Another vlog from the vault! This one is from May, when I was desperately trying to mentally stay afloat. That obviously didn't end up happening and I disappeared from here the entire summer 🥲 but hey that's showbiz!!! Shout out to my Patreon Cousins -- we've been chatting about these struggles for a hot lil minute 💞
Its definitely understandable. I feel like we've all been in survival mode since 2020 and we're cracking from the strain of trying to function in the madness. I hope we can all find a way to recharge and recover . Also praying that we wont have to be in this survival mode anymore because it is trash .
We appreciate you keeping the fambam updated. The therapy session reenactment was hilarious, but they be spitting for real. Why is it so hard to be nice to yourself? It's easy to give others allowances but God forbid I miss a deadline.. weird. Thanks for being so open and honest, internet cousins will be here even if you need breaks.
Much gratitude to you for sharing your process! I love how you keep it 💯imma try theme week. I notice for me dividing my mind in multiple places doesn’t feel as productive or where I’m getting as much as I want done. && do co-working time again with my tribe. Thanks 4 da reminder.🌻🙏🏽 appreciate ur vlogs !!! Hope u in better headspace these days & reminder give self grace when not
We typically over-estimate what we can do in a day, but under-estimate what we can do in a month - you're getting more done than you think, even if you don't hit a daily goal! I like the idea of themed days, I think planning out the themes in advance provides the space to mentally prepare the night / days before so you can start lining up the tasks to complete on that day and then you're ready to hit the ground running. The themes (and their order) could change week on week depending on your needs too. Best of luck!
I literally started my youtube channel so that I'd be motivated to complete the activities that I was too depressed to do. Because historically I have a habit of going too hard, not being able to sustain the Herculean effort, giving up and hating myself. So now I’m trying to give a small, consistent small effort everyday. And its crazy how it adds up. Watching your vulnerability has been such a beautiful thing. I super appreciate the time you’ve taken to share your thoughts.
What you said at the end is very important. I can't say anything for neurotypicals but when I learned to accept myself as I am and my weaknesses and my mistakes. I stopped falling into depressions. I have dips here and there but I don't spiral anymore. It used to start with me feeling overwhelmed, getting lazy, bare minimum, then I make a mistake on already bare minimum. Then the guilt, shame, self recrimination comes. I would only want to hide away more. I would find myself not enjoying anything because I subconsciously didn't think I deserved it. Food would taste like plastic in my mouth and I lost weight. I would somehow find the strength to claw my way out, to do all the right things to undo the mistakes I made... Until I was exhausted and the cycle repeated It's only through self acceptance I stopped it. I can't stop myself from making a mistake. But hating myself for it only keeps me there for longer. Comparing myself to others is futile because I'm not them and I never will be. I have to be me. If this cycle resonates with anyone I'll say: you're not weaker or less than for nit being as productive as others. For not having your life put together. For making mistakes. You're an amazing strong person who deserves to love themselves. If you mess up, don't worry. It's never as bad as it seems. Do what you need to do and keep it moving. If you need a break - take it. Decide for yourself what you need, how productive you can be, how much rest you need. You'll be okay
You just read my entire 2017 and 2018. 😂😂 Whew, Lord have mercy. I can laugh at in now, but in the middle of it?? 😵💫 I literally felt like I was losing my mind. Fun times. /s That’s excellent advise too btw. Self acceptance and learning to ground myself in routines saved me.
Wow, brought me to tears, ugly cry. I’m 34 and this cycle has haunted me for a good 20 years. It’s so hard to accept yourself and not fall into intense shame and guilt. Your message beyond resonates, thank you for sharing this!
Lately I've been struggling with existential dread. Stuff has been happening back to back and ish feels futile. Cleaning is one thing that makes me feel like I have some control again.
Evelyn I related to you on different things throughout the years but THIS! Is the one!!! Nothing sucks more than being ambitious and having ADHD Bc the constant feeling of overwhelm does not go away… and it’s exhausting. Thank you for sharing 🥹
Yesssss constantly feeling overwhelmed or paralyzed by all the things to do. It’s so easy to end up doing nothing from the intense overwhelm or burnout from doing too much.
It is honestly refreshing to see someone in the realm of social media being honest about figuring life out😅 a lot of what we are fed is that everybody’s got it together. I struggle with the same intrusive thoughts and have used planners to do essentially what you’ve done! Also I love the coworking idea especially for those who are single or just in need of company😊
Over the past decade I've slowly started treating my depression/adhd a combination of talk therapy, antidepressants, exercise and now Ritalin. There are ups and downs, but there is lasting progress. Most important thing I learned over the years is to accept my brain works a bit differently, but that doesn't make me a bad person. Don't be too hard on yourself if you don't do a thing, it happens
We’re on the same wavelength! I just started working with an executive functioning coach around these very issues of time management, productivity, getting ish on the calendar, brain dumps lol …the key for sure seems to be giving the to-do list items a date and a time or time block (morning, evening, 2hr window, etc) for the to-do’s to have any hope of blooming into anything beyond a seed of a thought. Looking out for mention of how your theme weeks are going in the future 🙌🏾🌻
I love this idea of breaking down days into “theme” days. This is something I’m going to try an implement to get my undiagnosed ADHD ass through the last leg of graduate school 😩
Appreciate anytime you make a vid, Evelyn. :) Also, I was diagnosed with ADHD at 28, and I was experiencing a lot of what you are discussing in this video. Wouldn't hurt to get an assessment, or there are support groups for folks with adhd as well as those who are undiagnosed that are BIPOC centered. Those have helped me.
I’m glad you’ve at least identified your problem area, Evelyn. I pray you’re able to find your center and joy again soon ! 🙏🏿 Nothing is worth losing your peace of mind over.
Currently entering a budget meeting for the first documentary I am producing. I quit my job about 4 years ago and began my fun employment era at 38 and that lead me to movies. Your videos have literally held me together, thank you for all the inspiration.
Figure It Out Friday actually prompted me to do a task I've been putting off for a long time. Really appreciate you always being so real, it helps a lot. You've got this, even when you don't!
love this! every friday i do "Finance Fridays" and it's been so helpful. i no longer feel overwhelmed all the time, now that it's designated to a specific day. this has inspired me to do the same with other obligations. ❤❤❤
That last part is so true, I have ADHD and even when I manage to do a lot of things in one day (I write all I do down so I don't forget and feel bad for feeling like I did nothing) sometimes I think "but have I done enough though?" instead of being happy for what I have accomplished!
I love that you are giving editors an opportunity to even submit their work. i’ve been trying to muster up the courage to edit content, and i’m not the editor for you but you’re giving me the motivation to start now.
I love these videos and been sharing them with my friends! We all have been feeling EXACTLY like this. We’ve named…whatever this is “the 30s conundrum” 😂😂 All of us are at the start of our 30s (I’m 32) Not sure why we’re all like this but these vids have been helping. If not, at the very least, we get a good laugh while offering perspective and not feeling alone. Love ya girlie!
As someone who is also self employed, I understand the accountability struggle & as former lover of high school spirit week, I am here for the themed days... I'm going to give it a go! Thanks for the idea:)
Right, I am mid shower and had to pause, dry my hands and come over here and type this!! I.... HAVE TO start organising my week like this 1) and 2) Going through ALL your notebooks and complying your thoughts is bloody genius!!! Getting stuck because I don't know how to do something is so overwhelming too. I do end up putting stuff down because I don't know how to move forward and doing something I know how to do. (also the fomo you experience when working on your own projects and doing contracts... seriously relatable) 💜💜💜
It’s okay to have multiple gifts❤️ society teaches us that we can only have one and I think that may have been why you felt so overwhelmed. So that was the perfect idea to split up your gifts for the week so you focus on them all without leaving anything out💜💜 incredible job Evelynnn🥰 you’ve been inspiring me and bringing me joy and laughter for years👑
I faced a fear last week that I have been avoiding for yrs and my first reaction was wow! See? I didn’t burst into flames. It opened up a hope in me, that the things I want are not just dreams but are attainable. That’s so exciting. 😊. I plan on facing more stuff I avoid in the near future so I can just get to the other side of it and on with my life.
This was so good. I am just stepping into to the self-employed chapter of my life and it's crazy how many tasks float around in my head but never get done 😂😭 it's easy to get overwhelmed. And having 4 different notebooks probably isn't helping buuuuut...yeah. Just have to keep working towards getting my days a little more organized. I love the "themed week/days" idea!!
I love this. I know it seems mean to be glad to see someone else struggling because I've been struggling with my own productivity. 😐 Thank you for your vulnerability! Know that you are not alone!
I lowkey think I have ADHD too and the idea of themes is actually one I'm going to try next week! You hit the nail on the head about worrying and wanting to work on 1,001 things on your to-do list that you wind up getting nothing done
Ur transparency on ur moods/feelings is refreshing. Normalize feelings! It’s ok to just wanna lay in the bed & do nothing all day. Just not for multiple days. Love ya Ev 💕
Hey Evelyn...I want you to know you aren't alone in how you feel. In the other video you made, you asked if anyone else has felt the particular way you've been feeling the past seven months. I definitely have. Not having a name for it makes it feel worse sometimes. It's isolating, overwhelming, soul crushing...I'm so sorry you've been experiencing it. Wish we were real friends so I could let you vent, cry or throw my arms around you. I have been following your channel for years now and my heart breaks knowing the difficulty it probably is posting this stuff and seeing older versions of yourself that you may not recognize in this moment. Feelings right now are rough, but don't lose hope. Your art and your mind has changed the way I've viewed my own. You've inspired me and I love how easily you embrace your zany humor and honest representation of yourself. I've thought these things for awhile and I thought, I'm sure it wouldn't hurt for her to know. You've got someone praying for you and supporting you EVEN IF you don't get out of bed or eat too much or too little or feel like a stranger when you look in the mirror. You are still worthy despite what it may feel like or despite how much work you've put out there. Try to journal if you can, if you aren't already. There's insightful stuff in this season if you can try not to numb yourself away from it. Love you internet cousin
The way this struggle is sooooo normal. Having ADHD and cptsd has been a undercover blessing, it’s helped me understand the importance of simplifying shit. Cause who got the time to run through all these ideas.
This is so relatable Evelyn. I have also tried to outwit my brain and habits by coming up with a better system. The only result was many random notes in many random places. I agree that 2-3 things per day, to completion, is much more manageable. I just decided to move from written blog posts to a little text and audio recordings (not a podcast) to take back some time and energy AND still make the thing.
Honestly, I don't think I've ever related this hard to anything on youtube. Like...I FELT this. Personally, I just decided to stop trying to move mountains all the time. I, too, have a terrible habit of jumping back and forth between tasks and I think that that is my biggest problem tbh. The TODO list never gets smaller, in fact its getting bigger because of the things that life and capitalism throw on your plate, so its always overwhelming and you can only sit with that for so long before you just throw in the towel for a while and end up doing nothing at all. I've been experimenting with trying to focus on one task at a time, defining a clear end-point, however suboptimal it might seem to my perfectionistic brain and once that marker is hit, STOP and move on. That has resulted in probably one of the most productive weeks I've had in MONTHS. The infinite TODO list actually started getting shorter. I think it's a trick that your mind plays on you when it suggests that you won't be satisfied if you don't get everything juuussst right. But tbh, once it's done and that fact registers in your brain...you just sort of move on lol. Like I can spend a long time trying to decide what to eat but if I just force myself to eat something, anything, I'm good. The meal didn't need to be perfect or ideal or whatever. I really was JUST hungry. That's all.
I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE INSPIRED GIRL IM DOING THIS SHIT NEXT WEEK I needed to Buckle down on writing my novel (which includes admitting to myself that I am fucking writing one 😭) and Writing Wednesdays sounds absolutely beautiful
Even though this was from May, I still found it motivational, so thank you! I'm working on comics and illustrations right now, and trying to come up with some holiday printable content for patreon, but I DEFINITELY do the FOMO thing where I feel pulled in a dozen directions at once and then just end up doing nothing. It's frustrating, to say the least. Add a dash of mental illness in the mix and woo boy, we have a party!
It sounds like you jumping from one task to the other is subconscious self-sabotage. When I find it difficult to finish tasks, it’s often because I fear the judgement others may have or I may have of my work. And so, I don’t finish the stuff, because then no one can judge me! The key is to recognise that, and then remind myself that what I produce is not a measure of my worth, and not even my ability because I can always learn and continue to improve. And then continuing to soothe myself with that knowledge, and then I start finishing things.
I basically spent the entire summer up till now staring at my computer for 8 hrs every work day, doing barely anything. Ish just piling up and me not caring or my brain sounding alarms but the body just giving up. This after spending the past years of my life being the best possible at my job, and getting a promotion. Took a while, but I figured out that I hated my job. After a couple days of waking up and thinking of unaliving myself, I decided it was time to look for a new job. I got the new job and now I have a pep in my step. I am so excited for the new chapter in my life...until the next mental slump I guess. 🤷🏽♀️
I love this. I have the same issues. I have a 9-5er which I do from home. But I have a lot of other interests and often find myself distracted and spinning my wheels. I haven’t made it all the way thru the video yet, but I love the theme-day idea!
This was very helpful! I’ll need to watch it again… and again to have it sink in but this is definitely me. I have learned to try to do a couple tasks a day, I’m home bound mostly and disabled, so I find myself sometimes wondering what about a lazy day to keep recharged instead of pushing myself to the point that my body and mind insist on daysssss off. I really like your “money Monday’s” etc. I need to figure out what days I need and then also schedule a lazy day without guilt. Okay, this disabled person is going to go eat Bon Bon’s now like everyone thinks … not really but I had to throw it there. Thank YOU 🙏
i think even watching you go on that journey gave me the mental larity and motivation to plan my own tasks (for the day - but I'll work upto a week) appreciate!
Best quote and I 100% needed to hear this: "Realistically, you can only do maybe 3 things in a day...but because of the society we live in where its go, go, go, hustle, hustle, hustle hard...I be forgetting that" LIKE YES. ME TOO.
Chile, this is a good idea. I'm not self-employed, but I have problems with burnout in my field. I don't always prioritize things appropriately because I am LITERALLY trying to do EVERYTHING everyday. Exercise everyday. Get x amount of work done every day. Read everyday. Meditate every day. Write everyday. Engage with others everyday. Tis not feasible. I really like this approach of chunking things together, and I might try that myself. Keep on going girl, you're awesome!
I’m not diagnosed, but I’m pretty convinced that I have ADHD I’ve been trying to figure out ways to get through school work/errands with out feeling like I’m sinking. So I jump from doing an hour of hw, to loading laundry, to doing another hour of that same assignment, to taking a dance break, etc just to give my brain a change so it doesn’t feel trapped . it’s helped a bit but sometimes I’ll get caught up in one for too long. I’ve never heard of this themed week approach, it made so much sense. I personally just need to discipline myself to not jump on the next idea I have in my head, and save it for a later date. Being able to translate this mindset into my creative ventures has me going THROUGH IT. Especially when executing a project so many other ideas pop up at once. But I really like this approach, rather than trying to set a time for everything in the day. This was an amazing video, a realistic representation of what it’s like of having intentions of getting things done, but it not always working out that way. If you’re reading this, push to be better but give yourself grace when you mess up, you’re in the midst of changing , you’re going to mess up along the way.♥️
These vlogs have given new life to my Fridays, I so look forward to them! Loving the topics you're discussing, they always feel so applicable to where I'm at 🙌🏾💙
My project manager, director of operations, strategic planning heart did leaps of joy throughout this entire video. YES to creating a plan!! YES to learning by doing!! YES to assessing what did and did not work after implementing the plan!! and YES to deciding when you'd continue the things that worked!! The key to productivity is discovering YOUR groove and rhythm, making *realistic* promises to yourself (2-3 tasks per day MAX), and then keeping those promises. Proud of you for the discoveries you made, Evelyn. It's a success if ya ask me. 😉
idk why but these vlogs from the void offer such a new perspective,, like apart from that they're class in themselves, the "late" release makes this universal phenomenon of "slump" (whatever concrete (un)diagnosed thing might be lying underneath individually) so palpable; just like the immense pressure, the extra admin, organising work that self employed ppl are tasked with - thank you Evelyn!
Evelyn, you always post something that is so relevant. Your vulnerability is so beautiful and inspiring. I’m actually going to try theming a week or so out of a the month after this and see how it works for me. Thank you for sharing cousin, we’re right here with you!
Thank you for being so transparent! Girl, I haven’t worked on my script in so long that when I went on Final Draft the other day the layout looked different 🥴
Hey yall! This will be relevant for all my menstruating peeps but Evelyn love this idea! I like to do something similar on the “summer” week of my moon cycle. The summer week is the week of ovulation / action and is most likely the period (hehe) of time where i will have the energy and will to get things done. Ive been loving living my life around my cycle bc its just that a cycle. I get to really rest and not feel bad about it & really honor how im feeling.
I really like the concept of the co-working space. I’ve found that some form of quality time with other people really does energize me, but I don’t always have the energy to make myself or my space presentable to invite someone over or go out in public.
This is literally me. I feel like being self employed is great but it’s so easy to have so many things that you want to do that you get so overwhelmed and get in the bed. I thought I was the only one. Glad to see someone else understands my struggle.
I love the themed week and how therapy thursday is a thing instead of being like 'I can recharge on the weekends' because it is part of the work. I also completely understand the phone-email thing. Sometimes I dream about getting one of those flip phones with GPS and data/wifi/hotspot so I'm only reachable by sms or call but can still use my giant old phone like it's an extremely small tablet computer. Oh and something I've found motivating workwise is to wear the less than comfortable work/outside clothes during say 9-5 and then changing into comfortable not work stuff because the discomfort is a constant reminder to foooocus
Against my better judgment, I bought an actual planner for 2023 (LMAO) … I love the Theme Idea, I’m thinking Money Monday, Therapy Tuesday, Writing Wednesday … no idea what theme to use for Thursday and ‘F*ck It Friday … wait. No, Figure It Out Friday. I guess it will depend on week by week basis. Love your channel. Subscribed. Clicked the bell. Bless you for being you.
I can relate!!! Personally, I’m “working on” a million things at once: debut novel (2 yrs in the making so far), a YT channel, a sports blog, a personal blog, on top of school, running a business while doing what I can to make a decent living when business is slow . Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by everything…and as someone with ADHD i can def relate!!
I love how you take the opportunity to involve your audience with your busy week- as a creative in design I find it challenging to also balance getting projects to the finish line but once they are there, baby!! Lol What makes you stand out to me, is the genuine ambience of you being you, and being able to resonate with your language. Id love to stay involved with your projects :) talk with you soon
You are the only channel that Makes me laugh out loud and that is not to say that I am laughing at your situation because if smack my lip ever went away I would cry it is my favorite. I totally understand not being able to be as productive at home as opposed to going to a job and maybe if you force yourself to go to a different location from your home every day like a library or a coffee shop etc. it could help. Now I know you’re recording stuff but maybe when you have the nitty-gritty sit down type on a keyboard stuff you go to a different location and maybe you even just walk around a pretty area weather permitting like one UA-camr I watch does. I wish you luck figuring this out.
I think that’s going to work out wonderful for you, as part of my time management improvement for this year I made sure I set tasks (weekly shopping/laundry/extra errands/meal prep/deep cleaning/self care/gym/going out) for each day and rotate when needed. Yep that’s probably the most annoying thing about liking to write things down, sometimes you don’t have it all in 1 spot, I had to get better at just sticking to my 1 planner. Your therapy reenactment was hilarious, this video was illuminating.
11:03 this small segment just opened my mind up. I’ve been trying to write for so long and always end up stuck. This just changed my perspective so much
Mamacitaaaaa!!! This was so helpful for me! I work full time but I have a full time amt of work worth of creative projects I only randomly work on when I have energy and drive. Thank u internet cuz 💜💜💜
I like this idea, i will try it for myself… might require some trial and error because my executive function is in the trash buried under my mental health lol.
YOU SPOKE TO MY BRAIN !! Directly !!!!!! Oh my goodness 🤯 my girl who KNOWSSS me knew to send this to me first thing Saturday morning. I think it’s a “blessing & a curse” being a creative. Our brains always bring forward new ideas etc. I’m going to do this, I’m going to make 2 priorities. I have a 7 month old so challenge accepted. I’ll figure out how I want to approach it this week and Vlog my progress next week. LOVE THIS VIDEO!
I just wanted to say I always love your videos and you always inspire me to change something about how i'm living at the moment. thanks for being here and i love seeing your videos again
Sooooo 0:15 - 1:45 is, no exaggeration, *LITERALLY* me! I even had a full-on panic attack this past June because of this. Thankfully I was able to reel myself in (honestly, I had quite a bit of help) Someone suggested that I should set systems and have my workstation ready for whatever time I felt inspired to actually get to work and it's kinda sorta very much helped me. Hearing you talk about it genuinely helped me feel not so alone, so thank you! I'm rooting for all of us lol 🥰
Another vlog from the vault! This one is from May, when I was desperately trying to mentally stay afloat. That obviously didn't end up happening and I disappeared from here the entire summer 🥲 but hey that's showbiz!!! Shout out to my Patreon Cousins -- we've been chatting about these struggles for a hot lil minute 💞
I appreciate you sharing work that was done a while ago and when you weren't feeling well. It makes so many creatives feel less alone.
Its definitely understandable. I feel like we've all been in survival mode since 2020 and we're cracking from the strain of trying to function in the madness. I hope we can all find a way to recharge and recover . Also praying that we wont have to be in this survival mode anymore because it is trash .
We appreciate you keeping the fambam updated. The therapy session reenactment was hilarious, but they be spitting for real. Why is it so hard to be nice to yourself? It's easy to give others allowances but God forbid I miss a deadline.. weird. Thanks for being so open and honest, internet cousins will be here even if you need breaks.
Much gratitude to you for sharing your process! I love how you keep it 💯imma try theme week. I notice for me dividing my mind in multiple places doesn’t feel as productive or where I’m getting as much as I want done. && do co-working time again with my tribe. Thanks 4 da reminder.🌻🙏🏽 appreciate ur vlogs !!! Hope u in better headspace these days & reminder give self grace when not
🫂💜
"I BE IN THE BED!" Felt that. 💜
"I be in the bed" Girl that's me. I established with my therapist a looking time ago that the bed is my safe place.
We typically over-estimate what we can do in a day, but under-estimate what we can do in a month - you're getting more done than you think, even if you don't hit a daily goal!
I like the idea of themed days, I think planning out the themes in advance provides the space to mentally prepare the night / days before so you can start lining up the tasks to complete on that day and then you're ready to hit the ground running. The themes (and their order) could change week on week depending on your needs too. Best of luck!
I'm stealing that first line you said, I really needed that, lol. Very perfect 😊
Doing just 2 task at max capacity for a day is often so mich better than trying to get everything done. The quality goes up. ❤
I literally started my youtube channel so that I'd be motivated to complete the activities that I was too depressed to do.
Because historically I have a habit of going too hard, not being able to sustain the Herculean effort, giving up and hating myself. So now I’m trying to give a small, consistent small effort everyday. And its crazy how it adds up.
Watching your vulnerability has been such a beautiful thing. I super appreciate the time you’ve taken to share your thoughts.
I just subscribed.
Hhhmmm you actually might have a point here
What you describes is me, thought I was the only one. 😭
Aawww huge hugs. It’s tough. So glad you’re doing it. 🎉 cheers 🥂
Same.
What you said at the end is very important. I can't say anything for neurotypicals but when I learned to accept myself as I am and my weaknesses and my mistakes. I stopped falling into depressions. I have dips here and there but I don't spiral anymore.
It used to start with me feeling overwhelmed, getting lazy, bare minimum, then I make a mistake on already bare minimum. Then the guilt, shame, self recrimination comes. I would only want to hide away more. I would find myself not enjoying anything because I subconsciously didn't think I deserved it. Food would taste like plastic in my mouth and I lost weight. I would somehow find the strength to claw my way out, to do all the right things to undo the mistakes I made... Until I was exhausted and the cycle repeated
It's only through self acceptance I stopped it. I can't stop myself from making a mistake. But hating myself for it only keeps me there for longer. Comparing myself to others is futile because I'm not them and I never will be. I have to be me.
If this cycle resonates with anyone I'll say: you're not weaker or less than for nit being as productive as others. For not having your life put together. For making mistakes. You're an amazing strong person who deserves to love themselves. If you mess up, don't worry. It's never as bad as it seems. Do what you need to do and keep it moving. If you need a break - take it. Decide for yourself what you need, how productive you can be, how much rest you need. You'll be okay
You just read my entire 2017 and 2018. 😂😂 Whew, Lord have mercy. I can laugh at in now, but in the middle of it?? 😵💫 I literally felt like I was losing my mind. Fun times. /s That’s excellent advise too btw. Self acceptance and learning to ground myself in routines saved me.
thank you so much for this. Turning 20 soon and i really feel behind (which I know is crazy lol)
Wow, brought me to tears, ugly cry. I’m 34 and this cycle has haunted me for a good 20 years. It’s so hard to accept yourself and not fall into intense shame and guilt. Your message beyond resonates, thank you for sharing this!
whew.
Lately I've been struggling with existential dread. Stuff has been happening back to back and ish feels futile. Cleaning is one thing that makes me feel like I have some control again.
the boba part was honestly too relatable. all of my hopes and dreams and happiness are rly underneath that sealed plastic film
Evelyn x Danielle/Star Puppy is the crossover I didn't know I needed ❤
Ikr! I cheesed so hard at that part 😆
Evelyn I related to you on different things throughout the years but THIS! Is the one!!! Nothing sucks more than being ambitious and having ADHD Bc the constant feeling of overwhelm does not go away… and it’s exhausting. Thank you for sharing 🥹
Yesssss constantly feeling overwhelmed or paralyzed by all the things to do. It’s so easy to end up doing nothing from the intense overwhelm or burnout from doing too much.
🙃
Enjoyed this Evelyn! 🙏🏾❤️
Hey, you always posting something about my current struggles. I'm convinced you're my spirit sister. Love you, we got this💜
💜
frfr
just watched a video this morning on 'hurry sickness'
and just working myself through months of burnout
Same... every time I watch a video I feel like she's singing my life with her words
It is honestly refreshing to see someone in the realm of social media being honest about figuring life out😅 a lot of what we are fed is that everybody’s got it together. I struggle with the same intrusive thoughts and have used planners to do essentially what you’ve done! Also I love the coworking idea especially for those who are single or just in need of company😊
Your authenticity is a ray of sunshine. Much love from NZ.
Over the past decade I've slowly started treating my depression/adhd a combination of talk therapy, antidepressants, exercise and now Ritalin. There are ups and downs, but there is lasting progress. Most important thing I learned over the years is to accept my brain works a bit differently, but that doesn't make me a bad person. Don't be too hard on yourself if you don't do a thing, it happens
Figure It Out Fridays sound amazing. I need to incorporate that into my life somehow because I am all over the place right now 🙃
Yes I love that figure it out Friday idea and all the days in general! Rooting for you and all of us!🙏🏾❤️😊
We’re on the same wavelength! I just started working with an executive functioning coach around these very issues of time management, productivity, getting ish on the calendar, brain dumps lol …the key for sure seems to be giving the to-do list items a date and a time or time block (morning, evening, 2hr window, etc) for the to-do’s to have any hope of blooming into anything beyond a seed of a thought.
Looking out for mention of how your theme weeks are going in the future 🙌🏾🌻
I love this idea of breaking down days into “theme” days. This is something I’m going to try an implement to get my undiagnosed ADHD ass through the last leg of graduate school 😩
You got this! Keep going...
I call it “bed island” where can ignore all responsibilities, and sometimes eating (working on it)
Appreciate anytime you make a vid, Evelyn. :) Also, I was diagnosed with ADHD at 28, and I was experiencing a lot of what you are discussing in this video. Wouldn't hurt to get an assessment, or there are support groups for folks with adhd as well as those who are undiagnosed that are BIPOC centered. Those have helped me.
I’m glad you’ve at least identified your problem area, Evelyn. I pray you’re able to find your center and joy again soon ! 🙏🏿 Nothing is worth losing your peace of mind over.
Currently entering a budget meeting for the first documentary I am producing. I quit my job about 4 years ago and began my fun employment era at 38 and that lead me to movies. Your videos have literally held me together, thank you for all the inspiration.
Figure It Out Friday actually prompted me to do a task I've been putting off for a long time. Really appreciate you always being so real, it helps a lot. You've got this, even when you don't!
Danielle (aka Star Puppy) is so talented 🤩 and also has a great Patreon! 🥰
love this! every friday i do "Finance Fridays" and it's been so helpful. i no longer feel overwhelmed all the time, now that it's designated to a specific day. this has inspired me to do the same with other obligations. ❤❤❤
We empathize with you Evelyn, you are a total gift and deserve rest if you need it. Life is overwhelming as hell.
That last part is so true, I have ADHD and even when I manage to do a lot of things in one day (I write all I do down so I don't forget and feel bad for feeling like I did nothing) sometimes I think "but have I done enough though?" instead of being happy for what I have accomplished!
I love that you are giving editors an opportunity to even submit their work. i’ve been trying to muster up the courage to edit content, and i’m not the editor for you but you’re giving me the motivation to start now.
I love these videos and been sharing them with my friends! We all have been feeling EXACTLY like this. We’ve named…whatever this is “the 30s conundrum” 😂😂
All of us are at the start of our 30s (I’m 32)
Not sure why we’re all like this but these vids have been helping. If not, at the very least, we get a good laugh while offering perspective and not feeling alone. Love ya girlie!
As someone who is also self employed, I understand the accountability struggle & as former lover of high school spirit week, I am here for the themed days... I'm going to give it a go! Thanks for the idea:)
I felt so validated when you asked, say it with me, and turned the mic towards the camera. I actually leaned in and said the word, nothing 🥲
You are seriously dropping some many jems seriously thank you for sharing idk how old these vids are they are meaningful 😊 my fav internet cousin 🫂
Right, I am mid shower and had to pause, dry my hands and come over here and type this!!
I.... HAVE TO start organising my week like this 1) and 2) Going through ALL your notebooks and complying your thoughts is bloody genius!!!
Getting stuck because I don't know how to do something is so overwhelming too. I do end up putting stuff down because I don't know how to move forward and doing something I know how to do.
(also the fomo you experience when working on your own projects and doing contracts... seriously relatable) 💜💜💜
Im so happy to see you! I know it's been difficult so I am celebrating whatever, whenever you post on here!
It’s okay to have multiple gifts❤️ society teaches us that we can only have one and I think that may have been why you felt so overwhelmed. So that was the perfect idea to split up your gifts for the week so you focus on them all without leaving anything out💜💜 incredible job Evelynnn🥰 you’ve been inspiring me and bringing me joy and laughter for years👑
I faced a fear last week that I have been avoiding for yrs and my first reaction was wow! See? I didn’t burst into flames. It opened up a hope in me, that the things I want are not just dreams but are attainable. That’s so exciting. 😊. I plan on facing more stuff I avoid in the near future so I can just get to the other side of it and on with my life.
This was so good. I am just stepping into to the self-employed chapter of my life and it's crazy how many tasks float around in my head but never get done 😂😭 it's easy to get overwhelmed. And having 4 different notebooks probably isn't helping buuuuut...yeah. Just have to keep working towards getting my days a little more organized. I love the "themed week/days" idea!!
I love this. I know it seems mean to be glad to see someone else struggling because I've been struggling with my own productivity. 😐 Thank you for your vulnerability! Know that you are not alone!
I lowkey think I have ADHD too and the idea of themes is actually one I'm going to try next week! You hit the nail on the head about worrying and wanting to work on 1,001 things on your to-do list that you wind up getting nothing done
Yes! I definitely have ADHD & I’m stealing this.
Ur transparency on ur moods/feelings is refreshing. Normalize feelings! It’s ok to just wanna lay in the bed & do nothing all day. Just not for multiple days. Love ya Ev 💕
Hey Evelyn...I want you to know you aren't alone in how you feel. In the other video you made, you asked if anyone else has felt the particular way you've been feeling the past seven months. I definitely have. Not having a name for it makes it feel worse sometimes. It's isolating, overwhelming, soul crushing...I'm so sorry you've been experiencing it. Wish we were real friends so I could let you vent, cry or throw my arms around you. I have been following your channel for years now and my heart breaks knowing the difficulty it probably is posting this stuff and seeing older versions of yourself that you may not recognize in this moment. Feelings right now are rough, but don't lose hope. Your art and your mind has changed the way I've viewed my own. You've inspired me and I love how easily you embrace your zany humor and honest representation of yourself. I've thought these things for awhile and I thought, I'm sure it wouldn't hurt for her to know. You've got someone praying for you and supporting you EVEN IF you don't get out of bed or eat too much or too little or feel like a stranger when you look in the mirror. You are still worthy despite what it may feel like or despite how much work you've put out there. Try to journal if you can, if you aren't already. There's insightful stuff in this season if you can try not to numb yourself away from it. Love you internet cousin
The way this struggle is sooooo normal. Having ADHD and cptsd has been a undercover blessing, it’s helped me understand the importance of simplifying shit. Cause who got the time to run through all these ideas.
This was so entertaining, relatable, and insightful all in one video! 👏🏾
This is so relatable Evelyn. I have also tried to outwit my brain and habits by coming up with a better system. The only result was many random notes in many random places. I agree that 2-3 things per day, to completion, is much more manageable. I just decided to move from written blog posts to a little text and audio recordings (not a podcast) to take back some time and energy AND still make the thing.
Honestly, I don't think I've ever related this hard to anything on youtube. Like...I FELT this. Personally, I just decided to stop trying to move mountains all the time. I, too, have a terrible habit of jumping back and forth between tasks and I think that that is my biggest problem tbh. The TODO list never gets smaller, in fact its getting bigger because of the things that life and capitalism throw on your plate, so its always overwhelming and you can only sit with that for so long before you just throw in the towel for a while and end up doing nothing at all.
I've been experimenting with trying to focus on one task at a time, defining a clear end-point, however suboptimal it might seem to my perfectionistic brain and once that marker is hit, STOP and move on. That has resulted in probably one of the most productive weeks I've had in MONTHS. The infinite TODO list actually started getting shorter. I think it's a trick that your mind plays on you when it suggests that you won't be satisfied if you don't get everything juuussst right. But tbh, once it's done and that fact registers in your brain...you just sort of move on lol. Like I can spend a long time trying to decide what to eat but if I just force myself to eat something, anything, I'm good. The meal didn't need to be perfect or ideal or whatever. I really was JUST hungry. That's all.
I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE INSPIRED GIRL IM DOING THIS SHIT NEXT WEEK
I needed to Buckle down on writing my novel (which includes admitting to myself that I am fucking writing one 😭) and Writing Wednesdays sounds absolutely beautiful
I set out to wash my dishes while watching this. I ended up cleaning the counter and the microwave. Thanks for spending time with me cousin ❤
Even though this was from May, I still found it motivational, so thank you! I'm working on comics and illustrations right now, and trying to come up with some holiday printable content for patreon, but I DEFINITELY do the FOMO thing where I feel pulled in a dozen directions at once and then just end up doing nothing. It's frustrating, to say the least. Add a dash of mental illness in the mix and woo boy, we have a party!
It sounds like you jumping from one task to the other is subconscious self-sabotage.
When I find it difficult to finish tasks, it’s often because I fear the judgement others may have or I may have of my work. And so, I don’t finish the stuff, because then no one can judge me!
The key is to recognise that, and then remind myself that what I produce is not a measure of my worth, and not even my ability because I can always learn and continue to improve. And then continuing to soothe myself with that knowledge, and then I start finishing things.
I basically spent the entire summer up till now staring at my computer for 8 hrs every work day, doing barely anything. Ish just piling up and me not caring or my brain sounding alarms but the body just giving up. This after spending the past years of my life being the best possible at my job, and getting a promotion. Took a while, but I figured out that I hated my job. After a couple days of waking up and thinking of unaliving myself, I decided it was time to look for a new job. I got the new job and now I have a pep in my step. I am so excited for the new chapter in my life...until the next mental slump I guess. 🤷🏽♀️
Good for you!!! I’ve felt this in the past and it’s ultra rough. Congrats on your new role and that pep in your step!
I love this. I have the same issues. I have a 9-5er which I do from home. But I have a lot of other interests and often find myself distracted and spinning my wheels. I haven’t made it all the way thru the video yet, but I love the theme-day idea!
Being in the bed hit different when you’ve been unproductive! Lmao
Something about hearing you say “you can realistically only get 3 things done in a day” freed me 🙌🏾
This was very helpful! I’ll need to watch it again… and again to have it sink in but this is definitely me. I have learned to try to do a couple tasks a day, I’m home bound mostly and disabled, so I find myself sometimes wondering what about a lazy day to keep recharged instead of pushing myself to the point that my body and mind insist on daysssss off. I really like your “money Monday’s” etc. I need to figure out what days I need and then also schedule a lazy day without guilt. Okay, this disabled person is going to go eat Bon Bon’s now like everyone thinks … not really but I had to throw it there. Thank YOU 🙏
I feel this incredibly hard 🥹🥹🥹
perfect timing for this video 🥲 thank you
i think even watching you go on that journey gave me the mental larity and motivation to plan my own tasks (for the day - but I'll work upto a week)
appreciate!
LOVE you Evelyn!!! You always make me laugh, please don't give up, you inspire me so much
Best quote and I 100% needed to hear this: "Realistically, you can only do maybe 3 things in a day...but because of the society we live in where its go, go, go, hustle, hustle, hustle hard...I be forgetting that" LIKE YES. ME TOO.
Chile, this is a good idea. I'm not self-employed, but I have problems with burnout in my field. I don't always prioritize things appropriately because I am LITERALLY trying to do EVERYTHING everyday. Exercise everyday. Get x amount of work done every day. Read everyday. Meditate every day. Write everyday. Engage with others everyday. Tis not feasible. I really like this approach of chunking things together, and I might try that myself. Keep on going girl, you're awesome!
I’m not diagnosed, but I’m pretty convinced that I have ADHD I’ve been trying to figure out ways to get through school work/errands with out feeling like I’m sinking. So I jump from doing an hour of hw, to loading laundry, to doing another hour of that same assignment, to taking a dance break, etc just to give my brain a change so it doesn’t feel trapped . it’s helped a bit but sometimes I’ll get caught up in one for too long. I’ve never heard of this themed week approach, it made so much sense. I personally just need to discipline myself to not jump on the next idea I have in my head, and save it for a later date. Being able to translate this mindset into my creative ventures has me going THROUGH IT. Especially when executing a project so many other ideas pop up at once. But I really like this approach, rather than trying to set a time for everything in the day. This was an amazing video, a realistic representation of what it’s like of having intentions of getting things done, but it not always working out that way. If you’re reading this, push to be better but give yourself grace when you mess up, you’re in the midst of changing , you’re going to mess up along the way.♥️
It was helpful, illuminating, and eye opening. All three ah dem!😧🤯😊
These vlogs have given new life to my Fridays, I so look forward to them! Loving the topics you're discussing, they always feel so applicable to where I'm at 🙌🏾💙
My project manager, director of operations, strategic planning heart did leaps of joy throughout this entire video. YES to creating a plan!! YES to learning by doing!! YES to assessing what did and did not work after implementing the plan!! and YES to deciding when you'd continue the things that worked!! The key to productivity is discovering YOUR groove and rhythm, making *realistic* promises to yourself (2-3 tasks per day MAX), and then keeping those promises. Proud of you for the discoveries you made, Evelyn. It's a success if ya ask me. 😉
idk why but these vlogs from the void offer such a new perspective,, like apart from that they're class in themselves, the "late" release makes this universal phenomenon of "slump" (whatever concrete (un)diagnosed thing might be lying underneath individually) so palpable; just like the immense pressure, the extra admin, organising work that self employed ppl are tasked with - thank you Evelyn!
I get you! I’ve put off so much, and I love this idea!
Evelyn, you always post something that is so relevant. Your vulnerability is so beautiful and inspiring. I’m actually going to try theming a week or so out of a the month after this and see how it works for me. Thank you for sharing cousin, we’re right here with you!
Thank you for being so transparent! Girl, I haven’t worked on my script in so long that when I went on Final Draft the other day the layout looked different 🥴
"roll that beautiful bean footage"... yes! You are the absolute best!
I am so proud of you … the people and I mean me needs this … thank you 😊
The thing about work is that it never ends, there is always something to do so be easy on yourself 😊
This was so relatable I found myself finishing your sentences.
Hey yall! This will be relevant for all my menstruating peeps but Evelyn love this idea! I like to do something similar on the “summer” week of my moon cycle. The summer week is the week of ovulation / action and is most likely the period (hehe) of time where i will have the energy and will to get things done. Ive been loving living my life around my cycle bc its just that a cycle. I get to really rest and not feel bad about it & really honor how im feeling.
I really like the concept of the co-working space. I’ve found that some form of quality time with other people really does energize me, but I don’t always have the energy to make myself or my space presentable to invite someone over or go out in public.
I really love this idea & this vlogs, it's interesting watching you work through your creative thoughts
This is freaking genius and I'm stealing it. You're doing great ❤😊
This is literally me. I feel like being self employed is great but it’s so easy to have so many things that you want to do that you get so overwhelmed and get in the bed. I thought I was the only one. Glad to see someone else understands my struggle.
3min in this seems like a genius plan. Can't wait to see.
I love the themed week and how therapy thursday is a thing instead of being like 'I can recharge on the weekends' because it is part of the work. I also completely understand the phone-email thing. Sometimes I dream about getting one of those flip phones with GPS and data/wifi/hotspot so I'm only reachable by sms or call but can still use my giant old phone like it's an extremely small tablet computer. Oh and something I've found motivating workwise is to wear the less than comfortable work/outside clothes during say 9-5 and then changing into comfortable not work stuff because the discomfort is a constant reminder to foooocus
Against my better judgment, I bought an actual planner for 2023 (LMAO) … I love the Theme Idea, I’m thinking Money Monday, Therapy Tuesday, Writing Wednesday … no idea what theme to use for Thursday and ‘F*ck It Friday … wait. No, Figure It Out Friday. I guess it will depend on week by week basis. Love your channel. Subscribed. Clicked the bell. Bless you for being you.
I can relate!!! Personally, I’m “working on” a million things at once: debut novel (2 yrs in the making so far), a YT channel, a sports blog, a personal blog, on top of school, running a business while doing what I can to make a decent living when business is slow . Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by everything…and as someone with ADHD i can def relate!!
you're one of my favourite persons on 🌏, greatings from iran! xx
I love how you take the opportunity to involve your audience with your busy week- as a creative in design I find it challenging to also balance getting projects to the finish line but once they are there, baby!! Lol What makes you stand out to me, is the genuine ambience of you being you, and being able to resonate with your language. Id love to stay involved with your projects :) talk with you soon
You are the only channel that Makes me laugh out loud and that is not to say that I am laughing at your situation because if smack my lip ever went away I would cry it is my favorite. I totally understand not being able to be as productive at home as opposed to going to a job and maybe if you force yourself to go to a different location from your home every day like a library or a coffee shop etc. it could help. Now I know you’re recording stuff but maybe when you have the nitty-gritty sit down type on a keyboard stuff you go to a different location and maybe you even just walk around a pretty area weather permitting like one UA-camr I watch does. I wish you luck figuring this out.
I had this playing on the way to work this morning. I appreciate you more than you know Evelyn. From one ADHD’er to another ❤
Oh my word, I love Starpuppy! Also, love you, Evelyn 🇿🇦✊🏾💕
I think that’s going to work out wonderful for you, as part of my time management improvement for this year I made sure I set tasks (weekly shopping/laundry/extra errands/meal prep/deep cleaning/self care/gym/going out) for each day and rotate when needed. Yep that’s probably the most annoying thing about liking to write things down, sometimes you don’t have it all in 1 spot, I had to get better at just sticking to my 1 planner. Your therapy reenactment was hilarious, this video was illuminating.
11:03 this small segment just opened my mind up. I’ve been trying to write for so long and always end up stuck. This just changed my perspective so much
Mamacitaaaaa!!! This was so helpful for me! I work full time but I have a full time amt of work worth of creative projects I only randomly work on when I have energy and drive. Thank u internet cuz 💜💜💜
I like this idea, i will try it for myself… might require some trial and error because my executive function is in the trash buried under my mental health lol.
executive function in the trash 😭 keep on keeping on i hope we all figure this shit out ✊🏼
Directly to my brain and heart Evelyn.
love this! it's not easy to be vulnerable and articulate (let alone identify) what you're struggling with
YOU SPOKE TO MY BRAIN !! Directly !!!!!! Oh my goodness 🤯 my girl who KNOWSSS me knew to send this to me first thing Saturday morning. I think it’s a “blessing & a curse” being a creative. Our brains always bring forward new ideas etc. I’m going to do this, I’m going to make 2 priorities. I have a 7 month old so challenge accepted. I’ll figure out how I want to approach it this week and Vlog my progress next week. LOVE THIS VIDEO!
I just wanted to say I always love your videos and you always inspire me to change something about how i'm living at the moment. thanks for being here and i love seeing your videos again
Love the realness here!! Honest vulnerability and uncertainty. Thank you for sharing what you are trying out! feeling oogity boogity indeed.
Thank you … I can’t even express how much this will help me get future me in order 🤗
gurl its giving relatable. love to see you get through it babes
I LOVE how honest you are!❤
I love and am uplifted and motivated by this type of video, please keep making them while you can!
Sooooo 0:15 - 1:45 is, no exaggeration, *LITERALLY* me!
I even had a full-on panic attack this past June because of this. Thankfully I was able to reel myself in (honestly, I had quite a bit of help) Someone suggested that I should set systems and have my workstation ready for whatever time I felt inspired to actually get to work and it's kinda sorta very much helped me.
Hearing you talk about it genuinely helped me feel not so alone, so thank you! I'm rooting for all of us lol 🥰