Honestly with the first story, the fact the recovered messages matched what Phil said they were should tell you all you need to know about who’s fault that was and who to believe
@@kimberlyyyyy44 He hid the situation, gaslit his wife, and straight up lied several times. He allowed her anxiety to fester. Rather than be open with her about what happened so that he can have the opportunity to help her through it, and rather than inform her about her "friend" so she can choose whether or not to end the friendship, he literally tried to deceive her. That deprived her of security. It made her *insecure*. He should've been there for her, but she had to push and push and push and go onto Reddit for help just to get him CAUGHT. He didn't admit to anything on his own. And men who aren't trying for anything sus wouldn't hug a woman he isn't with if he's hard. He'd have to be pressed up against her for several pulses. I know men can feel it start to happen. He'd pull away at the first pulse if it wasn't intentional. And the first pulse she honestly probably wouldn't have noticed. He intentionally pressed himself against her. I'm disgusted by the husband. I'd never do anything even a quarter as bad to a partner. If a guy did that to me, I'd absolutely leave. Even if I was married to him for 4 years. I'd permanently lose sexual attraction after something like that, and I wouldn't stay in a relationship with someone I'm not willing to have sex with. I'd rather be happy alone than spend extra time with someone who doesn't deserve it.
12:50 my husband and I have a rule that whenever we feel some vibes from someone else we immediately tell the other. We've been married more than 25 years and it's happened to both of us. The key is immediate communication, and dropping any dubious friendships.
@@tilagicaLove the way you handled that. That sounds like such an uncomfortable and awkward situation but you did the right thing anyway. Celebrating you for this 🎉
Story 1 : Guys can get hard for no reason reason and it is always very embarrassing to them. Phil felt guilty because he thought his body betrayed his marriage by reacting but truly, it is not his fault. He could not control it and reacted the right way. Also, it is difficult to handle a drunk person, I would not be angry at him for the hug either. He tried to be polite and she took advantage of him like the predator she is. He should have told his wife immediately, it would have saved a lot of grief on both part. She would not have doubted him and he would have get her support.
r u a fucking retard?? he can control it. my bf don’t get hard for my friends. she needs to have self respect that’s embarrassing. he don’t love her he loves the friend. ur penis don’t get hard for nothin.
And also, in those kinds of situations it can be normal to have a reaction despite not wanting it. Things with like harassment etc, your body can react but it doesn’t mean you are mentally okay with such things
Phil made me proud that he ran to his car. The entire situation obviously made him extremely uncomfortable, which is NOT how cheaters react. He should have told his wife immediately, but that is really the only thing I would fault him for. And as far as "becoming aroused" goes, men have no control over that. I think it was Denzel Washington who said, "Whenever I have a love scene with anyone, I apologize in advance if I become physically aroused, and I also apologize in advance if I don't." I think Phil is a good one. Hold on to him.
I also see him not telling his wife as him not wanting to ruin his wife’s friendship knowing that they’re best friends. Maybe he was trying to have empathy for Dana being drunk and letting it be a misunderstanding.
Mmmm no. He should have told her, he’s not innocent here. Something is not right with this whole situation. If her lies about something, he could lie about anything.
I agree 100%! The only thing he didn't do that I feel he should have was to tell his wife right away. Like you said, sometimes men can get aroused over nothing and aren't always in control of it. It doesn't automatically mean they are attracted to someone or want to be with them intimately. I'm glad they were able to retrieve those text messages so he could show his wife the whole exchange for their peace of mind.
This. Anyone, regardless of sex or gender, can experience arousal at any time cuz our bodies are just weird like that. In fact, close contact even with people you're not interested in can cause arousal in heightened situations, and coming down from a concert high is definitely one of those times. I suspect Dana considered this and made her move hoping Phil would just give in to the post-concert high arousal, and when he didn't, she felt embarrassed at the rejection and that's why she responded so harshly to being confronted. This is my theory. Phil definitely should have said something about it, and he knows he should have. Hopefully he learned that he needs to communicate when these things happen cuz it's not just him that Dana disrespected with her behavior.
Can confirm, when my ex was cheating with a friend they never avoided time together. Her mom actually called them out, and told me, one day while we were all together.
in fairness, in my case they cheated while I was away then avoided each other when I came back because they had a falling out over whether to tell me. They decided against it until 2 months later when my (ex)friend changed her mind. Had a feeling the whole time and they avoided each other at all times except when they felt it would look bad. It definitely varies. He's also my ex btw, thank goodness, but sad to say I dodnt end it then.
I wish my ex’s mom was like this. She knew and kept quiet cause “she didn’t see anything” and I was “a daughter she never had.” I’m just grateful I wanted to end things anyway but it doesn’t change the betrayal of the matter.
Story 2 : Her friend doesn’t even want the guy, she just doesn’t want her friend to have him. There are people like this, children act like this, they want a toy someone else is more interested in.
I think it's two things from that friend. The fact she probably wanted the serious date Jake and him not wanting that. And that she might have a complex making her think that she was better than op and how dare she have someone she can't.
Izzy's def the pretty girl who's surprised/upset her "average" friend is getting married and settling down first. The whole "She let me have him" was definitely to make herself feel better.
I agree. Izzy may be better looking and it's easier for her to date a lot. But her less pretty friend found love and settled down with one of her "rejects", she's salty and condescending...
Yep. When I got engaged first my “best friend” looked at my ring, rolled her eyes and said. “I knew that was going to happen”. It took me many years to realize she wasn’t a friend. Too bad we didn’t have Charlotte 20 years ago :)
I don't know if she's upset that she's settling first but the desire to feel superior. "I had him first, he's my leftovers, understand that he wasn't good enough for me, understand that she is settling for what I considered expendable, understand that he's my used goods so the both of them are less than." Just happy she's not pulling a "I can take him back at any time I want but I won't because I'm nice. Just everyone needs to know your places under me."
Regarding Phil's "excitement" it genuinely is not his fault and could definitely mean nothing. There's a studied phenomenon called "nonconcordance" that shows that contrary to popular belief, these things are actually not related to arousal and wanting something nearly as much as we think. It simply is your brain categorizing a situation (like a half-naked woman hugging you) as "sex related" and making your body react to it. It does not mean you want it!! Also very important for victims of SA to know. And also unfortunately something that leads to people being assaulted because the person is essentially telling them "you got a boner/you're wet so you clearly want this" even though they don't. Just because there is a bodily reaction to a context that could be interpreted as sexual by their body doesn't mean the person wants it. One more thing where sex ed absolutely falls short in properly educating people that is causing actual harm to people.
@@keplersdream901 Him not telling her WAS his only fault in that situation. Caroo isn't talking about that though and his body reacting to something he didn't want WASN'T his fault.
@@keplersdream901… so the comment mentions how it’s not someone’s fault for suffering SA, and you go “how dare they feel shame”? Be better. Seriously. There are no words for your audacity.
@@keplersdream901 I didn't see where OP said that wasn't Phil's fault, they simply made a point about the "auto arousal." Tell me how you got OP was saying he wasn't at fault for not telling his wife? Don't worry, ill wait. 😏
Don’t blame Phil for what little Phil was thinking while a woman was throwing herself at him. Little Phil has a mind of his own and no morals. Phil did the right thing by removing little Phil from the situation.
@@AngelJulietEven for women, the body’s response doesn’t mean much. Fear and arousal can also be processed the same in the body so it literally doesn’t mean you’re excited. Men and women raped sometimes experience pleasure, it doesn’t mean they actually enjoy it
@@Catherine.Dorian.this! Some victims have a hard time being taken seriously when they seek healing/justice because of how their body responded. Arousal and pleasure are NOT consent!
"Phil removing Little Phil from the situation" sounds like the tall more sober friend manhandling the small drunk friend away from a fight they tried starting 💀
11:14 noo.. No.. A physical reaction doesnt necessarly mean anything. Our bodies react, that doesnt mean our mind agrees. Its very important to understand. This is how SA survivors get stuck, they confuse their body reacting to stimuli to them WANTING something. Thats just not true. Often these two correlate but not always.
I think whats happening with izzy in the last story is that she realizes that she maybe thought that the guy wasnt really marriage material, and then seeing OP get together with him and get far along enough to get engaged, she got jealous and insecure, and regretful that she let him go too quickly
I'm not sure it's about that specific guy per se, I'm feeling it's more a "how could YOU get engaged before me??" and she's using the fact she slept with the guy first as a weapon. She would have found other jokes to make even if she had never met the guy before.
I don't think she was thinking that far. She doesn't look like someone who's looking for a serious relationship per se. More like she's trying to choose the best guy out there. So all who don't meet her expectations get rejected. But she's sure she could have anyone if she wanted. They're just not good enough for her, like Jake. She's jealous that the TS got married first. But she needs to make sure everyone knows that it's because she's picky and hot. Because if she wasn't the TS would not have Jake. So nasty.
Pro tip: if it's "just a joke", then when somebody says "that's not funny" or "that made me uncomfortable", you stop making that joke with them. It's called "not being a jerk".
I always thought I was the unfunny friend because they would make jokes. I was uncomfortable with they would just say, "You're overreacting it's just a joke. You're too sensitive." This has healed something in me
Honestly, I think Phil was chalking up Dana's behavior to alcohol and thought it was just a one time lapse in judgment and wanted to distant himself from her.
But don't forget he had a moment with her bestie but poor man right he should be ashamed to say that to his wife and lie to her. All I'm saying I couldn't trust that person again and the best friend would be gone out my life.
@@toxiczombiewolf5692 what did he lie about? you feminist clearly on the side of OP best friends. I love how you admit you are just as toxic as the best friend
NO. As an alcoholic, this is so not true. You do things that you WOULD NEVER do sober, but that doesn't mean that you do things because it's true to your nature. I always take responsibility for my drunken actions, even if I won't do them sober. I've said things that I would never say while I'm sober. In fact, I was horrified...
Cant blame phil for a natural physical reaction. Ppl have reactions like that even in nonconsensual interactions because its just normal physiology. A shirtless woman was trying to throw herself at him and his body reacted even if his mind didnt want it, and he did the appropriate thing and shut it down
@@LucaDGropius lmfaoo i live w my soon to be husband ik how a penis works i use one everyday. he’s never gotten one from being around my friends bc that’s not normal 💀💀. he agreed ur all dumbasses
@@alissagrubbs-b6x LoL talk that to man that suffered SA. Everything works even if you don't want to work. You don't know THE BASICS to claim that. Get some help because for F sakes.... People like you make's even worse
I've lost long term friends due to narcissism. It's not noticable at first. They slowly get more and more noticeably narcissistic over years, until their controlling nature and additude of "I'm always right" gets so bad that you just can't be around them anymore, for your own safety and well being. It's just a matter of time before people who sided with the ex-friend stop being friends with her, too.
This is so true… I think it’s not noticeable at first because they are putting on an act to make you believe you have a lot in common & whatnot , they don’t know how to be authentic & are sometimes gifted liars/manipulators. But the truth always shows up in the end …
Yep. Ended up betrayed, hurt, and dropped by that narcissistic friend when she found a "better" best friend in senior year of hs. She projected her narcissism onto me while having a raging inferiority complex. It was a lovely experience for my little people pleasing baby self.
I was love-bombed by a friend who shows signs of narcissism, and I believe everyone else in the friend group was too. Only thing is, I am one of the few who see them for who they are. While this friend is still in our lives, if they cross one more boundary, they are cut off. I believe people can change and grow up with time, which is why I have given this friend one more chance, but that's it.
@@Pink_Heart_Concha they do sometimes travel in packs it seems! Be careful & guard your heart… not everyone deserves a 2nd chance (but it seems you’re already listening to your intuition which is awesome) - not trying to come off as condescending, just wish I’d had access to some of this info when I was younger & learned the hard way myself. love to hear folks from younger generations talking about enforcing boundaries & whatnot ❤️ Stay safe out there!
The second story. OP can "joke" back that yeah you date him first but i the one who got the ring 😊 give her you best and cute smile and be happy on her behalf
That 1st story had me thinking of Charlotte’s voice: “With friends like these, who needs anemones?” Edit to add: I typed this out as the 1st story was ending. 😂 I guess I know Charlotte by now, considering she actually said it at the end of the video.
It really sucks when someone who you considered a 'best friend' betrays you. And girl friends can truly be absolutely RUTHLESS & BRUTAL towards one another. And that betrayal cuts deep... Luckily I have one girl bff that has been my rock almost my entire life. Just about any & every memory of my childhood or any big significant event in life, this girl has been right there. And vice versa. We met the first day of kindergarten & everyday asked our moms if our "new best friend" could come over. Our moms quickly realized we were determined to be BFF's so it wasn't long before our parents became friends too. Her parents are my step parents and my parents are her step parents. My older brothers beat her up & teased her no different than they did to me. And she is an only child, but considers my brothers & myself as her siblings. Our friendship truly is a once in a lifetime kinda friendship. Almost 35yrs, that's the majority of our entire lives. Not everyone has a friend like that and I know I'm beyond lucky & blessed to have her. When we turned 16 we kept the 1 & the 6 candle so when we turn 61 we can use them again. Same w our 18th birthdays. If ever you come across your friend soulmate, hold on to them & cherish & nurture the friendship bc its not something you'll find everyday. Some people never have a friend like that.
I'm so glad to hear that! I wish everyone could find such great friends. I'm especially lucky as I have 2! They both live far away now but we have a group chat to be able to talk to each other whenever we want 🙂 I haven't seen one in person for a few years now as she lives in Florida but my other friend is only a couple of hours away so I'm still able to see her in person more often but neither of these 2 would ever treat me badly or I to them. Been friends since school, bout 20-30 yrs now.
A soulmate is just that. They can be anyone to you. Your friend, Child, Sibling, Cousin or Lover. What a beautiful friendship and story✨ Thank you for sharing that. It's precious and I'm glad you appreciate it. The world needs to hear more like this. 💗
In my opinion, the friend that jokes about dating Jake first is low key jealous her friend is getting married and she isn’t. It has nothing to do with Jake, it’s more to do with the fact her friend found someone while she’s still dating around single. Just my thoughts .
Unfortunately, Phil isn't able to control what little Phil does. Little Phil has no brain and just acts. I actually don't believe that Dana was drunk. I think she used that as an excuse to try to get Phil into her apartment.
@@terilouder8711 People with penises will get hard sometimes regardless of the circumstances and what they're thinking. Be careful thinking like that because that's what gets some male SA victims dismissed in a lot of cases :\
Phil not only removed himself from the situation an took his wife not feeling well into account when he got home but didn't want to break up her friendship with Dana and kept himself away from her. He's a keeper for sure ❤
He was also willing to cancel the concert when she wasn't able to go, OP was insistent about it and invited the other friend. He should have told her straight away, but genuinely I don't think he knew how to navigate the situation.
The Phil drama is exactly why my husband never has him being alone with a woman. His reputation is protected and no problems occur. Dana is not a friend and should be dumped. Also, if Phil would have just told his wife what happened major damage could have been avoided. That being said, him fleeing the situation was on point.
Izzy reminds me of a friend I had in college, she asked if I wanted an outfit that she said did not look good on her but looked "ok" on me when I tried it on, I got a lot of compliments and she kept telling people it was hers that she threw out. She didn't want it back, just didn't want anyone to look better in it. Obviously not the same as a relationship, but it reminded me of how insecure people can be.
My best friend announced her engagement at her 31st birthday party. I was speechless and started to tear up, I refused to ball my eyes out 😅. I was so happy for her and I still am! Now I’m a bridesmaid and I just don’t wanna cry through the whole ceremony. 😊🎉
Yeah, I learned sometimes your body sends blood down there for multiple reasons (one of which I believe is just to check if your little buddy isn't missing), so I don't really think "morning wood" is really tied to one's feelings
@@thatonewitchno, and this is SO not the first time people not knowing the biology v romance distinction has caused serious problems - poor Phil, that month must have been hell in his head!!
@@fionam7768 lmaoo poor Phil?! You mean the mean how lied and hid evidence of anything repeatedly and consistently from the wife he allegedly loves? That Phil?
Charlotte. Girl. May I just say. How much I absolutely ADORE it when you start gobble gobbling the way you do in your AITA intros🤣. All rise for the Honourable Queen Petty Potatoe. ❤️. Love you babes. Stay awesome. Big fan 🙏🏽🫶🏽.
Give Phil a break! Just because he had a # doesn't mean he wanted to cheat. Penile tumescence is physiological, autonomic response. That "moment" was just his body's response to stimuli. He clearly had no desire to pursue her. Give him an award. He didn't even want to go to the concert in the first place. He was afraid that he would be blamed, which is why he said nothing. He loves his wife and is a man of steel for fleeing from her.
Bro he said he had a moment with her bestie but couldn't describe it like no moment should be happening. The fact he didn't tell her right away that's not a good person. He should have been honest from the start.
@@toxiczombiewolf5692 I mean, nothing actually happened besides a hug. Telling your partner your got a boner cause her friend hugged you is stuff you keep to yourself.
@@RealJacior but that isn’t what happened is it? That’s a dishonest retelling of what happened. And if you or Phil can so causally lie to yourselves and significant other like that, you are 100% absolutely not to be trusted
Phil sounds sweet. You can't always control how your body physically reacts, it doesn't have to mean anything. It definitely explains why he felt weird about the 'moment' when nothing actually happened. Hope that lady finds some better friends.
He could've definitely helped hugging and having a moment with a girl who was obviously making moves, she got shirtless and he still thought he should go to her door and hug 😂 it sounds like maybe they had hung out a lot so he may have been very comfortable but still he has to be some kind of stupid to think she was being innocent. And then keeping it secret is shady imo, if he'd come home and told her it would've been fine
18:21 Maybe that's me being mean and petty, but I would start making similar jokes to her. "It's because you make bad jokes that I'm getting married before you, silly Izzy hahaha" and then when she gets mad, (because they always do when you give them a taste of what they do), I'd just call her sensitive.
I have a story to tell you!! Years ago, I started dating this one guy. I knew his sister because she worked at this one place in our small town. I was friends with her coworker. Turned out, she was on a secret relationship with her coworker. Well, not really secret (small town) but they kept their relationship on the down low because the guy was her supervisor and didn't want issues at work. I was going through a very hard time and would hang out with the friend because the boyfriend was too busy to be there for me. He was the kong of gaslighting and manipulation. A couple of years later, I was single and so was my friend. We started actually dating and are now married. The ex had a hard time with the realization I didn't want him anymore and the sister was delighted her ex and I ended up together. So half thier family doesn't like me (the ones who got my ex's side) and the other half don't care.
13:04 my mum always tells me and my sister never leave your girlfriends alone to chill with your husband no matter how much you trust your girlfriends. They’re YOUR friends and not your husbands. Must be some wisdom in her advice.
Yes, in story number one, I can see why the husband was embarrassed and didn’t want to talk about it. That is a natural physical reaction to closeness, though, and doesn’t really mean anything. It happens in ballroom dancing sometimes, mostly during tango. I was actually thrown away like I was on fire or something from one of my coaches during tango when he just literally had to stop when it happened. I am pretty much a huge prude, but it just made me laugh. It’s like passing gas, sometimes they just can’t help it.
The friend is still single. It's bad enough when dudes she dated get married or in LTR after her, and now it is her best friend. She is the problem and she knows it.
8:49 absolutely not. U guys had a moment? then keeping having them. They both wanted it. Maybe he didn’t as much as she did, but he was driving. So he wasn’t drunk. He was sober and she wasn’t and he STILL admitted to feeling a little something in that moment. So I’m good on that one.
The girls who dated Jake first is jealous that no one wants her enough to be in a serious relationship with her. Also she’s not going to let the joke go. Especially they started dating before she even knew that her “dates a bunch” friend had dated him
@draalttom844 not telling his wife it happened at all, and holding/hugging and lingering with the best friend after she clearly tried to get w him? That situation, sure little Phil isn't his fault, everything around it was.
17:54 don’t worry about ruining a lifelong friendship because she already did when she didn’t respect your boundaries to a “JOKE”! While it’s pretty obvious that it’s not!
Girls like Dana love to tempt guys. The guy said no, and I kind of understand that he felt tempted, but he did not do anything. He could feel attraction, there are a lot of good-looking girls out there... As long as he puts his relationship over any superficial lust, he is ok.
This may be an unpopular opinion, but that first story was a very good lesson on not putting yourself in a compromising situation... especially when you are married. Everybody has the capacity to make mistakes... especially without clear boundaries. Phil's reaction was a normal male function, but they were in a compromising situation in the first place. I'm glad he felt a concience about it, and I hope they worked past it. . I wanna hear others' thoughts on this?
I mean, yes I agree that putting yourself in a compromising situation is generally a bad thing, but escorting a drunk friend to their door to make sure she gets in safe shouldn't be a compromising situation. Let's not victim blame here. If Phil were Philippa, I think people would be more sympathetic. Edit to make it more blatant: I'm calling OP's friend an attempted predator. She tried to coerce him into relations he did not want. That's bad no matter who does it.
I agree. I think Phil’s initial response of, “If you’re sick, let’s miss the concert and see the band another time.” was the best idea. If your marriage is precious to you and you want to protect it, then do that. It wasn’t about walking a drunk friend to the door, it was about going to a concert with a woman who wasn’t your wife. If you stayed home with your sick wife in the first place, the entire uncomfortable/potentially damaging situation would not have existed. Just avoid the situation in the first place, then Little Phil won’t get involved in the equation. Hubs and I attended a Christmas party once-several couples and our assorted kids. Hubs came up to me about an hour in and said, “We need to go home.” “Why?” “X just made a pass at me.” I didn’t ask for specifics. Thirty years later, I have still never asked for details. She made a pass. We packed up our kids, went home, and never spoke to her again. We stayed friends with her now ex-husband and now grown children. A couple of years later, she had an affair with another married man (who shares my hub’s first name-creepy), he divorced his wife and married the woman who made the pass at my husband. So ladies-if your husband is protective of your marriage, support that!
Unpopular opinion: But this is why I don't have male friends. This isn't a brag, this fact genuinely disgusts me and has caused actual trauma, but I've never been "friends" with a man who hasn't wanted to or tried to get with me. I have two male friends, one is aroace and lives in another country and the other is a 70yr old with a thriving marriage, several children and plentiful grandchildren and great grandchildren. I've been in "compromising situations" with men when I thought it was just friendly and to them it was more or it was an attempt to have more. I have been in situations like Phil and because of that I will never allow myself to get that close to someone who may be attracted to me again.
@@transsnack Nope, if he were Phillippa, I'd still say that she's responsible for not telling her spouse. I was with him until he decided not to say anything to OP.
4:52 I don’t know where this is going but in MY gut, Phil just doesn’t like Dana after that night because of the way she acted. Dana knows it and is embarrassed.
THIS. A man's body can betray him with stimulus. I swear this is the only reason a former co- worker has children [he is dumber than a box of rocks, seriously].
Don’t blame the guy. Us women can hide the “twitch” down there, whereas men have no way of hiding their arousal. Stuff happens, and he fought his strongest innate instinct as a man to remain loyal. If that doesn’t prove his love and dedication, I don’t know what does.
I find that when a person is constantly feeling confused and having to ask if they are in the wrong, but their gut feels they are right, they’re being gaslit. That little feeling is usually the indicator.
I would say that it isn't so much that Izzy wanted Jake specifically, but that she's jealous that her friend is getting married and she's still single. So she wants everyone to know that she could have someone if she wanted to so that she doesn't feel like a loser. It's her insecurities taking a toll on her. She's jealous of OP's life and happiness, not of her being with Jake. I say this as someone who has been a bit of an Izzy from time to time; I think we all have it in us to feel that way.
Phil's reaction to the hug, is a normal one, especially coming from a young man. Due to consuming alcohol, he was actually very lucky to able to keep his head and not act on her advances. That is normally the time most ppl cheat. Some advice for all the Phil's out there: . Don't ever put yourself in that kind of situation and you'll never need to find out just how strong your willpower really is.
I wouldn't call it luck because from the story it sounds like Dina and her friend were drunk but he wasn't. I could be wrong but that's how I hear it. His reaction is normal especially considering Dina pretty much had her boobs out and I seriously respect him for just running and not thinking with the wrong head. I think Phil is a great guy who didn't know how to tell his wife about a weird situation with her friend and he blames himself for getting turned on. I do agree with you about not putting yourself in those situations though!
18:13 because she’s a joke bully. She’ll pick a joke that very obviously hurts somebody and she’ll keep repeating it to hurt that person. She’s doing it because she knows it’s hurtful, but she’s making it a joke so she can say ‘It’s a joke, It’s a joke’ and say you’re being sensitive when you tell them you don’t like it. She’s not ops friend and tbh she seems SUPER jealous
17:16 Izzy never wanted to commit to anyone in college or fear of missing out on the “full college experience” Now she probably regrets letting Jake and probably a couple other guys go to that could’ve been potential husbands but now there’s not as many gentlemen callers as there was in college and the prospects of getting married are getting lower and lower for her and her own opinion So she is a bit jealous than now she’s not getting married, even though she had lots of men throwing themselves at her and college
My BFF met and dated a guy very briefly. They realized the chemistry just wasn't right. A few months later, I met him, and we fell hard for each other. My BFF immediately gave her blessing. We give her credit for introducing us, and she loves that she brought us together. She was one of my bridesmaids, and he and I have been married for almost 30 years now. Her reaction was the polar opposite of Izzy.
14:53 This is so true, especially in a small town! I had been dating my (now ex) boyfriend for 8 years, he hooked up with my friend when she was 14 and our relationship didn’t start until I was 17. She said it was totally fine and we hung out regularly together. When I moved 8 hours away for college at 25 my boyfriend at the time came too. A few years later (when my boyfriend and I were at the 8 year mark) she was in town and told me we would meet up. I was so excited because I wanted to show her around town and my house where the 8, three week old kittens I was fostering were. She was so excited on the phone, we were making plans and she was supposed to meet me on campus after my class at noon and go from there. She completely ghosted me and when she finally got back to me that night at 11 PM she was halfway back home. We got in a huge fight and she brought up that she hooked up with my boyfriend first, in my rage I said finding someone she hasn’t slept with in a 50 mile radius is impossible. It was messy but it is also true 😅. She also never went on a date with him, she just did the deed once when she was 14 and he was 20… I know, huge red flag but I was stupid and young when I started dating him, then a whole lotta red flags kept smacking me around until we made it to the 11 year mark. He cheated on me again while we were engaged but the silver lining of my debilitating chronic illness was that I had my family to support me and I could finally see through the love bombing and gaslighting. They had always seen through it and let me know regularly which didn’t help when I was in it but was so helpful when I was out. At least I became a professional red flag spotter after that relationship 😂 Edits for grammar and more context.
Sorry to hear what you went through but also OMFG she was 14 and he was 20 and they did the deed. He should be in a jail. Also if your friend was just 14 and already sexually active, and also VERY sexually active I fear what was actually going on.
@@Lenka18s yes, but also it being a small town with nothing to do, many young people become sexually active at a very young age unfortunately. I had an ex who moved from a large tourist city to the middle of nowhere Nebraska. There wasn't even a movie theater or fast food restaurants. He hooked up with a girl who was 16 and had already been married and divorced and had a three year old. She said that there's nothing else to do there and it's normal. It's that or drag race drunk. Which is also horrifying. 😢
I love you Charlotte! Love seeing a recovering people pleaser and all around good person rise to the top. A lot of influencers give shallow mean girl vibes. It's obvious that you're a sweetheart and you destroy the influencer stereotype. You are awesome in spite of all the fart jokes.😂 From one recovering ppl pleaser to another.❤
One takeaway i get from this is ... they need to talk about communication and trust... she has a seed of distrust for her hubby... and he doesnt trust that he can tell her EVERYTHING and she wont fall apart. My partner would NEVER go through my phone... but i also tell her everything and she tells me everything. My partner is a hugger.... she hugs everybody if she knows them... male or female - im 100% fine with that because my trust in her is complete and she knows i would never cheat on her because... ... women are hard work and im too mentaly lazy to even try and deal with two let alone keep the lies straight ;-D
Second story is giving “ he told me he wasn’t looking for anything serious so you guys won’t be anything serious type vibes” he prob told the friend that he didn’t want anything long term cause he prob didn’t see anything in her to make him want to settle. Once he met the bride to be he prob felt like something he hasn’t felt and knew he wanted a relationship which then turn to engagement / spouse and the friend jealous that he didn’t want anything serious with HER
The last story had a 'I didn't want him, but I don't want you to have him either' vibe to it. Sometimes when it comes to relationships/friendships, better the devil you know is not always the best option. Take a deep breath, cut ties, and move on. Your life will be better for it in the long run.
I think Phil should never have been in that position in the first place. He didn't want to go to the concert without his wife, and she made him go without her. Props to him for running to the car! He did the best he could in his position.
First story. When your spouse tells you that they don’t want to go without you, listen to them. They may feel something is off and they don’t want to go there.
2:10 While I was taking night classes for graduate school, I would often get home after my wife and kids fell asleep in our bed, so I would sleep on the couch. Eventually, I noticed that I slept better on the couch than in our bed. I often wake up in the middle of the night and fall asleep on the couch.
I slept better on the couch at my ex-boyfriend's place than in his comfy bed. He even upgraded from an uncomfortable twin to a soft, fancy queen with adjustable base partly for my sake, but we are both heavy snorers and I need to sleep elevated while he found it very uncomfortable. We both had to wear earplugs to bed and were exhausted the next day. I fully support separate bedrooms for couples. If you want to fall asleep cuddling and then one of you wakes up and retreats to their space, or cuddle then retire to separate spaces, why should that be seen as a negative thing? Plus, you can make your space comfortable for you alone. Why try to force otherwise? It seems counterproductive and silly. That husband's situation was entirely different, but life doesn't have an instruction manual everyone has to follow. Do whatever works best for you and your family. If others do things differently, that's their choice. No reason to force different people into identical arrangements. Square peg, round hole, and all that.
the fact that he turned her down while pitching a tent should give that guy extra points.... he made the right decision with a diverted blood supply!!!!!!
Charlotte: "There are very few cute dudes out there." Me: "I'll have you know that BOTH of my grandmothers, AND my own mother, happen to think that I am VERY handsome."
That's why I always draw a line between me and my friends' husband/boyfriend. My father was a serial cheater, and it made me afraid to get too close or friendly with someone else's partner. All of my friends knew. I have a long time friend, we've been friends for almost 20 years. She knew about my trauma and my boundaries. When she just got married, she asked me if I wanted to hang out with her and her husband. I said no. I told her the reason and she accepted it. Fast forward, she asked again. This time, it was her husband who asked (through my friend) if he could join us. From what I gather, my friend talked about me to her husband, so he also knew about my trauma and my problems. Idk what is so hard to understand, like just because i'm friends with you doesn't mean I have to meet and be friends with your husband too. I already had a few cases back in high school where some of my friends' crushes liked me instead of them. Adding with my own trauma, I just wanted to be safe than sorry.
1st story: based on the fact that Phil has a habit of lying to OP to protect her feelings suggests that he also suppressed his own feelings. So even if he “doesn’t know why” he got ‘excited’ during the hug, I think deep down he probably does find Dana attractive. I think Phil needs to have a good honest conversation with himself and then OP to figure out what he wants in life (not just their relationship) and how to better communicate that with OP.
I had a similar situation when I was way younger. I was in Hungary to meet up with some relatives and in that time my best friend called that she and her boyfriend broke up. She was very upset but I had to stay a few more days so I couldn’t comfort her properly. She said she wanted to go out but I wasn’t there. I told my boyfriend ( which she also knew - we were all in a group of friends and hung out every now and then) and asked him if he could just meet up with her for a drink or something so she could have somebody to chat with. He said ok and they both went to a bar and chatted. When I came home from my trip my boyfriend waited for me at the railway station. We greeted each other and chatted about how our weekend was and he told me that she slept at his place after they went for a drink. That was a little shock for me, because he didn’t ask me if that was fine by me. He said nothing happened and it was too late already to ask me, but she demanded that he should bring her home that night and it was pretty late and she was living at the other side of the city so he said no and that he was too tired so they agreed she would sleep on his couch. Not a big deal because i am not much of a jealous person I also told him I have no problem if his best friend (also a girl) slept on his couch when she came to our city to stay a few days. I also know that him and my friend are not attracted to each other, but the fact that they didn’t bother to ask me that night made me angry. So when she and I met up the next day I confronted her but she just shrugged it off saying “what’s the big deal, it’s not like something happened” - not to mention that if that would have happened with me and her boyfriend that would have been a whole new level of drama…she also said that she was angry with my boyfriend for telling me at all because he was the one saying they shouldn’t mention it in front of me, but he told me the moment I got off the train so I didn’t know what to think of it. I was confused. But i was ready to just let it go. That was when things got more insane. It was a few weeks later when she got back with her ex. Before they got together again. She told him (and me) that my boyfriend actually made a move on her that night. Her ex was furious because he and my boyfriend also knew each other well back then and he wrote him angry texts and called him. When I asked her why she came up with this info just now (I had the suspicion that she just wanted to make her ex jealous somehow to get him back) and not until she had contact with her ex again she couldn’t give me a proper answer. She was just sticking to her story ever since. And that friendship of the two guys fell apart and also she and my boyfriend didn’t wanted to have any contact after that…so this was ruined. It doesn’t matter anymore today, it was eons ago, but this story kinda reminded me of that situation ^^
Honestly with the first story, the fact the recovered messages matched what Phil said they were should tell you all you need to know about who’s fault that was and who to believe
his fault. for getting hard for his wife’s bsf. good thing he’ll now be alone forever and she’s gonna go cheat on him cuz he did it first 🤣🤣
He said he had a moment with her best friend I couldn't trust no one after them words.
@@toxiczombiewolf5692the moment was a boner that’s not something a guy can really control but he left and didn’t do anything.
@@kimberlyyyyy44 He hid the situation, gaslit his wife, and straight up lied several times. He allowed her anxiety to fester. Rather than be open with her about what happened so that he can have the opportunity to help her through it, and rather than inform her about her "friend" so she can choose whether or not to end the friendship, he literally tried to deceive her. That deprived her of security. It made her *insecure*. He should've been there for her, but she had to push and push and push and go onto Reddit for help just to get him CAUGHT. He didn't admit to anything on his own.
And men who aren't trying for anything sus wouldn't hug a woman he isn't with if he's hard. He'd have to be pressed up against her for several pulses. I know men can feel it start to happen. He'd pull away at the first pulse if it wasn't intentional. And the first pulse she honestly probably wouldn't have noticed. He intentionally pressed himself against her.
I'm disgusted by the husband. I'd never do anything even a quarter as bad to a partner. If a guy did that to me, I'd absolutely leave. Even if I was married to him for 4 years. I'd permanently lose sexual attraction after something like that, and I wouldn't stay in a relationship with someone I'm not willing to have sex with. I'd rather be happy alone than spend extra time with someone who doesn't deserve it.
It's not something you can help. it's a bodily function he left as soon as he realised what was happening @toxiczombiewolf5692
12:50 my husband and I have a rule that whenever we feel some vibes from someone else we immediately tell the other. We've been married more than 25 years and it's happened to both of us. The key is immediate communication, and dropping any dubious friendships.
COMMUNICATION!!!
👍🏻
Perfect. Communication is key. ❤ May you have decades of a loving marriage. ❤
@@tilagicaLove the way you handled that. That sounds like such an uncomfortable and awkward situation but you did the right thing anyway. Celebrating you for this 🎉
Taking this advice into my next relationship! Thank you so much 💝
I hope you have 25 more happy years together!
Story 1 : Guys can get hard for no reason reason and it is always very embarrassing to them. Phil felt guilty because he thought his body betrayed his marriage by reacting but truly, it is not his fault. He could not control it and reacted the right way. Also, it is difficult to handle a drunk person, I would not be angry at him for the hug either. He tried to be polite and she took advantage of him like the predator she is.
He should have told his wife immediately, it would have saved a lot of grief on both part. She would not have doubted him and he would have get her support.
r u a fucking retard?? he can control it. my bf don’t get hard for my friends. she needs to have self respect that’s embarrassing. he don’t love her he loves the friend. ur penis don’t get hard for nothin.
Actually, him feeling sorry for even that means he has morals 😂
And also, in those kinds of situations it can be normal to have a reaction despite not wanting it. Things with like harassment etc, your body can react but it doesn’t mean you are mentally okay with such things
@@boogermaiden men are so hilarious. this is y yall get cheated on 😭😭😭 hope ur bitch has fun w that random this weekend
💯 %
Phil made me proud that he ran to his car. The entire situation obviously made him extremely uncomfortable, which is NOT how cheaters react. He should have told his wife immediately, but that is really the only thing I would fault him for. And as far as "becoming aroused" goes, men have no control over that. I think it was Denzel Washington who said, "Whenever I have a love scene with anyone, I apologize in advance if I become physically aroused, and I also apologize in advance if I don't." I think Phil is a good one. Hold on to him.
Exactly, lots of green flags. Only thing Phil should have done better was be honest straight away for OP could know what Dana was up to.
I also see him not telling his wife as him not wanting to ruin his wife’s friendship knowing that they’re best friends. Maybe he was trying to have empathy for Dana being drunk and letting it be a misunderstanding.
Mmmm no. He should have told her, he’s not innocent here. Something is not right with this whole situation. If her lies about something, he could lie about anything.
I agree 100%! The only thing he didn't do that I feel he should have was to tell his wife right away. Like you said, sometimes men can get aroused over nothing and aren't always in control of it. It doesn't automatically mean they are attracted to someone or want to be with them intimately. I'm glad they were able to retrieve those text messages so he could show his wife the whole exchange for their peace of mind.
This. Anyone, regardless of sex or gender, can experience arousal at any time cuz our bodies are just weird like that. In fact, close contact even with people you're not interested in can cause arousal in heightened situations, and coming down from a concert high is definitely one of those times. I suspect Dana considered this and made her move hoping Phil would just give in to the post-concert high arousal, and when he didn't, she felt embarrassed at the rejection and that's why she responded so harshly to being confronted. This is my theory. Phil definitely should have said something about it, and he knows he should have. Hopefully he learned that he needs to communicate when these things happen cuz it's not just him that Dana disrespected with her behavior.
Can confirm, when my ex was cheating with a friend they never avoided time together. Her mom actually called them out, and told me, one day while we were all together.
Love that for the mum, was willing to call out her daughter’s bad behavior
in fairness, in my case they cheated while I was away then avoided each other when I came back because they had a falling out over whether to tell me. They decided against it until 2 months later when my (ex)friend changed her mind. Had a feeling the whole time and they avoided each other at all times except when they felt it would look bad. It definitely varies. He's also my ex btw, thank goodness, but sad to say I dodnt end it then.
Props to her but I am so sorry this happened.
I wish my ex’s mom was like this. She knew and kept quiet cause “she didn’t see anything” and I was “a daughter she never had.” I’m just grateful I wanted to end things anyway but it doesn’t change the betrayal of the matter.
Yeah, my best friend and boyfriend never avoided each other when they were boinking.
Story 2 : Her friend doesn’t even want the guy, she just doesn’t want her friend to have him. There are people like this, children act like this, they want a toy someone else is more interested in.
I think it's two things from that friend. The fact she probably wanted the serious date Jake and him not wanting that. And that she might have a complex making her think that she was better than op and how dare she have someone she can't.
@@sarahemurphy1290There's the third option: he was the backup or the one that got away before she realized it.
But why would someone want to ruin something especially if they don’t want the guy. My friend did the same & I question is all the time
Izzy's def the pretty girl who's surprised/upset her "average" friend is getting married and settling down first. The whole "She let me have him" was definitely to make herself feel better.
THIS! 💯. Izzy is jealous and you're seeing what she thought of you
I agree. Izzy may be better looking and it's easier for her to date a lot. But her less pretty friend found love and settled down with one of her "rejects", she's salty and condescending...
Yep. When I got engaged first my “best friend” looked at my ring, rolled her eyes and said. “I knew that was going to happen”. It took me many years to realize she wasn’t a friend. Too bad we didn’t have Charlotte 20 years ago :)
I don't know if she's upset that she's settling first but the desire to feel superior. "I had him first, he's my leftovers, understand that he wasn't good enough for me, understand that she is settling for what I considered expendable, understand that he's my used goods so the both of them are less than."
Just happy she's not pulling a "I can take him back at any time I want but I won't because I'm nice. Just everyone needs to know your places under me."
@LadyBern oh, definitely!! I feel like that's a big part of it too.
Regarding Phil's "excitement" it genuinely is not his fault and could definitely mean nothing. There's a studied phenomenon called "nonconcordance" that shows that contrary to popular belief, these things are actually not related to arousal and wanting something nearly as much as we think. It simply is your brain categorizing a situation (like a half-naked woman hugging you) as "sex related" and making your body react to it. It does not mean you want it!! Also very important for victims of SA to know. And also unfortunately something that leads to people being assaulted because the person is essentially telling them "you got a boner/you're wet so you clearly want this" even though they don't. Just because there is a bodily reaction to a context that could be interpreted as sexual by their body doesn't mean the person wants it. One more thing where sex ed absolutely falls short in properly educating people that is causing actual harm to people.
So how was not telling his wife about the female snake not his fault? I'm going to relish listening to your bullshit excuses.
@@keplersdream901girliepop i think you have some deep rooted trauma
@@keplersdream901 Him not telling her WAS his only fault in that situation. Caroo isn't talking about that though and his body reacting to something he didn't want WASN'T his fault.
@@keplersdream901… so the comment mentions how it’s not someone’s fault for suffering SA, and you go “how dare they feel shame”?
Be better. Seriously. There are no words for your audacity.
@@keplersdream901 I didn't see where OP said that wasn't Phil's fault, they simply made a point about the "auto arousal." Tell me how you got OP was saying he wasn't at fault for not telling his wife? Don't worry, ill wait. 😏
Don’t blame Phil for what little Phil was thinking while a woman was throwing herself at him. Little Phil has a mind of his own and no morals. Phil did the right thing by removing little Phil from the situation.
Little Phil 🤣☠️.
But I do agree. Our bodies might react out of nature or instinct but it may mean absolutely nothing to us.
@@AngelJulietEven for women, the body’s response doesn’t mean much. Fear and arousal can also be processed the same in the body so it literally doesn’t mean you’re excited. Men and women raped sometimes experience pleasure, it doesn’t mean they actually enjoy it
@@Catherine.Dorian.this! Some victims have a hard time being taken seriously when they seek healing/justice because of how their body responded. Arousal and pleasure are NOT consent!
@@Catherine.Dorian.I'd replace pleasure with arousal
"Phil removing Little Phil from the situation" sounds like the tall more sober friend manhandling the small drunk friend away from a fight they tried starting 💀
11:14 noo.. No.. A physical reaction doesnt necessarly mean anything. Our bodies react, that doesnt mean our mind agrees. Its very important to understand. This is how SA survivors get stuck, they confuse their body reacting to stimuli to them WANTING something. Thats just not true. Often these two correlate but not always.
Thank you for stating this.
I think whats happening with izzy in the last story is that she realizes that she maybe thought that the guy wasnt really marriage material, and then seeing OP get together with him and get far along enough to get engaged, she got jealous and insecure, and regretful that she let him go too quickly
It also might be that she thought she meant more to him and now she realize that he is happy without her (maybe 😅I don't know, that's my theory)
I'm not sure it's about that specific guy per se, I'm feeling it's more a "how could YOU get engaged before me??" and she's using the fact she slept with the guy first as a weapon. She would have found other jokes to make even if she had never met the guy before.
I don't think she was thinking that far. She doesn't look like someone who's looking for a serious relationship per se. More like she's trying to choose the best guy out there. So all who don't meet her expectations get rejected.
But she's sure she could have anyone if she wanted. They're just not good enough for her, like Jake.
She's jealous that the TS got married first. But she needs to make sure everyone knows that it's because she's picky and hot. Because if she wasn't the TS would not have Jake.
So nasty.
@@akherousia TS?
Can we give props to Vanessa for her amazing editing additions? The pup Izzy-ing on the tree for example. Lol.
Pro tip: if it's "just a joke", then when somebody says "that's not funny" or "that made me uncomfortable", you stop making that joke with them. It's called "not being a jerk".
Yeah, you also apologize if you've unintentionally made someone feel uncomfortable... Well that girl is absolutely nasty. Good riddance I'd say.
💯
Fr
I always thought I was the unfunny friend because they would make jokes. I was uncomfortable with they would just say, "You're overreacting it's just a joke. You're too sensitive." This has healed something in me
Or you can not be a pantywaist idiot. It's an idea. Grow up.
Arousal is like laughing when you get tickled…you’re laughing even though you don’t want to and don’t like the tickle….
Good comparison!! I'll use it in the future 😊
Genius 🎉100% this
Fr? I feel so betrayed for Phil's wife..
Same@@millicentlopez3592
@@millicentlopez3592Yes. They become aroused based solely on touch or closeness, or doesn’t matter with whom. It’s like a hair trigger lol
16:33 Izzy is like a kid in a candy store licking all the candy so no one else will and gets mad if other kids eat a candy when she is full.
Honestly, I think Phil was chalking up Dana's behavior to alcohol and thought it was just a one time lapse in judgment and wanted to distant himself from her.
That's exactly what I heard
The only issue with that is when you are drunk you actually do/ say what you truly think/ feel that you wouldn’t necessarily do sober
But don't forget he had a moment with her bestie but poor man right he should be ashamed to say that to his wife and lie to her. All I'm saying I couldn't trust that person again and the best friend would be gone out my life.
@@toxiczombiewolf5692 what did he lie about? you feminist clearly on the side of OP best friends. I love how you admit you are just as toxic as the best friend
NO. As an alcoholic, this is so not true. You do things that you WOULD NEVER do sober, but that doesn't mean that you do things because it's true to your nature. I always take responsibility for my drunken actions, even if I won't do them sober. I've said things that I would never say while I'm sober. In fact, I was horrified...
the "i dated him first" one........."if you tell someone that what they are doing is hurting you, and they ignore it, LET THEM GO"......tyler perry
Cant blame phil for a natural physical reaction. Ppl have reactions like that even in nonconsensual interactions because its just normal physiology. A shirtless woman was trying to throw herself at him and his body reacted even if his mind didnt want it, and he did the appropriate thing and shut it down
yes u can blame him. he’s sick i hope she gets self respect and leaves that cheating pos .
@@alissagrubbs-b6x you know a man can get a bonner for any thing? You need therapy and get over the hate you have
@@LucaDGropius lmfaoo i live w my soon to be husband ik how a penis works i use one everyday. he’s never gotten one from being around my friends bc that’s not normal 💀💀. he agreed ur all dumbasses
@@alissagrubbs-b6x LoL talk that to man that suffered SA. Everything works even if you don't want to work. You don't know THE BASICS to claim that. Get some help because for F sakes.... People like you make's even worse
Exactly. B*ners happen, it's not always a sign of actual arousal or consent.
I've lost long term friends due to narcissism. It's not noticable at first. They slowly get more and more noticeably narcissistic over years, until their controlling nature and additude of "I'm always right" gets so bad that you just can't be around them anymore, for your own safety and well being. It's just a matter of time before people who sided with the ex-friend stop being friends with her, too.
This is so true… I think it’s not noticeable at first because they are putting on an act to make you believe you have a lot in common & whatnot , they don’t know how to be authentic & are sometimes gifted liars/manipulators. But the truth always shows up in the end …
Yep. Ended up betrayed, hurt, and dropped by that narcissistic friend when she found a "better" best friend in senior year of hs. She projected her narcissism onto me while having a raging inferiority complex. It was a lovely experience for my little people pleasing baby self.
I was love-bombed by a friend who shows signs of narcissism, and I believe everyone else in the friend group was too. Only thing is, I am one of the few who see them for who they are. While this friend is still in our lives, if they cross one more boundary, they are cut off. I believe people can change and grow up with time, which is why I have given this friend one more chance, but that's it.
@@Pink_Heart_Concha they do sometimes travel in packs it seems! Be careful & guard your heart… not everyone deserves a 2nd chance (but it seems you’re already listening to your intuition which is awesome) - not trying to come off as condescending, just wish I’d had access to some of this info when I was younger & learned the hard way myself. love to hear folks from younger generations talking about enforcing boundaries & whatnot ❤️ Stay safe out there!
@@ktwhimsy6946 Thank you for the encouragement! I have taken the steps to prioritize my peace, and I feel better now.
Anyone else frickin happy there’s an update!!
Yes! I cheered loudly😂
yes!! first time i reflexively said: oh, thank god!
A good come back to Izzy would be: "Can't handle the fact that he rejected you?"
🤌🏽
Thank you, Charlotte. Fiancé got me into these and now. Along with coffee. I do like me some TEA and Petty for Honey.
Yes, I'm having some tea with my tea❤
Yesss, your fiancé is a keeper! My fiancé watches with me sometimes as well and he’s always gasping at the tea 😮💨😂
Welcome to the potato family
11:38 “… if he had the chance” … really, girl! He HAS the chance! He’s grown & can make decisions, so he clearly doesn’t want that girl!
The second story. OP can "joke" back that yeah you date him first but i the one who got the ring 😊 give her you best and cute smile and be happy on her behalf
0:20 yes, yes I am 😂😂
We arecall thinking the same thing.
As soon as I heard that I said “oh there f*******”
Yep, they were sleeping together and broke up. 🤷🏼♀️ Diana and Phil are in TROUBLE!
Lmao saw the comment as I was thinking the same thing. 😂
@@ChiwaraFitnessme, too
That 1st story had me thinking of Charlotte’s voice: “With friends like these, who needs anemones?”
Edit to add: I typed this out as the 1st story was ending. 😂 I guess I know Charlotte by now, considering she actually said it at the end of the video.
“Friend “
If she’s your friend she thinks of your man like a brother. Period!
It really sucks when someone who you considered a 'best friend' betrays you. And girl friends can truly be absolutely RUTHLESS & BRUTAL towards one another. And that betrayal cuts deep...
Luckily I have one girl bff that has been my rock almost my entire life. Just about any & every memory of my childhood or any big significant event in life, this girl has been right there. And vice versa. We met the first day of kindergarten & everyday asked our moms if our "new best friend" could come over. Our moms quickly realized we were determined to be BFF's so it wasn't long before our parents became friends too. Her parents are my step parents and my parents are her step parents. My older brothers beat her up & teased her no different than they did to me. And she is an only child, but considers my brothers & myself as her siblings.
Our friendship truly is a once in a lifetime kinda friendship. Almost 35yrs, that's the majority of our entire lives.
Not everyone has a friend like that and I know I'm beyond lucky & blessed to have her. When we turned 16 we kept the 1 & the 6 candle so when we turn 61 we can use them again. Same w our 18th birthdays. If ever you come across your friend soulmate, hold on to them & cherish & nurture the friendship bc its not something you'll find everyday. Some people never have a friend like that.
Oh wow that sounds amazing 😊 especially your sibling being hers too 🫶🏼 love the candles also!
I got a best friend like that too
I'm so glad to hear that! I wish everyone could find such great friends. I'm especially lucky as I have 2! They both live far away now but we have a group chat to be able to talk to each other whenever we want 🙂 I haven't seen one in person for a few years now as she lives in Florida but my other friend is only a couple of hours away so I'm still able to see her in person more often but neither of these 2 would ever treat me badly or I to them. Been friends since school, bout 20-30 yrs now.
A soulmate is just that. They can be anyone to you. Your friend, Child, Sibling, Cousin or Lover. What a beautiful friendship and story✨ Thank you for sharing that. It's precious and I'm glad you appreciate it. The world needs to hear more like this. 💗
I would even say most people won’t ever have a friend like that (who won’t end up as their romantic partner)
In my opinion, the friend that jokes about dating Jake first is low key jealous her friend is getting married and she isn’t. It has nothing to do with Jake, it’s more to do with the fact her friend found someone while she’s still dating around single. Just my thoughts .
Bitter, table for one! 😂 Yes, you are spot on!
Unfortunately, Phil isn't able to control what little Phil does. Little Phil has no brain and just acts. I actually don't believe that Dana was drunk. I think she used that as an excuse to try to get Phil into her apartment.
Unfortunately, the oh gosh oh gee we can’t control the sponge between our legs excuse is so old it farts dust.
@terilouder8711 it's true though. Men wake up hard. No women needed.
@@terilouder8711 People with penises will get hard sometimes regardless of the circumstances and what they're thinking. Be careful thinking like that because that's what gets some male SA victims dismissed in a lot of cases :\
@@rosegoldhiips WTF? Go back and read this time.
@@terilouder8711why so angry? It’s true! Some men get hard when assaulted and that is seen as them being part of it and the assailant is let go 😢
Phil not only removed himself from the situation an took his wife not feeling well into account when he got home but didn't want to break up her friendship with Dana and kept himself away from her. He's a keeper for sure ❤
He was also willing to cancel the concert when she wasn't able to go, OP was insistent about it and invited the other friend. He should have told her straight away, but genuinely I don't think he knew how to navigate the situation.
The Phil drama is exactly why my husband never has him being alone with a woman. His reputation is protected and no problems occur. Dana is not a friend and should be dumped. Also, if Phil would have just told his wife what happened major damage could have been avoided. That being said, him fleeing the situation was on point.
Sounds like a Mike Pence worldview. 😂
Izzy reminds me of a friend I had in college, she asked if I wanted an outfit that she said did not look good on her but looked "ok" on me when I tried it on, I got a lot of compliments and she kept telling people it was hers that she threw out. She didn't want it back, just didn't want anyone to look better in it. Obviously not the same as a relationship, but it reminded me of how insecure people can be.
I switched videos so damn fast, Charlotte is always more important
samesies!!!
Same sis, same. 😂❤
Lol! Same!
Amen and Amen!😉
My best friend announced her engagement at her 31st birthday party. I was speechless and started to tear up, I refused to ball my eyes out 😅. I was so happy for her and I still am! Now I’m a bridesmaid and I just don’t wanna cry through the whole ceremony. 😊🎉
Bawl
to be fair to 'Phil'...men can get a chub over a warm breeze. A physical response is fine so long as he doesn't act on it.
Yeah, I learned sometimes your body sends blood down there for multiple reasons (one of which I believe is just to check if your little buddy isn't missing), so I don't really think "morning wood" is really tied to one's feelings
@@thatonewitchno, and this is SO not the first time people not knowing the biology v romance distinction has caused serious problems - poor Phil, that month must have been hell in his head!!
@@fionam7768
Wait did I get the last part wrong?
@@fionam7768 lmaoo poor Phil?! You mean the mean how lied and hid evidence of anything repeatedly and consistently from the wife he allegedly loves? That Phil?
Charlotte. Girl. May I just say. How much I absolutely ADORE it when you start gobble gobbling the way you do in your AITA intros🤣. All rise for the Honourable Queen Petty Potatoe. ❤️. Love you babes. Stay awesome. Big fan 🙏🏽🫶🏽.
Same! Love Charlotte’s humor 😂
Give Phil a break! Just because he had a # doesn't mean he wanted to cheat. Penile tumescence is physiological, autonomic response. That "moment" was just his body's response to stimuli. He clearly had no desire to pursue her. Give him an award. He didn't even want to go to the concert in the first place. He was afraid that he would be blamed, which is why he said nothing. He loves his wife and is a man of steel for fleeing from her.
True I am a Registered Massage Therapist, most of my male clientele get erections during the massage.
Absolutely!
Bro he said he had a moment with her bestie but couldn't describe it like no moment should be happening. The fact he didn't tell her right away that's not a good person. He should have been honest from the start.
@@toxiczombiewolf5692 I mean, nothing actually happened besides a hug. Telling your partner your got a boner cause her friend hugged you is stuff you keep to yourself.
@@RealJacior but that isn’t what happened is it? That’s a dishonest retelling of what happened. And if you or Phil can so causally lie to yourselves and significant other like that, you are 100% absolutely not to be trusted
Phil sounds sweet. You can't always control how your body physically reacts, it doesn't have to mean anything. It definitely explains why he felt weird about the 'moment' when nothing actually happened. Hope that lady finds some better friends.
He could've definitely helped hugging and having a moment with a girl who was obviously making moves, she got shirtless and he still thought he should go to her door and hug 😂 it sounds like maybe they had hung out a lot so he may have been very comfortable but still he has to be some kind of stupid to think she was being innocent. And then keeping it secret is shady imo, if he'd come home and told her it would've been fine
18:21 Maybe that's me being mean and petty, but I would start making similar jokes to her. "It's because you make bad jokes that I'm getting married before you, silly Izzy hahaha" and then when she gets mad, (because they always do when you give them a taste of what they do), I'd just call her sensitive.
I have a story to tell you!! Years ago, I started dating this one guy. I knew his sister because she worked at this one place in our small town. I was friends with her coworker. Turned out, she was on a secret relationship with her coworker. Well, not really secret (small town) but they kept their relationship on the down low because the guy was her supervisor and didn't want issues at work. I was going through a very hard time and would hang out with the friend because the boyfriend was too busy to be there for me. He was the kong of gaslighting and manipulation. A couple of years later, I was single and so was my friend. We started actually dating and are now married. The ex had a hard time with the realization I didn't want him anymore and the sister was delighted her ex and I ended up together. So half thier family doesn't like me (the ones who got my ex's side) and the other half don't care.
13:04 my mum always tells me and my sister never leave your girlfriends alone to chill with your husband no matter how much you trust your girlfriends. They’re YOUR friends and not your husbands. Must be some wisdom in her advice.
There are women who don't want the guy, but they don't want anyone else to have him.
Or she’s regretting letting him go now that her best friend values him
6:24 nah, sit the bestie down and just say “he told me everything. I want your side of the story.”
Yes, in story number one, I can see why the husband was embarrassed and didn’t want to talk about it. That is a natural physical reaction to closeness, though, and doesn’t really mean anything. It happens in ballroom dancing sometimes, mostly during tango. I was actually thrown away like I was on fire or something from one of my coaches during tango when he just literally had to stop when it happened. I am pretty much a huge prude, but it just made me laugh. It’s like passing gas, sometimes they just can’t help it.
The friend is still single. It's bad enough when dudes she dated get married or in LTR after her, and now it is her best friend. She is the problem and she knows it.
8:49 absolutely not. U guys had a moment? then keeping having them. They both wanted it. Maybe he didn’t as much as she did, but he was driving. So he wasn’t drunk. He was sober and she wasn’t and he STILL admitted to feeling a little something in that moment. So I’m good on that one.
0:50 ....and they were roommates...
Twinsss
Omg they were roommates ¬¬
(reference😅)
Oh my god they were roommates 😮
This comment appeared just as our queen potat said it omg 😂😭😂
Anything but lovers... Anything but lovwrs🎵🎼🎶
18:00 she’s joking at the OP’s expense, that’s not a real friend.
Casually dropping in a Steven Universe clip gives me life. The editing is delicious!
The girls who dated Jake first is jealous that no one wants her enough to be in a serious relationship with her. Also she’s not going to let the joke go. Especially they started dating before she even knew that her “dates a bunch” friend had dated him
The system that arouses men is automatic it cant be helped...but the situations in which we put ourselves can be!😂
The situation? Helping his girlfriend's friend?
You know, I might not have been the topless woman, it legit could've been the wind lol. Stop blaming men. This is predator logic
He did get himself out of there quickly to his credit. He shouldn't have hid it from his wife though.
@draalttom844 not telling his wife it happened at all, and holding/hugging and lingering with the best friend after she clearly tried to get w him? That situation, sure little Phil isn't his fault, everything around it was.
Who needs enemies when you have friends like this (THIS QUOTE APPLIES EVERY TIME)
Bring on the drama llama!!!
I WAS JUST ABOUT TO (OMMENT THISSSS
The drama llama has followed you home!
17:54 don’t worry about ruining a lifelong friendship because she already did when she didn’t respect your boundaries to a “JOKE”! While it’s pretty obvious that it’s not!
Good Morning Petty Potatoes! ❤
Oh we are all thinking it Charlotte 🍿🫖🍵
morning
Good morning pineapple
Good morning ❤
Good evening 🙏
Evening everyone 😊
Charlotte you’re so pretty! And I love your videos! So glad I found your channel years ago ❤❤
These videos never fail to shock me💀
real
Girls like Dana love to tempt guys. The guy said no, and I kind of understand that he felt tempted, but he did not do anything. He could feel attraction, there are a lot of good-looking girls out there... As long as he puts his relationship over any superficial lust, he is ok.
This may be an unpopular opinion, but that first story was a very good lesson on not putting yourself in a compromising situation... especially when you are married.
Everybody has the capacity to make mistakes... especially without clear boundaries. Phil's reaction was a normal male function, but they were in a compromising situation in the first place. I'm glad he felt a concience about it, and I hope they worked past it.
.
I wanna hear others' thoughts on this?
I mean, yes I agree that putting yourself in a compromising situation is generally a bad thing, but escorting a drunk friend to their door to make sure she gets in safe shouldn't be a compromising situation. Let's not victim blame here. If Phil were Philippa, I think people would be more sympathetic.
Edit to make it more blatant: I'm calling OP's friend an attempted predator. She tried to coerce him into relations he did not want. That's bad no matter who does it.
I agree. I think Phil’s initial response of, “If you’re sick, let’s miss the concert and see the band another time.” was the best idea. If your marriage is precious to you and you want to protect it, then do that. It wasn’t about walking a drunk friend to the door, it was about going to a concert with a woman who wasn’t your wife. If you stayed home with your sick wife in the first place, the entire uncomfortable/potentially damaging situation would not have existed. Just avoid the situation in the first place, then Little Phil won’t get involved in the equation. Hubs and I attended a Christmas party once-several couples and our assorted kids. Hubs came up to me about an hour in and said, “We need to go home.” “Why?” “X just made a pass at me.” I didn’t ask for specifics. Thirty years later, I have still never asked for details. She made a pass. We packed up our kids, went home, and never spoke to her again. We stayed friends with her now ex-husband and now grown children. A couple of years later, she had an affair with another married man (who shares my hub’s first name-creepy), he divorced his wife and married the woman who made the pass at my husband. So ladies-if your husband is protective of your marriage, support that!
Being a normal friend is a conpromising situation now?
Unpopular opinion: But this is why I don't have male friends. This isn't a brag, this fact genuinely disgusts me and has caused actual trauma, but I've never been "friends" with a man who hasn't wanted to or tried to get with me. I have two male friends, one is aroace and lives in another country and the other is a 70yr old with a thriving marriage, several children and plentiful grandchildren and great grandchildren. I've been in "compromising situations" with men when I thought it was just friendly and to them it was more or it was an attempt to have more. I have been in situations like Phil and because of that I will never allow myself to get that close to someone who may be attracted to me again.
@@transsnack Nope, if he were Phillippa, I'd still say that she's responsible for not telling her spouse. I was with him until he decided not to say anything to OP.
4:52 I don’t know where this is going but in MY gut, Phil just doesn’t like Dana after that night because of the way she acted. Dana knows it and is embarrassed.
THIS. A man's body can betray him with stimulus. I swear this is the only reason a former co- worker has children [he is dumber than a box of rocks, seriously].
Even a dead man can have an errectiom, rigor erectus or "angel lust." Got to just shake your head over the random pokesters.
😂 rigor erectus
This is interesting. I didn't know that.
Don’t blame the guy. Us women can hide the “twitch” down there, whereas men have no way of hiding their arousal. Stuff happens, and he fought his strongest innate instinct as a man to remain loyal. If that doesn’t prove his love and dedication, I don’t know what does.
Happy Saturday, everyone!!!! Good afternoon, Charlotte!!!!
9:36 agreed agreed
CONGRATS ON GETTING ENGAGED, CHARLOTTE
Did anyone else hear “with friends like these, who needs anemones”? 19:58
Yep😂😂😂
A big petty hug from Iran 🇮🇷 🤗
I find that when a person is constantly feeling confused and having to ask if they are in the wrong, but their gut feels they are right, they’re being gaslit. That little feeling is usually the indicator.
Petty Potato fam 👋🏻 the gobble kind of sound made me super giggle
I would say that it isn't so much that Izzy wanted Jake specifically, but that she's jealous that her friend is getting married and she's still single. So she wants everyone to know that she could have someone if she wanted to so that she doesn't feel like a loser. It's her insecurities taking a toll on her. She's jealous of OP's life and happiness, not of her being with Jake. I say this as someone who has been a bit of an Izzy from time to time; I think we all have it in us to feel that way.
More aita and I’m here for it
real
Phil's reaction to the hug, is a normal one, especially coming from a young man. Due to consuming alcohol, he was actually very lucky to able to keep his head and not act on her advances. That is normally the time most ppl cheat. Some advice for all the Phil's out there: . Don't ever put yourself in that kind of situation and you'll never need to find out just how strong your willpower really is.
I wouldn't call it luck because from the story it sounds like Dina and her friend were drunk but he wasn't. I could be wrong but that's how I hear it. His reaction is normal especially considering Dina pretty much had her boobs out and I seriously respect him for just running and not thinking with the wrong head. I think Phil is a great guy who didn't know how to tell his wife about a weird situation with her friend and he blames himself for getting turned on.
I do agree with you about not putting yourself in those situations though!
For the second story, Izzy never expecting Jake to want her friend. She's clearly jealous.
Getting drunk is NOT an excuse to cheat. There are zero excuses for cheating
18:13 because she’s a joke bully. She’ll pick a joke that very obviously hurts somebody and she’ll keep repeating it to hurt that person. She’s doing it because she knows it’s hurtful, but she’s making it a joke so she can say ‘It’s a joke, It’s a joke’ and say you’re being sensitive when you tell them you don’t like it. She’s not ops friend and tbh she seems SUPER jealous
17:16
Izzy never wanted to commit to anyone in college or fear of missing out on the “full college experience”
Now she probably regrets letting Jake and probably a couple other guys go to that could’ve been potential husbands but now there’s not as many gentlemen callers as there was in college and the prospects of getting married are getting lower and lower for her and her own opinion
So she is a bit jealous than now she’s not getting married, even though she had lots of men throwing themselves at her and college
My BFF met and dated a guy very briefly. They realized the chemistry just wasn't right. A few months later, I met him, and we fell hard for each other. My BFF immediately gave her blessing. We give her credit for introducing us, and she loves that she brought us together. She was one of my bridesmaids, and he and I have been married for almost 30 years now. Her reaction was the polar opposite of Izzy.
14:53 This is so true, especially in a small town! I had been dating my (now ex) boyfriend for 8 years, he hooked up with my friend when she was 14 and our relationship didn’t start until I was 17. She said it was totally fine and we hung out regularly together. When I moved 8 hours away for college at 25 my boyfriend at the time came too. A few years later (when my boyfriend and I were at the 8 year mark) she was in town and told me we would meet up. I was so excited because I wanted to show her around town and my house where the 8, three week old kittens I was fostering were. She was so excited on the phone, we were making plans and she was supposed to meet me on campus after my class at noon and go from there. She completely ghosted me and when she finally got back to me that night at 11 PM she was halfway back home. We got in a huge fight and she brought up that she hooked up with my boyfriend first, in my rage I said finding someone she hasn’t slept with in a 50 mile radius is impossible. It was messy but it is also true 😅.
She also never went on a date with him, she just did the deed once when she was 14 and he was 20… I know, huge red flag but I was stupid and young when I started dating him, then a whole lotta red flags kept smacking me around until we made it to the 11 year mark. He cheated on me again while we were engaged but the silver lining of my debilitating chronic illness was that I had my family to support me and I could finally see through the love bombing and gaslighting. They had always seen through it and let me know regularly which didn’t help when I was in it but was so helpful when I was out. At least I became a professional red flag spotter after that relationship 😂
Edits for grammar and more context.
Sorry to hear what you went through but also OMFG she was 14 and he was 20 and they did the deed. He should be in a jail. Also if your friend was just 14 and already sexually active, and also VERY sexually active I fear what was actually going on.
@@Lenka18s yes, but also it being a small town with nothing to do, many young people become sexually active at a very young age unfortunately. I had an ex who moved from a large tourist city to the middle of nowhere Nebraska. There wasn't even a movie theater or fast food restaurants. He hooked up with a girl who was 16 and had already been married and divorced and had a three year old. She said that there's nothing else to do there and it's normal. It's that or drag race drunk. Which is also horrifying. 😢
I love you Charlotte! Love seeing a recovering people pleaser and all around good person rise to the top. A lot of influencers give shallow mean girl vibes. It's obvious that you're a sweetheart and you destroy the influencer stereotype. You are awesome in spite of all the fart jokes.😂 From one recovering ppl pleaser to another.❤
When Charlotte said, "you lost a maid of honour" during the last story, my boyfriend shouted from the kitchen, "what honour?!"
One takeaway i get from this is ... they need to talk about communication and trust... she has a seed of distrust for her hubby... and he doesnt trust that he can tell her EVERYTHING and she wont fall apart.
My partner would NEVER go through my phone... but i also tell her everything and she tells me everything.
My partner is a hugger.... she hugs everybody if she knows them... male or female - im 100% fine with that because my trust in her is complete and she knows i would never cheat on her because...
... women are hard work and im too mentaly lazy to even try and deal with two let alone keep the lies straight ;-D
Phil is a keeper! He needs to tell the truth in the beginning and trust that if he doesn't have anything to hide he doesn't need to lie.
Saturday morning tea is the best tea even tho I'm drinking faygo cola. ❤
Saturday evening tea is the best! 🤣 I adore the fact that Charlotte connect people around the world 🤣
If your SO tells you they "had a moment" they "couldn't control" and refuses to elaborate: THEY CHEATED ON YOU 100%!!!
Second story is giving “ he told me he wasn’t looking for anything serious so you guys won’t be anything serious type vibes” he prob told the friend that he didn’t want anything long term cause he prob didn’t see anything in her to make him want to settle. Once he met the bride to be he prob felt like something he hasn’t felt and knew he wanted a relationship which then turn to engagement / spouse and the friend jealous that he didn’t want anything serious with HER
The last story had a 'I didn't want him, but I don't want you to have him either' vibe to it. Sometimes when it comes to relationships/friendships, better the devil you know is not always the best option. Take a deep breath, cut ties, and move on. Your life will be better for it in the long run.
These videos always make me even more grateful for my healthy relationship and amazing husband 😂💗
I think Phil should never have been in that position in the first place. He didn't want to go to the concert without his wife, and she made him go without her. Props to him for running to the car! He did the best he could in his position.
First story - He was tempted by Dana the Harlot but he made the right choice in the moment of temptation. Keep him.
"the harlot"💀🤣
First story. When your spouse tells you that they don’t want to go without you, listen to them. They may feel something is off and they don’t want to go there.
First story: thx for update! Glad nothing happened
16:26 End the friendship now… stop letting her gaslight that “it’s just joking”
2:10 While I was taking night classes for graduate school, I would often get home after my wife and kids fell asleep in our bed, so I would sleep on the couch. Eventually, I noticed that I slept better on the couch than in our bed. I often wake up in the middle of the night and fall asleep on the couch.
I slept better on the couch at my ex-boyfriend's place than in his comfy bed. He even upgraded from an uncomfortable twin to a soft, fancy queen with adjustable base partly for my sake, but we are both heavy snorers and I need to sleep elevated while he found it very uncomfortable. We both had to wear earplugs to bed and were exhausted the next day.
I fully support separate bedrooms for couples. If you want to fall asleep cuddling and then one of you wakes up and retreats to their space, or cuddle then retire to separate spaces, why should that be seen as a negative thing? Plus, you can make your space comfortable for you alone. Why try to force otherwise? It seems counterproductive and silly.
That husband's situation was entirely different, but life doesn't have an instruction manual everyone has to follow. Do whatever works best for you and your family. If others do things differently, that's their choice. No reason to force different people into identical arrangements. Square peg, round hole, and all that.
the fact that he turned her down while pitching a tent should give that guy extra points.... he made the right decision with a diverted blood supply!!!!!!
@@Jon7763 , 🤣
Charlotte: "There are very few cute dudes out there."
Me: "I'll have you know that BOTH of my grandmothers, AND my own mother, happen to think that I am VERY handsome."
That's why I always draw a line between me and my friends' husband/boyfriend. My father was a serial cheater, and it made me afraid to get too close or friendly with someone else's partner. All of my friends knew. I have a long time friend, we've been friends for almost 20 years. She knew about my trauma and my boundaries. When she just got married, she asked me if I wanted to hang out with her and her husband. I said no. I told her the reason and she accepted it. Fast forward, she asked again. This time, it was her husband who asked (through my friend) if he could join us. From what I gather, my friend talked about me to her husband, so he also knew about my trauma and my problems. Idk what is so hard to understand, like just because i'm friends with you doesn't mean I have to meet and be friends with your husband too. I already had a few cases back in high school where some of my friends' crushes liked me instead of them. Adding with my own trauma, I just wanted to be safe than sorry.
I feel like if he actually did anything with her, he would have definitely changed his clothes
1st story: based on the fact that Phil has a habit of lying to OP to protect her feelings suggests that he also suppressed his own feelings. So even if he “doesn’t know why” he got ‘excited’ during the hug, I think deep down he probably does find Dana attractive.
I think Phil needs to have a good honest conversation with himself and then OP to figure out what he wants in life (not just their relationship) and how to better communicate that with OP.
The friend is the main issue obviously but the fact that he tried so hard to hide everything and just forget about it isn't okay
I had a similar situation when I was way younger. I was in Hungary to meet up with some relatives and in that time my best friend called that she and her boyfriend broke up. She was very upset but I had to stay a few more days so I couldn’t comfort her properly. She said she wanted to go out but I wasn’t there. I told my boyfriend ( which she also knew - we were all in a group of friends and hung out every now and then) and asked him if he could just meet up with her for a drink or something so she could have somebody to chat with. He said ok and they both went to a bar and chatted. When I came home from my trip my boyfriend waited for me at the railway station. We greeted each other and chatted about how our weekend was and he told me that she slept at his place after they went for a drink. That was a little shock for me, because he didn’t ask me if that was fine by me. He said nothing happened and it was too late already to ask me, but she demanded that he should bring her home that night and it was pretty late and she was living at the other side of the city so he said no and that he was too tired so they agreed she would sleep on his couch. Not a big deal because i am not much of a jealous person I also told him I have no problem if his best friend (also a girl) slept on his couch when she came to our city to stay a few days. I also know that him and my friend are not attracted to each other, but the fact that they didn’t bother to ask me that night made me angry. So when she and I met up the next day I confronted her but she just shrugged it off saying “what’s the big deal, it’s not like something happened” - not to mention that if that would have happened with me and her boyfriend that would have been a whole new level of drama…she also said that she was angry with my boyfriend for telling me at all because he was the one saying they shouldn’t mention it in front of me, but he told me the moment I got off the train so I didn’t know what to think of it. I was confused. But i was ready to just let it go. That was when things got more insane. It was a few weeks later when she got back with her ex. Before they got together again. She told him (and me) that my boyfriend actually made a move on her that night. Her ex was furious because he and my boyfriend also knew each other well back then and he wrote him angry texts and called him. When I asked her why she came up with this info just now (I had the suspicion that she just wanted to make her ex jealous somehow to get him back) and not until she had contact with her ex again she couldn’t give me a proper answer. She was just sticking to her story ever since. And that friendship of the two guys fell apart and also she and my boyfriend didn’t wanted to have any contact after that…so this was ruined. It doesn’t matter anymore today, it was eons ago, but this story kinda reminded me of that situation ^^