How Sexual Assault Has Affected Our Relationship | {THE AND} Kate & Gabriela
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- Опубліковано 28 чер 2024
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Kate & Gabriela, best friends for 9 years, have found it in them to overcome incredibly difficult circumstances without giving up their bright and fiery spirits. Gabriela is visibly raw speaking to her #metoo experience dealing with sexual assault, and Kate reaffirms her commitment to her best friend while reflecting on the new stage of their relationship.
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Director | Nick D'Agostino
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Camera Operators | Nick D'Agostion & Hans Lueders
Editor | Dane Benko
With the Participation of | Kate & Gabriela
How Sexual Assault Has Affected Our Relationship | {THE AND} Kate & Gabriela - Розваги
Soul mates aren't just for romantic relationships, but also friendships. You can see that right here. There's such a wonderful energy and understanding between these two it's so encompassing.
“Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.”
― Candace Bushnell, Sex and the City
"what happens to you happens to me" 6:13
yes! reminds me of the book Text Me When You Get Home about friendships between womxn. it's so beautiful
Energy bwtn women is like that 😂 men are too afraid to talk about another man in a way most women talk about their genuine love for another woman platonicly. We dont care if anyone assumes it's gay 😂
Female friendships are soo powerful. I'm so lucky to have one like this
Elizabeth Meilijson you really are
I can’t wait to have something like this one day
I have one as well, accept I am a man and my best friend is also. In real relationships there is just no room for pretence.
From those of us that never got our day in court-thank you Gabriela. You’re a light.
And from those of us that did to no avail thanks to such a broken, ignorant system... keep it up & fight that shit until it's over.
I watched my rapist plead 3 felonies down to a single misdemeanor but, I never regretted it because I know what he did even if the Court wouldn't acknowledge it. And I SURVIVED.
Sending love and hugs to all my fellow survivors. We're amazing
@@katieann917 you are a warrior girl!
Thank you for us that werent strong enough to file a report and peruse legal action.
Wow. What a beautiful connection between two people
I am your 1000 like
This is female empowerment.
""Don't give up. Don't settle, in any regard. Keep pushing. Don't get too comfortable. No complacency." excuse me while I get this tattooed on my face
I can't believe the level of maturity for 26!? I was a single cell organism at their age.
It's amazing how trauma makes you grow & mature. I was first assaulted when I was 22. Now I'm 30 & all I've done since it happened is grow & better myself.
I think me too ...
I mean they are not mature. The way they talk, how they express themselves, especially the left one, is sooo immature and uncomfortable to watch. It's not natural. It seems they are acting even when they hit really deep subjects, they can't stay still and just listen to each other carefully and respectfully.
I am sorry, but at the age of 27 you should be more mature than these two.
@@vivienm2037 they both bring each other so much comfort and that's all that matters. Keep your judgments about immaturity to yourself.
@@krahzeekat6164 Can I cry over this comment all night? Probably hugging my plushies too, they give me comfort.
This made me really miss female friendships and im just throwing that out into the universe.
Phoebe Winks I'll be your friend!
Phoebe Winks Same girl
I know this was 8 months ago but i agree. I miss having friends in general, but most of all a close friend i can tell things to
@@olliegirl22 same here. This kind of friendship is all I want.
olivia carter This is so relatable for me 💔. I hope you find yourself surrounded with good natured, caring, and loving people this 2019.
I got chills when Gabriela said Kate thanked her on behalf of all survivors. I honest to God shivered.
The bird that Youngjae holds in the Hard Carry MV.
So did I!!! Such powerful words!!
I had to pause and started crying. Ty Gabi. /a survivor
i cried
Yes exaxtly.. Shivered and cried
I wish I would have spoken up but after 3 years of torture, I am only just now confronting it a decade later...
Can you put subtiles for the deaf community who follows you! I really love your videos and would like to be able to enjoy them as much as i can
Yasmine Alg there is a "captions" option at the top right corner
@luxurykitty They're auto-captions, which are available on most videos. They're computer generated, which means they often have random errors that makes the dialogue not make sense and doesn't discern between who is speaking.
They're not really adequate. Transcribed captions are preferable.
Sierra S thank you! They actually make it so much harder and confuse it all!
@@sierras260 they changed it now!
Luxurykittie don’t be an asshole
The power of a sister circle. These women are power.
They are lucky to have each other as friends.
Are they taking friendship applications? Seriously though. Asking for myself haha. On a serious note - Their level of depth, honesty, trust, and commitment is what we should all strive for in relationships. They seem to have found their soul mate in each other. Its so very special and something to treasure. I LOVED getting a glimpse into such a beautiful bond. Thanks for sharing with us!
Rachelle Bartholomew agree!♡
Rachelle Bartholomew I cried for one minute straight thinking why can’t I ever get that friendship !?? Bc I stride myself in being an awesome , generous, understanding, loving person. Ugh I wish everyone were like them
They should be lovers haha
I was sexually assaulted recently on the night of my birthday celebration it ruined my life and I never reported it. I agree with the sentiment. Thank you on behalf of all victims. I look up to you so much.
I hope you're doing well. I hope you gave yourself the chance to break, and I hope you build again your broken pieces. I hope you're still able to trust people. I hope you came out of it with more love for yourself. I wish you the best. ❤️
I would like to call a survivor or a better word would be a fighter instead of victim... because you are strong.self sufficient nd amazing!!
I am so sorry you had to go through that
I am so so sorry you went through that. Please think of reporting it if you can. Lots of love
They almost have a tv friendship. They remind me of shows where two women who are complete opposites on the outside end up being the best of friends. Similar to Broad City or something. It's really cool to see!
Ione Shakur Well, one girl's name IS Gabby lol
Max Black and Caroline Channing 2 Broke Girls.
Ione Shakur a
"you have an ocean inside of you. a big, beautiful, pristine, salty ocean" omg so sweet:'''-)
Gabby, thank you on behalf of all survivors.
I understand the trepidation of the girl on the left about marriage/kids. There is a distance that is created whether you want it or not when you are single and your friends build a family. It’s tough.
Chelle Law you become an Aunt or Uncle your friendship only becomes weird for a second and then you grow with it....being an Aunt to my best friend daughter is one of the most amazing things especially after talking about it all our lives seeing her get married and being a mom is crazy because I remember arguing over baby dolls, boys, and clothing and now she's the woman who I can go to for all my fears and she can come to me for hers as adults it's beautiful....I miss having her here but it only was weird for a minute lol
Yeah I'm worried abt that too, especially bc I don't really kids and I'm really uncomfortable with them
Can I get the the girl on the right's skin care routine????
I swear by The Ordinary products!!! This video was filmed a couple of months after I started incorporating them into my skincare regimen and my skin has NEVER looked better.
@@belle5384 I love TO! Which products do you use?!?
"you're awesome", "I'm awesome" *high five*
Sexual assault is a very serious topic.We gotta do something against any type of this kind of behavior.
I'm 23 and still haven't found a friend like either of them... Now accepting applications.
Where do I sign up?
@@warrior_9726 I second this lol
@@nikki7287 we could be friends
Me too. Btw you're gorgeous girl!
@@elizabethunger9190 isn't she?
I enjoy when 2 people look each other directly in the eyes and don't break away, something beautiful about it
I love that they hold each other accountable and don't shy away from being direct and so beautifully honest. They speak truth both gently and slightly forcefully and it comes from a place of pureness, simply wanting good for one another. I would also like to thank them for their willingness to be this open.
😭😭😭💔 goodness..... Literally sobbing because of the assault.. & she's going to trial & she's so incredibly strong... they are both so so so incredibly strong & wow... I am so so so sorry. I just want to send you healing, love, & someone who loves you exactly as you deserve.
I do love their friendship though.
The one going to trial wasn't just an incidence of assault, it was ongoing domestic abuse (she talked about getting rid of him, and they talked about an abuse of trust). So it would have included assaults and other psychological/emotional damage.
Awh , I want to hug her so bad . I chose not to take the legal route so I admire the strength she possesses. I could never ever . I haven't even told my mom or anyone in my family , my therapist . Glad she has such an awesome friend. Need one of those friendships in my life
Joy Mechell Sometimes although it's hard seeking help like talking to your therapist will help you lots, you may not think it but after the moment you let go and share with someone who'll listen is truly a great feeling and will help you gain your strength and self love. I was so closed off and still is but talking to my therapist let a lot of stress of my shoulders.
Zariyah Rakari my situation is kind of hard to explain . I only started therapy a year ago because I was hellbent on killing myself and prayed that if I was just given a place to go , I'd get help . A day later I found a place. Even though I needed the therapy , I didn't necessarily want to be there . When I get scared of uncomfortable I get defensive, and I gave my therapist the worst attitudes some times . We argued almost every session , while other times I was at peace or just broke down crying . She eventually got tired of me and sent me to someone new , but somehow I couldn't do it . Last week she agreed to see me , and all I could tell her was that something traumatic happened , but I couldn't get the words the words out . What happened has been running through my mind so much lately I've come close to having a panic attack twice 🤷🏽♀️😩 I just don't get why I'm remembering stuff now
Joy Mechell No-one knows you better than you but perhaps by reaching out like this you are ready to start talking? You sound incredibly brave and amazing but there’s no need to go through things alone. I’m sure there are so many people that would want to help you if you let them. Wishing you all the best and sending you so much love.
Monicha Tully thanks boo❤️ I think I am ready to share , and I have once on a #metoo chapter on wattpad, but it's easier to type than say out loud . Right now it's harder since thoughts and unwanted memories are hitting me left and right . I'm scheduling a session for next week with my new therapist . I just hope I can say it and get through this . I also wish I had a friend to share it with but 🤷🏽♀️
You are a very brave person Joy. And I admire your courage of considering sharing that with someone. I think you will share it - and don't put pressure on yourself. See how this new therapist is and once she gains your trust, you will just know that you can trust and tell her everything piece by piece. Good luck. Sending hugs from Romania
This brings up demons I've been fighting for almost 10 years. You are strong and beautiful. Your voice means a lot to all survivors
Analise Soraya Your name is beautiful
They are gorgeous. For some reason I thought they were going out together and speaking some secret code language, it was a confusing 3 minutes.
Aladdin THE Chihuahua spaniel I literally got the same vibes!!! I thought I was the only one who saw that
Mahogani Keith I’m so glad that you seen this too!
Aladdin THE Chihuahua spaniel which minute?
Aladdin THE Chihuahua spaniel you can't tell the difference between a sexual relationship and a platonic one nowadays with this generation of girls.
Yeah I thought so too
Woah, I went to university with Gabby, and its funny how I always thought she was the coool girl haha, so kudos to staying cool! Very inspiring video, and I have to say you two are lucky to have each other because it's not always easy to have lifetime best friends around. LOVE
Tweety Bitz Hey do you know how her trail went?
@@kateekuhlman3637 no I'm not aware, sorry! Hopefully it went well.
God,i don't even have this good of a friend in my life. They are good for each other- they give each other a push when needed and i can feel the love even through the screen.
Where i went wrong?... I need to do some exploring myself.
Eva T let's be best friends then!
My mother used to always tell me that you'd be lucky in life to have one great friend. She wasn't wrong.
This channel gives me hope
I went to trial last december because of a sexual abuse.
You‘re so strong to even go to trial! You‘re gonna feel so good, no matter how its gonna be/end. (Sorry if my english wasnt all right)
Jo An that's so brace of you ❤️ what gave you the courage ? I still haven't told a soul besides a counselor who basically forced me to say something since I seemed uncomfortable and left a question about it blank on a questionnaire I had to do. Thinking about trials , or even police involvement scares me . I wish I was as brave as other people , but I also don't regret my choice of keeping it a secret . I know I wouldn't have liked the outcome
Joy Mechell Joy Mechell (from my experience) it took me 5-6 years to say anything and you don’t know how much I regret not saying anything when it happened. I am still having so many issues till this day. I went through self harm , to suicidal thoughts , to just hating every bit of myself. Because I took so long to say anything it was my word against his, he got off the hook and what sucks the most is that he is my mothers brother. I try my best to avoid ever seeing him because I shut down and have horrible anxiety attacks. But because I didn’t say anything he got away. I always wonder how things would be if I said something back then. Would he be in prison? What if he’s done it to someone else? To his daughter? His step kids? It all haunts me till this day. Just know that you are not alone , I know it’s been a couple of months since you wrote this but I hope you see this. You are strong , you are beautiful and nothing was/is your fault. 💖 it is your choice at the end of the day ..
I wish that every woman can have a female bond like the two women shown here. What a beautiful thing to see such a selfless friendship between two women, which is becoming extremely rare nowadays. Courage and encouragement are such wonderful things to witness
Is it just me or do they look like different race versions of the same person?? Like their faces are the same shapes and proportions with very minimal differences. It's quite bizarre but interesting.
wow. i thought so too
Noo
Haha yees
SuperSimoholic lol not at all
My thoughts too
i love how they can just look at each other and they understand each others thoughts. Im actually crying right now
wow how can i get a friendship like that :( im 20 years old and i dont have deep friendships how does this work
It’s hard. I think at 20 it may not be possible. A lot comes w life experience, trust & being truthful with yourself. Then be so terribly vulnerable. I am 41 & have one Ride or Die- well two including my husband. It will happen! At 20, 30 or beyond!
You need to buy alot of food for them, also give them rided
Rides'
I think it's about figuring out who seems like a loving person, who can see your perspective, then open up to them. Dare to make yourself a little bit vulnerable. Tell them a little about what you are dealing with and hopefully after a while they will open up to you too.
k kwassup right ? Like where do you find people like this ?
I want a friendship like this so badly
yung bullshit me too but females are shady and mean 😞
I'm crying. What a beautiful friendship.
You both are amazing. I tried to take my abuser to court. I went to an attorney who told me they would tear me apart, rip through my diary, make me relive every detail, and that it's guilty until proven innocent. I decided not to take him to court because I couldn't handle it at the time. I admire your strength and resilience. And yes, on behalf of all survivors, thank you.
Stay kool & dont settle in any regard
They are soulmates. This one is so personal to me. #metoo
Thank you for this.
Such amazing emotional intelligence. So impressive
I cried throughout this whole video because Recently me and my childhood best friend had a fight and we aren’t talking anymore, I practically grew up with her, we knew each other since we were 4 years old and since then we were inseparable. We went through everything together, we both had gotten sexually abused around the same time and we were the only ones there for one another. I just hope she does well in life.
being a survivor of sexual abuse, or any abuse, is a double edged sword. if you're quiet, then nobody knows what happened to you and your abuser gets away with it and can hurt other people. if you tell people, then it becomes your identity. you're a victim, you were abused, you're damaged. (and if you're like me, your fucking abusers gets away with it anyway)
i spent so many years voicing my stories, although there was no legal justice for either abuser i endured. but sometimes i wish i had stayed quiet. sometimes i wish i could move away and start over and being abused wasn't my identity. being stalked wasn't my identity. being emotionally tormented wasn't my identity. at the same time, i want people to know because i want my abusers to be known, i want people to know what i survived.
such a back and forth cycle. i can't imagine going through the full legal spiel of all of this- i have tried a few times only to be ignored and forgotten soon after submitting evidence and my police statements. i want justice, but i also wish i could move on.
This was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever watched. A connection like that is truly extraordinary. Wow.
My god...I cried with them. Heart breaking...I hope she already won the case or she wins. ❤️
I was at that state (I’m happy with just myself) when I was a teen, and I realized I could never form a romantic relationship with a man. Well, I’m over 30 now and the thought of a man touching me or loving me makes me very uncomfortable or sick, but I still love romance stories, fairytales, and seeing friends or family in happy relationships... I just don’t want it for myself. It’s odd and people don’t get it (for obvious reasons), but I’m very happy with who I am and I’m glad that other women can empower themselves through friendship :) Stay strong fellow survivors!
I have a friend like this. And yes, we are soulmates, and we knew that since day one. But she has a 4 year old relathionship and we're getting in that age where everyone is kinda settling and we talked about thit but she never said 'I will be always be there for you'. She just said that it's normal for people to kinda separate from each other when you find your significant other, and everything that comes with it. My parents tell me that all the time...but I really dont buy it. I would honestly for any of my best friends find time anyhow anytime
Danica same experience for me. I’m the type of person who always makes time for meaningful friendships and I hate that people dont prioritise my time to the same extent that I do for them
it’s different when your lover, your romantic soulmate becomes your best friend
Yes you make time for meaningful relationships always. But I am afraid it is natural that things don't remain the same. If your friend gets married and then things don't change a little then her marriage won't work. If you want it to remain the same ask yourself why what is going on with you.
I would really love to be able to say I'll always be there for you to my best friends, but how do you not grow apart when you all want different things for the future? Moving states, even countries from each other, how do you keep that same connection? Long-distance is draining and it's not the same as in person.
wow what a great friendship
I think it’s so beautiful to hear the effort that they put in with one another to become close friends. Hanging out twice a week feels like a lot of time to commit, but that’s what it takes to find and maintain close quality friendships.
Please do a update session with these two ladies. I've been worrying about certain outcomes and I am hopeful for them both
This is my favorite episode so far. Please do more friendship videos ❤️
Their 10 years from now is 36. I’m 36, and the me from 26 and now is so completely different. I had a friend like this, and we no longer speak. But I know that in 10 years, these 2 will be sisters even more so than now. ❤️
I am tearing up. These are two absolutely beautiful people.
Watched this again 3 years later and I still cry the same.
"A friend in need is a friend indeed." It's experiences like this that not only test the bonds of friendship but strengthen them so much more once the test is passed. May they always have each other to rely on as the soul sisters they are.
Jomanro that's from a song, isn't?
This reminds me so much of me and my best friend. These two women have an almost magical bond with one another. It is something that people find only if they’re lucky.
As a survivor myself, I know how disgusting the trial is and how strong it builds us into stronger women. I'm so proud of their strength and every single person who stands up! So proud of these women! Stay strong 💕
They are so honest with each other. That's how you can tell they love each other; they aren't afraid of saying what the other has to hear.
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. what a beautiful relationship wow
I cried through all of this. Thank you for sharing these stories. They matter so much. #metoo
Will I ever have such connection with a friend
I’ve been watching a few of these videos and I think this channel is doing amazing things. This is the best side of youtube, this is what’s important.
The rawness and realness is breathtaking! I see so much of myself what they are saying and I need the reminder that as an assault victim, it’s ok to not be ok and there yet. You ladies are incredible and I’m so glad you have each other’s support in life.
this was so beautiful and so needed, i caught myself crying because i relate but also because one day i hope to look as peaceful and strong as kate, and i hope that trial goes as speedy as possible so gabriela gets the justice she deserves and she can start the healing process, both of them are amazing women. made me feel like im not alone.
I have lots of friends but we never had a discussions like this.
This would help us to know our friends even more.
Their strength and resilience is absolutely amazing. I’m so so proud of them ❤️
They are so badass, they love eachother so much and I’m so proud of both of them.
I really hope their friendship lives on for years to come. The dynamic is beautiful!! Much love to these two Gab and Kate!
I had a girl best friend, and we got separated when we went to different schools, and she got married later in the two years that followed😢😭😭😢I miss her so much. Things are so different now.
I have meself a bit best friend, and it's the craziest friendship, totally different kind of love. I loves him lots.
Two beautiful experiences❤❤❤❤❤
*boy Best friend😋 oops
The confidence in the way they speak and certainty of their friendship exhibited towards each other is so inspiring and it makes me want to be more comfortable with myself. ❤️
The parallels between the two of them and my best friend(s) and I with the same situations....damn. We are so lucky to have the support we do in life. Thanks for this. That first question was amazing
Sending you two so much love and strength. I'm also a survivor and this connection filled me with warmth and some peace.
I also went to court because of my rapes...it isn't easy, you are so strong.
And
You aren't alone....I stand with you, behind you, and by your side.
So beautiful! I wish a had a friend that a could empower that much and the other way around. It’s just so emotional watching it makes me cry. I always wished for friends and to share our life experiences together.
this is so beautiful
and knowing the girl going through the trauma through her trial. and knowing I’m going to trial for my case is really nice to hear bc cases rarely go to trial. I really needed this video right now.
I don't know how to word this but with the whole silver linings blah blah, I'm just glad she got a trial. I was so close to tears through this because I could understand what was going on without any direct words or the title to the video. I was told it happened but it was consensual... I'd have no idea who would actually do that...(especially because of my situation of it being a stranger in an alley) but yes. this video gives me life
this is how i feel about my best friend. she’s literally my soulmate and god id do anything for her. this warms my heart so much. so proud of both of them :)
I pray that everything worked in your honor. You are a blessing just sharing your story. Never allow someone take your spirit, your love, your honesty, especially your trust away. You are BEAUTIFUL in so many ways. Your worth is remarkable. Love, Live and laugh your ass off. NEVER STOP
I second for all of us who never have had our day in court....I am both envious and anxious for you...be brave and no as you do it for you ...you are doing it for all living without that resolve ,but we get to experience a taste of it threw woman like yourself ...sending you both so much love light and healing strength courage forgiveness so you can make space for new things to happen..I pray you let it leave you the hold ..release you💙🌹💙
I always tell my bestie "we're the same person" .me and her are just so in sync, these ladies are one half of the same soul. U can see and feel those connections, its just so beautiful pure.
Two sides of the same coin. What a cool connection to see, especially in a platonic relationship!!!
Man my throat hurts... holding in the emotions this video is bringing
Same....I HATE showing my emotions.
Wow skin on point!!!
I'm bawling. So amazing and healing and hopeful.
I’m crying so much right now.... I’m so happy that she was more brave than I was... thank you so much sister on behalf of all survivors.
Thank you on behalf of all survivors x
" I love myself " that made me smile :)
Rewatching and I love their self confidence, I love their friendship and their communication. I love them.
Everyone needs a friendship like this. This was beautiful to watch.
What a beautiful friendship
I love this 😍 I love this channel always makes me smile and think about stuff that we might be ignorant to in real life relations ☺️ and Dayum people are so pure if given a chance to be 🦋 much love
Thank you Chaudhary 0029. we couldn't agree more. We'll keep on doing the work and keeping up the deep. :)
This channel always makes me happy and smile love it
thanks princess shukri :)
When she said #MeToo.. everything connected with their relationship.. how and why they met. This is beautiful. Thank you for this educational video
This friendship is so inspiring
Kate is very beautiful! That dewy fresh look wow!
What these two have is beautiful. Their mindsets are beautiful. They’re beautiful. They both deserve all the happiness and healing this world has to offer 💗
unbelievably proud of her. thank you!
I met my best friend when we were 13, we are 26 now and I consider her more than a sister. She knows me better than my parents or my brother will ever do. I'm so thankful to have her in my life ❤
Ugh I need a good friend like this. They’re so precious with one another I love them 💕
this was so calming and made me feel safe.
Love their friendship, I only hope that me and my friends can sit down and have honest conversations like this in the future. This is amazing.