I personally feel that breadcrumbing creates a trauma bond of sorts and is incredibly difficult to break the longer it goes on. My advice would be to get away from anyone doing this as quickly as possible.
If you ever question yourself what you mean to him, it means you don't mean anything. It hurts like shit that someone would just keep you as an option. I was so tired of the intense heavy feeling, restless, insecure. I had to let it go. It kills me. It's not my ego. It's just protecting myself.
I did this and hadn’t even watched this video yet, crying rn cus I have the reassurance that I did the right thing by walking away. I told him what I wanted and he gave a bunch of excuses and wasn’t willing to compromise so I immediately ended it. Thank you 🙏
Good for you Alisha 💗 It is so hard to receive the hurtful bread-crumbing behavior from a masculine that initially showed interest and yet chooses bread-crumbing over simple honest and truthful communication (i.e. gives "excuses" when asked to speak truthfully) 😥
Being single to me means cooking when I want, sleeping when I want, watching what I want, not being told what, when, where and why, not being judged, not being responsible for someone else's happiness, not having to feel the need to entertain another, not having to listen to crabbing, fussing and fighting, and not being torn from my relationship with God which is the most important thing in life to me, not having my child deal with someone/ men other then his father and putting up with the drama. What I miss about being in a relationship: NOTHING (not sex, cuddling, touch, nothing) I have not dated anyone in any type of way since 2015 and I can honestly say I've never felt so calm and happy as I have since that year and on. God has been my protector and so good to me, giving abundantly since I have stayed single. If you change your perspective on being single and have child like faith in Our Father the whole world opens up to you AND you won't need video's like this anymore! (I'm only here cuz the breadcrumbs caption caught my eye then saw what it was, thought I'd leave this message to encourage you if your single and I'm outta here). In this day n age being single is safer also. To many 🤡's out there now-a-days!!!
@ Ashlyn Taylor I'm really glad you posted your comment. I too am a devoted child of God and had decades of bread crumbing and other toxic behavior before I left my so-called Christian husband. My children are grown so I live alone. I do get lonely, but God is my best friend and comfort. Everything you have written, I have been focusing on--there is a lot of freedom and peace and having that makes up for any sense of lack that might come my way off and on. In my healing journey, which began in 2019, I discovered that inner peace is my highest value so when I notice it disappearing for some reason, I look for the cause and fix it as fast as I can, returning to God's voice inside me. Hugs to you.
O my gosh! This is what I think lady. IKR I really made myself a 🤡 each time I wanted someone to stay by my side. Peace is really addictive although it do gets a little lonely sometimes. But it's better to feel alone on your own in your presence at least you don't have to deal with a piiig who separates you from yourself and plays bs games on the expense of your own self esteem.
I think we need to pray with passion against the spiritual attacks on men and women: pornography, sexual perversion, division etc that are keeping men and women from having healthy relationships. I have been single for a long time because I find men in the U.S. who call themselves Christian are so extremely compromised. I will have a man who is surrendered to Jesus or no one. That being said, I have a crush on a broken man now. While keeping my distance I am praying for him intensely and seeing if God can bring him to repentance and transformation.
It's not always that people accept poor treatment because they think they don't deserve better, but because they think that better than that doesn't exist.
Bernardo, the reason men bread crumb (or do any hurtful, manipulative or self-sabotaging behavior vs HONESTY) is based on THEIR unhealed wounds. Most women are dealing with men who are wounded children who will not LOOK AT their behaviors (as that would require acknowledging weakness and, as one man told me, "men won't acknowledge their weakness") and do the deep dive into self-healing. All relationships REFLECT OUR WOUNDS and "hurt people hurt people" which we see in bread-crumbing behaviors instead of Truth and Honesty. Women deserve honesty and shouldn't have to jump through a thousand psychological hoops to connect with a man who has shown interest. BOTH men and women need to work on healing their wounds, but I see very few men doing this. Most women I know have spent a great many years and have made huge investments of money/time/energy into becoming healed, healthy conscious partners. Can you as a mature, balanced masculine representative address this? Thank you 🙏❤
It's not just dudes who do this. I have so many positives in my life, I am able to do whatever I want yet my ex-girlfriend got my mind all twisted. Now out of it I can look back and holy shit why didn't I just walk away. The slow boil is real. Year 1 incredible, year 2 so/so, the last year and a half was spent chopping my legs out from under me. Now she is dangling the only bread crumb that she has. She wants to be friends with benefits. No benefit there.
I was committed in my marriage for over 20 years. All I got was burned and old. It is so sad that good people are getting hurt all the time. I can’t wait for my divorce to be finalized.
Awe, please don’t feel you are old. I believe that we are all on a journey towards God and we can have a wonderful life and peace and bliss at any time! I believe in Jesus Christ as my personal savior! 🙏
Right on time. I have removed him. This behaviour is so poor. I invest in myself and fill the gap by myself until someone can join me in that. Filling the dopamine with the opera tonight! So excited!
I was blinded by this guy, who showed me a shiny version of himself. I tried to be happy with his lack of involvement and I devalued myself! Staying with him was painful, because he stopped reaching out to me. He led me on in the beginning, interacting with me and then dropping all of that once we were together
I think being in a relationship is about two things. Respect & Tolerance. As the saying goes, "If you Like your partner and Can Accept the others worst habits, you'll stay together forever." With that said, I think people quickly jumping the gun., whether it be bf/gf, engagement, marriage is a bad habit. & It's true, people invest more time and resesrch when purchasing a new car than they do in getting to know someone before saying I Do.. This year will be my 4 year anniversary with my partner. I took alot of time to learn about; him, me and as a WE. I think to make a relationship thrive, you have to eloquently state your standards, accept your partners idiosyncracies and let love naturally grow. We are all works in progress ;) never forget that 💞
@@ThePossumone If you want to lead your days and life with that kind of vibe, then be my guest, yet I choose to live my life with optimism and leave the pessimism far away. I prefer to lead with loyalty & love.
Heather is correct. Certain individuals (Narcissists) are Master Decepticon's, and Manipulators. And "if" a person has NO idea that these people EVEN exist (as I didn't) or what a Narcissist is ...... they absolute targets for them. They will "believe" that they have meet, not only "their" person ..... but THE person. When in fact, they have met EVIL personafide, in the flesh. Your perspective, is based (Thank God) from your lack of an encounter with one. Had you of married one ..... (like me) your view would be significantly different. Year's of abuse have a way of helping you "see" thing's clearly, once you get the necessary help needed.
I have listened to you for ..years..no clue how long. Thank you so much. Your videos have helped me so many times of my life. When I was single..married..divorced..relationships..single again! You have changed my life, thank you so much!
Thank you for this video. I did recognize towards the end that in my last relationship that I experienced some breadcrumbing. For my next relationship I know that I need to be direct, clear about what I want, and not accept anything less. Life is too short to waste time...
i soooooo needed to hear this right now. omg. breadcrumbing sucks. when you said stop lying to yourself... wow... really made everything make sense to me. ♥ thanks for this one. Really gave me something to think about
Thank you this is excellent advice. I know a breadcrumbed…the advice and suggestions are exactly what I have been working on for the last 2 years….after ending an abusive relationship. A People Pleaser with no boundaries, I typically jumped in and out of relationships. 2 Years Ago, I began a New Journey of Healing and practicing Self Love…that’s my Recovery Journey. I took a 2 year Sabbatical from all intimate relationships. I am now building a Tribe of New Friends that reflect my interests common goodness….this is True Wisdom…thank you for your Eloquence😍
I watched this last night and I felt like you were speaking to me directly. It was what I needed at the exact moment. It gave me chills. I watched it again and I will need to execute your details to get rid of the breadcrumbing men in my life. THANKS a million!!
Thank you for this video! I’ve struggled with this for years with my TF. I find myself justifying things but it all comes down to myself worth and believing a deserve more.
My 4 yr LDR has suffered greatly during the past two years of global pandemic, and we came very close to breaking it off, and I'm glad we didn't. LDRs are hard enough without travel bans, lockdowns, loadshedding (in his country S. Africa), economic melt downs, etc. I c. ut him a lot of slack, and happy I have. He's flying to me in May -- finally -- unless another crisis occurs. SURREAL. We're both over 50 and been through it all. ☘
Woman like competition with other women. If he’s married or taken they will take the bread crumbs. Also when a guy bread crumbs you, he’s seeing other women and has no intentins of getting serious. Guys know when the they know and will not skip a day talking to you and will come see you daily if they can. Playing yourself. Hurting yourself. When your happiness depends on someone calling, you are missing the whole point of life. Happy weekend!
@@tessadunkley5171 The married men tend to say and do things that make them think they have found a unicorn. They overlook the lying and cheating on their spouses and children. Most affairs need the marriage to survive. It’s the competition and sneaking around that drives their desires . Isn’t everyone on their best behavior when trying to get a man to be with them?
Bern, I really get a lot out of how you can really explain things, the abstract feelings, so exactly spot on. You put always put things into a picture or perspective that really hits home. I'm learning a lot from you. Great that you're there for us! 👍
Thank you for this video! I had a bread crumb relationship a while back. I was casually dating a few people and one of them was very competitive. They seemed to be everywhere I was but when I made it clear I wanted more, they would gaslight me. I was " just a friend" until they wanted something. I had not seen this video yet but I did what it took to break away. Not long after I did this, I met someone special. We are a much better fit then I ever would have been with this other person.
I lovingly let him go told him I wanted him to be happy but I'm looking for someone who will be 100 percent in..he said thank you..he's alone trying to figure things out..I've gone no contact been 2 weeks I hope he'll come back one day...but if he does It's all or nothing and won't put up with any less
MOST BREADCRUMBERS are energy vsmpires, they do not want to give uou as much energy that they expect from you. When a partner breadcrumb you it is over. They think they can do better or they are cheating or they are hoping you will see other people so they can or you will cheat and they can be the victim and get fuel.
It's sad that people even breadcrumb to begin with. Finding someone you're attracted to who's honest, loyal, and a supportive partner is very rare to find nowadays.
@@BernMendez I believe it's a lot about the right timing. If someone isn't finding luck in the dating world, it's smart to take a break and work on oneself. I'm going to be positive about it. :)
I have both ADHD & Borderline personality disorder & im glad im now self aware of my own actions but it took me years to get to this stage. This is my explanation for why i breadcrumb...... it's simply because...from the beginning my consistent positive validation had been met with indifference by women, so i had to work harder to get their attention by intensely love bombing them and once i have love bombed them, i finally get their attention and once they respond to my love bombing, i reply to them with indifference (leave them on delivered purposely) to feel better about myself & that felt like an ego boost.....and this behaviour of mine became a bad habit overtime and now that im self aware....i have stopped love bombing them
I hate that we have to watch videos about how to manouver around male psychological games ! How immature and self centered that these type of men run relationships
Wonderful, wonderful video. Thank you so much!! I am very grateful for it! And if I may say, God bless you (and any of your viewers who would like to receive this prayer) in Jesus’s Holy Name, Amen! 🙏
Our self worth is not in how others who mistreat us feel about us. We are a good woman for the right person. I’m not talking about perfection. The right person will know that and be willing to see you as who you are and build a relationship together.
This was really helpful, thank you. He just blocked me after I called him out on his breadcrumbing. Though I know he's doing me a favor, it's still hurtful. I'm trying to move past it. Do you have any tips or videos on how to soothe yourself/your ego after being blocked by an ex?
I am dog sitting. It fills the void since I no longer communicate with him for the past two months. He is with me psychically though. Very intuitive and the connection is still strong. The practices I know aren't working.❤
I’ve actually applied for an open university psychology course , doing me now I’ve told him that I’ll be a friend but that’s it now . He’s been playing me even though he don’t seem to even realise it He’s not at all aware and trying to play games with an emotionally intelligent person . It’s kind of funny really
Omg!He does this!he always said he loves me but he never make an effort to see me we live in the same city but we rarely see each other!4 times a year!!!he said he is busy with work or he is tired..and it hurts me alot i always questioning my self maybe i’m not worth it for his time
It's in the best interest of online therapists to trot out buzz words like "breadcrumbing", "boundaries", "vibrations", and advocate for self-development to improve your chances of getting with a man. Ladies, just go for it. Tell him you want to see him. Hang in there if he is hot and cold. You don't have to be a better you--just put on some makeup, smile a lot, wear something pretty, the usual...this is not rocket science though the helping professions want you to buy into the fantasy that it is.
Some are true breadcrumbers, but there may be other reasons...like autistic burnout. It's not healthy for a partner to be on the outside of that burnout and not know, but it's important to communicate even if it seems like the end. Without communication we are just guessing/assuming. It is on them to readjust/get help, so there are some better coping skills.
I don't know why UA-camrs keep trying to explain everything with dopamine. the reason why we don't detach is because we don't want that person to disappear from our life so even a minimal contact fuels the hope that there is some possibility of recovering this relationship or that it can go back to how it was at the beginning.
So you're saying that minimal contact creates a dopamine rush in your nervous system (Among other things obviously) nothing is as simple as one molecule and yet biochemistry matters. Thanks for watching.
Sigh. I really wish that the onus wasn't still being put on women. You can't inspire pursuit in a man who has no interest in committing to anyone. There is no such thing as stopping a grown person from doing anything that they want to do. You are not going to seduce or charm him into realizing your value because it's not about you. You are just one of many shiny distractions that he is using for validation, sex, therapy, or fun. When you realize that a man is breadcrumbing you, WALK AWAY. If he shows back up trying to pursue you, give him ONE more chance only and DO NOT make him a priority. Keep it casual. Why? Because men like this always pretend to pursue you when they think that they are losing access to you. They still don't want you; they just want to make sure that you aren't going anywhere. So make him have to work for it and if he's truly interested, he'll step up. If he deems you as too much work, he'll disappear anyway.
It’s funny how it feels exactly like this from the other side, but with slightly different factors… I will fully commit and bend over backwards to improve a woman’s life… fix her car, cook for her, surprise her with gifts, plan romantic evenings, etc., but the first moment I ask for anything I’m told they can’t be responsible for emotionally supporting me, or that I’m only being nice because I want something. Yea, I want reciprocation. Lol. You can’t imagine how many women have tried to gaslight me into thinking I shouldn’t have any needs. As soon as I walk away, that’s when the breadcrumbing starts. Suddenly they realize how much better their life was with me in it. So, I give chances.. way too many, I know. I will hold out just for a simple “thank you”… ugh.
Oh damn, I didn't notice that I'm breadcrumbing my crush who also has a crush on me. My main reason is because I'm not sure if she really likes me or not, but her friends said that her feelings are true, but for some reason I don't believe them, what do you think i should do?
Get My Free Training: bit.ly/my-dating-cure-training
Wauw! You are so right!
I want the opposite
I agree with this 100%.
I agree with this 100%.😢
I personally feel that breadcrumbing creates a trauma bond of sorts and is incredibly difficult to break the longer it goes on. My advice would be to get away from anyone doing this as quickly as possible.
Thank you for watching
It's a dopamine high low which is very similar to how a trauma bond works, you're bang on.
I tend to agree. It creates confusion and anxiety.
100%!! Often is done on purpose!
Thank you for pointing this trauma bond out. Until you said it, I didn't look at it from that perspective. You're right. 🙏
If you ever question yourself what you mean to him, it means you don't mean anything. It hurts like shit that someone would just keep you as an option. I was so tired of the intense heavy feeling, restless, insecure. I had to let it go. It kills me. It's not my ego. It's just protecting myself.
I did this and hadn’t even watched this video yet, crying rn cus I have the reassurance that I did the right thing by walking away. I told him what I wanted and he gave a bunch of excuses and wasn’t willing to compromise so I immediately ended it. Thank you 🙏
You’re most welcome, Alisha.
Good for you Alisha 💗 It is so hard to receive the hurtful bread-crumbing behavior from a masculine that initially showed interest and yet chooses bread-crumbing over simple honest and truthful communication (i.e. gives "excuses" when asked to speak truthfully) 😥
You did the right thing! The pain will pass….
Hope you're doing well now
Me too thanks for these comments help one, help many ❤
Being single to me means cooking when I want, sleeping when I want, watching what I want, not being told what, when, where and why, not being judged, not being responsible for someone else's happiness, not having to feel the need to entertain another, not having to listen to crabbing, fussing and fighting, and not being torn from my relationship with God which is the most important thing in life to me, not having my child deal with someone/ men other then his father and putting up with the drama. What I miss about being in a relationship: NOTHING (not sex, cuddling, touch, nothing) I have not dated anyone in any type of way since 2015 and I can honestly say I've never felt so calm and happy as I have since that year and on. God has been my protector and so good to me, giving abundantly since I have stayed single. If you change your perspective on being single and have child like faith in Our Father the whole world opens up to you AND you won't need video's like this anymore! (I'm only here cuz the breadcrumbs caption caught my eye then saw what it was, thought I'd leave this message to encourage you if your single and I'm outta here). In this day n age being single is safer also. To many 🤡's out there now-a-days!!!
@ Ashlyn Taylor
I'm really glad you posted your comment. I too am a devoted child of God and had decades of bread crumbing and other toxic behavior before I left my so-called Christian husband. My children are grown so I live alone. I do get lonely, but God is my best friend and comfort. Everything you have written, I have been focusing on--there is a lot of freedom and peace and having that makes up for any sense of lack that might come my way off and on. In my healing journey, which began in 2019, I discovered that inner peace is my highest value so when I notice it disappearing for some reason, I look for the cause and fix it as fast as I can, returning to God's voice inside me. Hugs to you.
YOU GO GIRL!
AMEN🙏
O my gosh! This is what I think lady. IKR I really made myself a 🤡 each time I wanted someone to stay by my side. Peace is really addictive although it do gets a little lonely sometimes. But it's better to feel alone on your own in your presence at least you don't have to deal with a piiig who separates you from yourself and plays bs games on the expense of your own self esteem.
Breadcrumb words caught my eyes too. 😹LOL! Tired of this shI8.
I think we need to pray with passion against the spiritual attacks on men and women: pornography, sexual perversion, division etc that are keeping men and women from having healthy relationships. I have been single for a long time because I find men in the U.S. who call themselves Christian are so extremely compromised. I will have a man who is surrendered to Jesus or no one. That being said, I have a crush on a broken man now. While keeping my distance I am praying for him intensely and seeing if God can bring him to repentance and transformation.
If a man is bread crumbing you; why would you try and convince him not to breadcrumb - when you could find someone who is more into you.
It’s not about “convincing” him to do anything but about expressing your needs and allowing him to step up or step down.
When you realize you are being breadcrumbed you will feel so disappointed and offended
Thank you for watching hope this was useful : )
It's not always that people accept poor treatment because they think they don't deserve better, but because they think that better than that doesn't exist.
I understand : )
Or because they don't really understand how different things could/should be
Or they don't recognize this damaging behavior in other people... Blaming yourself is victim blaming..
I’d rather be alone than with someone who makes me feel like I’m alone
I literally said I want someone who will fake affection for me to get some intimacy rather than guys who say they looking for hookup.
Bernardo, the reason men bread crumb (or do any hurtful, manipulative or self-sabotaging behavior vs HONESTY) is based on THEIR unhealed wounds. Most women are dealing with men who are wounded children who will not LOOK AT their behaviors (as that would require acknowledging weakness and, as one man told me, "men won't acknowledge their weakness") and do the deep dive into self-healing. All relationships REFLECT OUR WOUNDS and "hurt people hurt people" which we see in bread-crumbing behaviors instead of Truth and Honesty. Women deserve honesty and shouldn't have to jump through a thousand psychological hoops to connect with a man who has shown interest. BOTH men and women need to work on healing their wounds, but I see very few men doing this. Most women I know have spent a great many years and have made huge investments of money/time/energy into becoming healed, healthy conscious partners. Can you as a mature, balanced masculine representative address this? Thank you 🙏❤
100% spot on!!
You have put it so well 💜
No they can’t
It's not just dudes who do this. I have so many positives in my life, I am able to do whatever I want yet my ex-girlfriend got my mind all twisted. Now out of it I can look back and holy shit why didn't I just walk away. The slow boil is real. Year 1 incredible, year 2 so/so, the last year and a half was spent chopping my legs out from under me. Now she is dangling the only bread crumb that she has. She wants to be friends with benefits. No benefit there.
They also do it as it feeds their ego. They may also look for another option and keep you on waiting bench..
You're exactly right. The price I'm paying for the brief moments of excitement is not worth it. I'm missing out on wonderful experiences ❤
I was committed in my marriage for over 20 years. All I got was burned and old. It is so sad that good people are getting hurt all the time. I can’t wait for my divorce to be finalized.
Hope you heal and rise again, and find love again if that's something you want.
Marriage is the hardest thing you will ever do
Awe, please don’t feel you are old. I believe that we are all on a journey towards God and we can have a wonderful life and peace and bliss at any time! I believe in Jesus Christ as my personal savior! 🙏
I wish you the life you dream of.
I survived 37 years in a bad marriage. best thing I ever did was divorce him.
Right on time. I have removed him. This behaviour is so poor. I invest in myself and fill the gap by myself until someone can join me in that. Filling the dopamine with the opera tonight! So excited!
I also did same 🎉🎉🎉❤❤
I don’t blame myself at all. This is a learning experience for me.
Tyna, glad to hear you're learning so you can do better going forward : )
I was blinded by this guy, who showed me a shiny version of himself. I tried to be happy with his lack of involvement and I devalued myself! Staying with him was painful, because he stopped reaching out to me. He led me on in the beginning, interacting with me and then dropping all of that once we were together
Same thing happened to me.
I can relate, I'm so sorry it happened to you.
He was love bombing you. It is incredibly painful to go from that to the devaluation and discarding phase. There are many men doing that out there.
I think being in a relationship is about two things. Respect & Tolerance. As the saying goes, "If you Like your partner and Can Accept the others worst habits, you'll stay together forever." With that said, I think people quickly jumping the gun., whether it be bf/gf, engagement, marriage is a bad habit. & It's true, people invest more time and resesrch when purchasing a new car than they do in getting to know someone before saying I Do.. This year will be my 4 year anniversary with my partner. I took alot of time to learn about; him, me and as a WE. I think to make a relationship thrive, you have to eloquently state your standards, accept your partners idiosyncracies and let love naturally grow. We are all works in progress ;) never forget that 💞
Glad to hear your relationship is going great : )
Yes but people change trust me on that - people in the best relationships can lie and cheat -
@@ThePossumone If you want to lead your days and life with that kind of vibe, then be my guest, yet I choose to live my life with optimism and leave the pessimism far away. I prefer to lead with loyalty & love.
Best friends first!
Heather is correct.
Certain individuals (Narcissists) are Master Decepticon's, and Manipulators.
And "if" a person has NO idea that these people EVEN exist (as I didn't) or what a Narcissist is ...... they absolute targets for them.
They will "believe" that they have meet, not only "their" person ..... but THE person.
When in fact, they have met EVIL personafide, in the flesh. Your perspective, is based (Thank God) from your lack of an encounter with one.
Had you of married one ..... (like me) your view would be significantly different. Year's of abuse have a way of helping you "see" thing's clearly, once you get the necessary help needed.
I have listened to you for ..years..no clue how long. Thank you so much. Your videos have helped me so many times of my life. When I was single..married..divorced..relationships..single again! You have changed my life, thank you so much!
You are so welcome, Kimberly. If you haven't gone through the latest training it might help: bit.ly/my-dating-cure-training
Thank you for this video. I did recognize towards the end that in my last relationship that I experienced some breadcrumbing. For my next relationship I know that I need to be direct, clear about what I want, and not accept anything less. Life is too short to waste time...
Absolutely. Glad you’re clear about what you want.
Thank you!
i soooooo needed to hear this right now. omg. breadcrumbing sucks. when you said stop lying to yourself... wow... really made everything make sense to me. ♥ thanks for this one. Really gave me something to think about
Glad this was useful :)
Thank you this is excellent advice. I know a breadcrumbed…the advice and suggestions are exactly what I have been working on for the last 2 years….after ending an abusive relationship. A People Pleaser with no boundaries, I typically jumped in and out of relationships. 2 Years Ago, I began a New Journey of Healing and practicing Self Love…that’s my Recovery Journey. I took a 2 year Sabbatical from all intimate relationships. I am now building a Tribe of New Friends that reflect my interests common goodness….this is True Wisdom…thank you for your Eloquence😍
Terry, I'm happy to hear you're doing things differently now. Thanks for your kind words.
I watched this last night and I felt like you were speaking to me directly. It was what I needed at the exact moment. It gave me chills. I watched it again and I will need to execute your details to get rid of the breadcrumbing men in my life. THANKS a million!!
This really changed everything ! Wow thank you I feel so empowered. I pray his gives me the strength to change this around as I feel exhausted
You are so welcome.
Thank you dear man , I'll listen to this over and over to help me
Thank you for this video! I’ve struggled with this for years with my TF. I find myself justifying things but it all comes down to myself worth and believing a deserve more.
Glad to hear this was helpful to you, Melissa.
My 4 yr LDR has suffered greatly during the past two years of global pandemic, and we came very close to breaking it off, and I'm glad we didn't. LDRs are hard enough without travel bans, lockdowns, loadshedding (in his country S. Africa), economic melt downs, etc. I c. ut him a lot of slack, and happy I have. He's flying to me in May -- finally -- unless another crisis occurs. SURREAL. We're both over 50 and been through it all. ☘
Very enlightening content, realistic points. Many podcasts already exist but yours seem to resonate more for me. Thank you!
Glad you found this useful, Monique
Bern, we have you as a gift. We have to guard you jealously. All women of the world.
Thank you for your kind words, Aliya.
Love this. You have to love yourself enough to live a free, happy life.
Yes! : )
Woman like competition with other women. If he’s married or taken they will take the bread crumbs. Also when a guy bread crumbs you, he’s seeing other women and has no intentins of getting serious. Guys know when the they know and will not skip a day talking to you and will come see you daily if they can. Playing yourself. Hurting yourself. When your happiness depends on someone calling, you are missing the whole point of life. Happy weekend!
Everything you said is the absolute truth‼️
I agree... men know if they want someone.... i dont like competition though.. or married men. Head ache
@@tessadunkley5171 The married men tend to say and do things that make them think they have found a unicorn. They overlook the lying and cheating on their spouses and children. Most affairs need the marriage to survive. It’s the competition and sneaking around that drives their desires . Isn’t everyone on their best behavior when trying to get a man to be with them?
Grown women don't like to compete with other women. Period.
"Don't do it alone." Good one. Thank you!
Edith, you're most welcome.
Wow. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I can't say thank you enough! Peace, love and clarity to all! 😘💃🏽
Glad this was useful, Kay.
Bern, I really get a lot out of how you can really explain things, the abstract feelings, so exactly spot on. You put always put things into a picture or perspective that really hits home.
I'm learning a lot from you. Great that you're there for us! 👍
Thank you for sharing, glad you find value in my videos. :)
Excellent!
A total reflection and confidence challenge! 🌟
Thank you, Bern.
You're so welcome!
Thank you for this video! I had a bread crumb relationship a while back. I was casually dating a few people and one of them was very competitive. They seemed to be everywhere I was but when I made it clear I wanted more, they would gaslight me. I was " just a friend" until they wanted something.
I had not seen this video yet but I did what it took to break away. Not long after I did this, I met someone special. We are a much better fit then I ever would have been with this other person.
I lovingly let him go told him I wanted him to be happy but I'm looking for someone who will be 100 percent in..he said thank you..he's alone trying to figure things out..I've gone no contact been 2 weeks I hope he'll come back one day...but if he does It's all or nothing and won't put up with any less
Good for you, Jen :)
Any updates?
Gracias, Bernie! I did this but it took me a long time, wasted a lot of time and went through unnecessary pain...Wish you had been on UA-cam then!
You’re most welcome, Marianela.
Moving forward men need to learn lessons too I will be the one that always gets away
Thank you! I needed this!
Glad you found it useful, Deborah. 🙏
Amazing video! Crucial and one of your best. Thanks for sharing dear Bern ❤
My pleasure. Glad you found it useful.
I needed this. Been watching your video over and over again. Thank you
You’re most welcome.
MOST BREADCRUMBERS are energy vsmpires, they do not want to give uou as much energy that they expect from you. When a partner breadcrumb you it is over. They think they can do better or they are cheating or they are hoping you will see other people so they can or you will cheat and they can be the victim and get fuel.
So many amazing points in this video !!
Thank you, glad it was useful for you. : )
crying while watching this..i hope i will have the courage one day.. 😭
You can do it!
I am going to journal on all of your points tonight. And I guess tomorrow I’ll be single. And hopefully not caring anymore…
Glad this was useful.
It's sad that people even breadcrumb to begin with. Finding someone you're attracted to who's honest, loyal, and a supportive partner is very rare to find nowadays.
It's challenging but doable.
@@BernMendez I believe it's a lot about the right timing. If someone isn't finding luck in the dating world, it's smart to take a break and work on oneself. I'm going to be positive about it. :)
I have both ADHD & Borderline personality disorder & im glad im now self aware of my own actions but it took me years to get to this stage. This is my explanation for why i breadcrumb...... it's simply because...from the beginning my consistent positive validation had been met with indifference by women, so i had to work harder to get their attention by intensely love bombing them and once i have love bombed them, i finally get their attention and once they respond to my love bombing, i reply to them with indifference (leave them on delivered purposely) to feel better about myself & that felt like an ego boost.....and this behaviour of mine became a bad habit overtime and now that im self aware....i have stopped love bombing them
I hate that we have to watch videos about how to manouver around male psychological games ! How immature and self centered that these type of men run relationships
Thank you Pep Guardiola for all these precious advice
You’re so welcome.
Wonderful, wonderful video. Thank you so much!! I am very grateful for it! And if I may say, God bless you (and any of your viewers who would like to receive this prayer) in Jesus’s Holy Name, Amen! 🙏
You are so welcome! Blessings to you too.
Thank you for this great video!
Glad it was helpful!
So helpful! Thank you so much ❤️
You’re welcome!
Bern, one of the most eloquent coaches.
Valentina, thank you for your kind words.
Hello Beautiful video. You hit exactly what I’m sadly enough going through. Want to connect v/you for a class asap!
Thank you Sofia, if you want coaching here's a link to apply: bit.ly/speakwithbern
Our self worth is not in how others who mistreat us feel about us. We are a good woman for the right person. I’m not talking about perfection. The right person will know that and be willing to see you as who you are and build a relationship together.
Thanks for watching, Maria.
This was really helpful, thank you. He just blocked me after I called him out on his breadcrumbing. Though I know he's doing me a favor, it's still hurtful. I'm trying to move past it. Do you have any tips or videos on how to soothe yourself/your ego after being blocked by an ex?
Yes, this might help: ua-cam.com/video/q2S1TzK-sAY/v-deo.html
He came back, didn't he?
Thank you for your support
You're welcome!
I had to subscribe, you get directly to the point short and sweet and 👉 no fluff 💭👌. Thank you
Teasha, Thanks for subscribing I appreciate your kind words : )
Excellent Video!
Thank you so much, Cheri 🙏
Very helpful 🌻🙂👍🏽 Thank you!!!💐
Glad it was helpful!
I am dog sitting. It fills the void since I no longer communicate with him for the past two months. He is with me psychically though. Very intuitive and the connection is still strong. The practices I know aren't working.❤
Very helpful and useful and insightful
Thank you, Ela.
Very good video!!
Thank you very much : )
Thanks Bern!
You're so welcome!
Such a good phrase - “emotionally hung over”
Thanks for watching.
Great advice!
Thank you for watching.
Well said. Thank you.
You’re welcome!
This reality check was hurtful !!
Tiffany, I'm glad this helped you : )
I’ve actually applied for an open university psychology course , doing me now
I’ve told him that I’ll be a friend but that’s it now . He’s been playing me even though he don’t seem to even realise it
He’s not at all aware and trying to play games with an emotionally intelligent person . It’s kind of funny really
Omg!He does this!he always said he loves me but he never make an effort to see me we live in the same city but we rarely see each other!4 times a year!!!he said he is busy with work or he is tired..and it hurts me alot i always questioning my self maybe i’m not worth it for his time
4x a year??? Hell no I hope you got out of there! ❤
Powerful advice
Thank you Gina!
Great video, thank you
You are welcome.
Nobody wrote out the 5 steps in comments????? Shameful. lol
This way you get the full experience of watching and going deeper ; )
Thank you
You're welcome :)
Thank you!
💯💯💯
Thank you!
@@BernMendez 🌸🙏🏽🌞💕
It's in the best interest of online therapists to trot out buzz words like "breadcrumbing", "boundaries", "vibrations", and advocate for self-development to improve your chances of getting with a man. Ladies, just go for it. Tell him you want to see him. Hang in there if he is hot and cold. You don't have to be a better you--just put on some makeup, smile a lot, wear something pretty, the usual...this is not rocket science though the helping professions want you to buy into the fantasy that it is.
I love you , Bernardo!!!
Thank you so much. I’m glad you enjoyed this.
Thanks so much❤
Great video 👍
Glad you enjoyed it :)
Fantastic advice
Lindsay, so glad it was helpful.
Some are true breadcrumbers, but there may be other reasons...like autistic burnout. It's not healthy for a partner to be on the outside of that burnout and not know, but it's important to communicate even if it seems like the end. Without communication we are just guessing/assuming. It is on them to readjust/get help, so there are some better coping skills.
Thank you for watching and sharing : )
I don't know why UA-camrs keep trying to explain everything with dopamine. the reason why we don't detach is because we don't want that person to disappear from our life so even a minimal contact fuels the hope that there is some possibility of recovering this relationship or that it can go back to how it was at the beginning.
So you're saying that minimal contact creates a dopamine rush in your nervous system (Among other things obviously) nothing is as simple as one molecule and yet biochemistry matters. Thanks for watching.
FaB advice 💥🎯💥 Gr8 video
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.
Love your videos!! Thank you so much!
You're most welcome, Audria.
Not if you walk away
You are the best!
Thank you, Heather!
Until you say f you and find an upstanding man. And by then it will be no sweat off of your brow.
I like your energy :)
Thank you 😁
Sigh. I really wish that the onus wasn't still being put on women. You can't inspire pursuit in a man who has no interest in committing to anyone. There is no such thing as stopping a grown person from doing anything that they want to do. You are not going to seduce or charm him into realizing your value because it's not about you. You are just one of many shiny distractions that he is using for validation, sex, therapy, or fun. When you realize that a man is breadcrumbing you, WALK AWAY. If he shows back up trying to pursue you, give him ONE more chance only and DO NOT make him a priority. Keep it casual. Why? Because men like this always pretend to pursue you when they think that they are losing access to you. They still don't want you; they just want to make sure that you aren't going anywhere. So make him have to work for it and if he's truly interested, he'll step up. If he deems you as too much work, he'll disappear anyway.
It’s funny how it feels exactly like this from the other side, but with slightly different factors… I will fully commit and bend over backwards to improve a woman’s life… fix her car, cook for her, surprise her with gifts, plan romantic evenings, etc., but the first moment I ask for anything I’m told they can’t be responsible for emotionally supporting me, or that I’m only being nice because I want something.
Yea, I want reciprocation. Lol. You can’t imagine how many women have tried to gaslight me into thinking I shouldn’t have any needs.
As soon as I walk away, that’s when the breadcrumbing starts. Suddenly they realize how much better their life was with me in it. So, I give chances.. way too many, I know. I will hold out just for a simple “thank you”… ugh.
It has to do with narcissism ?
Sometimes but in many cases there are other issues.
You're excellent
Thank you so much, Juliet 😀
Oh damn, I didn't notice that I'm breadcrumbing my crush who also has a crush on me.
My main reason is because I'm not sure if she really likes me or not, but her friends said that her feelings are true, but for some reason I don't believe them, what do you think i should do?
I think you should talk to her face to face and find out what's true.
Thanks
How about getting a new Guy?! He will start to neglect you again if he is the type.
I got blocked after communicating my standards
If you communicated them with kindness and clarity then you dodged a bullet : )
Lol
Actually, you’re asking us to give this guy a break for being a jerk.
💎💎💎
Thank you for watching!
I’m even more confused now
Why? :)
Bernardo ur just best friend
Thank you for watching : )
Omg I was breadcrumbed for 3 years lol 😒
🌸🌺🌸🌻🌺 And so the answer is...??
You'll have to watch the video to get the nuances : )