Thank you, Rose, for sharing your story and being willing to be vulnerable. Your story and mine are nearly identical. Breaking locks, blocking exit, me locking myself in the car to get help and him literally running with my car banging on it and SCREAMING insults at me....I just left labor day after calling the police for the sixth or seventh time. I am now struggling to break the trauma bond. I find myself thinking I miss him, miss my marriage...and hearing your story helps me to regain my TRUTH.
@throughchristyseyes3417, this is a comment from Rose. Thank you for sharing a bit of your story. My heart goes out to you. I hear bravery in your words as you are standing against his abuse. Notice that and let it strengthen you. Breaking trauma bonds is not easy. Take time to grieve losses. One thing that helped me was to listen to audiobooks. Here are some suggestions: Lundy Bancroft, "Why Does He Do that"; George Simon "In Sheep's Clothing"; Bill Eddy, "Splitting", Margalis Fjelstad "Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist", etc. Books like these helped me to realize the truth of his character and that the man I thought I knew was a facade and never existed. Abusers have two versions: Dr. Jekyl, Mr. Hyde. The "real" man I was married to is not the "nice" version that everyone else knows. Instead, the "real" version of him is abusive. I hope that helps you. I'm touched that my story has helped you regain your truth. Please know, you do not deserve to be treated this way. Taking the step to get away from him is huge! Each step moves you toward freedom and healing. Lean on God to heal you and give you the strength you need.
Thank you, Rose, for sharing your story and being willing to be vulnerable. Your story and mine are nearly identical. Breaking locks, blocking exit, me locking myself in the car to get help and him literally running with my car banging on it and SCREAMING insults at me....I just left labor day after calling the police for the sixth or seventh time. I am now struggling to break the trauma bond. I find myself thinking I miss him, miss my marriage...and hearing your story helps me to regain my TRUTH.
@throughchristyseyes3417, this is a comment from Rose.
Thank you for sharing a bit of your story. My heart goes out to you. I hear bravery in your words as you are standing against his abuse. Notice that and let it strengthen you. Breaking trauma bonds is not easy. Take time to grieve losses. One thing that helped me was to listen to audiobooks. Here are some suggestions: Lundy Bancroft, "Why Does He Do that"; George Simon "In Sheep's Clothing"; Bill Eddy, "Splitting", Margalis Fjelstad "Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist", etc. Books like these helped me to realize the truth of his character and that the man I thought I knew was a facade and never existed. Abusers have two versions: Dr. Jekyl, Mr. Hyde. The "real" man I was married to is not the "nice" version that everyone else knows. Instead, the "real" version of him is abusive. I hope that helps you. I'm touched that my story has helped you regain your truth. Please know, you do not deserve to be treated this way. Taking the step to get away from him is huge! Each step moves you toward freedom and healing. Lean on God to heal you and give you the strength you need.