My opinion probably doesn't mean much, as a person that never really had any issues around my gender. That said, 1 thing I realized very young, was that the more time I focused on sex, dating, and things about my appearance, the less time I spent doing something awesome. My gender, and sex and all that, is really a tiny part of life, and you'll miss a ton if that is what you are always focused on. At some point in life, we ALL have to deal with being in a body that doesn't entirely suit us. Focus on being healthy. You sound like you are on the right path.
Accepting one's self is the hardest thing you can do if you've had a tough time with it. But it will prove to be the best thing you can do because firstly you don't have to try so hard to be something other than you are and secondly you can live in truth which is extremely freeing and it lifts a weight off your shoulders. My deepest respects to you.
I swear you are my doppelgänger! I am a detrans 41 yo woman and agree with you on all of this. I’ve heard myself say these exact things! Much love and appreciation, sister.
Maybe a bit but more so I meant our experiences and how we think about things. Doppelgänger isn’t the exact right word but it gets my feeling across. It really feels like parallel universe type shit.
I am just a post menopausal woman, and have had surgeries to remove 2 uterine tumors. Thanks God, successfully! Women do have unique and difficult challenges. We think, we ruminate, we have what to say. I count myself among those who admire you. We are blessed. We will live to count the butterflies.
I drank for 25 years. I'm 3 years sober after rehab! Life is tough. Now that I'm sober and I look at the state of the world I think, damn what happened? Now I know why I drank! the world is nuts!
Congrats on the sobriety, this world really has gone mad and turned all upside down. I think its just a swing from one side to another in the grand scheme of things. St least I hope it is. I don't want to swing back to the ultra conservative anti LGB days, but we gotta at least swing away from the current state of things 😂
Thank you for this message, absolutely agree that self-acceptance can never come from harming oneself. Wishing you continued courage and self-compassion 💜
"a letting go of everything I was trying to control" ❤️🙏🏻 ... for me that is my fears around what other people think of me, how they might judge me as not fulfilling my 'gender' role. Your posts are lifechanging for me. Thank you ❤
I was actually on track to become one before I desisted. I decided I couldn’t go into a field that mandated I accept transition as a mental health treatment.
I struggled a lot with gender dysphoria as a bi man who prefers men, and never really fit in with straight men. I explored gender, I tried make up and all sorts of stuff in my younger days. I was never happy with myself and just wanted to not be me. I was doing a lot of research into transitioning and was heavily considering it. Eventually, I learned to just love who I am. I don't need to become my idea of what is attractive. I don't need to switch genders because I don't fit in with the traditional male archetype. I just need to focus on being healthy, and a good person, and others will find me attractive. Now instead of feeling ashamed to be a man, I want bigger muscles, I have a several inch long beard, I want to be tougher and stronger. I want to utilize my natural strengths as a man. I still love flowers, I still love love stories, I still love cute animals, I still cry at emotional movies or for other people - all these things are traditionally feminine. But I'm a man, and I love those things, and that's ok. I'm me, and I'll do what I want to do. I feel like that's the cure for gender dysphoria. Not butchering your body to try and meet society's standards of who you should be. Gender is a social construct, right? Why should I need to harm myself to try and meet society's expectations? It's just as toxic and harmful as having an eating disorder due to toxic beauty standards. The solution to body dysphoria and eating disorders isn't to try and become as skinny as possible to fit your distorted mental view of yourself, it's to learn to love and accept yourself. Why is it any different for gender dysphoria? Thank you for your videos. Voices like your's are incredibly important. I've subscribed and can't wait to see what else you have to say.
Radical acceptance is it!! Our bodies exist in the natural world no matter how distressed we are about it or how hard we try to fight it. Even though I didn't have the same level of distress about my period, I felt very similarly about going off of birth control and letting my facial/body hair grow. All the grief is what we add to it, nature is just doing its thing. Thanks for always being so real.
For me it just got too difficult working against society and nature and I just had to go with what will make my life the easiest. I had been watching videos on stoicism as well which helped.
Im working on radical acceptance myself I just hate that I feel caught in the "passing" trap. I accept myself but I hate when people mistake me for mtf or a little boy. Strangers perceptions shouldnt matter to me but I hate that a mistake I made at 18 continues to haunt me.
Keep working on it. These 'mistakes' happens also outside of gender related issues, don't fixate on it. Radical acceptance means exactly that, that's why it can be hard sometimes, but it doesn't mean it's unachievable. Keep going!
I think it's really interesting, seeing this video as a cisgender woman. I can in no way say that I have been in your shoes, because I have not. Nevertheless, your outlook on this from your perspective is very insightful. I saw this video on how MtF transgender people have thinner cortical regions in the brain, which is a characteristic for the female brain; this evidence implies that transgender women's brains match with a female sex brain, and thus are literally in the "wrong body" (excuse my terminology, I in no way want to be ignorant, I'm just trying to put what I learned into words). Do you think that this has changed for you? Do you feel that something has changed? Or do you think that, from your standpoint, radical acceptance does not necessarily mean that you feel you are a certain gender, just that you have found yourself as one unit, and thus see yourself as whole? I hope I do not intrude. Thank you for your perspective. Have a nice day :)
That study you mentioned is very flawed and the only thing that can actually be taken from it is that homosexual men’s brains are a bit different. But that really still tells us nothing much. I don’t believe anyone is born in the wrong body or that gender identity is some innate thing. Hating any part of yourself is a learned behavior.
Watching this video was so powerful. Detransitioning is more like desisting, in my opinion. Not just because there was technically no transition in the first place, but also because until a person has completely accepted themselves and reality, they will always be vulnerable to re-identifying as trans or enabling others to do so. Also, I'm so happy that you accept your butchness in your detransition. I know a lot of people in the GC community don't like that (mostly conservatives and a few radfems) but as a feminine gay man, I find it extremely powerful and affirming (don't cancel me for using that word lol; I think it's appropriate in this context).
@MichelleyB-zk3eh Some conservatives don't like butchness because they don't like sex nonconformity as it deviates from sex roles and (in their minds) is usually an indicator of same-sex attraction which they are also opposed to much of the time. Radical feminists don't mind sex nonconformity and usually encourage it as is liberates women from rigid sex stereotypes/expectations, but dislike the idea of labeling stereotypically masculine traits in women as butch or masculine because they find that these labels further put women into boxes or emulate harmful patriarchal male behavior. I'm certainly much more sympathetic to the views of radical feminists as they pertain to butch lesbian identities, I just don't agree that this identity is itself misogynistic and harmful to women.
Put your faith and trust in Jesus Christ. He loves you with an everlasting love ❤ He will fill that emptiness you feel inside of you , with His presence, grace , forgiveness and true love. He set me free from a 27 year heroin and methadone addiction and from homosexuality. I encourage you , and anyone reading my comment, to repent and seek Jesus with all your heart whilst He may be found , because tomorrow is not promised for you or for me . God bless you ❤✝️🙏🕊🌹🤗❤❤❤
I'm so happy I found your channel. It's very entertaining to hear what you have to say. No overdone editing, useless rambles to make time or clickbait nonsense. Feels so raw, I love it 🩷 🩵
"I will not get behind this idea that accepting yourself means to harm yourself". Exactly this.
Say it, Carol! Everyone needs to hear this nowadays!
My opinion probably doesn't mean much, as a person that never really had any issues around my gender. That said, 1 thing I realized very young, was that the more time I focused on sex, dating, and things about my appearance, the less time I spent doing something awesome. My gender, and sex and all that, is really a tiny part of life, and you'll miss a ton if that is what you are always focused on. At some point in life, we ALL have to deal with being in a body that doesn't entirely suit us. Focus on being healthy. You sound like you are on the right path.
Rumination over your body is definitely a key issue in "gender dysphoria" . I agree with you, get out and do things outside your own self.
Accepting one's self is the hardest thing you can do if you've had a tough time with it. But it will prove to be the best thing you can do because firstly you don't have to try so hard to be something other than you are and secondly you can live in truth which is extremely freeing and it lifts a weight off your shoulders. My deepest respects to you.
I swear you are my doppelgänger! I am a detrans 41 yo woman and agree with you on all of this. I’ve heard myself say these exact things! Much love and appreciation, sister.
Do we also look alike?
Maybe a bit but more so I meant our experiences and how we think about things. Doppelgänger isn’t the exact right word but it gets my feeling across. It really feels like parallel universe type shit.
“RADICAL SELF ACCEPTANCE” 👏👏👏
You’re always a pleasure to listen to Carol ❤
I am just a post menopausal woman, and have had surgeries to remove 2 uterine tumors. Thanks God, successfully! Women do have unique and difficult challenges. We think, we ruminate, we have what to say. I count myself among those who admire you. We are blessed. We will live to count the butterflies.
I drank for 25 years. I'm 3 years sober after rehab! Life is tough. Now that I'm sober and I look at the state of the world I think, damn what happened? Now I know why I drank! the world is nuts!
Congrats on the sobriety, this world really has gone mad and turned all upside down. I think its just a swing from one side to another in the grand scheme of things. St least I hope it is. I don't want to swing back to the ultra conservative anti LGB days, but we gotta at least swing away from the current state of things 😂
You are smart, well-spoken and you nail it. You are a beautiful human being. Thank you.
Thank you for this message, absolutely agree that self-acceptance can never come from harming oneself. Wishing you continued courage and self-compassion 💜
"a letting go of everything I was trying to control" ❤️🙏🏻 ... for me that is my fears around what other people think of me, how they might judge me as not fulfilling my 'gender' role.
Your posts are lifechanging for me. Thank you ❤
Yes! On so many levels.
You are wise beyond your years. You are such a caring, thoughtful person. Have you ever thought about becoming a mental health counselor?
I was actually on track to become one before I desisted. I decided I couldn’t go into a field that mandated I accept transition as a mental health treatment.
I struggled a lot with gender dysphoria as a bi man who prefers men, and never really fit in with straight men. I explored gender, I tried make up and all sorts of stuff in my younger days. I was never happy with myself and just wanted to not be me. I was doing a lot of research into transitioning and was heavily considering it. Eventually, I learned to just love who I am. I don't need to become my idea of what is attractive. I don't need to switch genders because I don't fit in with the traditional male archetype. I just need to focus on being healthy, and a good person, and others will find me attractive. Now instead of feeling ashamed to be a man, I want bigger muscles, I have a several inch long beard, I want to be tougher and stronger. I want to utilize my natural strengths as a man. I still love flowers, I still love love stories, I still love cute animals, I still cry at emotional movies or for other people - all these things are traditionally feminine. But I'm a man, and I love those things, and that's ok. I'm me, and I'll do what I want to do. I feel like that's the cure for gender dysphoria. Not butchering your body to try and meet society's standards of who you should be. Gender is a social construct, right? Why should I need to harm myself to try and meet society's expectations? It's just as toxic and harmful as having an eating disorder due to toxic beauty standards. The solution to body dysphoria and eating disorders isn't to try and become as skinny as possible to fit your distorted mental view of yourself, it's to learn to love and accept yourself. Why is it any different for gender dysphoria?
Thank you for your videos. Voices like your's are incredibly important. I've subscribed and can't wait to see what else you have to say.
Radical acceptance!!! ❤
Your videos have been so helpful.
You are really great! Thanks :)
Thanks for the insight you bring from your struggles.
Now the magic trick is getting more people to listen before they make the same mistakes.
Radical acceptance is it!! Our bodies exist in the natural world no matter how distressed we are about it or how hard we try to fight it. Even though I didn't have the same level of distress about my period, I felt very similarly about going off of birth control and letting my facial/body hair grow. All the grief is what we add to it, nature is just doing its thing. Thanks for always being so real.
This is a wonderful message of self acceptance which takes a huge amount of courage. ❤❤
Beautifully said, lots of wisdom ❤
So beautiful. Real.
Thank you for sharing. I think your way of looking at this makes a ton of sense.
Beautifully said
You are always so eloquent❤🙏
Thank you for speaking truthfully and down to earth!
Thank you for shating your struggle. Wishing you all the best on your journey. Stay strong!
You are a very smart and observant lady (I hope it's ok to call you that, I mean no disrespect) and I wish you genuinely all the best on your journey
This is so good 👏🏽👏🏽 Thanks so much for sharing
The last few words are so powerful ❤
For me it just got too difficult working against society and nature and I just had to go with what will make my life the easiest. I had been watching videos on stoicism as well which helped.
New subscriber. Wishing you well. 😸
Im working on radical acceptance myself I just hate that I feel caught in the "passing" trap. I accept myself but I hate when people mistake me for mtf or a little boy. Strangers perceptions shouldnt matter to me but I hate that a mistake I made at 18 continues to haunt me.
It’s not easy but it’s possible to slowly let go of how others see us.
Keep working on it. These 'mistakes' happens also outside of gender related issues, don't fixate on it. Radical acceptance means exactly that, that's why it can be hard sometimes, but it doesn't mean it's unachievable. Keep going!
I think it's really interesting, seeing this video as a cisgender woman. I can in no way say that I have been in your shoes, because I have not. Nevertheless, your outlook on this from your perspective is very insightful. I saw this video on how MtF transgender people have thinner cortical regions in the brain, which is a characteristic for the female brain; this evidence implies that transgender women's brains match with a female sex brain, and thus are literally in the "wrong body" (excuse my terminology, I in no way want to be ignorant, I'm just trying to put what I learned into words). Do you think that this has changed for you? Do you feel that something has changed? Or do you think that, from your standpoint, radical acceptance does not necessarily mean that you feel you are a certain gender, just that you have found yourself as one unit, and thus see yourself as whole? I hope I do not intrude. Thank you for your perspective. Have a nice day :)
That study you mentioned is very flawed and the only thing that can actually be taken from it is that homosexual men’s brains are a bit different. But that really still tells us nothing much.
I don’t believe anyone is born in the wrong body or that gender identity is some innate thing. Hating any part of yourself is a learned behavior.
Dude. Ditto. (“dude” as in the California slang meaning)
Watching this video was so powerful. Detransitioning is more like desisting, in my opinion. Not just because there was technically no transition in the first place, but also because until a person has completely accepted themselves and reality, they will always be vulnerable to re-identifying as trans or enabling others to do so. Also, I'm so happy that you accept your butchness in your detransition. I know a lot of people in the GC community don't like that (mostly conservatives and a few radfems) but as a feminine gay man, I find it extremely powerful and affirming (don't cancel me for using that word lol; I think it's appropriate in this context).
To clarify, did you just say conservatives and " radfems" don't like butchness?
@MichelleyB-zk3eh Some conservatives don't like butchness because they don't like sex nonconformity as it deviates from sex roles and (in their minds) is usually an indicator of same-sex attraction which they are also opposed to much of the time. Radical feminists don't mind sex nonconformity and usually encourage it as is liberates women from rigid sex stereotypes/expectations, but dislike the idea of labeling stereotypically masculine traits in women as butch or masculine because they find that these labels further put women into boxes or emulate harmful patriarchal male behavior. I'm certainly much more sympathetic to the views of radical feminists as they pertain to butch lesbian identities, I just don't agree that this identity is itself misogynistic and harmful to women.
I struggle with this so much😢
Put your faith and trust in Jesus Christ.
He loves you with an everlasting love ❤
He will fill that emptiness you feel inside of you , with His presence, grace , forgiveness and true love.
He set me free from a 27 year heroin and methadone addiction and from homosexuality.
I encourage you , and anyone reading my comment, to repent and seek Jesus with all your heart whilst He may be found , because tomorrow is not promised for you or for me .
God bless you ❤✝️🙏🕊🌹🤗❤❤❤
No thanks, I worship the sun. The true creator of all.
I'm so happy I found your channel. It's very entertaining to hear what you have to say. No overdone editing, useless rambles to make time or clickbait nonsense. Feels so raw, I love it 🩷 🩵