Why young adults don’t need your advice | Terry Nguyễn | TEDxDeerfield

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  • Опубліковано 25 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 114

  • @EmpowerEmpathy
    @EmpowerEmpathy Місяць тому +11

    Wow… YES. She is DEAD ON with everything. Be Coaches. Not Parents. You
    wouldn't believe how much this shifts toward a more beneficial child-parent dynamic. Its a game changer. Love the flowers she put out for T Dog👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻💯 Women making history this year🙌🏻🏀

  • @DrJillianRigert
    @DrJillianRigert Місяць тому +12

    YES!!! Such an outstanding talk! Thank you, Dr. Nguyen!!! And congratulations!!!!

  • @jak77lezgo
    @jak77lezgo Місяць тому +11

    Pause, listen, validate, facilitate, believe in them

  • @loznja8
    @loznja8 Місяць тому +1

    This is how we should be with every close and intimate relationship. Advice that’s unwanted is pushing your own agenda as opposed to being present with the other persons pain and discomfort.
    Thank you so much for sharing such a beautiful reflection!!!

  • @rawsomehappy
    @rawsomehappy Місяць тому +5

    This applies to life partners not just our children

  • @kaleahcollins4567
    @kaleahcollins4567 Місяць тому +3

    Glad this came on after speaking with my eldest daughter. Thank you for this . Im going to share this.

  • @velvettrose2327
    @velvettrose2327 Місяць тому +70

    I came in quickly because of the title.😂

  • @ضوالقمر-ز7ذ
    @ضوالقمر-ز7ذ Місяць тому +6

    A good way to learn English language. I like this channel ❤❤❤❤

  • @MaryamArab-k9d
    @MaryamArab-k9d Місяць тому +1

    Honestly, i wanted to watch this video to improve my language ,but i impressed on her conversation about this subject ..

  • @nay13470
    @nay13470 Місяць тому +8

    Was this meant to make me cry? Lol as a parent I'd love to be there someday. I want my mom to get there too ❤

  • @IniWrites
    @IniWrites Місяць тому +1

    Wow, she's brilliant!

  • @Santa11488
    @Santa11488 Місяць тому +8

    Super subject, it is important to be addressed.❤❤

  • @psychicmediumtree8743
    @psychicmediumtree8743 25 днів тому

    Thank you for this talk

  • @sirajummoniranosaibha
    @sirajummoniranosaibha Місяць тому +1

    Dr. Tery is a magician.
    Manager Guide to Effective Coach Mode.
    Though I am 22 as well as a medical student, it is one of the most searched query on how to become a better parent.
    Helping me understand the relationship with my mother and father, as well as my children in future.
    The cheatcode here.
    Pause
    Listen
    Validate
    Facilitate
    Believe
    Hope I come back to this video over and over again, especially 10 years later.

    • @sirajummoniranosaibha
      @sirajummoniranosaibha Місяць тому

      I do have a question.
      There are kids who are always trying to look for solutions for their problems but aren't satisfied with any of the advice that they are given.
      When they really really want that advice , how can you deal with that situation so that it doesn't counterattack?

  • @myintmosan18
    @myintmosan18 Місяць тому +10

    heard, helped, or hugged?
    Super Duper video!!!!

  • @velvettrose2327
    @velvettrose2327 Місяць тому +18

    Do you want to be heard, hugged, or helped? 🫶🏾🫶🏾🌻🤍 I love this! I’m going to ask these questions with my 5 year old. ☺️

  • @Rahuldubey82422
    @Rahuldubey82422 Місяць тому +3

    It's superb..., very informative video 😊😊😊

  • @m_dott20
    @m_dott20 Місяць тому +1

    Grind your way through life 💪

  • @ElizabethMoary
    @ElizabethMoary Місяць тому +1

    *I'm glad you made this video,* it reminds me of my transformation from a nobody to good home, $89k biweekly and a good daughter full of love..

    • @Rufus-t3n
      @Rufus-t3n Місяць тому

      Please how ?

    • @ElizabethMoary
      @ElizabethMoary Місяць тому

      It's Maria Angelina Alexander doing she's changed my life. A BROKER- like her is what you need.

    • @ElizabethMoary
      @ElizabethMoary Місяць тому

      $356K monthly is something you should feel differently about....

    • @Anabel-y2w
      @Anabel-y2w Місяць тому

      Lovely! I enjoyed it like I enjoy a $100k monthly around the turn!!!

    • @MacosJames-r4u
      @MacosJames-r4u Місяць тому

      I know that woman (Maria Angelina Alexander)
      If you were born and raised in new York you'd know too, she's my family's Broker for 3yrs till now and a very good one if you asked me. No doubt she is the one that helped you get where you are!!!!

  • @DanH-u3f
    @DanH-u3f Місяць тому +2

    They always need good advice, especially in the US.

  • @A_Dream_world
    @A_Dream_world Місяць тому

    Thank you ma'am ❤

  • @askcesar
    @askcesar Місяць тому +2

    Love this!!

  • @Adham_tarek
    @Adham_tarek 26 днів тому

    To learn English ,guys, you should only do one thing. you should practice. Yaeh practice try to go back in time and imagine yourself as a baby.
    How could you learn your mother language?
    By listening, right
    Listening and trying to speak.
    try and make mistakes. it's fine, But in the end i promise you. you will do it❤

  • @LayaDivsalar-q1o
    @LayaDivsalar-q1o Місяць тому +1

    Be alfred for your young adults and collaborate with them
    I'm 19 years old and I want to use all this suggestions for my children in future😂❤😊

  • @CerejaStudies
    @CerejaStudies Місяць тому +2

    angel voice

  • @errolcorolla8653
    @errolcorolla8653 26 днів тому

    Thank u

  • @soniad1
    @soniad1 Місяць тому +1

    Being Alfred sometimes but not all the time is a better parenting style, in my opinion.

  • @JessicaL085
    @JessicaL085 5 днів тому

    My daughter is in FULL rebellion. She's 16," knows everything,"and mom is the "OPPS" who doesn't let her do anything."
    I saw her on the security cameras leave at 2:40am and come home at 4am. She smokes weed across the street at the park with a group of gang banger looking kids. She often screams at me and last week even tried to fight me.
    She has been in therapy for years after a traumatic accident that left her with permanent scars and nerve damage. I let her go with friends that are very rebellious, that cuss around me and have even tried to smoke inside my house.
    I let her express herself through piercings and dressing how she wants. Her grades are fair, and she is respectful to elders. Inside our walls i am the villian.
    Her friends that have been around since childhood talk to me about this new version of my daughter. They have always seen me as the "easy going mom" who lets you stay up late during sleepovers. Her friends ask me to hang out with them. I don't- i don't want to be seen as the friend. Not yet at least.
    With all of this said, I don't know what to do. I set up rules that she just breaks. I ground her and she sneaks out. I take her phone, she doesnt seem to care. I sent her to an NA class to hear people talk and she made a friend who i learned relapsed with my daughter around!
    I am terrified for her well-being.
    Her dad/my husband died when she was little. I wish he was here with me. To help me. 😢

  • @youarelegend-bio
    @youarelegend-bio Місяць тому +2

    Great🎉

  • @syahrulramadhan3814
    @syahrulramadhan3814 Місяць тому +2

  • @kk-xj5oz
    @kk-xj5oz Місяць тому +20

    They do not need your help they need people and the system to get out of their way. They need the possibilities that their parents had, they want a job that pays living wage, they want to be able to buy a house. They want the ability to take the risk that they choose.

    • @carolinebjerkelund767
      @carolinebjerkelund767 Місяць тому

      Thank you for not being a bot

    • @d.r.tweedstweeddale9038
      @d.r.tweedstweeddale9038 Місяць тому +4

      Yeah, they want everything handed to them on a silver platter & don't want to do the work to get there. Be the servant Alfred to your teens?! Get a grip, lady.

    • @kk-xj5oz
      @kk-xj5oz Місяць тому

      @@d.r.tweedstweeddale9038 kids these days are getting screwed by inflation, according to official statistics 15 dollars today equal 8 Dollars in 2000 and as we all know official statistics does not represent real inflation numbers. So it's much worse.

    • @egx161
      @egx161 Місяць тому +1

      Ahh. Get the soft pillow helicopter mom. The participation trophy. The world is a tough place. Just get your kids in tough situations and teach them that life is hard and full of challenges. Learn to say No. Too many rude, self absorbed, entitled people. Sorry. Not all kids are born the same. But they can all learn to accept No for an answer. If you get a good kid, support and respect them. Rotten kids? Not too much you can do. That’s life.

    • @louisrichards2792
      @louisrichards2792 Місяць тому

      A good work ethic is not learned from talk. It is by example. My kids never asked or needed money from me.

  • @Miriri222
    @Miriri222 Місяць тому +2

    this should be on her feed, not mine

    • @damianjwilson6750
      @damianjwilson6750 26 днів тому +2

      Well....hello future parent...It doesn't hurt to know something more and have some understanding of what's happening around you.
      You cannot change anyone's action. You can adjust yourself and learn to receive better so that you won't get hurt....and that comes with understanding.
      So chill...love everyone. No one is an enemy.

    • @Miriri222
      @Miriri222 26 днів тому

      @damianjwilson6750 appreciate the advice 🫂

    • @farukahamed2249
      @farukahamed2249 26 днів тому

      ​@damianjwilso😊😊😊😊n6750 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊h. 😊😊

    • @farukahamed2249
      @farukahamed2249 26 днів тому

      ​@@damianjwilson6750😊

  • @InternationalNewsChannel112
    @InternationalNewsChannel112 Місяць тому +2

    I come bcz i am preparing for IELTS 😂
    From Bangladesh 🇧🇩

  • @no_one514
    @no_one514 Місяць тому

    10:38am 10-24-24 THUR

  • @lethu25894
    @lethu25894 21 день тому

    Hi everyone! At the end I don't hear clarify 5 step. You can talk again to me this here, please. Thanks so much ❤

  • @arjunraina8686
    @arjunraina8686 29 днів тому

    👌

  • @Golgibaby
    @Golgibaby Місяць тому +2

    4:18 Secret sauce.

  • @temiloluwaogunjuwon455
    @temiloluwaogunjuwon455 Місяць тому +2

    Don't micromanage

  • @LayaDivsalar-q1o
    @LayaDivsalar-q1o Місяць тому

    What does sauce mean in this video?

  • @Siddharth_dif_n_dif_Co.427
    @Siddharth_dif_n_dif_Co.427 Місяць тому +2

    ✝️

  • @1STOP_GAMING
    @1STOP_GAMING 28 днів тому

    मेरे सदैश को डिलीट मत करना मैं विनती करता हूं 😢

  • @raymondlin8728
    @raymondlin8728 Місяць тому +6

    Lemme guess, they have Google, their friends, teachers. Who needs the parents except a free room, and food. Once they move out you never hear from them again

    • @velvettrose2327
      @velvettrose2327 Місяць тому +1

      @@raymondlin8728 everything has it’s time. They are bird(butterflies) they have to explore the world (life) and when the time comes they will fly back home. 🏠 ☺️ wish the best for you and love ones. 🤍

    • @carolinebjerkelund767
      @carolinebjerkelund767 Місяць тому +1

      @@velvettrose2327 Ya, when they get divorced.

    • @ElderMillenial-x7b
      @ElderMillenial-x7b Місяць тому +4

      If you never hear from your kids again, that's a YOU problem.

    • @az55544
      @az55544 Місяць тому +1

      Best to help this generation out the door on their 18th birthday or you'll have to evict them through court 😂

    • @carolinebjerkelund767
      @carolinebjerkelund767 Місяць тому

      @@ElderMillenial-x7b Read the comment below you. It is not a parent thing

  • @SujeeSujeekan
    @SujeeSujeekan Місяць тому +1

    I wot listen to this ted talk beacause i dont need your advice 😂

  • @jcp5890
    @jcp5890 Місяць тому +1

    Two words...
    Birth control

  • @d.r.tweedstweeddale9038
    @d.r.tweedstweeddale9038 Місяць тому

    Yeah, todays teens want everything handed to them on a silver platter & don't want to do the work to get there. Be the servant Alfred to your teens?! Get a grip, lady. Up to recently, kids had to work & contribute to the welfare of the family & community. You'd raise a world of babies who won't survive.

    • @iridescene637
      @iridescene637 Місяць тому +6

      Dude She provided specific context to What was being served: pause, hug or help.
      I would even argue this would make the kids more Self- driven as they take the wheel instead of the parent that like the server should Stay put at the sidelines unless needed

    • @Sareaesque
      @Sareaesque Місяць тому

      if you think Alfred is only a servant you clearly don't know the source material