I had a Skype session with Craig today that was one of the best investments in myself that I have made. Craig was able to help me understand the attachment styles of myself and my ex. Not a final answer, but a translation of a foreign language. Thank you Craig!
A month and a half into Craig Kenneth’s Channel and Luving Every single videos I encounter!! So knowledgeable, informative, calming of the soul and the humor he brings! What cannot you Luv about him!! I’m learning and understanding about Attachment Styles myself and wondering where I fall under. Thankful, Grateful and Truly Blessed! 💕🙏🏼😇
@A2Kaid well aren’t you just a bundle of positivity. Smh oh and important thing to remember, just because someone does miss you doesn’t mean they don’t want to get back together with you, either. The door swings both ways.
My avoidant ex will reach out and want me to chase him. I won't. Doesn't matter that he misses me, he cares about me, but what difference does it make when he always runs away and never is going to actually be available to a real relationship. The latest thing he did was my dad died from covid and he said he would come over and keep me company. He never showed up. He called 2 days later to apologise but I didn't answer the phone. I can't allow this person to continually hurt me.
@@alexandrachirila1917 yes he did. I've done no contact. Every once in a while he messages me. I hadn't heard from him in like 6 months and xmas he texted merry Xmas.
@@Miswhitness0520 I shouldn't be surprised by his actions. I gave him the chance to step up but I was pretty clear minded that he was going to default to his normal m.o. It's been 8 weeks since my dad passed. Grief is hard work. Being separated from family during these times is hard too. I happen to be in Australia and all my family is in the States. I have a bad feeling my next trip back will be the most emotional of all my trips back "home". The last time I left the US things were not good and they got much worse. The whole thing sucks. In Australia we can for the most part pretend like everything is normal except we can't leave the country.
@@kristinaldridge1712 they say avoidants won’t be there to support you through tough times , sorry if this comment offends . But I’ve experienced this plenty of times . We don’t want to be dismissed . Like their parents dismissed them .
My avoidant ex texted with a "sorry to bother you text" and included some link that he thought would "interest" me. I replied with "who is this". He replied with his name, apologized again. I never replied. If he thought he was ever going to get an opportunity to ghost me again, he was wrong. I turned the tables and took my power back. I refuse to play those games 🎮
Good for you Kimberlin! Mine reached out a week ago after mercilessly blocking me and my sister and friends from all socials . I responded in a friendly yet reserved manner. I told her in just 3 minutes of our text exchange that it was great hearing from her and that I have to go.
I did this to my ex! I've send you something that I knew would help him with a health issue he has, so I really thought I was being nice to him. He didn't answer, and I don't mind that he didn't answer, but I really hope he took that into consideration. Am I an avoidant asshole?
@@carolinaollive did you blow him off before or give him mixed messages? Because if so then yes, sorry; you don't get to pick and choose when to be in someone's life life if you actually haven't maintained a connection. In my case it's like, you don't get to treat me like a good friend who is here for you when you haven't been a good friend to me.
@@KLFNYC Yes, I did blow him off... he blatantly called me a liar and I asked him to never talk to me again after that. Thank you for your honesty. I indeed am the avoidant asshole, and I didn't know.
@@carolinaollive I think I need more context...did you lie to him? And if you told him to never contact you again, then you contacted him, it's kinda too many mixed messages. Maybe he blocked you and never received it?
As a therapist, if you choose an avoidant, prepare for constant disappointment. You will do everything and carry most of the weight. If you are a woman, don't expect the avoidant man to lead out in anything. Truly, it's better to run as fast as you can. Find a healthier relationship. You deserve more.
I’m a man with an avoidant ex…. I tried everything but I gave up, she left me and came back three times. I got stronger each time. Now, I won’t go back because it’s hard with an avoidant woman…
@@joev7014 She just broke up, my Ex has avoidant style. Suddenly out of know where she started point small faults saying absurd reasons for breakup. And she broke up twice in 10days. Leavinf me hopeless as we were supposed to get married soon. Left me to die as i was later diagnosed with BPD. Too late i found videos like this till then i had already begged n pleaded and reached common friends which only made her super resentful towards me. The pain and agony is unbearable. Been in No contact from last 30days. Still struggling to forget her and trying to work on myself slowly. But sometimes the pain is too much to bear
@FurryNudez i dont wanted to give up, but i am diagnosed with Borderline and touch starvation so its better for me to give up and make myself better and secure. If she comes back then its bonus else i will be happy anyways.
and if the avoidant was a woman ? i keep doing all the effort and she came back again but then left. No explanations, just constant flaw finding, even though she said i love u many times!
Sometimes I realize i want my ex back just as much as I want onion rings. The problem is that i shouldn't have any of the two because they're not good for me. I always choose the onion ring because it's easier.
Not necessarily true. Besides breaking up with my gf because her anger issues, I broke up with her because my avoidant nature isn’t compatible with her anxious attachment style.
Same here. My ex could use sorry, looked genuinely guilty over lots of things - such as his work or other people. And his leaving text message was nice, supportive and friendly. He had been a gentleman for 15 months but I didn’t know what I was dealing with - the ‘space and freedom’ stuff when other couples I know are joined at the hip.
As I listen to videos about avoidants, I realize you have to bend for them. They can’t seem to make the change to adjust to affection, expressing feelings and be more communicative, so it’s left for everyone else. I never feel I can express myself. I always walk on eggshells shells. It isn’t a good life. How can they fix to NOT be so avoidant so we can meet in the middle? Feels pretty one sided and to me that makes me realize I cannot be with my ex.
I get random texts and I sent back civil and polite ones. It's been 5 months and I've already started dating. It was honestly easy to start dating because I realized she didn't give me much to miss, which was the problem.
My avoidant ex sent me a text a few days before Thanksgiving and said he had been thinking about me and wondered how I am. I told him he don’t want me or he wouldn’t have left me, twice and that I’m doing alright. That’s all it took to shut him down. Crickets after that. Ain’t nobody got time for an avoidant.
You might not have time for it, but myself, I am in love with one and I will put that work in if she were to come back so she can have the relationship she truly deserves
Maybe your ex left because he left overwhelmed and didn’t know how to properly communicate that. Since there is distance between you to, he’s feeling comfortable again. I’m an avoidant and I recently broke up with my ex but that was mainly due to her anger issues. I miss her but I feel a sense of relief since I no longer feel overwhelmed by her neediness. We did speak a few days after I broke up with her and agreed to do couples therapy. I don’t want to go back to her until I make progress with becoming less avoidant over time.
A few years ago I had a Skype session with Craig, and I’m just now realizing the depth of my ex’s avoidant disorder. And I’m relieved. I really am. Thanks for all you do Craig.
My shy, introverted, homebody avoidant left me for one of her local online gaming friends. We're in our mid-30's, he's a party frat boy in his 20's (she hates partying!). We were good, I asked about the future since it's been 4 years, she broke up the next day. This was in December, and it's been a month of NC. Our mutual friends seemingly got involved by calling her crazy and telling her to call me, which surely helped the situation. Anyway, this channel's been a godsend. I'm learning so much!
Realistically we need to just move on. Someone's next love is another person's one that got away. It's sad but even as a melancholic and nostalgic person I don't think of some relationships I had years ago. The only one I think about as "real" is the most recent breakup. I'm sure my ex who is a lot more social and approachable than me has a new person, even with the pandemic. She probably just sees our relationship for what it was, a growth opportunity and one she doesn't regret but one she has no interest in returning to. It's not nice but we're all living our own stories. In her head it makes perfect sense and will be the pathway to her eventual happiness.
That is truly insightful and definitely true fact. Your life is what YOU made it! Example! 6 months before breakup she backs off a little but says she has back pain under questioning. (Cos you care) No big deal? WRONG! As time goes by a pattern emerges she backs off further with excuses for being different today! EG "You ok babe? Your very quiet?.."I'm fine just my ????????S playing up!." (Said smilling) "I'll be ok!" So you move forward to compensate for distance. A little more attention and love! Why not? shes in pain? Bombshell inbound! The end is closing in without good communication you're doomed. Advice to all men and women. Match and mirror keep balance by ensuring the partner YOU choose also Choose YOU. Never settle for second place or second best all should be eaqual, keep improving yourself by seeing your flaws and work on them. Yes you should love. But EQUAL to the love you receive.... YOU have one life and only YOU control it. Live it and make it the best it can be. That requires action to keep improving yourself, your life isnt about others it's about YOU! KEEP STRONG AND MOVE FORWARD WITH YOUR LIFE!! Good luck people Much love to all........
My ex was the same . Her words never matched her actions . I made the mistake of taking her for her word. She would tell me she loves me but would at times give me the cheek when I reached for a kiss. Which never made sense to me. So just make sure you meet her in person more than you do text her..especially now. Cause she could just be texting you only for the validation and the ego stroke but might not even want to work things out with you. And might just be telling you nice things to keep you around. So always get in person and if you really want to know If she loves you like she claims .. try to get physical with her and if she rebuffs your advances then you know where you stand .
You are so right, but it's really not easy to handle this behaviour. His words are so practical that I can't believe he is the man I used to love 10 years
Avoidants be happy as shit when they dump their boyfriend or girlfriend randomly they always feel like that was the best decision for the both of you two until it sinks in decades later that maybe just maybe they could have handled things in a logical manner starting with basic communication which they don’t and won’t do they don’t give proper clarification hints the reason why the other person gets triggered you don’t have to just be anxious to get triggered by an avoidant they trigger everybody the only difference is a secure person will not deal with them and their behavior for too long vs the other attachment styles that will try longer because they don’t understand the avoidant a secure person will realize very quickly that something is off with them and wish them well
This put my anxiety at ease. The way you describe the avoidant fits my ex. Its been since Christmas eve since I've seen her. I miss her. But I'm focusing on myself and my kids. I reinventing myself with getting in shape n learning from these videos
I can’t even imagine having this attachment style… so sad, they deserve love and want love, but have no idea how… crushes me! I have an avoidant in my life, whom I love with all my heart and I believe he too loves me. after 2 years of Him being in my life, the hot/cold, in/out, no commitment and very little in person contact, has left me feeling emotionally drained.. just found your videos but I don’t think he’s willing to change and I need love too.
My avoidant ex was definitely leaving indirect hints with me short after we broke up. He was talking to a mutual friend of ours and said “another night sleeping alone” while standing near me. Of course he did it to get a reaction from me but I walked away before I did something I regretted.
I'm going through this now. We have been broken up for 15 months. She messages me almost every day. We are like best friends still without the romance. She rarely will come spend time with me but also hasn't let go. She will send me selfies and sometimes of our pets . We spent nine years together. I love her so much and I believe in us. As hard as it is I'll wait.
Sending you positive vibes. You sound like me. 9 years together. We were apart for 2 years. I saw him 3 times this year which is a start Keep working on yourself. Coach Ken will help. Also Dylan James has a beautiful UA-cam for self growth. Both channels helped me.
I was “separated” from an avoidant after a fight (she was a friend who liked me but I showed insecurity over other dudes and it ended in a fight) about 2 months ago. Not a single breadcrumb and she went dark on the one account she follows me with the DAY I sent my last text to her. As always, thanks for the tips.
After this video, I’m to assume, I had an avoidant by him breaking up via email, then at the end of the email, asked me to call him to talk. Ummmmmm… No, Thank You. No Contact. Blindsided and did not see the break up coming. Much Thanks for all your informative videos! 💕
Should it matter that an avoidant misses you? Isn't a relationship about connecting personally anyway? Is it worth the questions, soul searching , and heartbreak they put you through wondering what happened to what you thought you had togehter?
That's the most frustrating thing. You know when they miss you. But what are you supposed to do about it? It's like they won't allow the relationship to be repaired no matter what.
@@CoachCraigKenneth I think everything you all explained was exactly what an avoidant would do. My ex did all of them, he is even still friends with my mom on fb and will like posts that have me in them. My ex broke up with me a year ago and has never left me alone. Says he doesn’t have romantic feelings for me but loves me as a friend, hence my interest in whether they really love you or not. I had to finally cut it off because I was tired of having to push down my emotions for him. I know he is missing me and WILL reach out, I’m just done with feeling stuck. But you guys explained it all perfectly and I was laughing at the examples like yup, my ex did that!
@@no1zzle3 my ex been gone for 14 months. Avoidance. Im still friends with him fbook and his family. Ive isolated myself from all my friends. My life has improved, but I've not been on fboomk months at a time. I miss him everyday
She doesn’t miss me at all. And it hurts so bad. I don’t see how there could be so much love and then it’s just gone. And in a perfect relationship where she was so happy.
This is on point. My avoidant ex reached out today-exactly 2 months after the breakup. She reached out because a relative of mine passed. However she knew we weren’t close. She made a lot of mistakes during the breakup so she was scared I wouldn’t respond. Of course I did respond. Now she’s keeping it very light but I know she’s missing me. We were engaged, lived together and have a puppy together.
My indirect contact was me using his phone number at a dept store so he would get an email of the receipt showing what I was purchasing. Of course I paid for it but he got the receipt 🤣.
i feel like during our relationship my ex was more of the anxious type and i acted more avoidant, but the way the relationship drifted apart and the way she broke up with me seems very avoidant to me. she never told me that she felt unhappy towards the end of the relationship even when i asked her if everything is alright. she must have taken it all in and then just abruptly cut everything off, leaving me scratching my head how it went downhill so suddenly. we even planned on moving in together just a few months prior to the bu
Nice! Your videos have helped me a lot. I have been watching your videos since last year, and I must say that I have learned a lot from you. But it's true, I was dating an extremely avoidant for almost a year, then went on a 6-month break or so, was in no contact but he keeps on reaching out. It was an on-and-off communication. We started meeting each other again but realized that I probably I don't like him as much as before. But this video is so right and on point, they don't really make a big move, but showing you a hint of interest, just a little too little :) and for me, because of the constant help I get from these videos, I have learned to be in control of my attachment issues (Anxious Attached). I will continue watching your videos, and continue improving myself as well. Now, I am meeting a new person and will see how it goes. Thank You, Coaches! X
Its sad my guy friend was a avoident i liked him so much i was there for him. Are conection was so beautiful. But he just kept us at a distant. I think he just wasent serious and just love bombed me to see what he can get. Very sad i was inlove with him i still am but blocked me no feelings.
After a month of NC my avoidant started calling me through “No Called ID”. He called 4 times in a span of 24 hours. Although I picked up 2 out of the 4 calls, he didn’t say anything. I acted nonchalant about it. How do I know it was him? Although he blocked his phone ID, his phone number still showed in my phone records 🙊. I’m sure he has no idea that I can still see him number. In the mean time, I will remain in NC until he directly txt me or calls me.
We don't have any mutual friends, no social media connections. Only text. It's been 3 months and haven't heard from him. I don't think I will. He's been firm about his no commitment stance. 😭💔
My ex has never reached out but posted a picture of the two of us on FB about a year after the break-up. He is blocked but we have mutual friends who sent me the post.
My DA ex girlfriend after 7 months of dating broke up with me with no reason whatsoever. Her reason was ridicolous and it was just a excuse to leave. I tried to convince her not to do it but i never begged or anything. Finnally i told her if she doesnt want ton be with me she can leave. After 5 weeks of no contact she reached out to me without anything significant. I talk with her like with a buddy. Just few sentences a day. Its just a small talk. She never mentioned anything about us and what happenned. She reached oud to me for days in a row with good morning text. And my question is: what does she want from me???? I am so confused...
My avoidant , the one I broke up with … wrote a blogpost about our relationship.. summary: “she felt pressured, she felt she had to always be available, she felt that she could never make any mistakes” …basically it’s all my fault . Someone explain this ?
Do you have to ask them out when they reach out? My ex text me and I responded politely but didn't try to carry the conversation. I feel like she should be the one to say they want to meet up - if I ask, I will seem weak, especially if she says no.
From experience, the meeting or activity has to be their idea otherwise they have a pathetic excuse. Throw an idea out there with little expectations and if they’re interested they will ask you. Taadaa it’s their idea all the sudden.
Definitely ask them out when they reach out. Especially women. Even non-avoidant women will reach out hoping you will initiate something. Also, it keeps your intentions clear, and you remain direct and decisive with what you want. If they say no, then you know what they are willing to give and you can tell them you're only interested in romance, so they can get in touch when they are interested in the same thing. This way things are super clear, and you stand your ground for what you want. This is actually strong.
@@dwightschrute8141 it's been a year since the break up. We spoke over text about once a month, with her initiating 90 percent of the time. On two occasions I asked to see her, but her responses were very meh. She also text me once having a go at me for something which annoyed her 10 months prior which I thought was strange. She always liked everything I uploaded to FB. We last spoke in December, she said she wasn't in a good place so I told her I was always there if she needed someone to talk to, to which she thanked me - I also wished her a happy birthday a few days later. Since NY, we haven't spoke at all - she has stopped liking my stuff. I try not to stalk, but last time I did, it seems she is still single. I've been dating a few girls since the break up and have been working myself - got a new, well-paid job, I'm in better shape, got myself my first home, become vegetarian and I'm now in a band. I'm not going to reach out, sometimes I feel like I want to, other times I don't. She has my number if she wants to text me again. She might be put off as well, since she now knows I've moved cities, so the chances of us getting back together are now slimmer because of that.
Yeah same. She's right to if she's over it but she literally just went all 1984 on our relationship. There are no traces and no connections. It's for the best from her perspective but it's mad how connected some people can feel. With my ex once she was done she was done.
@@whatsthemattereu8139 man I have never felt a connection like a do with my ex. Broke nc after a month and got a cold response. My message was light hearted and nice. Some people can just move on seemingly without remorse. These are brutal learning experiences. If you feel so strongly about a connection what do you do? I'm trying to move forward and work on myself but she pops into my head daily and those thoughts drag you back down and leave you feeling lost again. Sigh..
@@grahamwalton8351 I don't know man. It's strange that they would react so cold. It makes no sense to me at all but one thing I've thought about is that in general, we're all not as nice as we seem. I think the ex knowing you doesn't feel obliged to keep up the social pretence of pleasantries. It's like you are of no value to me anymore so what do you expect me to do? I'm trying to understand it from a less brutal point of view and that the ex does what they have to do to get over it but that doesn't make sense to me. Surely once the romantic feelings are gone it would become a lot easier to be pleasant yet distant? That would equally be horrible to experience but least it wouldn't make it seem as clinically detached as it does now
@@whatsthemattereu8139 makes you wonder if the connection you feel is one sided? I can't believe that though there is noway something that strong is possible without 2 people actually feeling it. We went way too fast and we crashed. She wasn't ready and took the easy way out and ran. Sux but there's nothing I can say or do to bring her back now. Have to just keep working on myself and move forward. Man oh man though when we were together wowza! Want that connection again someday!
My avoidant guy blew me off for 2.5 months but reached out with a “hey hey” after he saw my IG story where a guy was sitting across from me at a restaurant. I responded hello. And then he said nothing. Wtf?
@@CoachCraigKenneth wow! Thanks for replying! I’m honored! ☺️. seriously, though, is it a game? Just to see if I’m still on the hook? Just to see if I would reply after he has been absent and probably looking around for other potential women?
@@Dana-oo9kp Don't confuse avoidant and cluster B manipulative behaviors. You responded yourself, it was an ego boost to see if you're still waiting on the shelf
@@MissSarahGM hi. Thanks for your input. While I’m not a psychologist, after having googled cluster b personality disorder, he doesn’t fit the bill . He’s got almost no affect and very low emotional frequency. He is a class A dismissive avoidant and also selfish in that he has low empathic outreach. But I’m not “entitled” to him loving me or behaving the way I want, so he is free to be as he wants to be and I know I have to choose for what’s right for me. He reached out to me yesterday. We had a nice but surface conversation over text. And I let him have the last text and dropped off, myself, as I was not inspired to reply.
@@Dana-oo9kp Hi, maybe he's a "simple" DA disconnected from his feelings. However, you are entitled to a response when he texts you. It is a common thing we see with narcissistic types to send a text and then disappear when you reply, "bait and switch". If you had a friendly text conversation, it's a beginning. Good move to not put a lot of efforts into carrying the convo. My DA is quite extreme, he finally replied to my text and seemed happy and interested for a few days, even double texted me and thanked me about the pictures I had sent. Just when he seemed to warm up, a couple of days later he stopped responding, he didn't even open the message. Very ambivalent. I know I should let it go but sometimes I feel like pursuing again and I know it's bad
I suspect my Avoident ex is watching my IG posts.... I accidentally unfriended him on fb...but dont want to post too much as I dont want to alleviate his anxiety.... he also needs to wonder how I am and what Im doing.... I need him to miss me.... 😒😒great video as always, guys!!
my DA reached out today to ask me how am i and when i replied i am fine and thanked him for asking.. he said thank you for everything(emotional), i asked for what? and he said for being patient to me.
My avoidant ex broke up with me the week before Christmas, by telephone. Expressing how not having enough respect to do it in person, she randomly showed up at my house to drop off a few bags of my stuff. She wasn’t even going to let me know she came by. I am in no contact now. She has an 8yr old whom she told she broke up with me, and being a good mom, she won’t have a guy in and out of her life. This is a tough pill to swallow, do I break no contact and reach out?
My avoidant started dating 2 months after the breakup. It's been six months of being in no contact and he's never tried reaching out. I really don't feel he ever cared for me.
So she hasn’t ended it, asked for space/break because she just can’t handle it rn, she has a lot going on in her life, passing of a good friend, she has health issues, her child has health issues, her grand father was in th hospital, and she had to put her dog down, she doesn’t treat me at all like she used to and when I ask what’s going on between us she doesn’t give any real responses
"My DA boyfriend went out to get me breakfast and texted a few hours later that he was "back with his wife". And for me not to call him anymore. We were living together for a year when he did this. He had left to see her before. Each time, it was so devastating that my friend had to keep me together so I wouldn't kill myself. The last time, he texted HER to bring his possessions to him so that he wouldn't have to even see me. He came back for a week, then left again. Each time he did this, he blocked me so,I couldn't call. It's been months 5 months and I'm still not healed up from The trauma 💔
I can’t see him ever reaching out. He literally blocked me while pregnant with his child while I had cancer. I can’t see him after these like 5-6 months being like hey in any form. The shame. The feeling like a jerk. Or him continuing the “ ur a horrible person” narrative will always stand in his way. I would have stopped talking to him sooner after I broke up with him but I stayed in contact for obvious reasons. He was a different person that last day so mean. Trying to force me to do things I kept saying I wasn’t comfortable with. Which wasn’t new news for him
I have struggled with myself before I know about attachment style and behaviour. After I know and eager to learn, I become calm and confident, I love myself and put my high values about the sucks feelings because the cycle never ended. I have to cut the sucks of the cycle. 🤣😂
Well i girl that i was dating, after a period of no contact reaches out to me asking a random question... i chat a little, and after a time e invite her to sing with a friend in a church that we were invited. She said that she was going to check her engagements and give me a return. She doens't make a return, and in the day she saids that she forgot (lie) but who knows nexts time.... i think this is a game...
What about an avoidant who is married but still reached out indirectly with his call card of his new job....why would a married DA reach out, he made up his mind to marry his now partner and it wasn’t me...why reach out after 7months?!? Nonsense!
What does it say/mean when she breaks the silence after a year and a half to wish me a happy birthday, asks me how I'm doing, I reply, she leaves me on read and goes right back to ignoring me for the next 2 months, all the while continuing to post a cute new selfie every other day? Other than to test me that is.
My ex has come up to me in public twice during no contact. Extremely angry and pissed off that I haven't contacted her. The second time she came up extremely angry and we started to talk for about 10 minutes and ended up a positive interaction. Thoughts?
What happens if you took away the only person they contact to remind you of him? I let go of a very long-term friend because they turned out not best for my personal growth and weren't who I thought they were. He doesn't have social media he is active on. He does have a FB account which I believe he is looking at me on it. He turns up in my People You May Know. No mutual friends either. He is avoidant attachment. Not severe but it's there. He's extremely stubborn. We haven't spoken since Feb 2021
After 2 months of the blast, he texted me that he wants to return my gifts and asks me to tell him my address.. I don't know why it matters to him.. he can throw them away..
Avoidants are like children who occasionally need to gorge themselves with sweets or are an empty tank which occasionally needs to be filled up. They crave closeness, consistancy care and love. All the naturing characteristics they did not receive in early childhood. Once they find a partner who is willing to share these emotions with them they absolutely gorge themselves, they fill up the tank until they feel sick ( literally) Their hunger has been satisfied but....this is not a normal everyday state to them they start to feel uncomfortable stifled and scared and have an urge to sabotaged the relationship. Its like getting on and off a crazy merry go round. Anyone who tries to maintain a decent long term relationship with an avoidant has to settle for inconsistant and infrequent 'quality ' time together. Has to be prepared to modify their love language on case it triggers them.....and do frequent disappearing acts to mimic their primary care giver from childhood. Who can do that ?. Attachment styles need to be included in the school curriculum.
What if they breadcrumbed you for a while and then said they didn’t want to get back with you? So you told them if they didn’t want to get back with you to never contact you again? Could they come back then?
Wow, what is the time line of when to just Give up & move on? It’s been 3 1/2 months for me now. He’s ask people about me but has not reached out himself. ?????!! Thanks
Hey Craig... 6 year relationship, she has had 0 friends since the beginning and believes her family is her friends. 7 months no contact. She blamed me at the end almost like villainizing me to reason why she needed to break up and asked me to not contact her to have space and heal. I have respected those wishes. The day after the breakup she purged any reminder of me, removed all my friends on social, all of our posts, and even wanted her belongings immediately. Can some avoidants take a long time to miss you?
You have to move on. It is really hard. It sucks. My ex was also 6 years. She broke up with me during our "5 year plan" talk. She used it trying to trap me in saying something that she thought we weren't compatible on (kids). She immediately said there's some stuff at your place I'm going to need back and here are your spare apartment keys. 3 weeks later I bring her stuff back (I had stuff being sent to her place so I waited until everything arrived so it would be one trip) and she hugged me, kissed me, flirted with me, stared at me, laughed at my jokes, allowed me to stay there longer than necessary and then absolutely nothing after that. Just have to move on. Do you really want to have to dance around or walk on eggshells hoping you don't say or do the wrong thing to push her away again?
Now in this case, is the avoidant person the one who initiated the breakup or the one who was dumped? Because if I was the one who got dumped, I’m not going to rekindle things unless they start. If I was the dumper I would initiate contacting if I want the other person back not the other way around.
My heart goes out to you ☹️ I’m engaged to an avoidant, and I can see his pain. I’ve learned to deal with a lot of his issues, but sometimes he hurts me so badly (not cheating or hitting, but emotionally absent) that I rethink why on earth I stay. But the truth is that I love him, and even though his parents did this to him, he is a wonderful man. Just very confusing. If I can offer some advice, please get help 🙏🏻 It breaks my heart to see an otherwise beautiful person self-sabotaging....and it hurts the people who love you and don’t understand you. Your friendships and romantic relationships will be much closer ❤️ Best wishes 💖💖
Can you please make a video about how to go no contact when your kids are bonded? Or with stepkids? My ex is a classic avoidant, he did everything you describe. I miss him a lot, but yesterday my phone rang and it was his 8 year old son, not him. We talked for 45 minutes, and his son wants to see me so badly.. we were together for a year, and I am the only other adult besides his biological parents who loved him. I know I mean a lot to him, no contact with both of them is hard.
She called me and wanted to vent and I let her. I called her back and she said she had company but she answered the phone and text messages. If I was her company I would feel a certain way about it.
I dident know what a avoident was i was with one for 2 years he asked me to be his girlfriend so i thought it was going to be a great expwrience. But he was hard to have a conection that flowed he would get close then need space. He got very touchy and very defensive.
I have an avoidant long distance ex. I did stop and see her while I was in town. I was cordial, never mention the break up, she did. I think I did well and got her off the subject. Now she is texting me about just kind of not important things. She is being sweet............and I have no idea what to do next. I know I love her but I am lost.
I had a Skype session with Craig today that was one of the best investments in myself that I have made. Craig was able to help me understand the attachment styles of myself and my ex. Not a final answer, but a translation of a foreign language. Thank you Craig!
Thank you!
@@CoachCraigKenneth Keep up the great work!
Hello dear how are you doing today...You can share your martial (relationship restorer) issues with the best relationship expert he once helped me
+ 2 3 4 8 1 0 2 6 8 9 5 7 0
A month and a half into Craig Kenneth’s Channel and Luving Every single videos I encounter!! So knowledgeable, informative, calming of the soul and the humor he brings! What cannot you Luv about him!! I’m learning and understanding about Attachment Styles myself and wondering where I fall under.
Thankful, Grateful and Truly Blessed! 💕🙏🏼😇
Important thing to remember just because someone misses you doesn't mean they want to get back together.
@A2Kaid - Your comment is the short and sweet summary of the whole essay I wrote upthread. Sigh.
Very true. Everything taken in context and in small steps.
@A2Kaid well aren’t you just a bundle of positivity. Smh oh and important thing to remember, just because someone does miss you doesn’t mean they don’t want to get back together with you, either. The door swings both ways.
@@grimmlock25 thanks for your input.
@@grimmlock25Someone's tRigGeReD.
Oh those poor avoidants, let us all adjust ourselves to their needs! Because ours don't matter.
Nobody said that. You sound super compassionate.
My avoidant ex will reach out and want me to chase him. I won't. Doesn't matter that he misses me, he cares about me, but what difference does it make when he always runs away and never is going to actually be available to a real relationship. The latest thing he did was my dad died from covid and he said he would come over and keep me company. He never showed up. He called 2 days later to apologise but I didn't answer the phone. I can't allow this person to continually hurt me.
did he initially break up with you? i am so sorry you went through this
@@alexandrachirila1917 yes he did. I've done no contact. Every once in a while he messages me. I hadn't heard from him in like 6 months and xmas he texted merry Xmas.
Wow, can’t even keep his word when you’re dealing with the death of your own father? That’s so wrong. May you find peace and healing in this time ❤️
@@Miswhitness0520 I shouldn't be surprised by his actions. I gave him the chance to step up but I was pretty clear minded that he was going to default to his normal m.o. It's been 8 weeks since my dad passed. Grief is hard work. Being separated from family during these times is hard too. I happen to be in Australia and all my family is in the States. I have a bad feeling my next trip back will be the most emotional of all my trips back "home". The last time I left the US things were not good and they got much worse. The whole thing sucks. In Australia we can for the most part pretend like everything is normal except we can't leave the country.
@@kristinaldridge1712 they say avoidants won’t be there to support you through tough times , sorry if this comment offends . But I’ve experienced this plenty of times . We don’t want to be dismissed . Like their parents dismissed them .
My avoidant ex texted with a "sorry to bother you text" and included some link that he thought would "interest" me. I replied with "who is this". He replied with his name, apologized again. I never replied. If he thought he was ever going to get an opportunity to ghost me again, he was wrong. I turned the tables and took my power back. I refuse to play those games 🎮
Good for you Kimberlin! Mine reached out a week ago after mercilessly blocking me and my sister and friends from all socials . I responded in a friendly yet reserved manner. I told her in just 3 minutes of our text exchange that it was great hearing from her and that I have to go.
I did this to my ex! I've send you something that I knew would help him with a health issue he has, so I really thought I was being nice to him. He didn't answer, and I don't mind that he didn't answer, but I really hope he took that into consideration. Am I an avoidant asshole?
@@carolinaollive did you blow him off before or give him mixed messages? Because if so then yes, sorry; you don't get to pick and choose when to be in someone's life life if you actually haven't maintained a connection. In my case it's like, you don't get to treat me like a good friend who is here for you when you haven't been a good friend to me.
@@KLFNYC Yes, I did blow him off... he blatantly called me a liar and I asked him to never talk to me again after that. Thank you for your honesty. I indeed am the avoidant asshole, and I didn't know.
@@carolinaollive I think I need more context...did you lie to him? And if you told him to never contact you again, then you contacted him, it's kinda too many mixed messages. Maybe he blocked you and never received it?
As a therapist, if you choose an avoidant, prepare for constant disappointment. You will do everything and carry most of the weight. If you are a woman, don't expect the avoidant man to lead out in anything. Truly, it's better to run as fast as you can. Find a healthier relationship. You deserve more.
I’m a man with an avoidant ex…. I tried everything but I gave up, she left me and came back three times. I got stronger each time. Now, I won’t go back because it’s hard with an avoidant woman…
@@joev7014
She just broke up, my Ex has avoidant style. Suddenly out of know where she started point small faults saying absurd reasons for breakup. And she broke up twice in 10days. Leavinf me hopeless as we were supposed to get married soon.
Left me to die as i was later diagnosed with BPD. Too late i found videos like this till then i had already begged n pleaded and reached common friends which only made her super resentful towards me.
The pain and agony is unbearable.
Been in No contact from last 30days. Still struggling to forget her and trying to work on myself slowly.
But sometimes the pain is too much to bear
@FurryNudez i dont wanted to give up, but i am diagnosed with Borderline and touch starvation so its better for me to give up and make myself better and secure. If she comes back then its bonus else i will be happy anyways.
Oh I had it for 16 years awful 😢
and if the avoidant was a woman ? i keep doing all the effort and she came back again but then left. No explanations, just constant flaw finding, even though she said i love u many times!
Sometimes I realize i want my ex back just as much as I want onion rings. The problem is that i shouldn't have any of the two because they're not good for me. I always choose the onion ring because it's easier.
I recommend you to a man who can help you manifest whoever you want to manifest within two-day ♥️♥️♥️
He was the person who helped me manifest back my ex three days ago with out delay 💯💯
Whtsaap him**
😂
Blop - That is the best explanation ever. My ex is exactly like an onion ring. Tempting but completely bad for me.
They never admit or acknowledge wrongdoings and such a immature behavior
Not necessarily true. Besides breaking up with my gf because her anger issues, I broke up with her because my avoidant nature isn’t compatible with her anxious attachment style.
Same here. My ex could use sorry, looked genuinely guilty over lots of things - such as his work or other people. And his leaving text message was nice, supportive and friendly.
He had been a gentleman for 15 months but I didn’t know what I was dealing with - the ‘space and freedom’ stuff when other couples I know are joined at the hip.
It had been 15 months together of miss you/where are you?/love you
True they don't accept
What's worse is someone being a spiteful asshole to someone who's experienced trauma and broken upbringings
Miss you so much Margaret! We all love you forever! Thanks for all the memories and years of knowledge and guidance! Rip 🕊️
Oh, no! I’m sorry to hear about Margaret. 🙏🏼 I just started watching CraigKenneth 2 weeks ago and had no idea. Thoughts and Prayers!
My avoidant reached out after 3 weeks. This advice works. Thank you. RIP Margret.
it's been 6 months, and she hasnt done it. will it ever happen?
As I listen to videos about avoidants, I realize you have to bend for them. They can’t seem to make the change to adjust to affection, expressing feelings and be more communicative, so it’s left for everyone else. I never feel I can express myself. I always walk on eggshells shells. It isn’t a good life. How can they fix to NOT be so avoidant so we can meet in the middle? Feels pretty one sided and to me that makes me realize I cannot be with my ex.
I completely understand
I get random texts and I sent back civil and polite ones. It's been 5 months and I've already started dating. It was honestly easy to start dating because I realized she didn't give me much to miss, which was the problem.
True
My avoidant ex sent me a text a few days before Thanksgiving and said he had been thinking about me and wondered how I am. I told him he don’t want me or he wouldn’t have left me, twice and that I’m doing alright. That’s all it took to shut him down. Crickets after that. Ain’t nobody got time for an avoidant.
You might not have time for it, but myself, I am in love with one and I will put that work in if she were to come back so she can have the relationship she truly deserves
@@byersmafia blue pill
Maybe your ex left because he left overwhelmed and didn’t know how to properly communicate that. Since there is distance between you to, he’s feeling comfortable again.
I’m an avoidant and I recently broke up with my ex but that was mainly due to her anger issues. I miss her but I feel a sense of relief since I no longer feel overwhelmed by her neediness. We did speak a few days after I broke up with her and agreed to do couples therapy. I don’t want to go back to her until I make progress with becoming less avoidant over time.
A few years ago I had a Skype session with Craig, and I’m just now realizing the depth of my ex’s avoidant disorder. And I’m relieved. I really am. Thanks for all you do Craig.
My ex is avoidant, I saw signs but I had no idea what they meant. I wish I found this channel while we were together.
I recommend you to a man who can help you manifest whoever you want to manifest within two-day ♥️♥️♥️
He was the person who helped me manifest back my ex three days ago with out delay 💯💯
Whtsaap him**
Same, dude.
Me too dude, how are you now? X
Few things: I’m podcasted on most major platforms, you can sign up for my newsletter on my website, and do those workbooks 30 minutes a day!
When they come back and emphasize they want to always be friends forever, what are we supposed to do? Hope that they change and want to get closer?
The first sign an avoidant misses you? She unblocks you on Facebook
My ask me for a friend request on Facebook
Lol truth
Or clicks like on ur post, ha
mine unblocked me on messenger. I’m just leaving it
So true
I love Margaret a lot. She still have abundance knowledge of relationships 😙😙😍
She is BRILLIANT
@@CoachCraigKenneth I wish she was my Grandma 😄🙏🏻
I love her too she is so awesome
@@mattykay7852 me too she is wise full of feminine energy where she listens and talk on the right time with low voice which is really beautiful
My shy, introverted, homebody avoidant left me for one of her local online gaming friends. We're in our mid-30's, he's a party frat boy in his 20's (she hates partying!). We were good, I asked about the future since it's been 4 years, she broke up the next day. This was in December, and it's been a month of NC. Our mutual friends seemingly got involved by calling her crazy and telling her to call me, which surely helped the situation. Anyway, this channel's been a godsend. I'm learning so much!
🙌 thank you
Any updates?
Realistically we need to just move on. Someone's next love is another person's one that got away. It's sad but even as a melancholic and nostalgic person I don't think of some relationships I had years ago. The only one I think about as "real" is the most recent breakup. I'm sure my ex who is a lot more social and approachable than me has a new person, even with the pandemic. She probably just sees our relationship for what it was, a growth opportunity and one she doesn't regret but one she has no interest in returning to. It's not nice but we're all living our own stories. In her head it makes perfect sense and will be the pathway to her eventual happiness.
I recommend you to a man who can help you manifest whoever you want to manifest within two-day ♥️♥️♥️
He was the person who helped me manifest back my ex three days ago with out delay 💯💯
Whtsaap him**
That is truly insightful and definitely true fact. Your life is what YOU made it! Example! 6 months before breakup she backs off a little but says she has back pain under questioning. (Cos you care) No big deal? WRONG! As time goes by a pattern emerges she backs off further with excuses for being different today! EG "You ok babe? Your very quiet?.."I'm fine just my ????????S playing up!." (Said smilling) "I'll be ok!"
So you move forward to compensate for distance. A little more attention and love! Why not? shes in pain? Bombshell inbound! The end is closing in without good communication you're doomed.
Advice to all men and women. Match and mirror keep balance by ensuring the partner YOU choose also Choose YOU. Never settle for second place or second best all should be eaqual, keep improving yourself by seeing your flaws and work on them. Yes you should love. But EQUAL to the love you receive.... YOU have one life and only YOU control it. Live it and make it the best it can be. That requires action to keep improving yourself, your life isnt about others it's about YOU!
KEEP STRONG AND MOVE FORWARD WITH YOUR LIFE!!
Good luck people
Much love to all........
Absolutely!
My moto to some all this up!!
One life!
One chance!
NO REHEARSALS.
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY
ENJOY IT!!
Please do not go through your grief alone. Find support in as many relatives and friends that really love you.
Coach Craige she called me a night ago at 1am crying saying she always wanted me only me but her actions still speak louder then her words.
My ex was the same . Her words never matched her actions . I made the mistake of taking her for her word. She would tell me she loves me but would at times give me the cheek when I reached for a kiss. Which never made sense to me. So just make sure you meet her in person more than you do text her..especially now. Cause she could just be texting you only for the validation and the ego stroke but might not even want to work things out with you. And might just be telling you nice things to keep you around. So always get in person and if you really want to know If she loves you like she claims .. try to get physical with her and if she rebuffs your advances then you know where you stand .
I'd tell her that right there. It is nice to hear those words but I need your actions to say the same thing.
You are so right, but it's really not easy to handle this behaviour. His words are so practical that I can't believe he is the man I used to love 10 years
No it’s not
Coach Victoria described my avoidant precisely. Growing up his needs were not met. He was mistreated and ignored.
Mine too!!
Avoidants be happy as shit when they dump their boyfriend or girlfriend randomly they always feel like that was the best decision for the both of you two until it sinks in decades later that maybe just maybe they could have handled things in a logical manner starting with basic communication which they don’t and won’t do they don’t give proper clarification hints the reason why the other person gets triggered you don’t have to just be anxious to get triggered by an avoidant they trigger everybody the only difference is a secure person will not deal with them and their behavior for too long vs the other attachment styles that will try longer because they don’t understand the avoidant a secure person will realize very quickly that something is off with them and wish them well
This put my anxiety at ease. The way you describe the avoidant fits my ex. Its been since Christmas eve since I've seen her. I miss her. But I'm focusing on myself and my kids. I reinventing myself with getting in shape n learning from these videos
Check out my Breakup Creative Healing Course! You can preview the material on my website
I can’t even imagine having this attachment style… so sad, they deserve love and want love, but have no idea how… crushes me! I have an avoidant in my life, whom I love with all my heart and I believe he too loves me. after 2 years of Him being in my life, the hot/cold, in/out, no commitment and very little in person contact, has left me feeling emotionally drained.. just found your videos but I don’t think he’s willing to change and I need love too.
Their victims are to pity, not them grow-ass adults still acting like entitled babies.
My avoidant ex was definitely leaving indirect hints with me short after we broke up. He was talking to a mutual friend of ours and said “another night sleeping alone” while standing near me. Of course he did it to get a reaction from me but I walked away before I did something I regretted.
Terrific information on avoidants. Thank you so much. It's hard to figure out avoidants but you make it easier .
+/"1/" (/"7/"5/"7/") 7/"0/"4-3/"5/"6/"4/''.....k
I'm going through this now. We have been broken up for 15 months. She messages me almost every day. We are like best friends still without the romance. She rarely will come spend time with me but also hasn't let go. She will send me selfies and sometimes of our pets . We spent nine years together. I love her so much and I believe in us. As hard as it is I'll wait.
Praying for you. Its ben 14 months for me. Nothing from him
@@ShannonThor. I'll pray for you too. I'm sorry you've heard nothing.
@@brettming9015 thank you
Sending you positive vibes. You sound like me. 9 years together. We were apart for 2 years. I saw him 3 times this year which is a start Keep working on yourself. Coach Ken will help. Also Dylan James has a beautiful UA-cam for self growth. Both channels helped me.
that’s just so unfair on you
I was “separated” from an avoidant after a fight (she was a friend who liked me but I showed insecurity over other dudes and it ended in a fight) about 2 months ago. Not a single breadcrumb and she went dark on the one account she follows me with the DAY I sent my last text to her. As always, thanks for the tips.
After this video, I’m to assume, I had an avoidant by him breaking up via email, then at the end of the email, asked me to call him to talk. Ummmmmm… No, Thank You. No Contact. Blindsided and did not see the break up coming. Much Thanks for all your informative videos! 💕
Should it matter that an avoidant misses you? Isn't a relationship about connecting personally anyway? Is it worth the questions, soul searching , and heartbreak they put you through wondering what happened to what you thought you had togehter?
I recommend you to a man who can help you manifest whoever you want to manifest within two-day ♥️♥️♥️
He was the person who helped me manifest back my ex three days ago with out delay 💯💯
Whtsaap him**
Whtz>app him.
That's the most frustrating thing. You know when they miss you. But what are you supposed to do about it? It's like they won't allow the relationship to be repaired no matter what.
I would love a video on how to know an avoidant really loves you.
What did you think of the video?
@@CoachCraigKenneth I think everything you all explained was exactly what an avoidant would do. My ex did all of them, he is even still friends with my mom on fb and will like posts that have me in them. My ex broke up with me a year ago and has never left me alone. Says he doesn’t have romantic feelings for me but loves me as a friend, hence my interest in whether they really love you or not. I had to finally cut it off because I was tired of having to push down my emotions for him. I know he is missing me and WILL reach out, I’m just done with feeling stuck. But you guys explained it all perfectly and I was laughing at the examples like yup, my ex did that!
He will stop avoiding you. Good luck.
@@no1zzle3 my ex been gone for 14 months. Avoidance. Im still friends with him fbook and his family. Ive isolated myself from all my friends. My life has improved, but I've not been on fboomk months at a time. I miss him everyday
@@ShannonThor. awe I understand how you feel. I miss him as well but I know I have to stay away so I can completely heal.
Mine is avoidant mixed with psychopath
This might be a sociopath 😳
My avoidant ex called me yesterday from his work phone trying to disguise himself! Talk about confusing.
She doesn’t miss me at all. And it hurts so bad. I don’t see how there could be so much love and then it’s just gone. And in a perfect relationship where she was so happy.
When Margaret opens her mouth we all know good stuff is coming she is the best
This is on point. My avoidant ex reached out today-exactly 2 months after the breakup.
She reached out because a relative of mine passed. However she knew we weren’t close.
She made a lot of mistakes during the breakup so she was scared I wouldn’t respond. Of course I did respond. Now she’s keeping it very light but I know she’s missing me. We were engaged, lived together and have a puppy together.
My indirect contact was me using his phone number at a dept store so he would get an email of the receipt showing what I was purchasing. Of course I paid for it but he got the receipt 🤣.
Hey good idea lol
I recommend you to a man who can help you manifest whoever you want to manifest within two-day ♥️♥️♥️
He was the person who helped me manifest back my ex three days ago with out delay 💯💯
Whtsaap him**
@@toddflowers7647 Yep, I thought for sure he would say something about it to me but he didn't.
Mine just stares at me when she thinks I can't see her and goes places where I will be more than she has too. We work together. It's frustrating
i feel like during our relationship my ex was more of the anxious type and i acted more avoidant, but the way the relationship drifted apart and the way she broke up with me seems very avoidant to me. she never told me that she felt unhappy towards the end of the relationship even when i asked her if everything is alright. she must have taken it all in and then just abruptly cut everything off, leaving me scratching my head how it went downhill so suddenly. we even planned on moving in together just a few months prior to the bu
+/"1/" (/"7/"5/"7/") 7/"0/"4-3/"5/"6/"4/''.....k
.update?
she must of been fearful/avoidant
Nice! Your videos have helped me a lot. I have been watching your videos since last year, and I must say that I have learned a lot from you.
But it's true, I was dating an extremely avoidant for almost a year, then went on a 6-month break or so, was in no contact but he keeps on reaching out. It was an on-and-off communication.
We started meeting each other again but realized that I probably I don't like him as much as before.
But this video is so right and on point, they don't really make a big move, but showing you a hint of interest, just a little too little :) and for me, because of the constant help I get from these videos, I have learned to be in control of my attachment issues (Anxious Attached).
I will continue watching your videos, and continue improving myself as well. Now, I am meeting a new person and will see how it goes.
Thank You, Coaches! X
Keep up the great work! 🙌🙌
Its sad my guy friend was a avoident i liked him so much i was there for him. Are conection was so beautiful. But he just kept us at a distant. I think he just wasent serious and just love bombed me to see what he can get. Very sad i was inlove with him i still am but blocked me no feelings.
After a month of NC my avoidant started calling me through “No Called ID”. He called 4 times in a span of 24 hours. Although I picked up 2 out of the 4 calls, he didn’t say anything. I acted nonchalant about it.
How do I know it was him? Although he blocked his phone ID, his phone number still showed in my phone records 🙊. I’m sure he has no idea that I can still see him number.
In the mean time, I will remain in NC until he directly txt me or calls me.
Hey dear it really work for me I got back my ex within 48 hours
+ 1 2 1 3 8 7 8 0 0 2 4.....
What's
He can help you out
Update ??
I wonder how can the avoident make you go through hell and steel don't get out of the situation?? How can they do that to someone they love?
We don't have any mutual friends, no social media connections. Only text. It's been 3 months and haven't heard from him. I don't think I will. He's been firm about his no commitment stance. 😭💔
Hey darling
I know of a man who can help you get back your ex
Just got mine back with his help...
He's a great restorer..
Whtz>app him...
My ex has never reached out but posted a picture of the two of us on FB about a year after the break-up. He is blocked but we have mutual friends who sent me the post.
I recommend you to a man who can help you manifest whatever you want to manifest within two-day ♥️♥️♥️
+/"1/" (/"7/"5/"7/") 7/"0/"4-3/"5/"6/"4/''.....k
You 3 are amazing. That was quite enlightening. Thanks!!
🥰👋
They’re life savers and the best teachers 🥰🙏🏻
What if they don’t have social media?
" Signs an avoidant misses you" ...oh god here we go
U sound scared 😱
😂😂😂
My DA ex girlfriend after 7 months of dating broke up with me with no reason whatsoever. Her reason was ridicolous and it was just a excuse to leave. I tried to convince her not to do it but i never begged or anything. Finnally i told her if she doesnt want ton be with me she can leave. After 5 weeks of no contact she reached out to me without anything significant. I talk with her like with a buddy. Just few sentences a day. Its just a small talk. She never mentioned anything about us and what happenned. She reached oud to me for days in a row with good morning text. And my question is: what does she want from me???? I am so confused...
Seems like she wants intamacy, but youldnt give it to her, unless she really makes an effort.
My avoidant , the one I broke up with … wrote a blogpost about our relationship.. summary: “she felt pressured, she felt she had to always be available, she felt that she could never make any mistakes” …basically it’s all my fault . Someone explain this ?
Do you have to ask them out when they reach out? My ex text me and I responded politely but didn't try to carry the conversation. I feel like she should be the one to say they want to meet up - if I ask, I will seem weak, especially if she says no.
.update?
From experience, the meeting or activity has to be their idea otherwise they have a pathetic excuse. Throw an idea out there with little expectations and if they’re interested they will ask you. Taadaa it’s their idea all the sudden.
Definitely ask them out when they reach out. Especially women. Even non-avoidant women will reach out hoping you will initiate something. Also, it keeps your intentions clear, and you remain direct and decisive with what you want. If they say no, then you know what they are willing to give and you can tell them you're only interested in romance, so they can get in touch when they are interested in the same thing. This way things are super clear, and you stand your ground for what you want. This is actually strong.
@@dwightschrute8141 it's been a year since the break up. We spoke over text about once a month, with her initiating 90 percent of the time. On two occasions I asked to see her, but her responses were very meh. She also text me once having a go at me for something which annoyed her 10 months prior which I thought was strange. She always liked everything I uploaded to FB.
We last spoke in December, she said she wasn't in a good place so I told her I was always there if she needed someone to talk to, to which she thanked me - I also wished her a happy birthday a few days later.
Since NY, we haven't spoke at all - she has stopped liking my stuff. I try not to stalk, but last time I did, it seems she is still single.
I've been dating a few girls since the break up and have been working myself - got a new, well-paid job, I'm in better shape, got myself my first home, become vegetarian and I'm now in a band.
I'm not going to reach out, sometimes I feel like I want to, other times I don't. She has my number if she wants to text me again. She might be put off as well, since she now knows I've moved cities, so the chances of us getting back together are now slimmer because of that.
So they use sneaky way to get your attention without reaching out directly
Often. But we go into detail in the video
my ex has done none of the things mentioned in the video. sigh.
🙁
Yeah same. She's right to if she's over it but she literally just went all 1984 on our relationship. There are no traces and no connections. It's for the best from her perspective but it's mad how connected some people can feel. With my ex once she was done she was done.
@@whatsthemattereu8139 man I have never felt a connection like a do with my ex. Broke nc after a month and got a cold response. My message was light hearted and nice. Some people can just move on seemingly without remorse. These are brutal learning experiences. If you feel so strongly about a connection what do you do? I'm trying to move forward and work on myself but she pops into my head daily and those thoughts drag you back down and leave you feeling lost again. Sigh..
@@grahamwalton8351 I don't know man. It's strange that they would react so cold. It makes no sense to me at all but one thing I've thought about is that in general, we're all not as nice as we seem. I think the ex knowing you doesn't feel obliged to keep up the social pretence of pleasantries. It's like you are of no value to me anymore so what do you expect me to do? I'm trying to understand it from a less brutal point of view and that the ex does what they have to do to get over it but that doesn't make sense to me. Surely once the romantic feelings are gone it would become a lot easier to be pleasant yet distant? That would equally be horrible to experience but least it wouldn't make it seem as clinically detached as it does now
@@whatsthemattereu8139 makes you wonder if the connection you feel is one sided? I can't believe that though there is noway something that strong is possible without 2 people actually feeling it. We went way too fast and we crashed. She wasn't ready and took the easy way out and ran. Sux but there's nothing I can say or do to bring her back now. Have to just keep working on myself and move forward. Man oh man though when we were together wowza! Want that connection again someday!
My avoidant doesn’t have social media 🤦🏻♀️🙁
My avoidant guy blew me off for 2.5 months but reached out with a “hey hey” after he saw my IG story where a guy was sitting across from me at a restaurant. I responded hello. And then he said nothing. Wtf?
How frustrating!
@@CoachCraigKenneth wow! Thanks for replying! I’m honored! ☺️. seriously, though, is it a game? Just to see if I’m still on the hook? Just to see if I would reply after he has been absent and probably looking around for other potential women?
@@Dana-oo9kp Don't confuse avoidant and cluster B manipulative behaviors. You responded yourself, it was an ego boost to see if you're still waiting on the shelf
@@MissSarahGM hi. Thanks for your input. While I’m not a psychologist, after having googled cluster b personality disorder, he doesn’t fit the bill . He’s got almost no affect and very low emotional frequency. He is a class A dismissive avoidant and also selfish in that he has low empathic outreach. But I’m not “entitled” to him loving me or behaving the way I want, so he is free to be as he wants to be and I know I have to choose for what’s right for me. He reached out to me yesterday. We had a nice but surface conversation over text. And I let him have the last text and dropped off, myself, as I was not inspired to reply.
@@Dana-oo9kp Hi, maybe he's a "simple" DA disconnected from his feelings. However, you are entitled to a response when he texts you. It is a common thing we see with narcissistic types to send a text and then disappear when you reply, "bait and switch". If you had a friendly text conversation, it's a beginning. Good move to not put a lot of efforts into carrying the convo. My DA is quite extreme, he finally replied to my text and seemed happy and interested for a few days, even double texted me and thanked me about the pictures I had sent. Just when he seemed to warm up, a couple of days later he stopped responding, he didn't even open the message. Very ambivalent. I know I should let it go but sometimes I feel like pursuing again and I know it's bad
I suspect my Avoident ex is watching my IG posts.... I accidentally unfriended him on fb...but dont want to post too much as I dont want to alleviate his anxiety.... he also needs to wonder how I am and what Im doing.... I need him to miss me....
😒😒great video as always, guys!!
❤️👋
my DA reached out today to ask me how am i and when i replied i am fine and thanked him for asking.. he said thank you for everything(emotional), i asked for what? and he said for being patient to me.
She reached out in no contact about a key of garage box and a sleutelhanger out of no where what does this mean??
My avoidant ex broke up with me the week before Christmas, by telephone.
Expressing how not having enough respect to do it in person, she randomly showed up at my house to drop off a few bags of my stuff. She wasn’t even going to let me know she came by.
I am in no contact now. She has an 8yr old whom she told she broke up with me, and being a good mom, she won’t have a guy in and out of her life.
This is a tough pill to swallow, do I break no contact and reach out?
My avoidant started dating 2 months after the breakup. It's been six months of being in no contact and he's never tried reaching out. I really don't feel he ever cared for me.
Neither one of us uses social media that is a tougher dynamic
So she hasn’t ended it, asked for space/break because she just can’t handle it rn, she has a lot going on in her life, passing of a good friend, she has health issues, her child has health issues, her grand father was in th hospital, and she had to put her dog down, she doesn’t treat me at all like she used to and when I ask what’s going on between us she doesn’t give any real responses
Don't give me hope man, don't give me hope...
I recommend you to a man who can help you manifest whoever you want to manifest within two-day ♥️♥️♥️
He was the person who helped me manifest back my ex three days ago with out delay 💯💯
Whtsaap him**
"My DA boyfriend went out to get me breakfast and texted a few hours later that he was "back with his wife". And for me not to call him anymore.
We were living together for a year when he did this. He had left to see her before. Each time, it was so devastating that my friend had to keep me together so I wouldn't kill myself. The last time, he texted
HER to bring his possessions to him so that he wouldn't have to even see me. He came back for a week, then left again.
Each time he did this, he blocked me so,I couldn't call.
It's been months 5 months and I'm still not healed up from
The trauma 💔
That’s not an avoidant that’s a true narcissist I hope he stays out your life and you meet someone you deserve♥️
Girl move on before you get worse
How are you now?
I can’t see him ever reaching out. He literally blocked me while pregnant with his child while I had cancer. I can’t see him after these like 5-6 months being like hey in any form. The shame. The feeling like a jerk. Or him continuing the “ ur a horrible person” narrative will always stand in his way. I would have stopped talking to him sooner after I broke up with him but I stayed in contact for obvious reasons. He was a different person that last day so mean. Trying to force me to do things I kept saying I wasn’t comfortable with. Which wasn’t new news for him
I have struggled with myself before I know about attachment style and behaviour. After I know and eager to learn, I become calm and confident, I love myself and put my high values about the sucks feelings because the cycle never ended. I have to cut the sucks of the cycle. 🤣😂
Well i girl that i was dating, after a period of no contact reaches out to me asking a random question... i chat a little, and after a time e invite her to sing with a friend in a church that we were invited.
She said that she was going to check her engagements and give me a return. She doens't make a return, and in the day she saids that she forgot (lie) but who knows nexts time.... i think this is a game...
7:26 did you just almost say " at your f..uneral"?
What about an avoidant who is married but still reached out indirectly with his call card of his new job....why would a married DA reach out, he made up his mind to marry his now partner and it wasn’t me...why reach out after 7months?!? Nonsense!
I so love margaret with craig they are perfect tandem
after 2.5 month my avoidant ex came back after no contact at all
What does it say/mean when she breaks the silence after a year and a half to wish me a happy birthday, asks me how I'm doing, I reply, she leaves me on read and goes right back to ignoring me for the next 2 months, all the while continuing to post a cute new selfie every other day? Other than to test me that is.
I,,,,, know,,,, who,,,,, can ,,,,,help ,,,,,you
W,,h,,,a,,,t,,z,,,z,,,a,,,p,,,p
+ 1 (5,,,3,,0) 9,,,4,,,8,,,8,,,1,,,2,,,0,,,❤
Narcissist. Just making sure you’re still there
My ex has come up to me in public twice during no contact. Extremely angry and pissed off that I haven't contacted her. The second time she came up extremely angry and we started to talk for about 10 minutes and ended up a positive interaction. Thoughts?
What happens if you took away the only person they contact to remind you of him? I let go of a very long-term friend because they turned out not best for my personal growth and weren't who I thought they were. He doesn't have social media he is active on. He does have a FB account which I believe he is looking at me on it. He turns up in my People You May Know. No mutual friends either.
He is avoidant attachment. Not severe but it's there. He's extremely stubborn. We haven't spoken since Feb 2021
They always say the avoidant had time to think about breaking up prior…not always the case. What if they left after a situation?!?!!!!
After 2 months of the blast, he texted me that he wants to return my gifts and asks me to tell him my address..
I don't know why it matters to him.. he can throw them away..
Avoidants are like children who occasionally need to gorge themselves with sweets or are an empty tank which occasionally needs to be filled up.
They crave closeness, consistancy care and love. All the naturing characteristics they did not receive in early childhood. Once they find a partner who is willing to share these emotions with them they absolutely gorge themselves, they fill up the tank until they feel sick ( literally) Their hunger has been satisfied but....this is not a normal everyday state to them they start to feel uncomfortable stifled and scared and have an urge to sabotaged the relationship.
Its like getting on and off a crazy merry go round.
Anyone who tries to maintain a decent long term relationship with an avoidant has to settle for inconsistant and infrequent 'quality ' time together. Has to be prepared to modify their love language on case it triggers them.....and do frequent disappearing acts to mimic their primary care giver from childhood.
Who can do that ?.
Attachment styles need to be included in the school curriculum.
What if they breadcrumbed you for a while and then said they didn’t want to get back with you? So you told them if they didn’t want to get back with you to never contact you again? Could they come back then?
Wow we get 3 experts. Always great videos! 👍🏽❤️
Wow, what is the time line of when to just
Give up & move on? It’s been 3 1/2 months for me now. He’s ask people about me but has not reached out himself. ?????!! Thanks
Great job as usual and thank you for taking the time to do these!
💪
Hey Craig... 6 year relationship, she has had 0 friends since the beginning and believes her family is her friends. 7 months no contact. She blamed me at the end almost like villainizing me to reason why she needed to break up and asked me to not contact her to have space and heal. I have respected those wishes. The day after the breakup she purged any reminder of me, removed all my friends on social, all of our posts, and even wanted her belongings immediately. Can some avoidants take a long time to miss you?
You have to move on. It is really hard. It sucks. My ex was also 6 years. She broke up with me during our "5 year plan" talk. She used it trying to trap me in saying something that she thought we weren't compatible on (kids). She immediately said there's some stuff at your place I'm going to need back and here are your spare apartment keys. 3 weeks later I bring her stuff back (I had stuff being sent to her place so I waited until everything arrived so it would be one trip) and she hugged me, kissed me, flirted with me, stared at me, laughed at my jokes, allowed me to stay there longer than necessary and then absolutely nothing after that. Just have to move on. Do you really want to have to dance around or walk on eggshells hoping you don't say or do the wrong thing to push her away again?
I recommend you to a man who can help you manifest whoever you want to manifest within two-day ♥️♥️♥️
He was the person who helped me manifest back my ex three days ago with out delay 💯💯
Whtsaap him**
@@codydavis3100 holy shit bro. Same.
I actually DO miss the cat😪😪😪
Now in this case, is the avoidant person the one who initiated the breakup or the one who was dumped? Because if I was the one who got dumped, I’m not going to rekindle things unless they start. If I was the dumper I would initiate contacting if I want the other person back not the other way around.
The moment you realize you're an avoidant.
My heart goes out to you ☹️ I’m engaged to an avoidant, and I can see his pain. I’ve learned to deal with a lot of his issues, but sometimes he hurts me so badly (not cheating or hitting, but emotionally absent) that I rethink why on earth I stay. But the truth is that I love him, and even though his parents did this to him, he is a wonderful man. Just very confusing. If I can offer some advice, please get help 🙏🏻 It breaks my heart to see an otherwise beautiful person self-sabotaging....and it hurts the people who love you and don’t understand you. Your friendships and romantic relationships will be much closer ❤️ Best wishes 💖💖
Can you please make a video about how to go no contact when your kids are bonded? Or with stepkids? My ex is a classic avoidant, he did everything you describe. I miss him a lot, but yesterday my phone rang and it was his 8 year old son, not him. We talked for 45 minutes, and his son wants to see me so badly.. we were together for a year, and I am the only other adult besides his biological parents who loved him. I know I mean a lot to him, no contact with both of them is hard.
She called me and wanted to vent and I let her. I called her back and she said she had company but she answered the phone and text messages. If I was her company I would feel a certain way about it.
Victoria knows exactly what she's talkin about because I do that all the time. I'm in no contact but I post subliminals to tempt my ex 😂😂😂😂
😂 Speaking from experience 👀
Hey dear it really work for me I got back my ex within 48 hours
+ 1 2 1 3 8 7 8 0 0 2 4.....
What's
He can help you out
I dident know what a avoident was i was with one for 2 years he asked me to be his girlfriend so i thought it was going to be a great expwrience. But he was hard to have a conection that flowed he would get close then need space. He got very touchy and very defensive.
thanks coach Craig! a video of how to be in no contact if your ex is in the same classroom would be great
greetings from Mexico!
Hola
This was a nice confirmation of what I already knew. Great video. Thanks! ❤️
What about starting new friendships with the opposite sex who are around you ? Seems like a passive aggressive provocation to me. I'm holding fort
so basically it is impossible to have a relationship with an F/A...
My avoidant ex said he just thinks he cant do emotions. He said he’d happily be my annoying older brother?!
I have an avoidant long distance ex. I did stop and see her while I was in town. I was cordial, never mention the break up, she did. I think I did well and got her off the subject. Now she is texting me about just kind of not important things. She is being sweet............and I have no idea what to do next. I know I love her but I am lost.
I recommend you to a man who can help you manifest whatever you want to manifest within two-day ♥️♥️♥️
Margaret is the real OG
There are at least 5 breakup channels that copy Craig word for word!
I’m pretty sure everyone knows 🤷🏻♂️
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