Here Are 5 Ways to Vet Her for BPD
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Ex wife was a clinically diagnosed sociopathic BPD (plus also being bipolar and having OCD). Married for a nightmarish 7 years - I toughed it out to protect our 2 kids. Ended up with her assaulting me and trying to stab me because I refused to bow down to her commands.
These people can’t be fixed and are very dangerous because they are very fragile and will do anything to avoid being exposed for what they really are.
The kids now live with me and know exactly what their mother is like. Her pathology dies with her and doesn’t get passed onto the kids. These days I’m dating a woman 15 years younger and we’ve just had our first child. The kids adore their brother whilst the ex wife seethes with jealousy and bitterness.
Same story for me bro . Cheers my brother Glad to see your life is sweet now ☺️
The sad part is a lot men do not know how to react. BPD and npd women can and will drive a man crazy and will do something he would regret in retaliation.
Well done mate for escaping and protecting your children and yourself.
Married and similar story. Absolutely NOTHING worse than BPD. They will not stop EVER and leave you alone even after the divorce.
Run for your life.
Glad you survived that experience bro! 💪🏽 Cudos for sharing you story and making others aware.
I had a BPD gf. A total succubus is what I would call it. Lures you in and if you're an unhealed naive person, you're cooked. The total nightmare of trauma bond is difficult to break but I did it. It was long ago but I remember how devoted I was to being her mental illness advicate and all it did was fit me into her frame. Validating every single bs that someone would normally walk away from. And yes, worst thing ever is what they can pull to mess with you. They never stop trying to fuck with your emotions, making you jealous, try to make your friends go against you, relentless cheating, anger, it's so bad even the PTSD from the relationship rivals to those for people at war(I don't remember exactly but it was said), you never see a woman the same again. Things never add up and she will not help you clear things up because she is forever in survival mode and always tell you half truths to avoid feeling bad about herself. Imagine Women, all the stupid things you see + the disaster they can bring. They are capable of attacking you at a moment's notice and truly a menace to society, all depending on her emotions. I'm considering getting pepper spray and I still live in fear she could come back again and mess with me.
Please use protection, din't believe they are using borth control pills, don't get married or share house, don't get charmed (stay unplugged like normal), don't let her keep the condom, she can empregnate herself to get attention from you😭. BEWARE THE BPD CHICK. RECORD EVERYTHING AND KEEP RECORDS OF THE CRAZYNESS
It's pretty easy to get out of it. If you have any boundaries, are known as an "asshole" type, then it will end quickly. Still kinda hurt my feelings for such a short affair but conversations like "You're used to dating weak guys" takes the fun out of it for them I guess.
@@gezenews The crazy thing I see is they stay with the obviously narcissistic individuals, even go and give sloppy to that ex from the past even if they we're "abusive". Mine had 5+ ex contacts still messaging her sorry (simps/ validation feeding) + a sneaky link up fwb on the side while official with me. They we're all horrible supposidely. They genuenly want the asshole cheaters, even if they don't admit it. I get it cause I'm only interested in broken girls for some reason, but I tend to keep my distance. But difference is, BPD don't handle their impulses well and the need for chaos. They do the shit to themselves to feel the same relationship they had with their abusers.
@@gezenews I say it's not easy if you're unhealed naive, but I get what you mean😉 Yeah man, it still sucks
@@alansantos6142 No I agree with you. My point was that I would have also considered myself in that time unhealed and naive, so I still got got. But my point is I think reasonable rock-solid boundaries protect you from this stuff to some extent. And my "boundaries" per se was just that I'm an unapologetic rude person sometimes and I don't think that kind of person can take it.
Early detection is key.
The first red flag indicating BPD/daddy issues…etc, break contact immediately!
As if your life depended upon it.
BPD is not treatable with medication. The only thing that works is an acceptance on their part that they have a personality disorder and a willingness to engage in a specialized form of therapy. It's pretty rare to see improvement with these people.
DBT makes them feel better, but behavior becomes often more arrogant, selfish and narcissistic.
BPD is not just a personality disorder. It also comes with a psychotic disorder and their brains are physically missing parts especially the part responsible for regulating emotions is half the size compared to non-BPD people.
@@mattc3510 Unfortunately, they are all too aware, that is precisely what fuels their cruelty and pathological denial.
Go on a youtube video that BPD women watch for support. Suggest in the comments that perhaps they shouldn't date anyone until they get the help they need to stop hurting others. They will totally attack you. They can't stand the idea of being alone and think that someone that loves them should be willing to suffer for them. A big thing with them is that they can't feel normal and healthy guilt and even shame (which is a healthy emotion when appropriate and allows you to correct your behavior, apologize, and then remember the lesson for later). They go from denial and avoiding accountability straight to toxic, suicidal shame about who they are as a person. Because they can't stand the intense shame, they tend to live in a weird denial state their whole lives.
Exactly. It’s not a psychiatric disorder like let’s say, schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, which inherently means pharmacology can improve outcomes. Instead, it’s a personality disorder, which is just sugar coating a way to say their personality sucks and then we lump it in with other people that share similar traits of this crappy personality. Extensive therapy is to rewrite that persons entire personality, coping mechanisms, and social constructs and it’s seldom successful
Women with colored hair. Green, red, purple or any crazy color is a strong red flag for BPD
BPD IS SCARY AS HELL! Run!
Usually blue hair, your first warning.
I'm a guy with this disorder and I've learned it is the most treatable within the cluster B category of personality disorders. My mood swings are extreme and fluctuate within minutes. I have been in a rage for hours in the past. There is hope for people with this disorder.
@@InstrumentvanVrede
For those who want it and have the mental capacity to do the work. Women are a different. I believe men are built mentally stronger.
@@InstrumentvanVredeBPD is the worst cluster B to correct. Men are more anti social of the cluster B and that's easier to fix because it's just a self esteem issue. BPD is faking because you don't really have a sense of self. Your happiness and self work comes from outside sources or people.
@@John_Smith100 that's a liberal
I ended a relationship with a BPD woman a couple years ago. If I'd had Rich's succinct list of red flags before then, it would've ended sooner. As it was, it took me about 6 months to connect the dots. Also, as an add-on to Rich's red flag about violent behavior, watch how women talk. If they talk while using their hands with their fingertips all scrunched together (you see this a lot on YT vids), or slap one hand into another, that's a sign of latent rage. It would be like a dude talking with his fists clenched.
Also look at the eyes, the sanpaku eyes thing is real.
The Karate chop of hand into palm of other hand for emphasis, clapping their hands as they pronounce words angrily, pinching their fingertips together like claws as they get more and more wound up. Avoid these women at all costs.
Yes, I've been that dude. We are full of rage that the world is not ready to contend with. It is up to us to work at controlling that rage. My rage comes from the way people and family mistreated me as I developed.
BPD women are not necessarily a freak in the sheets. The one I dated actually behaved like a frightened child when the opportunity of sex came up.
that sounds hot.....lol stay away from crazy women. she was probably sexually abused as a child. RED FLAG
Depends on if they are manic or not among other things. It's rough man. Even if you really love her, it will take its toll on you.
Same here, emotional dysregulation was always there, when I thought it's getting better she was cheating and getting her toxicity regulated from a different guy. Good riddance.
rape victim or similar ?
@@MrTimjm009not rarely, but not necessary
Monkey branched on by Quiet BPD after 10 years. I left her alone and never bothered again. And then online smear campaign started of how 'abusive', 'narcissist' I am and so on that lasts for 1 year already. Why to do that if no one even contacting you?
Too many sick people in our society.
I have known many people with this condition. Now that I know the spectrum of behaviors I keep those people beyond arm's length. Or, avoid them as much as possible when I can. Great video. Cheers.
Look at the mother before you look at the daughter
Look at the father before you look at the son
And if there are none, RUN!🤣
Just here to learn what BPD means 😃
Borderline personality disorder
I believe it means borderline personality disorder.
Bi-polar disorder
@@sqlb3rntimes 10.
It means run like hell and don't look back.
Sharing this with my daughters for reinforcement.
Little head makes the decisions at the start 😂
I was married to a BPD woman and was completely unaware or this disease and red flags back then. It is one sure way to ensure you never have peace of mind. I got divorced a few years ago but because we have a kid, there is always some drama around the corner and they will use family law against you. I have accepted that I'm stuck until my kid is older. Guys, don't don't do it. Women, divorce, kids etc will kill wealth and you'll always struggle!
Essentially identical to my story. Advice is 💯
How long you were married?
@neodistinct Over 10 years. I tried leaving at the beginning but was always threatened with her committing suicide. Just a lot of bad advice and lack of information 😕
Cluster B personality disorder. Borderline personality. BPD.
Run away!
You can’t fix it.
Prince Harry should be watching these videos.
She's just a narcissist who wanted a fairytale wedding
@@John_Smith100imagine the power you have over a fnin’ prince too, can threaten a whole slander campaign thru the tabloids to keep him in line.
It’s not a prince it’s a lucky boy from a parasitic family who is dumb as a block
The wife: I'm very happily married
The husband: Huh? Who to?
Mrs. Baklund is a beautiful lady, smart and centered. Good interview.
Look for a chaotic family background, that’s the main sign right out of the gate.
Chaos is their normal, they will absolutely make your life a living hell, eventually.
The scary part is, in the beginning, they’ll seem completely normal.
agree
Much of the issue with Cluster Bs is that they don't have actual empathy, despite many claiming to be empaths simply because they think they are mind readers and also overreact to what they think others are thinking or feeling.
I've dated 2 women that likely were Cluster Bs. Here's a red flag common to both. They never once saw something touching related to a struggle someone else had and then discussed it with compassion. An example would be seeing an elderly woman shopping by herself and struggling. A normal woman might see this (and possibly help the person) and then come home and tell you about the sad, touching thing they saw. It is a red flag if a woman NEVER does something like this. The older woman is just a one off, it could be anything. You need to see a genuine soul somewhere in there. If you don't, that's an issue.
Conversely, if you are a guy with a lot of soul and genuine compassion for others, the BPD women are totally drawn to that like catnip. They want to extract it from you for themselves.
The "empath" thing is bs. Cluster B have false empathy only. They are very self-centered and filled with their own "pain" so they don't give a f about anyone's feelings.
I can relate, a man died upstairs from my apartment and all I really care about is how awful his corpse has made everything smell. It's hard to feel empathy for a world so callous and difficult to live in, people suck.
trust me...
cats / dogs / pets are the way forward...
Nope. That's a cope for the ego. Today everything is for women, especially at least semi-good looking. They are never single.
I think people naturally gravitate towards people with similar emotional development. 1 misstep might be coincidence if you date similar people 5 times in a row, you have to ask yourself what that has to do with you.
Water seeks it's own level
This is true but opposites attract too, a lot of beta guys get lured in by BPD women because they are more aggressive than the guys in making the first move and they’re prone to not putting up a fight to leave.
She’s a babe
My ex told me she has BPD , played it as an excuse for her behavior
Yeah, "that's not me, that's my illness"
I dated a BPD girl once. Literally would flip out for no reason whatsoever! Behavior was completely erratic and often manipulative at times. Needless to say it didn’t last more than a few weeks.
@@mikea.4477 10 years in my case
I'm a 43 year old man, i was misdiagnosed for years with bipolar 1 and based on my symptoms (behavior) i fit the criteria for borderline personality disorder. This isn't a female only personality disorder and it is expressed the same in both genders. DBT, on going therapy and Dr. Daniel Fox have been instrumental in my progress.
Sarah Michelle Gellar, Savanna James, are good examples of wife material. Really not many examples these days
Is this Bob Backlund’s wife?
Dating a bpd woman is like being put in the crossface chicken wing every night
My BDP story:
I got married my last year of HS, in love and rebellion against the world.
We were young, dumb, and in love. She comes from a horrible background and had serious issues, which I thought could be worked out eventually. I felt the need to “save” her.
I learned to deal with her instability. We moved to a different country to be far from the environment which broke her. We share three daughters. For some reason, being away from anyone made it “manageable”. Behind closed doors, she struggled with aggression, depression, and violence. Nevertheless, she was quite a great wife and mother throughout the first 8 years. We divorced around the 11-year mark.
Our first daughter had a great mom growing up. My younger daughters had little to no mom at all. After the divorce, I raised the girls.
We have seen BPD destroy everything in her path, our marriage, our family, her professional life, and many friendships. It’s like the aftermath of a nuclear bomb.
The best I could do was to raise my girls in harmony, teach them to read the red flags, and accept their mom’s condition. They’ve learned to manage their relationships with her, though she will remain a challenge forever.
I wish I had understood this earlier. Love yourself more gentlemen, no need to go through this.
My cousin has just been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He is one of the most toxic people I have ever met. It’s impossible to have an adult healthy relationship with him. He has no friends because he always gaslights and bullies everyone.
I've had my experience with it and shared my story with Rich in the comments section of an older video.
Even as red pill as he is, he was shocked at what I went through.
Which video is that?
What happened?
We need more women like Tara in the world.
That pretty much says it all: you cannot find her on the internet. And dealing with women who have NPD and HPD are about as challenging as BPD!!😂😂🤣🤣
Mine had all the red flags…. I just thought it was normal chick shit… we started dating when I was 21. I would have broken up with her but I was young and dumb and also felt sorry for her , she suffered from depression. Absolute rocket in bed though 😂. My gut was telling me to get out but I felt trapped.
We had kids and she was relatively normal and actually quite nice to deal with. Her parents died and she went totally off the rails ….
Off the rails good or off the rails bad. Also. Power to you bro.
@@capcapTap off the rails bad … infidelity, shit overall attitude.
I wouldn't mind paying some extra taxes to have them analyzed by a psychologist ,that way we know what we are dealing with. It seems like the families and media have made this much harder.
I didn't even know what bpd meant until this week. I got out of a 2 year relationship recently. Done some research on her behavior and learned what it is. Your description is 100% accurate of the way she behaved. Tried to press me into marriage but I decided after my first and only divorce I would never do that again so I saved myself on that one. Everyone watching this video needs to watch it twice and don't forget it. They are slick and I promise aren't worth the time of day. Walk away and don't look back. Or pay the price if you choose to stay. It's no joke
As a general quick rule of thumb an indicator of issues at present is phone usage. Nearly every woman I've encountered recently with issues has a phone almost permanently jammed in their face. They can look and say as many trad things as they like if they need that permanent shallow validation and escape there's issues there. It can come down to the fact they don't like themselves so don't want to spend too much time inwardly reflecting. You used to see this in women who couldn't have a quiet room, if you stopped talking to them the tv or stereo went on, now it's phone in face. You are basically another distraction from themselves, totally draining and you will be eventually made responsible for the endless task.
Rich, the thing is that those rage issues with women definately comes from poor parenting and education. I am 100% sure that rhysteric raging women is a phenomenon of our time,. 100 years ago this wasn't common at all. They were immediately sent to a psych ward, when becoming hysteric, which is the right thing to do, because they become a danger to others.
I noticed just by accident years ago that if you ask a woman what she’s looking for she will almost never mention love, and when they do it’s at the bottom of the list, can’t say this will help you as I checked out of dating soon afterwards, not because of that I just didn’t want the headaches of dating today, I don’t like job interviews even when it was for a job
Funny you mention that I’ve asked countless women on dating apps what you’re looking for and none say love, the closest you’ll get is “something for the long-term” or “marriage” which to me says they just want the status and event of a wedding than the guy himself.
Cluster B women in general are horrific.
Women with BPD, almost 100% of the time have daddy issues, or have experienced some other major trauma while growing up.
They will eventually end up taking out their unresolved issues with their father on their partner.
There is a flip side to the vetting of a potential wife that is often overlooked. It is critically important for a young man to evaluate the relationship that he has/had, with his mother, as this is where most of his vulnerabilities and blind spots will originate.
Remember its called borderline because it's "on the border" between neurosis and psychosis.
Are you referring to Bi-Polar Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder? This acronym is always a bit confusing as it has been assigned to both conditions, which are also in the same basket of pathologies (cluster B).
BTW, BPD is really NPD Narcissistic Personality Disorder. BPD was only created for women, to avoid the NPD diagnosis, which was considered a male thing.
Also, BPD and NPD today some psychologists believe should be labeled as Anti-Social Psychotics. They are truly insane. And I want to add that very often PTSD is diagnosed as BPD, and they can be helped, and healed. Best to stay away, and be very super vigilant.
As you probably guessed I've experienced this fun relationship type.
Can you send me a link where it says it should be labeled as ASPD?
I know many say Histrionics should be labeled under NPD. Histrionics is similar to both BPD & NPD.
By age 13 women learn how to be an actress .
Try and put your big booty boots in those shoes.
Then factor in Cooper's knowledge.
I'm a old oak tree but I'm not going to pull some shade
My last wife was someone with BPD. Because of her, I really came to know the meaning of gaslighting. She eventually killed herself.
Wish I would have known before marriage. Living in the chaos is exhausting
Wait…you don’t like waking up everyday not knowing what version of the psycho you’re going to get? So much fun though…
ooh boy, learnt that lesson the hard way fellas, RUN AWAY!!! especially anyone who has BPD
Best vetting method: Does she have a pulse? Does she have a smart phone? If yes and yes, she has BPD.
Sounds to me like they maybe be describing NPD, not BPD. But I’m sure there is an overlap.
There are major overlaps.
Not to long ago I met a lady and we had the most incredible romantic time. I thought we were going to be together forever. Then about a week later right out of the blue, she leaves me a John deer letter. So I called her up and she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her enough or something, I mean I don't know I really wasn't paying attention. But the thing that hurt the most is I think she was seeing another guy.....I never did find out who.
BPDs monkey branch a lot
@@neodistinct Absolutely
She was using you for entertainment and was either doing him too or he came by a little later and she liked him more. One week!? Who the hell worries about paying attention to each other at one week. Scrogging for multiple hours per day wasn't enough attention?? Lol. She fed you a load of bovine excrement my friend. You're better off without her. Lesson learned.
Dumb & Dumber - Classic😅
It's nothing you did wrong. If you listen to these yappers they will always pin it on you. The truth is that she was double/triple dipping and another guy simply fucked her better. Don't ever let women tell you WHY they are leaving you, because even she is cheating behind your back she will say that it's because you weren't doing this or that
Great opening!
My dad passed away recently and I really believe my mom, who has bpd, slowly killed him. The amount of stress he was under bc of her was insurmountable. I believe I have inherited some of her craziness, but I work so hard to be a good wife and mother and to have a different outcome. Stay away from these women!
You probably have. Keep working on your issues. Good luck.
@@spacepope87 💗thank you🙏
I'd love to be interviewed by rich on bpd . I just got out of a 10 year relationship with one I have alot of insights and crazy stories
14 years here, almost same story as Bobby
Monkey branched on by the one with quiet BPD. And was smeared on TikTok in her smear campaign.
Yea, absolutely, RUN from chicks like that.
I am here to tell you, DO NOT play the BPD game.
We are warning you, I am telling you from experience, it won’t work out, so please, do yourself a favor and leave her now.
Wow…pretty wife,
When I met my X, she was normal. Then she went on birth control and this were basically the same with minor changes. After she quit birth control she went full-blown bipolar and became a different person
An what was later?
B.C. is impacting hormonal dynamics
Bipolar or borderline? This video is about borderline.
I fell for this BPD our friends could not figure out why I could not get along with her she hide it from everyone. behind closed doors it came out. outsides knew to walk lightly but thought she was the sweetest person
Is BPD = BiPolar Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder?
Borderline.
All my comments constantly getting deleted now.
I see it
Lot to learn about people and personalities. Dated a gal who was ruthless with people who didn’t do as she said. She tried that with me, and that ended it. Never understand what was happening. Meaning why she could be wonderful then so explosive, even swearing with a red face. These people were not a threat to her they just chose to not do what she told them, not employees. Always thought it was some thing that pushed her toward the edge moments before said encounter. Know I know.
Great conversation 👏🏼
I believe i spent 4 years with a BPD, only realised a year i left, ive been single for 5+ years and still dont want anyone, i think im still messed up and not risking again.
Run from men with BPD as well. This goes both ways.
Onya Rich, smart men understand the true meaning of relevance
Hey Rich have you covered solipsism before?
Wish I had known the BPD signs.
BDPD
Amber Terd?
WTF is bpd?
"That wasn't me- that was Patricia."
Is Border Line the same as Bi-Polar disorders?
Nope. Totally different things.
However BPD usually gets misdiagnosed as Bipolar by less qualified psychiatrists.
@@neodistinctaccurate. Bpd is slippery. It's a clinically recognized condition, but most are never officially diagnosed. Same with other cluster b.
Bpd is generally considered to be a post-traumatic condition. This is why abusive childhood and daddy issues are almost always involved. Bipolar is a chemical imbalance. Manic episodes for example can last for days or weeks at a time. Bpd has no emotional regulation at all and can flip flop between states of sublime peace and absolute rage within seconds. They outsource their emotional regulation to you, which is why they love you so much. Their hell is now your problem. You're their savior and they melt in your arms. But moment you don't fulfill their every desire, they perceive you as their abuser and you become an existential threat. They are a walking nightmare.
@@ct00001 yes, You just described my ex to a t. It was amazing when it was good but then every few weeks drama out of nothing, insane emotional instability and no trust at all. Noticed the red flags after around 1 month already, it was probably the most difficult thing i ever had to do, but managed to get out after 6 months. Dating a bpd woman is literally like being a drug addict, the highs are super high but the lows are worse and worse and they destroy you day by day do that you become only a shell if yourself. Lesson learned, don't ever even date a woman with bpd, they will suck you in and it won't end well.
@@leventejuhasz3492 glad you got out man. The only winning move with cluster b is to not play the game at all.
if someone says they are happily married, in my experience they are usually not.
Yup..her face says otherwise
Wait. Bobby seems a bit oblivious. People make mistakes, of course. I guess BPD folks, men and women, are pretty crafty and calculating. But there did seem to be warning signs for Bobby's wife, earlier on, as Bobby related things.
Also, where were the 5 Ways to Vet Her for BPD?
What’s BPD?
Never mind. Got it
read the wikipedia article
Dont hate on us with BPD. To be fair, people with Autism, like my nephew, are violent and out of control at times. Some of the women are just entitled and spoiled not ill in any clinical way.
Yeah, sorry, dude, but I came pretty close to putting a bullet in my head because of a BPD ex. There is an understanding that autism to that degree is a disability that strips the sufferer from free will in terms of making calculated decisions. If we ascribed that line of thinking to borderline personality disorder, then I would agree with the comparison. Unfortunately, BPD is often ascribed the definition of feelings of emotions intensely. I, for one, do not agree at all that anyone with BPD who hasn't received years of intensive TFP, DBT, Schema based therapy should be in a romantic relationship. There isn't any amount of compassion or empathy that can help a person through their own path of healing. Too many people end up destroyed on the other end, me being one of them. I sincerely wish any sufferer the best with their treatment course, but it's just not fair to idealize and build someone up as the best thing ever only to tear them down. The flip from soulmate to most hated is truly devastating. You can clearly tell that someone has severe autism if they are having the meltdowns you describe. This is just patently not true with BPD. You could get a mirrored perfect partner, a soul mate, only to find out that this person resents you more than anyone you have ever encountered and will purposely make you suffer and avoid facing accountability at all costs. The quiet subtype of borderline and narcissism can mask almost perfectly with no red flags and when they do crop up the sunk cost fallacy comes into play almost all the time. But if I could talk to my past self, jump ship and find the life raft, staying on the ship isn't worth losing your life.
It's not for the faint of heart to deal with, and I've actively met at least a dozen individuals who are permanently damaged after exiting a BPD relationship. Some are even ex-military and thought the BPD relationship was worse than some atrocities overseas, which is saying something.
Sometimes, the flags don't present until it's deep into the commitment phase (years) and then you have to decide if you want to weather the storm or GTFO when there are kids and marriage involved. Unfortunately too many people want to weather the storm and get lost at sea forever.
Edit: I am fully healed from the exBPD relationship, however it took 2 years of intensive therapy and getting my shit together and getting back to my business and fitness full time.
@@donaldsodav290 I'm sorry for your terrible experience and I can relate. I was stalked by my ex girlfriend who had bipolar 1 and had a twin brother that warned me about her. My poor decision to date her seeking that external validation that people with BPD are known for, I did not listen. We had intense sex, intense "love" then severely abused each other. I am 20 years older now, it took me years to overcome her abuse too. I go to weekly therapy, take medicine to soften my reaction and follow the advice of Dr. Daniel Fox here on UA-cam. A man with BPD isn't any better, I hope we both can experience a healthy relationship with a woman in our futures. 🙋🧘
@@donaldsodav290same. Tried to hang myself 3 times because, BPD women totally devalued and monkey branched on me after 10 years. Beside that following their victim mentality pattern she smeared me on TikTok.
I would not wish that to my worst enemy.
@@donaldsodav290 You certainly had other issues that existed prior to the abuse you endured. My first girlfriend and myself, back in 1999 (19yrs old), were abusive to each other, she was a fraternal twin with bipolar and I was not diagnosed or treated yet. The pattern was sex, fighting, sex, fighting followed by breaking up. Round we went, we both went through hell. Most women are emotional and already cause drama without a disorder.
@InstrumentvanVrede I'm going to stick with avoiding personality disorders at all costs. I don't care what the back story is or the history; if you have NPD or BPD, it's a strict no-go zone for me. Not worth the gamble.
My trauma was watching my mother and sister weaponize emotional abuse to an extreme that bewildered for years until I discovered what BPD was. Everything made sense. Because of the unhealed trauma, I allowed myself to get involved with another BPD woman. I should have jumped ship right away as soon as that first glaring red flag popped up. However, the inner scared doormat child in me said I can make her feel better and fix this. There was only one batshit crazy person in the dynamic and it wasn't me. I was patient, kind, caring, compassionate, and she viewed me with contempt and anger. She hated my guts for no reason 70% of the time and sprinkled some 30% nice in there, enough to keep me hooked on wanting to work things out.
And yes I will stigmatize BPD until the majority decide to get serious about actually solving issues and taking responsibility via intense therapy that involves TFP, DBT, psychodynamic and other modalities to get the emotions and pathology in check. Otherwise, it destroys people like nothing else.
She is gorgeous