Wow this explains a family member’s behavior exactly! It’s like they are constantly keeping score with any interaction they have with people. They’ll accuse me of perceived slights when I don’t cave to what they want, I’m like “No, I have my own life and I’m busy, I don’t have the time to sit around and think of ways to screw you over” 🤦♀️
Hypervigilance and paranoia run hand in hand for people with NPD !!! They are always on high alert or looking for threats ! Took me awhile to figure this out, and now it all make sense
You should be proud of yourself for confronting the issue & sharing what your learning with others. I really appreciate the wisdom.. let me tell you, I NEED IT
Thanks for this. I work in a charity shop with good people. Today I needed to call a guy out on something he'd done wrong and he held his hand up and apologised. No excuses, no "I'm sorry but blah blah". It was like a breath of fresh air after dealing with a family member who cannot own her wrongdoing, wraps her apology up in a huge word salad, twists everything around to play the victim and my head is spinning with trying to figure it all out. I think she is paranoid as she is on the defensive the whole time like she's afraid to say sorry and mean it in case she loses power.
My mom acts in rage. It’s truly sad! I feel her pain. I’m praying for her! Thank you for sharing your story. GOD bless you abundantly in JESUS’ holy name. Thank you, LORD JESUS in advance! Praise THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY!🙏🏽
The information that you’re giving us about Narcism is extremely valuable! People diminish their quality of life questioning, second guessing and blaming “themselves” for the behavior of narcissists!
My ex narc he was paranoid all the time. He used to talk about his ex-wife. How when he was on the road he always thought that she was cheating on him with a friend. THen he started toward me at the end of our relationship. Being paranoid asking me where I was at all the time!
I do that too, but not to hurt people with. I learn what I can about a room because I used to be so innocent I would trust anybody. It got me hurt enough times that now I just sit back quietly and watch. Often times there's only one person in the room that I am actually interested in being friends with.
Thanks Lee. Perhaps the narcissist and the survivor share that paranoia, but for different reasons and some of the same reasons. For instance, hypervigilant bc of the PTSD or looking over our shoulder from stalking or hoovering. The defensiveness when my boundaries are violated, I can only stay calm so long b4 I raise my voice. (Not rage out but often society considers a raised angry voice the "shame on you for that" even tho boundaries were violated. My team of coaches n therapist teach me these vagus nerve exercises to calm the FFFF hyper sensitivity. It sucks bro. But what is cool is that we're all human beings just tryin 2 be the healthiest people we can be and we as humans, share lots in common. Personality disorder or survivors or the Neuro typical. I'd like to believe we all share these parallels and similarities, only in different expression and reason. Peace brother.
Serious question. If god was going to get involved, wouldn’t he like, stop narcs from abusing others? Because that’s how more narcs are created- through the abuse cycle. Just saying… he either is not involved or he has a weird way of selecting priorities.
My ex had an affair, she is very toxic. Diagnosed bipolar but she definitely has some other mental health issues. Well her mom actually told me to breakup with her daughter. This was two years before the affair. I feel stupid for not taking her advice, the mom was only looking out for me.
My dad had passed but I’m pretty sure he had NPD. But he was paranoid and delusional. I wonder if the delusions were his NPD or some other mental illness. They were bonkers but based in reality and paranoia. Like- when I was 15 he accused me of stealing a diamond ring out of his room and switching the diamond for a CZ. When I was 12 he accused me and my sisters of being in a gang. Lemme clarify- this was 1992 and grunge was in. We all wore flannels all the time and he said we were in a “flannel shirt gang” 🤦🏻♀️ these delusions started after my mom sued him for custody because of our abuse claims. And they were always geared to make us look bad. But he 100% believed this stuff.
The quality of people in general i lower and lower so i think its ok not to expose everything about yourself to anyone. Maybe im paranoid to but i would say its common sense.
I know a woman that is a total narcissist. I posted a Happy Birthday post on her Facebook page,the next day I didn't see the post.I checked my activity log and found the post. She hid it to where only she could see it. She even thanked me on the post that only she could see! WTF??? Who or why would she hide a simple innocent Happy Birthday post from? Strange!
My brother is believed to have paranoid narcissism, coupled with major anger issues. He often accuses those around him of talking about him or going "in his space". He lives with family because someone got a restraining order against him, so he was kicked out of his previous place. I wonder if it'll come down to the police being called because he hurts someone.
The paranoia side of *the paranoid-schizoid position* (Melanie Klein Object Relations theory) is described as an issue where one's personal aggression is disowned or fragmented. In the P-S position, one's aggression gets acted out impulsively, and that disables the ability to predict other people's aggression. So intuitively one just assumes others' have same level & risk of spontaneous acted out aggression. Ergo that's why there's paranoia, vigilance and preparing for any potential attack. There's no mental models to assess potential threat of others. The schizoid side of P-S position is splitting, where one is all good (GOD) and the other is all bad; or vice versa.
Oh... apologies if I come across as hard to read, it's a combination of chinese culture & lack of facial microexpressions. it's not that I'm plotting, I've just been trained to always be face aware and face saving. Keeping up with face saving puts me in a regular state of strategy, observing and analysis.
I would honestly like to talk to you in private, like ask you a few questions: How much aware you were of hurting other people with your narcissistic behaviours Are there moments when you can't control narcissistic impulses (which are sometimes described as compulsive) How would you rate the results of your therapy These below may be harder but there are no bad answers. There's only curiousity behind it and these can only be true or false. No good or bad. Or maybe you could find these interesting for introspection. Did you gain capacity for empathy and compassion or the way you are currently is a mathematical calculation to not behave in the narcissistic way because it doesn't pay off in human to human interactions Do you feel like there will be benefits of overcoming you NPD like the feeling of connection with other person (of which I know having an empathy is necessary for it)
Additionally, I researched that a spiritual portal opens and can be accessed easier (by demons/ evil spirits) during childhood trauma oppose to adulthood. Spiritual portals are real and exist and can be accessed through trauma. When an evil entity enters the portal to your spirit/soul as a result will drain the energy of the host and the host will feel like they are empty (body present but not in control of self). That is why its important to make sure you don't let anybody in your circle or personal space because their energy WILL affect you. Someone said in comments that they are a narc because of genetics. That is not true. Narcs are developed mostly through childhood trauma. When a person reaches 25 years or older I believe that the spiritual portal will be harder to open up oppose to a child. I observed that people I encounter that have good health childhood upbringings are more confident and are not controlling of other people. There is more observed however I won't go to deep. The ELITE and CERTAIN people know about spiritual PORTALS!! Everything starts with intentions/a thought.
What If he's NOT a narc (only I dx him) but has many traits and we are purely toxic together. I'm a rebel, WON'T back down if I know I'm right. Of course it's not helping us go forward IF that could happen. What if I've been wrong for two years? But HE refuses an eval. And I refused to stay. Does it really matter if I have a DX for him? His toxicity alone is harmful, treat it the same, run, without looking back? Love bombing left and right, paying all my bills. We still have a 2 joint accounts. with auto deposit. But he's doing the legwork, knows I despise billing and finances. Menial tasks!!!! Ughhhh!
That's sad you walk around and feel that way... So let's say you can't find anything to hold against them/ use against them and the person doesn't fear you so all that silly yelling flaring and beating on your chest doesn't work either what's next retreat?
Thank you for being so transparent and vulnerable with your audience.
you’re welcome
Wow this explains a family member’s behavior exactly! It’s like they are constantly keeping score with any interaction they have with people. They’ll accuse me of perceived slights when I don’t cave to what they want, I’m like “No, I have my own life and I’m busy, I don’t have the time to sit around and think of ways to screw you over” 🤦♀️
That is incredibly sad, and explains my ex completely. I'm grateful for your insight. I just wish I had found it sooner.
Glad it was helpful!
Thanks for helping me thru a battlefield of narcissistic people 👋
you’re welcome
Your honesty is a gem…. Your helping millions of people
I appreciate it
Hypervigilance and paranoia run hand in hand for people with NPD !!! They are always on high alert or looking for threats ! Took me awhile to figure this out, and now it all make sense
💯💯
You should be proud of yourself for confronting the issue & sharing what your learning with others. I really appreciate the wisdom.. let me tell you, I NEED IT
I appreciate that!
Thanks for this. I work in a charity shop with good people. Today I needed to call a guy out on something he'd done wrong and he held his hand up and apologised. No excuses, no "I'm sorry but blah blah". It was like a breath of fresh air after dealing with a family member who cannot own her wrongdoing, wraps her apology up in a huge word salad, twists everything around to play the victim and my head is spinning with trying to figure it all out. I think she is paranoid as she is on the defensive the whole time like she's afraid to say sorry and mean it in case she loses power.
Low self esteem can make it hard to apologize so it’s not just a narc trait, but it def IS a narc trait
My mom acts in rage. It’s truly sad! I feel her pain. I’m praying for her! Thank you for sharing your story. GOD bless you abundantly in JESUS’ holy name. Thank you, LORD JESUS in advance! Praise THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY!🙏🏽
🙏🏽
The information that you’re giving us about Narcism is extremely valuable!
People diminish their quality of life questioning, second guessing and blaming “themselves” for the behavior of narcissists!
My ex narc he was paranoid all the time. He used to talk about his ex-wife. How when he was on the road he always thought that she was cheating on him with a friend. THen he started toward me at the end of our relationship. Being paranoid asking me where I was at all the time!
Sounds about right
That’s a clear sign THEY are cheating. narcs project. They’re also notorious for cheating.
I do that too, but not to hurt people with. I learn what I can about a room because I used to be so innocent I would trust anybody. It got me hurt enough times that now I just sit back quietly and watch. Often times there's only one person in the room that I am actually interested in being friends with.
Thanks Lee.
Perhaps the narcissist and the survivor share that paranoia, but for different reasons and some of the same reasons.
For instance, hypervigilant bc of the PTSD or looking over our shoulder from stalking or hoovering.
The defensiveness when my boundaries are violated, I can only stay calm so long b4 I raise my voice. (Not rage out but often society considers a raised angry voice the "shame on you for that" even tho boundaries were violated.
My team of coaches n therapist teach me these vagus nerve exercises to calm the FFFF hyper sensitivity.
It sucks bro.
But what is cool is that we're all human beings just tryin 2 be the healthiest people we can be and we as humans, share lots in common.
Personality disorder or survivors or the Neuro typical.
I'd like to believe we all share these parallels and similarities, only in different expression and reason.
Peace brother.
That's horrible 😞 I'm not going to let 1 bad apple ruin me
🍎
@@MentalHealness ur not an apple
Facts❤ God is definitely using you to help other's very informative information
Serious question. If god was going to get involved, wouldn’t he like, stop narcs from abusing others? Because that’s how more narcs are created- through the abuse cycle. Just saying… he either is not involved or he has a weird way of selecting priorities.
My ex narcissist always asked me what I was thinking? I knew he must have done something. I know what I was thinking....Sneeky
My ex had an affair, she is very toxic. Diagnosed bipolar but she definitely has some other mental health issues. Well her mom actually told me to breakup with her daughter. This was two years before the affair. I feel stupid for not taking her advice, the mom was only looking out for me.
My dad had passed but I’m pretty sure he had NPD. But he was paranoid and delusional. I wonder if the delusions were his NPD or some other mental illness. They were bonkers but based in reality and paranoia. Like- when I was 15 he accused me of stealing a diamond ring out of his room and switching the diamond for a CZ. When I was 12 he accused me and my sisters of being in a gang. Lemme clarify- this was 1992 and grunge was in. We all wore flannels all the time and he said we were in a “flannel shirt gang” 🤦🏻♀️ these delusions started after my mom sued him for custody because of our abuse claims. And they were always geared to make us look bad. But he 100% believed this stuff.
Why does “mind is playing tricks on me” by Geto Boys coming to mind???🤔🤔🤔
🧐
The quality of people in general i lower and lower so i think its ok not to expose everything about yourself to anyone. Maybe im paranoid to but i would say its common sense.
I know a woman that is a total narcissist. I posted a Happy Birthday post on her Facebook page,the next day I didn't see the post.I checked my activity log and found the post. She hid it to where only she could see it. She even thanked me on the post that only she could see! WTF??? Who or why would she hide a simple innocent Happy Birthday post from? Strange!
My brother is believed to have paranoid narcissism, coupled with major anger issues. He often accuses those around him of talking about him or going "in his space". He lives with family because someone got a restraining order against him, so he was kicked out of his previous place. I wonder if it'll come down to the police being called because he hurts someone.
The paranoia side of *the paranoid-schizoid position* (Melanie Klein Object Relations theory) is described as an issue where one's personal aggression is disowned or fragmented. In the P-S position, one's aggression gets acted out impulsively, and that disables the ability to predict other people's aggression. So intuitively one just assumes others' have same level & risk of spontaneous acted out aggression. Ergo that's why there's paranoia, vigilance and preparing for any potential attack. There's no mental models to assess potential threat of others.
The schizoid side of P-S position is splitting, where one is all good (GOD) and the other is all bad; or vice versa.
Oh... apologies if I come across as hard to read, it's a combination of chinese culture & lack of facial microexpressions. it's not that I'm plotting, I've just been trained to always be face aware and face saving. Keeping up with face saving puts me in a regular state of strategy, observing and analysis.
I would honestly like to talk to you in private, like ask you a few questions:
How much aware you were of hurting other people with your narcissistic behaviours
Are there moments when you can't control narcissistic impulses (which are sometimes described as compulsive)
How would you rate the results of your therapy
These below may be harder but there are no bad answers. There's only curiousity behind it and these can only be true or false. No good or bad. Or maybe you could find these interesting for introspection.
Did you gain capacity for empathy and compassion or the way you are currently is a mathematical calculation to not behave in the narcissistic way because it doesn't pay off in human to human interactions
Do you feel like there will be benefits of overcoming you NPD like the feeling of connection with other person (of which I know having an empathy is necessary for it)
Additionally, I researched that a spiritual portal opens and can be accessed easier (by demons/ evil spirits) during childhood trauma oppose to adulthood. Spiritual portals are real and exist and can be accessed through trauma. When an evil entity enters the portal to your spirit/soul as a result will drain the energy of the host and the host will feel like they are empty (body present but not in control of self). That is why its important to make sure you don't let anybody in your circle or personal space because their energy WILL affect you. Someone said in comments that they are a narc because of genetics. That is not true. Narcs are developed mostly through childhood trauma. When a person reaches 25 years or older I believe that the spiritual portal will be harder to open up oppose to a child. I observed that people I encounter that have good health childhood upbringings are more confident and are not controlling of other people. There is more observed however I won't go to deep. The ELITE and CERTAIN people know about spiritual PORTALS!! Everything starts with intentions/a thought.
What If he's NOT a narc (only I dx him) but has many traits and we are purely toxic together. I'm a rebel, WON'T back down if I know I'm right. Of course it's not helping us go forward IF that could happen. What if I've been wrong for two years? But HE refuses an eval. And I refused to stay.
Does it really matter if I have a DX for him? His toxicity alone is harmful, treat it the same, run, without looking back? Love bombing left and right, paying all my bills. We still have a 2 joint accounts. with auto deposit. But he's doing the legwork, knows I despise billing and finances. Menial tasks!!!! Ughhhh!
That's sad you walk around and feel that way... So let's say you can't find anything to hold against them/ use against them and the person doesn't fear you so all that silly yelling flaring and beating on your chest doesn't work either what's next retreat?