Advice to Women | Ali Siddiq Stand Up Comedy

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  • Опубліковано 23 кві 2024
  • Public service announcement to all the women out there.
    Tour Dates:
    April 26: Augusta
    April 27: Chattanooga
    May 3: Portland
    May 4: Sacramento
    May 10: Louisville
    May 11: Huntsville
    May 17: St Louis
    May 18: Cincinnati
    June 1: Bloomington IN
    Tickets: alsiddiq.com
    Check out tour dates: www.alisiddiq.com/
    Connect on social media!
    Instagram: alisiddiq?...
    Facebook: / ali.siddiq.92
    TikTok: / thealisiddiq
    Twitter: / ali_speaks
    Ali Siddiq is a stand-up comedian, public speaker, and writer out of Houston. Ali’s unique style of stand-up began behind the walls of incarceration, an incubator for interesting experiences and good stories.
    People received their first taste of Ali Siddiq when he appeared on HBO's DEF COMEDY JAM and LIVE FROM GOTHAM, and in 2013 he was named Comedy Central's "#1 Comic to Watch". In 2014, Ali impressed comedy enthusiasts by displaying his ability to captivate an audience with his "Mexicans Got On Boots" tale, descriptive storytelling, with over 15 million views, of a prison riot on THIS IS NOT HAPPENING, the first of three appearances. His stories continued with his HALF HOUR special, which premiered on Comedy Central in the fall of 2016. Immediately following the premiere of that special, Comedy Central offered Ali an hour-special where he performed for inmates live in a Texas jail, sending Ali back to where it all started. The hour special, Ali Siddiq: It’s Bigger Than These Bars, premiered in February 2018 on Comedy Central. In 2019, Ali could be seen as a Top 5 finalist on NBC’s BRING THE FUNNY. Most recently, Ali could be seen as a guest on THE JOE ROGAN EXPERIENCE.
  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 171

  • @AliSiddiqComedy
    @AliSiddiqComedy  27 днів тому +3

    THE DOMINO EFFECT PART 3: FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL will be premiering on UA-cam on Mothers Day, this Sunday May 12th!
    ua-cam.com/video/Z0P3B6-8R6w/v-deo.html
    Catch up on Domino Effect 1 & 2 before you watch 3….
    DE1: ua-cam.com/video/EsKDNZQhVX0/v-deo.html
    DE2: ua-cam.com/video/nvofZaBh7wA/v-deo.html

  • @nathanelliott7897
    @nathanelliott7897 Місяць тому +142

    “Charles, 37, missing”😂😂😂😂💀💀💀

    • @IFBBProYeo
      @IFBBProYeo Місяць тому

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👏👏👏👏👏

  • @OmgWtfTsuji
    @OmgWtfTsuji Місяць тому +46

    I lost it at "You agile, ain't nobody gonna get you."

  • @ashleyh6407
    @ashleyh6407 Місяць тому +240

    I love him and his stand up, and what he says here is so true. Women are taught from an early age to be polite. If someone is all ready at the point of trying to take you to a separate location STOP BEING POLITE . Fight, scream, throw your stuff at a crowd of people. Scream fire! Don't let yourself taken to a secondary location.

    • @lcam9241
      @lcam9241 Місяць тому +7

      👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾

    • @bklyngirlost
      @bklyngirlost Місяць тому +22

      The slogan I just learned for this the other day is “Be weird. Be rude. Stay alive.”

    • @cme4743
      @cme4743 Місяць тому +18

      Agreed. I also think the issue can be attributed to the fact that the girls always get this talk, but boys don’t always get the talk about respecting women’s boundaries and free will.

    • @kalis.891
      @kalis.891 Місяць тому

      ​@@cme4743this here!!

    • @noworriesimfijian
      @noworriesimfijian Місяць тому +2

      My partner of two years has three girls aged 10,14, 15. They’ve never had a father figure but they can’t understand why I’m over protective to the point where we don’t let them walk to the neighbourhood shop. It’s because today’s world isn’t the same one we grew up in. Trying to teach them to have discipline, self esteem and assertive is absolutely essential in this day and age. Respect Ali for this humorous but common sense approach to something that could very well save their life. God bless from Fiji👍😎🙏🤙🇫🇯

  • @markofisaiah1449
    @markofisaiah1449 Місяць тому +200

    "No YOU get in the truck !" 😆

  • @ryder1584
    @ryder1584 Місяць тому +94

    😂 carrying a sleeping child is definitely a intense game of jenga. We love you Ali & thank you for bringing laughter to pain.

  • @DoYouRobot
    @DoYouRobot Місяць тому +78

    You agile 😂

  • @aliengranpa
    @aliengranpa Місяць тому +111

    Bonus tip Ali, always scream "fire" instead of help. People run to help when there's a fire.

    • @BusinessWolf1
      @BusinessWolf1 Місяць тому +10

      This. This times 1000.

    • @PurpleHazePro
      @PurpleHazePro Місяць тому +3

      They don’t run away? 😭

    • @AK-jt7kh
      @AK-jt7kh Місяць тому +5

      I always hear that, but if I hear fire I am running away. I'm not running to help. Who are these lunatics that are like "Fire? I better get in on that"

    • @aliengranpa
      @aliengranpa Місяць тому +1

      @@AK-jt7kh me! If there's a fire you run to help people. There could be children or pets trapped. Who DOESN'T run to help??

    • @bensthekey1195
      @bensthekey1195 Місяць тому +1

      Aint no way boy 😂 thats dumb , nobody but a fireman Will run towards fire, u Will be missing like a mfa

  • @jharris9108
    @jharris9108 Місяць тому +23

    I am so glad he chose a life as a comedian cuz he is incredible he's just too funny he can turn any serious situation to something to laugh about while still making you think and be responsible😅

  • @rodseay1005
    @rodseay1005 Місяць тому +18

    You get in the trunk
    No u get in the trunk- Brother Ali U wild boy😂

  • @kylevondoyle
    @kylevondoyle Місяць тому +13

    You’re changing stereotypes , narratives, and opening eyes and hearts on so many levels.
    The world needs more people like you

  • @jenniferd.820
    @jenniferd.820 Місяць тому +94

    Not you messing with that man like this Ali 🤣🤣🤣. My uncle staged a fake kidnapping with one of his buddies helping him, my little short self used my backpack as a weapon after I bit one of them 😂

    • @MsMakeba
      @MsMakeba Місяць тому +10

      You're his favorite niece, right?!
      😂😂😂
      "Leave my uncle alooooone!" 😬🎒😄

    • @jenniferd.820
      @jenniferd.820 Місяць тому +11

      @MsMakeba I am lol but that didn't stop him from catching a few licks 🤣🤣

    • @Joybrowne1989
      @Joybrowne1989 Місяць тому +1

      Tmo😂😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

    • @ciggyfreud
      @ciggyfreud 22 дні тому +1

      Oml this is too good 😂 I was also a biter, goddamn kids can be scary 😂😂

  • @LtheDetective
    @LtheDetective Місяць тому +17

    "U get in the truck!"
    "Naw...U get in the truck!"
    😂😂😂

  • @vene4739
    @vene4739 Місяць тому +15

    The delivery of this serious topic is comical, which makes it memorable. Thank you!

  • @dtayl303
    @dtayl303 Місяць тому +59

    Ali is the best in the game right now..point blank...fxckin fight me...

  • @disgruntledvet28
    @disgruntledvet28 Місяць тому +21

    Bruh when you started describing carrying a dead weight child upstairs I laughed soooo hard almost choked on my peanuts 😂😂😂😂

  • @TT-kp3cz
    @TT-kp3cz Місяць тому +29

    So true, we learned as kids to drop to the ground and start kicking and screaming. We love you Ali for saying something 😘❤️

  • @fontainelebrock345
    @fontainelebrock345 Місяць тому +7

    Ali is a national treasure!! Protect this man!! Also I’m telln my daughter to do what Ali said

  • @kishamceady1359
    @kishamceady1359 Місяць тому +11

    Do you have a van😂😂😂😂

  • @KemyLynn
    @KemyLynn Місяць тому +19

    That is why I like the ATL's Papoose.
    ..Former Husband of Remy Ma....teaching his Baby Girl To Box.

  • @Shawn-ne6ld
    @Shawn-ne6ld Місяць тому +16

    Love my brother. Voice, slang, lingo, storytelling and humor. I could listen to him all day ❤️💯💯💯🇺🇸🇺🇸😛👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @treykellybell8583
    @treykellybell8583 Місяць тому +17

    In Baltimore, if we ever see a headline about a missing man, he’s usually somewhere dead and they didn’t find the body yet.

  • @essencenicole9731
    @essencenicole9731 Місяць тому +16

    I'm so upset that there's no pan to the spooky kidnapper!!😂🤣😂🤣

    • @cme4743
      @cme4743 Місяць тому +2

      Right!😂😂

  • @imadiawara7577
    @imadiawara7577 Місяць тому +7

    he really is the best comedian out here. so wholesome and so hilarious

  • @GinaJonesStillettoQueen
    @GinaJonesStillettoQueen Місяць тому +7

    Even dogs do this whenever they dont want to go anywhere 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @au.ru.
    @au.ru. Місяць тому +7

    I never heard of this tip before, mostly how to fight back. I think it's solid, thanks for the heads-up Ali! 💕

  • @gabriellehanks6850
    @gabriellehanks6850 Місяць тому +13

    I love how he starts off all serious with his jokes and then drops comedic gems sprinkled with life lessons...🤣💖

  • @monnie1027
    @monnie1027 Місяць тому +19

    He is sooo funny and always giving awesome advice 😁👍
    He is a Awesome comedian!❤ his shows! I was raised to always know your surroundings at all times, and your keys are a weapon when sticking through your fingers. My Dad was x- military, I'm so thankful that he taught me how to stay safe!😊

  • @bighomieJ5X
    @bighomieJ5X Місяць тому +5

    Ali, killing the game right now, 💯👏🏾👏🏾

  • @beatrice81
    @beatrice81 Місяць тому +15

    Great to wake up with this. Ty

  • @chocolategirl443
    @chocolategirl443 Місяць тому +9

    Ali is ALWAYS hilarious 😂

  • @MrsNewland318
    @MrsNewland318 Місяць тому +17

    Thoughtful PSA!!!!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾#awesomedad #mygriot

  • @jaredsandoval1941
    @jaredsandoval1941 Місяць тому +4

    Can not wait for show in North Carolina in the 14th

  • @allareasindex7984
    @allareasindex7984 Місяць тому +2

    Yell FIRE! FIRE!
    Everybody love to look at a fire.

  • @prettyblkgyrl74
    @prettyblkgyrl74 Місяць тому +3

    But why Ali roasting the kidnapper, sitting in the audience, to his face 🤣🤣🤣 -- you look spooky 🥴🤭
    Ali is hands down my favorite comedian 🙌🏾🤎... I've seen him perform live 3 times & I'm looking forward to seeing him live every time he's in my area 😂

  • @RealLadi228
    @RealLadi228 Місяць тому +5

    It's like someone jumping in your car unexpectedly and tell you to drive?
    Yeah sure right into the Walmart wall or the first wall we see or hell oncoming traffic!!!😅

  • @southerngrace1106
    @southerngrace1106 Місяць тому +4

    Agility is key! 😂

  • @TheLovely990
    @TheLovely990 Місяць тому +5

    " No you get in the truck'😅😅😅😅

  • @angel_numbers
    @angel_numbers Місяць тому +3

    I'm excited to see you at the Koger Center 💯🏆✊🏾I just love your voice and stories.

  • @Thebestbuywizard
    @Thebestbuywizard Місяць тому +2

    Love it all praise to allah for this wonderful comedian just a good human trying to make ends meet and bring joy to the poeple

  • @WillowRose
    @WillowRose Місяць тому +2

    That’s actually good advice❤

  • @siegephoto3175
    @siegephoto3175 Місяць тому +1

    This bit is a keeper. Pure gold.

  • @joezed1316
    @joezed1316 Місяць тому +1

    OMG one of his best!

  • @nekneversleep
    @nekneversleep Місяць тому +1

    Very thoughtful! Thank you for this PSA

  • @christinajackson646
    @christinajackson646 Місяць тому +4

    He is the best!!!🤣🤣🤣👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

  • @susanmodeste9069
    @susanmodeste9069 Місяць тому +20

    My Dad taught me similar. Draw attention!!

  • @charnicecharles1080
    @charnicecharles1080 Місяць тому +4

    My secret weapon against abduction is boneless 💀 (I didn’t make this up, I think it’s a quote from a movie). Thanks Ali, for sharing this tactic with other women. Stay safe ladies!

  • @lashawnlott6404
    @lashawnlott6404 Місяць тому +1

    I am screaming…. I love this man 😂😂😂. Saw him live, he is amazing!

  • @ctsmith9527
    @ctsmith9527 29 днів тому +2

    💪🏾Gitcho gotdamn hands off me😂😂😂

  • @NBAallstar89
    @NBAallstar89 Місяць тому +5

    If that last part was a set up .. that’s crazy as hell 🤣🤣

  • @MEME-pj6if
    @MEME-pj6if Місяць тому +5

    Please come to Richmond Virginia Funny Bone

    • @804WUWG
      @804WUWG Місяць тому +1

      Richmond in the comments yuh

  • @cookiecookie8829
    @cookiecookie8829 Місяць тому +4

    You will not kidnap me without a fight!!! I will definitely make a big scene!!!

  • @ElleC2016
    @ElleC2016 Місяць тому +3

    Wait cross arms? We kickin faces 😂

  • @alleyas
    @alleyas Місяць тому +2

    ".. cuz on the day of judgement, I don't wanna be asked about "what did you say" and i said nothing" spoken like a true muslim👍🙏

  • @fazormcghee7936
    @fazormcghee7936 Місяць тому +5

    If a dude is doing anything to you, scream at the top of your lungs. A womans scream is a bat signal for all humanity. You hear a man scream everyones immediate thought is "what the fuck was that?" But if anybody hears a woman scream, everybody knows exactly what that was, is immediately alert and the police will be called if we cant figure out what caused it. My roomate screams at the sight of bugs and one day I had to sit her down and explain to her that she can't just be screaming like that for no reason because that shit triggers a sense of danger.

  • @chrishensley010
    @chrishensley010 Місяць тому +7

    😂😂😂 37yo Charles

  • @yoli8596
    @yoli8596 Місяць тому +1

    Ali you are by far the funniest comedian 💯💯💯💯💕💕💕💕

  • @MEME-pj6if
    @MEME-pj6if Місяць тому +3

    Good Morning. Thank for the funny

  • @DaBro1102
    @DaBro1102 Місяць тому +1

    Ali needs to be on Club Shay Shay

  • @Jon-pj7pu
    @Jon-pj7pu Місяць тому +3

    😂😂😂 good catch chair almost hit that mofo lol

  • @jeffreypinder9398
    @jeffreypinder9398 Місяць тому +6

    Too funny.

  • @valaneicethompson2907
    @valaneicethompson2907 Місяць тому +2

    I think I'm officially gonna be a stalker. I BEEN A FAN FROM DAY 1. I'm crying

  • @MsMakeba
    @MsMakeba Місяць тому +27

    "Getcho gahhhdayyum hands off me!!"
    "You agile - ain't nobody gon getchu."
    😂😅😂
    #comedywriter
    #StandUpComedian
    #casuallyhilarious
    #parentingtips
    #comedyspecial
    #youtube
    #comedyclips

  • @lilone030493
    @lilone030493 Місяць тому +2

    Didn’t Ali said that he got trucked before?? 😂🤨

  • @pattonmoore
    @pattonmoore Місяць тому +2

    Ali you're slightly wrong about men going missing. Out here in the wilderness some dude don't make it home all the time. Sometimes his old lady's boyfriend and him had a hunting accident...

  • @sherrionwilliams8820
    @sherrionwilliams8820 Місяць тому +1

    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I Love it ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @Deem_The1
    @Deem_The1 Місяць тому +2

    😂😂😂 Women yall get kidnapped which I don't know how but yall still getting kidnapped 😂😂😂😂 Ali is the GOAT

  • @coolocelot
    @coolocelot Місяць тому +2

    I actually did drop with my whole bodyweight to the floor to break the grip of an attacker but he was a marine and strong enough to pull me up, pin me in a corner and say it was happening whether I fight him or enjoy it. Grappling and self defense is a start but women need weapons in this world.

  • @gleesh9023
    @gleesh9023 Місяць тому +2

    Ali.. you were kidnapped!!. As a man we just don’t report it😂

    • @nativechique7589
      @nativechique7589 24 дні тому

      He was duct taped n put in a trunk i remmeber that one

  • @SamBassComedy
    @SamBassComedy Місяць тому +29

    Any guy that's missing, is only missing because he missing payments.

  • @Auraseven415
    @Auraseven415 19 днів тому

    Good advice👍 Where is Charles?🤣😂

  • @notfunnybutfunny7333
    @notfunnybutfunny7333 Місяць тому

    oh i cant breathe. but thanks for the advice

  • @sentekiwanuka8968
    @sentekiwanuka8968 Місяць тому +1

    2:02-2:25!🤣

  • @TonyaJones0788
    @TonyaJones0788 Місяць тому +3

    Ali is a mess, extremely funny! You don’t need to cuss, you are naturally funny!🙌🏽🎊🥳🧁🌸

  • @user-zr8gk5ui2d
    @user-zr8gk5ui2d Місяць тому +1

    You funny 🤣🤣❤

  • @tgrice601
    @tgrice601 Місяць тому +3

    Where is the link to go watch 3 & 4

    • @AliSiddiqComedy
      @AliSiddiqComedy  Місяць тому +1

      www.moment.co/alisiddiq

    • @tgrice601
      @tgrice601 Місяць тому

      @@AliSiddiqComedy i just watched 3 maybe I shouldn’t have watched it while IN the hospital cause i just told this nurse who wants to do EVERYTHING by the BOOK “YOU OLE BOOK(FILE) READING AS BITCH” 😂😂😂and rolled over this particular nurse been working my nerves all morning!! But even if they kick me out the hospital THANK YOU for helping me pass this time and making my stay a lil better

  • @Norma1250
    @Norma1250 Місяць тому +1

    I DON'T WANNA LOOK 😂😂😂

  • @Trust.The.Process.
    @Trust.The.Process. Місяць тому +2

    Blink blink blink ma'am hahaha

  • @RenRen961
    @RenRen961 Місяць тому +1

    I love your comedy but sometimes I can't always listen because of some of the expletives I love the most HIGH so its a little uncomfortable BUT YOU ARE GREAT😂

    • @KailaniASMR
      @KailaniASMR Місяць тому

      I promise you The Most High does NOT care about the language…Respectfully ❤….the way you have been trained causes YOU to care…and YOU are a part of the Most High ❤

  • @fern10011
    @fern10011 Місяць тому +3

    We women also need self-defense training. I assume most abductions don't take place in public, so screaming won't necessarily help. We need to be careful outside and avoid isolated places, unless we are fully prepared for a surprise attack.

  • @mikerobinson9627
    @mikerobinson9627 Місяць тому +2

    😂 👏🏼👏🏼

  • @redridinghood1980
    @redridinghood1980 Місяць тому +1

    ..omg😌😆

    • @redridinghood1980
      @redridinghood1980 27 днів тому +1

      ..wn u catch a heart from Ali: 🤔💭🙂‍↔️🥴😍🥰😌😁😆

  • @BEAUTYFUL18
    @BEAUTYFUL18 Місяць тому +4

    DONT THINK NOBODY WANT TO ABDUCT ME. I FIGHT. AS A GIRL ALL I FOUGHT WAS BOYS. AS A ADULT I DONT HIT OR FIGHT MEN FOR THE HELL OF OT. BUT IF YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME OR ACT LIKE IT. TRUST ME IM FIGHTING. DONT CARE HOW BIG YOU ARE NON OF THAT. ASK ME WHY AS A LITTLE GIRL I HAD A ABUSIVE DADDY THAT WAS 2 TIMES BIGGER THAN ME. AND HE WAS ABUSIVE TO ME AND EVERY WOMEN HE BEEN WITH . SO THAT MADE ME IN TO THIS. ANYBODY I DATED INCLUDING MY HUSBAND. LET KNOW FROM BEGINNING . DONT ATTEMPT😂💪🏿. BECUASE I WILL TURN IN TO THE HUMAN FORM OF SATAN😂. AND HAVE TO PRAY ABOUT IT LATER.

  • @ConspirHerSee
    @ConspirHerSee Місяць тому +1

    Dead weight is something I never thought of.😂

  • @ZLM88
    @ZLM88 Місяць тому +2

    As funny as this is 🤣 it's actually good advice 👍🏾

  • @gond9166
    @gond9166 Місяць тому +2

    ❤😂❤

  • @petebarr780
    @petebarr780 Місяць тому +1

    He is a comedian you take your girl to go see on date night. Get her some drinks and food and you might be on to something 😂

  • @hakimwiggins5735
    @hakimwiggins5735 Місяць тому +2

    Charles ,37 missing lol

  • @andrell_cool_dre
    @andrell_cool_dre Місяць тому +3

    You better believe if a man is “missing” he’s either hiding or not alive

  • @erronblack2937
    @erronblack2937 Місяць тому +1

    There was a man missing in Detroit one time.. i told my lady if I'm missing dont even coming looking because ist over... needless to say he turned up

  • @rhondahopkins4366
    @rhondahopkins4366 Місяць тому +3

    We be still missing because of our golden box

  • @user-ml4eb6ib6d
    @user-ml4eb6ib6d Місяць тому +2

    👑🦁🤦🏽‍♀️😊🥰

  • @sentekiwanuka8968
    @sentekiwanuka8968 Місяць тому +1

    True story…a woman in My home town of San Diego was abducted from A Vons Grocery store…in Broad Daylight…no less and No One helped her!

  • @robsoultrain1061
    @robsoultrain1061 Місяць тому +2

    😂😂😂

  • @zoloharris4305
    @zoloharris4305 Місяць тому +1

    😂😂😂bruh y!😂

  • @jasmainjasmain2906
    @jasmainjasmain2906 Місяць тому +1

    Lol!!! Funny but funny story… my aunt was kidnaped as a teen and while going down a street she risked and reached over to hit the gas pedal so and a cop pulled them over. Do something! Lbvs

  • @kingofthebes
    @kingofthebes Місяць тому +2

    MIA...Missing In America...😮

  • @nanisatinrose7772
    @nanisatinrose7772 Місяць тому +1

    😂😂😂😂

  • @ASleepingSwampert
    @ASleepingSwampert Місяць тому

    I think the whole, getting drinks paid for mechanic has something to do with it personally but I dont have any data.

  • @nanette52nc
    @nanette52nc Місяць тому +4

    1,000 views and only 181 Likes so far.....this man is hilarious run those Likes up ppl