Parental Favorites: What to Do When Your Child Only Wants One Parent

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  • Опубліковано 26 сер 2024
  • Parental Favorites: What to Do When Your Child Only Wants One Parent
    Young children are incredibly honest/blunt about what they want, they’re wildly impulsive and self focused which means it’s incredibly common for them to play favorites.
    In this video, I break down more common reasons why they pick favorites and most importantly, tips for in the moment.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 40

  • @BuNNY-st9wf
    @BuNNY-st9wf 2 роки тому +20

    For all 3 years I'm the rejected one but I give it everything and am there the most, after all that still am the least wanted. It eventually breaks you no matter what.

  • @nurfarahainsaid
    @nurfarahainsaid 3 місяці тому +3

    I was always unloved and rejected so when i got pregnant i felt like finally i will be able to feel unconditional love where the baby will think i am his whole world. Turns out i am also unfavored by my own baby. Its so sad and hurtful.

  • @BeckywiseTheDancingClown
    @BeckywiseTheDancingClown 3 роки тому +4

    My kid goes between wanting mummy more and daddy more. We didn't have the best relationship with our own parents so we are happy for each other when she gravitates toward one or the other ❤️

  • @elsalundy4815
    @elsalundy4815 3 роки тому +12

    Thank you! How should I specifically respond when I am with my 3yo trying to help them get dressed/brush teeth/get in the bath - and they demand their father instead of me? Do I simply say "ok let me get him" if he's available (which he usually is) -- but I feel weird just "giving in". I understand trying not to take it personally, does that mean complying every time if he asks for the other parent? Let him dictate who does what every time? I don't know how to set this boundary without getting into the power struggle lose-lose you describe - Do I let go and let him rule the roost? Thank you!

    • @devthings
      @devthings Рік тому

      I’d love to see a response to this. Have the same question

  • @toailoa23
    @toailoa23 3 роки тому +9

    Thank you for opening up my mind to view things in a different perspective I often get upset inside when my kids chose there mother over me but now I understand and feel a lot better about handling it in the future !

    • @TheMomPsychologist
      @TheMomPsychologist  3 роки тому

      Aww so glad this video was helpful! Thanks for watching :)

  • @Salvador_is_my_king___..
    @Salvador_is_my_king___.. Рік тому +4

    What's heartbreaking is I'm going through this with a month old and he prefers his dad more he feels a lot safer with him dad it just hurts so much because I carried my son for 9 months took care of him for a whole month my husband was always busy and always working and almost didn't have time for him I feel so damn hurt and so damn rejected im literally in tears right now 💔 I legit wanted a son who would be attached to me

    • @jinjin3702
      @jinjin3702 Рік тому +1

      i know how you feel.. my 2 month old son is also attached to my husband. im the primary caregiver but he doesnt like me to carry him. he cries for an hour. but when his dad picks him up from me, he stops crying. it really hurts i cry every time he does that. 2 month old is still to early for attachment😢

    • @Salvador_is_my_king___..
      @Salvador_is_my_king___.. Рік тому

      @@jinjin3702 😞 the same thing happens to me

    • @Salvador_is_my_king___..
      @Salvador_is_my_king___.. Рік тому

      @@jinjin3702 I am so sorry you are going through that it actually hurts like hell what we want is the best for our children and our children to know they can feel safe and secure with us and they can trust us and look up to us but I guess as time goes by they will understand that

    • @Salvador_is_my_king___..
      @Salvador_is_my_king___.. Рік тому

      @@jinjin3702 may I ask you when you had your baby

  • @nkruege
    @nkruege 3 роки тому +7

    I am literally going through this right now & absolutely needed this! Thank you Dr Jasmine.

  • @toubawarsi2674
    @toubawarsi2674 3 роки тому +5

    Definitely interested in another video about attachment theory!

  • @gracejohnson2842
    @gracejohnson2842 3 роки тому +4

    Thank you Dr Jasmine. That was a very helpful video. Im the non favourite parent (mumma) infact I come 3rd in the list, daddy, grandma and then me. You've give me some useful things to think about.

  • @paolaa-h6730
    @paolaa-h6730 3 роки тому +3

    Thank you Dr. Jasmine. Could you do a video on what the current data is on crying it out from a psychological standpoint? There seems to be so much different information on the internet.

  • @noellebatista3896
    @noellebatista3896 7 місяців тому

    Watching this just bawling my eyes out. The mom guilt is so real. She’s even started hitting me and telling me NO, when I even just approach her. I do my best, I work so hard, work from home so I can always be around her and get up from my chair when she calls for me. But yet she prefers my husband bc he’s the more fun one, I guess. He has more energy and more free time alone with her. Hope to get some insights and feel less guilt after this video.

  • @stephanieoropeza4005
    @stephanieoropeza4005 3 роки тому +2

    sooo helpful! thank you for this video Dr.Jazmine!

  • @marynzd6215
    @marynzd6215 3 роки тому +2

    Thank you, that’s really helpful

  • @daniellerojas8572
    @daniellerojas8572 3 роки тому +2

    Yes attachment video please

  • @maggiestevenson2323
    @maggiestevenson2323 2 роки тому +3

    As the parent being favored in the moment, how do we support our spouse or generally inform our child it's 'not nice' to say hurtful things like that? My son is 2.5 years old and sometimes on the way home we get excited talking about Daddy being home. We walk in the door and it's 'nooooooo daddy!' Which is hurtful, my husband can't even say hello without our son screaming no in our faces. What should I say as a response to that behavior? I don't want to feed into it and reinforce the behavior but I feel a need to let him know he's hurt someone's feelings. Thanks!

    • @alexb203
      @alexb203 2 роки тому +2

      I know this is an old post and old question, but I also could use some advice in this area. Was sad there was no response to this. I Would be very great full if you responded to Maggie’s questioned so I could learn as well!

  • @mirapatel1052
    @mirapatel1052 3 роки тому +1

    My question is - I’m currently a work from home mom (thanks COVID) and my hubby is the stay at home parent. Problem is my daughter wants me and sometimes I’m in a meeting. It’s becoming work disruptive. Thoughts?

  • @karmaleona2775
    @karmaleona2775 2 роки тому +1

    My heart is broken ...my son is preferring dad because his dad is letting him play videogames in the week and the house is where he started being raised. :(

  • @tyyachristie2440
    @tyyachristie2440 Рік тому +1

    What if it's a teenager

  • @FlappyBelly
    @FlappyBelly Місяць тому

    Where does unconditional love turn into enabling i.e. Mackenzie Shirilla?

  • @KatyCatLady
    @KatyCatLady Рік тому

    My 3 year old prefers me over my husband. My husband said he is sick of the disrespect. He said if our child doesn’t like him, he’s going to start taking his toys away to teach him a lesson. I told him I didn’t think this was a good idea. Thoughts?

    • @pinkypinky5127
      @pinkypinky5127 11 місяців тому

      Such a kid ( your husband) your kid may need quality time from your husband

  • @bandittweintraub
    @bandittweintraub Рік тому +2

    Yeah, @6:25 you're definitely high on something.. avoidance and tantrums are a sign of feeling comfortable? Lol. Yeah my kid screams bloody murder, kicks and punches anytime I interact with her, so that means she loves me?

  • @jasminetownsend630
    @jasminetownsend630 Рік тому

    What do you do when the other parent encourages the child to not want you (the mom) purposely so they can take them from you? What do you do when the other parent is constantly programming the child to prefer them over you as a strategy to have your kid not want you in the end. I do every for my child to keep them happy and thriving but it feels theres no point when im dealing with an immature parent they blocks anything i try with my child on purpose. And he has a whole team of people including other kids (my sons siblings on his dads side) that help this happen. Its the worst feeling i can describe but feels like ive lost my child.

  • @NewAgeGigolo
    @NewAgeGigolo Рік тому +1

    Well,...what about when the other parent is 'preferred' because they do NOT discipline the child but enable whatever they want. The 'unpreferred' is simply in that position because the other parent has no boundaries. My wife was raised in a cult away from her parents in India from age 6 to 18! She smothers our only child and I have to be the 'adult'. Guess who the child favors?

  • @jasminmontes257
    @jasminmontes257 2 роки тому

    Do you have an email address that I can reach you!

  • @TheMomPsychologist
    @TheMomPsychologist  3 роки тому +2

    POSITIVE PARENTING CHECKLISTS! These printable checklists are designed to help you through the most difficult moments, including tantrums, defiance, and risk taking. www.themompsychologist.com/bundle