I found so many things you said resonated with me. 34 years married, left after finding hard drugs in the home, but things were bad for about the last 20 years. After I left my daughter confessed that she felt like she was raised by a single mother. Had no idea her perspective. I knew somethings was very wrong, but never had any proof until my discover. So much help here in discovery of my self and my actual issues and working on those and realized I couldn't stay healthy in the marriage. So my better and so much peace discovered.
Some of this sounds like my marriage. He has so much healing to do and so many resentments. He refuses to unpack the hurt. So it all stays bottled up and when I express a need he feels like it’s too much. Today I sent him a message asking and suggesting him to take more space/alone time. I know when we met in 95 he was living the ultimate bachelor life. I didn’t see him everyday because we lived 45 miles away so he had more autonomy. He was never going to get married or have kids and for some reason he bent that rule for me. But I feel there is a strong resentment in his heart and he doesn’t want to tell me for fear of me leaving him and having to pay child support etc.
I also can relate. And it's easy for h to make it seem like I am behaving jealously. A flight attendant was flirting with him and he said no defense of me, his wife next to him. Now I wonder if he initiated something because the and woman on two flights flirted. I talked with him about it after and he just wasn't receptive. That tells me he enjoyed making me "jealous" but what I actually felt was disregarded and not a priority to him, he's supposed to be working on our marriage after being in counseling this year since January.
Wow. Intuition has been feeling there’s a secret. Something isn’t right. And it hasn’t been for a long time. There’s something dark being hidden and I’m not sure if it’s an affair or a resentment or both
Literally my story 😮 It is shocking how similar those unhealthy patterns can be.
1000% on trusting your intuition and your GUT.
I found so many things you said resonated with me. 34 years married, left after finding hard drugs in the home, but things were bad for about the last 20 years. After I left my daughter confessed that she felt like she was raised by a single mother. Had no idea her perspective. I knew somethings was very wrong, but never had any proof until my discover. So much help here in discovery of my self and my actual issues and working on those and realized I couldn't stay healthy in the marriage. So my better and so much peace discovered.
Some of this sounds like my marriage. He has so much healing to do and so many resentments. He refuses to unpack the hurt. So it all stays bottled up and when I express a need he feels like it’s too much. Today I sent him a message asking and suggesting him to take more space/alone time. I know when we met in 95 he was living the ultimate bachelor life. I didn’t see him everyday because we lived 45 miles away so he had more autonomy. He was never going to get married or have kids and for some reason he bent that rule for me. But I feel there is a strong resentment in his heart and he doesn’t want to tell me for fear of me leaving him and having to pay child support etc.
I also can relate. And it's easy for h to make it seem like I am behaving jealously. A flight attendant was flirting with him and he said no defense of me, his wife next to him. Now I wonder if he initiated something because the and woman on two flights flirted. I talked with him about it after and he just wasn't receptive. That tells me he enjoyed making me "jealous" but what I actually felt was disregarded and not a priority to him, he's supposed to be working on our marriage after being in counseling this year since January.
I understood that there is an intentional jealous making act from the Narc.
Induced jealousy
Wow. Intuition has been feeling there’s a secret. Something isn’t right. And it hasn’t been for a long time. There’s something dark being hidden and I’m not sure if it’s an affair or a resentment or both
My priest told me I was a single married woman my whole life.
😢