CLINGY TODDLER OR CHILD: Why it Happens & What to Do!
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- Опубліковано 26 сер 2024
- CLINGY TODDLER OR CHILD: Why it Happens & What to Do!
Dealing with clingy behavior is exhausting. It can be frustrating to know what to do/say when your child is crying to be held for the 1000th time. In this video, I share some of the top reasons why children become clingy and 3 quick tips to curb the behavior!
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Sharing positive parenting tips to help you understand and connect with your child so that you can be the parent you want to be!
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Put him in time outs. Doesn't do anything
My 3 year old son is so attached to me . i cant eat and i cant go to the bathroom alone. I have no space. Also he doesnt listen and throw stuff at me and hits me and bits me. I feel like im doing something wrong..
I always repeat the words 'my child's behaviour is trying to tell me something' now - it's so helpful!
Love that!
I’m so hard on myself when it comes to parenting. I try to do all the things I know that’s best for my son, I love him so much it’s overwhelming at times.
I'm a Work from mom with no husband..it's so hard juggling this with my clingy toddler!😢 but thank you.. this assured me that this can be remedied..
I get this. Very difficult working at home. Then your feeding and cleaning inbetween. Makes me feel guilty alot. Try to alot time even if its small amount of time to engage with them.
Feeling the challenge of juggling work with motherhood. Virtual hugs momma
Same here..😅😢
I recently stopped nursing our 2 1/2 year old. She’s always been clingy but, it was mostly because I was her source of food and what she used me to pacify when she was hurt or sleepy. Now the clinginess is out the roof! I can’t even pee without her on my lap or even go into the next room without her freaking out crying for me. I’m spending tons of play time with her & our schedule is a must 24/7 so those are practices I have down pat. It’s totally impacted my relationship with my husband and other two older kids.
Oh, and to top it off, she’s starting a 2 year old 1/2 time preschool in the fall. SOS!! I’m at a loss of what to do!
This is the same with my youngest son
He’s 2.5 and literally crawls under my shirt to be close to me
I feel you, my daughter won't even let me eat. Sometimes I get so angry 😔😔 then I feel so guilty about getting angry
Hey did you come through it ok? I have a stage 4 clinger baby and i need to know the tunnel ends haha.
I hope everything worked well, you4 comments gave me peace of mind because my 2.5 year old son is like my shadow. I feel bad for him when I go to work and I have very long hours, he doesn’t act the same with my husband. I’m off this month and I spent all day with him playing and visiting parks but noticed his clinginess got worse ! You made me feel that I’m not alone
😢😢😢
To all the mamas here: I love yall, am praying for yall and would give you all big hugs if I were near you. Im currently going through the clinginess with my 2.5 yr old. Its going to get better❤❤❤
Thank you for this video❤
How do I enforce boundaries with a toddler? I tell her repeatedly to sit NEXT to me. To climb on the OTHER couch. I will move her and try to transition smoothly, add stimulating activities, make sure her physical needs are met (diaper, filling foods, water, vitamins, sleep, etc.) but no change is happening. I literally sit on the counter to drink my morning coffee because she will climb on me no matter what.
Did u get through this ?
This is my 2.5 year old who got kicked out of MDO after 3 weeks for screaming to go home and not being able to be calmed. Her dad and I give her so much attention, I play and validate her while trying to keep firm boundaries and I swear she has only gotten more clingy recently 😣 We cant leave her with anything and she has never slept through the night, never slept in the car or stroller as a baby, I’m so exhausted and burnt out. Hugs mama, hope we both find the light at the end of the tunnel soon with the clinginess
Can you do a video about how to help toddlers cultivate their attention span and ability to play quietly/independently?
❤This was my first time visiting your channel and I’m impressed enough to subscribe.😊
I’m a grandmother to a grandchild that lives far away. I’m staying with my daughter and caring for my granddaughter for 3 1/2 weeks while her day home is closed.
I’m observing my granddaughters behaviour and experiencing her for the first time for this length of time and wanting to know what’s natural for a-year-old.
You provided excellent information and confirmed my intuition as a stay home mother of two.
Have shared your video with my daughter in the hopes that your excellent tips will help. 😊
I'm happy for these tips. One thing I never understood is that my daughter has been like this since her birth. As a new born....like at day old at the hospital. I had to literally hold her all day or she would scream down all day. The nurses had to hold her or she would wake all the other babies, crying all night. She continued about this trend until toddler stage and now at 7 years she is still so clingy and constantly comes for hugs and kisses....and always needs my reassurance when shes doing a task like painting art and craft etc.
So question, is it that they can naturally born this way?
Noteworthy: I had the most anxious behaviour and things were messy between her dad and I when I was pregnant.
Curious about this too.. i was so stressed while pregnant..my boy is so anxious and clingy..he's 3 years old now.. my husband is absent during my pregnancy and after i gave birth because of work so..😢
I believe the energy in the womb is very important . Also I believe in past life challenges which can bleed into this life
@tanisha lewis i m facing the same from my daughter's birth.. i also had issue with my partner during pregnancy.. so relatable😖
SAME! I was under a HUGE amount of stress during pregnancy. My daughter has had ever increasing anxiety since birth. I am going to seek a psychologist. I feel so bad for even waiting this long!
Glad to see this comment. My son who is now almost 8 has been this way since birth also. Always needing to have someone around, not liking to be alone. I didn't have any extra stress during pregnancy, his father and I were okay. But now he CONSTANTLY needs someone to interact with. Even if he's playing his game, he wants someone to watch him play if there's no two-player option.
It's exhausting because I'm a person that needs personal space and time more than anything. I'm hoping setting scheduled time aside for him will help.
I needed this! I had a hunch that my kids’ nap resistance on days that my husband returned to work (after he took a month off to take care of his mom’s death and affairs) was probably feeling unpredictable for them even though I do everything I do for our nap routine the same whether my husband is working from home or at his office. It does not help that I’m exhausted by the time nap time comes and it’s hard for me to stay calm or even hold a boundary. 😭
Aww so sorry to hear about your family's recent loss, Tiffany! So glad this video helped a bit! Sending you all my love!
My son is almost 3 still breastfeeding and cosleeping w mom. I've had to sleep in another room for almost his entire life. No attempt to potty train. No plans too ween him off the breast or out of our bed. Mom can't seem to understand why she can't even pee by herself without an emotional breakdown, baby screaming I need mommy, I need you, I neeeeeeeed you. No Daddy get away I need mommy. This codependency that his mother has fostered has ruined my relationship with my boy for nearly his entire infancy/toddler years. Years I will never get back. I have no jealousy or envy when it comes to a mother and son's bond. I could never replace that nor would I want to. However this is beyond the point of nurturing and has been unhealthy for a long time. She means well and in some ways is a great parent. She needs to learn the difference between being a mommy and a good mother who teaches a foundation for good behavior, manners, patience, cooperation etc. It's very hard and I always have to come in and look like the bad cop. I'd also like to be nurturing and affectionate but that has pretty much been taken away from me. My partner thinks she has the best of intentions but she's working against me. He sees it and therefore has no respect for me. I practically cry myself to sleep every night. I don't know how many years I have left because I have cancer. His mother doesn't place any value on the relationship she and I used to have or my individual relationship with my son. I just feel like an unwelcome guest and pray for death sooner than later most of the time
Perhaps his mom is clinging onto your son and behaving this way because she knows she’s going to lose you. It’ll just be him and her and she knows that. I bet she’s struggling mentally too. I’m sorry about your struggles though…those are completely valid and it would break my heart too if I had cancer and my son didn’t want me around.
Would you ever consider including a dads perspective into your videos? I would love to learn more it just seems as if your videos are aimed at primarily moms which I don’t blame you cause of your channel name
I greatly appreciate videos like these because I grew up in chaotic home and I want to be a better mommy. Thank you ❤
Omg I’m going through this with my 3yr old son all he wants is me, mind you is father is a great dad and always looking for ways too comfort him when I need to go run some errands nothing works my son cry’s and cry’s… I’m getting so overwhelmed I cry at times I feel like I can’t do anything…
Hey has it got better ? Pls share
My 2yr old gets all the attention, I work from home and homeschool her, she gets interaction with other kids, we do soooooooooooo many stimulating activities such as painting, drawing, baking, good screen time you name it. I play with her, pretend to play with her, and stick to a very easy schedule. We cook together, bath together but still the second I go into the kitchen or go upstairs to fetch something she is already whining and crying as if she's about to die. I've tried everything I can but to no avail, she was colic as a baby, and ever since she hasn't stopped being a whiner. Do you have any advice, is it worth taking her to a child psychologist?
Same here... she is literally on me 24/7 and still crying all the time
Thank you for asking this!!! I would also love to know the answer to this question.
@@nataliyavolkodav320 omg I am not alone did anyone get help ? I am so exhausted
Following
Ahhh same lol
You always have the best sweaters! Where do you get them from?? Particularly this one. ☺️
Hahah, thanks so much. This one is from Kohls, actually! I love shopping at Target, Old Navy, & Amazon. :)
You took me back to history class with the hunters and gatherers lol
Thank you dr Jazmine for this information my daughter is very attached to me 😅 I realize I need to be more clear about my boundaries
Hahahaha back to history class!! 😂😂 so glad this was helpful mama.
Oh My God! I am so happy I found you! I was just up until 3am talking about this with my mommy friend. She's almost 7 and up to my shoulder and she yanks me around like a rag doll, hops all over me, and can never be close enough to me. I am going to try the tips (and watch the rest of your videos) TOMORROW!
Hello everyone. My wife fell on the black hole called “cellphone” her attention to our children specially my 3 year old is not there and is fading away. My toddler is really good with me when we’re home together, but when mom is around she changes her behavior and I know is because she wants mom’s attention unfortunately she doesn’t see it that way. I already mentioned to her but she doesn’t think that’s the reason why. It makes me feel sad because sometimes mom wants to be away from her or makes comments such as “ I need a vacation away from her “ I am firm, fair and playful with my child and she doesn’t act alike that with me. What can I do? 😔
Wow 🥰😍you’re amazing!!!! What a huge help you are and filled with wisdom and experience. Thank you so much!!!
Wow that does feel good on my body or here’s what we can do instead ❤
This was great. First time finding your channel. Love your energy.
I’m not sure what stage my daughter of clinginess but I really need HELP!!!!!!!!!!! whenever I’m trying to cook dinner or do some odd jobs with my mom because she does reupholstering for her business I work her on the side my daughter hysterically is crying by my feet and wants me to pick her up I said it’s because I’m not paying any attention to her when I give her things to play with and I keep reassuring her mommy is doing something right now just give me a few mins and I get down at her level and I tell her that done soon meanwhile I’m only about 5 mins in she’ll just keep crying ,crying I need help please help me!!!!!!!! I feel like I can never get anything done even with side work or at home!!!! PLEASE HELP !!!! My daughter is 18 months old!!!
How is she doing now ? Does she change ?
Hey has it got any better , pls share
Can you elaborate what a stage 4 clinger looks like?
Does being sick cause clinging? I am trying to diagnose this all of a sudden intense clinging. Your point about unpredictability was key to me. Thank you!
Yes, definitely.
Teeth is possible to if they’re coming in
I found a gem here! Thank you UA-cam gods! You are amazing! FUNNY OUTGOING ON POINT! I love your energy! Xx. Hypes me up! Xx
What an new insight. We were hunters and if u stay close to mom u will be safe. If u understand that and knowing ur child has a difficulty start (premature at hospital) than it's less annoying when that happens. The child hopelely than is more relaxed if u are relaxed.
That was the best explanation and explaining I have ever heard and it made so much sense and I've been convicted thank you so much I am now subscriber
I joke all the time with my family that my daughter is my stage 5 clinger. Lol. So funny you mentioned it in the same way.
I think i need to watch this video a few times.
Starts at 2:20
Thank you so much. My girlfriend & I are struggling with our 10 month old at the moment. Your video was reassuring. & some things just need reminded! So thank you! I will try some new approaches once she wakes up 😊
Much need message needed !! Thank you !!
I definitely googled this word for word and came across your channel
I love your videos they are so helpful! Thank you so much you changed my life!
I am a psychology student, currently working at a nursery/preschool and there's a 1 y/0 18 months girl who has become very attached to me. I know for sure she's experiencing anxiety. She will cry if I get away from her in the classroom, at lunch and everywhere else. Should I just give in to her behavior? Idk what to do
I have a stage 4 clinger it’s horrible ‼️I can’t do anything 😩I have another child to tend to I can’t do daily task ! This video Was very helpful I’m going to Binge watch all your videos now😊
Hey has it got any better, pls share
In a nanny for 1 year old and he has to be held or he screams not cries SCREAMS! And I can’t hold him and make brecky or anything so I try to let him cry for bit and sometimes he stops but if not I tell him in a soft voice you’re fine you’re okay and I tell him what I’m doing and say I’m sorry u can’t pick you up right now so an example sentence is “ I’m Sorry I can’t hold you right now, I’m making you breakfast because I care about your health, I can hold you for little bit after” sometimes it helps and when he stops crying then I pick him up but if starts crying and hitting me I don’t pick him up
My 2.5 year old loses his mind when I leave the room.. my SO thinks it’s because I held him too much as a baby/toddler., I need to put those boundaries in place - I need to be able to eat supper, clean and do dishes, etc. But the upset over me being in the room vs. Not seems to be because I’m always the one with him? I get up with the kids every morning, I drop them off at daycare - which is a breeze btw, they love our sitter and he’s NEVER been a pain at drop off!? - I actively play with the kids and give them attention.. and while my kids love to sit with daddy to watch tv (usually screen related I hate to say), they tend to want me and I think it’s because he doesn’t give them the same kind of attention. Either way, I need to dampen the clingyness 😫
I'm so glad I found this! I believe I have a stage 3 going to 4 clinger?? Shes 2 and half and is like my shadow in the house but come being outside she takes off lol pushes boundaries when I tell her to listen or stay with me by slowly walking away smiling and looking at me, she won't stop until I have to stop what I'm doing( shopping) and go get her. Shes really put a halt to mine and her dads privacy and free time, constantly checking on us and asking what we are doing 🥲 i haven't had me or time with my husband time in a while. I hope by putting this into practice helps us.
This is why her father ran off 😂
I hate being a mom it’s dreadful I’m drained
Can you please talk about why my child is repeating everything so many times back to back ???
As I’m thinking if the instances when my little one (5year old ) gets clingy. It’s always when there are other people around. When folks come to our home, when we go to others homes, when she goes to school (drop off time is heartbreaking ).
I have a 20 month old boy and 4 yr old boy and I struggle so much with giving my 4 yr old attention that he needs and he tends to act out negatively due to my 20 month old constantly wanting and needing my attention. I am a stay at home mom/wife and i don't know how to split my attention evenly with both boys and get meals and household work done, I'm struggling. Any advice??
How much attention? I’m constantly giving her attention but I do need to dishes and cook dinner and laundry and I do work 40 hours but we play all the time
Thank you!
You're welcome!🤎🤎
After hearing you talk, I’m so tempted to get your book “Let’s Talk Discipline but $45 is steep for us! Also I would LOVE a hard copy, do you offer those?
I totally understand this, Rebekah. At this time, audio and ebook are the only formats available. I hope to change that in the future, though. :)
What if you literally do all of these things and he’s still clingy?
Unrelated: this look is so cute. 💕
Helped a lot❤
I'm currently in a shelter and I can't get two seconds of peace she's 6 from 6am till 10pm she's on my back. If i go to the kitchen she's there the bathroom she's there the porch she's there. Shes always hungry I just feel like I can't give her enough. I have two other girls 11 and 5 they barely acknowledge I'm alive but this one literally wrapped around my leg.
Hey has it got any better pls share
This was helpful but also not helpful at all haha. My kiddo is 14months and he is GLUED to me. If screams every moment he is awake unless I am standing up and holding him. Even just playing on the floor with him is not enough, he requires I hold him. It’s been like this since he was 8 months. He has a very consistent routine and environment, I give him attention every day but he is not old enough for me to be like “hey go sit over there” haha. I have even just let him scream for hours to not reward his behavior by picking him up and still no luck. I cannot even stand up without a complete meltdown for hours.
Hey has it got any better pls share
@@urvashichoudhary. he is now 2years and 4 months old. It got better in waves. He would get better for a few months and then go back to it. At this point I would say he is still attached to me but not like he was where I could not even stand up. I didn’t do anything different, him getting older just made him want to be more independent
@@honestreviewer5322 dealing in the same boat with my 2 year old. I hope it gets better soon
Mother Of a clingy tween here . They were the center of attention from birth so this made me think there would be secure attachment that would lead to more independence as they got older.
However, this is not that case , they like to use baby talk, are whiny about chores and seem like they want to be dotted over like when they were a toddler...If they don’t receive this constant attention they tend to guilt trip ...which as a single parent is the worst because We are trying to provide the love of two parents!
Is there any advice on how to manage this for older children ? What to do with a child who seems like they can never get enough attention?
Thank u for sharing
Hi.. My son is the same.. He is 1.7 yrs old and always stays with me.. Crys his lungs out if i leave the room or if some one else picks him up.. Though everyone is ready to play with him he is not interested. My Paedetrician said its a sign of hyperactive kids. Is that true? Can a hyperactive baby be clingy??
so glad I stumbled across you and your channel. so my son is a massive stage 4 clinger he is 3. if I leave the room or go out of sight for even a second he loses his mind. he also won't let his dad do anything!!!!! I have to do everything for him which is taking a toll as I also have a baby girl who is 10 months old. I know this must be because of the baby but what can I do I end up doing everything for him and more because I don't want him to feel left out or upset but im getting to breaking point. what can I do to help this ?
Did u get through this ?
Has it got any better pls share
I follow you on IG and love you!
Aww thank you for watching and supporting Karen! 🤎
Question: How to deal with kids that are clingy to others (like they “have a crush on her”)?
Hopefully you still look at these comments ( a year after making this video)
My 17 month old and her obsession with my boobs and more specifically my nipples is the most intense struggle and I set a boundary on it for 90 minutes the other day and thought I found the bottom of her emotion she finally fell asleep while breastfeeding not poking but when she woke up wouldn’t come near me and acted betrayed and traumatized for about an hour so I guess to avoid that I am now hoping she will just get bored of them eventually idk 😅 loved the info I tried to give her other options like cuddle up through my shirt but no- there must be contact other than that she’s incredibly independent enjoys other people and kids and her dad and family. Other than the booby clinging obsession and I cannot find info on this specifically. I get the impression it’s a primal connection thing.
I love this list! I've been working on all of these things with both of my super clingy kids!
Tips starts at 2:43
I have two year old boy/girl twins and my daughter is 10x clingier than my son. One instance of clinginess I don’t really understand is when we’re leaving the park there aren’t tantrums or complaining, but my daughter usually wants to be carried to the car. If we attempt to put her down and hold her hand for her to walk it turns into a huge meltdown from her. This park is one we frequent often and usually we’re the only ones there, so I don’t imagine she feels insecure or unsafe. I’d love any tips on how to navigate this!
Hey has it got any better pls share
Do you have any advice when 4 year old starts swearing (heard from adults using swearing words)?
Great question. I'll add this to my list of video ideas.
So my friend she has a 2yr old boy. She doesn’t have a good sleep schedule for him/ he wakes up n falls back to sleep in her bed 🛏... and ANY time I’m with them if I’m not actively connecting with him. He will n his ALL over mom. My friend. He’ll want her to get him a drink or something. But will FREAK if she leaves the room. HAS to be held a lot. More so as the day winds down. When I babysit he’s done with bath time by 7.15 and mom picks him up at 8pm won’t go to bed till 10/11pm talk about a nightmare. I’d love some advice.
My baby is clingy when other people are around and no one can touch him. Or else he is fine being left alone sometimes when we are home alone together.
An update, my baby is 10 months now and he has gotten a lot better. I shower him with a lot of love and attention and lately he is starting to smile at other people. It gets better plus I always take him out for a walk so maybe exposing him to nature and being outdoorsy helps.
This may be an absurd question but HOW MUCH attention am i supposed to be giving???? Every moment of the day??? I feel guilty for wanting time for myself and my own hobbies. Am i evil for wanting more than a couple of minutes to myself??? More than just the bare minimum amount of time to do basic hygiene and chores (cooking/cleaning). Am i allowed to want my own time??? On top of the away time thats spent up doing chores. Why must i always feel guilty for that.
what about babies? My daughter is just turning 1 and is constantly attached to my leg. I was thinking maybe it is normal for this age to have separation anxiety? Even if I'm just going to the next room 🤨
My 1 year old will cry when she sees me until I pick her up…. If I’m not around she’s totally fine and playing with her brother or daddy…
My question is my child she’s 4 soon. And she’s gets played with for hours engaging for hours with her and she won’t let me or my mom go to the toilet even. Even if we look away for 1 second it’s like the world has ended for her. She demanded this kind of attention since she was little little. How to approach this
@2:21 - Video starts at 2:21. no need to thank me guys
I wish people just got straight to the point instead of these long dragged out intros. Im sure plenty of people just skip the video bc its just too much intro talk! please just say your hellos and get to the point please.
This was very helpful! We have 7 children, and the last two are boys which have been very different! The youngest has been difficult!! So this will help.
If you are interested we would love for you to join us as a guest on our podcast. If that's something you are interested in you can reach us at acts2and42@gmail.com. Thanks again!
Starts at 2:44