My advice based on improvements I’ve experienced so far… stop thinking, start doing. Seriously. Thinking is not the solution to this problem. I don’t really believe this is an “illness” so to speak, I think it’s more like a false connection in the mind. It’s a habit of the brain and body that is maladaptive. You’re not SICK. Your body has just learnt a response that isn’t helpful. You have to expose yourself and not stop. No excuses. No “I’m too tired”. It’s hard… but just DO. Don’t think. You NEED the proof, then really focus on the positives of what you’ve achieved. You can do it. Keep telling yourself. You can do it. Again. You can do it.
Going to have to pin this comment. And I have to say, I agree with your perspective on this not being so much an illness but a (learned) imbalance in response and habitual behaviour. Although this seems to be a perspective that causes a lot of 'inflammation', shall we say, among many people, and I get it. I think it can become an illness in the sense that we deprive ourselves of what we need to thrive as humans - social connection, proper exposure to sunlight and nature, - as well as engaging in a perpetuation of the stress response and a decrease in self-belief and personal empowerment. But the constant searching for a 'cure' to an illness that doesn't technically exist is what seems to keep us locked in this cycle of trying to fight, force and fix our way into balance. Our bodies are always seeking balance, but the directives from our mind tend to throw that off. I think this is why the 'doing' tends to help more than the talking or the thinking...because when we DO, our body is taking charge, and thus, moving towards balance in a way that we can physically FEEL.
i know saying you're not sick is supposed to be motivational and helpful , i just wanna add from my perspective , for my case it makes me depressed to hear that. all growing up i was told im not sick and that it's my fault because its my brain. i to embarrassed to get help because no one take me serious or try to understand. and i was depressed alot growing up to , so hearing im not sick when anxiety was at a point of starting to be an issue, just made me want to isolate even more and ignore every issue. i like you're advice but i 100% believe anxiety disorders can be a real sickness/ illness . im 27 and still stuck in this loop sadly. no job not much life. thankfully i do know things are going to change one day i just really need support but with this illness and being alone for many years, its actually really hard to get the help i need but i know its possible . the worst symptom for me is sweating, i don't get pee urges, but i do get sweat attacks and i hate it so much because you cant hide it. if it were not for that, i think people would see me as 100% normal on the outside and i probably would be more comfortable around others even under an attack , but boi let me tell you how much it suck, to have an attack when your stuck in a group, and sitting down, face to face, and all a sudden i be looking like i went for a run. in the past i couldn't even wipe the sweat i was paralyzed, thankfully now , i wipe . but its so difficult living with this illness. i do feel alot better now , being older and kinda understanding whats going on. i think we can all get some what better at least , just need the support and no hate towards you're comment btw :) you're advice is good for doing and not thinking and not making excuses.
@@KatouMiwa I really do feel you, but if the sweating is a response to the anxiety you feel… you need to get used to it. Because you will sweat less and less as you reduce your stress response to the situation. So work out what exactly is the trigger for you. Is it being outside? Is it talking to people? And start doing it. Face the fear. Embrace the sweat. It is the avoidance of our symptoms and our response to fear that actually turns anxiety into an illness… not the anxiety itself.
@@quendelfHow much am I supposed to embrace it? I can't seem to get accustomed to anxiety, I can talk to people but most of the time I'm quiet, it's been years in the working environment and I can only get better through meditation and medication
@@KatouMiwa Mental illness is a disease that's why a lot people commit suicide! Panic attacks and agoraphobia is very much a sickness! It also can be in a person's DNA. The brain thoughts were not an option for her. I would to love to see a follow up to see if she is mentally balanced.
In case someone finds this looking for help, one of the major shifts that helped me breakdown agoraphobia was changing my mindset to give as much compassion to myself when I was struggling as I would give my best friend. Once I stopped judging myself for not fitting into this idea of what normal was and started welcoming the discomfort as I reminded myself that these are all just sensations, windows of peace started opening up. Like Lauren, I did everything external to try to “fix” me. It wasn’t shifting my life. We are feeling beings who learned to think, not thinking beings who learned to feel. Some things you can’t think your way out of. Lauren, you give great examples of how to act your way into a better headspace. Thank you for your content!
Yes! Thank you Rachel. This is very valuable and I think you worded it beautifully - "fitting into this idea of what normal was" is exactly the way I look at it (but forever have to remind myself 😂)
Wow, this made me cry. It’s been 4 years for me now and I’m at my lowest point, feeling insane part. This made me feel very hopeful. Today I’m struggling just to go down to the laundry room in my apartment complex, I haven’t done laundry in a month or so because it gives me so much anxiety being down there. I haven’t showered in months because I’m scared I’ll fall and die while I’m in there. I sit in my spot on my bed all day, everyday. I never used to be like this, it just slowly built up to where I’m at. This motivated me to get up and at least do my laundry.❤️
@@davestelling Thank you so much for what you said, that definitely makes me feel better, I appreciate it. I’ve been trying to find a new therapist because the one I had was exposure therapy based and I don’t know why exactly but our sessions ended after three years. I believe it’s because I wasn’t doing enough exposures on my own so she didn’t know what to do with me anymore? I don’t know, anyway, so for the last year I’ve been trying on my own, books and videos mostly but I do think I need a therapist again, just for the support and accountability at least. Thank you for reaching out.
@@heatherrochellelux6935embrace the suck. Now that nothing can happen to you. When you feel bad and scared stand your ground and let it pass. Baby steps but don’t retreat. It’s like walking against heavy wind. 💨 slowly keep moving forward and don’t look back. God bless you. Mass as helped me a lot.
Small steps!!! Maybe laundry turns into something else. Maybe that something else turns into a little walk outside. Maybe that little walk turns into a visit somewhere close by. It’s all a work in progress, always, and that’s ok! I’m so sorry to hear you have been feeling at your lowest - it’s awful for anyone to be feeling that way. Just remember that sometimes it takes those “lowest” moments before we rise up again. Little by little. Keep me posted on how you go - I’m here for you!
@@SapphireSage964 I’m doing okay 💜💜💜 I just started back with my old therapist about 3 weeks ago. It’s definitely been overwhelming but I’m feeling much more hopeful? I’ve had some good days in there where I was able to do some bigger exposures like going into a store and going for a walk:) So far I haven’t done anything alone but I’m working up to that hopefully.💜 I’m sorry that you suffer with this as well, it’s really awful! I hope you are doing good, it’s tough for sure💜💜💜💜💜
I have struggled with agoraphobia for many years. I have slowly been doing things and it’s been amazing. I went on a hot air balloon ride recently and it was the best! I’m flying for the first time in over 20 years in 8 days and I’m starting to feel really afraid, but I want to travel more than anything.
@@LaurenRose. It went really well!! I was never so happy. Going on a real trip was amazing. I have already booked another flight to visit a friend who has wanted me to come see her for years. I’m finally living!!
I remember the time I went to the beach for the first time after I started having horrible debilitating panic attacks, I literally cried watching the sea because I had convinced myself that I would never be able to do so again. I feel like exposure therapy is probably the best way to treat the problem! Also, supplements such as magnesium glycinate and vitamin D are super important (specially if you have a deficiency which is very probable since you don’t get any sunlight for months or years being trapped inside your house) I still have a long way to go since I still have attacks during traffic or dentists for example, but I feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel!
a year ago my agoraphobia started with a stomach flu!! recently i’ve developed it again and i feel like nobody fully understands me and it’s so nice to know that im not alone, i went on my first walk today and also to a store!! still not feeling super great but i don’t want this to ruin my life anymore. i hope everyone else fighting with this finds something that helps them even a little bit :)
I believe our gut and brain connection can cause this, as mine set in after months with an intestinal parasite infection. Crazy! Home bound for three months and NOT normal for me.
@@lemonlennonlenin3970 my recovery has been very up and down but mostly it’s just learning to be okay with being uncomfortable! and honestly changing to a more positive mindset has really helped :) (and adult diapers as a safety net when i go out lol)
Even knowing that exposure therapy is what I need to do, I just can't seem to do it. I find myself not wanting to do anything anymore, just sitting here, waiting till I can eat or go back to bed. Sometimes I get the drive for things, working out, learning a new language, writing, drawing, exc, but that feeling goes away after a couple days and I'm back to doing nothing. It's almost as if I'm scared if I got better, I still wouldn't do anything. I'm at my end with this disorder, just wasting away. I've gained 100 pounds and now am obese and my body is basically deteriorating. Making it even more difficult to do anything because now I've added to agoraphobia. Thank you for sharing yourself in this video though, it gives me a small amount of hope. I've overshared in this comment but maybe you'll appreciate the vent.
I think it's really important (and helpful) to remember that motivation will always ebb and flow. And oftentimes, it's more of a snowball effect - action causes motivation, not the other way around. So whether you have the drive or not - the action is important. I hear what you're saying with "I just can't seem to do it"...boy, do I hear that!! That's me, so often, with a myriad of other things. What helps me the most is to remind myself that humans are creatures of habit more than anything else, and what I always do is what I will continue to always do. So again - the action is the most important part. Even if I don't want to, even if I didn't do it the day before or the week before or the month before, even if half of me says 'whats the point?', even if I do it an hour later than I said I was going to. As long as you are alive and breathing, it is quite literally never too late to take action in some way.
Yeah in a way you have to "play life" or "be an actor" with your life. Because the motivation to do anything or to even leave the house isn't there, you have to pretend to care about things. I'll get myself to yoga, as if I care. I'll get the groceries, as if I care. I'll walk on the shoreline, as if I care. I don't care, I don't care, and then I find myself being slightly surprised that I sort of care. You ever get the sense people on social media are pretending all of their life? Like, is the acai bowl something that they're that grateful for? It's sort of like that, except you're actually tricking yourself into caring. It's a bizarre feeling, but I often notice my desire to be in bed is greater than anything, and I have to actively work against it through acting.
My agoraphobia started in 2020, I blame being back at home due to covid. I worked really hard that year and a half and started getting better. Got married, then pregnant soon after; in my third trimester I started getting really anxious and had my first panick attack after 3 years the agoraphobia came back and I'm trying to remember what helped me the first time; it's hard dealing with postportum and now this again but watching your video definitely makes me optimistic about the future because I don't want to waste time with my daughter.
It's like I'm seeing myself 😢 , it's gives me hope that I can keep pushing through this, and finally heal from it, toilet anxiety is so real and can be so awful to live with. But it's people like yourself that help beyond words, thank you so sharing and for being you xx
Thank you for the videos 🩷 I went from being housebound two years ago to now doing food delivering all day, every day and going to huge arenas to see concerts. I’m still recovering, but it’s absolutely doable. You’re an inspiration and help so many people!
Thank you for sharing your story! I'm myself fighting against agoraphobia since 1 year, even if it comes to me as a "yo-yo" effect, coming and getting away at any given moment. I make myself strong and I try always to put myself in outdoor situations, and most importantly, to put the physical pains under control (as you have said too, they never are "fully real", so no, we are not going to faint or lose control etc 🙂). In some moments I manage to overcome the fear, in some others I need to walk back home, but only with trying and doing we will fight this. A huge hug to everyone in the same situation, we will do this, it is really just a phase ;)
I think I always struggled with this, but the pandemic has solidified it for me. I make excuses not to go somewhere and I have to mentally rehearse before I do anything. I envision the parking lot, the traffic, the people pushing their carts, etc. It's taken years, but I've finally connected the dots as to why I feel strange and even dumber when I'm out and about. In the grocery store I can forget why I'm there. Now that I know what's wrong I can feel some relief. The trick is simply exposure. Every day get out and do one thing that you don't want to do and you train your body.
Every thing you said is literally word for word what I struggle with. Going to the store. The mailbox. My backyard sometimes. It’s horrible and I’m glad your better ❤
Thank you so much for having the courage to share your story! I’ve been battling agoraphobia for almost 3 years now, I can leave the house but I just find it difficult to go further than a 1 kilometre radius. I’m also dealing with long covid and peri menopause so my hormones are all out of wack! I feel like hormones internal health, gut health plays a big part in why we could start having panic attacks that can lead to agoraphobia. Our gut is literally our second brain.
This is probably the first video on UA-cam that describes exactly what I’m going through (except I deal with dizziness instead of diarrhea). I can relate especially when seeing friends and people on social media doing so many things and wondering, “how?!”
I'm glad you've found it helpful! And yes.....it always seemed so baffling to me that people could exist and do things so 'easily' when the smallest thing for me seemed so hard!
Before I got dizzy and nauseous but started to hyperventilate, that’s the time i feel it’s worse than before. I experienced this when i was a child then got over with it then it came back and got over with it but now, im stuck.
I can relate so much!!! I’ve suffered with health anxiety / agoraphobia for 4 years now. But looking back to how I used to be, I’ve come on so far!! My goal that my therapist asked, was to be able to fly to Greece from the UK to see my parents. In April 2024, I flew, by myself (and my daughter) to Greece and I made it! Every little win keeps you going and makes you realise that it is really just in your head. That little anxiety voice that used to be shouting at me, is now a little whisper 😁👍 wishing everyone struggling the best and keep going!!!
I relate to every single thing you said in this video. 4 years ago I didn't think I'd still be here but I'm back at work full time and I have my first holiday booked in 8 years (not on a plane yet but I'm working on it). I actually am able to use my experiences on a daily basis to relate better to my patients and the students I work with 💪 Living with panic disorder and agoraphobia gives you a crazy sense of strength once you start recovering.❤
Thank you for sharing this video. After over 2 years of living this way - following a traumatic event - I ended up like this in my 30s. Your video really spoke to me, you experienced everything I did and we have both taken the same route. I'm mid way through what I would call my 'recovery'. I regularly go outside for short bursts. I still struggle with being enclosed (theatre, in a meeting, events where I feel I can't leave) but I'm working on that in the same way - doing a little bit more of it when I feel able to and I do hypnotherapy every day (tape) for confidence building/relaxation. Slowly, slowly I'm getting there. This year I've booked events for my business which will mean I'm both out of the house for long periods and will not be able to run off. Fingers crossed 2024 will be a more normal year xx
I feel you! I hate when people find things that help and then try to charge others for it. Idk how Anyone who have truly experienced agoraphobia or panic attacks could charge someone for that information
I’m in the ‘breakdown’ stage rn and made me just ball my eyes out feeling recognised. So lovely and so happy you are where you are now. Gives me hope ❤
Thank you for sharing your story. Your videos have helped me throughout my healing process. Two years ago, I was going through a divorce, moving back with my parents, and dealing with covid /quarantine (like everyone else in the world at that time). I was in a fragile emotional state and the combination of those events were the perfect storm that led me to experience a severe panic attack that triggered bad ibs symptoms in a public setting which gave me toilet anxiety and made me agoraphobic. I did not want to leave my house. Through exposure therapy, hypnotherapy, CBT, meditation, and being in a healing community, I went from fearful of leaving my house 2 years ago to going on my first cruise in 15 years last month. I still struggle with toilet anxiety, and anxiety in general, but it's more manageable now because I've built up some resiliency. My next goal is to get on plane and travel to Europe. For those that are struggling, don't lose hope. Take it one day at a time. Move forward, even in fear and even if it's just baby steps (a walk down the street, driving to the supermarket etc.) Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. You are more brave and capable than you give yourself credit for!
So many nights I've prayed not to wake up. I do have heart issues too. Pacemaker at 25, then ibs. Celiac, bone marrow syndrome, arfid, agoraphobic, ocd, depressed, panic attacks big time, traffic phobia, storm phobia, fibromyalgia and an autoimmune disease. It makes fixing or helping one thing complicated.
This is me! Mine started with dizziness and has left me housebound for 15 years. I’m scared to go out alone because the anxiety is so great that I feel Like I will faint and humiliate myself. Thanks for your story and input. Slow and steady but I’ll get there:)
I experienced my first panic attack a couple of years ago. I was commuting to work on the train when I suddenly felt something akin to an electric current coursing through mij body. My heart was racing, I experienced an enormous pressure on my chest. It felt like a heart attack. Medical examination showed no somatic disorders so I eventually ended up in mental health care. A psychiatrist diagnosed me with panic disorder and agoraphobia. Treatment started with ssri and therapy. Currently I'm doing better. I still suffer from chest pain and certain things are still complicated but overall I am optimistic. When I look back at it now I even feel gratitude, because it learned me to validate my emotions and the resulting bodily sensations
Lauren, again, thanks for everything that you put out. Agoraphobia is so isolating, and I remember the first time I came across your videos all those years ago, and how much of a difference it made to have someone express so well EXACTLY what I was experiencing. I'm 13 years into my personal journey, and you make an important point that it's a personal journey which is different for different people. I'd like to share that medication was a necessity for me, and may be for some of your community as well. 1.5 years into my journey I got a job that involved 45 minutes of bus ride each way. I could barely leave the house at that point, but decided to meet the challenge head on and try the extreme exposure therapy this work commute would force me to do. For the next 4 years I forced myself to bus to work, to support my family and with the hopes that I just needed to keep confronting my agoraphobia. Without medication, I spent 4 years twice a day creating a trauma pattern that re-enforced my agoraphobia and left my physical and mental health in crisis. It was only once I accepted to go to a doctor for medication that I was able to experience travel without excessive trauma, and start to build new positive patterns. I've continued to slowly, and under supervision, go on and off medications to help me push my boundaries and explore with my doctor what works best for me at different points in my journey. I think, Lauren, what I appreciate most in this video and wish to underline is how gentle you were with yourself getting back out in to the world. I was rigid and stubborn in my exposure therapy, and the more rigid I was the more agoraphobia was ready to punch me in the gut and send me sh!ting in a bush beside the bus route.
The following lines from the track “Hi Ren” really hit home for me about that rigidity: As I got older I realised that there were no real winners Or no real losers in physiological warfare But there were victims and there were students It wasn't David verses Goliath, it's was a pendulum eternally Swaying between the dark and the light, And the brighter the light shone, the darker the shadow it cast It was never a battle for me to win, it was an eternal dance, And like a dance, the more rigid I became the harder it got The more I cursed my clumsy footsteps the more i suffered And so I got older and I learned to relax, And I learned to soften, and that dance got easier It is this eternal waltz that separates human beings From angels, from demons, from gods And I must not forget, we must not forget, that we are human beings.
ahh John you are so lovely. And I value your words regarding medication and thank you for being so open about it all!! Medication is still a daily part of my life and I'm grateful that it's been apart of my journey. It's funny that you speak of being so rigid, because from the way you've spoken in your comments over the years, you come across as one of the most gentle souls!
Yes, thank you for saying this. I’ve been struggling for years and want my life back. Medication is absolutely necessary for me as well bc what would happen is, I would confront a fear and then when I’d confront it again, it was like the first time.. on a feeling level, I learned nothing bc the fear was so strong and so engrained. I just couldn’t get past it without help.
Tysm for this video. Im at breaking point in my life, i have suffer in 9 years now, got better in some stuff, but im not living my life. This gave me hope and im happy for you. Ty ❤
Sending you so much love. Breaking point can sometimes be the best thing...I think that's when we find a new sense of resolve that we didn't realise was there before. You've got this ❤️
I read the "just go out when youre sick of it" And the "float through it" Books. I also completely relate to not caring if i die, its the humiliation and crazy fear. My biggest issues are using the tube because my toilet anxiety has led to fear of being stuck in a tunnel, and travel eg in a coach where theres no toilet. Ive considered learning to drive but in a major city it doesn't appeal to me! Its interesting you mention having your child with you helped dilute your focus as i have the same with my dog
I completely understand this, I've considered learning to drive .. then that brings up more anxiety, because ill be stuck in a car not knowing a quick exit, ect. It's frustrating and a vicious circle xx
Yes - the thought of utter humiliation seems to trump everything for me! And I hear you on the travel/coach thing, too. Doggos are the best! Who is your little floof?
Thank you for this video, genuinely. I was diagnosed eith GAD and panic disorder as a teenager. Eventually the SSRI meds led to benzos. 3 years ago i stopped taking benzos and i developed Benzodiazapine Induced Neurological Dysorder (BIND). I've worked through it myself, but accidentally developed agoraphobia in doing so. It started as a fear of driving and spread quick to every area of my life. It's a very loney path with a silver lining of learning to love yourself in a way never possible. Thank you again, your company was well recieved today 😊
This is so vaidating for someone else who is struggling with all the things youre talking about. Driving is a huge struggle for me, grocery stores are challenging and i too am fearful about medication. I take a medication now thats not a good logterm option so i feel like I'm just in a holding pattern. It's such a challenge to just do normal life. I hate when people ask, "how are you doing?" The answer is never positive but you get tired of saying that out loud. The temptation to lie and say "great" is so strong bc theres no clear process of how to get out of this place. Thankful to hear you are experiencing improvement ❤
I know what you mean about being in a holding pattern. I've felt that way sometimes, too. I remember I saw a doctor a few years back for a health issue and he asked what medication I was on. I told him, and in response to my antidepressant, he asked "why are you still taking that?". It was the first time I'd been asked that and it threw me a bit! But, I find that I focus these days more on moving towards things I want - places I want to go, things I want to achieve. It seems to help. I hope you're doing okay today ❤️
I loved your story. You are blessed that you got to try so many different exposure therapies and that they helped you! I totally understand having hostility when being invited somewhere when you don't want to go. I get that way too. I'm like why can't anyone understand why I'm not interested in going. I've been suffering from agoraphobia for years. Pray to Saint Jude for help with anxiety and agoraphobia he will help you. I did a 9 day novena and immediately put myself through exposure therapy. Now those places that used to scare me I now miss when I leave. Saint Jude is so caring and kind he'll never refuse to lend a helping hand!
18:11 that’s EXACTLY what ive been doing the past weeks. Ive been battling the same thing for 10 years now, but it absolutely went haywire after covid due to long periods of staying inside especially, although thats not the only reason (2013-2020 I basically was gaslighting myself that I was fine, going to school in constant discomfort and hiding my problems. Eventually my whole system just collapsed. Luckily nothing that cant be fixed, but damn I was close. It was a very traumatic time to say the least.) Aaanyway, Im currently able to ride my bike for roughly an hour on a good day, but it really depends on how I feel and where Im going. I live in an area with lots of fields, and there are paths I can take without meeting too many cars or people. Basically the more cars the worse the anxiety gets. Im working towards being able to go in a shop..theyre about 1.5 miles from where I live and I have to take my bike as I dont have a drivers license, so it’s especially hard because the ride there is at least 15 mind + many cars on the way there+ the shop itself+ the time it takes me to get back home. Ill try and drive in the car the next couple of weeks as well. Ive been putting it off as cars give me severe panic attacks (the trauma started with a car ride from 2013). I think ill try and do 5-10 mins and see how it goes. And bring lots of safety supplies as well …..
So a little update😊 Driving is going pretty well, I don’t freak out as quickly as I used to. There are actually times where I’m quite calm, I even drive to the supermarket from time to time! I’m currently on a bit of a setback, that’s why I’ve returned to this video. Trying to go out for small walks again until I feel more comfortable.
I am 57 years old man,, mine strarted when i was 12 in an instant. Still have it but learnt to live with it,, its better but i hate the sweating & red face of embarresment.
Living with IT,, is all about reversing Avoidn't behavior then slowly letting yourself become more comfortable step by step. There is no magical Cure, just keep your chin up.
I’ve struggeled with this since I was 10. I’m 23 and can count on 1 hand the amount of times I’ve slept away from the house. I’ve missed out on travel, college, and work opportunities. I don’t have friends anymore. After so many years of living a shell I honestly don’t know what my next steps will look like.
I hope this year triggers something in me been fully stuck in my house since I was 14 I’m now 22 I’m also at the point where mentally I’m struggling to continue this life but I hope this year I can make progress I don’t want to live like this anymore
Are you able to get any professional help? Have you tried these telemedicine visits via Zoom - you don't even have to leave your house to see someone who can help you? Best wishes and prayerful thoughts your way...
I had this 40 years ago and than I developed it again in July 2023. I can get out sometimes but I can't visit during Christmas for meals. I can't get to my doctor, chiropractor and dentist. Appointments are more difficult because it's a set time. My counsellor said trauma was why I have this. There is no quick fix.
I feel like you’ve just read my story word for word! I started getting agoraphobia symptoms after lockdown and I became housebound last year. It started getting better for me with walks, going further as soon as I felt more comfortable. It’s been 9ish months and I can now drive around my town (mostly), I’ve been to the gym, went shopping the other day, things I could only have dreamed of a few months ago. Some stuff is still a no go and it’s such a longgg process but thank you for giving me some hope that it is possible to get back to normal. Also a hugeeee well done to you, it’s so much harder than people will know.
I'm struggling with depression and agoraphobia. Even going to toilet or taking a bath scares me, just few steps outside our home my heart starts to pound faster, my vision would be blurry and starting to catch my breath. My body feels so weak that i couldn't feel the floor, i feel like flying. I just survived everyday but not living with it. People makes me scared to the point that it choking me... I feel caved. I couldn't focus to anything. I always look forward going to bed because that's where i feel the comfort. My heart hurts so bad, but if you ask me why... I don't know. I'm 20 years old, i couldn't tell my parents because we're poor and unable to go to seek help from professionals. I don't want to tell them coz maybe they'll say that its just my imagination. I don't know what to do. Please. Help me.
I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. Dealing with agoraphobia and depression can feel so isolating and overwhelming, and I hear you saying that you're unable to tell your parents or get professional help..however - the most important thing is that you are able to talk about what you're going through. These things have a way of festering when we keep them inside. I'm not sure where you are located, but there are lots of free online or telephone support services that can help - you shouldn't have to go through this alone. I implore you to seek any free or low cost services that are available in your area, as they will also be able to point you towards other resources that may be able to assist. The other thing to know is that you are not alone, and you will not feel this way forever. I know things are very hard right now, at this moment, and please offer yourself lots of love and compassion as you navigate your way through. Mental health is sometimes a tricky balancing act along with physical health and it takes time and patience and courage to get through. Its wonderful that you're already reaching out here - you've already taken one big step..now it's time for a few more. ❤️
Morning, @vanessacorsiga... I hope you've seen and read Lauren Rose's response to your comment. What has helped me the most is being able to "See" a therapist via "Zoom," it's called telemedicine - without having to leave my home. I'm still struggling as you are just to leave my house and to ride in a car. My prayerful thoughts your way...oh, and for sure - you are not alone!
@@LaurenRose. Good response, Lauren. Her symptoms of a panic attack are almost exactly like mine. Yours, too. I have struggled with severe anxiety/panic disorder for so many years. I have had several instances of being completely unable to leave my home, "Housebound" for years at a time. I have lost out on so much of life. Only recently I have found some help via telemedicine, where I can see a therapist and not have to leave home. It's been a Godsend. I'm struggling now just to be able to leave my safe home and ride in a car. I know, this all sounds so crazy. Without this blessing of telemedicine via my smartphone or computer, I would simply lapse into another cycle of who knows how many years of being completely housebound? I hope these others here that have commented will read your responses. Thank you for your openness - your symptoms were so much like my own. I too - didn't have a clue what was happening to me! At one point, I thought I was going "Crazy" because I had smoked pot. You are proof that those of us still in the midst of these disorders can get better, can come back to the wonderful land of the living! Thanks, Lauren...
THE MOST RELATABLE VIDEO EVER!!! I challenged the thought once and it resulted in my shitting my pants in front of everyone at Tullimarine Melbourne international. Diahreea in my jeans. 😅😅 I've listened to A LOT of videos about agoraphobia, panic disorder and emetophobia and this by far has been the best video yet. Thank you! Love from Queenstown, New Zealand
Lol yes Stephanie...I hear you! Sometimes diarrhoea does indeed happen. But I can also tell you I know more people who've shit their pants than not 🤣 A curse of being a human with a digestive system (but also a blessing that we are able to digest and ..release 🙂, really, isn't it?!) I'm so glad you related to this video. Also, can I please come and live with you in Queenstown?!?!?! Oh my gosh, most BEAUTIFUL CITY EVER.
I've had this condition since 1998. I only get out of my. house once a week and that is to go to my local grocery store. I fill my car up with fuel twice a year. I would be more happy if I only got out once every two weeks. I don't mind having this condition anymore, but I'm almost 70 years old and my life is one of retirement. I work on my paintings and drawings. I'll keep you all in my prayers, because I know what you all are feeling. God be with us all!
Just watched this video and this is exactly what I’m going through. I’m always trying to work out what’s happening with my body and googling symptoms and health conditions even though the doctor has told me numerous times all health results are fine. I can actually leave the house but I feel like I’m fighting with myself to do it. And walking away from the house is really hard because I know at some point I start feeling like I’m gonna collapse with like vertigo type feeling and can’t get back home quick enough. But I also know the longer I stay in house the harder it becomes. Absolute nightmare it is but I can just about convince myself it’s not dangerous even tho the physical take over and make you feel it’s is dangerous. Anyone that can break from this or cope is a strong amazing individual.
Thank you for this video. You are very brave. Had agoraphobia for nearly 20 years. Housebound for a long time. Decided one day to just try and go for a walk. Literally got 100 metres panicked and returned to my "safe place". Tried again next day got a little bit further. My thought process started to be the further I went the further away my "safe place" was so created more "safe places" ie the local shop, the local pub, my friends house. Eventually I could walk for a long time knowing If I had a panic attack I was never far away from 1 of my 20 "safe places". I'm not cured yet but I am no longer house bound. I can get on public transport. I can go for a long walk. I can happily commute to work. Videos like this are so important because the hardest part of agoraphobia is feeling that you are weak, alone and no one will ever understand. You have given a lot of people hope. Thank you
Thank you for validating small steps! I feel like it's either people never recovering at all or others saying we should just "face it all" with no balance
You're doing so well!! And yes, you are most certainly not alone - I'm sure that there are many who would benefit from hearing your story, too. Sometimes we need to see how it can work through others before we are brave enough to try it ourselves.
I noticed that quite a few people only became like this during the pandemic. That is when it started for me! I can't even go out alone anymore, and if I do force myself out with somebody, I have panic attacks, hyperventilate, and want to go home 😢 I wish I had a somebody to talk to who can understand it!
Thank you for this video. I’m currently struggling with a bout of bad agoraphobia. I just started daily walks, I’m hoping I can come around soon and be able to start living my life again.
Hi Lauren! I miss you!! I’m not on Instagram but started a UA-cam channel. Still so blessed by your content. I had a few days where I felt like I couldn’t leave my house recently. I started getting mad at myself, accusing myself of being agoraphobic. With my therapist we reframed what I was going through and realized I needed rest and recovery, and not to accuse or put myself down. It was great to be in a place where I could be gentle with myself, let myself recharge and be ready to walk out the front door again. 💗👏🏻 Thanks for sharing, you’re amazing.
The packing all the things is something I really relate too. When I started realizing that I was able to leave without checking my bag for the snacks, water, medications, etc I realized I was changing too. Also, it’s amazing how our kids can challenge and change us. I’m in recovery 100% thanks to my kids.
Hello gorgeous! I'm thrilled to see you have a UA-cam channel!! And I am so happy to hear about the gentle compassion towards yourself, too. And I admit - I do the same thing often - swing between fury at myself (which is always mostly just fear in disguise, for me) and then that realisation of 'oh, I'm just going through a hard time and need to give myself a little more love and space'. I'm sure I'll do that dance for a long time to come, but I'm also pretty sure that's part of being human, hey!
I developed agoraphobia after a traumatic undiagnosed manic episode that was horrific and it happened while i traveled. Its ruined my dreams of traveling but its been 5 years and i still feel too scared
I'm sorry you went through that ❤️ Keep going. Keep trying. It's okay to feel scared - you can take that fear along with you, and you'll find that it will ease the further you go.
I’m a therapist and I feel so much shame that I have developed agoraphobia and can’t break out of it, despite knowing everything I need to do to get better.
Guess what? I'm a therapist and I've also developed it. It's always been anxiety and need for isolation at times, but the past few years it's turned to full on diagnosable. Please relinquish the shame because I believe this is progressive and can sneak up on you.
Please remember that you are a human first and foremost - there should be no shame for experiencing one of the most basic human emotions (fear)! Sometimes the knowledge of what to do doesn't necessarily help...But in a way, that's a really wonderful thing. Because you WILL find a way through, and it will be a pathway that you carve through feeling and creativity and experience, and I think that will be so much more valuable to you as a human, and as a therapist.
I wish I had seen this 20+ years ago. I have been having panic attacks since the mid 90's, I am now 61 and my life has basically been ruled by them for around 30 years. I have learnt to cope, by gearing myself up when I need to go out, taking Imodium to make sure that I have no embarrassing accidents, not eating just taking sips of water. Sadly I now have arthritis which has made me more housebound than I was. I cried when I saw this vid because you suffered all the symptoms I do, and I have never met or talked to anyone who understood my type of disorder. I am so glad you are living life to the full. Thank you for making this, I am sure many people have found it helpful.
Oh, thank you for watching and for such a genuine comment. There are so many people I've met over the years who have dealt with these exact same thoughts and symptoms - and they are always the nicest folk. You are not alone ❤️
OMG, best video ever! It's the exact description of what i'm dealing with too! So good to hear you are living full on again! I should show this video to my psychologist to describe how i am feeling.
You just described exactly how I've been feeling the past month. It seems like every few years my agoraphobia comes back and I have to start all over to try and overcome it again. I've been taking baby steps to get out and today took the leap and went out to lunch with my parents even though I was afraid to. I feel better knowing nothing bad happened besides a bit of uneasiness. Thank you for sharing your story ❤️ It's so hard to go through but so helpful to not feel so alone and hear other people's journeys to get through it
I have struggled with it for over 30 years and it has never changed I go out and it shuts my body down going from been agoraphobia to doing normal things I don’t believe it once you have panic attacks you alllways have them a full stop no medication changes it
I’ve been like this since the start of pandemic in 2020, I’ve left my home a handful of times from then to now…the thing that stops me is I feel like I’m going to burst out in tears and I hate crying in front of people. I make it a couple houses up and then that feeling comes over me and I turn back around. I want to enjoy life again. I have hope, I hate feeling like a prisoner.
I wonder how many people have similar stories to yours. Lost in the obvious scientific part of the pandemic, and the horrible fact that it was politicized, is the mental health toll it has taken. It’s just not healthy to feel trapped, to feel confined, and for those of us who have dealt with anxiety through our lives, a pandemic is the last thing we needed. Yes, the pandemic is technically over but those other aspects remain. I for one understand how this horrible experience has taken, and is still taking, a toll on the sensitive among us. You’re not alone.
That's exactly when it all began for me too. June 2020, I suddenly got a panic attack. It progressed to panic disorder and agoraphobia. I feel like if we'd never had the pandemic, then I wouldn't be like this 😔
@DelusionalGemini I forced myself to finally go out today, and it resulted in me having one of the worst panic attacks of my life. I had to call an ambulance, and I felt so stupid once I'd calmed down and they said that I was fine. Now I'm stuck in panic mode, and I don't want to go out anymore again because of the fear. So it continues making my life a living hell 😭😭😭😭😭 How are you doing?
@@charlalar14 I went out last Saturday to an event I was a little buzzed so I think that’s why I was able to control my anxiety. Other than that I haven’t been anywhere since. I do have an appointment on the 20th for medication that I’m terrified to take but I’m gonna try are you on any type of medication for it ? if so what..
@atypicalpaul I hope your doing okay, Paul. You've got a lot of things happening, so many challenges. Are you doing any therapy aside from the meds? Klonapin is a good one for panic attacks. It helped me a great deal for a long time. I hope this finds you well, take care and thanks for sharing here...
Thank you so much.. My agoraphobia started when i was 22 as well! Im 25 now and still havent left the house.. Im so hard on myself because I felt like I wasted precious years but it hurts just so bad.. I really want to get better but I'm so scared of what my body will do. I dont want to go somewhere fun and struggle with the pain of overstimulating surroundings and panic attacks 😢 I want to breathe..
I have agoraphobia due to a few years ago getting hypoglycemia while I was driving and almost passing out while driving on the highway. It’s been 3 years for me. I haven’t seen my family in years. They live 1000 miles away. I’m house bound. For me, it’s partially mental. Mental in the sense where I’m asking the What Ifs…….. like what if I black out, go into shock, and die. Or what if I have to be hospitalized. The root of my fear is losing control. Being physically active makes me feel weak. I can barely even stand some days. Other days, I do 4000-5000 steps doing things like cleaning. Ocasionally I have done things like go out to a restaurant, go to the dentist, take my pets to the hospital for an emergency… but I can only be out for like an hour before I start to lose it. I’m 26 years old… what’s crazy is only like 5-6 years ago I was climbing mountains and going on 30-40 mile multi-day hikes in the wilderness. Thinking about being in those situations now gives me the cold sweaty feeling. I wonder a lot if I’m going to be like this forever. I want to build good habits and maybe try walks, but I just feel so damn tired all the time.
@@bekamoreno I’m getting better. I started new medication today called Buspirone. It’s going okay. Was scared to take it, but honestly not many side effects other than an upset stomach. But hey, I already had that from my anxiety :-) lol.
This has been sooooo helpful! I have developed agoraphobia after being ill in a foreign country (where I moved to with so much excitement and enthusiasm almost two years ago), for three months. I got so used to hiding and not interacting with people except for essentials. I have to just get out and see my world again, and stop searching for fix its, which I have been obsessively doing. Thank you!
This is a really beautifull testimony. What i relate to most is how the anxeity is coupled with the real fear that something might happen. For you, as you said it was toilet anxiety, which sounds horrible to deal with, for me its the fear that i might have an episode of psycosis as i've had one before i became agrophobic. I have gone down a few paths trying to fix this, i'm currently doing self guided EMDR in a hope that I can remedy the trauma thus taking away the fear from the possibility that it might happen. As for exposure therapy I pretty much have already been doing exactly what you said in this video, which i find quite validating so thank you for that. I have recently gone back to work in my office which is 6 miles away from my house, I do half days and i stay there for 3 hours. Some days are not too bad. Some days are really hard, the journey there is always hard, my palms sweat and my heart starts to pound. I just hope and pray I can keep my strength up and beat this thing.
I think I also have agoraphobia-panic-anxiety attacks because I really get to have the attacks, meaning, out of breath, hyperventilating and all. I can go out of the house if it’s our familial house we’re referring to, i can walk up to the market and convenience store but when I stay at our couple’s house which is farther from my comfort zone, i could not even go to the corner lot alone unless I have someone with me who knows my condition. I resigned from work because Ive become anti social in a way. I could not commute for years already and could not go out far away from home alone. I could not drive anymore along the highways because I get scared when it’s traffic, i begin to feel suffocated and claustrophobic. Now we’re scheduled to travel far but im really really scared to go even if i’d be with someone who knows my condition. I avoid a lot of situations that I feel so unsafe. I think im partially agoraphobic and at the same time have stress related panic something. I hope I could also help myself because I also feel alone and helpless. Plus the fact i have never tried riding an airplane because im scared that i might have attacks and the plane could not land to help me. 😢
Just want to say thank you for sharing this, I've been stuck in my house since I was 19 and I'm 26 now only been round the block once but I'm going to do what you said I did do the going out trying to go one house at a time and it worked I was getting up to like 5-6 houses but everytime I have a bad day I slowly stop doing it and fall back to not leaving for months but I'm going to try to go out on my front everyday and just stick to it, you gave me hope thank you
It’s been 25-30 years for me. I get to work, and get out, but I don’t go further than 3-4 miles most days, and 12-15 two or three times a week. But I really want to drive 6-8 hours so I can hike in the mountains and see people in my old home town. I’m definitely gonna try to say yes more, but I’ve basically been on the same hamster wheel looking for a cure for years (my latest plan was ketamine therapy even though I’ve never done any drugs, drank a beer, etc.).
This is literally the same thing I’m going through. I’ve tried many medications I tried CBT none of which helped. The only thing that helps along with my current Ssri is benzos and they’re so addictive so I need to be careful with them. It’s a vicious circle. I’m going to try exposure therapy. It’s so hard to start just thinking about having panic attacks 😩 I need to do it though! You’re an inspiration
@yahyabullit2919 I heard about this. Is it really true? I'm agoraphobic due to severe panic attacks stopping me from wanting to be outside. Does magnesium really work?
I totally understand how you feel when ppl ask you to go places. I did the same thing recently when another mom invited us to a museum 40 mins away. This ptsd is hard. I want some medication but I can never get past day 4.
I’m 14 and every time I’m in a car or away from home, I feel nauseous and dizzy, feeling like I’m fainting (I’ve never fainted) and I just can’t leave my house without coming home quickly or having panic attacks. I need help but I don’t know how to fix it :(
I’ve developed this since Covid or should I say it’s gotten worse I’m in freeze mode, I’m on Duloxatine for social anxiety as well . My self esteem is very low and this adds to it . I’m thinking of going on a group holiday as o don’t have any friends left unfortunately.
How do you get past that feeling like youre qhite knuckling every exposure therapy? Im SO relieved when its over and it honestly still feels lile punishment.
It took time for sure, but I think a lot of it was to do with the ways I did exposure. For example, an exposure for me was something like agreeing to attend a friends wedding, or going to a baby shower, or (eventually) getting on a plane. So although there was so many periods in the beginning where I was pushing to get through, I would have that moment at the end where it was like Oh my god, I'm here, I'm out, I'm so happy that I've achieved this! And I guess that feeling of achievement became something I chased, and something I held onto when things got hard. And then over time, I became more willing to slow myself down during the exposures so it wasn't just a case of getting from point A to point B as quickly as possible to reach that sense of 'achievement', it was more like an exploration of the journey between. The achievement then became the willingness to feel panicked and not freak out about it. I hope that makes sense!! Can you be a bit more creative about your exposures somehow? Like instead of the exposure being the goal, make the goal something beyond that?
I am currently suffering from agoraphobia. I also live in NYC. I was recently assaulted in front of my residence. last week, while crossing the street I came literal inches from being killed by a driver that was texting. I have also been attacked in and in front my residence. This morning a very aggressive prevented me from making a purchase. I am not a felon, yet my mental illness history prohibits an effective self defense solution. What could possibly go wrong with all of the above??????
I just want to say a huge thank you for making this video. Although I’m not completely homebound, I cannot get on public transport without panic attacks and the thoughts of how I will be so anxious and scarred that I won’t be able to get the return journey. This has now affected me everytime I drive myself anywhere. I have also read DARE and as you say the motivation you get from books is amazing. I just wanted to ask though what do you think is different between what DARE suggests you do vs what you did. You still just put yourself out there and made yourself experience the anxiety and panic. I find if I expose myself on days I don’t feel like it and have a super hard time, I actually make things worse and trigger more anxiety. I’ve noticed this when I’ve really made an extreme jump in with exposure therapy. However if I don’t do it, I feel like a failure and that I’m making things worse because I gave into the anxiety so it seems like a loose loose for me. On those harder days where you decided to not do the difficult things were you just kind to yourself and say there’s always tomorrow, today just isn’t a great day? All the books and therapy suggest this isn’t the best way but sometimes it’s just too much, I force it, then for a week or so my anxiety is way worse from forcing through the panic! I really appreciate this video and your insights and I’m glad you are much better!!! 🫶
I would give a kidney without anesthetic to be able to travel in a CAR by myself and take my dog to the local shopping centre which is 7 mins drive away. It’s been more than 11 years and I still can’t do it
I hear a lot of passion, and a lot of drive in your words. No idea what time it is where you are, but can you make a step towards this right now?? I am here for you. I know there is so much in you that feels afraid, but there is obviously so much in you that knows exactly what you want and understands that there will be some pain involved in getting there. It's ok to feel the discomfort. It's ok to feel scared. It's ok to get in the car and have your hands shake and your breath catch in your chest. You look over at your doggo and you say, Lets try this, you and me. You just stay open to feeling the worst of it. I promise you, the frustration of WANTING to do it and not doing it feels 100x worse than the actual process of doing it.
@@LaurenRose. Awww Lauren 😭😭 you have no idea what these words mean to me. I live in Melbourne, Australia. I also have a medical procedure coming up in less than 2 weeks. I am petrified of just getting there eventhough my parents are taking me. This is not a life
For me, every time I leave my house, I feel like I can't breathe. My breathing becomes shallow and it feels like I'm suffocating. This then leads to severe panic attacks. Now I don't go out at all. I tried to finally leave the house last week, but I got in such a bad state. My therapist (phone only), says to do exposure therapy, but how can I when my body goes crazy from just going a few steps outside? In my head I know that I'm safe and healthy (hospital checks confirmed this before I stopped going out), but my body has so many symptoms that it feels like death is incoming every time. I don't know how I will ever go outside again. This is no life, this is torture. Even at my breaking point where I've gotten so angry about it, I still can't get past the fear of going out there. I wish there was someone to talk to. Everyone has grown tired now and no longer cares because they think I'm not helping myself anyway, they don't understand how terrified and broken I feel. I'm truly at a loss.
Hey I am in the same boat and I'll tell you some very helpful things that's got me on the recovery bus. I recently learned that I had somatic OCD causing me to constantly focus on my breathing or really any body sensation. That was the first step. The next was to start learning as much as I could about agoraphobia ocd and panic attacks. I'd suggest the anxious truth. He's been a huge stepping stone when it came to learning more about the mindset you have. I'd also like to look at something more new to me was willingness. When it came to exposure I kept trying to get myself into a 100 out of 100. I was never willing to do that and when I did I'd white nuckle the entire thing making the learning less efficient if at all. There are 2 different types of exposure therapy and I found inhibitory exposures mixed with habitation to be the best for me. With the inhibitory learning I aim to get about a 50 or 60 on my anxiety. Not a panic attack but enough to cause some fear. I then let it come down naturally without doing any rituals to feel better (safe spaces ice packs distraction etc) and I get bored with the feeling. Once you get bored go about your day. And do that a few times a day. Not enough to burn you out. The trick is you aren't trying to make these feelings and thoughts go away, you are learning how to sit with these feelings and thoughts and keep going.
I get this but the worst part is feeling sick and throat went funny like i was going to gag and be sick with trembling if anyone has any tips on how to control that when i leave my house and get in a car going places and getting on a bus, its worse sitting on the bus than getting in my mums car.
What medication are you taking currently? Thank you for the video , very helpful! I’m on sertraline and beta blockers, also something for IBS as the dr thinks it’s anxiety + IBS.. I think they help but not always.. awaiting therapy.. oh God I’d love all of us suffering of this to have a normal life 😢 I feel like I cannot even imagine a normal life anymore for myself..
I have urge and stress incontinence, and faecal leakage.I do pelvic floor exercises,wear pads and prescribed lomperimide.I feel there is not much hope.😢
Wow. The alien feeling of seeing other people have fun. Yes. I oscillate between extremes. I face terror and go to events and have a blast. But then I wake up the next morning and feel frozen again. Every day is a battle beyond words. I’m fucking tired.
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My advice based on improvements I’ve experienced so far… stop thinking, start doing.
Seriously. Thinking is not the solution to this problem. I don’t really believe this is an “illness” so to speak, I think it’s more like a false connection in the mind. It’s a habit of the brain and body that is maladaptive.
You’re not SICK. Your body has just learnt a response that isn’t helpful.
You have to expose yourself and not stop. No excuses. No “I’m too tired”. It’s hard… but just DO. Don’t think.
You NEED the proof, then really focus on the positives of what you’ve achieved.
You can do it. Keep telling yourself. You can do it.
Again.
You can do it.
Going to have to pin this comment. And I have to say, I agree with your perspective on this not being so much an illness but a (learned) imbalance in response and habitual behaviour. Although this seems to be a perspective that causes a lot of 'inflammation', shall we say, among many people, and I get it. I think it can become an illness in the sense that we deprive ourselves of what we need to thrive as humans - social connection, proper exposure to sunlight and nature, - as well as engaging in a perpetuation of the stress response and a decrease in self-belief and personal empowerment. But the constant searching for a 'cure' to an illness that doesn't technically exist is what seems to keep us locked in this cycle of trying to fight, force and fix our way into balance. Our bodies are always seeking balance, but the directives from our mind tend to throw that off. I think this is why the 'doing' tends to help more than the talking or the thinking...because when we DO, our body is taking charge, and thus, moving towards balance in a way that we can physically FEEL.
i know saying you're not sick is supposed to be motivational and helpful , i just wanna add from my perspective , for my case it makes me depressed to hear that. all growing up i was told im not sick and that it's my fault because its my brain. i to embarrassed to get help because no one take me serious or try to understand. and i was depressed alot growing up to , so hearing im not sick when anxiety was at a point of starting to be an issue, just made me want to isolate even more and ignore every issue. i like you're advice but i 100% believe anxiety disorders can be a real sickness/ illness . im 27 and still stuck in this loop sadly. no job not much life. thankfully i do know things are going to change one day i just really need support but with this illness and being alone for many years, its actually really hard to get the help i need but i know its possible . the worst symptom for me is sweating, i don't get pee urges, but i do get sweat attacks and i hate it so much because you cant hide it. if it were not for that, i think people would see me as 100% normal on the outside and i probably would be more comfortable around others even under an attack , but boi let me tell you how much it suck, to have an attack when your stuck in a group, and sitting down, face to face, and all a sudden i be looking like i went for a run. in the past i couldn't even wipe the sweat i was paralyzed, thankfully now , i wipe . but its so difficult living with this illness. i do feel alot better now , being older and kinda understanding whats going on. i think we can all get some what better at least , just need the support and no hate towards you're comment btw :) you're advice is good for doing and not thinking and not making excuses.
@@KatouMiwa I really do feel you, but if the sweating is a response to the anxiety you feel… you need to get used to it. Because you will sweat less and less as you reduce your stress response to the situation.
So work out what exactly is the trigger for you. Is it being outside? Is it talking to people? And start doing it. Face the fear. Embrace the sweat.
It is the avoidance of our symptoms and our response to fear that actually turns anxiety into an illness… not the anxiety itself.
@@quendelfHow much am I supposed to embrace it? I can't seem to get accustomed to anxiety, I can talk to people but most of the time I'm quiet, it's been years in the working environment and I can only get better through meditation and medication
@@KatouMiwa Mental illness is a disease that's why a lot people commit suicide! Panic attacks and agoraphobia is very much a sickness! It also can be in a person's DNA. The brain thoughts were not an option for her. I would to love to see a follow up to see if she is mentally balanced.
In case someone finds this looking for help, one of the major shifts that helped me breakdown agoraphobia was changing my mindset to give as much compassion to myself when I was struggling as I would give my best friend. Once I stopped judging myself for not fitting into this idea of what normal was and started welcoming the discomfort as I reminded myself that these are all just sensations, windows of peace started opening up. Like Lauren, I did everything external to try to “fix” me. It wasn’t shifting my life. We are feeling beings who learned to think, not thinking beings who learned to feel. Some things you can’t think your way out of. Lauren, you give great examples of how to act your way into a better headspace. Thank you for your content!
Yes! Thank you Rachel. This is very valuable and I think you worded it beautifully - "fitting into this idea of what normal was" is exactly the way I look at it (but forever have to remind myself 😂)
There are accompnying joint pains, back pains, feeling hot..
This is profound, I'll try to remember this during my crippling anxiety and agoraphobic depression ❤
Wow, this made me cry. It’s been 4 years for me now and I’m at my lowest point, feeling insane part. This made me feel very hopeful. Today I’m struggling just to go down to the laundry room in my apartment complex, I haven’t done laundry in a month or so because it gives me so much anxiety being down there. I haven’t showered in months because I’m scared I’ll fall and die while I’m in there. I sit in my spot on my bed all day, everyday. I never used to be like this, it just slowly built up to where I’m at. This motivated me to get up and at least do my laundry.❤️
@@davestelling Thank you so much for what you said, that definitely makes me feel better, I appreciate it. I’ve been trying to find a new therapist because the one I had was exposure therapy based and I don’t know why exactly but our sessions ended after three years. I believe it’s because I wasn’t doing enough exposures on my own so she didn’t know what to do with me anymore? I don’t know, anyway, so for the last year I’ve been trying on my own, books and videos mostly but I do think I need a therapist again, just for the support and accountability at least.
Thank you for reaching out.
@@heatherrochellelux6935embrace the suck. Now that nothing can happen to you. When you feel bad and scared stand your ground and let it pass. Baby steps but don’t retreat. It’s like walking against heavy wind. 💨 slowly keep moving forward and don’t look back. God bless you. Mass as helped me a lot.
Small steps!!! Maybe laundry turns into something else. Maybe that something else turns into a little walk outside. Maybe that little walk turns into a visit somewhere close by. It’s all a work in progress, always, and that’s ok! I’m so sorry to hear you have been feeling at your lowest - it’s awful for anyone to be feeling that way. Just remember that sometimes it takes those “lowest” moments before we rise up again. Little by little. Keep me posted on how you go - I’m here for you!
I hope you are ok I’m here if you need someone to talk to. I’ve been suffering since 4 years old and I’m now 43
@@SapphireSage964 I’m doing okay 💜💜💜
I just started back with my old therapist about 3 weeks ago. It’s definitely been overwhelming but I’m feeling much more hopeful? I’ve had some good days in there where I was able to do some bigger exposures like going into a store and going for a walk:) So far I haven’t done anything alone but I’m working up to that hopefully.💜
I’m sorry that you suffer with this as well, it’s really awful! I hope you are doing good, it’s tough for sure💜💜💜💜💜
I have struggled with agoraphobia for many years. I have slowly been doing things and it’s been amazing. I went on a hot air balloon ride recently and it was the best! I’m flying for the first time in over 20 years in 8 days and I’m starting to feel really afraid, but I want to travel more than anything.
Hey, that's amazing!!!! How did you go?
@@LaurenRose. It went really well!! I was never so happy. Going on a real trip was amazing. I have already booked another flight to visit a friend who has wanted me to come see her for years. I’m finally living!!
@@rosierose5229I haven't flown in 5 years due to my agoraphobia and trauma. It feels impossible but I want to see my husband's country
Omg, you are a warrior! Going on a hot air balloon that's literally one of the most dangerous things many people can conceive.
@@rosierose5229Hello! Could you give some tips, how did you do it? Thank you in advance!
Ive got agoraphobia and once i actually recovered for years from it and then 5 years later it came back. It is all about exposure plus deep acceptance
I remember the time I went to the beach for the first time after I started having horrible debilitating panic attacks, I literally cried watching the sea because I had convinced myself that I would never be able to do so again. I feel like exposure therapy is probably the best way to treat the problem! Also, supplements such as magnesium glycinate and vitamin D are super important (specially if you have a deficiency which is very probable since you don’t get any sunlight for months or years being trapped inside your house) I still have a long way to go since I still have attacks during traffic or dentists for example, but I feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel!
a year ago my agoraphobia started with a stomach flu!! recently i’ve developed it again and i feel like nobody fully understands me and it’s so nice to know that im not alone, i went on my first walk today and also to a store!! still not feeling super great but i don’t want this to ruin my life anymore. i hope everyone else fighting with this finds something that helps them even a little bit :)
I believe our gut and brain connection can cause this, as mine set in after months with an intestinal parasite infection. Crazy! Home bound for three months and NOT normal for me.
oh my god mine started with a stomach flu too, how have you recovered? Im still struggling with going out etc on trains and going to the city
@@lemonlennonlenin3970 my recovery has been very up and down but mostly it’s just learning to be okay with being uncomfortable! and honestly changing to a more positive mindset has really helped :) (and adult diapers as a safety net when i go out lol)
Even knowing that exposure therapy is what I need to do, I just can't seem to do it. I find myself not wanting to do anything anymore, just sitting here, waiting till I can eat or go back to bed. Sometimes I get the drive for things, working out, learning a new language, writing, drawing, exc, but that feeling goes away after a couple days and I'm back to doing nothing. It's almost as if I'm scared if I got better, I still wouldn't do anything. I'm at my end with this disorder, just wasting away. I've gained 100 pounds and now am obese and my body is basically deteriorating. Making it even more difficult to do anything because now I've added to agoraphobia.
Thank you for sharing yourself in this video though, it gives me a small amount of hope. I've overshared in this comment but maybe you'll appreciate the vent.
I think it's really important (and helpful) to remember that motivation will always ebb and flow. And oftentimes, it's more of a snowball effect - action causes motivation, not the other way around. So whether you have the drive or not - the action is important. I hear what you're saying with "I just can't seem to do it"...boy, do I hear that!! That's me, so often, with a myriad of other things. What helps me the most is to remind myself that humans are creatures of habit more than anything else, and what I always do is what I will continue to always do. So again - the action is the most important part. Even if I don't want to, even if I didn't do it the day before or the week before or the month before, even if half of me says 'whats the point?', even if I do it an hour later than I said I was going to.
As long as you are alive and breathing, it is quite literally never too late to take action in some way.
Yeah in a way you have to "play life" or "be an actor" with your life. Because the motivation to do anything or to even leave the house isn't there, you have to pretend to care about things. I'll get myself to yoga, as if I care. I'll get the groceries, as if I care. I'll walk on the shoreline, as if I care. I don't care, I don't care, and then I find myself being slightly surprised that I sort of care.
You ever get the sense people on social media are pretending all of their life? Like, is the acai bowl something that they're that grateful for? It's sort of like that, except you're actually tricking yourself into caring. It's a bizarre feeling, but I often notice my desire to be in bed is greater than anything, and I have to actively work against it through acting.
@yakobi How are you today...did you take action ?
My agoraphobia started in 2020, I blame being back at home due to covid. I worked really hard that year and a half and started getting better. Got married, then pregnant soon after; in my third trimester I started getting really anxious and had my first panick attack after 3 years the agoraphobia came back and I'm trying to remember what helped me the first time; it's hard dealing with postportum and now this again but watching your video definitely makes me optimistic about the future because I don't want to waste time with my daughter.
It's like I'm seeing myself 😢 , it's gives me hope that I can keep pushing through this, and finally heal from it, toilet anxiety is so real and can be so awful to live with. But it's people like yourself that help beyond words, thank you so sharing and for being you xx
We're all with you, Rachael ❤️
Thank you for the videos 🩷 I went from being housebound two years ago to now doing food delivering all day, every day and going to huge arenas to see concerts. I’m still recovering, but it’s absolutely doable. You’re an inspiration and help so many people!
This is so wonderful! I'm bloody stoked for you!
Thank you for sharing your story!
I'm myself fighting against agoraphobia since 1 year, even if it comes to me as a "yo-yo" effect, coming and getting away at any given moment. I make myself strong and I try always to put myself in outdoor situations, and most importantly, to put the physical pains under control (as you have said too, they never are "fully real", so no, we are not going to faint or lose control etc 🙂). In some moments I manage to overcome the fear, in some others I need to walk back home, but only with trying and doing we will fight this.
A huge hug to everyone in the same situation, we will do this, it is really just a phase ;)
I think I always struggled with this, but the pandemic has solidified it for me. I make excuses not to go somewhere and I have to mentally rehearse before I do anything. I envision the parking lot, the traffic, the people pushing their carts, etc. It's taken years, but I've finally connected the dots as to why I feel strange and even dumber when I'm out and about. In the grocery store I can forget why I'm there. Now that I know what's wrong I can feel some relief. The trick is simply exposure. Every day get out and do one thing that you don't want to do and you train your body.
Every thing you said is literally word for word what I struggle with. Going to the store. The mailbox. My backyard sometimes. It’s horrible and I’m glad your better ❤
Thank you so much for having the courage to share your story!
I’ve been battling agoraphobia for almost 3 years now, I can leave the house but I just find it difficult to go further than a 1 kilometre radius. I’m also dealing with long covid and peri menopause so my hormones are all out of wack! I feel like hormones internal health, gut health plays a big part in why we could start having panic attacks that can lead to agoraphobia. Our gut is literally our second brain.
Exactly on same boat here..
This is probably the first video on UA-cam that describes exactly what I’m going through (except I deal with dizziness instead of diarrhea). I can relate especially when seeing friends and people on social media doing so many things and wondering, “how?!”
I'm glad you've found it helpful! And yes.....it always seemed so baffling to me that people could exist and do things so 'easily' when the smallest thing for me seemed so hard!
Same here 😒
Before I got dizzy and nauseous but started to hyperventilate, that’s the time i feel it’s worse than before. I experienced this when i was a child then got over with it then it came back and got over with it but now, im stuck.
Dude. The dizziness!! It’s crazy.
I watched your video and then instantly went for a local walk; it's been a while since I left the house. Thank you!
This is the best!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰
I can relate so much!!! I’ve suffered with health anxiety / agoraphobia for 4 years now. But looking back to how I used to be, I’ve come on so far!! My goal that my therapist asked, was to be able to fly to Greece from the UK to see my parents. In April 2024, I flew, by myself (and my daughter) to Greece and I made it! Every little win keeps you going and makes you realise that it is really just in your head. That little anxiety voice that used to be shouting at me, is now a little whisper 😁👍 wishing everyone struggling the best and keep going!!!
Are u taking meds?
Even thinking about flying scares me a lot. How did you achieve this?
I relate to every single thing you said in this video. 4 years ago I didn't think I'd still be here but I'm back at work full time and I have my first holiday booked in 8 years (not on a plane yet but I'm working on it). I actually am able to use my experiences on a daily basis to relate better to my patients and the students I work with 💪
Living with panic disorder and agoraphobia gives you a crazy sense of strength once you start recovering.❤
If I could love this many times over, I would!! I'm so happy for you, and so excited about your holiday!!!! You must keep me posted, please ❤️
How was the vacation?
Thank you for sharing this video. After over 2 years of living this way - following a traumatic event - I ended up like this in my 30s. Your video really spoke to me, you experienced everything I did and we have both taken the same route. I'm mid way through what I would call my 'recovery'. I regularly go outside for short bursts. I still struggle with being enclosed (theatre, in a meeting, events where I feel I can't leave) but I'm working on that in the same way - doing a little bit more of it when I feel able to and I do hypnotherapy every day (tape) for confidence building/relaxation. Slowly, slowly I'm getting there. This year I've booked events for my business which will mean I'm both out of the house for long periods and will not be able to run off. Fingers crossed 2024 will be a more normal year xx
I feel you! I hate when people find things that help and then try to charge others for it. Idk how Anyone who have truly experienced agoraphobia or panic attacks could charge someone for that information
I’m in the ‘breakdown’ stage rn and made me just ball my eyes out feeling recognised. So lovely and so happy you are where you are now. Gives me hope ❤
Thank you for sharing your story. Your videos have helped me throughout my healing process. Two years ago, I was going through a divorce, moving back with my parents, and dealing with covid /quarantine (like everyone else in the world at that time). I was in a fragile emotional state and the combination of those events were the perfect storm that led me to experience a severe panic attack that triggered bad ibs symptoms in a public setting which gave me toilet anxiety and made me agoraphobic. I did not want to leave my house. Through exposure therapy, hypnotherapy, CBT, meditation, and being in a healing community, I went from fearful of leaving my house 2 years ago to going on my first cruise in 15 years last month. I still struggle with toilet anxiety, and anxiety in general, but it's more manageable now because I've built up some resiliency. My next goal is to get on plane and travel to Europe. For those that are struggling, don't lose hope. Take it one day at a time. Move forward, even in fear and even if it's just baby steps (a walk down the street, driving to the supermarket etc.) Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. You are more brave and capable than you give yourself credit for!
So many nights I've prayed not to wake up.
I do have heart issues too. Pacemaker at 25, then ibs. Celiac, bone marrow syndrome, arfid, agoraphobic, ocd, depressed, panic attacks big time, traffic phobia, storm phobia, fibromyalgia and an autoimmune disease. It makes fixing or helping one thing complicated.
yup. basically me.
I’m praying that you are healed from ALL that hurts you💜 you deserve to feel good again and I believe you will
This is me! Mine started with dizziness and has left me housebound for 15 years. I’m scared to go out alone because the anxiety is so great that I feel Like I will faint and humiliate myself. Thanks for your story and input. Slow and steady but I’ll get there:)
I experienced my first panic attack a couple of years ago. I was commuting to work on the train when I suddenly felt something akin to an electric current coursing through mij body. My heart was racing, I experienced an enormous pressure on my chest. It felt like a heart attack. Medical examination showed no somatic disorders so I eventually ended up in mental health care. A psychiatrist diagnosed me with panic disorder and agoraphobia. Treatment started with ssri and therapy. Currently I'm doing better. I still suffer from chest pain and certain things are still complicated but overall I am optimistic. When I look back at it now I even feel gratitude, because it learned me to validate my emotions and the resulting bodily sensations
Lauren, again, thanks for everything that you put out. Agoraphobia is so isolating, and I remember the first time I came across your videos all those years ago, and how much of a difference it made to have someone express so well EXACTLY what I was experiencing. I'm 13 years into my personal journey, and you make an important point that it's a personal journey which is different for different people. I'd like to share that medication was a necessity for me, and may be for some of your community as well. 1.5 years into my journey I got a job that involved 45 minutes of bus ride each way. I could barely leave the house at that point, but decided to meet the challenge head on and try the extreme exposure therapy this work commute would force me to do. For the next 4 years I forced myself to bus to work, to support my family and with the hopes that I just needed to keep confronting my agoraphobia. Without medication, I spent 4 years twice a day creating a trauma pattern that re-enforced my agoraphobia and left my physical and mental health in crisis. It was only once I accepted to go to a doctor for medication that I was able to experience travel without excessive trauma, and start to build new positive patterns. I've continued to slowly, and under supervision, go on and off medications to help me push my boundaries and explore with my doctor what works best for me at different points in my journey. I think, Lauren, what I appreciate most in this video and wish to underline is how gentle you were with yourself getting back out in to the world. I was rigid and stubborn in my exposure therapy, and the more rigid I was the more agoraphobia was ready to punch me in the gut and send me sh!ting in a bush beside the bus route.
I was so rigid with mine too! I tried doing it medication free and run myself ragged
The following lines from the track “Hi Ren” really hit home for me about that rigidity:
As I got older I realised that there were no real winners
Or no real losers in physiological warfare
But there were victims and there were students
It wasn't David verses Goliath, it's was a pendulum eternally
Swaying between the dark and the light,
And the brighter the light shone, the darker the shadow it cast
It was never a battle for me to win, it was an eternal dance,
And like a dance, the more rigid I became the harder it got
The more I cursed my clumsy footsteps the more i suffered
And so I got older and I learned to relax,
And I learned to soften, and that dance got easier
It is this eternal waltz that separates human beings
From angels, from demons, from gods
And I must not forget, we must not forget, that we are human beings.
Wow. This is beautiful
ahh John you are so lovely. And I value your words regarding medication and thank you for being so open about it all!! Medication is still a daily part of my life and I'm grateful that it's been apart of my journey. It's funny that you speak of being so rigid, because from the way you've spoken in your comments over the years, you come across as one of the most gentle souls!
Yes, thank you for saying this. I’ve been struggling for years and want my life back. Medication is absolutely necessary for me as well bc what would happen is, I would confront a fear and then when I’d confront it again, it was like the first time.. on a feeling level, I learned nothing bc the fear was so strong and so engrained. I just couldn’t get past it without help.
Tysm for this video. Im at breaking point in my life, i have suffer in 9 years now, got better in some stuff, but im not living my life. This gave me hope and im happy for you. Ty ❤
Sending you so much love. Breaking point can sometimes be the best thing...I think that's when we find a new sense of resolve that we didn't realise was there before. You've got this ❤️
I read the "just go out when youre sick of it" And the "float through it" Books. I also completely relate to not caring if i die, its the humiliation and crazy fear.
My biggest issues are using the tube because my toilet anxiety has led to fear of being stuck in a tunnel, and travel eg in a coach where theres no toilet. Ive considered learning to drive but in a major city it doesn't appeal to me!
Its interesting you mention having your child with you helped dilute your focus as i have the same with my dog
I completely understand this, I've considered learning to drive .. then that brings up more anxiety, because ill be stuck in a car not knowing a quick exit, ect. It's frustrating and a vicious circle xx
@@rachealpike7986 totally! Or being stuck in a traffic jam
Yes - the thought of utter humiliation seems to trump everything for me! And I hear you on the travel/coach thing, too.
Doggos are the best! Who is your little floof?
@@LaurenRose. Elsa the jack Russell Cross Chihuahua :)
Thank you for this video, genuinely. I was diagnosed eith GAD and panic disorder as a teenager. Eventually the SSRI meds led to benzos. 3 years ago i stopped taking benzos and i developed Benzodiazapine Induced Neurological Dysorder (BIND). I've worked through it myself, but accidentally developed agoraphobia in doing so. It started as a fear of driving and spread quick to every area of my life. It's a very loney path with a silver lining of learning to love yourself in a way never possible. Thank you again, your company was well recieved today 😊
I’m so glad you’ve found it helpful!! 🥰 sending you lots of love and warmth on your journey forwards 🩷
This is so vaidating for someone else who is struggling with all the things youre talking about. Driving is a huge struggle for me, grocery stores are challenging and i too am fearful about medication. I take a medication now thats not a good logterm option so i feel like I'm just in a holding pattern. It's such a challenge to just do normal life. I hate when people ask, "how are you doing?" The answer is never positive but you get tired of saying that out loud. The temptation to lie and say "great" is so strong bc theres no clear process of how to get out of this place. Thankful to hear you are experiencing improvement ❤
I know what you mean about being in a holding pattern. I've felt that way sometimes, too. I remember I saw a doctor a few years back for a health issue and he asked what medication I was on. I told him, and in response to my antidepressant, he asked "why are you still taking that?". It was the first time I'd been asked that and it threw me a bit!
But, I find that I focus these days more on moving towards things I want - places I want to go, things I want to achieve. It seems to help. I hope you're doing okay today ❤️
@@LaurenRose. I was able to drive multiple places yesterday with minimal issue 🙌🏻 felt like such a win!
Your success story gave me a lot of hope and confidence that I can overcome Agoraphobia too!! Thanks a lot for sharing in such details!! ❤
You’re welcome!
I loved your story. You are blessed that you got to try so many different exposure therapies and that they helped you! I totally understand having hostility when being invited somewhere when you don't want to go. I get that way too. I'm like why can't anyone understand why I'm not interested in going. I've been suffering from agoraphobia for years. Pray to Saint Jude for help with anxiety and agoraphobia he will help you. I did a 9 day novena and immediately put myself through exposure therapy. Now those places that used to scare me I now miss when I leave. Saint Jude is so caring and kind he'll never refuse to lend a helping hand!
18:11 that’s EXACTLY what ive been doing the past weeks. Ive been battling the same thing for 10 years now, but it absolutely went haywire after covid due to long periods of staying inside especially, although thats not the only reason (2013-2020 I basically was gaslighting myself that I was fine, going to school in constant discomfort and hiding my problems. Eventually my whole system just collapsed. Luckily nothing that cant be fixed, but damn I was close. It was a very traumatic time to say the least.)
Aaanyway, Im currently able to ride my bike for roughly an hour on a good day, but it really depends on how I feel and where Im going. I live in an area with lots of fields, and there are paths I can take without meeting too many cars or people. Basically the more cars the worse the anxiety gets. Im working towards being able to go in a shop..theyre about 1.5 miles from where I live and I have to take my bike as I dont have a drivers license, so it’s especially hard because the ride there is at least 15 mind + many cars on the way there+ the shop itself+ the time it takes me to get back home.
Ill try and drive in the car the next couple of weeks as well. Ive been putting it off as cars give me severe panic attacks (the trauma started with a car ride from 2013). I think ill try and do 5-10 mins and see how it goes. And bring lots of safety supplies as well …..
So a little update😊
Driving is going pretty well, I don’t freak out as quickly as I used to. There are actually times where I’m quite calm, I even drive to the supermarket from time to time! I’m currently on a bit of a setback, that’s why I’ve returned to this video. Trying to go out for small walks again until I feel more comfortable.
I am 57 years old man,, mine strarted when i was 12 in an instant. Still have it but learnt to live with it,, its better but i hate the sweating & red face of embarresment.
Living with IT,, is all about reversing Avoidn't behavior then slowly letting yourself become more comfortable step by step. There is no magical Cure, just keep your chin up.
I’ve struggeled with this since I was 10. I’m 23 and can count on 1 hand the amount of times I’ve slept away from the house. I’ve missed out on travel, college, and work opportunities. I don’t have friends anymore. After so many years of living a shell I honestly don’t know what my next steps will look like.
Go easy steps every day, expouser terapy. Littlebit by littlebit you will see progress whitch will motivate you more
I'm also 23 just dropped out of university for the 3rd time because of agoraphobia and health anxiety idk what to do with my life now at home
Thank you so much for sharing your inspiring journey!
I hope this year triggers something in me been fully stuck in my house since I was 14 I’m now 22 I’m also at the point where mentally I’m struggling to continue this life but I hope this year I can make progress I don’t want to live like this anymore
Are you able to get any professional help? Have you tried these telemedicine visits via Zoom - you don't even have to leave your house to see someone who can help you?
Best wishes and prayerful thoughts your way...
Keep going. Sometimes these breaking points are really turning points. What is one thing you could do today to open up to fear in a compassionate way?
literally same, im 22 turning 23 in april and i never leave the house and it feels so isolating.
2024 is your year! Claim it! Get so pissed off that you dont want to live like this anymore that you go out there and fight it! Sending so much love
I had this 40 years ago and than I developed it again in July 2023. I can get out sometimes but I can't visit during Christmas for meals. I can't get to my doctor, chiropractor and dentist. Appointments are more difficult because it's a set time. My counsellor said trauma was why I have this. There is no quick fix.
I feel like you’ve just read my story word for word! I started getting agoraphobia symptoms after lockdown and I became housebound last year. It started getting better for me with walks, going further as soon as I felt more comfortable. It’s been 9ish months and I can now drive around my town (mostly), I’ve been to the gym, went shopping the other day, things I could only have dreamed of a few months ago. Some stuff is still a no go and it’s such a longgg process but thank you for giving me some hope that it is possible to get back to normal. Also a hugeeee well done to you, it’s so much harder than people will know.
I'm struggling with depression and agoraphobia. Even going to toilet or taking a bath scares me, just few steps outside our home my heart starts to pound faster, my vision would be blurry and starting to catch my breath. My body feels so weak that i couldn't feel the floor, i feel like flying. I just survived everyday but not living with it. People makes me scared to the point that it choking me... I feel caved. I couldn't focus to anything. I always look forward going to bed because that's where i feel the comfort. My heart hurts so bad, but if you ask me why... I don't know.
I'm 20 years old, i couldn't tell my parents because we're poor and unable to go to seek help from professionals. I don't want to tell them coz maybe they'll say that its just my imagination.
I don't know what to do. Please. Help me.
I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. Dealing with agoraphobia and depression can feel so isolating and overwhelming, and I hear you saying that you're unable to tell your parents or get professional help..however - the most important thing is that you are able to talk about what you're going through. These things have a way of festering when we keep them inside. I'm not sure where you are located, but there are lots of free online or telephone support services that can help - you shouldn't have to go through this alone. I implore you to seek any free or low cost services that are available in your area, as they will also be able to point you towards other resources that may be able to assist.
The other thing to know is that you are not alone, and you will not feel this way forever. I know things are very hard right now, at this moment, and please offer yourself lots of love and compassion as you navigate your way through. Mental health is sometimes a tricky balancing act along with physical health and it takes time and patience and courage to get through. Its wonderful that you're already reaching out here - you've already taken one big step..now it's time for a few more. ❤️
Morning, @vanessacorsiga...
I hope you've seen and read Lauren Rose's response to your comment.
What has helped me the most is being able to "See" a therapist via "Zoom," it's called telemedicine - without having to leave my home.
I'm still struggling as you are just to leave my house and to ride in a car.
My prayerful thoughts your way...oh, and for sure - you are not alone!
@@LaurenRose.
Good response, Lauren.
Her symptoms of a panic attack are almost exactly like mine. Yours, too.
I have struggled with severe anxiety/panic disorder for so many years. I have had several instances of being completely unable to leave my home, "Housebound" for years at a time. I have lost out on so much of life.
Only recently I have found some help via telemedicine, where I can see a therapist and not have to leave home. It's been a Godsend. I'm struggling now just to be able to leave my safe home and ride in a car. I know, this all sounds so crazy. Without this blessing of telemedicine via my smartphone or computer, I would simply lapse into another cycle of who knows how many years of being completely housebound?
I hope these others here that have commented will read your responses.
Thank you for your openness - your symptoms were so much like my own. I too - didn't have a clue what was happening to me! At one point, I thought I was going "Crazy" because I had smoked pot.
You are proof that those of us still in the midst of these disorders can get better, can come back to the wonderful land of the living!
Thanks, Lauren...
Thank you, I feel much less alone now ❤️
I’m so glad! ❤️
THE MOST RELATABLE VIDEO EVER!!! I challenged the thought once and it resulted in my shitting my pants in front of everyone at Tullimarine Melbourne international. Diahreea in my jeans. 😅😅 I've listened to A LOT of videos about agoraphobia, panic disorder and emetophobia and this by far has been the best video yet. Thank you! Love from Queenstown, New Zealand
Would wearing incontinence pants (like the ones for the elderly and infirm) help reduce anxiety in a possibly stressful situation?
Lol yes Stephanie...I hear you! Sometimes diarrhoea does indeed happen. But I can also tell you I know more people who've shit their pants than not 🤣 A curse of being a human with a digestive system (but also a blessing that we are able to digest and ..release 🙂, really, isn't it?!) I'm so glad you related to this video. Also, can I please come and live with you in Queenstown?!?!?! Oh my gosh, most BEAUTIFUL CITY EVER.
I've had this condition since 1998. I only get out of my. house once a week and that is to go to my local grocery store. I fill my car up with fuel twice a year. I would be more happy if I only got out once every two weeks. I don't mind having this condition anymore, but I'm almost 70 years old and my life is one of retirement. I work on my paintings and drawings. I'll keep you all in my prayers, because I know what you all are feeling. God be with us all!
Just watched this video and this is exactly what I’m going through. I’m always trying to work out what’s happening with my body and googling symptoms and health conditions even though the doctor has told me numerous times all health results are fine. I can actually leave the house but I feel like I’m fighting with myself to do it. And walking away from the house is really hard because I know at some point I start feeling like I’m gonna collapse with like vertigo type feeling and can’t get back home quick enough. But I also know the longer I stay in house the harder it becomes. Absolute nightmare it is but I can just about convince myself it’s not dangerous even tho the physical take over and make you feel it’s is dangerous. Anyone that can break from this or cope is a strong amazing individual.
This video really helped me to understand that I can do it and I’ve been doing it. Just the discomfort I don’t like and I know I can handle it
I’m so glad! Keep me posted 🩷
Thank you for this video. You are very brave. Had agoraphobia for nearly 20 years. Housebound for a long time. Decided one day to just try and go for a walk. Literally got 100 metres panicked and returned to my "safe place". Tried again next day got a little bit further. My thought process started to be the further I went the further away my "safe place" was so created more "safe places" ie the local shop, the local pub, my friends house. Eventually I could walk for a long time knowing If I had a panic attack I was never far away from 1 of my 20 "safe places". I'm not cured yet but I am no longer house bound. I can get on public transport. I can go for a long walk. I can happily commute to work. Videos like this are so important because the hardest part of agoraphobia is feeling that you are weak, alone and no one will ever understand. You have given a lot of people hope. Thank you
Thank you for validating small steps! I feel like it's either people never recovering at all or others saying we should just "face it all" with no balance
You're doing so well!! And yes, you are most certainly not alone - I'm sure that there are many who would benefit from hearing your story, too. Sometimes we need to see how it can work through others before we are brave enough to try it ourselves.
I noticed that quite a few people only became like this during the pandemic. That is when it started for me!
I can't even go out alone anymore, and if I do force myself out with somebody, I have panic attacks, hyperventilate, and want to go home 😢
I wish I had a somebody to talk to who can understand it!
Thank you for this video. I’m currently struggling with a bout of bad agoraphobia. I just started daily walks, I’m hoping I can come around soon and be able to start living my life again.
Hi Lauren! I miss you!! I’m not on Instagram but started a UA-cam channel. Still so blessed by your content. I had a few days where I felt like I couldn’t leave my house recently. I started getting mad at myself, accusing myself of being agoraphobic. With my therapist we reframed what I was going through and realized I needed rest and recovery, and not to accuse or put myself down. It was great to be in a place where I could be gentle with myself, let myself recharge and be ready to walk out the front door again. 💗👏🏻
Thanks for sharing, you’re amazing.
The packing all the things is something I really relate too. When I started realizing that I was able to leave without checking my bag for the snacks, water, medications, etc I realized I was changing too.
Also, it’s amazing how our kids can challenge and change us. I’m in recovery 100% thanks to my kids.
Hello gorgeous! I'm thrilled to see you have a UA-cam channel!! And I am so happy to hear about the gentle compassion towards yourself, too. And I admit - I do the same thing often - swing between fury at myself (which is always mostly just fear in disguise, for me) and then that realisation of 'oh, I'm just going through a hard time and need to give myself a little more love and space'. I'm sure I'll do that dance for a long time to come, but I'm also pretty sure that's part of being human, hey!
Thanks, and I'm proud of you ❤
I developed agoraphobia after a traumatic undiagnosed manic episode that was horrific and it happened while i traveled. Its ruined my dreams of traveling but its been 5 years and i still feel too scared
Could you try with a staycation?
I'm sorry you went through that ❤️
Keep going. Keep trying. It's okay to feel scared - you can take that fear along with you, and you'll find that it will ease the further you go.
I’m a therapist and I feel so much shame that I have developed agoraphobia and can’t break out of it, despite knowing everything I need to do to get better.
Guess what? I'm a therapist and I've also developed it. It's always been anxiety and need for isolation at times, but the past few years it's turned to full on diagnosable. Please relinquish the shame because I believe this is progressive and can sneak up on you.
Please remember that you are a human first and foremost - there should be no shame for experiencing one of the most basic human emotions (fear)! Sometimes the knowledge of what to do doesn't necessarily help...But in a way, that's a really wonderful thing. Because you WILL find a way through, and it will be a pathway that you carve through feeling and creativity and experience, and I think that will be so much more valuable to you as a human, and as a therapist.
Go see a therapist even though u know what to do it's better when someone tells u
This is something I feel I'm facing. Thank you for your honest and open video about this. You have real strength of purpose. Well done! ❤❤
Thank you so much!
I wish I had seen this 20+ years ago. I have been having panic attacks since the mid 90's, I am now 61 and my life has basically been ruled by them for around 30 years. I have learnt to cope, by gearing myself up when I need to go out, taking Imodium to make sure that I have no embarrassing accidents, not eating just taking sips of water. Sadly I now have arthritis which has made me more housebound than I was. I cried when I saw this vid because you suffered all the symptoms I do, and I have never met or talked to anyone who understood my type of disorder. I am so glad you are living life to the full. Thank you for making this, I am sure many people have found it helpful.
Oh, thank you for watching and for such a genuine comment. There are so many people I've met over the years who have dealt with these exact same thoughts and symptoms - and they are always the nicest folk. You are not alone ❤️
OMG, best video ever! It's the exact description of what i'm dealing with too! So good to hear you are living full on again! I should show this video to my psychologist to describe how i am feeling.
You just described exactly how I've been feeling the past month. It seems like every few years my agoraphobia comes back and I have to start all over to try and overcome it again. I've been taking baby steps to get out and today took the leap and went out to lunch with my parents even though I was afraid to. I feel better knowing nothing bad happened besides a bit of uneasiness. Thank you for sharing your story ❤️ It's so hard to go through but so helpful to not feel so alone and hear other people's journeys to get through it
I have struggled with it for over 30 years and it has never changed I go out and it shuts my body down going from been agoraphobia to doing normal things I don’t believe it once you have panic attacks you alllways have them a full stop no medication changes it
I’ve been like this since the start of pandemic in 2020, I’ve left my home a handful of times from then to now…the thing that stops me is I feel like I’m going to burst out in tears and I hate crying in front of people. I make it a couple houses up and then that feeling comes over me and I turn back around. I want to enjoy life again. I have hope, I hate feeling like a prisoner.
I wonder how many people have similar stories to yours. Lost in the obvious scientific part of the pandemic, and the horrible fact that it was politicized, is the mental health toll it has taken. It’s just not healthy to feel trapped, to feel confined, and for those of us who have dealt with anxiety through our lives, a pandemic is the last thing we needed. Yes, the pandemic is technically over but those other aspects remain. I for one understand how this horrible experience has taken, and is still taking, a toll on the sensitive among us. You’re not alone.
That's exactly when it all began for me too. June 2020, I suddenly got a panic attack. It progressed to panic disorder and agoraphobia.
I feel like if we'd never had the pandemic, then I wouldn't be like this 😔
@@charlalar14 I feel the same 😩 if it never happened , I wouldn’t feel like this .
@DelusionalGemini
I forced myself to finally go out today, and it resulted in me having one of the worst panic attacks of my life. I had to call an ambulance, and I felt so stupid once I'd calmed down and they said that I was fine. Now I'm stuck in panic mode, and I don't want to go out anymore again because of the fear.
So it continues making my life a living hell 😭😭😭😭😭
How are you doing?
@@charlalar14 I went out last Saturday to an event I was a little buzzed so I think that’s why I was able to control my anxiety. Other than that I haven’t been anywhere since. I do have an appointment on the 20th for medication that I’m terrified to take but I’m gonna try are you on any type of medication for it ? if so what..
Ty for opening up.
@atypicalpaul
I hope your doing okay, Paul.
You've got a lot of things happening, so many challenges.
Are you doing any therapy aside from the meds?
Klonapin is a good one for panic attacks. It helped me a great deal for a long time.
I hope this finds you well, take care and thanks for sharing here...
Thank you so much.. My agoraphobia started when i was 22 as well! Im 25 now and still havent left the house.. Im so hard on myself because I felt like I wasted precious years but it hurts just so bad.. I really want to get better but I'm so scared of what my body will do. I dont want to go somewhere fun and struggle with the pain of overstimulating surroundings and panic attacks 😢 I want to breathe..
Thank you so much I’m so glad I found your video. I’ve been suffering from this sins 2019 I’m going to try to go out for walks too 😊
I have agoraphobia due to a few years ago getting hypoglycemia while I was driving and almost passing out while driving on the highway. It’s been 3 years for me. I haven’t seen my family in years. They live 1000 miles away. I’m house bound. For me, it’s partially mental. Mental in the sense where I’m asking the What Ifs…….. like what if I black out, go into shock, and die. Or what if I have to be hospitalized. The root of my fear is losing control. Being physically active makes me feel weak. I can barely even stand some days. Other days, I do 4000-5000 steps doing things like cleaning.
Ocasionally I have done things like go out to a restaurant, go to the dentist, take my pets to the hospital for an emergency… but I can only be out for like an hour before I start to lose it. I’m 26 years old… what’s crazy is only like 5-6 years ago I was climbing mountains and going on 30-40 mile multi-day hikes in the wilderness. Thinking about being in those situations now gives me the cold sweaty feeling. I wonder a lot if I’m going to be like this forever. I want to build good habits and maybe try walks, but I just feel so damn tired all the time.
Very relatable, it sucks. I find myself reminiscent of the past, even the mundane things.
How are you today?
@@bekamoreno I’m getting better. I started new medication today called Buspirone. It’s going okay. Was scared to take it, but honestly not many side effects other than an upset stomach. But hey, I already had that from my anxiety :-) lol.
This has been sooooo helpful! I have developed agoraphobia after being ill in a foreign country (where I moved to with so much excitement and enthusiasm almost two years ago), for three months. I got so used to hiding and not interacting with people except for essentials. I have to just get out and see my world again, and stop searching for fix its, which I have been obsessively doing. Thank you!
I would really love a video of the exact mindset and steps please a lengthy one like this one, I’m a my wits end
This is wow. I can so relate.. especially the flight thing… 🙏🏻
This is a really beautifull testimony. What i relate to most is how the anxeity is coupled with the real fear that something might happen. For you, as you said it was toilet anxiety, which sounds horrible to deal with, for me its the fear that i might have an episode of psycosis as i've had one before i became agrophobic. I have gone down a few paths trying to fix this, i'm currently doing self guided EMDR in a hope that I can remedy the trauma thus taking away the fear from the possibility that it might happen. As for exposure therapy I pretty much have already been doing exactly what you said in this video, which i find quite validating so thank you for that. I have recently gone back to work in my office which is 6 miles away from my house, I do half days and i stay there for 3 hours. Some days are not too bad. Some days are really hard, the journey there is always hard, my palms sweat and my heart starts to pound. I just hope and pray I can keep my strength up and beat this thing.
I could relate to this videos among every video I saw! I never felt scared to watch this. ❤
I think I also have agoraphobia-panic-anxiety attacks because I really get to have the attacks, meaning, out of breath, hyperventilating and all. I can go out of the house if it’s our familial house we’re referring to, i can walk up to the market and convenience store but when I stay at our couple’s house which is farther from my comfort zone, i could not even go to the corner lot alone unless I have someone with me who knows my condition. I resigned from work because Ive become anti social in a way. I could not commute for years already and could not go out far away from home alone. I could not drive anymore along the highways because I get scared when it’s traffic, i begin to feel suffocated and claustrophobic. Now we’re scheduled to travel far but im really really scared to go even if i’d be with someone who knows my condition. I avoid a lot of situations that I feel so unsafe. I think im partially agoraphobic and at the same time have stress related panic something. I hope I could also help myself because I also feel alone and helpless. Plus the fact i have never tried riding an airplane because im scared that i might have attacks and the plane could not land to help me. 😢
Just want to say thank you for sharing this, I've been stuck in my house since I was 19 and I'm 26 now only been round the block once but I'm going to do what you said I did do the going out trying to go one house at a time and it worked I was getting up to like 5-6 houses but everytime I have a bad day I slowly stop doing it and fall back to not leaving for months but I'm going to try to go out on my front everyday and just stick to it, you gave me hope thank you
Thank you for show this to the world,this is my life now isolate from the world and I don’t want to live anymore
Thanks so much for sharing your story it made me sad but better listening ❤
thank you for sharing and giving me hope 🥹
Excellent information. Thank you for sharing your story. Subscribed
Thanks for the sub! I’m happy to have you here 🩷
It’s been 25-30 years for me. I get to work, and get out, but I don’t go further than 3-4 miles most days, and 12-15 two or three times a week. But I really want to drive 6-8 hours so I can hike in the mountains and see people in my old home town. I’m definitely gonna try to say yes more, but I’ve basically been on the same hamster wheel looking for a cure for years (my latest plan was ketamine therapy even though I’ve never done any drugs, drank a beer, etc.).
I love you for this. Thank you
This is literally the same thing I’m going through. I’ve tried many medications I tried CBT none of which helped. The only thing that helps along with my current Ssri is benzos and they’re so addictive so I need to be careful with them. It’s a vicious circle. I’m going to try exposure therapy. It’s so hard to start just thinking about having panic attacks 😩 I need to do it though! You’re an inspiration
Take magnesium tablets it helps you stop your panic attacks
@yahyabullit2919
I heard about this. Is it really true? I'm agoraphobic due to severe panic attacks stopping me from wanting to be outside.
Does magnesium really work?
Thank you for your honesty xx
Thank you 🫶🏻
This is so relatable except i have ptsd from a car accident (not my fault) and now its hard for me to want to drive far from my house.
I totally understand how you feel when ppl ask you to go places. I did the same thing recently when another mom invited us to a museum 40 mins away. This ptsd is hard. I want some medication but I can never get past day 4.
I am doing flooding exposure. It works much faster. It's 2 weeks and I am able to go to grocery store already but not with my kid yet
I’m 14 and every time I’m in a car or away from home, I feel nauseous and dizzy, feeling like I’m fainting (I’ve never fainted) and I just can’t leave my house without coming home quickly or having panic attacks. I need help but I don’t know how to fix it :(
I’m dealing with this right now and it’s so hard I feels so sorry for myself idk how to help myself
Thank you so much for sharing your experience!! Very uplifting ❤
I’ve developed this since Covid or should I say it’s gotten worse I’m in freeze mode, I’m on Duloxatine for social anxiety as well . My self esteem is very low and this adds to it . I’m thinking of going on a group holiday as o don’t have any friends left unfortunately.
How do you get past that feeling like youre qhite knuckling every exposure therapy?
Im SO relieved when its over and it honestly still feels lile punishment.
Yes...im wondering the same thing
It took time for sure, but I think a lot of it was to do with the ways I did exposure. For example, an exposure for me was something like agreeing to attend a friends wedding, or going to a baby shower, or (eventually) getting on a plane. So although there was so many periods in the beginning where I was pushing to get through, I would have that moment at the end where it was like Oh my god, I'm here, I'm out, I'm so happy that I've achieved this! And I guess that feeling of achievement became something I chased, and something I held onto when things got hard. And then over time, I became more willing to slow myself down during the exposures so it wasn't just a case of getting from point A to point B as quickly as possible to reach that sense of 'achievement', it was more like an exploration of the journey between. The achievement then became the willingness to feel panicked and not freak out about it. I hope that makes sense!!
Can you be a bit more creative about your exposures somehow? Like instead of the exposure being the goal, make the goal something beyond that?
Thank you for this video!
I love your style.
Thank you for sharing on the topic.
I say. Change your environment change your mind
I'm so scared to leave the course. I think I'm going to die if I get in a car or on a plane.
I am currently suffering from agoraphobia. I also live in NYC. I was recently assaulted in front of my residence. last week, while crossing the street I came literal inches from being killed by a driver that was texting. I have also been attacked in and in front my residence. This morning a very aggressive prevented me from making a purchase. I am not a felon, yet my mental illness history prohibits an effective self defense solution. What could possibly go wrong with all of the above??????
Thank God as i am not alone.
I just want to say a huge thank you for making this video. Although I’m not completely homebound, I cannot get on public transport without panic attacks and the thoughts of how I will be so anxious and scarred that I won’t be able to get the return journey. This has now affected me everytime I drive myself anywhere.
I have also read DARE and as you say the motivation you get from books is amazing. I just wanted to ask though what do you think is different between what DARE suggests you do vs what you did. You still just put yourself out there and made yourself experience the anxiety and panic.
I find if I expose myself on days I don’t feel like it and have a super hard time, I actually make things worse and trigger more anxiety. I’ve noticed this when I’ve really made an extreme jump in with exposure therapy. However if I don’t do it, I feel like a failure and that I’m making things worse because I gave into the anxiety so it seems like a loose loose for me.
On those harder days where you decided to not do the difficult things were you just kind to yourself and say there’s always tomorrow, today just isn’t a great day? All the books and therapy suggest this isn’t the best way but sometimes it’s just too much, I force it, then for a week or so my anxiety is way worse from forcing through the panic!
I really appreciate this video and your insights and I’m glad you are much better!!! 🫶
I would give a kidney without anesthetic to be able to travel in a CAR by myself and take my dog to the local shopping centre which is 7 mins drive away. It’s been more than 11 years and I still can’t do it
I hear a lot of passion, and a lot of drive in your words. No idea what time it is where you are, but can you make a step towards this right now?? I am here for you. I know there is so much in you that feels afraid, but there is obviously so much in you that knows exactly what you want and understands that there will be some pain involved in getting there. It's ok to feel the discomfort. It's ok to feel scared. It's ok to get in the car and have your hands shake and your breath catch in your chest. You look over at your doggo and you say, Lets try this, you and me. You just stay open to feeling the worst of it. I promise you, the frustration of WANTING to do it and not doing it feels 100x worse than the actual process of doing it.
@@LaurenRose. Awww Lauren 😭😭 you have no idea what these words mean to me. I live in Melbourne, Australia. I also have a medical procedure coming up in less than 2 weeks. I am petrified of just getting there eventhough my parents are taking me. This is not a life
For me, every time I leave my house, I feel like I can't breathe. My breathing becomes shallow and it feels like I'm suffocating. This then leads to severe panic attacks.
Now I don't go out at all.
I tried to finally leave the house last week, but I got in such a bad state.
My therapist (phone only), says to do exposure therapy, but how can I when my body goes crazy from just going a few steps outside? In my head I know that I'm safe and healthy (hospital checks confirmed this before I stopped going out), but my body has so many symptoms that it feels like death is incoming every time.
I don't know how I will ever go outside again. This is no life, this is torture. Even at my breaking point where I've gotten so angry about it, I still can't get past the fear of going out there.
I wish there was someone to talk to. Everyone has grown tired now and no longer cares because they think I'm not helping myself anyway, they don't understand how terrified and broken I feel. I'm truly at a loss.
Hey I am in the same boat and I'll tell you some very helpful things that's got me on the recovery bus. I recently learned that I had somatic OCD causing me to constantly focus on my breathing or really any body sensation. That was the first step. The next was to start learning as much as I could about agoraphobia ocd and panic attacks. I'd suggest the anxious truth. He's been a huge stepping stone when it came to learning more about the mindset you have. I'd also like to look at something more new to me was willingness. When it came to exposure I kept trying to get myself into a 100 out of 100. I was never willing to do that and when I did I'd white nuckle the entire thing making the learning less efficient if at all. There are 2 different types of exposure therapy and I found inhibitory exposures mixed with habitation to be the best for me. With the inhibitory learning I aim to get about a 50 or 60 on my anxiety. Not a panic attack but enough to cause some fear. I then let it come down naturally without doing any rituals to feel better (safe spaces ice packs distraction etc) and I get bored with the feeling. Once you get bored go about your day. And do that a few times a day. Not enough to burn you out. The trick is you aren't trying to make these feelings and thoughts go away, you are learning how to sit with these feelings and thoughts and keep going.
I get this but the worst part is feeling sick and throat went funny like i was going to gag and be sick with trembling if anyone has any tips on how to control that when i leave my house and get in a car going places and getting on a bus, its worse sitting on the bus than getting in my mums car.
I can relate so much xx
What medication are you taking currently? Thank you for the video , very helpful! I’m on sertraline and beta blockers, also something for IBS as the dr thinks it’s anxiety + IBS.. I think they help but not always.. awaiting therapy.. oh God I’d love all of us suffering of this to have a normal life 😢 I feel like I cannot even imagine a normal life anymore for myself..
I have urge and stress incontinence, and faecal leakage.I do pelvic floor exercises,wear pads and prescribed lomperimide.I feel there is not much hope.😢
Yes you could wear pads and do low effort exposures. As long as you do them everyday.
i subscribed. you are the key . thank you in advance.❤
Wow.
The alien feeling of seeing other people have fun. Yes.
I oscillate between extremes.
I face terror and go to events and have a blast.
But then I wake up the next morning and feel frozen again.
Every day is a battle beyond words.
I’m fucking tired.