Relationship Matters | Dr. Gordon Neufeld | TEDxWestVancouverED
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- Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
- How connected are our students? How important is connection? Dr. Neufeld argues that without healthy relationships, learning will not happen.
Gordon Neufeld is a Vancouver-based developmental psychologist with over 45 years of experience with children and youth and those responsible for them. A foremost authority on child development, Dr. Neufeld is an international speaker, a bestselling author (Hold On To Your Kids) and a leading interpreter of the developmental paradigm. Dr. Neufeld has a widespread reputation for making sense of complex problems and for opening doors for change.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
“Children dont care what you know until they know that you care”
I encourage all parents, educators, child development proponents to post this on their Facebook pages, websites, etc. Dr. Neufeld's message is critical for us all to hear!
I just posted three ... or four ?... of his talks on my Facebook page. And shared one of them in several groups relating either directly to parenting or to recovering from attachment trauma.
It doesn’t get any better than this! I absolutely LOVE his way of delivering these most important aspects of raising children!
Hello 👋 how are you doing today
@@dragonlady2264how are you doing,can I be a friend
This is everything grandma taught but she was too old school to be heard. If we only listened to those who have come before us we would be wise. Thank you for speaking the truth.
I love his manner of speaking so much. It's soothing and filled with wisdom in his words.
I’ve had a HUGE paradigm shift listening to this man’s talks. Also Gabor Mate’s lectures have been informative. If you listen to the creator of Special Books By Special kids channel- the way he got through to the kids in his class was through their hearts.
I have been listening to Gabor Maté for years, and didn’t think there was a better way to deliver these messages. I still love and recommend Gabor Maté AND I also feel today that I prefer Neufeld’s approach even more so, having only discovered him yesterday!
Gabor Mat'e. Wow. , also Patrick Teahan is awesome. Jordan Peterson has lectures about people of all ages especially young adults.
Yes! Attachment parenting continued into the school years for us as homeschoolers. Not easy, but always worth it! Wonderful message from a wise man.
Road Less Traveled My daughter is going into the 8th grade next year but I’m going to homeschool her-and I’m ready for the challenge. I’ve had to re-teach her what she’s supposed to be learning when she’s in school anyway, and that takes at least 2 hours a night. But she understands it when I help her so that gives me confidence. I have her heart, so it makes sense. And I’m not blaming her teachers at all, but she says all they do is yell so that means she’s not bonding with them and I don’t want her being “another brick in the wall.” God bless all homeschooling parents💕💕
Hi 👋
@@ashdukesbear9700God bless you! I hope it went well.
A rich deep illumination of the importance of a child's relationship to the adults in their lives for maturing, exploring and learning.
Dr. Neufeld is a wise man. His talk was full of wonderful examples.
Hi 👋
Love his simple message. A message we need now more than ever.
Thank you so much for sharing how we can better relate with our children not in the details as you said but in the big picture.
brilliant and wise, composed specialist, speaker, teacher, father, man. Something to reflect upon and when ready dive deeper - as this is the only way we are to survive as a species, be on the side of evolution, and on the side of our hearts/spirits and human-beings.
Thank-you, Dr. Neufeld, for this ever so brief summary of the dynamic you so wonderfully describe in all your courses. One factor that should be acknowledged, at least here in BC, is the government's legislation some years back which illegally stripped class size and composition language from our contract. Developing and nurturing relationships with the "modern" screen and peer oriented adolescent is not an easy task at the best of times, but when you have upwards of 30 all together in a classroom the tasks becomes all but impossible.
There's hope for the future :)
Just picked up the book he wrote with Gabor Mate, "Hold On To Your Kids".
Love really might be all we need after all.
Just like to listen to you ..lot of wisdom
Very nice! Makes a lot of sense!
Children who learn at school can also succeed if the teachers have a good relationship to them. Many parents don't have positive, deep relationships to their children. In this case, kindergartens and schools could really be an answer, even more when teachers have a meaningful attachment to the students. Researches in Germany show that children who have been to the Kindergarten have better performance at school, specially those who comes from less "fortunate" families.
well this moved me to tears 🥲😭💙
love this so true
Powerful!
Maybe distance learning with covid is a good thing? At home attachments may be strangthened. Unless the attatchments are neglectful and abusive then that's a massive problem. It's not like sending the kids to school ever helped to solve that though.
It's such a shame that this stuff isn't common knowledge. It's so self evident but noone wants to see it :(
this make so much sense, I did much better in the subject I like the teachers
It's like Bob Ross voice in HD
Gostaria que tivesse legenda! 🥺😟
Alguém poderia colocar a tradução deste vídeo, por favor?
What happened with the grandson after all?
I'm curious if they will ever use personality tests to try to match students with teachers that might improve/enhance their learning experience, based on what you eluded to around 17:00.
Not to my knowledge, but I believe it could be an interesting experiment if nothing else.
The education system is too underfunded to supply enough teachers for this.
Did you even listen?.why try to match someone based on shallow and superficial as "personality traits", when you can actually just be a.n authentic person, who is attuned and present. Personality is just learned behaviors. There is a real person behind the mask of personality..if we get in touch with our humanity and become present, then "personality" doesn't matter.
I consider myself a spiritual person, so naturally when I hear the word ‘attachment’, negative connotations come to mind.
I’d like to know if Dr Neufeld is inferring to ‘attachment’ as more of form of connection between one another, or the more spiritual definition, of becoming attached in a way in which your self-worth is tied up to to someone or something?
Hopefully this question makes sense to whoever is reading. I’d love to hear your thoughts 💭
He goes into great detail about what attachment means, how it works and what it's good for in the parenting lecture "Kids need us more than friends", which can be found on the channel tvoparents here on youtube.
His lecture "What makes a bully" on the same channel, and four part series on attention disorders (probably on the same channel, but I'm unsure), gives examples on what can happen when attachment needs are not met.
there is a story about the founder of the attachment theory, John Bowlby. He once wrote an article about attachment and gave it to his wife to read. After reading it, she said something like, but John, what you are talking about here is actually love, to which he replied, yes, but I can't write a scientific article about love. May be that would in part answer your question.
@@kseniiaholovko9954 I LOVE that story! Thank you 🙏🏼 for sharing!
Healthy attachments are the meaning of life. I am assuming that your outlook towards attachment are based in the Buddhist doctrine and it's views towards attachment. Many people believe that Buddhism says we suffer because of attachment, but this is not accurate. Unhealthy attachments are what cause us suffering. However, healthy attachments are the epitope of life and are completely necessary to cultivate a sound mind, body, and spirit
dude,honestly...if you need the word attachment to be explained to you,you really have issues
..
People who dont know about attachment dont understand.
I can only agree that a relationship with empathy, connection and mutual admiration boosts learning but a bad relationship also achieves results (although poorer). Also, you have a relationship with almost everyone you deal in a daily basis, your friends or our relatives. Therefor, you always have a relationship with your teacher but it can be a very poor one, which I think it's the point here.
What happens if your alone for too long?
Hi 👋
@@thmstcy1792 hello
er det okay, at ønske disconnection ?
Schools are more concern for grades, testing . Not looking for the benefit of the student, spiritual, mentally....telling parents their kid has adhd.
Just common sense things and much of what he says is so impractical. A poor speaker.
“We were never meant to take care of children who’s hearts we do not have” interesting that the Bible stresses relationship to Christ over nearly everything else.