The Secrets That Narcissists FEAR That You Know
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- Опубліковано 27 бер 2023
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Narcissists are masters of disguise. They hide their true selves from the world and often from those closest to them. In this video, there are a few things that they fear more than anything else, and knowing these secrets can help you protect yourself from them.
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🎓Rebecca Zung is an attorney who has been recognized as one of the Top 1% of attorneys in the country having recognized as a Best Lawyer by U.S. News and is AV rated by Martindale Hubbell. She is also the bestselling author of 2 books, Negotiate Like You MATTER (foreword by Robert Shapiro) and Breaking Free: A Step by Step Divorce Guide.
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The commentary and opinions are for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice. You should contact an attorney in your state to obtain legal advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.
• The Secrets That Narci...
• The Secrets That Narci...
Do you want to know more things that narcissists do not want you to know? Join me in my free webinar where I offer tips and tricks. Reserve your seat here. icanslay.com
I'll see you all there!
Totally
I removed my work ID card to be less gaslighted.
Cell phones should be banned on the job. Poor management letting these lazy narcs win.
You fight back at work you will never win. Very poor mangement. They stop but then they restart.
They accuse you of what they are actually doing
for sure
totally
This information is so helpful because, I have been in a relationship with one for the last 4 yrs
Yessssss they do , they never have courage
Yeah my mother would say I was doing adult things at a very very young age. I didn't know what those words meant but I had to be whatever bad thing she was doing
1. They go through your stuff when you are not watching, and they are gathering information
2. They hate being alone, act all tough
3. They are constantly looking for ways to make themselves looking smarter than they are. They are controlling, putting others down, and they will lie
4. They watch you to see how they are supposed to act, see what you are up to
5. They hate themselves, and they hate you
6. They are way more afraid of you than you are of them
Mine kept telling me that I was pinning his ears against the wall. That he didn't like being questioned about anything. His excuse for treating me bad because he was in a relationship with me. And for constantly lying to me was to avoid confrontation. I've asked him why he treated everyone else better than he treated me his response was that he wasn't in a relationship with them. That's messed up. We are no longer together. I'm more at peace now. I've learned a lot from your videos Rebecca and I truly appreciate you for helping all of us who went through this. When I started calling him out on his behaviour, lies, mental abuse, infidelity and cheating on me with other women. He didn't like it that I held him accountable for his actions. He went into a fit of rage. As I started researching more about different narcissist and their behaviours, it was evident that I was dealing with an evil being and felt unsafe around him. He has said some things that sent out a lot of red flags. For example: wanting to rent a boat to go fishing on the ocean. I told him no! His response was that changes everything. The warning feeling I felt that he was going to push me overboard so that I would be fed to the sharks. And make up a lie about what happened to me. I am so glad that I listened to my gut feeling, friends, family, being educated from your video's and from other resources. Thank you❤🙏
It's unsettling the things we find out
I'm going though everything right now. It's insane!
They fear you and their current suppliers discovering the truth of their past and how many people they've slept with.
Their favorite thing is denial and deflecting
TOTALLY!!!! It’s unbelievable how creepy they are
Exposing them takes a really long time and it will feel like you are losing, until you have them cornered.
Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/
They want to appear smarter than they are...Totally!
Totally!
I'm not afraid of them. I don't care any longer
One thing I said to my past narcissist, “it’s like you’re two different people and one I love and the other I cannot stand!” He said “cannot stand?” I said YES, cannot stand. I could not believe I said it, it’s not my personality whatsoever. But, I felt it SO strongly.
One of my favorite things to do is go to one of their flying monkeys with the pretense that I'm about to share something I never want the narcissist know about, knowing that the flying monkey will be eager to give them the info BECAUSE they think I don't want it to get to the narcissist, and for that reason the info I'm sharing is actually EXACTLY what I want the narcissist to hear.
Wow , what a good strategy! I’m going to use it , thx😀
Great tactic!
Awesome!!! I love your plan! 👍💙🩵🤣🩵💙👍
I call it flying monky mail. You never really need to talk to them, their friends will gossip.
WE "TOTALLY" CAN & DOOOOO WIN!! This IS the ATTITUDE WE ALL NEED TO HAVE WHEN SLAYING THESE NARCS!!!
Stay strong! ❤
my abuser literally wrote me " i have no hidden agenda" after being called out for ghosting me and trying to come back lmao !!! im sure this will make everyone here lol now but wow. they are starting to watch narc videos online to learn the lingo & manipulate better. be careful survivors...and thank you Rebecca !!!!
Thanks for sharing your story! But I know you got this, stay strong out there!
🤣
Tbf the word "agenda" exists outside of narc abuse too
Frauds & they really belief that us Empaths are the Frauds, they really believe we’re fake, that our sincere personality doesn’t exist! ✨
You have empathy maybe. But claiming you are an empath is the same as calling someone with narc traits a narcissistic. The reality is, you're both human.
This is true. They are pissed off at the concept of anyone having any empathy, decency, and being honest and caring. Even after finding out they are Narcissist . There is science behind this, but there is a spiritual battke going on. These people have been compromised and are subjected to at least 8 dark spirits in high places- just like the Bible teaches.
Jesus tells us that unless we forgive the Father will NOT FORGIVE US. MATHEW 6: 14, 15
They are cut off from repentence and forgiveness. God says he will give them over to their reprobate mind.
Unless they break free of the fear and victim gig- they are eternally in hot water.
@@Wherethereisnodarknessno it isn't.
Yes they keep secrets and lie!
❤️💯
Yeah! Keep Slaying! ❤💯
Totally
For sure!
Just when I think I know everything about narcissists, another lightbulb gets switched on with a different perspective.
Here's the irony I never see anyone mention ...
A narcissist is absolutely unhealthily obsessed with their target.
Victims are usually described as being obsessed because of trauma bonding, but the amount of time a narcissist has to spend on a victim in order to turn them into their supply, compared to a well adjusted relationship, is so out of proportion it's mindboggling.
They do things I could never be bothered to do.
My narc came up to me when my sciatica was very, very painful and said " God is punishing you because your are a liar!". He is actually the biggest liar of all!
I listen for the words/phrases/ideas they repeat a lot because that is what they struggle with. Liars talk a lot about the importance of truth.
Totally...some call themselves simply "curious" ..but there is always some evil agenda. Totally uncertain
TOTALLY with several narcissists that I know!
#1. They snoop through your stuff when you're not watching.
#2. They don't want to be alone.
#3. They're always looking for way to make them appear smarter than they are.
#4. They watch you - for personal reasons.
#5. They hate themselves (and you.) They hate themselves more.
#6. They are more afraid of you than you are of them.
Total bullshit that they are more afraid. They are not.
Thanks
The hostility just below the surface is very unnerving
My husband is always so angry…
True 👍
My observation coming off of a 12 year relationship with my narcissist girlfriend: I feel these types need to talk about themselves constantly to remind themselves how amazing they are in their own delusional world. It's almost like giving themselves a boost of "confidence" with whomever they come in contact with. They need to hear their own voices. I think narcissists are sometimes worse than Bipolar types. Narcissists are demons, personally. My God, to inflict emotional pain on someone who has invested so much love and belief in you, to betray them...yeah, that has to be demonic. A narcissists frustration is that they cannot defeat an Empath. Hurt them (me) yes, but no defeat.🤜💥🤛
Keep up the good work Rebecca!❤
Yeah why do they hate you when they constantly say how much they love you
I absolutely have to deal with one. It's horrible to be treated so badly.
Watch these videos and empower yourself. It
They never get caught which is really frustrating!
It wouldnt matter they will still deny everything even if you screen shot their cheating conversaations and plaster it in their faces they will come up with a very fast plausable explanation as to why it couldnt have been them.
Yeah they do in a matter of time no one gets away with anything facts
I like how my narc studies the subject first then questions me afterwards....I finally caught on to what he was doing
They’re probably afraid of all this information that’s on the internet about narcissists 🙏
They’re studying it to use for better manipulation-I know from experience unfortunately 🛡️ up!
I don't know where to turn, I'm trying to build my own case because he has made false police reports and now I have to prove my innocence.. but how when nobody understands how I know what I know, the months of abuse and questioning absolutely EVERYTHING.. was I CRAZY.. I know I wasn't but he almost had me talked into taking my own life.. I just want to prove IM NOT all these things and I just want my freedom.
They will do anything to you to make you look crazy be careful
No one knows for sure what caused a child to become a narcissist. Yes, some were abused physically, mentally or emotionally or neglected but just as many were treated as a golden child and spoiled, pampered, and told that they were the best for doing nothing and that their shit didn't stink and they believed it to the point that they internalized it for a lifetime.
My sister exactly!!!!
Does your sister by any chance have the first name Elizabeth?lol
+1 on being a Golden Child as a catalyst.
Can you describe why parent treat their child that way?
It's more than helpful to go over this again and again to keep things like this in mind among other things
This is my husband of six years. What a huge mistake I have made. I fell for it all. I need to take better care of myself so that I can get stronger for the battle. You just threw me a lifeline. Very thankful, scared and empowered. I will delve deeper into your resources.
So spot on! TOTALLY! I separated from my narcissist 15 years ago and the drama is still going on. I'm a lawyer so took some precautions instinctively early on, but if I knew what a narcissist was back then I would have done a lot more. Divorce Nisi is finally in sight. Wish I could have seen your videos a decade ago.
Care to share what points you like most about my video?❤
for sure@@RebeccaZungEsq
I'm ready to shine!
You got this!
Totally Agree 💪🏼But Once Freedom Is yours ..,Then Comes Peace & Joy🎉🎉
Freedom is so close for me. I cannot wait 😊😊😊 Peace and Joy are mine.
THAT is the TRUTH!!! 🙌
It's very difficult if you have children with them though. You're going to know about everything.
Win? Idk maybe winning is working on yourself by figuring out why you attract and are attracted to these types of personalities
All the 12 step program goes along with this knowledge of narssistic issues.
Keep doing what they're doing. What they don't know? Choose to ignore? Or they think they're invincible? The choices they make will determine where they go. Immortality is the indefinite continuation of a person’s existence, even after death. ..Hell awaits them. The final punishment. Thank you for video. I'm thriving & a strong survivor. Its been an experience
TOTALLY ! This is all so totally familiar. It's as though they have a narcissist's "to-do list" and are checking off each item one by one. I have even been able to predict and prepare for some of their dirty tricks by watching your videos. Forewarned is forearmed. Going no contact is the best thing I have ever done. Years of their sadistic abuse almost totally destroyed me. I wound up in the cardiac care unit of the local hospital and am disabled with multiple serious debilitating medical conditions. The smear campaign and flying monkeys were especially hurtful. I lived in fear 24/7, and my physical and emotional health were almost completely destroyed. I felt as though the whole world had turned against me. It was like being savaged by a pack of demonic creatures from hell. I agree with you that the covert narcissist is the most destructive of all. I have maintained total no contact for almost two and a half years and, just this month, feel as though I am beginning to climb out of that deep, black hole I have been living in. One week ago, the head flying monkey called me to excitedly report that the queen covert narcissist called to ask about me and "would love nothing more than for the three of us to have lunch together. " I was very proud of myself. Instead of totally falling apart or saying something sarcastic, I stayed calm and said " That's nice, but I will pass, thank you. You two have a good time." I still have a lot of healing to do, but I have come a very long way on my journey to overcome years of narcissistic abuse. If I can do it, anyone can. Your videos contain a goldmine of tips to deal with these evil, sadistic creatures. God bless you and Thank you for extending a lifeline to those of us who desperately need it. I am sending love and prayers for my fellow survivors of narcissistic abuse. Hang in there guys and gals. You CAN do this !!! 🙏💜🩵😇🩵💜🙏
Yes, you are so right. It is so strange. They do this yet they seem to have confidence. It seems like such a waste of time.
Be cautious always! And stay strong out there! 💪🏼
Let's protect ourselves but show mercy on these lost souls and not darken our hearts by holding on to bitterness. Living happy without resentment is the best answer to the d.
All you've said are all true, they are mentally sick. Praying for them, thank you for educating everyone. God bless us all. You're wonderfully and a great person. I admire you Mam.
A favorite phrase from my narcissistic coworker when she's trying to deny ever saying something is, "Aaaactually, what I SAID was..." I can't tell you how many times I've heard that phrase come out of the office across the hall when this coworker has been confronted about something she said.
Watch me, track me, holler “HELLOÕ if i get outta sight ; Ohhhhhhhh thank you- help me so much
Totally! For sure! Win! It’s been 4 1/2 years since I got out and I’ve gotten stronger and These uploads help me so much, thank you ❤️ I try to ignore my ex’s text messages when I don’t need to reply or don’t need to reply yet but then he starts on our 14 year old daughter and it’s so upsetting to see that. It makes it so much harder to stay strong 😭😭 I don’t know what to do, my daughter doesn’t talk or see he dad much now but when he starts on her she bites even when I try so hard to explain to her she needs to just step away from it and ignore it. How can I help her? At 14 it’s so hard 😔
My 32 year old daughter has one and her's and mine are in a battle
Thanks for telling us their dirty little secrets that no one will tell us. No one in the family would tell me that my mother was saying bad things about me to my other family members. Then when she threw me in a mental hospital, no one came to visit me to help me get out!
YOU are not alone.
We are together...and I promise you that they will reap what they sowed.
@@steveconnor89 same ❤
That’s awful 😞 ❤ I hope ur healing ❤️🩹
@@Inkbkank.2029 yes n spreading the message to make the planet narc free I wish you do the same... Next Gen will not face what I faced
@@Inkbkank.2029 Thank you so much for your empathy. It helps me to know when someone cares.
You, Rebecca, have got to be a Narcissists worst nightmare.
Devil is in fits over all this TRUTH !
Anytime, you would like a securuty team, I'm sure we can all come together. I'm sure your husband has your back - but if he ever needs a lil back up ! You all got it !
These lil demon-filled treats are on a losing team to begin with.
Prayer teams, Let it rip !
God will not be mocked !
God bless & protect you and yours !
Gratefully,
W
Totally ! Going thru stuff all the time … and taking any cash / jewelry to hock etc … just like living with a crack head ( worse - mine is a “ Christian “ !! ) - Also just takes anything of mine he want- just to have it and destroy it - uses expensive carving knives to open cans , when the can opener is in front of him . Never cleaned anything, but once a year he sprays ammonia on new electric stove and wood floor to strip the finish ( “ what was I supposed to do ? I had to clean it “???)…has been told 100 times what to use to clean, which is under sink . He went out and BOUGHT ammonia !
I'm sorry arm yourself and be careful
He hates thats i dont cheat 😂 like SHE DOESN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG DAMMIT😂😂😂😂
The narcissist always shows their entitlement! Ask them what do I get other than supplying your demands. My wife can never answer this question. She ignores the question completely.
Yep. I know it I've seen it. I've lived it!
He's going to all my stuff and rearrange all things inside the house and pretending he's just cleaning appearing and smart
Mine does that very thing i used to know where everything in the house was now i dont know where anything is and he dont know what he put where not only that theres no respect for any of my things dont care what he ruins and things are missing even an indoor webcam just poof gone! But he makes sure there are others around so he can have someone to blame even this one time there was no one but him and me and i woke up with paint on my dead mothers very large painting handed down to me and yet he still swears he didnt put paint on it, but i know it was not me so it had to be him but to this day still denys it!
LOL my husband overheard my conversation with my doctor. My doctor said the medication he prescribed could cause irritability. My husband has been telling everyone THATs my problem and their all really worried about me 😂😂😂😂
My mother and my ex husband, both narcissists, claim that they have IQ’s of 152 😱 I never noticed they are geniuses except for hurting others.
Thanks for sharing your story! Stay strong! You're stronger than them!
TOTALLY! And had to stay quiet the whole time! These patterns are all the same! Crazy!
Extremely thankful for all the help through out these menny years 😊!!!
Totally on all 6!!!
Stay strong over there! 💪
Every video I've watched !!! And I've been watching for many years!!! I have 43 years of real life experience
you are really intelligent and the se lectures and or video's educated way beyond the classroom. Good work too.
Thank you!!
This is so on point 💯
AWESOME! Stay strong over there! 💪
31:13 Great videos, Rebecca. 👍🏻
One idea that occurred to me is for someone who has never taken on one of these beasts and prevailed is to perhaps partner up with someone; that is to use the buddy system, maybe even groups of three. And these would be like secret agents the narcissist doesn’t even know exist, like friends in remote places completely outside the narc’s circle.
That’s a technique I just came up with kind of spontaneously in my war with this narc.
Yeah yeah THAT! We should ALL go seek nnore of these types in our lives!
Better yet send in a complete super victom super supplémentaire!
GENIUS !!!
It's not our fault and we are not to be blamed by their actions. It's truly sad that they relish in hurting other's to feed their ego so they can be center of attention and placed upon a pedestal. My ex's favourite song was by Dr. Hook "Everybody Loves Me"
Lol to the last line. They Are So Vain.
Totally 💯 wow my phone my purse my car everything gone thru my bedroom 😭 😭for sure !
Check this out - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop Keep slaying!
She told me to act normal the other day.
😂
If you know what I've been through in my life, you would say to yourself he's pretty cool for everything he's been through.
Or they buy the allegiances of the children and have them do that dirty work!
Totally. There are other things with money nobody talks about.
I think more of the song Brilliant Disguise by Bruce Springsteen. "Is that you baby or just a brilliant disguise?"
I thought i had fear based byt when u said the last i felt " im actually not that, i sense resilence " i think i sense fear...but not absence of courage!!!😊thanks coach
Thank you! For all that you do for us, your gracious support and unending time giving us the best that you got to help us in this difficult journey in life dealing with the most insidious toxic people.
Totally!! All very true. And yes...they love to mirror othe other people in their lives, who are not narcissists
Rebecca so spot on, I was on a business trip and she went through all of my personal files, including my mom's preneed contract! Sick!
Thank you so much, I'm a soon to be an ex of a covert narcissist survivor.
Thank you for the Wisdom Rebecca.! ☺️
Totally ticking every box!! 👍❤️
Great video. After 52 years living with my brother in 2023 of this year one year after my mom's passing, ... I'm really discovering how much of a covert narcissist my brother really is! I'm in counseling for depression with a therapist and discovering a lot about myself and narcissistic personality.
Two years after my mom passed and Im finding the same with both of my siblings
same ( 2 narc siblings) when my mother passed… we barely talk now , live far from each other , no visits, no phone calls …
There is something about them and when their indented victims have animals, especially a large dog. It is like the animal in them is afraid of the actual animal that sees right through them or something. I guarantee this is a hint to survival with them, even though I don’t fully understand it yet.
Yep! I went through it with my mom and my cats. I truly believe she killed Opal. I think she did because when i was a kid i had a hamster that my dad got me. I picked that fastest one and turns out she was pregnant. She had 6 babies and i was so happy and tended to my pets. I came home after school and i didn't see the cage in the house. I asked her where my hamsters were. She told me they were in the garage. At that time in Texas it was in the 90s so a closed garbage was too hot. I went to the garage and there they all were; dead. I was 8 when the hampster thing happened and 22 when the cat thing happened.
@@Mysasser1 OH my gosh! What a sick and twisted thing to do. I am so sorry you had to endure a lifetime
of sadistic evil. God bless you for overcoming so many years of such horrible, demonic cruelty. You must be incredibly strong to have overcome all of that. May God send his most loving angels to watch over you and guide you to a long and happy life. 🙏💜😇💜🙏
@@caroleschachinger2593 thank you.
Thanks! New listener here! Love your material! We win by leaving them! 😀
Thank you so much for the information! So helpful!!
Thank you! ❤ Care to share what you like the most?
Its just overwhelming
FOR SURE, This is all so true from the Narc I had a relationship, this explains a lot. Especially when you mentioned "spending a lot of capital" to uphold there appearance and hid what ever securities inside of them.
Wizard Of OZ! Lol. A perfect description. Thank you.
I enjoy the way you conduct yourself in your videos. You do not "sugar" coat the truth. ⚡💯
Thank you! ❤
For sure, Totally, Spot on, Agree, Game over, Win
What the hell. The world is a damn playground, if you can see it that way.
They never do anything wrong
Sad reality! But you're stronger Robin! You got this!❤
ZERO ACCOUNTABILITY AND RESPOSABILITY.....
Mine liked to joke and just say he was “kinky” when in reality it was narcissism. He tried to get me to share my phone location with him so he would know where I was at all times. Tried to joke and say he was just kinky and liked to roleplay as a Dominant. I realized it was most likely so I would never run into him out with his other supplies and secret other relationships behind my back. He would be able to monitor my travels. It was to enable compartmentalization of his multiple lives. The fact that he tried to use kink as a camouflage tells me he is self aware and knows exactly what he is. I believe he was either a malignant narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath.
Thanks for sharing your story! Stay strong!
Hero or victim was description of my narc
Yes Rebecca totally 💯 it’s the worst and you always have to be careful with them.🙏❤️
Check this out - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop Keep slaying!
FOR......SURE!💯%
For sure I've been dealing with a narcissistic community of people for 4 yrs they cost me opportunity my stability my personal info money anything my peace of mind and my sanity I still get harass by narc that follow me where I go thank u and "For sure"
Thanks for sharing your story! Stay strong!
You are adorable Rebecca. Smart - Pretty - and so on point about Coverts. I love listening to you and hope to avoid getting addicted as I want the subject of Narcissists out of my head and life. Many thanks for what you do in educating and bringing comfort to people in pain. You are amazing - Thank you!
For sure!
"Totally"
These videos are life changing. I thought I was going crazy before. 😢. I’m super excited for this education. Wow. Thank you.
Amazing ❤ Thanks So Much!!!!!
Check this out - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop Keep slaying!
I’m ready!
Thank you Rebecca :)
I will check out the link you sent. 🤗😘
The covert narcissist I have dealt with often use the phrase "Jen(somebody's name) told/asked me that blah blah blah" when she wanted to ask someone personal. It sounded like she was not the one wants to know or gossiping. Right before she asked the person, of course she asked Jen(somebody) about that matter. So if Jen(somebody) doesn't know it, she would use her as the one wants to know. Like Rebecca explains in the video, it's so hard to explain the way the covert narcissist does, because it doesn't sound like bad. It's so subtle but you will know when you are in that situation.
Stay strong out there! 💪🏼
I love your videos! Thank you for all of your help and support. Getting over this has been a nightmare to get over. Like my brain feels like it has literally changed from this experience.
Love this channel so much. Hard to find info. on you tube about narc neighbors. I am struggling so much and don' t want to move. Have had my 2 beloved indoor outdoor cats lured into narcs home and stolen. Police do zero cause he is retired detective. Property line crap. Flying monkeys. Mk Ultra neighborhood. Not enough on You tube about narc neighbors. It is insanity.
Had the same type of issue for 3 years. It was absolute hell. Property line issue (lawyers) cost me $25K. Through that process, I learned my husband is a covert narcissist. Was like a double whammy. He actually kept it going for as long as it did. He enjoyed my frustrations. What a crazy life. Now, the neighbors suddenly shun me but they’ve continued speaking to him.
❤ Care to share what you like most about my video?🙏
Stay strong out there Julie you got this!❤❤❤
IM READY