by Dr. Phil, who is fixated on "the truth" and on the very unreliable "science" of lie detection. A story has to be enough for us, only the judicial system gets to demand the other side.
@@aaronnilestoussaint5672👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 right! I was starting to thin’ I was crazy for being curious about the other persons side! There are 3 sides to every story: his, hers, and the truth.
@@antiantipodano it doesn’t, that’s bs. Therapists are not the same as audience members, they are there to provide viable coping mechanisms for the client and utilize the clients perspective as a lens to visualize how best to do that. For therapists, the client’s perception is their reality. Dr. Phil is not a therapist, he went to school for forensic psychology. His show isn’t him acting as a therapist which is why he is mutually communicative with guests whereas a therapist would let the client primarily speak. Dr Phil’s whole show is about problem solving. A huge part of problem solving contentious relationships , which most of his guests have, is to get down to the nitty gritty, bring both perspectives to the table, and sort between truth and lie. Therapists aren’t typically bridge building, they are solving an individualized mental health problem. How does that correlate to Dr.Phil who typically tries to keep families together &/or repair the broken relationship🤔🤷🏽♀️ we as audience members of Dave’s show aren’t doing any of that🙄 we are here as bystanders to be entertained or apply these lessons to our own life.
These are real ppl and many of us can relate or know someone who can. May of us have had ppl mischaracterize a situation to ruin our relationship and evade accountability which is why we are open to hearing the other side. There are also cultural issues such as society coddling women while shaming men, society believing all women are innocent and do nothing wrong, and society telling men they are GUILTY until proven innocent when a woman accuses them of something that he truly didn’t do. Situations like Amber Herd & Johnny Deep, Chris Brown & Rihanna, & Jonah Hill & his ex have caused skepticism among us. Women tried to ruin all those men while lying, being evasive, &/or failing to take ownership of their own abuse.🤷🏽♀️ I am over being told we can never question anything a woman says bc she is infallible. You are free to believe only one side if you want, this rhetoric is what bit Lizzo in the butt and now she wants ppl to believe her even though she had your same mindset where ppl should only believe the side of the story they’ve been given and never dare to inquire for more information or free-think. You can’t have your cake & eat it too so think about how you would feel in that situation.
I got into trucking almost two years ago. Did a year otr and realized if I ever wanted a family I'd need to get something local or build up enough so I can stay home for the first few months when kids are born. Got a few endorsements now I run crude oil, make more money, and am home every day. That driver has issues if he doesn't realize the flaws in his lifestyle!
Facts
I agree. A man away from his family 5 days of the week can’t focus on his family. I say that having a dad who would do clean up disaster jobs and would be gone for months
I can’t “PUT THE PHONE DOWN,” this is how I’m watching YOU.
I remember the beginning of my relationship with my girlfriend. I didn't know couples had separate finances. It just didn't make sense. We were very young when we met, so we had hypothetical marriage conversations early. She said she'd never tie finances because that's what her parents did, and it always worked for them. I disagreed harshly. Shortly after her parents divorced (for a great many reasons other than finances), she changed her tune and now she's even talking about being a SAHM. I wouldn't have it any other way. After love, money is the most important thing in a marriage, and how can you have a marriage when you didn't even share part 2 of the recipe.
Dave not only is finacial wizard, he can do marriage counselling and great at calling peoole out in their nonsense...You all do such a great job at giving advice and guidance
Financial . Counseling. People.
“Turn off the Fox News or CNN.” YES. Both keep the amygdala firing; the sky will ALWAYS be falling. The psychology of fear makes millions for these “news” sources. Keep it up, Mr. Ramsey & company, both your message and method! 👍🏻
I love Dave’s honesty about marriage counseling helping his marriage. That will absolutely help his listeners.
I am impressed with Dave and John, how do they "get it" from these callers so quickly? Wow! You two are the best! The whole team is great!
How? I’d have to say discernment honed by years of experience and loving the Lord (wisdom)
She needs to leave that person! No need to live your life in constant fear and deprivation….Life is too short not to be happy!
There are two sides to a story.
@@roofroofroof1 it is probably worse as she is continually downplaying it. Sounds like you are the husband.
@@dudeorduuude5211 Amen, this guy is going around to various comments saying stuff about her. 😂 He's the husband one way or another.
This woman is due to have baby number 2 in 9 days time. She wanted it done.
She also is home alone whilst husband is off trucking. She is used to making day to day decisions alone. Husband sounds appallingly self righteous.
He needs to be there with his wife instead of trying to control her.
Yes , I agree . The car is for her use and she knows what suits her.
@@BlackStump172that husband should be taking unpaid leave to be there for his baby and wife. As for the car drama- 2 baby seats fit in any small car with no issues. When you need to fit 3 baby car seats- then, yes, some cars are too tight.They just need a drama.
He sounds like an insecure loser
@@loft27ssthat husband should be taking a local job, there's an extremely limited number of situations where a parent is justified in being away from home that much with kids in diapers, and plain Jane PTR trucking ain't one of them.
Baby can come tonight! For God's sake!!!!
My favorite from Dave: 'A wussified America instead of a manly righteous anger' - Priceless!
YES! Marriage was so hard on me. He changed a year into marriage and pushed hard to solely take over the rent and some bills . Then when I finally said he could pay the rent, he made sure to say if I made him mad, didn’t agree with him on something, or didn’t clean enough I would be kicked out on the street with no where to live. Keep in mind everything in the apartment was what I had prior to marriage.
He always was screaming, angry, slamming doors, throwing things, breaking expensive items I had from years ago speakers, tv’s etc. just so he could use fear to keep me in line. The church just told me I needed to be more obedient to my husband and never make him mad so he wouldn’t feel the need to act out towards me. I kept trying to find my part in how to take accountability for my own actions and focus less on his. He would continue to scream and spit at me while I laid in bed motionless staring at the wall. I made sure to just keep quiet and not react.
One night I just prayed to God asking if he could please still love me if I left my husband and I escaped the apartment that night and left all my things and started over with nothing. Marriage was total hell. The financial aspect was hard too and what saved me was the stash of cash I had in my car after someone from the domestic abuse hotline asked me to start saving. She was a lifesaver. Now I always try to keep cash stashed from my PTSD. I’m terrified of marriage now. A Christian marriage was not like how I was taught it was supposed to be. ☠️
The court granted my freedom with divorce ❤
Choose a better man next time. That man has a lot of growing up to do. What a loser of a boy. Hope you move slow in your next relationships with others and get understanding of people you deal with in your life. Have a plan.
That sounds so traumatic! I'm so sorry you went through that! Your ex-husband was not a christian man. A true christian husband sacrifices everything to take care of and put his wife 1st. I'm praying you can find forgiveness, not for him but for you. That you can find healing and freedom. Then when you are ready you can find a real christian man who will love you like Christ loved the church and will give himself up for you. And you won't make him pay for what your ex did to you. Prayers and Hugs.
Oh... my heart just breaks for you. I'm so, so sorry. 😢
People don't change like that, there were warning signs you didn't recognize. Learn the warning signs, and avoid those people. You can usually test them in a way that's harmless to a healthy minded person but when you do it to those people it hurts them deeply because they have a dysfunctional psyche.
The church unfortunately messes up a lot of things, and most don't understand the predatory people we live with day to day. You must learn scripture on your own, come to your own conclusions, and when you seek guidance from the church it is only guidance, not demands. Remember that the church has had many problems with corruption in the past and that your trust in the church feeds their power. If you have a proper understanding of the Bible through your own readings and interpretation you will have a better understanding of everything.
There are plenty of narcissist people in church.
Loving this 'Best of the Ramsey Show' episodes!! I learn a lot from these.
My husband and I discuss everything and decide on everything together.
Same here.
Well arnt you lucky
Same
@@AFBudgets What is this comment lol stop.
Thanks!
Every single person who is thinking about getting married in this day and age should be mandated to watch this show for at least 10 episodes.
I don't like mandates...
I bet there’d be less divorce rates!
Wow great advice!
The guy who was experiencing the financial issue with his wife - this conversation has given me a new perspective to consider in regards to my current relationship issue. Crazy that it's come from a finance topic. Thanks for adding so much value to people's lives!
Thanks!
Man what I would do for a wife that could be so caring and bare 2 children to me and could make 90k with her career like insane how scared she sounds in fear of this monster she lives with. She sounds amazing and you need a new life sweetheart 😊❤
She is 9 months pregnant, raising a child alone, and working two full time jobs whilst husband is never around, GIRL LEAVE!!
@@2and1CreativeHomeSolutions I love to be 😊
PRAY! God hears all prayers.
She's married. You don't leave when you don't like something. You compromise. Terrible advice.
@@zeroplagueseriously. Its not like the guys out drinking all the time or fucking around. He’s in a truck 24/7😂 new career maybe
Children* not child. Worked 2 jobs. Hubbys a non supportive father. Who can blame her?!
I hope the first caller gets the strength and courage to want better ❤
I love ❤ the 😂 "Put the phone down", well I'm watching on my phone, U-tube. 😂
George agreeing at 26:07 “I’m too nice”
Haha love it.
What a blessing that this channel exists
Just want to say i've been married 6 years, my husband and I took financial peace before we got married. on a civil servant salary with kids we have a paid off car, another 4 year degree, and paid off over 20,000 in NICU visits, now we are looking for our first house. Joint finances in a respectful marriage works! you just need to be fully realized adults.
For the second call, we were recently in a moderate car accident, that we were not at fault. We went from one car to zero cars because it was totaled. When we started talking about newer to us car, I wanted a Honda Odyssey since we are going to be a family of 5 next summer. My husband told me it was not likely in the budget to get a reliable one. So, we went to a used dealership and got a ten year old GMC Acadia for $6k. Once insurance went through from the at faults driver, we spent under $1k on it, which we had in an emergency fund. I love it and it will work perfectly for our family. My husband was blessed with skills to work on cars so we also have saved money by having him fix a few little things the car needed. I am also very happy to continue to not have a car loan we are paying every month
Some of these people are in very scary situations. I pray they find peace.
Many women are in abusive relationships and do not know it’s abuse. I was in an emotional, psychological, eventually physical abusive relationship and I had to be told by a police officer what it was. You get to the point where the person you trust makes you feel like you’re the crazy one. Just the fact that they were calling this out and validating her feelings probably just changed her entire life.
Dave makes the most logical argument against buying gold I’ve ever heard.
@@idaUnchained I've lived by the thought that if it's heavily advertised investment it cannot possibly be of value. If it was they wouldn't have to advertise. Same to true for male/ female enhancement products. I've not invested in any gold/silver/gems. I have purchased those items because they appeal to me on an aesthetic line not an investment line. Same thought applies to many other things.
" When she won, I won !" Preach 🤣
I love Rachel's expressions when she's intently listening to a caller explain their (stupid) idea 😂
I have observed you are all so compassionate and gentle with people going through such hardships. And overall you are so savvy about financial planning and decisions. Thank you.
I loved his balanced response about the new mom married to the guy who was gone 85% of the year.
It is heartbreaking to be lonely when your not alone....
I was in a similar marriage as the first lady. It was a nightmare.
So glad you’re out of it! Much love to you ❤❤
I was too. But I stupidly waited 19 years to get out of it. Better late than never I suppose.
I'm so glad that they did a follow up with the over the road truck driver with the pregnant wife.
When I was 24 I had an older divorced girlfriend tell me, "You're at the age where you're going to start meeting and dating divorced men. Don't ever forget that there are always at least two sides to every story."
That advice served me well sometimes. I was thinking of that as I listened to the first part of that phone call.
Now to the part where he says when the woman has held her breath for however long...when she's done, she's done.
I held my breath for 6 years and didn't know I was holding my breath.
But when I woke up and realized all I'd been doing is holding my breath and trying to survive without having any tools or knowing what it took to change the circumstances, I just had to get out. I couldn't take the lying and the cheating, the stalking.
I was drowning and the only way I knew how to fix it was to get as far away from it as possible.
At that point he decided we needed marriage counseling but the only marriage counseling he would go to are the ones that agreed with him anybody who disagreed with him or came close to recognizing what the problems were, were deemed nuts.
I wish I would have had a Dave Ramsey back then. 😢
I really like Dave urging people to put the phone down and stop soaking up all the news. All it does is promote anxiety, as shown by some of the calls on this episode. Absolutely correct in the flight or fight response and the dumb decisions that get made because of it.
Thank you Dave and your team for helping people with finances and freedom in Christ.
A safe car for the babies is a real mom thing.
I have a funny feeling Sharon Ramsey is a sweetheart and people asked how did u end up with Dave?? (At least in the begining 🤣🤣) (I'm glad Dave can take a joke ) I love the show and all the honesty mixed with serious compassion for people and their problems 🤣🤣🤣 I have never seen such a show!!
The justification of a bigger vehicle gets me. We had two kids 17 months apart and drive a civic, in Northern Canadian winters.
It was HIS idea to begin with. Maybe trade up when you’re looking at baby #3.
You must live in a city in northern Canada? We wouldn’t get out of our driveway a lot of days if we didn’t have a decent truck. I wish I could drive a little car! 🚙
You cared little about your kids.
My dad controlled the household money tightly. Mom had to finally request a $5 monthly allowance for personal spending! She divorced him and never commingled funds with a spouse again.
Five dollars monthly oh my god yeah she should’ve left him along time ago
There is an ancient Arab story about an old man and a young handsome guy that proposed to the same woman.
the old man asked: how do you handle money?
The young: I think about every cent I spend.
The older: I have a bag of money and don't think about it until it end.
The woman: I prefer a generous old to a stingy young.
@@Wa7edmenalnass of course.... the old is generous and will die earlier, the younger one is stingy and healthy, easy choice 😀
@Lynne Bucher: thats what i was wondering too about the husbands willingness to allow the wifes input into the financial situations and budget? Just didnt seem to get that info out of this. But she should not have done this behind her husbands back, if thats what truly happened? Just seems like theres more to the story, maybe he could of had his wife on the call too? Also theres nothing wrong with putting your money together, IF its someone who is the same mindset as you and you work together for what you want. After your moms experience i can understand why that would be hard.
That's abuse.
Spending $5k over budget on a minivan thats gonna serve its purpose.. really guys? 🙄🙄
I have an addiction: Dave Ramsey show calls as to why I’m not married. 😄
Pretty sad when money is more important than a good relationship.
@@karlabritfeld7104 finance is the second cause of divorce. Money and a good relationship are linked. You have to be a child to think a good relationship is disconnected from money issues.
Married people end up far wealthier than singles. Marry the right person.
It’s not easy living on love.
This is what I went through in my marriage but it turned physical and it isn't worth it. I have a teenage daughter and I want better for her. Thank you for all your help with Domestic Violence individuals.
As an adult who grew up in a situation where we were managing my father's emotions, it does not end well folks. It is a mess and the aftermath is people who are more likely to find others that will abuse them all over again. My father gave my mother $200 a month to pay all the bills and food in the 80s, when my father started his business. She did what she could with it.
My sister-in-law told our young adult niece that marriage is not all about love, it is a financial decision. I agree with that philosophy. Best advice ever. These calls prove it.
That’s horrible that she tells a young girl that. It is about falling in love. Of course it’s better to be on the same page financially but she is wayyyy off.
"Ive become someone else", I experienced that in a former relationship. Sometimes it is so gradual you dont even realize it until one day it slams you in the face. I am here to say you can free yourself and return to who you really are. 10 years later I am with my current partner and soooo so happy. I feel like we enhance each other and bring out MORE of who we each are as individuals. It has only gotten better since we both started watching Dave's channel and taking his advice. He knows what he is talking about! Working together fully and transparently has brought us closer than I even thought possible! It has been so great 😊 thats not even to mention the financial benefits!
I’ve always thought that the other spouse’s perspective was a big missing on many of these calls. Loved the email follow up and the coaching not to weaponize the good natured advice. Thanks guys you should probably have a marriage counseling branch and show. (Might already do)
He’s my favorite cohost for Dave because he tends to read between the lines in a psychoanalytic way😊
I listened to this clip the other day. Very powerful and heart breaking.
My friends are Mormons and have led me to believe that that's how the Mormon religion dictates the financial life is in a marriage
I have bought and sold lots of gold and it is the most liquid asset there is. Walk in, they look at it for about a second, walk out with cash.
Being single is such a blessing ❤
You get married couples that act like pre-teen siblings with each other, instead of fighting over the bathroom, they’re fighting over finances.
The wife who bought the car behind his back makes me think he was not letting her get the car she wanted.
Most of these couples should never have married.
These calls help singles like me! 👍🏽
@@meganwright842 🤣
@@meganwright842marriage is Not the problem....having kids is...plenty people are divorced with no lasting issues but have kids and you're connected forever 🤢
@@ykook7000bullshit. There are plenty of guys who have no kids and still get absolutely shafted. It makes it messier and worse sure, but why waste your life marrying someone.
I am so glad to listen when you co-host this program, John. 🌟💖
I really appreciate making my way back to your channel. The world is still going through some scary things, but I really need to focus on what I can do to make myself mentally/physically/financially better.
You and me both.
me too
Be careful who you marry folks
More like be careful who you have kids with
Plenty of childless marriages and divorces have no lasting effects
Be VERY careful.
I feel for this lady and I know how she feels as I've been in this situation. I hope she was ok after this call and got herself counselling or out of this marriage and house. He seems very controlling and she is obviously very scared of him.
I’m not understanding what the problem is with having two separate accounts but working together to take care of a household? It works for me and my husband. We have different responsibilities in taking care of the home but we work together in tandem
Yep that's how it should be