I feel like such a failure... like i'm living my life in the wrong way and nothing that i do to change the situation has an effect. I feel completely useless at this point, like there is really no reason to try and do anything. It's so sad. I was so happy before, but i guess i will always end up here
I really love these videos, I'm sitting here wrapped in my blanket feeling completely numb, I just feel a little less alone having someone be sad with me, you're a really cool person
This is how I am right now, I can't do anything other than be in my room, I can't go to school, work or the gym because it's a literal hell that destroys your life in every aspect, I hope you're doing much better and I hope I get out of this hell hole as well
Some people just don’t understand that those of us with anxiety or depression can have such a hard time being normal and doing normal things, and just functioning like a normal person.They don’t understand how much we desperately don’t want to think this way or even feel this way but we’re forced to deal with it. Sometimes it’s so bad we can’t even think to deal with it so we do the only thing we can think in the moment, which is avoid anything that might make us feel this way or amplify that already existing feeling. So glad to finally see someone show their life in vivid detail of how it is and can be living life dealing with anxiety/depression and just be so real, raw, and transparent about it all.
This video got to me, made me very emotional. You can see the pain in this young lady. I suffered with depression when I was 15, it was the worst time of my life & I honestly thought the world hated me & I wasn’t good enough I just couldn’t cope anymore. Fast forward... I got pregnant at 17, my daughter saved my life, she’s my light at the end of a dark tunnel, everything I do is for her. I’m 20 years old now & doing a lot better, I still get my down days but if it wasn’t for my little girl I honestly don’t think I would be writing this right now. If you are ever going through something.. please don’t ever give up. Time & patience goes a long way. Sending big hugs to all❤️
I couldn’t stop breaking down. I’ve thought my whole life that there is something wrong with me and I’ve never known anyone else with the same issues, for the first time in my life actually hearing someone else talk about the same things you go through.. it’s insane. I really hope we all get the things we need to be okay
i cried watching this because i feel this exact pain too. I’m 17 going on 18 and i struggle so much just getting out of bed to the point where it affects me getting a job. i used to feel like i’d never be able to have one and that no one would want me, but thankfully i have just gotten my first job and i start working very soon.. i’m not very excited about it, but as long as i can cope and get through the day that’s all that matters
congrats!! I’m 18, turning 19 this month but the thought of messing up something as really prevented me from getting a job. But doing stuff, like cleaning & packing produce on selves really makes me excited so I hope I can get a job in a pet store near me!! hopefully you do well on ur job! :>
I will say for me, school and hanging out with people when I’m really depressed is always so hard but work is the one productive thing I’m able to accomplish that actually relieves stress and calms me down. Even if I can’t bear to write an essay or make plans with someone I can usually get through a shift and maintain my emotions. I work at a pizza place making minimum wage, nothing fancy but something about just having simple repetitive tasks and knowing you’re making the customers have a better day, and you’re earning money as well just helps with the motivation. I hope you’re job can be a positive escape for you like it is for me as well.
I'm going through the exact same thing right now. I'm a 21 year old male. Who lives at home with his parents and brothers. It's been three years that I've been stuck in my room. I dream about getting my own place. I just feel so stuck in depressed all the time. Nobody understands me.
I feel the same way, like I want to do this but in the back of your mind, you just want to sit back and do nothing, like feel emty or sometimes I think that I dont have purpose in life, I dont see my future or what I want to be, To be honest I dont know if I have depression or im just lazy,
sometimes I feel like I'm not made for this world, with my personality it's hard to fit in with the society's standards, I still wonder if it will really get better, no one even truly understand what you're going through unless they put themselves in your own shoes
It's so sad to read comments of many people struggling with depression and anxiety. I have dealt with major anxiety and mild depression for years. It's really hard when you lose your parents and have no one you can talk to. Wishing everyone much love peace and comfort.
It hits me hard when she said ‘I cannot create’. Im one of those people who FEELS too much, and always wish i have a hobby (whether its music or art ) since its a way to express emotions. The fact that I couldn’t draw/paint or play an instrument. It made me felt so overwhelmed, of feelings. And its just so overwhelming that you can physically feel it... so tight in the chest.
I can’t even go shower due to low energy it’s the worst thing ever. My parents always call me lazy which makes me feel even more useless but I try so hard if only they understood.
Depression becomes worse if we don't do anything. What worked for me is micro-planning. For example, if I have low energy to have a proper shower I could at least do upper-part washing or lower-part washing. Also what helps is to think about how much time it will take. What is, say, 15 minutes compared to useless hours and hours
@xxdeadlyyghostfacexx do you think anything in your past or right now that you are doing or have done is effecting you negatively? I dont know if you believe in the bible but there is a darkness in this world but there is also a light who is Jesus Christ
Hi Mikayla, For some folks it’s hard to know what to say when it comes to depression and anxiety. People who don’t suffer from them don’t understand. I suffer from both and so does my 19 year old daughter. You remind me So Much of her. I still just want to just hug you and tell you that you are not alone. I take my shower in the mornings for the same reason. My daughter lives with her boyfriend now, but when she lived with me she almost never left her room. She is a vegan also. And she had a blog. She was always pouring her heart out on camera. She kept a daily journal. I just stay busy and struggle through out the day. I meditate in the evenings, it helps. But I really want you to know something. I’m all the way in Boston, Massachusetts USA, you are reaching others all over the world who have similar struggles and You are making a difference and making an effect on others who need to hear this. You get yourself to where you need to be Mikayla, move to your own flat if you can. Surround yourself with other loving and like minded people who will love you no matter what. Please keep reaching out.... You are loved! ❤️
Im a marine. Suffering from anxiety depression BPD and PTSD. The fact that you can make your bed on a day you were really struggling is awesome I’m proud of you
stay strong, I suffer from bpd too and it's becoming always more difficult. try to go to therapy if you have the chance, it's helping me a lot. you aren't alone
@@evie7599 I did! I also found out I’m pregnant! And This baby cured my depression:) anything is possible! If you are spiritual go to God and he will take away all your pain 🤍
hey, i know you’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work but i promise GOD can heal you and be the answer to your problems. HE designed us in a way that only HE can fill the void within, but despite that, we still run to things that actually destroy the body and soul. alcohol/drugs/weed etc - liver damage, brain damage, cancer, lowers your ‘vibrations’, alters your state of mind and become entranced, invites evil entities. partying/clubbing - drains the soul of energy, invites evil entities. sexual activities (sex,porn) - leaves you empty, disgusted with self, shameful, creates soul ties (e.g. 10 bodies = 10 soul ties with each individual you had sex with including oral, and whichever evil spirits they have, they become yours also), invites evil entities. secular music - affects your subconscious by its frequency, invites evil entities. i know you believe in a higher power but maybe you just don’t know who that higher power is, but imma tell you that it’s GOD. not no religion, that’s man made, but the creator of the heavens and the earth. you can get to know HIM today. you can begin your journey of faith & spirituality. all you need to do is to ask for forgiveness and accept JESUS as your messiah. once you do that, the Holy Spirit will guide you into all truth. the veil will be lifted 👁 and the truth shall set you free. you’ll become awakened into the reality of this world.. the irreversible gene altering vaccines, the poisoned food and water supply, the 5G frequency manipulation, the government and their agendas, big pharma, truth behind social media, fake news, freemasonry, satanic cabal elites, the pope and religion, the flat stationary earth, the nasa space hoax, the truth behind school and why they indoctrinate us at a young age, the truth behind 9 to 5 jobs, the live to work until death regime, heaven & hell, the spiritual realm where demonic entities and angels operate and all things spiritual. there’s a lot to uncover, unlearn and unpack but the journey to salvation is narrow and only a few make it. choose which pill you will take - the blue pill (accept your fate and live life as it is, walk in the wide path of destruction which many are on) or the red pill (awake to this satanic matrix beast system, walk in the narrow path with CHRIST as your light, lose friends and validation but gain the reward of everlasting life in heaven) .. it’s up to you.
I have literal chills from watching this, I’m in tears. We can do this, we must stay strong together and fight for US, our life back. Stay strong hun ❤️❤️❤️
I’m three years late to this but wanted to thank you for posting your experience. I have dealt with anxiety and depression since teen years. It hasn’t gotten better with time. Also a recent incident with a co-worker purposely bringing covid to work has exasperated it. I pray you are doing well and pray I can overcome this disease that robs me of all joy in my life.
I pray that You are doing well too! I obviously came to this video trying to help make sense of my current depression when i've done 'all the things'. be gently with yourself
Depression is a horrible disease, my beautiful oldest daughter at 22 was killed in 2011 and a third of my heart died with her. Please know how loved you are by family, friends and fans. To end your life will create an unimaginable amount of grief and anxiety for those who you leave behind. I have so much to live for but at 55 years old I don’t have a day I don’t wish I was in Heaven. I take a happy pill and a don’t give a chit pill 😂 and it helps me to be happier. Your voice is so beautiful and reminds me of my daughter who sang. Hang in there because not all days are bad
sometimes my own mind tricks me. i always try to invalidate my feelings because i dont think i deserve to feel these things. i dont go do therapy because i dont wanna bother my parents with my problems, and im falling in this loop where i cant do anything because im constantly hating myself, but at the same time i cant cry, i cant get my feelings out, and then im again invalidating my feelings and thinking that im just being dramatic. im on my last year of high school and i cant study to any college exam because im trapped. im trapped and i dont do anything about it. anyway, im sorry for the long text, i just wanted to try to get my feelings out, and sorry for my english too,its not my native language.
Te entiendo amor, tus sentimientos son super válidos, y esta bien que te sientas como te sentís, no sos esas cosas feas que te decís, yo me las decia, y me di cuenta que en realidad pork vos te digas algo malo no tiene porqué ser cierto, si puedes ve a un psicólogo hace muy bien y empieza a tener hábitos lindos para ti, tipo actividades que te gusten, TMB un diario :3 y esas cositas, tu puedes!
I'm communicating with you because I am also an empath like you! You have such a beautiful soul and I know these times are challenging for us. I am grateful you are on the Earth. thank you for being here!
Just found you full of curiosity of your music & soul...then I was sad to see you struggling but honestly, this is one of the most courageous and honest videos I've ever seen about anxiety & all. I can really see you fighting: You made it out, got some coffee, find the beauty in nature around you, have your book, your patreons, music and all the people checking in to see how you're doing. I hope you find a place for you to breathe and create and tap even more into that strong lady fighting that's fighting every day! Lots of hugs from Germany! 🦋
i just had a weekend exactly like this. seeing you do little things in this video - like watching you make your bed & take a shower - made me feel so proud of you bc i feel proud of myself when i can bring myself to do things like that. i relate to so much of this. i hope you have a good day soon. (she made it outside!)
Never ever feel you're hopeless or helpless. You're special in your own way Mikayla. You can always remember how people were touched by your first performance and your next ones. The emotion you put in the songs really touched people's heart. Some may be inspired by you, some may adore you, some may be even helped by you when they were struggling inside. You are inspiration for people, you are loved by people. You should always remember that somewhere there are people who are worried about you. Everytime you feel depressed or your anxiety becomes worse, always remember how valuable you are. Sorry if i talked way too much or too hard to understand, but one thing is that i believe you can get through all of these. You can always start slowly, step by step, not pushing yourself way too hard. In fact, you've already started it. You managed to go outside and get a cup of coffee when it's very hard for you. Next time, you can try to get water outside your room when there are people around for example. I know it may be really hard for now but you will completely be able to do that soon. Wherever you are there will be spaces for you to fit in. Fighting!♥️ also.. you should try to play some relaxing songs when you're sleeping, it can help a little. And chamomile tea can reduce stress and anxiety as well as curing your sleeplessness. You can try to drink that before sleep. Doing meditation can also make you feel more relax and calm. A simple exercise in your bedroom can make you feel livelier as well. So, Mikayla i believe you can overcome your depression and anxiety!! :)
Mikayla honey, I've been through this as well and the best advice I can give you is to want with all your soul and all your actions to get better. For your boyfriend or your future kids if you want some or in order to help this or that friend get through something... Find a reason and hold on to it. And then force yourself to think positive all the time. Health and needing headspace and all are reasons but mostly excuses... Whenever you think about anxiety or feel anxious, think instead of thr reason why you need to get better, think about a task you should do later in the day, think about what you want to do tomorrow. Think positive and energetic :) And maybe try find a sport that you like :) All the best honey. You're not alone. Don't give up singing. Remember, do your best to stay positive !
To all those out there who suffer from anxiety and depression. Just some thoughts and tips that might help: I like listening to Alan watts podcasts when I'm feeling blue, stressed out or when I need that little push or inspiration/motivation to go through what I have to do. The minimalists podcast and Alan watts, Decluttering, eating healthier and more nutritional, go for long walks in the forest, drinking more water, listening to classical music, reading books, not watching TV or news all the time, resting more and going to bed earlier + sleeping more. This helps for Me. Find what makes you calm and centered in your heart. Most people who suffer from anxiety and depression are highly sensitive. Highly sensitive people need more rest than others do and everything in our environment drains our energy since we take it all in more. Don't drink coffee or tea with caffeine in it, at all, since this will make your senses highly alert (this drains your energy even more and can most likely cause exhaustion, which again can explain the depression in some cases). Same goes for sugar and food with additives. Keep it clean, clutter free and center your body and soul. Yoga can also help.
The entire part where the car was parked on the roadside, that just was so true.. Even in the midst of so much suffering and pain we do a lot crazy things which gives us fun in our ways and yes, there is seriously something magical in nature ❤️
This video was really powerful. Could easily be a short film about the struggles of anxiety. Felt like I was watching my own life play out. The music is beautiful and fits so well. I feel for you and hope you're doing ok 🙏
I can sense your sadness, so many things you say and do are similar to what i say and do. Your eyes look so sad and tired, i hope youre doing better. Best of wishes❤
I relate with every ounce of me. I thought having a space of my own would help too. Unfortunately for me, that only felt good for the first couple weeks... Since then, I've become too anxious to drive and binge eat since food is easier to access. There's no one in the house but me most days because I do work from home, but without the socialization.. I'm afraid things could take a turn. I hope not, I really do. With the help of my boyfriend and my family checking on me every so often, I really hope to get better. Soon.
YOU’RE NOT ALONE!!!!! We’re all human and it’s perfectly okay to feel anxious sometimes. A very wise mall Santa that I met, back in 2018, once told me that “even on the cloudiest day the sun STILL shines behind those clouds meaning that no matter how dark it looks, the sun is STILL there and the joy and happiness is there for you as well”. No matter how scary or how uncomfortable things get for you, just know that everything’s going to be okay because you deserve to feel safe, loved, comforted, encouraged and for those who loved you and who really want to help u and be there for you and stay by your side either way. Whether from friends, family or anyone you trust and feel safe with. I maybe an autistic women whose probably may or may not have had a lot of panic attacks but I can honestly tell u. I’ve had anxiety attacks due to my fear of failure in school or at work and not being good enough as a person and losing my job and I’ve also struggled with anxiety and depression for quite a long time so I do understand perfectly well the feelings of worthlessness, lack of self esteem, anxiety, depression, self hatred, loneliness, feeling trapped, frustration, remorsefulness, insecurity and the feeling of wanting to get try to better yourself but always coming out as a failure. Plus having been through Covid and being forced to follow Covid safety protocols like many others, myself, has been deeply traumatizing and extremely difficult for me as well socially, mentally, physically and emotionally. The point is, your anxieties, your depression and everything mental health related DOES NOT define u for who you are, it’s what’s inside your heart and all the things we’ve accomplished in life and the kind of person u REALLY are in your heart that truly defines u for who u are. Some people are not gonna always understand what you’re going through and maybe they never will but as long as you have the people in your life who loved and cared about you or that special someone whom deeply loves u and genuinely cares about u and will do anything in the world to help u to overcome this, you’re gonna come out even stronger and more courageous than ever and before you’ll know it, you’re gonna surprise people by how far you’ve come in the end. The fact that you had the courage to make this video and open up about your inner struggles and your vulnerability REALLY MAKES U A MUCH STRONGER AND BRAVER PERSON IN MY BOOK and it say A LOT about you. Give yourself a pat on the back. U did an amazing job!! 😊😊 Stay strong, have courage, be kind to yourself, take heart and NEVER EVER give up hope because you ARE beautiful and practically perfect just the way you are in every way . ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I relate to this a lot...feeling too anxious to leave my room but at the same time living in a place where I don't feel good and confortable so I just feel anxious and depressed all the time with so little actually happy moments.. wishing you hapiness and hoping you can find a your own place
I can relate. All we have to know is how to pick ourselves up, build ourselves up when everything seems to be broken. Look for another angle. It is hard but you can do it. We love you! I hope you don't stop with ur music. Sorry Im still in progress in improving my english.
I’ve felt so alone recently and like no one understands what I’m going through and this video helped me a lot, thank you for helping me feel a little less alone❤
Mikayla, thank you. I just moved into student accommodation and am having a very similar time. On top of that I have online classes so am trapped in my room even more... Even if yoi don't feel it, you are doing a healthy thing by trying coping mechanisms like journalling. Sadly, my coping mechanism aren't ad healthy...
Light through the trees is one of my favorite things. Sometimes, just walking out the door is winning a battle that some people can never understand. It is brave and worthwhile to share your struggle with others. You are brave and worthwhile, especially when you least feel like it, yet find a way to step outside. I know how hard it can be when you feel as though you have no space for yourself, I've lived with that feeling much of my life. Find a place where you can be loud, where you can create, look for light, I promise you can find it and that it is there for you.
Thank you for being honest. We look up to you guys and it's important to know we are not alone and you are not alone. Also try watching welcome to the NHK, it really helped me
I can understand you a little bit. I have my bedroom (I'm a student and I'm studying abroad), but I feel like I am not completely free since I live with other people. This is giving me stress, I would prefer to live alone but I can't. You have to do something to feel less depressed! You're an amazing, creative and talented girl ✨
I have social anxiety too i feel you totally its hard to get out of my room too but we have to fight hard don't give up. After all fresh air and sunlight are living needs....
So sad, and on the other hand so natural, so beautiful. Your broken soul heals other souls and makes them happier. I hope you'd finally find peace yourself, sweetheart.
I was stuck in my room for 4 years. I only left a handful of times. The only thing that helped beyond meds and a therapist was exposure. If you can't do customer service try something like dog walking. Your interaction with people will be minimal and you get to hang out with dogs all day. I started with just a couple of walks and worked my way up from there. And remember any time you try is a good choice. Even if you try to go outside but can't bring yourself to it.. the endurance to keep trying is all that matters.
You have great skills, the video editing is amazing, as they say in those sci fi movies "you are more powerful than you could ever know".... We are all empty vessels sailing on a stormy sea and I have sunk more times than I can remember but here I stand. (or rather sit) Stay cool
Omg… I have been the exact same here lately… like today, I took a nap and I woke up and I had to go pee so bad that my bladder started to hurt… & I didn’t want to go out to use the restroom because my brother ex gf who is a friend of mine now was over visiting my parents.. so I know exactly how you feel.. & for myself… I feel kind of embarrassed because I am 27… but whatever is humans are not perfect! And that is okay. Thank you for sharing this video… your not alone. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel 🤍
Hi! I also avoid people and am super anxious around others! I act like a scared little mouse all the time. At 25 it’s hard to do adult things. Sometimes I wonder if I’m meant for this world, if that makes sense? Everything is so scary.
@@bunniezzz777 sweetheart you are not alone!! Do things even if your afraid! That’s what I’m trying to do right now! This shall Pass! & this will make you stronger woman! I have friends telling me this exact thing and I don’t really like hearing it but they are right! If you ever need someone to talk with I’m here 🤍
Hey Mikayla, I'm watching this all in the way in Guyana, South America. I think that u are a beautiful and strong soul. Writing in a journal works for me. I would feel free after wards and sometimes I would look back and see what I've been through and smile that i didn't let that break me but build me. Only u can make urself happy. U r very strong and i admire that, do not let anything or anyone tell you otherwise.
Tbh i don't know what you're going thru. I've been in a place that i felt numb, stupid, sad, like extremely sad with no reason to the point that i don't want to feel anymore. But the fact that I'm the eldest of 4 made me push myself to do better. Those feelings always come back to me no matter what. I struggled and still am. I can only wish the best for you. Hang in there!!
I related a lot to this video but that part where you said you didn’t get water or coffee from the kitchen because you were anxious about the people, I like really got that. I do that too but it’s my own family, I don’t do it always but I’ll start to dread interacting with my loved ones and if I do end up leaving my room I’ll tip toe around the house to avoid them even though they make me happy but my brain makes me think that every interaction is a mistake so I avoid it.
it’s been almost two months. i can’t even go to school anymore and people telling me no one is gonna wait for me makes me even more desperate to end it all.
I can’t ever go to sleep in time bc of it at night when I try to rest my mind just goes, I don’t end up going to bed until 6 and then I wake up around 2-5 🤦🏽♀️
I’m 21 and have felt like shit ever since I could remember, I genuinely cannot find joy in anything. Nothing sparks my interests & when I try something new i’m always hard on myself and then stop. I just smoke a lot & scroll to keep myself here but idk how long I can keep doing that, it’s slowly starting to not help me anymore.
Good on you for making this video and expressing your feelings like this This gives me a good understanding about people that deal with this kind of stuff since there’s a lot of them
This is a amazing video and I believe shows a bit of what some days can be like for people who suffer and I thank you for making it, and showing us who you are and its beautiful. PS night drives with the Stars good music and chill vibes are the best ever
sameee sometimes i wish i had a life assistant to tell me what to do when i look at my life it feels so overwhelming i lost everything and idk how to get them back again
It's crazy.. For us, just facing people within the same building can be a hurdle, or even a full blockage. People on the outside don't grasp that idea, not really wanting to leave
I can relate to anxiety and depression. I’ve had times where it’s hard to function, like where you are right now. Since you are a grown woman, I don’t understand why you can’t get on some medications that can help you get to a better place. You need to be able to work, because depending on others for support, that in itself is a depressing way to live. I don’t promote that everyone take medication, but if it gives you a better quality of life, it is worth it. It is worth it to get you to a better place in your life, where you can support yourself and pursue your dreams. Suicidal ideation is a dangerous mindset. So please Mikayla get yourself some help.
I hope ur doing better. I was loooking this up. Bc.... well for a little back story. I was dealing with an addiction for 5 yrs. I just got out of rehab 7 months ago. And i feel like many things were thrown in my direction. My ex was really toxic. My mom has so many things going on n constantly leaves me with everything she cant do. I push myself to go to work. But there are days i cant get moving and then there are days i dont wanna leave my room. N everybody thinks im being selfish n lazy. But sometimes i just want to just scream n tell everyone i dont care. But i just force myself to go to work wishing one day i just never wake up
I stumbled upon this video because of the voice, i hope you get what you want in life because i think every one deserves to be happy. keep up the fight and smile because you have a beautiful smile and you deserve to be happy.
I rarely ever cry, especially when watching UA-cam but you really just made me cry. When you talked about hardly eating and drinking water because of your anxiety to go out of your room, I felt that so much and I never would’ve thought that other people feel like this as well, I always feel so fucking crazy, I can relate with you so so much, the being quiet part too. I’m so sorry for all of us who experience this, we all deserve a happy fulfilled life but it’s so much harder for us..
I give you big props for trying and going out. I know exactly how that tight chest feels. Lately I’ve been getting better from that mostly I feel my energy so low that makes me wanna stay in bed all day. But it’s nice to know I’m not alone 💛 anxiety and depression are very hard to go through. But there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for sharing your video love! Hope your doing better 🙏🏽
You are so beautiful and have an amazing soul. keep you head high so many people love you, life is a challenge no one is perfect at it but your killing it keep fighting threw it.
I had axeity and depression since I was 10.. I haven't let anyone notice that about me. Everyone use to call me the quiet kid or the kind hearted I'm selfless and think about others and what they might feel if I was to tell them what I'm going though then that would be a problem, I have lots to tell but I can't explain how I'm feeling I'm lost I'm know 14 and I still never showed anyone my secret 😓 (plus mom's forcing me to go out more so I end up with some burning tension in my lungs it hurts and it so scary I can't explain it sorry for wasting your time.
Ik what your gonna through, I'm 16 and i suffer from depression and anxiety as well, it feels like no one understands how u feel no even your own family I'm going through a lot mentally right know with a toxic family. honestly the best thing u could do is try activities like drawing, I've started drawing recently and put my headphones on and just jam out to music and it's really helped me forget about everything, there's many people going thrue the same thing your going thrue just know your not alone❣
Its not easy to handle depression..nobody know it and i dont tell anyone..im introvert person too..back at the day i had migraine and i cried everyday,every night..stuck in my room..too many pressure i cant handle it by myself and i dont know how to handle it..i lose control and i almost kill myself 2 times..then i manage to deal with it because of 2 reason..my mom and my gf..day by day i pray a lot (i am muslim),be a positive person..smile always..i enjoy football and gaming..and i have lots of friends..now im already ok..trust me u can do it too..love yourself and be positive 😊
Thank you for this video. It’s very helpful in times of trouble to be reminded that i’m not the only one feeling like this. I also hope you know that it does get better. It really does and when it does you’ll be forever thankful for yourself. You are also so beautiful🥰. I hope the pain eases soon. Much love!❤️❤️
U r Not alone. But if u live alone u might just Isolate yourself which is really bad for your mental health too. U do what is Best for You! I can’t even get out of bed and take a shower. It is an Aweful way to live. I am just existing not living. I can’t stand it anymore. Good luck with everything.
You have achieved way too much.... Just be strong and don't let those suicidal thoughts get in the way of that....I personally see potential in you,you are amazing....Be strong and see how you'll overcome your fears. 💎💎💎
Hey mikayla, I don't know what it feels like to be in your shoes but I some people that are. And from watching your video and listening to your story, it makes me wish I was there by your side. When you feel this way you have to get out you cannot be stuck in that room when you feel this way. You need to find a way to get angry at your anxiety or depression don't be quiet about it if you want to scream scream scream as loud as you can just find and yourself to kick that door down. I know you probably heard all this before and I noticed you read a lot I see all the books in the background during your videos there's one book I like you to look into it's called your best self you can look it up on Amazon it might help you. I hope this brings you some comfort like I said I wish I was by your side lots of love best of luck be strong seeing you this why is not who you are peace out like I said I wish I can fly down there and give you the biggest hug you ever had 💘💞💗💓💝💜💛💚💖
I'm sorry to say that I can relate to this experience. Depression has always made even the most simple of social tasks seemingly impossible, and while I know depression manifests itself differently in everybody, I feel as if everybody who has struggled with depression can understand each other, if only just a tiny portion. This is my experience with depression, and I hope by sharing it, you can maybe gain something positive from it like your fans and I did from this video. Depression sinks into your very soul, and you stop knowing how to love yourself; the thought just isn’t fucking there, and to even hear it, write it, be surrounded by the constant reminders of "Love yourself" does nothing when you feel as if you need that self love to EARN the love of others. People with depression put much more stock into what others say and think about them versus what they think of themselves. That concept of self love? Do you realize how completely IMPOSSIBLE it SEEMS to someone with depression? Of course self-love is real, and so very important, but seems like utter BULLSHIT to someone with depression. "Why the fuck should I love myself? What have I done to deserve any love?" Those are the thoughts that LIVE inside the mind. Everybody feels those thoughts once in awhile, everybody feels down and useless and yes, we all bend and break and regret and wish for change and a chance to do it over, but people with depression LIVE that. EVERY. SINGLE. SECOND. And sure, in moments they can feel brave, strong, and as if the fight is worth it, but those moments are so, so hard. As a friend to someone with depression, do not ever say "This shit is getting old." You've only seen the surface, and yes it isn't fair for a friend to have to ALWAYS deal with someone who is constantly down in the dumps, but if you say that line you are pretty much ensuring some major self-hatred in the future. People with depression understand how much of a burden they can be, how much they place onto others, and how unfair that is. THAT ALSO ADDS TO THE NEGATIVE/DEPRESSING FEELINGS. And asking "Well why are you depressed" is an oxymoron; there is no real answer, and thinking about it makes the person feel even worse; they have no "real" reason to feel bad, and that makes the guilt even worse. So what can you do for someone who seems to be suffering from depression? Exist to them. Do not try to take them out of there comfort zone in an attempt to make them "change". By saying they need change, you enforce the idea that they are broken, which they ARE NOT. They aren't depressed because they stay in, watch movies, don't want to go out, don't want to drink, etc etc. By forcing a change in habit you are forcing a person to believe that to be happy, they HAVE to conform to a new way of life. They just want to FEEL NORMAL DOING EVERYTHING. That is it. Plain and simple. The depressed want to be able to listen music, write a song, go for a walk without feeling so damn, fucking morbid about it. They want to feel what others feel, to feel as if they aren't wasting time, wasting space, wasting away for nothing. The problem is they never can accept that they need to just do what fulfills them; that whole "do whatever makes you happy" line. Depression means when you find something that makes you happy, you feel GUILTY about it, like why do you deserve something like this? Why do you deserve to smile? To laugh? THAT IS THE CONSTANT THOUGHT PROCESS FOLKS. Everything becomes a big question of why why why and o me me me. And to top it all off, they realize how selfish that sounds, to only think about themselves, how this process of constantly feeling as if you deserve nothing is actually dragging down those closest to you, and makes depression a self-fulfilling prophecy. So, to recap all of that: People with depression feel hopeless, and because of that they feel guilty. The guilt is what really kills; guilt of not DESERVING LOVE, guilt of not BEING NORMAL, and also the guilt of not having a REAL REASON to feel depressed. How should you help alleviate this guilt? Try doing something for them that THEY want to do. Go see that movie they mentioned, just because. Grab a bite to eat somewhere they like. Try to bend a little to what they want, what they feel comfortable with, and ease them into new situations. Let them see that what THEY want to do has merit, isn't weird or strange, and that they can smile without feeling like they aren't deserving of it. Start small, don't expect big changes, and don't expect this whole new person. Put value into what they love, even if they won't admit they love it, which they won't because they won't feel as if they deserve to, but they need to know that it's all OKAY. Depression takes away the feeling that what we are matters, and breaks us down to feeling as if we did nothing but waste the time of others, and we need to end that wastefulness ASAP. Be patient, be kind, remind people how much they matter, how much they mean to the world. Sure, they may not believe you at first (and they won't) but just hearing it gives pause, gets the gears turning, and for a few precious moments someone can escape from depression and feel as if the world isn't crashing down around them. A few more moments like that, and suddenly your head is above water more often than under, and you realize that sure, maybe I can't breathe underwater like the rest of the fish, but holy shit I can swim!
Hi, so, I got here because I got curious about the life of someone depressed, how are they days, they behaviors, what they like to do. I don't telling they're strangers or something like this. I got so touched and surprised, I was thinking that depressed people were like in the movies, always crying, trying to kill themselves, always drinking or smoking or even both. But not, when I saw she's laughing and talking about how much that game makes her feel better, it hited me. Some people must have so many problems, or be so sad inside, but they're not always crying, they smile too, they're happy sometimes. So it makes me think, in how the depressed people could be us and we even know or even care. I'd like to give a hug in every person who's like her, or like the other's millions. That's it, idk if u are going through it, but I know how shitty it is, and trust me, it would be better, always be, one way or another. Feel yourself hugging.
Hey, don't let the depression get to you all by yourself 😢. Sometimes you need someone to gain your self confidence, to gain your hope, and stop thinking about things because there is something that you are LOOKING FORWARD. Don't worry I hope one day someone will be by your side... 😄 If you meant love I just mean FRIENDS!!! OwO
Dear Mikayla, I know that people who are lonely and/or have depression have way more in their disposition because they are observers. What I have also learned is that people who have depression love life more and appreciate what they have. For instance, I am on antidepressants and almost committed a suicide a few months ago but only after that I realized that life is so beautiful and there are so many things to achieve and share with people who actually care. Happiness is sometimes just a night ride through your fav places. Now I can say that it was really fun to go through depression since I understood myself. Also look at yourself. You enjoy simple things as vegan pies, a good book in the car and so on. I am very happy that there are similar people to me who enjoy writing, silence, good books, night rides, and late coffee. Whenever you will decide to laugh from all the problems please reach out people who support you. You are a wonderful person! :)) Linas Bagdonas (@monegard)
This popped up on my recommendation out of no where, i know i’m late it’s been 2 years since you post this but i just wanna explain some things i feel. I don’t think I’m depressed i was never diagnosed with it or anything but i been feeling so empty and lost and i’m just so tired I struggle so hard with hygiene it takes me like 6/7 days to shower sometimes even more i’ve been trying to shower every other day but i’m just so unmotivated to do anything, i’ve been kept busy with helping my mom re decorate the house I didn’t have the motivation but i had to do it but it’s almost done now and i don’t know what to do after this i wanna be off the phone and do something like normal things but there is nothing for me to do to keep me busy. I find distracting myself from my problems helps me. But i have no motivation to do anything to help me get distracted. Cleaning my room is a struggle i always take a week to fix my bed again but I can’t seem to do the easiest thing cause i’m just so unmotivated. I have no friends except for 1 she’s 10 i’m 13 but I don’t wanna put all of that on her and she doesn’t really understand so I don’t tell anyone how i feel because i feel nobody understands me, also i’m scared to talk to anyone about it because they would go far and won’t be calm and just tell me “you have no reason to be sad” i also understand that. I don’t have a reason to be sad but i just don’t know why am i like this, it’s like i’m numb i don’t feel emotion unless i play a certain music to make me cry. Other then that i’m just numb like i always act normal and chill around my parents but it’s actually hard to act it cause sometimes i just stare at nothing and just think and they ask if i’m okay i always say i am but tbh I don’t even know myself I don’t know if i’m being stupid and looking like i’m asking for attention which i don’t i really don’t but in so many ways it looks like it and I’m not trying to say i have depressed for attention but i just don’t know? I also over eat because it gives me something to do and i really hate it i been just eating almonds or a few pieces of popcorn and pieces of cheese these couple days cause i feel i eat too much. I also had a few crackers today so i feel i messed up and everything. I’ve lost weight a couple months ago but i just gained it back and i’m so unhappy with myself i just wish i was skinny i’m overweight i’m 5’8 and i weigh 190 i always wear hoodies to hide everything because i’m really insecure ok i’m sorry i just realized i changed the topic to my weight. Also I can’t sleep at night i stay up sometimes until 10am and i don’t get tired but then when i go to sleep i wake up at 5pm which is really bad and melatonin isn’t helping me and i just get more tired everyday when i wake up. I never had the problem about being tired when i wake up, yea i’d stay up late till like 6/7 but i’d be perfectly fine when i wake up but now i’m really tired i need something to do i want things to do but at the same time i’m only 13 it’s not like i can go drive around and look at the gorgeous outside like other teenagers could, i can’t go on walks cause my parents are scared if i get kidnapped which i don’t blame them but my neighborhood is just old people that can’t even walk and our area is more safe then other areas. I do feel if i go outside i’ll feel better, the cold is so nice it gives me a fresh feeling but not the one where it’s below 0 lol i like it cold but not overly cold you know what i mean ? Lol anyways i just wanna be normal yk? My dog does help me and keeps me busy ngl but she can’t keep me busy all day yk she sleeps a lot and eats and barks then sleeps 😭 but i mostly just wish i can sleep most of the time and just stay in my bed but my mom always makes me stay upstairs until 8 or 9 pm cause my room is downstairs ok i’m sorry I’m rambling too much about my life
Dude, we’re twins. Not that it’s a good thing… but it makes me think, I’m not alone man. It’s a relief because there’s others who deal with almost the same thing I go through. It makes me feel like I’m not doomed, I’m normal, I’m not crazy. I’m just a victim of something I didn’t cause. I mean it does still suck, but It brings at least a little relief. I read everything and this urge to connect with you is substantial lol
hey i think we have the same life, but its ok stay strong darling🤍 I'll always be there for you no matter what😁 you're really amazing and I love your videos so so much! and also thank you so much for sharing this, I really appreciated that :)
Life is hard, hard work is rewarded, and let nothing stand in the way or distract you from what you want, and try to enjoy the journey getting there. Anxiety is valuing too much of what others think, No one excels thinking that way. Focus inwards, on you, and you mastering your craft. Dont get distracted, by nonsense. Much Love. P.L.U.R.
![cleaning my depression room and taking care of myself [mellow vlog]](/img/n.gif)
I feel like such a failure... like i'm living my life in the wrong way and nothing that i do to change the situation has an effect. I feel completely useless at this point, like there is really no reason to try and do anything. It's so sad. I was so happy before, but i guess i will always end up here
It gets harder with age for lot's of reason, but you, my dear are still young!
same but stay strong darling, you're really amazing❤
Just be happy ☺️
You are not a failure you are strong women ❤ 💪 stay strong hun xx
@Anita 아니타 I know you feel that but tell it to go away
I really love these videos, I'm sitting here wrapped in my blanket feeling completely numb, I just feel a little less alone having someone be sad with me, you're a really cool person
You're right, it does help to know you're not alone in feeling this way. It makes you feel like a freak and there's no one to reach out to
This was me yesterday…
This is how I am right now, I can't do anything other than be in my room, I can't go to school, work or the gym because it's a literal hell that destroys your life in every aspect, I hope you're doing much better and I hope I get out of this hell hole as well
you remind me of myself like no one has before
Same
Some people just don’t understand that those of us with anxiety or depression can have such a hard time being normal and doing normal things, and just functioning like a normal person.They don’t understand how much we desperately don’t want to think this way or even feel this way but we’re forced to deal with it. Sometimes it’s so bad we can’t even think to deal with it so we do the only thing we can think in the moment, which is avoid anything that might make us feel this way or amplify that already existing feeling. So glad to finally see someone show their life in vivid detail of how it is and can be living life dealing with anxiety/depression and just be so real, raw, and transparent about it all.
This video got to me, made me very emotional. You can see the pain in this young lady. I suffered with depression when I was 15, it was the worst time of my life & I honestly thought the world hated me & I wasn’t good enough I just couldn’t cope anymore. Fast forward... I got pregnant at 17, my daughter saved my life, she’s my light at the end of a dark tunnel, everything I do is for her. I’m 20 years old now & doing a lot better, I still get my down days but if it wasn’t for my little girl I honestly don’t think I would be writing this right now. If you are ever going through something.. please don’t ever give up. Time & patience goes a long way. Sending big hugs to all❤️
I couldn’t stop breaking down. I’ve thought my whole life that there is something wrong with me and I’ve never known anyone else with the same issues, for the first time in my life actually hearing someone else talk about the same things you go through.. it’s insane. I really hope we all get the things we need to be okay
I hope you do
Love yourself Mikayla.. even when no one else will, because you are all you have at the end of the day. Best wishes
Thank u for making me feel like I’m not the only one who stays in their room from depression & anxiety.
i cried watching this because i feel this exact pain too. I’m 17 going on 18 and i struggle so much just getting out of bed to the point where it affects me getting a job. i used to feel like i’d never be able to have one and that no one would want me, but thankfully i have just gotten my first job and i start working very soon.. i’m not very excited about it, but as long as i can cope and get through the day that’s all that matters
congrats!! I’m 18, turning 19 this month but the thought of messing up something as really prevented me from getting a job. But doing stuff, like cleaning & packing produce on selves really makes me excited so I hope I can get a job in a pet store near me!! hopefully you do well on ur job! :>
@@smuglumine4949 thank you! hopefully you find an amazing job at a pet store soon! best of luck to you
I will say for me, school and hanging out with people when I’m really depressed is always so hard but work is the one productive thing I’m able to accomplish that actually relieves stress and calms me down. Even if I can’t bear to write an essay or make plans with someone I can usually get through a shift and maintain my emotions.
I work at a pizza place making minimum wage, nothing fancy but something about just having simple repetitive tasks and knowing you’re making the customers have a better day, and you’re earning money as well just helps with the motivation.
I hope you’re job can be a positive escape for you like it is for me as well.
I'm going through the exact same thing right now. I'm a 21 year old male. Who lives at home with his parents and brothers. It's been three years that I've been stuck in my room. I dream about getting my own place. I just feel so stuck in depressed all the time. Nobody understands me.
Hi, please send me a direct message so I can help you. Thank you.
Getting ur own place won’t fill the void though😔
I feel the same way, like I want to do this but in the back of your mind, you just want to sit back and do nothing, like feel emty or sometimes I think that I dont have purpose in life, I dont see my future or what I want to be,
To be honest I dont know if I have depression or im just lazy,
@@loveme3258 ugh same, im so sorry to hear that, hope you'll get better, I will always be there for you no matter what, you're amazing, you're loved❤
I do my friend
let's hope it gets better for us all of those who have depression
I suffer like this too, its the worst. I wish you well
sometimes I feel like I'm not made for this world, with my personality it's hard to fit in with the society's standards, I still wonder if it will really get better, no one even truly understand what you're going through unless they put themselves in your own shoes
Same...
You are too don't say that
Sameeeeee
It's so sad to read comments of many people struggling with depression and anxiety. I have dealt with major anxiety and mild depression for years. It's really hard when you lose your parents and have no one you can talk to. Wishing everyone much love peace and comfort.
I send you a huge hug girl 💚💛
@@gracia3318Thanks! right back at ya girl
It hits me hard when she said ‘I cannot create’. Im one of those people who FEELS too much, and always wish i have a hobby (whether its music or art ) since its a way to express emotions. The fact that I couldn’t draw/paint or play an instrument. It made me felt so overwhelmed, of feelings. And its just so overwhelming that you can physically feel it... so tight in the chest.
I can’t even go shower due to low energy it’s the worst thing ever. My parents always call me lazy which makes me feel even more useless but I try so hard if only they understood.
I know right.🤦♀️my room is a damn mess and all I do is sleep then repeat the same routine.
Depression becomes worse if we don't do anything. What worked for me is micro-planning. For example, if I have low energy to have a proper shower I could at least do upper-part washing or lower-part washing. Also what helps is to think about how much time it will take. What is, say, 15 minutes compared to useless hours and hours
I feel you but even when I'm able to shower I'm not in there long I just feel the need to go and lay back down
@xxdeadlyyghostfacexx do you think anything in your past or right now that you are doing or have done is effecting you negatively? I dont know if you believe in the bible but there is a darkness in this world but there is also a light who is Jesus Christ
Hi Mikayla, For some folks it’s hard to know what to say when it comes to depression and anxiety. People who don’t suffer from them don’t understand. I suffer from both and so does my 19 year old daughter. You remind me So Much of her. I still just want to just hug you and tell you that you are not alone. I take my shower in the mornings for the same reason. My daughter lives with her boyfriend now, but when she lived with me she almost never left her room. She is a vegan also. And she had a blog. She was always pouring her heart out on camera. She kept a daily journal. I just stay busy and struggle through out the day. I meditate in the evenings, it helps. But I really want you to know something. I’m all the way in Boston, Massachusetts USA, you are reaching others all over the world who have similar struggles and You are making a difference and making an effect on others who need to hear this. You get yourself to where you need to be Mikayla, move to your own flat if you can. Surround yourself with other loving and like minded people who will love you no matter what. Please keep reaching out.... You are loved! ❤️
Im a marine. Suffering from anxiety depression BPD and PTSD. The fact that you can make your bed on a day you were really struggling is awesome I’m proud of you
stay strong, I suffer from bpd too and it's becoming always more difficult. try to go to therapy if you have the chance, it's helping me a lot. you aren't alone
@@evie7599 I did! I also found out I’m pregnant! And This baby cured my depression:) anything is possible! If you are spiritual go to God and he will take away all your pain 🤍
hey, i know you’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work but i promise GOD can heal you and be the answer to your problems. HE designed us in a way that only HE can fill the void within, but despite that, we still run to things that actually destroy the body and soul. alcohol/drugs/weed etc - liver damage, brain damage, cancer, lowers your ‘vibrations’, alters your state of mind and become entranced, invites evil entities. partying/clubbing - drains the soul of energy, invites evil entities. sexual activities (sex,porn) - leaves you empty, disgusted with self, shameful, creates soul ties (e.g. 10 bodies = 10 soul ties with each individual you had sex with including oral, and whichever evil spirits they have, they become yours also), invites evil entities. secular music - affects your subconscious by its frequency, invites evil entities. i know you believe in a higher power but maybe you just don’t know who that higher power is, but imma tell you that it’s GOD. not no religion, that’s man made, but the creator of the heavens and the earth. you can get to know HIM today. you can begin your journey of faith & spirituality. all you need to do is to ask for forgiveness and accept JESUS as your messiah. once you do that, the Holy Spirit will guide you into all truth. the veil will be lifted 👁 and the truth shall set you free. you’ll become awakened into the reality of this world.. the irreversible gene altering vaccines, the poisoned food and water supply, the 5G frequency manipulation, the government and their agendas, big pharma, truth behind social media, fake news, freemasonry, satanic cabal elites, the pope and religion, the flat stationary earth, the nasa space hoax, the truth behind school and why they indoctrinate us at a young age, the truth behind 9 to 5 jobs, the live to work until death regime, heaven & hell, the spiritual realm where demonic entities and angels operate and all things spiritual. there’s a lot to uncover, unlearn and unpack but the journey to salvation is narrow and only a few make it. choose which pill you will take - the blue pill (accept your fate and live life as it is, walk in the wide path of destruction which many are on) or the red pill (awake to this satanic matrix beast system, walk in the narrow path with CHRIST as your light, lose friends and validation but gain the reward of everlasting life in heaven) .. it’s up to you.
i been struggling for quite some time, sometimes you just gotta know your not alone, thats what this video did for me... TY
I have literal chills from watching this, I’m in tears. We can do this, we must stay strong together and fight for US, our life back. Stay strong hun ❤️❤️❤️
I’m three years late to this but wanted to thank you for posting your experience. I have dealt with anxiety and depression since teen years. It hasn’t gotten better with time. Also a recent incident with a co-worker purposely bringing covid to work has exasperated it.
I pray you are doing well and pray I can overcome this disease that robs me of all joy in my life.
I pray that You are doing well too! I obviously came to this video trying to help make sense of my current depression when i've done 'all the things'. be gently with yourself
have u tried something to make it better or... not tried
Depression is a horrible disease, my beautiful oldest daughter at 22 was killed in 2011 and a third of my heart died with her. Please know how loved you are by family, friends and fans. To end your life will create an unimaginable amount of grief and anxiety for those who you leave behind. I have so much to live for but at 55 years old I don’t have a day I don’t wish I was in Heaven.
I take a happy pill and a don’t give a chit pill 😂 and it helps me to be happier. Your voice is so beautiful and reminds me of my daughter who sang. Hang in there because not all days are bad
sometimes my own mind tricks me. i always try to invalidate my feelings because i dont think i deserve to feel these things. i dont go do therapy because i dont wanna bother my parents with my problems, and im falling in this loop where i cant do anything because im constantly hating myself, but at the same time i cant cry, i cant get my feelings out, and then im again invalidating my feelings and thinking that im just being dramatic. im on my last year of high school and i cant study to any college exam because im trapped. im trapped and i dont do anything about it.
anyway, im sorry for the long text, i just wanted to try to get my feelings out, and sorry for my english too,its not my native language.
Te entiendo amor, tus sentimientos son super válidos, y esta bien que te sientas como te sentís, no sos esas cosas feas que te decís, yo me las decia, y me di cuenta que en realidad pork vos te digas algo malo no tiene porqué ser cierto, si puedes ve a un psicólogo hace muy bien y empieza a tener hábitos lindos para ti, tipo actividades que te gusten, TMB un diario :3 y esas cositas, tu puedes!
@@shinratensei8433 your words made my day! thank you so much
I'm communicating with you because I am also an empath like you! You have such a beautiful soul and I know these times are challenging for us. I am grateful you are on the Earth. thank you for being here!
Just found you full of curiosity of your music & soul...then I was sad to see you struggling but honestly, this is one of the most courageous and honest videos I've ever seen about anxiety & all. I can really see you fighting: You made it out, got some coffee, find the beauty in nature around you, have your book, your patreons, music and all the people checking in to see how you're doing. I hope you find a place for you to breathe and create and tap even more into that strong lady fighting that's fighting every day! Lots of hugs from Germany! 🦋
i just had a weekend exactly like this. seeing you do little things in this video - like watching you make your bed & take a shower - made me feel so proud of you bc i feel proud of myself when i can bring myself to do things like that. i relate to so much of this. i hope you have a good day soon.
(she made it outside!)
Never ever feel you're hopeless or helpless. You're special in your own way Mikayla. You can always remember how people were touched by your first performance and your next ones. The emotion you put in the songs really touched people's heart. Some may be inspired by you, some may adore you, some may be even helped by you when they were struggling inside. You are inspiration for people, you are loved by people. You should always remember that somewhere there are people who are worried about you. Everytime you feel depressed or your anxiety becomes worse, always remember how valuable you are. Sorry if i talked way too much or too hard to understand, but one thing is that i believe you can get through all of these. You can always start slowly, step by step, not pushing yourself way too hard. In fact, you've already started it. You managed to go outside and get a cup of coffee when it's very hard for you. Next time, you can try to get water outside your room when there are people around for example. I know it may be really hard for now but you will completely be able to do that soon. Wherever you are there will be spaces for you to fit in. Fighting!♥️ also.. you should try to play some relaxing songs when you're sleeping, it can help a little. And chamomile tea can reduce stress and anxiety as well as curing your sleeplessness. You can try to drink that before sleep. Doing meditation can also make you feel more relax and calm. A simple exercise in your bedroom can make you feel livelier as well. So, Mikayla i believe you can overcome your depression and anxiety!! :)
Mikayla honey, I've been through this as well and the best advice I can give you is to want with all your soul and all your actions to get better.
For your boyfriend or your future kids if you want some or in order to help this or that friend get through something... Find a reason and hold on to it. And then force yourself to think positive all the time. Health and needing headspace and all are reasons but mostly excuses... Whenever you think about anxiety or feel anxious, think instead of thr reason why you need to get better, think about a task you should do later in the day, think about what you want to do tomorrow. Think positive and energetic :)
And maybe try find a sport that you like :)
All the best honey. You're not alone. Don't give up singing. Remember, do your best to stay positive !
To all those out there who suffer from anxiety and depression.
Just some thoughts and tips that might help: I like listening to Alan watts podcasts when I'm feeling blue, stressed out or when I need that little push or inspiration/motivation to go through what I have to do. The minimalists podcast and Alan watts, Decluttering, eating healthier and more nutritional, go for long walks in the forest, drinking more water, listening to classical music, reading books, not watching TV or news all the time, resting more and going to bed earlier + sleeping more. This helps for Me. Find what makes you calm and centered in your heart. Most people who suffer from anxiety and depression are highly sensitive. Highly sensitive people need more rest than others do and everything in our environment drains our energy since we take it all in more. Don't drink coffee or tea with caffeine in it, at all, since this will make your senses highly alert (this drains your energy even more and can most likely cause exhaustion, which again can explain the depression in some cases). Same goes for sugar and food with additives. Keep it clean, clutter free and center your body and soul. Yoga can also help.
The entire part where the car was parked on the roadside, that just was so true.. Even in the midst of so much suffering and pain we do a lot crazy things which gives us fun in our ways and yes, there is seriously something magical in nature ❤️
I cant emphasize enough how much I relate and identify with you in this video.
This video was really powerful. Could easily be a short film about the struggles of anxiety. Felt like I was watching my own life play out. The music is beautiful and fits so well. I feel for you and hope you're doing ok 🙏
Please don't do anything to yourself! You're worth it! You are AMAZING and beautiful!
I can sense your sadness, so many things you say and do are similar to what i say and do. Your eyes look so sad and tired, i hope youre doing better. Best of wishes❤
Thank you for this. Shows us we are not alone
this video is inspiring. thank you for sharing. I feel less alone.
I can relate to the needing your own place thing for that
I relate with every ounce of me. I thought having a space of my own would help too. Unfortunately for me, that only felt good for the first couple weeks... Since then, I've become too anxious to drive and binge eat since food is easier to access. There's no one in the house but me most days because I do work from home, but without the socialization.. I'm afraid things could take a turn. I hope not, I really do. With the help of my boyfriend and my family checking on me every so often, I really hope to get better. Soon.
YOU’RE NOT ALONE!!!!! We’re all human and it’s perfectly okay to feel anxious sometimes. A very wise mall Santa that I met, back in 2018, once told me that “even on the cloudiest day the sun STILL shines behind those clouds meaning that no matter how dark it looks, the sun is STILL there and the joy and happiness is there for you as well”. No matter how scary or how uncomfortable things get for you, just know that everything’s going to be okay because you deserve to feel safe, loved, comforted, encouraged and for those who loved you and who really want to help u and be there for you and stay by your side either way. Whether from friends, family or anyone you trust and feel safe with.
I maybe an autistic women whose probably may or may not have had a lot of panic attacks but I can honestly tell u. I’ve had anxiety attacks due to my fear of failure in school or at work and not being good enough as a person and losing my job and I’ve also struggled with anxiety and depression for quite a long time so I do understand perfectly well the feelings of worthlessness, lack of self esteem, anxiety, depression, self hatred, loneliness, feeling trapped, frustration, remorsefulness, insecurity and the feeling of wanting to get try to better yourself but always coming out as a failure. Plus having been through Covid and being forced to follow Covid safety protocols like many others, myself, has been deeply traumatizing and extremely difficult for me as well socially, mentally, physically and emotionally.
The point is, your anxieties, your depression and everything mental health related DOES NOT define u for who you are, it’s what’s inside your heart and all the things we’ve accomplished in life and the kind of person u REALLY are in your heart that truly defines u for who u are. Some people are not gonna always understand what you’re going through and maybe they never will but as long as you have the people in your life who loved and cared about you or that special someone whom deeply loves u and genuinely cares about u and will do anything in the world to help u to overcome this, you’re gonna come out even stronger and more courageous than ever and before you’ll know it, you’re gonna surprise people by how far you’ve come in the end.
The fact that you had the courage to make this video and open up about your inner struggles and your vulnerability REALLY MAKES U A MUCH STRONGER AND BRAVER PERSON IN MY BOOK and it say A LOT about you. Give yourself a pat on the back. U did an amazing job!! 😊😊
Stay strong, have courage, be kind to yourself, take heart and NEVER EVER give up hope because you ARE beautiful and practically perfect just the way you are in every way . ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I relate to this a lot...feeling too anxious to leave my room but at the same time living in a place where I don't feel good and confortable so I just feel anxious and depressed all the time with so little actually happy moments..
wishing you hapiness and hoping you can find a your own place
I can relate. All we have to know is how to pick ourselves up, build ourselves up when everything seems to be broken. Look for another angle. It is hard but you can do it. We love you! I hope you don't stop with ur music.
Sorry Im still in progress in improving my english.
I’ve felt so alone recently and like no one understands what I’m going through and this video helped me a lot, thank you for helping me feel a little less alone❤
Mikayla, thank you. I just moved into student accommodation and am having a very similar time. On top of that I have online classes so am trapped in my room even more...
Even if yoi don't feel it, you are doing a healthy thing by trying coping mechanisms like journalling. Sadly, my coping mechanism aren't ad healthy...
I'm crying I love you mikayla I just want you to be happy 😢😭I'm so sorry this is happening to you, you deserve the world
Our will to survive must be stronger than our anxiety.
I can’t tell if this is an inspirational thing or not, but if it’s not then:
It’s called SuIcIdE
i just want you to know you're not alone and you WILL get through this
Light through the trees is one of my favorite things. Sometimes, just walking out the door is winning a battle that some people can never understand. It is brave and worthwhile to share your struggle with others. You are brave and worthwhile, especially when you least feel like it, yet find a way to step outside. I know how hard it can be when you feel as though you have no space for yourself, I've lived with that feeling much of my life. Find a place where you can be loud, where you can create, look for light, I promise you can find it and that it is there for you.
Thank you for being honest. We look up to you guys and it's important to know we are not alone and you are not alone. Also try watching welcome to the NHK, it really helped me
I can understand you a little bit. I have my bedroom (I'm a student and I'm studying abroad), but I feel like I am not completely free since I live with other people. This is giving me stress, I would prefer to live alone but I can't.
You have to do something to feel less depressed! You're an amazing, creative and talented girl ✨
I have social anxiety too i feel you totally its hard to get out of my room too but we have to fight hard don't give up. After all fresh air and sunlight are living needs....
So sad, and on the other hand so natural, so beautiful. Your broken soul heals other souls and makes them happier. I hope you'd finally find peace yourself, sweetheart.
I was stuck in my room for 4 years. I only left a handful of times. The only thing that helped beyond meds and a therapist was exposure. If you can't do customer service try something like dog walking. Your interaction with people will be minimal and you get to hang out with dogs all day. I started with just a couple of walks and worked my way up from there. And remember any time you try is a good choice. Even if you try to go outside but can't bring yourself to it.. the endurance to keep trying is all that matters.
You have great skills, the video editing is amazing, as they say in those sci fi movies "you are more powerful than you could ever know".... We are all empty vessels sailing on a stormy sea and I have sunk more times than I can remember but here I stand. (or rather sit) Stay cool
Omg… I have been the exact same here lately… like today, I took a nap and I woke up and I had to go pee so bad that my bladder started to hurt… & I didn’t want to go out to use the restroom because my brother ex gf who is a friend of mine now was over visiting my parents.. so I know exactly how you feel.. & for myself… I feel kind of embarrassed because I am 27… but whatever is humans are not perfect! And that is okay. Thank you for sharing this video… your not alone. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel 🤍
Hi! I also avoid people and am super anxious around others! I act like a scared little mouse all the time. At 25 it’s hard to do adult things. Sometimes I wonder if I’m meant for this world, if that makes sense? Everything is so scary.
I am 27, you are not alone. I didn't struggle so much when I was younger, but the pandemic happening has been awful for my mental health.
Jenny I could've written that comment myself I relate soo hard.
@@bunniezzz777 sweetheart you are not alone!! Do things even if your afraid! That’s what I’m trying to do right now! This shall
Pass! & this will make you stronger woman! I have friends telling me this exact thing and I don’t really like hearing it but they are right! If you ever need someone to talk with I’m here 🤍
@@bunniezzz777 you are meant for this world but the ppl who designed this world didn't consider us ❤️
Hey Mikayla, I'm watching this all in the way in Guyana, South America.
I think that u are a beautiful and strong soul. Writing in a journal works for me. I would feel free after wards and sometimes I would look back and see what I've been through and smile that i didn't let that break me but build me.
Only u can make urself happy. U r very strong and i admire that, do not let anything or anyone tell you otherwise.
Tbh i don't know what you're going thru. I've been in a place that i felt numb, stupid, sad, like extremely sad with no reason to the point that i don't want to feel anymore. But the fact that I'm the eldest of 4 made me push myself to do better. Those feelings always come back to me no matter what. I struggled and still am. I can only wish the best for you. Hang in there!!
you are the sun of this world, you should shine and not be sad (
I related a lot to this video but that part where you said you didn’t get water or coffee from the kitchen because you were anxious about the people, I like really got that. I do that too but it’s my own family, I don’t do it always but I’ll start to dread interacting with my loved ones and if I do end up leaving my room I’ll tip toe around the house to avoid them even though they make me happy but my brain makes me think that every interaction is a mistake so I avoid it.
it’s been almost two months. i can’t even go to school anymore and people telling me no one is gonna wait for me makes me even more desperate to end it all.
I will always love you lots baby
@@jareddirksen6212 i saw this only now thank u sm
@@mitskigf your welcome stay well ❤️🩹
I really hope that you will find something that you love to give you motivation to get on with life. I've been very lost myself the last two months
I can’t ever go to sleep in time bc of it at night when I try to rest my mind just goes, I don’t end up going to bed until 6 and then I wake up around 2-5 🤦🏽♀️
I’m 21 and have felt like shit ever since I could remember, I genuinely cannot find joy in anything. Nothing sparks my interests & when I try something new i’m always hard on myself and then stop. I just smoke a lot & scroll to keep myself here but idk how long I can keep doing that, it’s slowly starting to not help me anymore.
we are the same person.
How are you doing ?
Good on you for making this video and expressing your feelings like this
This gives me a good understanding about people that deal with this kind of stuff since there’s a lot of them
This is a amazing video and I believe shows a bit of what some days can be like for people who suffer and I thank you for making it, and showing us who you are and its beautiful. PS night drives with the Stars good music and chill vibes are the best ever
i wish somebody would make a how to get your lif together for severe anxiety and depression. i just dont know where to start
sameee sometimes i wish i had a life assistant to tell me what to do when i look at my life it feels so overwhelming i lost everything and idk how to get them back again
It's crazy.. For us, just facing people within the same building can be a hurdle, or even a full blockage. People on the outside don't grasp that idea, not really wanting to leave
I can relate to anxiety and depression. I’ve had times where it’s hard to function, like where you are right now. Since you are a grown woman, I don’t understand why you can’t get on some medications that can help you get to a better place. You need to be able to work, because depending on others for support, that in itself is a depressing way to live. I don’t promote that everyone take medication, but if it gives you a better quality of life, it is worth it. It is worth it to get you to a better place in your life, where you can support yourself and pursue your dreams. Suicidal ideation is a dangerous mindset. So please Mikayla get yourself some help.
i can't afford help at the moment financially, but thank u for saying i should try. i have been x.
I hope ur doing better. I was loooking this up. Bc.... well for a little back story. I was dealing with an addiction for 5 yrs. I just got out of rehab 7 months ago. And i feel like many things were thrown in my direction. My ex was really toxic. My mom has so many things going on n constantly leaves me with everything she cant do. I push myself to go to work. But there are days i cant get moving and then there are days i dont wanna leave my room. N everybody thinks im being selfish n lazy. But sometimes i just want to just scream n tell everyone i dont care. But i just force myself to go to work wishing one day i just never wake up
I stumbled upon this video because of the voice, i hope you get what you want in life because i think every one deserves to be happy. keep up the fight and smile because you have a beautiful smile and you deserve to be happy.
I suffer with acute anxiety and depression and I'm also agoraphobic. So know exactly 💯 how you feel I really really do xx
I rarely ever cry, especially when watching UA-cam but you really just made me cry. When you talked about hardly eating and drinking water because of your anxiety to go out of your room, I felt that so much and I never would’ve thought that other people feel like this as well, I always feel so fucking crazy, I can relate with you so so much, the being quiet part too. I’m so sorry for all of us who experience this, we all deserve a happy fulfilled life but it’s so much harder for us..
I give you big props for trying and going out. I know exactly how that tight chest feels. Lately I’ve been getting better from that mostly I feel my energy so low that makes me wanna stay in bed all day. But it’s nice to know I’m not alone 💛 anxiety and depression are very hard to go through. But there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for sharing your video love! Hope your doing better 🙏🏽
Hi, can I have your email? I would like to help. Thank you
@@MZFiVETW000H thank you
Kristina Takakuwa thank you girl 💛
You are so beautiful and have an amazing soul. keep you head high so many people love you, life is a challenge no one is perfect at it but your killing it keep fighting threw it.
I had axeity and depression since I was 10.. I haven't let anyone notice that about me. Everyone use to call me the quiet kid or the kind hearted I'm selfless and think about others and what they might feel if I was to tell them what I'm going though then that would be a problem, I have lots to tell but I can't explain how I'm feeling I'm lost I'm know 14 and I still never showed anyone my secret 😓 (plus mom's forcing me to go out more so I end up with some burning tension in my lungs it hurts and it so scary I can't explain it sorry for wasting your time.
Ik what your gonna through, I'm 16 and i suffer from depression and anxiety as well, it feels like no one understands how u feel no even your own family I'm going through a lot mentally right know with a toxic family. honestly the best thing u could do is try activities like drawing, I've started drawing recently and put my headphones on and just jam out to music and it's really helped me forget about everything, there's many people going thrue the same thing your going thrue just know your not alone❣
Haha this is so sweat of you, That's one of my hobbies I love to spend some time draw,sketching and jamming to music too it's so calming😊
For me it's just like I can't feel what I'm feeling , I'm 13 😗
Don't worry I'm 13 and same, Also i see you're an army right? So please know that you always have bangtan and us ARMYs back! 💜
Its not easy to handle depression..nobody know it and i dont tell anyone..im introvert person too..back at the day i had migraine and i cried everyday,every night..stuck in my room..too many pressure i cant handle it by myself and i dont know how to handle it..i lose control and i almost kill myself 2 times..then i manage to deal with it because of 2 reason..my mom and my gf..day by day i pray a lot (i am muslim),be a positive person..smile always..i enjoy football and gaming..and i have lots of friends..now im already ok..trust me u can do it too..love yourself and be positive 😊
Be strong. I know u can do it
Listen to this : ua-cam.com/video/iMqwpK1TvCc/v-deo.html
Me too girl.. me too! Anxiety meds saved my life! I didn’t wanna take medication but it’s the best thing I ever did!
I have been trapping myself in my room for almost 2 years now...too much to say, don't know where to start.
same..
Same 23/M here don't know where I went wrong
4 years for me :( life is so tough
I did for eight months it sucks
I’m going to try to go out today after a year of not going outside imma be nervous but imma try
Wow You went outside im proud of you for pushing yourself out there!!!!! good job
Thank you for this video. It’s very helpful in times of trouble to be reminded that i’m not the only one feeling like this. I also hope you know that it does get better. It really does and when it does you’ll be forever thankful for yourself. You are also so beautiful🥰. I hope the pain eases soon. Much love!❤️❤️
U r Not alone. But if u live alone u might just Isolate yourself which is really bad for your mental health too. U do what is Best for You! I can’t even get out of bed and take a shower. It is an Aweful way to live. I am just existing not living. I can’t stand it anymore. Good luck with everything.
Same, it’s a whole other level of suffering there.
You have achieved way too much.... Just be strong and don't let those suicidal thoughts get in the way of that....I personally see potential in you,you are amazing....Be strong and see how you'll overcome your fears. 💎💎💎
Lots of love to you and everyone else writing here.
Hey mikayla, I don't know what it feels like to be in your shoes but I some people that are. And from watching your video and listening to your story, it makes me wish I was there by your side. When you feel this way you have to get out you cannot be stuck in that room when you feel this way. You need to find a way to get angry at your anxiety or depression don't be quiet about it if you want to scream scream scream as loud as you can just find and yourself to kick that door down. I know you probably heard all this before and I noticed you read a lot I see all the books in the background during your videos there's one book I like you to look into it's called your best self you can look it up on Amazon it might help you. I hope this brings you some comfort like I said I wish I was by your side lots of love best of luck be strong seeing you this why is not who you are peace out like I said I wish I can fly down there and give you the biggest hug you ever had 💘💞💗💓💝💜💛💚💖
I'm sorry to say that I can relate to this experience. Depression has always made even the most simple of social tasks seemingly impossible, and while I know depression manifests itself differently in everybody, I feel as if everybody who has struggled with depression can understand each other, if only just a tiny portion. This is my experience with depression, and I hope by sharing it, you can maybe gain something positive from it like your fans and I did from this video.
Depression sinks into your very soul, and you stop knowing how to love yourself; the thought just isn’t fucking there, and to even hear it, write it, be surrounded by the constant reminders of "Love yourself" does nothing when you feel as if you need that self love to EARN the love of others. People with depression put much more stock into what others say and think about them versus what they think of themselves. That concept of self love? Do you realize how completely IMPOSSIBLE it SEEMS to someone with depression? Of course self-love is real, and so very important, but seems like utter BULLSHIT to someone with depression. "Why the fuck should I love myself? What have I done to deserve any love?" Those are the thoughts that LIVE inside the mind. Everybody feels those thoughts once in awhile, everybody feels down and useless and yes, we all bend and break and regret and wish for change and a chance to do it over, but people with depression LIVE that. EVERY. SINGLE. SECOND. And sure, in moments they can feel brave, strong, and as if the fight is worth it, but those moments are so, so hard. As a friend to someone with depression, do not ever say "This shit is getting old." You've only seen the surface, and yes it isn't fair for a friend to have to ALWAYS deal with someone who is constantly down in the dumps, but if you say that line you are pretty much ensuring some major self-hatred in the future. People with depression understand how much of a burden they can be, how much they place onto others, and how unfair that is. THAT ALSO ADDS TO THE NEGATIVE/DEPRESSING FEELINGS. And asking "Well why are you depressed" is an oxymoron; there is no real answer, and thinking about it makes the person feel even worse; they have no "real" reason to feel bad, and that makes the guilt even worse. So what can you do for someone who seems to be suffering from depression? Exist to them. Do not try to take them out of there comfort zone in an attempt to make them "change". By saying they need change, you enforce the idea that they are broken, which they ARE NOT. They aren't depressed because they stay in, watch movies, don't want to go out, don't want to drink, etc etc. By forcing a change in habit you are forcing a person to believe that to be happy, they HAVE to conform to a new way of life. They just want to FEEL NORMAL DOING EVERYTHING. That is it. Plain and simple. The depressed want to be able to listen music, write a song, go for a walk without feeling so damn, fucking morbid about it. They want to feel what others feel, to feel as if they aren't wasting time, wasting space, wasting away for nothing. The problem is they never can accept that they need to just do what fulfills them; that whole "do whatever makes you happy" line. Depression means when you find something that makes you happy, you feel GUILTY about it, like why do you deserve something like this? Why do you deserve to smile? To laugh? THAT IS THE CONSTANT THOUGHT PROCESS FOLKS. Everything becomes a big question of why why why and o me me me. And to top it all off, they realize how selfish that sounds, to only think about themselves, how this process of constantly feeling as if you deserve nothing is actually dragging down those closest to you, and makes depression a self-fulfilling prophecy. So, to recap all of that: People with depression feel hopeless, and because of that they feel guilty. The guilt is what really kills; guilt of not DESERVING LOVE, guilt of not BEING NORMAL, and also the guilt of not having a REAL REASON to feel depressed. How should you help alleviate this guilt? Try doing something for them that THEY want to do. Go see that movie they mentioned, just because. Grab a bite to eat somewhere they like. Try to bend a little to what they want, what they feel comfortable with, and ease them into new situations. Let them see that what THEY want to do has merit, isn't weird or strange, and that they can smile without feeling like they aren't deserving of it. Start small, don't expect big changes, and don't expect this whole new person. Put value into what they love, even if they won't admit they love it, which they won't because they won't feel as if they deserve to, but they need to know that it's all OKAY. Depression takes away the feeling that what we are matters, and breaks us down to feeling as if we did nothing but waste the time of others, and we need to end that wastefulness ASAP. Be patient, be kind, remind people how much they matter, how much they mean to the world. Sure, they may not believe you at first (and they won't) but just hearing it gives pause, gets the gears turning, and for a few precious moments someone can escape from depression and feel as if the world isn't crashing down around them. A few more moments like that, and suddenly your head is above water more often than under, and you realize that sure, maybe I can't breathe underwater like the rest of the fish, but holy shit I can swim!
I know how you feel, I really do.
Hi, so, I got here because I got curious about the life of someone depressed, how are they days, they behaviors, what they like to do. I don't telling they're strangers or something like this. I got so touched and surprised, I was thinking that depressed people were like in the movies, always crying, trying to kill themselves, always drinking or smoking or even both. But not, when I saw she's laughing and talking about how much that game makes her feel better, it hited me. Some people must have so many problems, or be so sad inside, but they're not always crying, they smile too, they're happy sometimes. So it makes me think, in how the depressed people could be us and we even know or even care. I'd like to give a hug in every person who's like her, or like the other's millions. That's it, idk if u are going through it, but I know how shitty it is, and trust me, it would be better, always be, one way or another. Feel yourself hugging.
thank you so much for writing this. this is so sweet
@@caitlinw8351 You're welcome :)
Love you Mikayla ! You have so much to give to the world.
This is exactly what I was looking for and you have such a beautiful personality. Subscribed!
Hey, don't let the depression get to you all by yourself 😢. Sometimes you need someone to gain your self confidence, to gain your hope, and stop thinking about things because there is something that you are LOOKING FORWARD.
Don't worry I hope one day someone will be by your side...
😄 If you meant love I just mean FRIENDS!!!
OwO
I have extreme anxiety at the gas pump, I now hardly leave my house too.
Sending you so much love. You're amazing 🌈
Keep your chin up girl, you may not think so but there are worse situations than this. Stay strong and try to be positive. BIG hugs from Texas👊🏻
Dear Mikayla,
I know that people who are lonely and/or have depression have way more in their disposition because they are observers. What I have also learned is that people who have depression love life more and appreciate what they have. For instance, I am on antidepressants and almost committed a suicide a few months ago but only after that I realized that life is so beautiful and there are so many things to achieve and share with people who actually care. Happiness is sometimes just a night ride through your fav places. Now I can say that it was really fun to go through depression since I understood myself. Also look at yourself. You enjoy simple things as vegan pies, a good book in the car and so on. I am very happy that there are similar people to me who enjoy writing, silence, good books, night rides, and late coffee. Whenever you will decide to laugh from all the problems please reach out people who support you. You are a wonderful person! :))
Linas Bagdonas (@monegard)
This popped up on my recommendation out of no where, i know i’m late it’s been 2 years since you post this but i just wanna explain some things i feel.
I don’t think I’m depressed i was never diagnosed with it or anything but i been feeling so empty and lost and i’m just so tired I struggle so hard with hygiene it takes me like 6/7 days to shower sometimes even more i’ve been trying to shower every other day but i’m just so unmotivated to do anything, i’ve been kept busy with helping my mom re decorate the house I didn’t have the motivation but i had to do it but it’s almost done now and i don’t know what to do after this i wanna be off the phone and do something like normal things but there is nothing for me to do to keep me busy. I find distracting myself from my problems helps me. But i have no motivation to do anything to help me get distracted. Cleaning my room is a struggle i always take a week to fix my bed again but I can’t seem to do the easiest thing cause i’m just so unmotivated. I have no friends except for 1 she’s 10 i’m 13 but I don’t wanna put all of that on her and she doesn’t really understand so I don’t tell anyone how i feel because i feel nobody understands me, also i’m scared to talk to anyone about it because they would go far and won’t be calm and just tell me “you have no reason to be sad” i also understand that. I don’t have a reason to be sad but i just don’t know why am i like this, it’s like i’m numb i don’t feel emotion unless i play a certain music to make me cry. Other then that i’m just numb like i always act normal and chill around my parents but it’s actually hard to act it cause sometimes i just stare at nothing and just think and they ask if i’m okay i always say i am but tbh I don’t even know myself I don’t know if i’m being stupid and looking like i’m asking for attention which i don’t i really don’t but in so many ways it looks like it and I’m not trying to say i have depressed for attention but i just don’t know? I also over eat because it gives me something to do and i really hate it i been just eating almonds or a few pieces of popcorn and pieces of cheese these couple days cause i feel i eat too much. I also had a few crackers today so i feel i messed up and everything. I’ve lost weight a couple months ago but i just gained it back and i’m so unhappy with myself i just wish i was skinny i’m overweight i’m 5’8 and i weigh 190 i always wear hoodies to hide everything because i’m really insecure ok i’m sorry i just realized i changed the topic to my weight. Also I can’t sleep at night i stay up sometimes until 10am and i don’t get tired but then when i go to sleep i wake up at 5pm which is really bad and melatonin isn’t helping me and i just get more tired everyday when i wake up. I never had the problem about being tired when i wake up, yea i’d stay up late till like 6/7 but i’d be perfectly fine when i wake up but now i’m really tired i need something to do i want things to do but at the same time i’m only 13 it’s not like i can go drive around and look at the gorgeous outside like other teenagers could, i can’t go on walks cause my parents are scared if i get kidnapped which i don’t blame them but my neighborhood is just old people that can’t even walk and our area is more safe then other areas. I do feel if i go outside i’ll feel better, the cold is so nice it gives me a fresh feeling but not the one where it’s below 0 lol i like it cold but not overly cold you know what i mean ? Lol anyways i just wanna be normal yk? My dog does help me and keeps me busy ngl but she can’t keep me busy all day yk she sleeps a lot and eats and barks then sleeps 😭 but i mostly just wish i can sleep most of the time and just stay in my bed but my mom always makes me stay upstairs until 8 or 9 pm cause my room is downstairs ok i’m sorry I’m rambling too much about my life
Dude, we’re twins. Not that it’s a good thing… but it makes me think, I’m not alone man. It’s a relief because there’s others who deal with almost the same thing I go through. It makes me feel like I’m not doomed, I’m normal, I’m not crazy. I’m just a victim of something I didn’t cause. I mean it does still suck, but It brings at least a little relief. I read everything and this urge to connect with you is substantial lol
You need professional help 💖 hope you get it
Caise this was me when i one psychologist told me i was fine, thrn went on to another and finally got diagnosed
um.. same
Going off of the length of this comment, you're clearly just overthinking things. Think less and do something worth your time.
hey i think we have the same life, but its ok stay strong darling🤍 I'll always be there for you no matter what😁 you're really amazing and I love your videos so so much! and also thank you so much for sharing this, I really appreciated that :)
I know how you love singing... Keep on singing mikayla.
Life is hard, hard work is rewarded, and let nothing stand in the way or distract you from what you want, and try to enjoy the journey getting there. Anxiety is valuing too much of what others think, No one excels thinking that way. Focus inwards, on you, and you mastering your craft. Dont get distracted, by nonsense. Much Love.
P.L.U.R.
Currently going through the same thing I’ve been battling anxiety since 2020 it went away for a year but came back around March
We twining my anxiety came back at the worst possible time I'm starting UNI in 3 weeks
Literally feeling the same hell
This is me. Everyday.