Well, if parts don't predict who you're going to bed with, then one is not totally defined, I guess??? I just know people like neat little boundaries, and they like to force them on others... (Nonconsensually.)
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything...
Also gay people who keep hearing "just choose not to act in your gay impulses, look at me for example" from their mom or their dad, pastor or priest FEEL that's evidence that bi people are also part of the opressor class, it's just bitterness and envy at never being able to fit in. They are also bitter when bi people (eapecially guys) have sex with them but end in a relationship with the opposite sex. Because it FEELS like they were used. And it FEELS to gay people that they are settling for the opposite sex because it is easier and causes less danger to them, less loss of status, etc. So they hear "bisexuap heteroromantic", scoff and swear to never ever date/hook up with a guy that they FEEL is using an excuse to have his cake and eat it too without backlash from either the gay community (what did you expect young man, he is heterorantic of course he'd dump you, he never loved you, why'd you choose to date him?) or the straight community/heteronormative society (he is keeping on the DL, of course you can't tell anyone of your relationship, if he stays on the downlow or put gay stuff away in the past he can live a normal, happy, safer life if he really don't mind people think he is straight ornhe actually encourages it), even if the person only reveals he is heteroromantic after the hookup and dating which stings SO MUCH, the gay guy may FEEL the need to hate him and call that an excuse. This also doesn't justify anything
something i've seen that baffles me is when people say "she's only been with men even though she's bi, so she's a 'non-practicing' bisexual." it's sometimes played off as a joke but it's just more biphobic rhetoric
Yeahhhh, like when bisexuals made that joke at first it was kinda funny because there was an awareness that it was a joke….but then it left it’s target audience, per usual, and became less of a joke and more of a biphobic talking point 😐
For real. My stepsister is getting married next year to her male partner and I’ve heard her brother say that “oh, I guess her bisexual thing was just a phase.” Like no. That’s not how it works. She’s still bi, she’s just happy with her male partner.
@@kanjonojigoku8644 Lmao you clearly have zero experience if you think you can't have shared experiences queer people just because you haven't been in a relationship with someone who's the same gender as you. You've never belonged to a homophobic church or family that indoctrinated you to think it's sinful? Congratulations on having never had to grapple with your identity because of your community.
@@kanjonojigoku8644 And that's fine we don't owe anyone an explanation or proof them our sexuality nor do we have to have the same experience. Some of us have more experience with the same sex and some of us have more experience with the opposite sex. A common mistake is that just because we also like the opposite sex doesn't mean we don't feel any shame when we hear homophobic comments. We too are raised in this heteronormative society which demonizes queer people. I even think that most people, not all of course, are bisexual but are indoctrinated to be straight because of homophobia. That's could explain why many conservatives religious people think they are straight after conversion therapy or praying to sky daddy and the tooth fairy. They hink they're healed now, but in reality they are just suppressing their attraction To say that you need physical experience to be bi is silly and would exclude a lot of people who definitely aren't straight. Gay and straight teens for example have little to zero experience yet they still feel attraction toward the same sex. Aro/ace people too, many of them know that they don't feel sexual/romantic attraction, that's why they don't pursue it. Most straight people had never any experience with the same sex yet they know they are straight. Attraction doesn't equal action
as a bi girl who leans men (like 70/30) i feel the whole "oh so you're not really gay" thing A LOT. it feels like im walking on eggshells every time i say i think a man is pretty 😭
100%, attraction to men is a beautiful thing and I hate how bi women get crap for it like it's some unfortunate side-effect of bisexuality rather than a feature. They're wrong. You're a better part of this community than the people who try to exclude you ❤🏳️🌈
I relate to this a lot. I mention pretty ladies more than pretty men just to emphasize because it feels like no one believes me. I think it’s internalized a bit too tho
@@simbelmyne7767Also gay people who keep hearing "just choose not to act in your gay impulses, look at me for example" from their mom or their dad, pastor or priest FEEL that's evidence that bi people are also part of the opressor class, it's just bitterness and envy at never being able to fit in. They are also bitter when bi people (eapecially guys) have sex with them but end in a relationship with the opposite sex. Because it FEELS like they were used. And it FEELS to gay people that they are settling for the opposite sex because it is easier and causes less danger to them, less loss of status, etc. So they hear "bisexuap heteroromantic", scoff and swear to never ever date/hook up with a guy that they FEEL is using an excuse to have his cake and eat it too without backlash from either the gay community (what did you expect young man, he is heterorantic of course he'd dump you, he never loved you, why'd you choose to date him?) or the straight community/heteronormative society (he is keeping on the DL, of course you can't tell anyone of your relationship, if he stays on the downlow or put gay stuff away in the past he can live a normal, happy, safer life if he really don't mind people think he is straight ornhe actually encourages it), even if the person only reveals he is heteroromantic after the hookup and dating which stings SO MUCH, the gay guy may FEEL the need to hate him and call that an excuse. This also doesn't justify anything
I'm chronically online to like tumblr and goddamn quotev (I've been on there for .... too long) so i really don't see most of this thank god because I could not imagine seeing any of this and having to deal with ir
@@NicholasBlack More and more I feel like socmed is a vehicle to depression and nothing more. I have been away from all that for a long time now and every time I see someone so upset by others' opinions or drenched in this drama I remember why I "exited the community" as well (I am pan/enby). All this stuff is just so much negative energy, we really should be doing better for ourselves and leave the haters no matter what side of the fence they sit or straddle on to crumble to dust alone cause these kinds of ppl aren't worth anyone's time.
I had a woman (stranger) come up to me a few months ago at uni and say I was "lesbian baiting". I'm bi and I have a boyfriend, I haven't been with a woman for around 7 years. Anyway she said this because of the way I dress and present myself, which sure, is definitely on the far end of masculine. This is also just a very chronically online thing to say to someone irl but continuing on.. The idea that bisexual women can't be masculine is a shockingly common belief people have, I've been looking into it recently and it's everywhere. For some reason people exclusively associate bisexuality with femininity no matter the gender of the person, I have a whole theory on why this is but I'm not gonna blabber about it unless someone asks. The whole "Billie Eilish is too masculine to be straight/bi" thing and the "Billie is queerbaiting" thing that's been going around quite literally since she started her career as a **child** is a really good example of what I'm talking about. I'm even having issues posting my outfits on lgbtq+ community servers (I like fashion), because people make the quick assumption that I only like women purely based on the way I present myself, and then are shocked, sometimes even angry if I mention my bf later on. No idea if I've explained this very well my writing skills leave much to be desired
Sigh. I get this too. I had someone come up to me and say that I'm "appropriating lesbian aesthetics" because I wore a flannel while identifying as a trans man.
As an aroace, I also feel safest around multisexual people. Before I figured out that I'm aroace, I thought I was bi. Since realizing I'm aroace, I have noticed that aro/ace and multisexual folks are treated very similarly. Constant invalidation. Constantly hearing "are you sure?" or "you just haven't figured it out yet" or "you're straight passing and so you're not really oppressed or discriminated against".... yeah...
@@JustAHorrorShow I also feel safer around multisexual people in general. I guess our similar treatment leads to an easier time building sympathy for eachother.
@@average-neco-arc-enjoyer That's definitely a part of it. I also think that being left out or feeling unwelcome or misunderstood by monosexuals leaves us to naturally gravitate towards fellow aro/ace folks and multisexuals.
@@JustAHorrorShow I do agree with that. It seems like a mix of similar feelings/treatment and a desire to not be alone in our experiences which causes it. In any case I think us having a mutual sense of safety with multisexuals is a good thing.
Honestly I’m a huge “Let bisexuals men date women” defender as well as “Let bisexuals women date men” defender. I mean kit Connor was harassed into coming out of the closet because he (who played a bisexual character in his most popular role) held hands with a girl. I think this is just a general multisexual problem, not just with women (although it is very prominent in the case of women)
My biggest issue with the Kit Connor thing is the fact that people harassed him for playing a character who was bi, when he *allegedly* wasn't bi himself, but they have absolutely no problem with the fact that the story is about a m/m relationship, but the person who FUCKING WROTE IT isn't a gay man.
@@amazingspiderlad I mean if a men who's attracted to men wrote it, it would be better, but at the end it's not that important. The story was still a success and is one of the best non sexual stories written.
I always hate the ‘it invalidates REAL lesbians/gays’ argument. As a lesbian myself No it Freaking Doesn’t. Any gay person who says that someone else’s identity invalidates their own is either insecure about their sexuality or chronically online.
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
1) it's kinda veering into "gold star" lesbian/gay territory and is disgusting 2) as a mspec masc person myself who has used so many labels, the way people want to praise you when you identify as monosexual vs. how they shit their literal pants when you identify as mspec is literally so draining. not even mentioning the backlash you get for the act of changing the term you use to describe yourself... 3) great vid!
Eyy Tired Mspec Masc club 🤝 this is so real I hate it. Add in being genderfluid and I actually want nothing to do with online spaces a lot of the time lol send help
Changing labels, yeah I’m thinking a thing where I’m TECHNICALLY bi, but unless I’m on a bi-specific thing, I say “gay” (including as the blanket term) to emphasize my love of women, when talking about queer stuff
I can tell you as a bisexual man who is mostly into women that THE main thing that keeps me in the closet is the idea that “oh I’m just saying that for clout”. Yes, most of the time, I am just attracted to women, but I’ve had to many times where I’ve felt a way about a particular guy that I cannot explain with heterosexuality. Guys, idiots, people DO NOT come out as bi simply for clout. Being bi does not give you clout, and I sit here frustrated as I cannot talk about my bisexuality honestly because of people being idiots about this ICANT. “Too queer for the straights and too straight for the queers” welcome to multisexuality how’s your day mines terrible
what infuriates me is that comments and discourse like this are one of the main reasons its so hard for people to figure out they identify as bisexual/multi-sexual until later in their life, it's just a continuous cycle of absolute tomfoolery. If you told younger me we're still having bisexual discourse in 2023 I would explode
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
@@theceoofeggmansempire5214Also gay people who keep hearing "just choose not to act in your gay impulses, look at me for example" from their mom or their dad, pastor or priest FEEL that's evidence that bi people are also part of the opressor class, it's just bitterness and envy at never being able to fit in. They are also bitter when bi people (eapecially guys) have sex with them but end in a relationship with the opposite sex. Because it FEELS like they were used. And it FEELS to gay people that they are settling for the opposite sex because it is easier and causes less danger to them, less loss of status, etc. So they hear "bisexuap heteroromantic", scoff and swear to never ever date/hook up with a guy that they FEEL is using an excuse to have his cake and eat it too without backlash from either the gay community (what did you expect young man, he is heterorantic of course he'd dump you, he never loved you, why'd you choose to date him?) or the straight community/heteronormative society (he is keeping on the DL, of course you can't tell anyone of your relationship, if he stays on the downlow or put gay stuff away in the past he can live a normal, happy, safer life if he really don't mind people think he is straight ornhe actually encourages it), even if the person only reveals he is heteroromantic after the hookup and dating which stings SO MUCH, the gay guy may FEEL the need to hate him and call that an excuse. This also doesn't justify anything
I'm honestly not too surprised... But honestly... Wattpad is probably even WORSE. Because they get mad when I say I'm bisexual and I don’t give a damn about gender, they say NO YOU'RE PAN mfer I was pan for YEARS, from 11 to about 15.. I think I'd know if I'm pan or bi.
@@NicholasBlack less so discourse and more so... If you SAY you're bisexual without a preference.. all the pansexuals, ombisexuals, bisexuals with a preference or only like 2 genders, and every other sexuality will come after you. I ran a discourse account on there for posting sources... At this point I log on every one in a blue moon to shit post
Actually if you don't mind me asking, what's the difference to you?? I used to identify as pan for a very brief moment of time (it was like. bi -> pan -> bi again? -> gay -> biromantic and gay) and tbh it was the deciding factor that gender does in fact matter to me as I'm not sexually attracted to women so it's interesting to see that someone that does identify as bi says that gender doesn't matter No pressure to answer, I'm just curious :D
@@CynningSeline for me, bisexuality is a mix, it's anything! For some, sexuality DOES matter, some have a preference, some fluctuate, door have 0 preference at all. Bisexuality is fluid and complex, personally I don't have a preference but I TEND to crush on guys more than girls. Saying pansexuals care about personality is insinuating that the only way to care for personality is by being pan, it insinuates bisexuals see you only for your genitals, in insinuates other sexualities are shallow when they aren't, and I wish people would realize that.
“monosexual is a slur” has the same vibe as “cis is a slur” but i am not expecting the homosexuals to not also be transphobic on top of the multiphobia
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
this wave of discourse thankfully didnt seem to make it to tumblr(or it did and i missed it entirely) but its always bothered me how people so quickly jump to this "malicious/evil bisexual" stereotype where the worst is always assumed. these people are talking about her like she maliciously planned to falsely identify as a lesbian when she was a teenager to get views and money years later and trick lesbians when she just... thought she was a lesbian and didnt like men and realized later that she was wrong also i hate the parasocial thing people get where they look at others online as characters that are supposed to cater to them and represent them. the people you see online are other humans with a screen like you and will change and grow over time _like you_
This is why Tumblr is the supreme hellsite (affectionate). No matter how chatty those cornbots get and how hard they try to push Tumblr live, I find it's easier to elect my own content than most of the other platforms.
It's more like it moved from Tumblr to places popular among teenage crowd. Most of it word for word sounds like Tumblr posts circa 2014-2018. Bunch of chronically online teens gatekeeping things you cant gatekeep. At least I hope it's teens, cause adults doing this shit sounds nightmarish.
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
@ville__ Gay people who keep hearing "just choose not to act in your gay impulses, look at me for example" from their mom or their dad, pastor or priest FEEL that's evidence that bi people are also part of the opressor class, it's just bitterness and envy at never being able to fit in. They are also bitter when bi people (eapecially guys) have sex with them but end in a relationship with the opposite sex. Because it FEELS like they were used. And it FEELS to gay people that they are settling for the opposite sex because it is easier and causes less danger to them, less loss of status, etc. So they hear "bisexuap heteroromantic", scoff and swear to never ever date/hook up with a guy that they FEEL is using an excuse to have his cake and eat it too without backlash from either the gay community (what did you expect young man, he is heterorantic of course he'd dump you, he never loved you, why'd you choose to date him?) or the straight community/heteronormative society (he is keeping on the DL, of course you can't tell anyone of your relationship, if he stays on the downlow or put gay stuff away in the past he can live a normal, happy, safer life if he really don't mind people think he is straight ornhe actually encourages it), even if the person only reveals he is heteroromantic after the hookup and dating which stings SO MUCH, the gay guy may FEEL the need to hate him and call that an excuse. This also doesn't justify anything. But as you all can see from this guy's comments it definetly happens and is sometimes due to Homophobic or Closeted Bisexuals
As a bisexual woman with a boyfriend, I am not kidding when I say that biphobic discourse like this ruined my life for a few years. I had people telling me that I *must* be a lesbian who suffers from comphet, and that I was faking my attraction to my boyfriend, which made me so anxious that it messed with my physical health. I'm doing a lot better now, I don't engage with sexuality discourse anymore, and I am still happily with my boyfriend- celebrating five years this year xxx
I feel like the hate towards bisexual women having boyfriends also kinda stems from how much people, especially straight men, love to fetishize lesbian/sapphic relationships, and now that the person they saw as their bisexual doll isn't in a sapphic relationship anymore, they can't fetishize them.
this isn't true. at all. It's mostly some queer women that get mad at bisexual women for dating men, so they aren't fetishizing sapphic relationships (like what? that doesn't even make sense). It's the fact that they believe the bisexual women was faking it and they actually just like men, so they were "baiting" them.
I've also seen people take this in a different direction- claiming bisexual women who date men are hurting lesbians because they contribute to the idea of women being into women in order to attract men, furthering the fetishization, which encourages straight men to hit on lesbians. I mean none of that makes sense, because that kind of straight dude would be an ass anyway, but I have seen people claim that.
i'm a bi woman with a bf (literally the only relationship I have ever had still), and this is soooo disheartening and infuriating. all this does is increase the already disproportionate rates of depression and anxiety in the bi community and is just so hateful
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
In middle school i came out to my mom as a lesbian bc I didn't know what bisexual was and had only had crushes on girls for as long as i could really remember. My ma pointed out that I'd had a crush on a guy in like first grade and i was stumped for awhile. Turns out people's understandings of themselves and the world around them changes over time, and people change the labels they use to reflect that, really shouldnt be that big of a deal for people to learn more about themselves and feel comfortable being themselves. Took even longer to learn what trans was and give another label overhaul. Nowdays I find most labels too constricting for me, I'm just myself. I hang out in generally queer spaces instead of strictly x y z spaces bc its just easier to exist as myself in them. It's kinda exhausting when people expect others to never change and always follow the exact same path that they did, people's brains and experiences are all different and thats (mostly) a good thing. Idrk just wanted to comment bc the people that act like the identity of people they dont even know exists solely to spite them are annoying, and i empathize with the frustration/annoyance.
Fr I thought I was bi when I was 14 until a year afterwards I realized I’m just aro/ace spec. I hate how when people find out they’re whatever orientation they are, to others it MUST mean they’ve always been that way. You could find out all your crushes since 5 years old could’ve actually been squishes your whole life or you could all of a sudden catch feelings for any woman you see despite having them only for men prior to that. Even when our orientations do change it’s always a win to some smug nosy chronically online brat going all “teehee see I told you so” like it happened for their ego boost and not cause *some* peoples brains just change like that.
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
My god, I feel like online queer discourse (or discourse™ in general really) is just perpetually in a cycle, doomed to be repeated over and over. Like, hearing the monosexual and allosexual being 'slurs' thing at the end sent me against my will back in time to all the other times where these exact same things have been argued for no real reason. Let's all just touch some grass, please.
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
We've all heard of comphet now get ready for comphomo Seriously, though, I went through a similar journey. I thought I was a lesbian for AGES and only after therapy did I come to the realization that I was actually bisexual. There's things in the way of self-discovery sometimes. Trauma, the Patriarchy, the insistence of a gender binary, etc.
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
3:55 This was my overall experience as well, as a bi woman who happened to fall in love and who's now engaged to a man. I barely ever use the term to describe myself anymore, because I felt like the day I chose to declare the love for my fiancé was the day I was shunned by the community. I felt weirdly "othered" (for lack of a better word) and like I suddenly didn't belong there anymore. So much for being open and understanding, whenever there's only just so much a hint of bi man + bi woman (gasp!) the whole thing goes down the toilet very quickly. Where I thought I had found people who understood the struggles of coming to terms with one's sexuality, there was suddenly only spite. People acting like I betrayed them. Like... I'm still me, wtf is your problem? Edit: typos
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
As a lesbian who has been relistening to a fever you can’t sweat out a lot recently; I for one won’t stand for this, if the scene were a parish you’d all be condemned.
As a lesbian who used to identify as bi (I was with a man who was very abusive for almost 4 years mostly to please religious family), the biphobia in the world and invalidation of sapphic women who used to date men in the past definitely contributed to my resistance to coming out. Biphobia hurts both parties. It doesn’t help anyone. I wish people who are chronically online would know that. Like. It even made me resistant to even leave my ex cus I thought I could never find a woman who would want to date me because of my past with him. It hurts everyone involved. The people in this video absolutely infuriate me.
3:05 Nicholas Black is "the biggest bisexual women." Or, just, "the biggest bisexual." Nicholas Black is the most bisexual. Nicholas Black is the King of Bisexuals.
For me, the victim blaming is always the worst part of this discourse. I genuinely can't stand the way they blame other queer people for the actions of the oppressors.
It is really interesting to see gay people attack both Trans and Bi/Pan people, because its like, so ironic. Bestie, you literally turned into the monster we swore to vanquish.
i’ve always had such an issue with people who act like “backtracking” your identity is a bad thing. when you distance yourself from being cis and/or straight, lgbt ppl will celebrate you for living your truth but the second your personal truth is something that brings you closer to being cis and/or straight again (i.e. lesbian realizes she’s mspec, transman realizes he’s actually just nonbinary, etc) ppl in the community are always up in arms about it. we have too much of a problem with seeing phases as an inherent bad thing. not everyone reaches a 6 on the kinsey scale and stays there for the rest of their lives and there shouldn’t be any shame in that.
i dont think we should hate on people "backtracking" their identity either. people take time to figure themselves out, thats fine. but there is no reason to "celebrate," as you say it, for someone finding out they are fine with having relationships with the opposite sex, what all of society already celebrates, compared to gay relationships, which are not viewed positively by society at large and often discouraged. same with identifying as cis and/or being gender conforming, compared to trans and/or gnc.
I'm not sure exactly how to say what I wanna say here, but I want to try and maybe find a better way to phrase it. The way it feels like some of these folks are phrases that almost mirror things that homophobes will say about any queer person terrifies me tbh. This kinda happened at 7:30 (in reference to comphet). And some other comment literally said "now that you found the right man" like that phrase hasn't been said to damn near every queer woman who's out of the closet. And the idea that the lgbtq+ community will use the same logic of the people who hate us against one another is scary. Idk if that makes any sense but I wanted to get my thoughts out of my brain. If any of y'all think of a better way to say this, pls tell me.
Honestly at this point I don’t tell people my sexuality anymore. Not worth the aggravation, its sad but true. To be blunt. My relationship at that current moment doesn’t determine my sexuality 🤷🏻♀️
I honestly just can’t fathom why people care so goddamn much. I empathize with you guys as my asexual identity is also constantly invalidated. But even then it’s not this bad sometimes.
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
I thought biphobia died down around 2020??? (Not in a "biphobia no longer exists/isn't a problem anymore" way, in a "I thought the smart people already figured it out" way) got I hate the community sometimes... tho tbh I really shouldn't be surprised at this point considering I'm also a non-binary masc afab person and I'm still scared to say I like men/masc people in a gay way (I'm biro and ace) and women/femme people in a less gay but not quite straight way bc I fear the transphobes and nbphobes would come for me 🧍
Damn, how can you even feel like your identity is invalidated whenever someone else changes their labels? Their identity is not yours, so be more secure about who you are.
@ville__ That's a random thing to say? No, it's usually not. But even if it was a choice, who cares? (Know that if you say anything bigoted, I won't ever reply back, so...go ahead and waste your meaningless time if you'd so choose.)
As an aroace person I don't see why allosexuals like to hate eachother; they all feel the same sexual attraction so what's the big deal? The only difference is that they feel it towards different genders. Also I don't really agree with 14:27 as I don't call myself monosexual because I don't feel sexual attraction, but I also don't call myself multisexual for the same reason. So I don't think it's good practice to lump everyone who isn't multisexual into the category of monosexual because monosexual implies one experiences sexual attraction which isn't true for everyone.
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
I literally just found out about this and like... HUH?! What in the fuck? All I want to do is play Baldur's Gate 3 with the boys and talk about the different companions. Wdym someone being bisexual is a personal attack??? I'm so glad I don't interact with this side of the internet and sticking to my own small space.
Bi here, I'm so sorry you had to witness the Horrors, but the years of your life you lost are zooming into my dessicated husk from the validation I get when you go off like this 😭 thanks bro I've been dying out here sometimes i feel crazy and then you upload and I'm like oh thank fk
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
@ville__As you all can clearly see from this comment: gay people who keep hearing "just choose not to act in your gay impulses, look at me for example" from their mom or their dad, pastor or priest FEEL that's evidence that bi people are also part of the opressor class, it's just bitterness and envy at never being able to fit in. They are also bitter when bi people (eapecially guys) have sex with them but end in a relationship with the opposite sex. Because it FEELS like they were used. And it FEELS to gay people that they are settling for the opposite sex because it is easier and causes less danger to them, less loss of status, etc. So they hear "bisexuap heteroromantic", scoff and swear to never ever date/hook up with a guy that they FEEL is using an excuse to have his cake and eat it too without backlash from either the gay community (what did you expect young man, he is heterorantic of course he'd dump you, he never loved you, why'd you choose to date him?) or the straight community/heteronormative society (he is keeping on the DL, of course you can't tell anyone of your relationship, if he stays on the downlow or put gay stuff away in the past he can live a normal, happy, safer life if he really don't mind people think he is straight ornhe actually encourages it), even if the person only reveals he is heteroromantic after the hookup and dating which stings SO MUCH, the gay guy may FEEL the need to hate him and call that an excuse. This also doesn't justify anything. Some of the persons harassing gay people are Homophobic pr Closeted bisexuals, saying 'Being gay is a choice, I feel gay impulses I don’t follow them" ,hus a big part of the hate
I know this is two months old but that tiktok video of Brittany Broski and Caleb joking about "Bisexual women and their boyfriends" bread THOUSANDS and I mean THOUSANDS of the most biphobic and bierasure of comments. It really ruined my day.
This kind of stuff also leaves no room for figuring out your sexuality over time or later in life or being confused. I have gone back and forth from identifying as gay or bisexual throughout myself cuz.. It's confusing!!it took time to figure myself out... It doesn't happen right magically at puberty
Only social media I use is Twitter and I curate my feed so heavily to keep from seeing queer folk cannibalizing each other and I STILL see bi ppl get told these awful things and them having to make public posts telling people to fuck off, even gay furry twitter gets so damn bad sometimes istg 🤢
My brain is not functioning enough right now for me to leave a more substantial comment, so I’ll just say I really appreciate you making this video - and you in general!
I’m a bi woman and I just want to say that this rhetoric/discourse/harassment from the LGBT community does harm bi people. It’s harmed me. It’s stressful to feel like at all times you have to prove to a hoard of strangers that you actually feel the way you do and fight off accusations that you’re a malicious straight person queerbaiting for attention or a confused gay person giving into heteronormativity. This shit made it harder for me to realize I was bi and come out. I was scared I was that evil straight person breaking into the LGBT community or that I’d be seen that way. And I went back and forth wondering if I was actually a lesbian just because I’m more attracted to women and somehow that made me feel like “not a real bi”. I was really feeling pressure to pick a side. We need to stop putting that pressure on bi people. If a bi person isn’t “practicing homosexuality”, they’re still bi. If a bi person is with a person of the opposite sex, they’re bi. If a bi person is with a person of the same sex, they’re bi. If a bi person is with a non-binary person, they’re bi. If a person is into men and women, they’re bi. Shut up.
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
how tf is it a personal attack on random internet strangers to realize that you're bisexual 😭 it costs you exactly 0 dollars to simply let people live their lives 🥰
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
As a bisexual woman, this is very disheartening lol. Queerness is all about not fitting into a box but these people are creating entirely new boxes to shove people in.
I did not know about this recent bout of discourse due to my willingly living under a rock to avoid civilization and honestly just hearing about all this makes me think that the rock is indeed a better place to hang out. Why do people just want to attack everyone. This is stupid.
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
I don't understand any person who gets their panties in a bunch over someone else's preferences, like somehow their existence invalidates theirs so they have to invalidate them. People like that need to get a grip, check their ego and learn to validate themselves. I'm bi, with a preference for men, and I just stopped sharing this about me with most people because I'm tired of people not being able to wrap their mind around the concept of sexual fluidity. Also "I am 4 seconds away from gathering a bunch of mice and releasing them into this persons home" made me cackle, thank you for providing some good laughs, I needed it!
Your channel reminds me that aswell as there's hateful people with the reasoning capabilities of a grape, and negative empathy, there’s also still nice people out there, who care mostly about other people's happiness and confort in their own skin. In a way, your videos are a reminder that I'm still sane and that everything is going to be okay, specially this video, as a bisexual female presenting person with a boyfriend, made me feel a little bit more at peace knowing that these people's bitterness is not my fault. Thank you, and hope you’re doing well💖
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
I have this problem, most people don’t believe me that I’m bi and tell me i’m “lying to fit in with the trend” essentially erasing my experiences as a queer woman. My sister was friends with the crowd on twitter, and she told me i was a “fake bi”, she’s not friends with them anymore and doesn’t think that anymore, but that displays the harm this causes
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything...
@@wareforcoin5780Also gay people who keep hearing "just choose not to act in your gay impulses, look at me for example" from their mom or their dad, pastor or priest FEEL that's evidence that bi people are also part of the opressor class, it's just bitterness and envy at never being able to fit in. They are also bitter when bi people (eapecially guys) have sex with them but end in a relationship with the opposite sex. Because it FEELS like they were used. And it FEELS to gay people that they are settling for the opposite sex because it is easier and causes less danger to them, less loss of status, etc. So they hear "bisexuap heteroromantic", scoff and swear to never ever date/hook up with a guy that they FEEL is using an excuse to have his cake and eat it too without backlash from either the gay community (what did you expect young man, he is heterorantic of course he'd dump you, he never loved you, why'd you choose to date him?) or the straight community/heteronormative society (he is keeping on the DL, of course you can't tell anyone of your relationship, if he stays on the downlow or put gay stuff away in the past he can live a normal, happy, safer life if he really don't mind people think he is straight ornhe actually encourages it), even if the person only reveals he is heteroromantic after the hookup and dating which stings SO MUCH, the gay guy may FEEL the need to hate him and call that an excuse. This also doesn't justify anything. Some of the persons harassing gay people are Homophobic or Closeted bisexuals, saying 'Being gay is a choice, I feel gay impulses I don’t follow them" ,hus a big part of the hate
as someone who also also identified as lesbian for years before figuring out i was mspec i'm so glad i never saw this discourse whenever i was questioning myself
it's exhausting sometimes to not only face hate and invalidation from straight people but also your own community. the amount of times i or my bi freinds have been told we're "baiting", we're just experimenting, we're gonna cheat on them or are just straight because we like men, is actually ridiculous.
As soon as I came out as bi in 2020, I knew I'd have to be bi4bi bc I've been shoved back into the closet over and over by the lgbt community bc "if you like men, you can't like women," was a genuine thing commented on old posts and a sentiment carried through my 2010s when I had tried to come out before. This video just looks like how it's always been.
Hi lovely people, here with a little book recommendation: Ramona Blue is about a young girl who has identified as a lesbian for a while and throughput the book realizes, she is actually bisexual as she falls in love with a guy. It's very well written and yeah. Recommend it ^^
My journey was incredibly similar to this girl, I started identifying as bi around 15/16, shortly after I started identifying as a lesbian, then a couple years later it turned out I'm not even a woman but still was a lesbian (as in, non man loving non men), until about half a year ago maybe? When I started realizing I may be both bisexual, and on the ace spectrum. And honestly fearing these exact reactions made it more difficult for me to accept the bi label, I was scared that some monosexual people in my surroundings would do this exact bullshit. I was fighting myself over these labels because this internalized biphobia made me feel like I'm betraying lesbians by no longer identifying as one. Thank god I've never had a big audience online, so I was able to figure myself out in peace, far from the discourse
I had not seeing this going on, most I saw is some people being pissy about the Billie thing, but I've been lucky to not come across anything else. They just can't act right, can they?
God I'm so glad I'm not around this part of the internet. Then again, I somewhat avoid those areas on purpose, as I have only recently settled on using "queer" as my orientation label, due to labels in general being fucky when you have no sense of gender (agender) and romantic and sexual preferences that are different from each other.
I am bisexual. I've been out of the closet for awhile. I'm from the south. Two of my dearest friends are sapphic women who choose to date men more because of their families that they can't get away from right now. These takes are just bi erasure in a fancy coat. There are so many reasons multisexual people date and hookup the way they do and none of it is any more/less valid unless someone is actively being harmed. I really don't appreciate the oppression point seeking behavior. I wish my friends could be who they are. Rhetoric like this will only keep them in the closet.
Yes. It’s also worth noting that someone who likes both the opposite sex and the same sex will be more likely to date a person of the opposite sex simply because there are more straight people than gay people in the world. Like, a bisexual woman is often more likely to date a straight man than a queer woman because straight men are way more common than queer women
People need to learn to mind their own business. Or maybe they need to be re-taught what the fucking lgBt acronym stands for. To all the bisexual/multisexual folks out there I’m so sorry people treat you like this
It honestly made me really happy as a multisexual person who is not bisexual to be addressed in the intro as a part of this discussion. Thank you for that ❤❤ Edit: Also just realized that I’ve kind of been distancing myself from being multisexual, and that’s something I should unpack.
I guess I would also be one of the fake queers in their yeys since I did try many labels since I couldn't figure out which would suit me. And going from lesbian to bi was one of them.
I really needed this after coming to the realization I'm bisexual recently. I'd been out as a lesbian for quite some time. I immediately got labeled a "fake lesbian" by my (then) best friend who's a gay man. He continued to act petty about the whole thing for awhile. We ended up parting ways for other reasons, but it hurt.
people keep getting frustrated that I'm not on any of these websites but are they seeing this shit 💀 I'm this close to just tossing the whole internet out and going full old man who thinks bluetooth is going to kill him
I was on tumblr as a last branch of hope but I had to leave because the reblog bait guilt complex shit about palestine got SO bad and so widespread, glad I left when I did since friends are talking about pictures of dead kids getting spread around 😬
Thank you so much!! I feel seen! I am a bi woman who has a preference for men. I finally came out this year (I'm 22), I didn't want to be judged like these people or be "wrong about who I am", even tho Ive knew since I was like 14. these people make me overthink and make me feel like I'm not valid. I am afraid to tell anyone besides my family that Im bi because I don't want to deal with bi-phobia or people thinking I'm "not gay enough".
The biphobia in the lesbian community is CRAZYYY bro Ive always known what I was but my best friend was a lesbian till she was 23. She said she never liked men until she was 23 and thought being bi/pan wasn't real. Ik she was having a bit of an existential crisis but I felt really insulted that she basically had secretly thought my entire sexuality was bullshit for 12 years. I'm not even going to tell her im aromantic bc she probably won't believe me.
This woman has had almost the exact same experience as me: coming out as bi at 14, then lesbian shortly after, and now, at 23, have realised im bi after falling in love with a man. it's refreshing to hear her experience, and I feel less alone. I'm lucky that im not really present on social media online so everyone ive told, face to face, that im dating a man has been really supportive.
I had the exact same experience as the first girl, I identified as a lesbian for years before meeting my current bf. I've been very happy and glad I had this experience. Sexually is fluid. growth and change is good.
No cause I can genuiely relate to the first tiktok, I didn't have anyone attack because I went from lesbian to what would people consider Bi (I don't have a label just like everyone as I feel like my sexuality kinda leans towards both genders with more of a pref for men) but I will say as a former lesbian getting her first male crush (who became my current bf later) It was so confusing for me to figure out if my feelings were just the patarchy "making" me like men or if I had genuine feelings (obviously it was genuine) I didn't realize I had. Esp since I had trauma with men. It was hard for me to realize emotionally my feelings could change and sexuality was fluid and that I realized I didn't explore things about myself, and accepting it to realize its ok, esp after I had already come out. So I can't even imagine being made fun of for it online by other fellow LGBT+ people and esp sapphics when the point is to uplift other sapphics and wlw. Its just so strange to me to make fun of someone when our community is meant to uplift everyone no matter their journey to their identity and/or their sexual preferences. Im so glad were finally talking about this as I've seen this degrading of lesbians/wlw who ended up in some cases liking men or always liking men and women cause it needs to be talked about more.
As a bi woman who leans more towards women Its wild to me that bi people who like people of the same gender is seen as confised gays who use the label to escape homophobia or "non-practicing bisexuals" if they prefer people of different gender
The worst thing to me is that this nasty behaviour is often accompanied with memeing problematic people and somehow normalizing them. Like, you sure a bisexual woman dating a man, to you, is worse than a gay transphobic republican???
every time i hear about some sort of drama regarding bisexual folks being bisexuals n mspec folks i just feel. soooooo tired. like. what. whaaaaaat. whaaaaaaaaaaaaat.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
these people act like bisexual women are incapable of relating to sapphic experiences and it boggles my mind
Well, if parts don't predict who you're going to bed with, then one is not totally defined, I guess???
I just know people like neat little boundaries, and they like to force them on others...
(Nonconsensually.)
As someone who is bi, I enjoy not living on these parts of the internet
It’s been hellish this past month. I hope you haven’t been too deep in the trenches and that you’re ok 😔
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
Same here I feel like I'm living in crazy town😭
So, people are deranged on Xitter.
maybe get of the internet? hope that helps❤
We need to take away the word “queerbaiting” away from some people until they can understand what it actually means.
Amen
And maybe make the word an automatic ban on social media apps (looking at you, twitter) because real people can’t queerbait
the lgbt community when bi people have a preference for a gender thats not theur own: 😧
Love the pfp
Hell ive seen mfs call bi people cheaters when theyre into their own gender
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything...
Also gay people who keep hearing "just choose not to act in your gay impulses, look at me for example" from their mom or their dad, pastor or priest FEEL that's evidence that bi people are also part of the opressor class, it's just bitterness and envy at never being able to fit in. They are also bitter when bi people (eapecially guys) have sex with them but end in a relationship with the opposite sex. Because it FEELS like they were used. And it FEELS to gay people that they are settling for the opposite sex because it is easier and causes less danger to them, less loss of status, etc. So they hear "bisexuap heteroromantic", scoff and swear to never ever date/hook up with a guy that they FEEL is using an excuse to have his cake and eat it too without backlash from either the gay community (what did you expect young man, he is heterorantic of course he'd dump you, he never loved you, why'd you choose to date him?) or the straight community/heteronormative society (he is keeping on the DL, of course you can't tell anyone of your relationship, if he stays on the downlow or put gay stuff away in the past he can live a normal, happy, safer life if he really don't mind people think he is straight ornhe actually encourages it), even if the person only reveals he is heteroromantic after the hookup and dating which stings SO MUCH, the gay guy may FEEL the need to hate him and call that an excuse. This also doesn't justify anything
straights call us gay and gays call us straight
something i've seen that baffles me is when people say "she's only been with men even though she's bi, so she's a 'non-practicing' bisexual." it's sometimes played off as a joke but it's just more biphobic rhetoric
Yeahhhh, like when bisexuals made that joke at first it was kinda funny because there was an awareness that it was a joke….but then it left it’s target audience, per usual, and became less of a joke and more of a biphobic talking point 😐
For real. My stepsister is getting married next year to her male partner and I’ve heard her brother say that “oh, I guess her bisexual thing was just a phase.”
Like no. That’s not how it works. She’s still bi, she’s just happy with her male partner.
@@kanjonojigoku8644 Lmao you clearly have zero experience if you think you can't have shared experiences queer people just because you haven't been in a relationship with someone who's the same gender as you. You've never belonged to a homophobic church or family that indoctrinated you to think it's sinful? Congratulations on having never had to grapple with your identity because of your community.
@@kanjonojigoku8644 And that's fine we don't owe anyone an explanation or proof them our sexuality nor do we have to have the same experience.
Some of us have more experience with the same sex and some of us have more experience with the opposite sex.
A common mistake is that just because we also like the opposite sex doesn't mean we don't feel any shame when we hear homophobic comments. We too are raised in this heteronormative society which demonizes queer people.
I even think that most people, not all of course, are bisexual but are indoctrinated to be straight because of homophobia.
That's could explain why many conservatives religious people think they are straight after conversion therapy or praying to sky daddy and the tooth fairy.
They hink they're healed now,
but in reality they are just suppressing their attraction
To say that you need physical experience to be bi is silly and would exclude a lot of people who definitely aren't straight.
Gay and straight teens for example have little to zero experience yet they still feel attraction toward the same sex.
Aro/ace people too, many of them know that they don't feel sexual/romantic attraction, that's why they don't pursue it.
Most straight people had never any experience with the same sex yet they know they are straight.
Attraction doesn't equal action
I think you can only be “non-practicing” if you’re “off the market” /j
as a bi girl who leans men (like 70/30) i feel the whole "oh so you're not really gay" thing A LOT. it feels like im walking on eggshells every time i say i think a man is pretty 😭
100%, attraction to men is a beautiful thing and I hate how bi women get crap for it like it's some unfortunate side-effect of bisexuality rather than a feature. They're wrong. You're a better part of this community than the people who try to exclude you ❤🏳️🌈
I relate to this a lot. I mention pretty ladies more than pretty men just to emphasize because it feels like no one believes me. I think it’s internalized a bit too tho
@@simbelmyne7767Also gay people who keep hearing "just choose not to act in your gay impulses, look at me for example" from their mom or their dad, pastor or priest FEEL that's evidence that bi people are also part of the opressor class, it's just bitterness and envy at never being able to fit in. They are also bitter when bi people (eapecially guys) have sex with them but end in a relationship with the opposite sex. Because it FEELS like they were used. And it FEELS to gay people that they are settling for the opposite sex because it is easier and causes less danger to them, less loss of status, etc. So they hear "bisexuap heteroromantic", scoff and swear to never ever date/hook up with a guy that they FEEL is using an excuse to have his cake and eat it too without backlash from either the gay community (what did you expect young man, he is heterorantic of course he'd dump you, he never loved you, why'd you choose to date him?) or the straight community/heteronormative society (he is keeping on the DL, of course you can't tell anyone of your relationship, if he stays on the downlow or put gay stuff away in the past he can live a normal, happy, safer life if he really don't mind people think he is straight ornhe actually encourages it), even if the person only reveals he is heteroromantic after the hookup and dating which stings SO MUCH, the gay guy may FEEL the need to hate him and call that an excuse. This also doesn't justify anything
I relate to this
i love not being that chronically online because i had no idea any of this was happening 💀
same
God I wish this was me. Someday I will free myself from twitter (by someday I mean soon because I can’t take it anymore)
I'm chronically online to like tumblr and goddamn quotev (I've been on there for .... too long) so i really don't see most of this thank god because I could not imagine seeing any of this and having to deal with ir
i'm chronically online but i didn't have any idea this was going on, guess i'm hanging around the right people
@@NicholasBlack More and more I feel like socmed is a vehicle to depression and nothing more. I have been away from all that for a long time now and every time I see someone so upset by others' opinions or drenched in this drama I remember why I "exited the community" as well (I am pan/enby). All this stuff is just so much negative energy, we really should be doing better for ourselves and leave the haters no matter what side of the fence they sit or straddle on to crumble to dust alone cause these kinds of ppl aren't worth anyone's time.
why are they all acting like she knew she was bi the whole time and just decided to lie???? 😭😭😭😭
Easy answer. Insecurities or projecting lol
I had a woman (stranger) come up to me a few months ago at uni and say I was "lesbian baiting". I'm bi and I have a boyfriend, I haven't been with a woman for around 7 years.
Anyway she said this because of the way I dress and present myself, which sure, is definitely on the far end of masculine. This is also just a very chronically online thing to say to someone irl but continuing on..
The idea that bisexual women can't be masculine is a shockingly common belief people have, I've been looking into it recently and it's everywhere. For some reason people exclusively associate bisexuality with femininity no matter the gender of the person, I have a whole theory on why this is but I'm not gonna blabber about it unless someone asks. The whole "Billie Eilish is too masculine to be straight/bi" thing and the "Billie is queerbaiting" thing that's been going around quite literally since she started her career as a **child** is a really good example of what I'm talking about. I'm even having issues posting my outfits on lgbtq+ community servers (I like fashion), because people make the quick assumption that I only like women purely based on the way I present myself, and then are shocked, sometimes even angry if I mention my bf later on.
No idea if I've explained this very well my writing skills leave much to be desired
i think i get what you're saying here and i very much agree.
its so funny because if we're feminine we "look straight". we're just not supposed to exist i guess 🤷♀
I can’t fathom how someone could just walk up and say that to someone. Why does she care?
dude the way she said that to you as if you’re not a real human being with complexities and your own life…… girl wtf
Sigh. I get this too. I had someone come up to me and say that I'm "appropriating lesbian aesthetics" because I wore a flannel while identifying as a trans man.
At this point (as an omnisexual woman) the aro/ace community is the only one I feel safe around
As an aroace, I also feel safest around multisexual people. Before I figured out that I'm aroace, I thought I was bi. Since realizing I'm aroace, I have noticed that aro/ace and multisexual folks are treated very similarly. Constant invalidation. Constantly hearing "are you sure?" or "you just haven't figured it out yet" or "you're straight passing and so you're not really oppressed or discriminated against".... yeah...
@@JustAHorrorShow I also feel safer around multisexual people in general. I guess our similar treatment leads to an easier time building sympathy for eachother.
we know what it’s like to be excluded and harassed in lgbt circles lol. glad the community has been kind to you
@@average-neco-arc-enjoyer That's definitely a part of it. I also think that being left out or feeling unwelcome or misunderstood by monosexuals leaves us to naturally gravitate towards fellow aro/ace folks and multisexuals.
@@JustAHorrorShow I do agree with that. It seems like a mix of similar feelings/treatment and a desire to not be alone in our experiences which causes it. In any case I think us having a mutual sense of safety with multisexuals is a good thing.
Honestly I’m a huge “Let bisexuals men date women” defender as well as “Let bisexuals women date men” defender. I mean kit Connor was harassed into coming out of the closet because he (who played a bisexual character in his most popular role) held hands with a girl. I think this is just a general multisexual problem, not just with women (although it is very prominent in the case of women)
My biggest issue with the Kit Connor thing is the fact that people harassed him for playing a character who was bi, when he *allegedly* wasn't bi himself, but they have absolutely no problem with the fact that the story is about a m/m relationship, but the person who FUCKING WROTE IT isn't a gay man.
@@amazingspiderlad I mean if a men who's attracted to men wrote it, it would be better, but at the end it's not that important.
The story was still a success and is one of the best non sexual stories written.
@@Shaytan.666 That's beside the point. It's the double standard, they got mad over the actor not being bi but not the author not being mlm at all
@@Cali_Marie Again, I'm not saying that that's the problem, I'm pointing out the double standard.
@ville__ literally just read what I actually said
I always hate the ‘it invalidates REAL lesbians/gays’ argument. As a lesbian myself No it Freaking Doesn’t. Any gay person who says that someone else’s identity invalidates their own is either insecure about their sexuality or chronically online.
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
1) it's kinda veering into "gold star" lesbian/gay territory and is disgusting
2) as a mspec masc person myself who has used so many labels, the way people want to praise you when you identify as monosexual vs. how they shit their literal pants when you identify as mspec is literally so draining. not even mentioning the backlash you get for the act of changing the term you use to describe yourself...
3) great vid!
Eyy Tired Mspec Masc club 🤝 this is so real I hate it. Add in being genderfluid and I actually want nothing to do with online spaces a lot of the time lol send help
Changing labels, yeah I’m thinking a thing where I’m TECHNICALLY bi, but unless I’m on a bi-specific thing, I say “gay” (including as the blanket term) to emphasize my love of women, when talking about queer stuff
@ville__ what an incredibly weird thing to say
@@clairecosioits a bot, they do this on a bunch of channels
I can tell you as a bisexual man who is mostly into women that THE main thing that keeps me in the closet is the idea that “oh I’m just saying that for clout”. Yes, most of the time, I am just attracted to women, but I’ve had to many times where I’ve felt a way about a particular guy that I cannot explain with heterosexuality. Guys, idiots, people DO NOT come out as bi simply for clout. Being bi does not give you clout, and I sit here frustrated as I cannot talk about my bisexuality honestly because of people being idiots about this ICANT. “Too queer for the straights and too straight for the queers” welcome to multisexuality how’s your day mines terrible
“You were likely NOT at Stonewall” is the funniest, most ridiculous thing that shouldn’t have to be clarified LMFAO
what infuriates me is that comments and discourse like this are one of the main reasons its so hard for people to figure out they identify as bisexual/multi-sexual until later in their life, it's just a continuous cycle of absolute tomfoolery. If you told younger me we're still having bisexual discourse in 2023 I would explode
I identify as a bi, but i stay closeted for safety
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
@@theceoofeggmansempire5214Also gay people who keep hearing "just choose not to act in your gay impulses, look at me for example" from their mom or their dad, pastor or priest FEEL that's evidence that bi people are also part of the opressor class, it's just bitterness and envy at never being able to fit in. They are also bitter when bi people (eapecially guys) have sex with them but end in a relationship with the opposite sex. Because it FEELS like they were used. And it FEELS to gay people that they are settling for the opposite sex because it is easier and causes less danger to them, less loss of status, etc. So they hear "bisexuap heteroromantic", scoff and swear to never ever date/hook up with a guy that they FEEL is using an excuse to have his cake and eat it too without backlash from either the gay community (what did you expect young man, he is heterorantic of course he'd dump you, he never loved you, why'd you choose to date him?) or the straight community/heteronormative society (he is keeping on the DL, of course you can't tell anyone of your relationship, if he stays on the downlow or put gay stuff away in the past he can live a normal, happy, safer life if he really don't mind people think he is straight ornhe actually encourages it), even if the person only reveals he is heteroromantic after the hookup and dating which stings SO MUCH, the gay guy may FEEL the need to hate him and call that an excuse. This also doesn't justify anything
I'm honestly not too surprised... But honestly... Wattpad is probably even WORSE. Because they get mad when I say I'm bisexual and I don’t give a damn about gender, they say NO YOU'RE PAN
mfer I was pan for YEARS, from 11 to about 15.. I think I'd know if I'm pan or bi.
Today I learned that there’s Wattpad discourse. Currently shaking /j
But fr I just wish people would mind their business
@@NicholasBlack less so discourse and more so...
If you SAY you're bisexual without a preference.. all the pansexuals, ombisexuals, bisexuals with a preference or only like 2 genders, and every other sexuality will come after you.
I ran a discourse account on there for posting sources... At this point I log on every one in a blue moon to shit post
Oh wow you identify as bisexual instead of pansexual what a massive difference that takes
what the fuck goes on in wattpad nowadays
Actually if you don't mind me asking, what's the difference to you?? I used to identify as pan for a very brief moment of time (it was like. bi -> pan -> bi again? -> gay -> biromantic and gay) and tbh it was the deciding factor that gender does in fact matter to me as I'm not sexually attracted to women so it's interesting to see that someone that does identify as bi says that gender doesn't matter
No pressure to answer, I'm just curious :D
@@CynningSeline for me, bisexuality is a mix, it's anything! For some, sexuality DOES matter, some have a preference, some fluctuate, door have 0 preference at all. Bisexuality is fluid and complex, personally I don't have a preference but I TEND to crush on guys more than girls.
Saying pansexuals care about personality is insinuating that the only way to care for personality is by being pan, it insinuates bisexuals see you only for your genitals, in insinuates other sexualities are shallow when they aren't, and I wish people would realize that.
“monosexual is a slur” has the same vibe as “cis is a slur” but i am not expecting the homosexuals to not also be transphobic on top of the multiphobia
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
this + the panphobic discourse on tumblr like it’s all so cyclical and olddddd. like PLEASE can we do something USEFUL!!!
“You can like women and men but you can’t like mEn 🤪🤪”
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
I've been told, by people who claim to be pro-trans, that I'm not actually bisexual because my partners have only been trans-men... 💀💀
😃
"I am the biggest bisexual woman" i thought that sentence was gonna end there and I was gonna be like oh! Congrats!
NO BC I THOUGHT THE SAME THING
@@rottingraptor SPENCER REID PFP OMG
this wave of discourse thankfully didnt seem to make it to tumblr(or it did and i missed it entirely) but its always bothered me how people so quickly jump to this "malicious/evil bisexual" stereotype where the worst is always assumed. these people are talking about her like she maliciously planned to falsely identify as a lesbian when she was a teenager to get views and money years later and trick lesbians when she just... thought she was a lesbian and didnt like men and realized later that she was wrong
also i hate the parasocial thing people get where they look at others online as characters that are supposed to cater to them and represent them. the people you see online are other humans with a screen like you and will change and grow over time _like you_
@ville__ cope harder, blud
This is why Tumblr is the supreme hellsite (affectionate). No matter how chatty those cornbots get and how hard they try to push Tumblr live, I find it's easier to elect my own content than most of the other platforms.
It's more like it moved from Tumblr to places popular among teenage crowd.
Most of it word for word sounds like Tumblr posts circa 2014-2018. Bunch of chronically online teens gatekeeping things you cant gatekeep.
At least I hope it's teens, cause adults doing this shit sounds nightmarish.
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
@ville__ Gay people who keep hearing "just choose not to act in your gay impulses, look at me for example" from their mom or their dad, pastor or priest FEEL that's evidence that bi people are also part of the opressor class, it's just bitterness and envy at never being able to fit in. They are also bitter when bi people (eapecially guys) have sex with them but end in a relationship with the opposite sex. Because it FEELS like they were used. And it FEELS to gay people that they are settling for the opposite sex because it is easier and causes less danger to them, less loss of status, etc. So they hear "bisexuap heteroromantic", scoff and swear to never ever date/hook up with a guy that they FEEL is using an excuse to have his cake and eat it too without backlash from either the gay community (what did you expect young man, he is heterorantic of course he'd dump you, he never loved you, why'd you choose to date him?) or the straight community/heteronormative society (he is keeping on the DL, of course you can't tell anyone of your relationship, if he stays on the downlow or put gay stuff away in the past he can live a normal, happy, safer life if he really don't mind people think he is straight ornhe actually encourages it), even if the person only reveals he is heteroromantic after the hookup and dating which stings SO MUCH, the gay guy may FEEL the need to hate him and call that an excuse. This also doesn't justify anything.
But as you all can see from this guy's comments it definetly happens and is sometimes due to Homophobic or Closeted Bisexuals
As a bisexual woman with a boyfriend, I am not kidding when I say that biphobic discourse like this ruined my life for a few years. I had people telling me that I *must* be a lesbian who suffers from comphet, and that I was faking my attraction to my boyfriend, which made me so anxious that it messed with my physical health.
I'm doing a lot better now, I don't engage with sexuality discourse anymore, and I am still happily with my boyfriend- celebrating five years this year xxx
@ville__fuck you mean being gay is a choice??? How? When do you choose this?
I feel like the hate towards bisexual women having boyfriends also kinda stems from how much people, especially straight men, love to fetishize lesbian/sapphic relationships, and now that the person they saw as their bisexual doll isn't in a sapphic relationship anymore, they can't fetishize them.
Oh trust me, straight men fetishize bi women.
this isn't true. at all. It's mostly some queer women that get mad at bisexual women for dating men, so they aren't fetishizing sapphic relationships (like what? that doesn't even make sense). It's the fact that they believe the bisexual women was faking it and they actually just like men, so they were "baiting" them.
like, yeah... but they are still attacking innocent people over that idea, which, is bad
I've also seen people take this in a different direction- claiming bisexual women who date men are hurting lesbians because they contribute to the idea of women being into women in order to attract men, furthering the fetishization, which encourages straight men to hit on lesbians. I mean none of that makes sense, because that kind of straight dude would be an ass anyway, but I have seen people claim that.
@@TricksterModeEngaged Yeah, it's ridiculous. I really don't understand the hate for bisexuals.
i'm a bi woman with a bf (literally the only relationship I have ever had still), and this is soooo disheartening and infuriating. all this does is increase the already disproportionate rates of depression and anxiety in the bi community and is just so hateful
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
In middle school i came out to my mom as a lesbian bc I didn't know what bisexual was and had only had crushes on girls for as long as i could really remember. My ma pointed out that I'd had a crush on a guy in like first grade and i was stumped for awhile. Turns out people's understandings of themselves and the world around them changes over time, and people change the labels they use to reflect that, really shouldnt be that big of a deal for people to learn more about themselves and feel comfortable being themselves. Took even longer to learn what trans was and give another label overhaul. Nowdays I find most labels too constricting for me, I'm just myself. I hang out in generally queer spaces instead of strictly x y z spaces bc its just easier to exist as myself in them. It's kinda exhausting when people expect others to never change and always follow the exact same path that they did, people's brains and experiences are all different and thats (mostly) a good thing. Idrk just wanted to comment bc the people that act like the identity of people they dont even know exists solely to spite them are annoying, and i empathize with the frustration/annoyance.
Fr I thought I was bi when I was 14 until a year afterwards I realized I’m just aro/ace spec. I hate how when people find out they’re whatever orientation they are, to others it MUST mean they’ve always been that way. You could find out all your crushes since 5 years old could’ve actually been squishes your whole life or you could all of a sudden catch feelings for any woman you see despite having them only for men prior to that.
Even when our orientations do change it’s always a win to some smug nosy chronically online brat going all “teehee see I told you so” like it happened for their ego boost and not cause *some* peoples brains just change like that.
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
My god, I feel like online queer discourse (or discourse™ in general really) is just perpetually in a cycle, doomed to be repeated over and over. Like, hearing the monosexual and allosexual being 'slurs' thing at the end sent me against my will back in time to all the other times where these exact same things have been argued for no real reason. Let's all just touch some grass, please.
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
As an aroace I stand with Bi people when I say the gatekeeping in queer spaces is just horrific!!!💀
We've all heard of comphet now get ready for comphomo
Seriously, though, I went through a similar journey. I thought I was a lesbian for AGES and only after therapy did I come to the realization that I was actually bisexual. There's things in the way of self-discovery sometimes. Trauma, the Patriarchy, the insistence of a gender binary, etc.
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
this kind of discourse takes YEARS off my lifespan
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
3:55 This was my overall experience as well, as a bi woman who happened to fall in love and who's now engaged to a man. I barely ever use the term to describe myself anymore, because I felt like the day I chose to declare the love for my fiancé was the day I was shunned by the community. I felt weirdly "othered" (for lack of a better word) and like I suddenly didn't belong there anymore. So much for being open and understanding, whenever there's only just so much a hint of bi man + bi woman (gasp!) the whole thing goes down the toilet very quickly. Where I thought I had found people who understood the struggles of coming to terms with one's sexuality, there was suddenly only spite. People acting like I betrayed them. Like... I'm still me, wtf is your problem?
Edit: typos
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
As a lesbian who has been relistening to a fever you can’t sweat out a lot recently; I for one won’t stand for this, if the scene were a parish you’d all be condemned.
As a lesbian who used to identify as bi (I was with a man who was very abusive for almost 4 years mostly to please religious family), the biphobia in the world and invalidation of sapphic women who used to date men in the past definitely contributed to my resistance to coming out. Biphobia hurts both parties. It doesn’t help anyone. I wish people who are chronically online would know that. Like. It even made me resistant to even leave my ex cus I thought I could never find a woman who would want to date me because of my past with him. It hurts everyone involved. The people in this video absolutely infuriate me.
@ville__ get a life you have commented this lie multiple times.
3:05
Nicholas Black is "the biggest bisexual women."
Or, just, "the biggest bisexual." Nicholas Black is the most bisexual. Nicholas Black is the King of Bisexuals.
took me awhile to actually realize i was bi due to being fed chronically online lgbtq discourse when i was 14
i hate the internet 😭
"this is a person not a product" REAL
For me, the victim blaming is always the worst part of this discourse. I genuinely can't stand the way they blame other queer people for the actions of the oppressors.
Real. So sick of people using folks discovering their identity to justify their own biases.
It is really interesting to see gay people attack both Trans and Bi/Pan people, because its like, so ironic.
Bestie, you literally turned into the monster we swore to vanquish.
i’ve always had such an issue with people who act like “backtracking” your identity is a bad thing. when you distance yourself from being cis and/or straight, lgbt ppl will celebrate you for living your truth but the second your personal truth is something that brings you closer to being cis and/or straight again (i.e. lesbian realizes she’s mspec, transman realizes he’s actually just nonbinary, etc) ppl in the community are always up in arms about it. we have too much of a problem with seeing phases as an inherent bad thing. not everyone reaches a 6 on the kinsey scale and stays there for the rest of their lives and there shouldn’t be any shame in that.
i dont think we should hate on people "backtracking" their identity either. people take time to figure themselves out, thats fine. but there is no reason to "celebrate," as you say it, for someone finding out they are fine with having relationships with the opposite sex, what all of society already celebrates, compared to gay relationships, which are not viewed positively by society at large and often discouraged. same with identifying as cis and/or being gender conforming, compared to trans and/or gnc.
I'm not sure exactly how to say what I wanna say here, but I want to try and maybe find a better way to phrase it.
The way it feels like some of these folks are phrases that almost mirror things that homophobes will say about any queer person terrifies me tbh. This kinda happened at 7:30 (in reference to comphet). And some other comment literally said "now that you found the right man" like that phrase hasn't been said to damn near every queer woman who's out of the closet. And the idea that the lgbtq+ community will use the same logic of the people who hate us against one another is scary.
Idk if that makes any sense but I wanted to get my thoughts out of my brain. If any of y'all think of a better way to say this, pls tell me.
I've yet to witness biphobia that isn't just repackaged homophobia.
Honestly at this point I don’t tell people my sexuality anymore.
Not worth the aggravation, its sad but true.
To be blunt. My relationship at that current moment doesn’t determine my sexuality 🤷🏻♀️
I honestly just can’t fathom why people care so goddamn much. I empathize with you guys as my asexual identity is also constantly invalidated. But even then it’s not this bad sometimes.
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
I thought biphobia died down around 2020??? (Not in a "biphobia no longer exists/isn't a problem anymore" way, in a "I thought the smart people already figured it out" way) got I hate the community sometimes...
tho tbh I really shouldn't be surprised at this point considering I'm also a non-binary masc afab person and I'm still scared to say I like men/masc people in a gay way (I'm biro and ace) and women/femme people in a less gay but not quite straight way bc I fear the transphobes and nbphobes would come for me 🧍
Damn, how can you even feel like your identity is invalidated whenever someone else changes their labels? Their identity is not yours, so be more secure about who you are.
@ville__ That's a random thing to say? No, it's usually not. But even if it was a choice, who cares? (Know that if you say anything bigoted, I won't ever reply back, so...go ahead and waste your meaningless time if you'd so choose.)
As an aroace person I don't see why allosexuals like to hate eachother; they all feel the same sexual attraction so what's the big deal? The only difference is that they feel it towards different genders.
Also I don't really agree with 14:27 as I don't call myself monosexual because I don't feel sexual attraction, but I also don't call myself multisexual for the same reason. So I don't think it's good practice to lump everyone who isn't multisexual into the category of monosexual because monosexual implies one experiences sexual attraction which isn't true for everyone.
"Some of you do not have a PhD in being for real" 😭
I'm instantly stealing "I am going to release so many mice into your home" as an excellent threat, thank you.
Me: is bi,
Sees title,
Sees youtuber
Me:🙂🙃🙂
Edit: Your insults never fail to make me bust a lung
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
I literally just found out about this and like... HUH?! What in the fuck?
All I want to do is play Baldur's Gate 3 with the boys and talk about the different companions. Wdym someone being bisexual is a personal attack??? I'm so glad I don't interact with this side of the internet and sticking to my own small space.
This is why we need both binormative and homonormative spaces, and perhaps divisions of those as well.
Bi here, I'm so sorry you had to witness the Horrors, but the years of your life you lost are zooming into my dessicated husk from the validation I get when you go off like this 😭 thanks bro I've been dying out here sometimes i feel crazy and then you upload and I'm like oh thank fk
@ville__being a dick is a choice
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
@ville__As you all can clearly see from this comment: gay people who keep hearing "just choose not to act in your gay impulses, look at me for example" from their mom or their dad, pastor or priest FEEL that's evidence that bi people are also part of the opressor class, it's just bitterness and envy at never being able to fit in. They are also bitter when bi people (eapecially guys) have sex with them but end in a relationship with the opposite sex. Because it FEELS like they were used. And it FEELS to gay people that they are settling for the opposite sex because it is easier and causes less danger to them, less loss of status, etc. So they hear "bisexuap heteroromantic", scoff and swear to never ever date/hook up with a guy that they FEEL is using an excuse to have his cake and eat it too without backlash from either the gay community (what did you expect young man, he is heterorantic of course he'd dump you, he never loved you, why'd you choose to date him?) or the straight community/heteronormative society (he is keeping on the DL, of course you can't tell anyone of your relationship, if he stays on the downlow or put gay stuff away in the past he can live a normal, happy, safer life if he really don't mind people think he is straight ornhe actually encourages it), even if the person only reveals he is heteroromantic after the hookup and dating which stings SO MUCH, the gay guy may FEEL the need to hate him and call that an excuse. This also doesn't justify anything.
Some of the persons harassing gay people are Homophobic pr Closeted bisexuals, saying 'Being gay is a choice, I feel gay impulses I don’t follow them" ,hus a big part of the hate
I know this is two months old but that tiktok video of Brittany Broski and Caleb joking about "Bisexual women and their boyfriends" bread THOUSANDS and I mean THOUSANDS of the most biphobic and bierasure of comments. It really ruined my day.
Also, do people forget that people can learn more about themselves and grow or even...chance??????
wait which one are you talking about?
This kind of stuff also leaves no room for figuring out your sexuality over time or later in life or being confused. I have gone back and forth from identifying as gay or bisexual throughout myself cuz.. It's confusing!!it took time to figure myself out... It doesn't happen right magically at puberty
Only social media I use is Twitter and I curate my feed so heavily to keep from seeing queer folk cannibalizing each other and I STILL see bi ppl get told these awful things and them having to make public posts telling people to fuck off, even gay furry twitter gets so damn bad sometimes istg 🤢
Reasons I left gay furry Twitter lmao
My brain is not functioning enough right now for me to leave a more substantial comment, so I’ll just say I really appreciate you making this video - and you in general!
I’m a bi woman and I just want to say that this rhetoric/discourse/harassment from the LGBT community does harm bi people. It’s harmed me. It’s stressful to feel like at all times you have to prove to a hoard of strangers that you actually feel the way you do and fight off accusations that you’re a malicious straight person queerbaiting for attention or a confused gay person giving into heteronormativity. This shit made it harder for me to realize I was bi and come out. I was scared I was that evil straight person breaking into the LGBT community or that I’d be seen that way. And I went back and forth wondering if I was actually a lesbian just because I’m more attracted to women and somehow that made me feel like “not a real bi”. I was really feeling pressure to pick a side.
We need to stop putting that pressure on bi people. If a bi person isn’t “practicing homosexuality”, they’re still bi. If a bi person is with a person of the opposite sex, they’re bi. If a bi person is with a person of the same sex, they’re bi. If a bi person is with a non-binary person, they’re bi. If a person is into men and women, they’re bi. Shut up.
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
As a bisexual I automatically agree with anything an attractive person says.
TLDR: Dam you right
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
how tf is it a personal attack on random internet strangers to realize that you're bisexual 😭 it costs you exactly 0 dollars to simply let people live their lives 🥰
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
When are people going to realize that the experiences of being queer isn’t liner to a lot of people? People change-
We are still fighting the dipshit idea that your brain is "done" at 25, I'm not surprised.
As a bisexual woman, this is very disheartening lol. Queerness is all about not fitting into a box but these people are creating entirely new boxes to shove people in.
I did not know about this recent bout of discourse due to my willingly living under a rock to avoid civilization and honestly just hearing about all this makes me think that the rock is indeed a better place to hang out. Why do people just want to attack everyone. This is stupid.
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
I don't understand any person who gets their panties in a bunch over someone else's preferences, like somehow their existence invalidates theirs so they have to invalidate them. People like that need to get a grip, check their ego and learn to validate themselves. I'm bi, with a preference for men, and I just stopped sharing this about me with most people because I'm tired of people not being able to wrap their mind around the concept of sexual fluidity. Also "I am 4 seconds away from gathering a bunch of mice and releasing them into this persons home" made me cackle, thank you for providing some good laughs, I needed it!
Your channel reminds me that aswell as there's hateful people with the reasoning capabilities of a grape, and negative empathy, there’s also still nice people out there, who care mostly about other people's happiness and confort in their own skin. In a way, your videos are a reminder that I'm still sane and that everything is going to be okay, specially this video, as a bisexual female presenting person with a boyfriend, made me feel a little bit more at peace knowing that these people's bitterness is not my fault. Thank you, and hope you’re doing well💖
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything
I have this problem, most people don’t believe me that I’m bi and tell me i’m “lying to fit in with the trend” essentially erasing my experiences as a queer woman. My sister was friends with the crowd on twitter, and she told me i was a “fake bi”, she’s not friends with them anymore and doesn’t think that anymore, but that displays the harm this causes
Yo, this trend has been going on for a while, I wonder when it'll die so I can choose whether to be gay or straight.
Gay people FEEL bisexual straight passing privilege, especially for bi people with opposite sex preferences, and/or no pressure or need to come out (as in both the capacity to not come out of the closet and still find a partner or the privilege of being in a better standard in a heteronormative, homophobic society, thus not being attacked at the streets, etc.) makes gay people really FEEL bitter and envious, like, if they want a partner they have to come out and suffer abuse, the existence of a single bisexual person feeling comfortable not needing to ever come out and settling down in a straight relationship FEEL like a slap to the face for gay people. If they don't mind or prefer not coming out they can choose to either get love from bigoted/non-understanding family members (like a sweet grandma who is too old to get all gender and sexuality nuance or people from different cultures or religious backgrounds) and bring their partner home or go no contact while gay people have to go no contact if they are outed by finding a partner, etc. A bisexual person who doesn’t mind people thinking they're straight or doesn't fell the need to identify externally as bi can still get love while gay people who find love must defend their identity even if they normally wouldn't mind people thinking they're straight and they FEEL horrible. Doesn't justify anything...
@@wareforcoin5780Also gay people who keep hearing "just choose not to act in your gay impulses, look at me for example" from their mom or their dad, pastor or priest FEEL that's evidence that bi people are also part of the opressor class, it's just bitterness and envy at never being able to fit in. They are also bitter when bi people (eapecially guys) have sex with them but end in a relationship with the opposite sex. Because it FEELS like they were used. And it FEELS to gay people that they are settling for the opposite sex because it is easier and causes less danger to them, less loss of status, etc. So they hear "bisexuap heteroromantic", scoff and swear to never ever date/hook up with a guy that they FEEL is using an excuse to have his cake and eat it too without backlash from either the gay community (what did you expect young man, he is heterorantic of course he'd dump you, he never loved you, why'd you choose to date him?) or the straight community/heteronormative society (he is keeping on the DL, of course you can't tell anyone of your relationship, if he stays on the downlow or put gay stuff away in the past he can live a normal, happy, safer life if he really don't mind people think he is straight ornhe actually encourages it), even if the person only reveals he is heteroromantic after the hookup and dating which stings SO MUCH, the gay guy may FEEL the need to hate him and call that an excuse. This also doesn't justify anything.
Some of the persons harassing gay people are Homophobic or Closeted bisexuals, saying 'Being gay is a choice, I feel gay impulses I don’t follow them" ,hus a big part of the hate
as someone who also also identified as lesbian for years before figuring out i was mspec i'm so glad i never saw this discourse whenever i was questioning myself
I've been subscribed for quite a few years now and I just wanted to say, as a Pansexual woman, thank you for this.
it's exhausting sometimes to not only face hate and invalidation from straight people but also your own community. the amount of times i or my bi freinds have been told we're "baiting", we're just experimenting, we're gonna cheat on them or are just straight because we like men, is actually ridiculous.
Ive been thinking for a few years that i might be bi with a strong male prefence, holy shit i really needed this.
my tolerance for biphobia is at a zero rn. these people exhaust me. love this video and thank you❤❤
As soon as I came out as bi in 2020, I knew I'd have to be bi4bi bc I've been shoved back into the closet over and over by the lgbt community bc "if you like men, you can't like women," was a genuine thing commented on old posts and a sentiment carried through my 2010s when I had tried to come out before. This video just looks like how it's always been.
Hi lovely people, here with a little book recommendation: Ramona Blue is about a young girl who has identified as a lesbian for a while and throughput the book realizes, she is actually bisexual as she falls in love with a guy. It's very well written and yeah. Recommend it ^^
Situations is like walking on egg shells, I am very sensitive to situations and it does break my heart that people are so unjust and agents.😢💔
My journey was incredibly similar to this girl, I started identifying as bi around 15/16, shortly after I started identifying as a lesbian, then a couple years later it turned out I'm not even a woman but still was a lesbian (as in, non man loving non men), until about half a year ago maybe? When I started realizing I may be both bisexual, and on the ace spectrum. And honestly fearing these exact reactions made it more difficult for me to accept the bi label, I was scared that some monosexual people in my surroundings would do this exact bullshit. I was fighting myself over these labels because this internalized biphobia made me feel like I'm betraying lesbians by no longer identifying as one. Thank god I've never had a big audience online, so I was able to figure myself out in peace, far from the discourse
I had not seeing this going on, most I saw is some people being pissy about the Billie thing, but I've been lucky to not come across anything else. They just can't act right, can they?
God I'm so glad I'm not around this part of the internet. Then again, I somewhat avoid those areas on purpose, as I have only recently settled on using "queer" as my orientation label, due to labels in general being fucky when you have no sense of gender (agender) and romantic and sexual preferences that are different from each other.
@ville__ If that's so, then by God did I choose well.
One thing I love about the thumbnails of these videos is the haunted, almost pleading expression on your face lmao
I am bisexual. I've been out of the closet for awhile. I'm from the south. Two of my dearest friends are sapphic women who choose to date men more because of their families that they can't get away from right now. These takes are just bi erasure in a fancy coat. There are so many reasons multisexual people date and hookup the way they do and none of it is any more/less valid unless someone is actively being harmed. I really don't appreciate the oppression point seeking behavior. I wish my friends could be who they are. Rhetoric like this will only keep them in the closet.
Yes. It’s also worth noting that someone who likes both the opposite sex and the same sex will be more likely to date a person of the opposite sex simply because there are more straight people than gay people in the world. Like, a bisexual woman is often more likely to date a straight man than a queer woman because straight men are way more common than queer women
Some queer people really think that LGBT stands for:
Lesbian
Gay
Better not be multisexual 😘
Transgender
Meb. A little better than that line from The Boondocks where Riley proudly states it stands for Bacon, Gay, Lettuce and Tomato.
I love Nick coming out of the void and slapping a video out there.
People need to learn to mind their own business. Or maybe they need to be re-taught what the fucking lgBt acronym stands for. To all the bisexual/multisexual folks out there I’m so sorry people treat you like this
Ty
It honestly made me really happy as a multisexual person who is not bisexual to be addressed in the intro as a part of this discussion. Thank you for that ❤❤
Edit: Also just realized that I’ve kind of been distancing myself from being multisexual, and that’s something I should unpack.
speaking of the trans genocide and calling monosexual a slur, cishets are calling cisgender a slur too, including mr musk himself
@ville__no it really isn’t, considering it also makes us victims of hate-crimes and murder
@@_sylph.bard_ Ignore them, they are either a bot or a pathetic troll with no job.
As a bi nonbinary girl with a lean towards guys this is affirming to hear
Online queer discourse is always so exhausting
i’m a bi teen and i’m always scared to ever question my sexuality cause of stuff like this
I love how obviously furious you are while making your point in the calmest possible way!
I guess I would also be one of the fake queers in their yeys since I did try many labels since I couldn't figure out which would suit me. And going from lesbian to bi was one of them.
I really needed this after coming to the realization I'm bisexual recently. I'd been out as a lesbian for quite some time.
I immediately got labeled a "fake lesbian" by my (then) best friend who's a gay man. He continued to act petty about the whole thing for awhile. We ended up parting ways for other reasons, but it hurt.
Compulsory monosexaulity exist, why is this so hard for people to understand.
people keep getting frustrated that I'm not on any of these websites but are they seeing this shit 💀 I'm this close to just tossing the whole internet out and going full old man who thinks bluetooth is going to kill him
I was on tumblr as a last branch of hope but I had to leave because the reblog bait guilt complex shit about palestine got SO bad and so widespread, glad I left when I did since friends are talking about pictures of dead kids getting spread around 😬
@a-bird-lover I haven't been on Tumblr since two years before the Purge (tm) and I'm glad I never went back. That sounds awful.
@@amberrichards2778 the leftist infighting and moral highground people are fighting for in there is insane. The art is nice though
Thank you so much!! I feel seen! I am a bi woman who has a preference for men. I finally came out this year (I'm 22), I didn't want to be judged like these people or be "wrong about who I am", even tho Ive knew since I was like 14. these people make me overthink and make me feel like I'm not valid. I am afraid to tell anyone besides my family that Im bi because I don't want to deal with bi-phobia or people thinking I'm "not gay enough".
The biphobia in the lesbian community is CRAZYYY bro
Ive always known what I was but my best friend was a lesbian till she was 23. She said she never liked men until she was 23 and thought being bi/pan wasn't real. Ik she was having a bit of an existential crisis but I felt really insulted that she basically had secretly thought my entire sexuality was bullshit for 12 years.
I'm not even going to tell her im aromantic bc she probably won't believe me.
This woman has had almost the exact same experience as me: coming out as bi at 14, then lesbian shortly after, and now, at 23, have realised im bi after falling in love with a man. it's refreshing to hear her experience, and I feel less alone. I'm lucky that im not really present on social media online so everyone ive told, face to face, that im dating a man has been really supportive.
I had the exact same experience as the first girl, I identified as a lesbian for years before meeting my current bf. I've been very happy and glad I had this experience. Sexually is fluid. growth and change is good.
No cause I can genuiely relate to the first tiktok, I didn't have anyone attack because I went from lesbian to what would people consider Bi (I don't have a label just like everyone as I feel like my sexuality kinda leans towards both genders with more of a pref for men) but I will say as a former lesbian getting her first male crush (who became my current bf later) It was so confusing for me to figure out if my feelings were just the patarchy "making" me like men or if I had genuine feelings (obviously it was genuine) I didn't realize I had. Esp since I had trauma with men. It was hard for me to realize emotionally my feelings could change and sexuality was fluid and that I realized I didn't explore things about myself, and accepting it to realize its ok, esp after I had already come out. So I can't even imagine being made fun of for it online by other fellow LGBT+ people and esp sapphics when the point is to uplift other sapphics and wlw. Its just so strange to me to make fun of someone when our community is meant to uplift everyone no matter their journey to their identity and/or their sexual preferences. Im so glad were finally talking about this as I've seen this degrading of lesbians/wlw who ended up in some cases liking men or always liking men and women cause it needs to be talked about more.
As a bi woman who leans more towards women
Its wild to me that bi people who like people of the same gender is seen as confised gays who use the label to escape homophobia or "non-practicing bisexuals" if they prefer people of different gender
The worst thing to me is that this nasty behaviour is often accompanied with memeing problematic people and somehow normalizing them. Like, you sure a bisexual woman dating a man, to you, is worse than a gay transphobic republican???
Seeing queer brethren chug the TERF kool-aid blows so hard and leads to flushed friendships. RIP.
every time i hear about some sort of drama regarding bisexual folks being bisexuals n mspec folks i just feel. soooooo tired. like. what. whaaaaaat. whaaaaaaaaaaaaat.